That night, Ranma tossed and turned, plagued by a hoard of fucked up nightmares.
They all started the same way: Akane stood before him in a stunning wedding dress, smiling softly as she waited for her groom on a flower-strewn path, holding a bouquet.
From there, though, everything went to hell because it wasn't Ranma she was marrying.
Instead, it was some nameless, faceless smuck.
That first time, Ranma tried to reason with her, but the conversation quickly devolved into a screaming match of name-calling and insincere insults, which led to a very pissed-off bride. After that, Akane furiously stormed down the aisle as Ranma yelled after her, pathetically pulling rank, and ordering her not to go through with it.
(She went through with it anyway.)
After that first massive failure, Ranma quickly learned his lesson. When the dream scenario reset and he found himself standing before her again, he decided to be less combative this time around. Instead, he grabbed her leg, clinging to her dress pathetically as he begged her not to go through with it, to stop being stupid and call the whole thing off!
(Again, she went through with it anyway.)
On and on it went, with Ranma failing over and over again, each reset even more pathetic and degrading than the last. In this latest attempt, he had failed so badly he'd been forced to watch from behind a tree, beaten and bruised, as she cheerfully said, "I do" and strolled off arm-in-arm with the smug asshole she had chosen over him.
He never did see the jerk's face.
But it was that image—of Akane waltzing away, smirking with her lover, taunting him, that was forever ingrained in his mind.
And it was THAT image that shocked him awake.
Heart racing, Ranma shot up in bed as reality slowly settled around him, even though that godawful image kept dancing before his eyes, haunting him.
Like HELL he was gonna let that happen!
Throwing off his blanket, Ranma's feet hit the cold, hard floor; though he hardly felt the sting, he couldn't feel much of anything besides this newly awakened fury.
If the tomboy thought she could reject him for some idiotic nobody, she had another thing coming!
…
Akane wasn't sure what sort of sick game Ranma was playing, but he certainly wasn't playing fair. Having to sit through lunch while Ukyo fussed over him, FEEDING HIM, using the most nauseating nicknames she'd ever heard—it was all making her stomach churn.
Honestly, how could she be expected to eat like this?! Her soup tasted like sand!
"Say ah, cutie," Ukyo coaxed as she playfully popped another rice ball into Ranma's open mouth.
"Mmm, ish gud," he murmured back, and Akane wondered if maybe the way to a man's heart really was through his stomach because if it was, she hoped he choked on it!
She had every right—had he always been so fickle and pathetic? How could he get over her so quickly?!
"Aww, you two are adorable," said Ranko extra obnoxiously, as she winked at Akane as if to rub it in her face. Her gloating look practically screamed, You have no one to blame but yourself, you know!
Although none of the Saotome women were making her decision any easier.
If she thought turning Ranma down would somehow excuse her from the daily ritual of eating with his family, well, she'd been wrong. That afternoon, Ranko and the matriarch had been quietly observing their progress, and as soon as General Herb had dismissed them for lunch, the two had pounced.
"Really, Akane?" Ranko had clucked her tongue in disappointment. "Did you seriously think you could avoid us forever?"
For some stupid reason, yes.
Yes, she had.
"Just because you're not marrying my son, doesn't mean you're not family," Auntie had admonished as she took her by the arm and escorted her to the dining room herself, effectively trapping her there.
Now, she was stuck sitting at the most uncomfortable lunch ever—forced to watch as Ukyo whispered sweet nothings in her fiancé's ear, as Ranma shamelessly flirted back—all while trying desperately to pretend everything was fine, that she wasn't bothered a bit. Even as "her friend" continued to fan the flames. . .
"So, how are the wedding preparations coming along?" Ranko asked as Akane defiantly stared into her bowl of miso, trying not to listen.
"Wonderfully!" Nodoka replied, as if thrilled to be asked. "I've been busy day and night preparing all the invitations. It's looking like quite the little guest list!"
"Have you, really?" said Ukyo, and for some reason, stared expectantly at Ryoga, who, like Akane, hadn't said much of anything as he stared forlornly at his meal.
Akane couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor guy. He must be absolutely devastated.
However, Ranko must've noticed his silence too. "Ah, cheer up, Ryoga!" She told him as she slapped him on the back. "You're acting like it's the end of the world or something. Aren't you happy for the two of them?"
"Yeah, Ryoga," Ranma echoed, "you haven't congratulated us once!"
Akane glanced at Ukyo, surprised to see she was staring intensely at Ryoga, nervously biting her lip, as if a lot were riding on his answer.
Which was odd. Did Ukyo have lingering feelings for him after all?
But rather than reply right away, Ryoga angrily shoved his bowl aside, and the fork he'd been clutching clattered onto the table, the sound overly loud in the sudden quiet of the room. "I refuse to congratulate you, Ranma, not until you've proven yourself!"
"Huh?" Ranma blinked. "Proven myself how?"
"That you're sincere, you jerk!"
Ranma defiantly crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. "Eh, what makes you think I'm not?"
With a scoff, Ryoga copied his posture. "How stupid do you think I am, Ranma? I'm not blind, you cad! Despite having a fiancée who adores you, who worships the very ground you walk on—"
"I wouldn't go that far," Ukyo protested weakly.
"And even though she's sitting right next to you," he continued passionately like the words physically hurt him to say. "You still can't stop yourself from looking at another girl!"
He pointed directly at Akane then, and her eyes widened in surprise, shocked at the accusation.
And she wasn't alone.
Ranma spluttered, "Like hell, I have!" as Akane hastened to reassure him, "He hasn't, Ryoga!"
"Now that you mention it," Ranko added thoughtfully, glancing between the two, not helping at all. "I've noticed that too. You guys really should be more subtle."
"WOULD YOU SHUT UP?!" Ranma and Akane both shouted at her.
"See?" Ryoga replied, exasperated, as he gestured to them in disgust. "How can I get behind this farce of a marriage when you're even arguing in sync?!"
At a loss, the two simply stared at him, stunned by such insane logic.
"Well, this is all . . . unfortunate," Aunt Nodoka replied, choosing her words with care. "Perhaps I should wait to send out the wedding invitations. What do you think, Ukyo-dear?"
For some reason, Ukyo looked to her partner and friend for an answer. "Good question. What do YOU think, Ryoga?" She stared long and hard, her gaze utterly intense.
Akane could feel the force of it from across the table.
"I-I, uh. . ." Ryoga shifted uneasily, shrinking beneath the strength of her gaze. Or maybe he felt the collective weight of everyone else in the room.
Everyone was eager to hear his answer.
"Yes?" Ukyo pressed as she eagerly leaned forward.
Desperate, the dummy looked to Ranma for help, though Akane still wasn't sure why—why was Ukyo basing her decision on what he had to say, anyway?
Was she not serious about Ranma after all?
Ranma, not bothered at all, sat back in his chair with a mocking grin, looking like the pompous, arrogant royal he was. "Hell, if I'm doing such a shitty job as her fiancé, then go on—prove you can do better, stupid!"
"Ooh, now that I'd love to see!" Ranko tittered, pushing her bowl away like this was the only sustenance she needed.
"Y-y-you big silly," Ukyo protested with a manic grin and flushed cheeks. "I-I didn't mean it like that."
Ryoga, his face suddenly the shade of Ranko's hair, sputtered unintelligently and quickly sat back down. "This-this soup is delicious," he announced loudly and went right back to eating with renewed gusto, pointedly ignoring everyone else.
The sudden quiet in the room was deafening.
"Shoulda known," Ranko complained, as Ukyo muttered, "Jackass."
"Well, it appears the wedding is back on track then!" Nodoka observed, and then added, with much more levity. "In any case, I have some wonderful news to share with you all!"
Instinctively, Akane glanced at Ranko, trying to gauge her reaction; the Queen had a strange understanding of what constituted "good news". However, it quickly became apparent her friend didn't know either.
Ranko looked just as curious, if not a bit weary, as she sat up straighter.
"It just so happens," Nodoka continued to her captive audience, "that we're to have visitors this evening! Your dear friends, King Kuno and Lady Kodachi of Clarines, will be staying with us for a fortnight. It seems they wish to pay their respects in person since they were unable to make it to the ball."
"Of course they missed it," Ranko complained, all her excitement gone. "I purposely sent their invitations late so they wouldn't come."
"Now, Ranko-dear, that wasn't very nice."
"I WAS being nice," Ranko insisted passionately, placing a hand against her chest. "To all of US!"
Akane's face paled, and her chest was tight with dread. She wasn't ready to face Kuno again—not to mention it wasn't safe. What if he tried to take her back to Clarines, or let something slip to Ranma about her sisters?
She needed time. Time to think, to plan.
To pack and run. . .
Considering her options, Akane asked: "How much time do you think we have? Before they get here, I mean?"
"Oh. That I'm not quite sure about," Nodoka told her, though if she'd known the dangers she was allowing into her home, she might've been more troubled. "My husband and his advisors are busy preparing for their arrival now, so it could be anytime, although I suspect this evening at the latest."
So that's why Uncle Saotome had been absent lately. Akane had naively assumed he was still upset about the ball.
"Can't you just uninvite them?" Ranko whined to her mother, not too proud to plead. "It's not too late. We can block the gate and tell them we've moved!"
"You tried that once," Ranma reminded her dryly. "It didn't work, remember?"
"Crap, that's right. That visit was so horrible I must've scrubbed it from my memory!" Again, Ranko looked imploringly at her mother, eyes big and pleading. "Do you REALLY want to subject your only beloved daughter to that torture again? I barely survived the experience last time!"
"Oh, you. Such the little exaggerator," Nodoka tutted affectionately, still not taking her concerns seriously. "Besides, you need not worry. He's married now, my dear. . ."
Ranko scoffed. "That doesn't mean much."
For once, she was right. Akane had seen firsthand how little Kuno valued his marriage to Azusa. And the more she considered all that could go wrong with his arrival, the more appealing dropping everything and taking flight seemed.
But Aunt Nodoka still didn't sense the danger.
"If he does deign to bother you, dear, I trust you and your brother can handle him just fine. Now, I must be off." The Queen rose from the table, smiling pleasantly for the group despite the bombshell she'd just dropped. "I've so much to plan and prepare, you see. In the meantime, you kids have fun."
Ranko spluttered indignantly as she left, and Akane noticed immediately how the mood in the dining hall subtly began to shift. Nobody felt like eating anymore, not with that terrible news hanging over them like a guillotine about to fall.
"Hey, don't sweat it," Ranma told her, sensing her fear. At least he wasn't as oblivious as his mother. "We won't let him get within ten feet of you, Akane. Either of you," he added, glancing at his sister too, right as Akane's heart foolishly skipped a beat. "I promise."
"Yeah," agreed Ukyo, cracking her knuckles in solidarity. "Besides, I've got some meat buns with that jackass's name on them!"
"Right! We'll give that jerk a welcoming he'll never forget," Ryoga cackled, and copying his partner, cracked his knuckles in what was meant to be menacing.
"Thanks," Ranko said, sniffling dramatically. "At least you guys care."
Akane bit her tongue, forcefully stopping herself from thanking them too. She didn't want them to think she was weak or afraid of Kuno, or anything like that. And she certainly didn't want Ranma noticing her red cheeks, or shy gaze, and misconstruing what they might mean.
Because it wasn't that way at all!
It's just, with his promise, she had felt the smallest fragment of hope return. After all, he HAD saved her once before.
Maybe, just maybe, he could do it again (if she needed it).
Either way, Akane had no intention of being blackmailed or manipulated like that again. With or without Ranma's help.
"Well, guess I should get going too. If those asshats are coming, we're gonna wanna be prepared." Ranma pushed his empty plate aside and stood up from the table, but then looked directly at her. "But um, first, you got a minute, Akane? There's something I want to talk to you about."
"Oh. O-okay," she told him, quickly standing up too. If nothing else, she was determined to prove she was perfectly fine with his new engagement. She didn't care ONE BIT.
"Wow, what a cute couple," Ranko observed cheerily, probably because she knew it would annoy Akane. "It's just too bad one of them's engaged. . ."
"Ha!" Ryoga scoffed. "Like that'll stop him. The dog."
"Oh, shut it, P-Chan," Ranma returned, already headed for the door. Of course, if the other boy had been within arms reach, it might have turned into a brawl.
Ranma didn't take criticism well, and Ryoga had been pestering him all day.
But Akane had her own battle to wage; Ranko had been pushing it with the snide comments lately too.
"I'll see YOU later," she told her friend, leveling her with a look that promised a very stern talking to.
Although, something must've been lost in translation.
"Great! Can't wait," Ranko returned with a grin and a wave.
Akane scowled but pushed it out of her mind as she continued to follow Ranma out of the dining room. She knew their conversation was much more important, so as they walked, she secretly practiced her speech.
Congratulations on your engagement, Ranma. I'm so happy for you! Ukyo is great. You'd better not hurt her!
She went over her lines again and again until they were perfect because this time she was determined to say all the right things and mean them.
…
The dining hall had become stifling and quiet the moment her brother and Akane had left. For some reason, Ukyo and Ryoga refused to look at each other. It was like watching two pouting lovesick storks doing a mating dance.
Ranko couldn't stand it any longer.
"So, what gives anyway?" She asked, glancing at Ryoga as she idly trailed a finger over the lip of her glass. "You got a thing for Akane or something?"
If Ryoga had been drinking, he would've spat it right in her face.
"W-w-what?" he spluttered, going bright red. "Where did you even get that idea?!"
"I mean, you're not protesting out of the goodness of your heart. Either you've got a thing for Akane and you're afraid she'll get hurt. Or it's Ukyo you're worried about. Why else would you get so invested in my brother's love life?"
Ukyo snorted as she leisurely finished off her tea, probably enjoying watching the dork squirm.
"I-it's not like that," Ryoga protested, still avoiding Ukyo's eyes, as if looking at her might give him away.
"Then what is it like?" she asked, innocently blinking her eyes. "Are you trying to tell me you're interested in Ranma then?"
Ukyo choked, spitting up her drink as Ryoga gaped in horror, his face turning an unflattering shade of green.
For a second there, she legitimately thought he'd be sick.
"D-don't even joke about something like that," Ukyo complained as she wiped at her mouth and pushed away her chalice.
Ryoga remained silent.
Maybe he was afraid he'd throw up?
"I was only kidding," Ranko muttered, rolling her eyes. "Geez, you two are no fun."
Finally, Ryoga appeared to come back to himself. "I LIKE GIRLS!" he blurted, staring intensely at Ukyo, face red, as if desperate to make her understand. Louder, he repeated, "Girls! ONLY GIRLS!"
Ukyo blushed down to her roots. "Nice to know, I guess?" she said slowly, thrown off by his forcefulness.
Unable to help herself, Ranko leaned forward, eyes twinkling playfully. "Oh? Does that mean you do like Akane after all, Ryoga?"
Good old Captain Oblivious didn't disappoint.
"N-not like that!" Ryoga insisted strongly, with a nervous laugh. "I mean, yeah, of course, she's pretty, and brave, honest and nice—"
As Ukyo glowered, Ranko didn't miss a beat: "But you just like Ukyo more. Am I Right?"
"Right!" Ryoga agreed, nodding. But it wasn't long before the moron realized what he'd said, and froze again, his entire face going through the entire spectrum of colors, settling on petrified puce.
Ukyo didn't look much better. Her flushed face could've set the room on fire.
"W-wait!" He corrected, looking horrified as he waved his arms in the air, trying desperately to take back his unintended confession. "N-not like that! Strictly as a friend. A FRIEND!"
Ukyo rolled her eyes, the blush slowly fading. "It's okay, Sug. I get it," she replied, although to Ranko, who wasn't an obtuse idiot like Ryoga, her disappointment was deafening.
Damn, did she have to do everything around here?!
"Yeah, sure. Friends," Ranko mocked, air quoting the word. "Geez, you guys are as bad as those other two. Why don't you just kiss already and get it over with?"
Again, Ryoga spluttered, looking downright panicked, like Ranko might try to smoosh their faces together or something.
Which, to be fair, she just might.
Unfortunately, Ukyo was determined to play the sweet, understanding pushover instead.
"D-don't be silly," the female guard returned, laughing awkwardly. "We're fine as is. Aren't we, Ryoga? As friends!"
"GOOD friends," Ryoga confirmed, nodding his head with vigor, glad to leave all that kissing talk behind him. "There's no one I trust with my life more."
"Aww, 'Sug. . ."
"Uh huh," Ranko drawled, unamused, as she watched the two make googly eyes at one another. "Sure sounds like a proposal to me, but hey, what do I know? I'm just some poor, impartial observer, forced to bear witness to the love-struck looks you two keep sneaking whenever you think no one's watching . . . but yeah, sure, let's keep it platonic."
"D-don't be silly!"
"I swear, it's not like that!"
All their objections fell on deaf ears.
Ranko had heard enough.
Ignoring their pathetic protests, she abruptly stood from the table, leaving the rest of her meal untouched; further proof of just how upset their lies had made her.
Like her brother, Ranko never skipped a meal!
But if today had taught her anything, it was that these two would NEVER get anywhere without her help. And there was no way Ranma or Akane could ever stir the pot enough to make them crack.
All of them were useless!
No. It was time to take matters into her own hands now! When Ranko was done with them, these two nitwits would be on the ground BEGGING her to step aside and let them marry!
"Just you wait!" She told them both, cackling as she pointed at them with a crazed, manic look in her eyes. "I've only just begun!"
The two stared back at her, slack-jawed and confused, but without further explanation, Ranko left the room feeling triumphant, all the tiny details of her plan falling into place with every single step she took.
This was gonna be fun!
…
Ranma didn't like libraries. He wasn't much of a reader for one thing, and it reminded him of all those stuffy, boring duties he'd had forced upon him. Not to mention, it was always cold and smelled like dust and decay.
But for those very reasons, it was also the perfect place to go for privacy.
Nobody ever went to the castle's private library. It was old and deserted for a reason.
But that didn't stop him from checking every nook and cranny they passed anyway, just to be safe. Ranma had a reputation to uphold after all; he couldn't afford to have people think he was bowing and scraping to some girl after being rejected!
He wasn't pathetic.
"K. Looks like it's all clear," he told her once his survey was over and he was sure they were alone.
Not that Akane cared.
She kept glancing around the place with obvious interest, more curious about her surroundings than in him.
"So what did you want to talk to me about, Ranma? And why are we here?" At first, she sounded curious, but then she narrowed her eyes at him, suspicious. "You're not looking for wedding advice, are you?"
Ranma fought back a grin. "Why? Does it bother you?
"Not at all." She sniffed.
"Whatever," he muttered, cursing himself for baiting her. That's not why he'd brought her here. "Look, I know you might not need my help, Akane, like, with Kuno and all that, but I just wanted you to know that I've got your back. You know?"
If his chivalry was making her swoon, she hid it well.
"Thanks, Ranma, I appreciate it, but contrary to what you seem to believe, I can take care of myself. So if that was all, I guess I'll be going now. . ."
"Wait! I'm not done," Ranma told her and moved swiftly before she could get past him. "I had something to ask you too!"
Thankfully, she stopped. "Like what?" She asked, furrowing her brow. "If it's about the wedding, Ranma, I. . ."
"Nono, it's nothing like that," he assured her, not wanting to give her the wrong idea. "It's about your necklace," he said, gesturing to where it probably rested again, hidden beneath her tunic. Before Akane could stop herself, she instinctively reached for it, clutching it beneath her shirt, as if panic-stricken. "See," Ranma pointed out, annoyed. "That's exactly what I mean. It's obvious you're hiding something!"
"I—I'm not hiding anything," she insisted, angry and defensive, further proving his point. "And even if I was, which I'm not, it's none of your business, Ranma!"
"Of course it is," he snapped, growing agitated himself. "I asked you to marry me, stupid, so if you already have a fiancé, or-or a husband out there somewhere, I have a right to know!"
"LIKING me doesn't give you the right to pry. How is that any different from Kuno trying to force his way into my bed?!"
"What the hell are you talking about?! That's not the same thing and you know it!"
Akane's hands clenched, her eyes dark with warning. "Look," she began, taking a breath, even though her hand was still clutching onto that damn necklace. "It doesn't matter either way—so drop it!"
Ranma glowered. "That's easy to say," he told her as he crossed his arms and hardened his gaze, ready to show her just how stubborn he could be. "But you're obviously hiding something and I'm not gonna stop bugging you until I figure out what it is. Hell, a fraction of the truth would be fine—after everything, don't I deserve at least that much?"
The tomboy shot him a look, one that seemed to say, I don't owe you a goddamn thing.
Which was true.
But Ranma continued, undeterred.
"I'm gonna figure it out anyway, you know, so you might as well tell me yourself. I promise I won't get mad."
"Honestly!" Akane huffed, even though her posture was more relaxed now, less severe, despite the threat hanging over her head. "Why do you even care? You're engaged to Ukyo now, aren't you? You should be worrying about her."
"This isn't about her!" He snapped, his tone challenging. "This is about US. Just, tell me why. Why did you tell me no at the ball? Is there—is there someone else? Some other guy?" Again, his eyes gravitated to her throat, to the delicate chain resting against her skin. He hated not knowing, but he feared the answer almost as much. "Do you have his picture in that necklace of yours?"
Silence hung in the air between them.
Yet somehow, Akane looked calmer, her expression thoughtful.
Maybe she was realizing this wasn't a hill she wanted to die on after all.
Leaning her back against one of the tall bookshelves, she sighed. "Alright," Akane relented, staring down at the floor. "If I tell you, Ranma, do you promise to stop bugging me about this? You'll accept my answer once and for all?"
"Of course," Ranma said with a nod.
"Okay," she replied, taking a slow, uneven breath. Finally, she looked up at him, her pretty eyes bright with resolve. "You're right. I am engaged, actually. That's the real reason I can't marry you, Ranma, or make you any sort of promise. All this time, I've been pledged to someone else."
Even though he'd suspected as much, the words hit him like a sucker punch to the gut. "Oh," he uttered, and swallowing uncomfortably, leaned against his stack, trying to appear much more laid back than he felt. "Do you—do you love him?"
Akane hesitated, struggling to answer, so Ranma held his breath, already preparing for a follow-up attack.
"I do," she told him, the words coming out pained and strained as if they hurt her to say—and good. They hurt him to hear. "I do love him. I'm so sorry. I-I do like you, Ranma, but this—US—It was never supposed to happen."
He stared intently at the floor, his eyes clouded and heavy, but his heartbeat was pounding now, ringing loudly in his ears.
"So why are you here?" he asked, the words pulled painfully from his throat as he met her gaze. "Shouldn't you be back home, with him?"
Looking at him directly proved to be too much to bear. She immediately looked away, blushing.
"It-it's complicated," she said as she pushed away from the bookshelf, looking anyplace but at him. "Besides, it doesn't change anything. So can we please end things here? Can we go back to being friends?"
Ranma's mouth drew into a thin tight line, his jaw clenched. "What if I don't want to?"
"Dummy! You promised!"
"I promised to hear you out, Akane, and I did, but seriously, if you thought THAT story would make me give up, you're nuts!"
"Ranma!"
"Think about it, stupid! What kinda guy lets his fiancée cut her precious hair, wander the countryside alone, and then does NOTHING when she's kidnapped and almost forced to become a fucking concubine?! I don't care if you love him—the guy's a prick! And you actually expect me to step aside and say: 'Yeah, sure. You were here first, man. YOU CAN HAVE HER?!'"
"Y-YOU don't get a say, stupid! My life has nothing to do with you!"
"So you keep saying, but I KNOW you love me. Hell, if you didn't, you would've told me the truth right from the start. You know what you wouldn't have done? You wouldn't have kissed me that night when you were drunk, or again, back at the ball. You wouldn't have run away after my proposal, and you wouldn't be trying SO HARD to push me away now!" He paused then, his tone softening as he met her wide, startled eyes with a certainty that had her shrinking back. "You can't see yourself, Akane. But I can. And with every lie you say, every excuse you give—" He gestured to her eyes, her lips, her hands, "—a part of you trembles."
She couldn't argue.
Hell, she could barely even look at him anymore.
"I-I told you what you wanted to know," she finished lamely, and it was her voice that trembled that time. "So can I go?"
Ranma stepped to the side. "I'm not stopping you."
Akane nodded once, and still not looking at him, left the library like the books had caught fire, like the smoke had been steadily choking her lungs.
But Ranma knew this wasn't over. Not by a long shot.
This conversation had proven one thing for sure: The dummy was lying.
The question was why.
…
Their esteemed guests arrived at the gates of the castle sooner than anyone expected, and the entire royal family was there to welcome them warmly back to Wistalia.
Well, most of them.
"Do I really need to be here?" Ranko asked again, garbed in one of her finest dresses and hating it. "I despise them both, remember?"
"How could we forget, dear," Nodoka replied with a fond, doting smile. "You've spoken of little else."
"That being said," continued their father, clearing his throat, his gaze laser-focused on the road below. "You two best be on your finest behavior, you hear? I don't want any trouble for our guests."
"It's them you gotta worry about, Pops," Ranma reminded him.
"But don't you worry none," Ranko assured him, pitching her voice obnoxiously high. "I'll be the sweetest little thing they ever did see."
Genma shot a droll look toward his wife. "Why haven't we married her off yet?"
"No one would have her," Ranma replied with a snort.
"Oh ho! What makes you so certain I don't already have a beau?" Ranko asked with a flutter of her lashes.
"Uh, maybe because no one in this country's that crazy?"
"Hush, you two," their mother commanded. "I think they're about to disembark."
"Geez, it's about time," Ukyo muttered to Ryoga as Ranko turned her attention back to the Kuno's gold-studded carriage.
The four gorgeous white steeds attached at the front of the contraption still hadn't moved. But they continued to neigh in agitation as the tacky ornaments glinting beneath the setting sun beamed directly into their purebred eyes.
Two of the horses looked ready to bolt.
Wouldn't it be awesome if they did?
Unfortunately, the carriage door swung open just then, and Kuno finally emerged, his figure dramatically backlit by the approaching twilight behind him. Standing stiff and proper, he began his regal descent down the coach's steep steps, nodding gallantly to his hosts, the perfect picture of a proud and virtuous man—that is, until his sister shoved him out of the way, anxious to be free of the contraption herself, sending him flying to the side. Ultimately, the king struck a rather undignified pose as he clung to the side of the carriage, trying his best not to fall off.
"Mother! Father!" Kodachi greeted as she stepped daintily to the ground, using her brother's back as a handrail. "It has been far too long!"
The Queen stepped forward and warmly wove her arm through Princess Kodachi's. "How nice to see you again, dear," she said, speaking in her polite, diplomatic voice, the one she always used with guests. "I was so disappointed you were unable to attend my son's engagement ball. You were sorely missed."
Ranko snorted indelicately. "Yeah. Like a toothache."
Kodachi cut her a look of untempered hatred. "Yes, well. I'm afraid my invitation arrived a smidgeon too late," she replied, though her tone was scathing.
Ranko sighed. "What a pity. Good help is so hard to find these days."
"Indeed it is," Kodachi told her and looked poised to bicker some more when, miraculously, her gaze landed on Ranma instead, and those dark eyes lit up with a different sort of fire. "Ah, my prince! My love! It is indeed a pleasure to see you again!"
Before the princess could latch onto his arm, waist, or some other available body part, her brother grabbed Ukyo and held her before him like a human shield. "Hi-ya, Kodachi! Sorry, but I'm engaged now! For real. To her!"
Ukyo looked beyond disgusted. "Lucky me," she muttered, though Ryoga didn't look much better.
"Ranma, you bastard! How dare you use Ukyo like some kind of scapegoat!"
Ranma peeked out from around his fake fiancee. "Gee, It's almost like she's my bodyguard or something, huh?" He rolled his eyes, still hiding behind her.
Ranko didn't blame him. They'd both learned the hard way never to let their guards down around a Kuno: If the siblings saw an opening, they'd bulldoze their way into it.
But at least with the King and Queen there, watching closely, Kodachi was forced to keep up her act. So rather than attack her competition outright, she settled for glaring murderously at the offending girl instead. However, her arm must have unconsciously tightened around her mother's because the Queen gave a slight wince at the pressure, her smile strained.
"Such happy tidings indeed!" Kuno announced after finally making it down from the carriage. He smiled smugly at Ranma, his eyes full of mirth. "You could even say I was enchanted by the news."
"I bet you were," Ranma replied through clenched teeth.
"However, I must first apologize on behalf of my mad wife." He turned again to address the King and Queen, his head bowed low in contrition. "She had so wished to accompany us here, but I fear she was feeling far too sick to travel. In her absence, I pray my presence alone shall suffice."
Kodachi, irate at being ignored, stomped on his foot with the sharp edge of her heel, drawing an outraged shout and an abhorrence-filled glare. But, through gritted teeth, he added: "And that of my twisted sister, of course."
"We're so pleased to have you both," Nodoka assured them as everyone in their party released quiet sighs of relief. Having to handle the Kuno siblings was taxing enough. Entertaining Azusa would've stretched them past their breaking point.
There were so many cute things in Wistalia. They wouldn't be able to protect them ALL!
But she was so distracted by news of Azusa, that Ranko accidentally let down her guard.
Suddenly, Kuno was before her, taking her hand in his. "Ah, but what a vision of loveliness I see before me," he exclaimed, and not for the first time. He was always spouting crap like that. "You, my dear Ranko, are as lovely as ever." He laid a chaste kiss upon her hand, a kiss that lingered much longer than necessary as she quickly yanked her hand away.
Whelp, that was her cue. Time to finally put her plan into action.
Maybe now they could all win.
"Oh, you—you flatter me, sir," Ranko told him as she immediately began wiping the back of her hand on her skirt. But then she sidled up next to Ryoga and wound her arm tightly through his so he couldn't get away. "By the way, have you met MY fiancè yet? This is Ryoga Hibiki. My beloved beau."
Ryoga froze, his eyes on her arm. "Uh . . .?"
"WHAT?" Ukyo snapped.
Ranko lowered her head, blushing demurely. But inside, she was cheering.That's right. Dance, puppets, dance!"Oh, you," she said again, slapping Ryoga playfully on the arm. "I know you've wanted to keep our love a secret, but I can't keep it to myself any longer! I must shout it from the mountaintops!"
Ryoga tried to extract her arm. "What the hell are you—"
Ranko pulled him closer. "Play along, stupid," she whispered so nobody could hear. "Unless you want Ukyo and my brother to marry? If so, just say the word."
The fool's eyes widened at the alternative, and his jaw clenched tightly. "Fine. I'll help you, Your Highness, but this better not be a trick," he whispered. Then louder, added, super awkwardly: "M-me either. H-honey!"
"What is going on here?" Genma asked his wife, as he glared at the befuddled boy.
"I'm not quite sure, dear. It seems love is in the air?"
He boomed, "Not in THIS air, it's not!"
Ranko ignored her senile old man and grinned triumphantly at Kuno. "So. Aren't you going to congratulate me too?"
"B-but of course," he said, the shock finally wearing off. For a hot second there, she thought he might keel over—which would've worked just as well. Either way, the lie ought to keep him out of her hair from now on. "My congratulations on your . . . unexpected . . . engagement. Your fiancé is one lucky man."
The scathing look he threw Ryoga, however, said otherwise.
But what else could he do, really? After marrying Azusa, he could no longer pursue her, anyway—there's no way she could be his concubine. And yet, there was no harm in giving him a little extra incentive to back off either. Maybe he'd be so upset, he'd forget all about Akane.
That, and crushing his hopes and dreams was fun. The jerk deserved it.
"Heh, thanks," Ryoga told him, rubbing his neck shyly. The doofus.
"Yeah. We're all thrilled about it," Ukyo added, seething.
"I know I am," Ranma agreed with a laugh, only to be elbowed in the stomach by Ukyo.
Wow, this was going great! She should have lied like this ages ago!
"It is indeed a pity," Kuno went on, morose, but this time, he began to glance around the courtyard as if looking for someone.
And any triumph she felt faded away.
Was that jerk looking forAkane?!
"I hope your journey was a comfortable one," King Genma continued as he nodded to his guest, impatient to lighten the mood. "Those old roads can be quite treacherous this time of year, or so I'm told."
"It was quite pleasant, thank you," he assured him while still clearly distracted.
Ranko glanced at her brother, only to see his fists were clenched too as if he knew precisely who he was searching for.
The King, oblivious, suddenly clapped Kuno on the back, causing him to awkwardly stumble forward in surprise. "How about we show you to your rooms, eh? You must be tired out after a long day of travel!"
"That would be lovely," Kodachi agreed, clinging tighter to the Queen's arm. "That ride was torturous. I couldn't sleep a wink!"
"You poor dear," her mother said, patting her on the arm. "Let's get you two settled then, shall we?"
As the King and Queen began to lead them back inside the castle, Kodachi glanced back at Ranma one last time. He was still hiding behind Ukyo, but she blew him a kiss anyway, and said, "Au revoir, my love. Until we meet again."
The twinkle in her eye implied it would be sooner rather than later; her brother would have to remember to deadbolt his doors tonight.
But as the rest of them followed the happy progression inside, Ranko's eyes continued to linger on Kuno.
She didn't like this.
He seemed distracted but oddly determined. Like he was a man on a mission. And it wasn't hard to figure out what that mission was: Every time they passed a short-haired servant, his eyes lingered, and once, he even forced a poor, startled girl to turn around until he'd gotten a good look at her face.
He wasn't being subtle about it at all.
Was it any surprise, then, that she wasn't the only one who noticed?
"You looking for someone?" Ranma asked him, his tone and eyes hard. "Because if you are, you're wasting your time. Akane left weeks ago."
"Oh? That's a pity. I was so looking forward to a reunion, you see."
Yet, he said all of that with a smile. Probably because he didn't believe him.
The jerk likely had spies all over.
But now, more than ever, she was relieved Akane had agreed (reluctantly) to stay far, far away. His intentions were clear.
The King of Clarines was looking for her.
End of Chapter 14