X-Squad: Luigi's Mansion

by garshishoe

Well fuck, the Metal Gear memes are gonna roll in so fast that Raiden might not be able to see them! Hope you called your therapist cause this saga’s gonna fuck with your head! Viewer discretion was eaten by Blade Wolf. Side effects include wondering why the X-Squad's crossing over with Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, Symphogear, Highschool DXD, and Luigi's Mansion.

3. Face the Music

Natsume had set up a press conference the following day.

"As you are all aware, my chief editor was recently arrested and is in the X-Squad's custody for unlicensed manipulation of an AWE, as well as assault and criminal mischief in creating psychotic breakdowns, forcing my fans to drive themselves into debt buying numerous copies of my work. I'm currently working with my publisher to refund any copies the victims no longer need. The truth is, I originally got into writing, not for some sentimental reason, or even just to prove I can be as good as my grandfather."

He smiled.

"I got into writing because it's just what I love to do. I never cared for that much fame or money. I always thought, if just one person loves my stories, that's good enough. That said, until I can get a new chief editor, Prince of Nightmares will have to go on hiatus. But I assure you, those adventures will come back stronger than ever. My story, both as a writer and as a hero, have not yet ended, and neither has the young Overlord's."

---

In many walks of life throughout the land, there will always be nothing more mystical than the illustrious magical girl. They are a strange breed of teenage girls full of hope and cheer; they fart rainbows, make people smile and hug adorable kittens.

EXCEPT IN THIS STORY!

At a remote high school, standing on the pitcher's mound of her school's baseball field, stood Candice Catnipp, who shall be called Cinadexc, a seventeen-year-old blonde tomboy with yellow eyes, and a love of sports- especially baseball. She also loved hunky boys, bubblegum and punk rock music.

As she stood straight up, ball in her glove, she prepared her pitch. It was the bottom of the ninth, with two outs, bases loaded, and a tie game. Cinadexc blew a bubble with her gum. It popped, and she chewed it. Then, she sent a swift pitch straight over the pitcher's mound, in an attempt to intimidate the meek girl up to bat. She was surprised when her pitch was hit, and sent flying out of the ball park and into the street. The poor baseball was then run over by a car.

Cinadexc's eye twitched in anger as she watched the car go by.

As the opposing team congratulated their winning batter, Cinadexc promptly walked over to her, and slammed her fist into her face, determined to beat her to a bloody pulp.

"Hit my winning pitches will you? I'll show you, you spotlight stealing bitch!" She cried, as she let the punches rain on the hapless batter.

Oh. Right. Two more things you should know about Cinadexc.

Tweet! Two police officers came running over to the baseball field, wrestled down and overpowered her, and then handcuffed her and began leading her away.

"Hey! What the hell gives? You can't arrest me! I didn't do nothing!" Cinadexc shouted, kicking her legs furiously and struggling to break free. "Your evidence will never hold up in court! I want my lawyer, you shit-eating pigs!"

She was a repeat juvenile delinquent, mostly for shoplifting, but she'd been convicted on assault charges too. She also had a really vulgar tongue.

"Hey! Fuck you, asshole!" Cinadexc yelled at the narrator.

Oh, hush!

Meanwhile, in the chemistry lab, there was one of the top idols of the school, Bambietta Basterbine, who we shall from now on call Baxbtieatm. She was an intelligent junior year, dark haired and blue eyed beauty, with a killer body. Her hobbies included tennis, reading romance novels, looking at pictures of cats on the internet, and she was a fan of the Pokemon franchise.

BOOM!

As the chem lab exploded every student in the room was ducking under the desks. Bambietta, however, lifted up her safety goggles and cheered, "Whoo hoo! Success!"

Oh, right. And she loved explosions. She was quite the notorious ant hill bomber, solved 70% of her problems with C4, and considered Michael Bay films art.

Baxbtieatm winked at the reader and gave them the peace sign. "The stories are crap, but who doesn't love stuff blowing up?"

Everybody, but I'm sure you can find that kind of thing in better films.

"Nobody does explosions like Michael Bay, and you know it!"

Whatever.

At this same time, the cheer leading squad was performing their routine for the school's football team "The Archers". Among them, pink haired and eyed student Meninas McAllon, now dubbed Nansemix. She was a senior at the school and definitely the most voluptuous of the entire cheer leading squad and the eyes of many boys in the school. She was an amazing cook, specializing in cakes, muffins and cookies. She loved kittens, puppies and bunnies. She could play the drums and the flute really well, and she often was a supervisor for her district's Girl Scout troupe, and there was no man alive who could refuse her when she helped sell cookies. She was a black belt in karate, and she was an all-around sweetheart. There was just one teensy tiny problem with Nansemix.

"Head's up!" One of the football team members shouted as he threw an incomplete pass towards the cheerleaders.

The other cheerleaders ran screaming, but Nansemix managed to catch the ball in between her pom-poms while the ball was barely two inches from her face. Without even waiting for it to be asked to be returned, Nansemix dropped her right pom-pom and threw the ball as hard as she could. It sailed through the air at near supersonic speed, hitting with perfect accuracy the quarterback's groin. He wore a cup, but that didn't matter- Nansemix' strike had hit him pretty hard. He squeezed his legs together, toppled over and grabbed his crotch.

"Oh my gosh!" Nansemix jogged forward, her boobs bouncing with every step. "Are you all right?"

"I… can never… have children…" the quarterback squealed with pain.

"Oh good, you're fine," Nansemix said with a smile.

The problem was that Nansemix was either completely oblivious to the pain of others, or she was a closet sadist. The jury was still out on that one.

"I… need a doctor."

"Oh you'll be fine. Walk it off!" She then returned to her fellow cheerleaders to continue practice.

While the quarterback was carried off the football field, Giselle Gewelle, now dubbed Exlsgeil, a blue-eyed, pale-skinned, black-haired sophomore, was currently teaching her students a lesson in an abandoned classroom. It was after school hours and no one was currently using the room, so she was using it to indulge herself in one of her sick and twisted fantasies.

"And this, class," she said, using a stick to point to the diagram she had on the overhead projector that was transmitting images from her laptop, "Is what it looks like when you sew a surgically removed penis to someone's breasts."

Yeah, Exlsgeil wasn't exactly right in the head. Though there were good things about her. There was…there was…actually no, she's completely fucked up and creepy. Sure, she liked Stephen King novels and the poetry of Edgar Allen Poe. But she also considered the Hellsing Ultimate series softcore porn; to her, Silence of the Lambs and Sweeney Todd were romantic comedies, and she thought of Quentin Tarantino as a director of surrealist movies. She also thought that Jason Vorhees would make the perfect boyfriend.

"Any questions class?" Exlsgeil asked, looking at all the corpses she had dug up, stitched together and somehow dragged to school and set up in the empty classroom without being noticed.

One of the heads rolled off of the dead bodies and then Exlsgeil felt something crawl up her back and on top of her head. It was a very large and very hairy tarantula.

"Oh there you are, Mitzy," Exlsgeil said, glancing up at the tarantula. The tarantula crawled down her face, sticking its thorax in between Giselle's eyes. Giselle held the arachnid in the palms of her hands. "Did you find that dead bird I left for you?" Mitzy's fangs wiggled back and forth. "I bet somebody's hungry for rat. I found a big fat one in the janitor's closet. Come on, I'll show you." Exlsgeil then left the room, leaving all the dead bodies still in the classroom.

Some might marvel at the oddity of a classroom full of corpses- what about the stench, or the sanitation issues, or the complete lack of ethics?- but such simple trivialities were far below Exlsgeil. Reason and Logic had learned to stay far away from her, because she did terrible, terrible things to them and they were still traumatized from the last time, thank you very much. As such, Exlsgeil and reality had a relationship that Facebook would call "complicated". In effect, she pretty much did whatever she wanted. It would be anarchy, if Exlsgeil wasn't so neat and orderly. Students somehow didn't ask questions, mainly because something deep in their soul told them not to, and she held her classes uninterrupted.

Saying Exlsgeil had issues was like saying a nuclear explosion was loud. It didn't really touch upon the important details of the obvious and couldn't be a bigger understatement if you tried.

And, finally, there was Liltotto Lampered, now dubbed Ottoxltil. Like Candice, she was blonde. Unlike Cinadexc, she was a freshman, and her eyes were caramel colored. Ottoxltil might not have really hit into puberty—even Exlsgeil had at least a little volume—but she had other good points. She was good at fixing motor vehicles. She liked nature documentaries. And she was a big fan of stand-up comedy. However, she too also had a critical flaw.

At present, Ottoxltil was at the school store buying at least a dozen candy bars and bags of chips. Upon paying for her snacks, she tore them all open and wolfed them down with gusto that would make a starving grizzly bear tearing into a freshly killed reindeer look refined. In all likeliness, the grizzly would probably raise its nose and say, with some pride, that he had standards and that eating like Ottoxltil was a disgraceful comparison. Yeah, her eating manners were essentially haram.

…what? They don't all have to be ungodly horrendous.

These five girls were often thought to not get very far in life, Exlsgeil especially since most people thought she'd end up in an insane asylum before she was 25. However, starting today they'd be known as the Mahou Shoujo Niji Tenshi! Roughly translating to: Magical Girl Rainbow Angels!

---

Considering how late they stayed up ghost-hunting, the squad decided to just relax for the day.

"Well," Akechi said, as the squad got comfortable. "All's well that ends well. At least for this chapter of the case."

"It shouldn't take long for Natsume to return from this setback," Yusuke noted, "He is still an accomplished writer, so I'm sure there are plenty of editors wishing to work with him."

"Natsume always said he wanted to use his writing to save the souls of others," Veruca said, "The way his grandfather's writing saved his."

"Speaking of which," Zenkichi said, "It's about time I join Niwatori's interrogation. Let's see if he can give us a few pieces to the puzzle we got from Otohime. I'll see you back at the elevator."

---

That evening, Zenkichi summed up what he had learned.

"It was an identical story to Otohime, and in fact Niwatori had been collaborating with her, at least on a superficial level. He even hinted that they weren't the only two that knew of this. That said, he wouldn't say who the mastermind is, though I kinda doubt he actually knows."

"I did notice something going through both Otohime and Niwatori's phone," Futaba said, "Seems someone was keeping tabs on them digitally. Very sneaky too, I had trouble finding it even with Forbidden Knowledge. I do know they're operating within the country. If I can get a bigger sample, I can trace the line more clearly. And that means finding more Underworlds."

"There's something else I should mention," Zenkichi said, "It seems these two were in operation for the last three months, coinciding with the release of EMMA."

"Have you investigated Maddice?" Makoto asked.

"We did conduct interviews with their top execs," Zenkichi said, "Even the CEO himself, who happens to be a pro hero in his own right. Everything about the company is up to board. Plus, we know there's a bootleg version going around creating the Underworlds, we just don't know where it comes from. For now we should check out the next incident, which is on Floor 4."

"Oh, I happen to know someone there," Haru said, "She and my father were great friends once. She was almost like a surrogate mother. Well... Until my father descended into criminal activity."

"And Akira Konoe, the CEO of Maddice, will be on the 2nd floor as a guest speaker. He's also agreed to speak with you guys. He thinks he might have an idea about where the bootleg version of EMMA came from."

"I certainly hope this doesn't lead us to green slime. I'm allergic!" Coomer randomly added.

"No need to fear. Once the people understand I am an ally of THE LAW they shall understand my presence as a necessary and helpful addition!" Barinade added.

"Looks like we're back on the clock, team," Ren said.

Yuina rubbed her chin.

"Konoe... Konoe... Where have I heard that name before?"

Going back to the elevator, the squad watched the '2' button insert itself next to the '1'. Although they've technically used the Grand Lobby elevator on the second floor, they suspected a new button was somewhere on that level, and they had an inkling it was somewhere east of the Dressing Room and Storage Room since they hadn't able to explore that area. There was only one way to find out.

---

"Oh, Vic, you are so fucked...again." A certain Camille L'Espanaye said, as she took pictures of the animals being mutated by the cyborgs, giggling like a school girl, due to having become a teenager when she reincarnated to this strange Mushroom Kingdom knockoff.

The two right-hand men of the air pirate crew known as the Karnage Clan, a tall and muscular dog called "Dump Truck" and the slender "Mad Dog" who was definitely more weasel than dog, were taking the opportunity to just kick back and just take photos. They didn't mind not doing any piracy due to being stuck here. It was just good to have a break.

But the sound of heavy leather boots stomping toward them, kicking up dust, was a harbinger that today wasn't going to be a having-a-break kind of day.

"DUMP TRUCK!" a shrill voice barked out. "MAD DOG! L'ESPANAYE!"

"Awwww, not this again!" Mad Dog groaned.

"Maybe if we pretend to be asleep," Dump Truck suggested, "he'll go away!"

So the trio shut their eyes tightly and fell to the floor.

"Dump Truuuuck," the voice wheedled. "Mad Dog. L'Espanaye. I know you are not sleeping. You had best not be faking the sleep to get out of listening to your captain's very important announcements, or your consequences will be the direst."

That got both the pirate grunts and the spin doctor to bolt up into sitting positions; "WE'RE AWAKE! WE'RE AWAKE!"

They beheld their impatient captain. A tall, rather handsome wolf with orange fur, dressed in a many-buttoned blue jacket and white pants. A cutlass was lashed to his belt unsheathed, its blade glittering wickedly as an unspoken threat. This was Don Karnage, the most feared pirate to prowl the airspace around Cape Suzette.

Of course, truth be told, his reputation was a little exaggerated.

"Men," Don Karnage announced, "I have been thinking. As often happens when I am thinking, I have conjured a multitudery of great ideas! Most of all, I am tiring of the waiting around and the not being near or raiding Cape Suzette. That city has been out of my reachings for far too long! And so, as your captain, I have decided that once we escape this hotel, we attack Cape Suzette and finally take what it is we have been wanting!"

"That sounds nice," Camille admitted. "But how the fuck are we going to do it?"

"Yeah, what's the plan?" Mad Dog asked.

"That is the thing," Don Karnage responded. "I have decided we are going to be doing it, but I have not decided exactly the how of our going to be doing it. As lowly crewmates, that will be YOUR job!"

Both Dump Truck and Mad Dog groaned as Camille facepalmed. So Karnage had come up with basically an impossible goal and expected them to connect Point A to Point B.

"Well?" Karnage beckoned with both hands. "Start with the planning already! We are not having all night! Only until it is day!"

"So, why do you hate this Vic person?" Drakus said, as Camille yelped as she spun around.

"What the fuck?!" Camille snapped.

"You know, it was the Greeks who started the whole 'test stuff on animals' trend. Fourth century BCE, with pigs and goats." Drakus explained. "You know how many animals are used for testing in a year? More than a hundred million. Human beings... doing this to so many other species. It's impressive." He then chuckled. "Plus, medical research on chimpanzees was pretty much banned in 2015. I mean, they said exceptions could be made if the research was proven to be critical to understanding human disease. And if a sizable donation was made to support the conservation of wild chimps. So, that might mean that dear old daddy is a force of nature, isn't he?"

"I'm gonna need you to tell me who the fuck you think you are." Camille snapped, her white hair frazzled by this.

"Why do you hate this Vic person?" Drakus asked again. "I mean, on paper, you could be allies. The bastard kids of the Usher family, from what I've heard. What an alliance you could have made."

"Okay, whoever you are, you are so fucking fired." Camille snarled, as Akira was staring at her, a blush on her face. "Okay, what the fuck just happened?" she asked, confused.

"It means you're now part of Akira's harem! Congratulations!" Mozu cheered, glomping the even more bewildered and flustered young spin doctor, as she blushed at the sudden affection.

"Scratch that, I'm gonna have you dumbasses killed!" Camille snapped as Mozu kept hugging her, causing Akira to turn even redder as Camille squirmed underneath Mozu's hug.

"So, there's something worse than just unethical tests, and yes, it involves occult science to summon what's essentially the Ender Dragon but with even less scruples, and a whole lot more megalomania." Drakus said, as Camille facepalmed.

"Fuck it." Camille said, throwing her hands up. "I've been through dumber shit, might as well see where this goes."

"Careful you don't get grabbed by the ghoulies!" Bubby added.

"What is all of this?" Karnage asked no one in particular. "Weirdness and strangeness is what it is!"

"Ah, Captain Karnage!" Roman jogged up to him, putting out a hand.

"Is DON Karnage," Karnage corrected.

"Don?" Roman repeated. "Really? I thought you were a pirate captain. I didn't think you did landlocked organized crime."

"I am both don AND captain," Karnage specified, "but 'Don' sounds better, yesno? Is more intimidating. 'Captain' sounds like I could be driving a military vehicle designed to stop pirates like my own self."

At this point, Snatcher found himself trying to piece together what accent Karnage had, exactly. European for sure. In the end, he resolved Karnage must've hailed from a nation directly neighboring the fictional one he'd conjured for Madame Frou Frou's origin.

"Well, I'm Roman Torchwick," Roman said as Karnage took his hand and shook it. "You could think of me as a pirate captain in my own way. Except instead of overtaking airships or boats, I controlled small forces of underground crime in a landlocked metropolis."

"Is sounding more like a don than a pirate captain," Karnage remarked.

"Yeah, isn't that weird?" Roman replied, letting go of his hand. "Anyway, I have an offer for you lovely gentlemen. Word on the street is you've been on a bit of a losing streak."

"Any word about me is in the skies, not on the streets," Karnage corrected. "But…mmm, yes, is maybe SOMEWHAT correct."

"We haven't looted anything good in months, and are currently locked here with no way out!" Mad Dog yelled.

"BE SILENT!" Karnage yelled at him. "Ahem. Mr. Wick of Torches, what exactly is this offer you are being offering?"

"Right down to business," Roman said with a grin. "My crew here and I are in the mist of a heist-slash-rescue-mission. Focus on the 'heist' part. Also, please tell me I don't have to explain the cosmology to you."

"I am hearing all about peculiar children and their enormous house keys," Karnage replied. "I am knowing of these other worlds. Perhaps is more luck to be had in piracy there…"

"My thoughts exactly!" Roman replied. "But the thing is, you need insurance that we're the real deal, and we don't just wanna pass through here without seeing some of the sights, if you know what I mean. So is there anything, anything at all, you've had your eye on? Something we might be able to make happen? Because, trust me, we can make it happen, or your money back."

"Anything, you say?" Karnage replied. "I, the great Don Karnage, was only JUST reminiscing – or was it ruminating? – on the fact that we have yet to have raided the obscenely wealthy city of Cape Suzette! For reasons I am not knowing, every time we make attempting, we are expected well in advance."

In the next instant, our young heroes-to-be Baxbtieatm, Cinadexc, Nansemix, Exlsgeil and Ottoxltil all appeared on top of Akira.

"Hey! What the hell?" Cinadexc shouted. "Who are you people? Where are we?"

"My name is Drakus Hydrax, prince of Drakonia," Drakus said, approaching them with a grin. "And you five have probably been selected to be part of a superhero squadron!"

"Like hell!" Baxbtieatm shouted. "Send us back right now! I have a date with Gigi in ten minutes!"

"But the omniverse is in danger. We need your help!" Coomer added.

"My date is in danger, you perverted looking old man!" Baxbtieatm snapped, jabbing her index finger in his general direction.

"I'm actually twenty three millenia old." Coomer added, as everyone looked at Cooner in shock.

"All right, good to know..." Cell said, as he quickly noted not to mess with this probably immortal man.

Nadohs flew over to the girls. "I'll handle this," he said.

"Who's the bot?" Candice sneered.

"My name's not important to you right now, little lady," Nadohs said. "What is important," she said holding up a small box of rings and extending them in the quintet's general direction, "is that you put on these rings and put them to good use."

"Why the hell should we do that?" Baxbtieatm asked.

"Because if you don't you'll never make it to your date on time," Mystle suggested.

"Ooooh, you drive a hard bargain," Baxbtieatm responded, "but now." She folded her arms and closed her eyes. "Send us back. We're not interested. Right girls?" The others nodded their heads, as Bambietta was the unofficial leader of her small dysfunctional group of friends, so she tended to speak for them collectively. Does this sound like an overly convenient info dump to you? Well, that's because it is!

"Oh well, that's a shame, because aside from the magic transformation rings," Nadohs said. "You girls won't get all the donuts you can eat."

While the prospect of saving tens of thousands of lives, making a real difference, and being admired heroes had no appeal whatsoever to our five psychopaths-

"Hey! Shut the fuck up! None of us have been diagnosed by a psychiatrist, and claiming we're psychopaths is defamation! I'll fucking sue you, you piece of shit narrator!" Cinadexc snapped.

-ahem, dashing rogues, the notion of free sweets moved something at the core of their hearts. Man or woman, nobody can resist empty calories with a sugary taste, even from complete strangers trying to make shady business deals.

Ottoxltil and Daphne started drooling. "Donuts…"

Baxbtieatm opened one eye. "What kind of Donuts?"

"Filled. Creamy. Glazed. Whatever kind you want, as many as you want. I have a donut machine in Sinner's Lane. Cost a fortune to get, but totally worth it."

"Well then," Baxbtieatm said with a devilish grin, "I believe we'll need to retract our earlier stance." Without a word, each girl grabbed a ring from the box and slipped them on. "So how the hell do these crackerjack prizes work?"

"Just say the color of the ring and what's inscribed on the band and presto! Instant transformation!" Nadohs said.

Grinning at each other, each teen gave their new power a try, starting with Baxbtieatm. "Red—"

"Wait!" Nadohs declared. "You also have to strike a cool pose and do a whole transformation sequence."

"Why?" Baxbtieatm asked.

"It's how you start it up."

Bambietta sighed. "Ugh, fine." She extended her arm out in front of her. "Red Cobra!" she shouted.

"Yellow Wolf!" Candice cried out, crossing her arm over her body, bringing her hand by her face and tipping down her baseball cap ever so slightly with the other hand.

"Blue Pelican!" Liltotto declared, tilting her wrist so that her hand pointed down.

"Pink Shark!" Meninas exclaimed, happily thrusting her arm that didn't have the ring on it high into the air, while holding the other hand close to her chin.

"Black Wyvern!" Giselle hissed, rubbing her hand devilishly under her chin with a sinister grin.

Instantly the clothes on each girl vaporized instantaneously and they were coated in light the same color as their rings as new clothes appeared on them. Each uniform consisted of a peaked cap with a color that matched the ring and had an insignia of the animal each girl's ring represented.

For Exlsgeil, her uniforms had a coat so bulky her wrists were hidden by the sleeves, with jeans and sneakers. Ottoxltil's was similar, but she had a short sleeved t-shirt instead of the bulky coat. She also had a bangle on her right wrist. The color of the clothing matched both girls' respective rings. However, Baxbtieatm was in a full blown soldier outfit, complete with a camo jacket, hammer pants, and combat boots, Nansemix was in a full blown outfit fitting for a samurai or a weeaboo, and Cinadexc was sporting a cropped tube top, a pair of civvies, wrist length gloves and high heels. Everything except the gloves matched their rings. The gloves were white.

"What the fuck, chief?!" Drakus shouted, grabbing the camera and shaking it.

"What's the matter? They look fashionable," Nadohs complimented.

"Fashionable, nothing! I look like a whore!" Cinadexc raged. "Seriously? How is anyone expected to fight in high heels, you pervert?"

"Bambi-chan looks so amazing," Exlsgeil cooed. "Aahh, I'm getting wet."

I would like to clarify, for the record, that I do not think lesbianism an/or bisexuality is a bad thing, nor something that should generally be associated with delinquents, violence, or criminals, and also feels so inclined as to do this because, for some reason, either due to sheer coincidence or the incorrect belief that Giselle shouldn't date Bambietta due to fear of supporting actual abusers, instances of Bambietta/Giselle (or, as we like to call it, ZomBombs) is something of a nonentity in the Bleach fandom. The first person to dig up nine stories that even importantly mention that they're dating (that doesn't involve porn and isn't just a drabble) will win a free sandwich of their choice at participating Subway restaurants.

Search your feelings; you know it to be true. Except for the part where I'm buying Subway. No seriously, my ass is broke as hell!

"Would you kindly get on with things, Drako?" Zone glanced up from her magazine, cutting in from the other side of the fourth wall.

"Pssht, no need to be a sissy about it," Exlsgeil scoffed. "What's the matter afraid of a little lawsuit? I can take care of that for you."

It's fine! Thank you!

"Honestly it's not that bad," Nansemix said, groping her bust.

"Can it, you soft-spoken sadist!" Cinadexc continued to rage.

"Well it's not like you'll be doing much running, really," Nadohs said. "You all can fly while transformed."

"Ooohh," Cinadexc said, tilting her head back, "That totally makes up for everything! NO IT DOESN'T!" She pointed at her ring. "Change my outfit now, or I'll cause a bigger flame war than your shitty company can handle!"

"You don't look that bad, Candi-chan," Baxbtieatm chuckled. "Besides, think of what the boys will say when they see us."

"They'll think we're starving for attention," Candice grumbled putting her hands in her pockets. "Although," her mind drifted towards one boy in particular. His name was Grimmjow Jaegerjaques. He was a college student and a badass biker and part of a garage band. Even though he was aromantic asexual, had a history of drug dealing, assault, battery and suspected murder, and used guyliner. He also had amazing artistic skills, is pretty sweet once you get to know him, has nice abs, sticks up for his homies, and is rather fond of the occasional obscure brick of a Russian novel, and that was enough to convince Candice that secretly Grimmjow was a soul who just needed a friend to bring out his sweet side. "I wonder if Grimmjow-senpai would like my look."

"Haaaah… y'know…" Ryuko started, sighing heavily as she slouched across from Shitori Sona- or, rather, Sona Sitri, heiress of House Sitri.

"I really thought this was it, y'know?" Ryuko mumbled, continuing on as if she hadn't just heard Sona's entire song and dance about recruiting her. She raised her leg carelessly, leaning her elbow against her knee and running her hand through her hair as she gave Sona an utterly unimpressed stare. "Y'know, I thought we'd finally get to go on vacation, make some friends, just chill. No Deadlight, no thugs, no bosozoku bullshit, no murders, no attempts on my life, no grand conspiracies, no stupidly weird superpowers coming out of the woodworks, no big threats, no one trying to beat the shit outta me and the squad while we're trying to actually relax… and yet here we are now."

Her tired glare bored into the suddenly terrified demon's eyes, pinning her with the weight of her willpower as she began to shine crimson out of sheer annoyance- not the glow from her hair as she powered up, but rather that brilliant spotlight glow that she knew damn well was part of her cursed Kiryuuin heritage.

Fuck that heritage, the only good thing to come out of the Kiryuuin family was Satsūki. Ryuko was a Matoi, as fake as that name was.

"Here I am, meeting yet another weirdly powerful student council president that got stuck here on a field trip, learning that there's more to the world than anyone knows, dancing around with superpowered teenagers, and just the other night we had to turn a rapey, murderous Exorcist from the actual literal Catholic Church into fucking diced ham and gore and watched as he got sent to literal Tartarus because he had a grudge against everything he deemed a monster, and had no reservations about trying to rape someone in front of a potential and actual murder victim."

She paused, sighing heavily again as she just went limp in that chair, as Karnage looked at the squad as if to ask if this was true, as Mystle nodded with no shame at all.

"It's been a long day." Drakus continued. "We don't give a rat's ass that you found out who we are through the news and whatever weird magic you used to figure out that some of us are not human. We're only helping with the Occult Research Club because they're trying to help someone we're trying to help. And before you ask, Ryu's already in a lesbian as hell polycule, and we're not in the mood to find out that there are even more demon wizards with an exhibitionist kink in this hotel, and we really are not in the mood to take orders from someone we just met. So, respectfully, you can take your Peerage offer and stuff it up the ass. we'll help out if people are in trouble, but some of us actually prefer not to become tied to Uncle Satan."

The glasses wearing devil nodded slowly, clearing her throat very, very awkwardly and trying not to look too terrified by the X-Squad's suddenly looming presence that bore down on the entire room like a physical weight. Ryuko didn't really like impressing the sheer weight of her willpower and presence on the world because if she encountered even the slightest bit of resistance things tended to explode (twice. Sometimes three times or more if she was up against the Elite Four. Her record so far with a willpower clash was six explosions in a row, caused by her and Satsūki having a nearly physical disagreement over which was better- Nutella or Peanut Butter).

For the record, Ryuko maintained that Nutella was the superior spread because chocolate and hazelnut were the best fucking thing in the world. No shade against peanut butter, but… c'mon.

"I… see. I apologize for the inconvenience, then," Sona murmured, bowing her head lightly before straightening up. "My Peerage and I will leave you alone, then. Would you be at least amenable to aiding in certain events and incidents should they require an… outside perspective?"

Kanade shrugged. "If it's to keep people from getting hurt, fine. Don't quote me on that, it's a case by case thing."

"Of course, Otonokoji-san. As it were… aside from my perhaps ill-timed attempt to convince you to join my Peerage instead of Rias'... what were you doing with the Occult Research Club anyway?" Sona asked after a moment, folding her fingers together slowly and pinning Ryuko with a searching gaze. The other members of her Peerage seemed rather uneasy, taking up spots around the room that seemed to either be in order to either counterattack in the event of sudden hostilities, or to jump out the windows should things come to that. Ryuko would have found it threatening if she hadn't had to deal with… literally everything at Honnouji, honestly. After getting a half decent feel of what the power level was like around her… well. She was pretty confident in saying that there probably wasn't much in Kuoh that could hurt her… well. Not in any lasting manner, at least.

"Eh, some kinda situation involving Fallen Angels or something? Not really sure what's going on, just that we're both trying to help this nun girl find a place to stay that isn't a bunch of weirdos who'd hire some kinda scumfuck like…that Freed Sellzen manwhore." Ryuko paused, her eyes going crimson. "Anyone that puts a sweet girl like Asia with a scumfuck like that Exorcist guy is definitely not someone I want hanging around in an old abandoned church. Sooo yeah. If the ORC finds anything bad or those Fallen Angels reveal that they're planning something shitty, we'll bust some heads and make 'em regret fuckin' with us and our friends."

"... I see. I commend your bravery for that…" Sona paused, looking to the side for a moment before shaking her head. "Ahem. You're free to go, then. Thank you for your time, Matoi-san. I hope our talk today has not soured your opinion of us."

"Mhmm. Long as you don't start makin' speeches at me like my sister, ain't no problems here." Ryuko snorted, standing up from the couch and stretching a little as she made her way over to the doors, hearing her joints audibly crack and protest the sudden movement. She paused near the door, then shrugged and idly picked up a napkin and stole a few cookies for the road, just because she could. What were they gonna do, say she couldn't have some of the snacks they seemed to have laid out for anyone to take?

Ha. She dared them to try.

Actually, no she didn't because Ryuko wasn't a huge bitch. But still. She wanted cookies dammit. It wasn't like she wouldn't put them back if they asked but… c'mon. She was already having a stressful day realizing that she'd literally got thrown into an otherworldly supernatural superpowered conspiracy thing and now everything seemed to be going swiftly downhill.

"... God, I know you're real and I have no idea if you're listening or not, but I swear to fuck if we end up trapped in an 80s realm because some fuckshit happens, I'm gonna be so fucking pissed," Ryuko hissed, glaring up at the ceiling blankly as she clenched her fists and stormed through the school building, avoiding everyone that came near her because the normal people of the Academy really didn't deserve the shit that her fuckawful luck and weird-ass life brought to her doorstep. "And I swear to fuck, if I ever have to deal with mutant bugs trying to destroy the omniverse, I'm gonna send them back to hell as a fucking pile of embers in a fucking matchbox."

Nothing in particular happened in those next few moments, and Ryuko just sighed as she slumped against a wall and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Ugh. Now I'm just making threats at empty air. Fuck's sake… I swear, if I end up getting sucked into stupid supernatural bullshit, I'm gonna have to figure out how Nui did that stupid french named cloning trick she pulled on everyone," Ryuko mumbled, glaring out of the window before she blinked and flexed her fist, wondering just why the phrase Mon-Mignon Prêt-à-Porter just popped into her head.

Was… that what her dumb cloning bullshit was called?

Gods, Ryuko hoped that she could actually tell her clones to do her homework for her. That'd be rad. Ah, shit but that also meant that if they were smart enough to do her homework there was the risk of them getting pissed at her for making clones solely to do the boring shit she didn't like doing. Like homework. Or grocery shopping.

Probably not cooking? Ryuko didn't think her clones'd get mad about cooking. She liked cooking… even if she wasn't amazing at it… and even if she didn't really do it as much as she probably should have in the last month and some days that she'd been with the X-Squad.

Hm.

So… how did that technique go again?

It wasn't like she didn't have time to kill while waiting for Issei to call her for something important. Fuck, she hoped he'd actually call. If the Occult Research Club got into some shit way over their heads then Ryuko wanted to be there to actually help instead of just sitting on the sidelines like an idiot.

Hmm…

Okay so…

Stitch that thread and that thread like that, then tug the fibers like so… and then weave it into the fabric pattern like that… gods, she really hoped the base doll things didn't have to be pink… and then like that… and that… and that and that… and then…

"Now who the hell are you?" A demon said, his voice booming and demonic. His torso was white, while his head and from the waist down was red. He had four irregular horn-like protrusions; two large ones coming out of its head and two smaller ones on his chin, and some spikes on the top of his head. He then sniffed the air. "The smell of this angel girl's magic, it reminds me of the Seven Deadly Sins' Lion Sin of Pride, Escanor."

"And the magic from that boy is seemingly blending light and dark together. It's exactly like Meliodas the Dragon Sin and the daughter of the Supreme Deity, that woman, Elizabeth." A young woman with long, black hair said, her voice soft and almost melodic, dressed in a pink and white leotard with black spots, and a black bow tie. Additionally, she was barefoot.

"Oh hey, you're back," Ryuko looked up as Rias appeared beside Kanade with her signature flash of crimson magic, her and Akeno settling down on one of the couches in a tired slump. "No luck out there?"

"None whatsoever. Those pesky Fallen Angels sure are good at hiding their presence- even infiltrating the church itself yielded no results beyond an intense holy presence…" Rias sighed, rubbing her forehead and settling back while Akeno went off and busied herself doing… whatever it was she always did. Make tea or something? For being Rias' queen and possibly girlfriend (No one on the X-Squad were actually quite sure what the relationship in the Peerage was, honestly), Akeno sure liked acting like a maid. "Mou… how annoying."

"I didn't get hired for a gooping, Miss Gremory!" Coomer added.

"Well, as long as Asia's still safe I guess. Where is she anyway?" Ryuko asked, making a show of looking around while she worked with a bit of her own fibers- not really doing anything with it, just weaving it into half remembered patterns from long defeated enemies. Really, she wasn't even entirely sure how many uniforms she should know how to make the patterns from in the first place, considering that her Sen-I-Soshitsu strike shredded the uniform and absorbed the fibers wholesale but… well.

It seemed to be working, if nothing else.

She also actually knew how to play tennis now, oddly enough. What a weird way to remember that Hakodate Omiko was a person that existed.

"As for those two, we'd definitley kick their ass." Roman remarked, as the swole demon chuckled.

"Did that brat really just say they'd kick our asses?" The demon remarked. "You remind me of Escanor, see? Despite being human, he challenged us, the Ten Commandments of the demon race, and..." He stopped and realized something. "That can't be right...I'm a servant of Chaos who serves the King of Chaos...I am Chaos...Galand..." He then started screaming to the heavens. "No! I am Galand of Truth, one of the Ten Commandments who serves the Demon King. I'm a warrior!"

"And lemme guess, that makes her Melascula, the Faith?" Mera remarked.

"I'm one of the demon race? That's ridiculous." Melascula said, only to start clutching her head. "Ten Commandments? The... Faith?"

"Erm, did we break them?" Mystle said.

"She's still with Issei at the moment. I've taken steps to allow her enrollment into Kuoh Academy once all this blows over. I do thank you for saving her, though… her Twilight Healing is truly something," Rias nodded slowly, then tilted her head at the squad with a bit of an odd smile. "That said… while our investigation is at somewhat of a standstill with the Fallen Angels going into hiding, I think it's time that I reveal to you your duties for the Occult Research Club, should you choose to become a member."

Ryuko blinked, stopping her hand motions and leaving her fibers tangled around her fingers in a weird parody of a cat's cradle. "... Wait, we have club duties? Since when? Fuck, you're not gonna make us fight a bunch of random club presidents at all hours of the day are you, because I still remember being part of Fight Club last year and I'm pretty sure I still have Mako's name bruised into my left asscheek."

"...And why is that?" Galand blinked, looking incredibly confused at the lack of context.

Ryuko shrugged. "... It's a long story. And a really annoying one. And I still haven't decked my sister in the face for being the one responsible for setting all that shit up."

"... Everything you bring up about Honnouji only seems to make it more and more… how shall I put this…" Iggy tapped his chin awkwardly. "... Insane. Everything you say about Honnouji Academy sounds absolutely insane."

"Well, you absolutely don't know the half of it," Ryuko chuckled lightly, shaking her head as she reminisced about the utter bullshit that had happened at Honnouji.

Especially during No Tardy Day. What the fuck man?

Hm.

She kinda hoped Maiko made it out of that entire situation okay. She never did see the freaky girl again. Hadn't Gamagoori expelled her? Maa, whatever.

"Ah- yes. While normally I would have members of my Peerage do such things, as we are Devils of House Gremory, I've decided that one of your club duties will be to take over the distribution of flyers and advertisements for our services as Devils. You, of course, are exempt from signing contracts with other humans due to not being part of my Peerage or a Devil at all, but since you did officially sign onto the Occult Research Club… well. Every member of a Club has a duty to fulfill, and the school board doesn't want any members of any club just laying about doing nothing," Rias answered with a light shrug, summoning a messenger bag to her hands and holding it out for Mystle. "You don't need to hand out all of the flyers today, but it would be appreciated if you could at least put up a few posters in shop windows."

"Ah… huh. Even with the whole Devil thing going on, this is still the most normal school club experience I've ever been part of. Hell, the last interaction I ever had with Honnouji's clubs, we were all teaming up to save the world from a bitch who wanted to blow it up out of sheer devotion to a giant ball of murder yarn," Ryuko snorted, rolling her eyes a little as she took the bag and slung it over her shoulders.

Several feet away, there was a dining cart blocking a door. Luigi realized that it was the reason why he couldn't access the east half of the Mezzanine. Various tools and food items were scattered on the carpet, including a piece of Emmental cheese that Biscuit was sniffing. He happily grabbed it with his mouth and ran off to the room up north.

"The last thing I want Biscuit to do is to eat something from the floor. He already dug through trash beforehand," Dove sighed.

"Come on. Let's follow him," Neo remarked, as she went after him.

Ignoring the other rooms, they went straight to the golden doors with the insignia of a fork and spoon. Pushing through, they entered the Restaurant with a check-in area and the dining tables to their right. Biscuit was waiting nearby the coat rack. Crumbs of cheese were left in front of him as the aroma stunk up the place. But that wasn't the only food that smelled.

"Hmm... Fancy. Even in a haunted hotel, this looks chic," Roman examined.

"Aww, Biscuit. Don't tell me you ate that cheese."

The ghost dog couldn't help himself, and he replied with an enthusiastic bark. He turned around and went over to the long counter in the back. There was a variety of foods on display, except they weren't fake; everything was baked fresh. Biscuit headed over to a basket of warm baguettes. He climbed on top and grabbed one from the pile. The dog went further down, passing a large plate of lobster, assorted fruits, more cheese, and delectable pies.

However, just before he was about to pass through the next wall, he paused when he spotted something to his right. The squad turned to see what he found. To their surprise, someone was sitting at a table in the back corner, and Yuina's eyes sparkled.

"It's Kamen Rider Zephyr, one of the best members of the Rider Collective! Battling the Faze Empire from beyond the Milky Way!"

"Whoa, whoa, talking now, autographs later, kid," Konoe said, waving his hands defensively, "Man, didn't know the newest Fangire Rider was a hero fangirl in her own right."

"We heard your speech earlier," Ren said, "Do you really think it's possible for an AI to always make the best decisions for people?"

"Well, it can certainly try," Konoe said, "But even the most advanced AI can be hampered by human emotion. The only difference is, an AI's mind is pure data, so it can process the emotions faster and make decisions at a much quicker pace than a human mind could. Well, unless that human had a Quirk that could make them think faster."

He then noticed Drakus' belt and his eyes went wide.

"That was remade? It hasn't seen use since the early 2020s. How could it...? Ah, that doesn't matter. Anyway, we're here to talk about the bootleg EMMA, right? Actually, there is one person I know of who could make one. The original creator."

The team was shocked.

"But I thought that was your company," Akechi said.

Konoe shook his head.

"Maddice only refined EMMA and fixed a fatal flaw in its algorithm. In truth, we legally bought EMMA from a talented programmer, one Kuon Ichinose."

"Dude, that's the lady from the beef tongue restaurant," Ryuji realized, "She created EMMA? And then sold it off?"

"She only created EMMA as a concept," Konoe explained, "But I saw way more potential in it. I gave her a fair price, and she accepted. We even have the paperwork still intact. I made sure each of us got three copies just in case, though she asked for way more since she's a little scatterbrained. Pretty sure she had three...hundred...ish."

"Even I'm not that absentminded," Futaba muttered.

"So what was this flaw you corrected in EMMA?" Makoto asked.

"Well as far as the base goes it was pretty solid," Konoe admitted, "The problem was, the algorithm couldn't quantify or process human emotions. A fatal mistake given how even lesser AI are capable of that in this day and age. Once we corrected that flaw, EMMA became much more personable, and able to figure out philosophical problems in addition to logic problems. Of course, the more I got to know Ichinose... The more I realized why she made that mistake in the first place."

"Why's that?" Neo asked.

"For whatever reason, Ichinose has a hard time processing emotions herself," Konoe explained, "I couldn't say for sure why. Maybe she's sociopathic, maybe it's a side-effect of her Quirk, she may even have been emotionally stunted as a kid. The point is, she focuses more on the technical side of things. If someone approached her to make this bootleg that could create Underworld and change people's hearts, she'd do it... Just to prove that she could."

"No emotions?" Ann asked, "Could've fooled me. She seemed to have way too many emotions back at the beef tongue place. Then again... They were rather exaggerated... Like how a toddler might think emotions work."

"Come to think of it," Sumire said, "Konoe, you know a lot about EMMA, right? We found some odd junk parts that we couldn't find buyers for. Maybe your research team can use them to find more information about the Underworlds."

"Huh, worth a shot," Konoe agreed, "I'll let you know what I might need."

The team headed off as Konoe thought to himself.

"I'll need to double check... But I do recall the Hydrax family being associates with the Hiden bloodline..."

The squad soon saw an obese ghost with purple skin and a red sweater. He was in the middle of a huge buffet – currently devouring a dish of savory barbecue ribs – that he didn't even notice the ghost hunters.

"That's Mr. Luggs!" Dove whispered.

"Yeesh, he's eating like a pig. He doesn't even have any table manners!" Preme scowled.

Biscuit quickly hid underneath a table when he saw a Goob, a Greenie, and two Waiter ghosts carrying some more food to the ravenous ghost.

"More! More, I tell you! I'm not certainly full yet! In fact, I'm never satisfied! Give me every item on the menu, for crying out loud!" Mr. Luggs ordered.

The ghosts placed the dishes down and hurried back to the Kitchen to grab him more stuff. But at this rate, he was going to devour everything in stock. Mr. Luggs was so hungry that he was tempted to gobble up the table itself!

"Do you think we can sneak past him?" Inkerton murmured as they tiptoed near the back table.

"Maybe. Just as long as we're quiet that we don't knock over any- OH!"

As soon as Luigi said that, Ridley accidentally pushed a bottle of olive oil with his head. As it started to topple, he panicked and tried to save it from falling. But it slipped away and crashed onto the floor, creating a large spill.

"Crap."

Mr. Luggs was startled when he heard glass breaking. He usually gets ticked whenever people disturbed his feast. Narrowing his small, yellow eyes, he faced the culprit. The large ghost was surprised to see such a familiar face again.

"Bloody Dove?! What are you doing here?! Are you trying to bother me from my dinner?!" Barbecue sauce flew off of his dirty lips.

Luigi began to stutter. "No, no, no! We just... We were gonna... You see, we-"

"This is the second time you ruined my sixteen-course meal! All I want is to eat in peace!" he slammed his fists, causing the other plates to bounce. "Yet again, you're disturbing my beautiful moment!"

"Hey, back off, glutton mouth!" Kanade stepped in. "Maybe you should slow your roll because if you're gonna gag, none of us can give you the Heimlich maneuver!"

"In case you're blind, I'm eating over here! Waiters! I demand assistance!" Mr. Luggs grunted.

Everyone came rushing out to the dining room, wondering why their bloated guest was livid.

"You see those ridiculous goons?! They interrupted my buffet! I want them out of here! Gone! Banished! Whatever! Just get them out of my sight!"

"Pfft! You act like you're a VIP for this resort! At least Drakus was given an invitation as a VIP, and he actually has manners, crass as they are, where he doesn't stuff food in his face!" Taeko remarked.

"Oh, what's gonna happen to me? Am I gonna blow up?" he taunted as he slid a whole burger down his gullet.

"No, it's worse. It's just gonna go right to your thighs. You could blow up, but you're already dead – on the inside and outside," Camille retorted.

"So, can we catch them already?" Gordon asked, wanting this awkward confrontation to end.

"Oh, right."

"Get them out of here, I say!" Mr. Luggs insisted.

"Guns out, gang!" Gordon yelled, shooting at the ghosts and cyborgs heading towards them.

"On it!" Candice said, suddenly forming lightning in the palm of her hand. She then stared at the lightning. "Oh, hey check it out!"

"Each one of you has a unique power that will help you—" Nadohs started.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't need to drill it all home," Candice said. "I think we got it."

"Good!" Nadohs shouted. "Cause from now on you're going to be called the Mahou Shoujo Niji Tenshi!"

"Sounds like the name of a really dumb anime," Liltotto said.

"Or a bad fanfiction," Giselle added. Everyone in the room looked at the narrator.

…What?

"Yeah, the name sucks," Candice said. "From now on we're called the Honey Badgers, because we don't give a fuck! All in favor?"

"Aye!" The others cheered.

BGM: Hip to Be Scared (Ice Nine Kills)

As the ghosts tried to corner the squad against the table, the lonely Goob grabbed a pie, threatening to smash it into one of their faces. The Greenie took a fresh baguette, swinging it around like a baseball bat. The Waiters, ignoring their hospitable service, grabbed some empty plates and wielded them in their hands. They simultaneously tossed them like frisbees, as the squad narrowly evaded them. The china shattered as they hit the wall. Mr. Luggs remained seated as he watched the show unfold.

Drakus slammed a burst of lightning near the Goob, making him drop the pie. After stunning him, Furina sucked the mischievous entity into the Z-00's vacuum and hastily slammed him into the other tables. Luigi effectively knocked the first Waiter to trap him as well. Meanwhile, Neo ran over to the other side where the Greenie and the second Waiter were. Hauling the long loaf of bread out of the former's hands, Neo spin kicked the Greenie into the Z-00, as Ombra chokeslammed the Waiter who hid in the cheese pile. Before the large glutton could react, he unexpectedly saw Biscuit leap on top of his table, grabbing a boneless chicken and gulping it entirely. He even gave him a playful lick, which he did not enjoy.

"Gah! Stupid dog!" Mr. Luggs banged his fists again. "My food's ruined even more!"

"Looks like feeding time is over, Tubby!" the dog remarked, as Chris dropkicked him into Furina's cross hairs.

"You think you're so smart, huh? Well, nobody calls me 'Tubby'! Take this!"

"Yikes!" Luigi saw a fireball fly out of his mouth, and ducked beneath a table, nearly getting burned.

"Geez! When did this guy turn into me?!" Bowser yelled at Dove.

"Don't ask me how he can do it! Just keep running until he fatigues himself!"

"Not unless I burn you to a crisp first! I think I'm craving roast plumber!" Mr. Luggs aimed at the man repeatedly.

"D'oh!" Luigi yelped as he nearly tripped on some silverware. Biscuit's barks kept irking the massive phantom, so he directed the fireballs at the Polterpup, too. Luckily, he turned invisible to avoid the sweltering projectiles.

Unlike the workout the humans were getting, Mr. Luggs was lazily stuck in the corner spot until he started wheezing heavily. Once Furina realized he was at his weakest, she shined the Strobulb at Mr. Luggs, and, with Dove's help, somehow pulled him out of his seat.

"ARGH! Let me... finish... MY FOOD!" he snarled while struggling to escape.

"C'mon, Furina! We almost have him!" Dove initiated a double slam with her.

"Urgh! He's ten times heavier than Petunia! Did he down some wonton soup or something?" Furina snarked.

"GAH! If you don't let me finish my other courses, I'll hunt you down until I eat you whole!"

"How about you eat dust?!" Dove remarked before they performed one last slam. It took a couple of seconds before Mr. Luggs' entire body barely squeezed inside the Z-00.

END BGM

"My God... I'm just gonna say that he was the worst ghost to slam," Furina huffed.

"Yeah. He was pretty hard to suck up with the 3000, too. But at least everything's clear."

Just when they were about to head towards the elevator, they heard some faint clacking sounds coming from the Entertainment Room. They glanced at one another before shrugging away from the thought. Suddenly, they heard a few bangs from inside the room.

"What was that?" Luigi blinked.

"I have no clue. Do you think we should check inside?" Furina asked.

"As much as I don't want to, I think we better see for ourselves."

"I'll be right beside. Biscuit's here, too."

"Yessir!"

As Furina took a deep breath, she slowly opened the door, their first guess was that some ghosts were playing billiards. To their surprise, however, a special Portrait Ghost was holding a pool stick, aiming at the cue ball.

It was a man with teal skin, yellow eyes, and purple hair. His attire consisted of a gray sweater vest with a white shirt underneath.

"Drat! What's wrong with my aim lately?!" the spectral player grumbled.

Dove quietly gasped. "That's another ghost from the old mansion!"

"Who's that?" Furina peeked from behind the door.

"Slim Bankshot. He's a competitive pool player from what grandpa told me."

The ghost went around the other side of the table and tried to hit a different ball into a pocket. He carefully lined up the shot, took his aim, and-

*CLACK*

He watched a yellow-striped ball ricochet off another with a blue-striped one. The second pool ball barely missed the corner pocket as it hit the wall and rolled a few inches away. Groaning from another missed attempt, Slim approached from a different spot and hit the cue ball towards the blue-striped ball. Unfortunately, it didn't move at the angle he expected. While the blue-striped ball rebounded off the adjacent wall, the cue ball accidentally landed into the pocket.

"Come on! That was not supposed to happen! Are these balls rigged to miss the pockets every time I hit them?!" Slim raged, tossing his stick onto the table. Furina softly yelped when he heard the sudden slam. The ghost turned towards the sound. "Who's there?"

The Archon was about to shut the door, but Bankshot quickly floated over to the entrance. He caught the heroes spying on him.

"What are you doing here?! Can't you see I'm busy?"

Furina started trembling as her knees couldn't stop moving.

"We're but housekeeping maids, here to clean each and every room so this hotel stays tidy and clean, especially for people like you, billiards player." Ombra replied.

"Hmm, I prefer to use the term, 'pool'. But if that's the case, then go right ahead. But do not distract me from my game!"

"No problem," he watched Slim return to the table before chuckling. "I can't believe he fell for that. Come now. Let's wait for the right moment to capture him."

"I-If you say so..."

The squad ambled past Bankshot without getting in his way. Dove and Furina pretended to suck up dust bunnies in the corners. Every now and then, they heard the clacking sounds of the pool balls. Although he struggled in the beginning, Slim's aim was improving, taking him back to when he became a dominating professional before his untimely demise. Since he became a ghost, he wasn't as skilled or accurate. But he had a place in his heart for the game he loved to play in his free time.

Eventually, Slim managed to sink all of the striped balls into the pockets. His next goal was to take care of the solids before the 8-ball. Suddenly, a Blue Twirler sneaked into the Entertainment Room and noticed Bankshot taking his aim. He silently chuckled to himself as he rubbed his hands. Creeping behind the pool player, he raised his fists in the air and slammed them to the ground. A shockwave threw Slim off balance while the pool balls flew in different directions. Furina reacted in time to catch one of them with the Poltergust Z-00.

"Son of a gun!" Slim shouted in frustration. He turned around to see the Blue Twirler guffawing. "What was that for?! If you weren't a ghost, I would whack you silly with my pool stick!"

The blue ghost ignored his comments and continued cackling.

"SHUT UP, YOU MONGREL!"

Dove ran over to Slim with the pool ball still in the hose. He pointed the nozzle at the teal spirit and bopped him in the head.

"Gah! Again?!" Bankshot rotated to face Dove. He scrutinized her clothing and the vacuum on her back. His yellow eyes narrowed. "Hey, wait a minute! You're not a housekeeping maid! You're Bloody Dove! Why I oughta-"

"Hey, Slim Jim! Catch this!" Mystle shouted from the other side of the room. She yeeted a solid green ball towards the ghost. Slim wasn't able to react in time as he got knocked in the head again.

When he was completely dazed, Dove shined her Strobulb and began sucking on Bankshot's tail. Biscuit rushed over to stop the Blue Twirler from interfering. He pounced the large ghost against the wall so that Furina could flash him with the light. She was successful as she fought the Twirler and slammed him once onto the pool table. Dove was still trying to get a hold of Slim as the ghost grabbed his pool stick and attempted to swing at hee. The ghost hunter ducked in time, but her grip came loose. Bankshot escaped the 5000 before Dove could slam him.

"I can't believe I got duped by you scoundrels! If I wasn't gullible, I would line up my cue ball right at your eyes and knock them out! D'oh!"

Furina shined her Strobulb during his rant. "Sorry, Bankshot. But I don't see you doing that!" After an arduous scuffle between her and the ghost, the Archon finished what Dove started by catching the tail and slamming him onto the floor until he was out of breath. Slim couldn't escape the hose, and he wound up in the Z-00.

Biscuit was about to rejoin the squad until he smelled something new. Except, the distinct odor wasn't very inviting. Sniffing around, he looked through a circular window of the door that led to the adjacent room. There was a large amount of smoke forming inside.

"Something's burning!"

"You think someone ruined a roast in the oven or something?" Draxulac quipped.

Luigi just shook his head. "I don't see an elevator button here, so we have to keep searching."

The squad slowly entered the Kitchen and was met with a massive smoke cloud. Luigi couldn't help but cough violently, and his eyes started to tear up. But he had a feeling someone was beyond the foggy barrier.

"NO! How is this still raw?!" an irate voice boomed.

"How can we see through this smoke?" Drakus wondered.

"I'm more worried about who said that," Luigi shivered.

"Why is the lamb sauce getting sucked to the depths of Hell?! Apparently, the people responsible for keeping stock are too incompetent to remember, the freakin' donkeys!"

Out of nowhere, a spoon was hurled towards Luigi, and it hit him square on the nose.

"Ow!" Luigi soon muttered a curse word in Italian.

"Are you alright?" Furina asked, concerned.

"Ugh, I will after the pain subdues," he rubbed his nose.

"Where's the lamb sauce?!" the voice roared. A ghostly shriek was the only reply.

"Everyone," Professor E. Gadd chimed in, "it looks like you'll need to vacuum up the smoke to clear the area! It's not safe if you try to move forward with that thick wall in the way. You'll need more than one person to handle this job!"

"If you say so. You good, Furina?"

"I heard him loud and clear! Let's go!"

They aimed their nozzles high in the air and sucked up the gigantic smoke storm. The Kitchen became clear, revealing a gold-skinned ghost with a chef's uniform, a ragged mustache, and a green aura surrounding him.

Soulfflé continued singing to himself as he grilled some fish on a pan. He held the pan toward his nose to take a sniff of his handy work before resuming his cooking. Then, he seemed to realize that he was no longer alone and raised his head to meet the squad's gazes.

"I'm sorry, sirs and madames," Soulfflé said, with a slight French accent, "but there are no guests allowed in the kitchen. So, what are you here for?"

"Baking a cake for 4 years," Neo snarked. "What does it look like we're doing?"

"Um... Excuse me, mister..." Luigi hesitated.

"The name is Chef Soulfflé, and you will address me by that name! I ask you again, what are you doing in my kitchen?"

"Isn't this technically Hellen Gravely's since she owns this hotel?"

"I wasn't speaking to you, madame! For the record, I'm the head chef here, so it's mine!"

"Rude," she scoffed.

"As for you, the scared-looking one in green, answer my question! Why are you here?!"

"U-Uh..."

"I don't have time to deal with people stammering. Either find the words to spit out of your mouth, or I'll force you to screw off out of here!"

"We're only looking for an elevator button!" Inkerton gave him a straightforward answer. "There, ye happy now?"

"I'll be ecstatic if you leave!"

Then, Chef Soulfflé grabbed a large pan of his own as a weapon.

BGM: Light It Up (Nine Lashes)

"Scatter!" Luigi cried out.

The chef spun around the stove as he chased the squad. Dove immediately stopped when she was surrounded by the Goobs. However, Furina was able to use a Suction Shot on the pan and destroy it with a Slam.

"Grr! You'll pay for that!" the chef growled as he started flinging slimy fish at his enemies. Dove tried to sneak near him and used her flashlight, but he blocked the light with a new pan. Furina looked around and saw several watermelons and pumpkins lying on the floor. In retaliation, she sucked up a pumpkin and shot it at the chef. After getting hit, Dove saw an open chance to flash him. Her sneakers slid against the tiled floor as she tried to drain more of his health. Luigi soon joined her to complete another double slam. The chef's lower half was stuck in the Poltergust Z-00.

"Yargh! You can't stop me! My restaurant boasts five-star service!" Soulfflé yelled as hd waved his pan around.

"And your attitude earns you a one in my review." Ottoxltil sneered.

Furina pressed the button on her vacuum to completely trap the chef inside. Several fishes ejected out of the nozzle, then moments later, the Poltergust shook before a brand-new elevator button flew out and landed on the edge of the sink. Biscuit gave the princess and the plumber an enthusiastic yap.

END BGM

"Phew, glad that's over with," Luigi took off his cap, running a hand through the cowlicks of his auburn hair.

"Next up, we do one thing." Drakus said, as his stomach grumbled. "Get a good meal!"

Surprisingly, the actual chefs were trapped in a closet by Soufflé, and were perfectly happy to let the squad eat at the Mezzaine.

"Sir, before we seat you, I will have to ask you to holster your weapons and vacuums."

The squad did as asked, then walked over to the nearest empty table and sat down.

"I'll take whatever food you can bring. Doesn't matter what dish it is." Ombra said.

"You look like you haven't had a decent meal in days. We'll set up a tab for you and bring you our largest entree. Do you need anything to drink in the meantime?"

"Just some water" Inkerton mentioned. "I'm too tired for booze."

"Sanji, let's get to work!" Zeff barked as he turned to the blonde boy, then the black girl. "Noire, keep the man hydrated, and let me know if his condition changes!"

"Got it, Pops!" The two nodded as they left to do their work.

Inkerton was awestruck and confused at this: Feeding a dangerous group like the X-Squad with so little fear?

"Don't worry about causing trouble. Every member of the cooking staff is a fighting cook." Zeff said to Inkerton as he passed him. "Besides, I doubt your group would sit still if they felt threatened. And I can gauge a man's strength just from his appetite. You're tougher than you look."

"Holy shit, that's good! Who would've ever thought that booze would come so far in 3,000 years' time?" Galand remarked.

"I think I like this one the best." Melascula added, lifting up a bottle of Jack Daniel's.

"Good to see everyone's here," Zenkichi said, "Our contact on floor 4 is Mariko Hyodo, the mayor of Sapporo, and a pro hero in her own right."

"She goes by Winterhold," Zeff added, "And her Quirk is called Snow Crystal, which lets her generate and control ice crystals like snow."

"So how is the Underworld affecting the people here?" Yusuke wondered, "Things actually seemed normal here."

"That's just it," Zenkichi said, "The Underworld isn't affecting the people at all. It's the mayoral cabinet that's being affected. Various political figures suddenly working themselves ragged, trying to keep a pristine image. Mayor Hyodo's had to enforce paid vacations for a dozen government workers to get some rest... Five times alone last month. All at once. Not to mention three city councilmen who opposed her bill suddenly admitted to corruption and resigned. Plus, somehow Mariko's approval rating has been increasing at a rate unheard of. She's gained fifty points in the last month alone. Plus, there's been reports of a dragon on the 4th floor, goes by Volvagia."

"That guy was alive even before the Dodongos." Dodongo scowled. "He was a real nasty piece of work. Ate Gorons pretty much for fun."

"So… He ate rocks, but only living ones?" Mystle asked. "That seems rather pointlessly evil, even by my standards; it doesn't seem like it would be more or less nutritious."

"He did it because he thought he was some kind of god of the mountain. Like it was his "right"." He growled. "And now, Wattles has brought him back."

"Hm…" Barinade scribbled in their notepad. "Another point of necromancy on Wattles' rap sheet. And this dragon has murder and consumption of sentient beings on his…"

"Maybe we should talk with Mari-san," Haru suggested, "Find out what she really thinks of all this. After all, elections are coming up after the Last Resort situation is done."

"That's not a bad idea," Zeff said, "But you should know she's being monitored. We confirmed it during an investigation. So don't try asking for her EMMA keyword directly. By now whoever is in charge of the Underworld here knows someone's disrupting their plans, and they might do whatever it takes to stay hidden."

"Fortunately, there's a workaround," Zenkichi added, "Mariko's going to be making a campaign speech on the 10th. Since she's an avid supporter of EMMA, she'll most certainly be giving out her EMMA keyword during her speech. That way, everyone will be getting it at once, and whoever is monitoring her won't realize we have it until it's far too late. After all, there's likely to be thousands out in the crowd on that day."

---

Later, after having their meals, the squad set off to the fourth floor, and slowly stepped out into the lobby. They didn't even take two steps before they heard a noise.

"Huh? Do you hear something, lads?" Neo said, as she held a hand behind her ear.

"Yeah, you're not the only one. It's pretty faint from here, but I think it might be a piano." Furina remarked.

"I think you're right." Dove shuddered. "I've had a few experiences with ghosts playing some melodies. Although I can't deny their talent, it still sends chills down my spine."

"I mean, it could be way worse. You could run into a freaking killer piano with teeth!"

"That was a weird Tuesday..." Mario said, recalling that memory in Big Boo's Haunt.

"Sorry. Anyway, let's continue, shall we?"

"I'm first!" Colombo cheered. The floor wasn't too dark as a few spotlights illuminated various souvenirs, art pieces, and musical instruments. They stared at a large poster with a piano drawn as the display. There was also a large sousaphone to their left. Just before they went down the hallway, Luigi jumped when he saw a large cymbal rolling around before it landed flat in front of their feet.

"Um, I hate to be Captain Obvious, but I think it's safe to say that we're definitely not alone in this hallway," Lyre exhaled.

Suddenly, Harū spotted someone she recognized.

"Oh, there's Mari-san!"

Sure enough, Mariko was speaking with a man in a suit, berating him.

"Just how long have you been standing out here staring at flowers! We have gardeners for that! One wilted flower isn't going to spiral into another controversy! Now go take a break and for God's sake get some rest!"

She sighed as the man ran off after a profuse apology. She spotted the group as she did.

"Oh, hello there. Forgive the unprofessional attitude, but things like this have been building up for the past... Three..."

She blinked when she got a second look.

"H-Harū-chan?"

Harū smiled.

"Mari-san! It's been so long!"

Mariko's face lit up as she smiled.

"Oh, I almost didn't recognize you! You've blossomed so much."

The two got the group up to speed.

"Yes, I'm a good friend to Kunikazu, Haru-chan's father. Even after he was forced into being the criminal Space Odyssey, that is. You know, I could become your mother-in-law once he serves his time in jail."

Harū blushed.

"Oh... I knew you and father were golfing friends, but I didn't think you were that close."

"But I am glad to see you rise above that and become a true hero," Mariko said, "With All Might planning to retire in a few years, this world needs heroes more than ever."

"No need to worry about that," Harū said, looking back at Drakus, "After all, the agency I'm working with is helping with some unusual heroes."

Suddenly, a small blur raced forward in front of the squad, in front of the concession stand.

"Back off, jerks! This is our lunch!"

The blur was a small boy, no older than ten. He wore a red and black shirt and had yellow spiky hair

"Awwww!" Mystle and Ruby cooed together. "So cute!"

"EY! I AM NOT CUTE!" The boy snapped. "GET EM, HOBBES!"

He pointed to the tiger at his side, his eyes then going back to the squad, a grin on his face before…

"CALVIN!"

The boy paused as a smoke-like being with a bronze mask in the shape of a dragon flew between the squad and him. "I appreciate you defending our food, but these are friendly beings!"

"Oh…whoops…HOBBES TOLD ME TO DO IT!"

He pointed to the tiger, which glared at him. "I did not, Calvin!" he yelled.

"You totally did tell me to attack!"

"I said watch, you deaf swine..." The tiger growled.

"Watch, attack, same thing! When we're pirates it is!"

"No, I think that applies to you alone, you smooth-brained imbecile!"

"Oh, you did not just…!"

"Um…so..." Sparrow said, trying to be as polite as possible. "Who's the kid and who are you?"

"Calvin; I guess you call him my apprentice, and my name is Embrall. He washed up on my island with Hobbes about…" He paused to think. "…Four years ago. Not going to lie, that tiger of his has done a grand job keeping us alive."

The squad looked down at the tiger, then the smoke demon and little boy.

"So, don't take this wrong, but…?" Icy Blitzwing started.

"What? Haven't seen a real tiger before?" Hobbes asked.

"Not one that walks like a human..." Sabrina muttered.

"Relax, dear Hobbes," Embrall explained. "You and Calvin are safe."

Hobbes sighed in relief, then grinned playfully at Calvin.

"First real company and when you attack…they gush. So much for 'manly hero.'"

"Drop dead, Hobbes."

"HOW LONG…has he been here?!" Gordon asked as he cautiously backed away.

"As long as I have!" Calvin snapped before his eyes widened in shock at the realization. "You mean to tell me…you all thought…I was talking to a stuffed tiger?! You all must've thought I was crazy!"

No one confirmed or denied such thoughts, which gave Calvin time to remember something else:

"Wait…how come Embrall can see Hobbes just fine, then?!"

"That's what I'd like to know!" The tiger added in

Roman thought for a moment before coming up with a solution.

"Um…Calvin? Where did you find Hobbes?"

"Mom and Dad gave him to me just before I washed ashore on New Garden; Dad says an auctioning house was giving him away for free."

"Why I never!" Hobbes shouted in annoyance.

"Maybe…" Mystle realized. "Maybe Hobbes isn't just a tiger, but an IF."

"A what?"

"An IF; a dream demon that only certain people can see," Drakus explained.

"Or because you're so close to him, he could see what you saw." Mystle shrugged. "I'm not a hundred percent sure."

---

Pretty soon, Mariko was speaking into a mic connected to loudspeakers across the street, and she had her smartphone out.

"I'm sure you're all familiar with EMMA. I too am no stranger to technology, so please feel free to add me to your friends list. And this invitation extends to anyone listening outside Sapporo, or even Hokkaido. The keyword is 'Snow City'."

"Clever move," Futaba said, "Now the infiltration could come from anywhere. That'll really mess up the Underworld's master."

---

Once the gang entered the Underworld, they were completely hit by the freezing cold.

"Really glad I'm part-snow leopard on my uncle's side..." Hobbes said, his whole body shivering, "Or else I'd be hibernating in seconds..."

Fortunately, the freezing chill passed as their bodies acclimated to the enhanced nature of the Underworld, letting them see the area around them. Sapporo's Underworld looked like an entire city, complete with a massive ice castle in the distance.

"I know Mari-san wanted a city as pristine as snow," Milady said, "But I doubt she meant that literally... Or to this extreme."

Navigating through the thick ice walls took some doing, but eventually the team reached a point where the walls were impassable.

"The Underworld works differently than reality," Drakus explained, "Quirks and other superpowers are enhanced, but they're also forced to conform to a certain sequence in regards to infiltrating each Underworld."

"Can we just find someway of turning the heat up?" Carmyn asked, "I'm getting tired of piggybacking Necro."

"Ah..." Necronomicon said, taking advantage of Carmyn's higher temperature, "Nice and warm... Need warmth... Hate cold..."

"Feels as cold as a chemical freezer," Valjean noted, "Which means the cores might be powering the cold itself. Disabling the tower keeps should warm things up enough to get rid of the ice walls."

"That way!" Necronomicon said, "The clocktower! Bring heat to this godless wasteland!"

As they did, they encountered one of the Twisted villains, Minion. He was bound to a Lilim spirit. He was quickly dispatched by Zorro and Cendrillon.

Something felt off once they reached the first towerkeep.

"Why is the gate open?" Carmyn asked, "That's never happened before. We've always had to take some roundabout way to get inside."

"I'm not picking up anything in the general area," Necronomicon noted.

"Most likely something will happen once the core is taken, though," Ingenium pointed out, "Let's keep our guard up."

They headed up and Drakus picked up the new Key.

"How'd these things get powers, anyway?" Galand wondered, "They seem way too much like magic keystones."

Just then, the entire area got covered in a huge blizzard.

"Oh shit!" Captain Kidd called out, "It just got even colder!"

"I'm detecting something nearby," Necronomicon said, "I think we can use it. I've set a waypoint to follow."

The location turned out to be a giant heater. Everyone sighed in relief when it was turned on, warming them all up.

"Finally, I don't feel cold-blooded," Melascula said, freaking out Robin Hood, who had honestly forgotten she was part of the group.

"This heater seems to be connected to several others," Necronomicon realized, "If we can turn them all on, it should dispel the blizzard."

One of the heaters was on a roof, another needed an ice block to reach, and the third was behind a hack terminal. Along the way they encountered the Twisted villain Talon, bonded to a Setanta spirit. Milady was able to take down this one, leaving him open for arrest. As the group left, they found the next Twisted villain. This one was the support villain Health Semi, whose job it was to keep the other villains strong throughout the entire demolition derby. He was bonded to a Jack Frost spirit.

"Time to see what this can do," Drakus said, activating the key, which created a navy blue armor themed after a whale.

"WAVE!"

The key allowed Drakus to create an oceanic wave, letting him surf ahead to knock down Health Semi, after which Carmyn dealt a finishing blow with her fist aflame. At that point, the blizzard dispelled, and the group noticed one of the ice walls had melted.

"We have our way forward," Arsene said, "Let's keep moving."

The path took the group through a twisting ice valley, until it opened up to reveal the next tower keep. After a quick snowboarding session down a large hill, the group found another barrier for Necronomicon to hack. Once inside, Midorang found the next Progrise Key. On the way out, another Twisted villain appeared. This time it was Piecemeal, bonded to a Mothman spirit. Drakus got out the magenta key.

"Time for a new power!"

This time the magenta armor was modeled after a lion.

"BURST!"

The Burst power unleashed powerful explosive blasts, not unlike what Dynamite could do. Once Piecemeal was staggered, Robin Hood rushed in to knock him out for good.

"That's that," Zorro said, "And the ice walls are starting to thaw. We should be able to move onward."

---

Before reaching the third tower, the team decided to take a break. Goemon took the time to track down and defeat the Twisted villain Club Kid, bonded to a Berith spirit. Natsume and Alice called in about a few wayward desires still trapped in the Nightmare Sector and Wonderland Sector, which needed to be retrieved. Konoe also called in requesting a delivery of several strange circuits from the Underworld. In addition the region was swarming with Slime spirits that needed to be removed. More Jack Frost, Lilim, and Setanta spirits had started swarming in the Snow City Sector as well. Back inside the Underworld, the team found another ice wall at the third keep.

"How are we supposed to get past this?" Suneater wondered.

"Up there," Mystle said, pointing to a tall mountain, "There should be a path leading down it."

Sure enough, there were more snowboards to use at the top of the icy mountain. Near the bottom, the wall could be climbed using a nearby ice block.

"These Underworlds seem to be laid out like a video game," Preme noted, "They've even got power-ups."

Drakus picked up the last Progrise Key, which expelled three more items. A campaign poster for Mariko, a white flower, and a mayoral badge. On the way out, they encountered the Twisted villain Old Pickup, bound to a Mithras spirit.

"Now for a new power!" Drakus declared.

The Progrise Key created a blue armor themed after a penguin.

"HURRICANE!"

The powerful winds created by the Progrise Key seemed to blow Old Pickup off his feet. Zorro added in his own wind power, Captain Kidd and Milady throwing in their own abilities to knock the villain out for containment.

"That should take care of all the walls," Goemon said.

Suddenly, an announcement played, with a male voice chiming in.

"Remember that the pristine city desired by Hyodo requires no dirt or filth. You must work hard and cleanse this entire city regularly, and you must not stop until all is as pure as ice and snow."

"We should probably get out of the way," Valjean noted.

"Probably?" Embrall asked in surprise.

The crew left the streets just as a whole hoard of Jack Frost spirits started storming down the streets.

"Cleanup, hee! Cleanup, ho! Cleanup, hee-ho, here we go! Bury them in pure, white snow! Hee-ho!"

"Holy crap!" Necronomicon called out, "It's the hee-horde from hell! I always knew Atlus was hiding this craziness in their headquarters!"

"I read through all seven thousand, two hundred and seventy one of...of the nuclear...guidelines...uh... document, and that's not in there!" Tommy said.

"They're completely blocking the path to the castle," Roman noted, "Let's wait until this dies down."

"Hee-ho!" Arsene declared.

"Hee-ho!" Weiss replied.

"Hee-ho!" Melascula cheered.

"Hee-ho?" Necronomicon asked, confused.

"Hee-ho!" Coomer added.

"Hee-ho!" Milady called out cheerfully.

"Hee-ho!" Mystle chimed in.

"Hee-ho!" Galand laughed.

"Hee-ho!" Goemon called out in enthusiasm.

"They're infected!" Carmyn cried out in horror.

"Okay, good bit," Johanna said, "Now let's get out of here."

"Hee-ho," Drakus added.

"Ho-kay," Captain Kidd said.

---

"Yes, thank you, Mister Melbourne," Mariko said in her office, "I believe I'll be joining Inspector Hasegawa and his team tomorrow. Whoever is behind has forgotten one thing... Pure as snow can be, it's still possible to get a little dirt mixed into it."

---

Ryuji wanted to try a legendary ramen that was found only in Sapporo that the Last Resort was selling. There were meal tickets set aside at a pharmacy, since the ramen typically sold out quickly, but the manager was holding them back since the ramen chef needed to relax his elbows. Fortunately, Sophia knew of a method to create a special compression sleeve. Drakus quickly ducked into the Snow City Underworld to take down a few Mothman spirits in order to get the ingredients needed. A lead had been found on the Twisted villain Augur, bonded with an Ame-no-Uzume spirit. Milady was quick to apprehend him. The Sapporo Underworld was also having a swarm of Mothman, Principality, and Kaiwan spirits.

---

Finally, Ann wanted to try some jingisukan, and Ren found the recipe using lamb meat, cabbage, and onions. Before long, Mariko was ready to enter the Underworld with the main group, and the castle was blocked from the front with another wall of ice.

"How are we to get past this?" Winterhold wondered.

"There's always a way around," Arsene assured her.

Sure enough, there was a simple sliding puzzle just around the side of the castle leading to an open window. The interior of the ice castle was actually quite gorgeous, but it was marred by the numerous puppet guards of various kinds that kept charging in to attack. At the top were actually two of the Twisted villains. First was Mister Zombie, bound to a Principality spirit. Second was Junkyard Dog, bound to a Kaiwan spirit. Winterhold quickly separated the two with a quick flurry, then Gordon took down Mister Zombie while Johanna easily knocked out Junkyard Dog.

"That just leaves the castle itself," Enn said.

"Yeah," Drakus said, "And take a look at the emblem. Look familiar?"

Everyone gasped at the image on the door.

"The mark of the Chaos Insurgency," Tenko noted, "I remember seeing it on Gustav's computer. To think we'd wind up crossing their path once again."

Uzi touched the barrier and the voices started flooding in.

'I can't believe the snow sculpture fell... It should be the mayor who takes responsibility, right...? Why can't she just give up power and let those who deserve it take charge...!?'

"I know that voice," Winterhold realized, "Now what was his name...? I need to return to my office and check a few things. Meet me back at the food stand."

---

Mariko walked over to the simple memorial of flowers placed near a lamp post. Haru was there as well.

"It was two years ago now," Mariko said, a sadness in her eyes, "During the December Snow Festival. One of the snow sculptures suddenly collapsed without warning. I tried my hardest to keep it standing using my Quirk, but it was too heavy. And a poor little girl, only nine years ago, was caught under the snow. By the time other heroes arrived to help, she was almost dead..."

"How did that happen?" Haru wondered.

"I learned that a city employee, one Ryudo Naruhodo, had accepted a kickback," Mariko explained, "In exchange for letting an unauthorized contractor make the sculpture. It turned out to be shoddy work. Naruhodo then made a deal with a councilman to force me from office so that said councilman could become mayor instead."

She smiled.

"They were caught with no way out when I warned that if I agreed to resign, I would have full authority as a hero to lay all the blame on them. Naruhodo's cohort caved almost immediately. But Naruhodo himself refused to believe he might have been in the wrong in any way, claiming the sort of deal he made happens all the time in office. Cutting corners indeed. People expect us to make the most of the taxpayers' money. I challenged him to find proof that there were other government offices where this sort of thing happened. Even though he did find some, he was shocked to learn that I only did it to buy time."

"For what?" Haru asked.

"To investigate him," Mariko explained, "He seemed far too eager to assert his version of how a government office should be run. So I made a formal hero's investigation, and found out he's a hidden villain going by the code name Arctic, a member of the Chaos Insurgency tasked with eroding faith in the government so that they might take over. When I approached him with this news, he agreed to a compromise. No one would take any blame, the family who almost lost their daughter would receive a massive payment and have the medical bills covered, out of pocket of course, and the councilman would have to run for office the hard way."

Harū checked her phone.

"Seems Naruhodo's name unlocked the cage. Whatever lesson you were hoping to teach him, Mari-san, it looks like he refused to learn it."

Mariko sighed.

"I tried to offer him the easy way. But if he wants this to be difficult, then there's no alternative."

---

"What do you mean my history has been leaked!?" Naruhodo demanded, "I thought the mayor and I had an agreement!"

"She seems to think you broke it somehow," his fellow employee explained, "That you're the one behind the psychotic episodes that are supposedly plaguing the city."

Naruhodo was shocked.

"How could she have...? He swore Hyodo wouldn't be able to get in on her own... There's no way anyone in that group could have gotten the keyword... They can't be here... Could they...?"

He had been keeping track of all planes in and out of Hokkaido. For him it was the most efficient path, especially since these were heroes. Going by the ferry seemed too pedestrian for them.

"I need to check this out. I'll be right back."

---

Once the squad made it to the Auditorium entrance, pushing the doors aside. Biscuit hopped through before they closed. The first thing that caught their attention was the piano in the center of the stage with the lights down on it. Ignoring the creepy music that was playing, they saw several rows of chairs with red cushions, statue decorations on the side, and a few sitting balconies on the top level. Lastly, a spotlight shone on a framed picture that stood against a partition. To their surprise, it was a Toad.

"RAYNARE! YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS!"

"And how do you propose you do that, you pathetic whelp of a Devil!? I'll soon become the supreme Fallen Angel! You can't possibly stand up to me with that measly little Twice Critical!" Raynare cackled loudly, the Fallen Angel spreading her wings wide as her dark hair flowed in the nonexistent wind inside of the auditorium.

And there would be green light flowing through her, if she could pry it from Asia's finger, which was surprisingly harder than Raynare thought.

The blonde nun sat there on the edge of the stage, confused as Birch, Kumadori and SheZap tried to pry Twilight Healing off of her ring finger with a pair of pliers and a sword, to no success.

"Okay, that's it…" The lanky fire dragon hissed, forked tongue slithering out. "I am growing bored toying with that fool." The dragon's maw opened, flames gathering in his throat, ready to roast Asia with a spray of hot fire, as he burrowed into the stage.

Subterranean Lava Dragon

Volvagia

Issei was weakened, as he did his best to untie himself from the chair.

Yuuto and Koneko were trying to claw their way out of a mountain of snow that trapped them beside Issei, which was taking longer than he expected.

Rias and Akeno had gone off to do god knew what after Asia had gotten kidnapped, and he had no idea if he could even call them or the squad at this point despite how much danger he was in.

"We'd best finish them off fast before they escape." Vilgax remarked.

"Indeed, I will commence with their death, comrade." Kumadori agreed, and was about to blast them.

Shredder suddenly stopped Kumadori from shooting them, "No. A quick demise is much too good for the likes of our new foes," he and Krang shoved the two aside, "These accursed brats deserve something far worse."

Koneko whimpered in fear of what Shredder and Krang had planned, as the alien chuckled "For once, Shredder, we agree on something."

"Now is the time for... Gloating!" Shredder declared.

"Gloating?" Koneko asked dumbfounded.

"Are you for real?" Issei asked rhetorically.

Shredder towered before the group and began gloating, "We are the best, and you are not, you blasted teens!"

"Filthy devils!" Krang mocked them.

"Mud-Headed Misfits!"

"Inadequate Demons!"

"Diablo Freakshow!"

"The hell did we walk in on!?" Ryuko called out, kicking open the doors to the auditorium. "Damn, got here late, didn't we?"

She looked around awkwardly, wondering what she'd missed as the squad barged in without another word, shoving Shredder and Krang aside. "Wait… Hyodou!? The hell happened to you!? Shit man, are you okay!?"

"Asia…" Issei said, as he brought his hand up, fisting it tight in Ryuko's jacket. "Asia… well… Raynare…."

"... Asia…?" Mariko blinked, suddenly alert as she straightened up and almost knocked Issei's hand away just from her movements. "Shit… shit shit shit... what happened!?"

"From the look of things, getting involved with Deadlight shenanigans." Drakus said, as he saw Ember, Megafin and Spandam put Asia's hand in Mechagodzilla's mouth, as the kaiju robot was sent flying into the wall as Asia shook her wrist.

Suddenly, a pair of tall ghosts materialized in the middle of the Auditorium. One was a woman with a long-sleeved green dress. The other was a male who wore a red jacket, a purple shirt, and a bowtie. They were known as the Floating Whirlindas, a.k.a. the Dancing Couple.

"I must say, this is a perfect place for us to waltz around, right, darling?" Mrs. Whirlinda batted her green eyes.

"Indeed," Mr. Whirlinda. This feels a lot more spacious to dance. I feel like I'm in my twenties again! How I miss dancing with you."

"I feel the same way, my wonderful, handsome hubby."

"And you're nothing but beautiful, my sweet green bean."

Roman stuck out his tongue in disgust. "Bleh, I think I'm gonna be sick."

"What's wrong with dancing?" Smasher asked.

"I'm just...really uncomfortable with the whole love talk."

"Well, someday you're gonna have to deal with my sweet nothings by the time I marry you," the solo grinned at him, well, as much a cyborg could grin.

"Excuse me?!" Roman's face flushed red. "D-Do you even know what you're saying?!"

"At ease, everyone. All is not lost yet," Rias spoke up as she walked into the auditorium. "We may yet be able to save Asia, but we need to move quickly."

"How do we do that…?" Issei asked, standing before Rias with a defeated, tired expression on his face.

Somehow, all of them knew exactly what had to be done without any words spoken, just from the way that Rias' face hardened when she sent a heavy glare towards Raynare, who immediately sweatdropped.

"... I don't know if I can do it myself," Issei admitted, clenching his fists impotently as his Sacred Gear faded away. "Even though she's done so many horrible things… even if she killed me, even if she's trying to kill Asia… I can't stop seeing the face of Yuuma-chan. I- I'm sorry, Prez."

"Nut up or shut up, simp!" Bubby said to Issei, pimp slapping him.

"Look at that!" E. Gadd whispered through the Virtual Boo's microphone. "It's one of your friends who joined your vacation! All you have to do is shine your Dark-Light Device on the portrait to free him!"

"That's easier said than done, Professor," Furina grumbled. "Do you not notice the piano music in the background, or the angel trying to pull a ring off Asia?"

"We can't let some more ghosts be a distraction for us. We've already captured tens of them by now!" Dove said. "Let's save that Toad and get the next elevator button!"

"You're right. Standing here isn't going to do anything."

"Don't worry, fellers. I'll cheer for you from my lab," encouraged E. Gadd.

"Excuse us!" Mr. Whirlinda hollered, catching their attention. "We're having a moment with our dancing, and you are interrupting it!"

"Can't you buzz off and have your annoying conversation elsewhere?" Mrs. Whirlinda muttered.

"Wait a second," the husband got a closer look at Dove. "Why, it's that lilac haired lady we saw a long time ago! She managed to figure out how to capture us and ruined our dance!"

Mrs. Whirlinda soon recognized her, too. "I believe you're right! What are you even doing here?!"

"Well originally, we were supposed to-" Drakus said.

"Ah ah ah! I want an answer from this man, not you," Mr. Whirlinda demanded.

"Fine. Be that way," Drakus scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest as Furina aimed the Z-00 at them.

"Sod off, lovebirds!" Furina remarked, as she quickly sucked them into the vacuum, quickly ending their dance.

The squad walked down the aisle as they reached the small stairway that led up to the stage. The eerie piano music continued to play. With the keys moving up and down on their own, more shivers traveled down their spine.

It was the ghost performing a rendition of Moonlight Sonata, or some similar piece.

Creeping closer to the portrait, Dove stopped when a figure emerged on the bench. She instantly recognized her; it was Melody Pianissima, a blonde ghost with a long, maroon dress. Then, a second ghost appeared as well. To Melody's right was a new face that Dove had never seen before. It was a male ghost with purple skin, silver hair, and a white dress shirt with a purple jacket.

"You have to keep up with the tempo, Melody," the taller musician chastised her. "I can't tolerate anyone, including ghosts, who can't keep their rhythm flowing."

"Excuse me, Amadeus Wolfgeist," Melody fired back as she pulled her hands away from the keys. "I believe my tempo is fine. Haven't you learned by now that I have learned to play the piano for several years?"

That urged Amadeus to stop playing, too. "Hmph. Impressive, yes. But I have more experience than you, Missy. I've been a master at the ebony and ivory keys for decades."

"Uh, no surprise. You died at an older age compared to me."

"Age is but a number. Regardless, I'm more poised and professional than you will ever be."

"Says the ghost who decked a random guest for having squeaky shoes."

Amadeus's hair started to fire up. "Hey! He messed up the biggest recital in my entire life! As soon as that scoundrel walked into the Auditorium, he made me lose focus and I played the wrong notes! You could hear him squeak from across the continent! The audience mocked me before I could finish, and I'll never forgive him!"

"It was your high school talent show, for heaven's sake," Monsoon gave him a funny look, as he walked onstage.

His right eye twitched. "You don't know that," he whispered in denial.

"You're so overdramatic that it's funny how people think I have the worst temper. At least I'm more respectful towards strangers. You, on the other hand, like outsiders only when they praise you. It's like you always want to hog the spotlight for yourself." Melody remarked.

"Don't you sass at me. Why am I even playing next to you in the first place?"

"Because when I discovered this piano, I couldn't resist playing. You heard me from your dressing room and found me. At first, you doubted my talents, and I've been here for the last hour or so to prove you wrong. Yet every time, you have to interrupt because you accuse me of not getting the tempo right, that I don't have a sense of rhythm, or that I don't play with enough passion. Well, sorry, Mr. Musical Mentor. I prefer to play the piano in my own way. Or maybe you're just jealous that I'm a better pianist," Melody smirked.

"Ugh. As if," Amadeus scoffed.

Raiden took another step closer to Toad, until the wooden floors made a creaking sound. Disturbed, Monsoon turned around and detected the apprehensive mercenary.

"Feasting on the insides of your enemies. How easily you ignore the loss of life when it suits your convenience. So tell me, X-Squad: Who saves the weak from the ones who save the weak?" Monsoon asked.

"ONLY PAIN AND COMBAT WILL MAKE ONE STRONGER!" Coomer yelled.

"You're the ones exploiting them. You take advantage of their weakness...obviously, they'd get hurt when you set them up as your human shield." Hosshiwa remarked.

"Kill or be killed, Frenchie. Phnom Penh taught me that." Monsoon remarked. "Yes, you aren't the only one to grow up on the killing fields. War is a cruel parent, but an effective teacher. Its final lesson is carved deep in my psyche: That this world, and all its people, are diseased. Free will is a myth. Religion is a joke. We are all pawns, controlled by something greater: Memes. The DNA of the soul. They shape our will. They are the culture -- they are everything we pass on. Expose someone to anger long enough, they will learn to hate. They become a carrier. Envy, greed, despair... All memes. All passed along." he monologued.

"How about whatever Gen Alpha spits out? Is that a meme?" Drakus snarked. "Because, Monsoon my boy, given the modern definition of memes, no one in modern times would monologue about memes with a straight face."

"You can't fight nature, X-Squad. Wind blows, rain falls, and the strong prey upon the weak. I heard some among you see your weapons as tools. Something that saves lives -- a means of justice. Now there's a pretty meme. Exquisite! It's spared you the burden of all the lives you've taken...absolved you of guilt when you enjoyed it." Monsoon laughed, as he spun his sais around. "That is, until the illusion was broken. Don't be ashamed. It's only nature, running its course. You have no choices to make. Nothing to answer for. You can die with a clear conscience."

Raiden soon sighed. "You're still right. About me, I mean. I know something was still... off. After the Patriots and World Marshal, I thought I could walk off the battlefield and into a normal life. But here I am, surrounded by actual ghosts, with a band of psychos and Valkyries, arguing philosophy with terrorists from my past on the payroll of Hitler, who was apparently a bird man from Babylon. I told myself this was still about justice. About protecting the weak. But I was wrong."

"What are you yapping about, Rai?" Hibiki asked, slowly getting scared.

"I learned young that killing your enemies felt good. Really good. In America, my friends... my family... They helped me forget the devil inside. But who am I kidding? I was born to kill. The bit about my sword -- that "means of justice" stuff? I guess I needed something to keep "the Ripper" in check when I was knee-deep in bodies." Raiden mused.

"You..." Raynare muttered.

"But you -- all this -- is a wake-up call to what I still believe. What I still am." Raiden said.

"What are you saying...?" Ombra asked, as Raiden's eye turned red.

Shredder and Krang saw this and got nervous, "What's going on here?" Shredder asked.

"I don't know, but I don't like it." Krang answered, equally nervous.

"I'm saying a fair warning, that Jack is back in action, baby!" Jack the Ripper, or rather, Raiden, laughed.

"HA!" Calvin cackled. "Ya hear that Hobbes?! You DON'T know everything!"

"Never said I did," Hobbes replied. "And you do realize you'll have to work for your keep if we get outta here?"

"Well duh!" Calvin said. "I can beat someone up with you by my side!"

"…Are we seriously letting a kid fight beside us?" Camille asked.

"I see nothing wrong with that." Roman remarked.

Kumadori up to Raiden and pierced him with a sword, yet Raiden laughed maniacally.

"Doktor. Turn off my pain inhibitors." Raiden demanded.

"What? This... This is becoming madness! You--" Doktor sputtered.

"You're violating my ears with your clap-back. Get on it, Doktor!" Jax snapped.

Kumadori freaked out.

"THE RABBIT SPEAKS!? WHAT DEVILRY IS THIS!?"

Soon, Raiden embraced the pain once more, laughing maniacally, and ripped the sword out of his body, flooding the floor with blood. His exoskeleton began glowing with red LEDs.

"This is my normal. My nature." Raiden said, smirking arrogantly.

"Now what? Who dares to interfere with my musical presence this time?!" Amadeus snapped.

Melody shifted over and saw who he was talking about. "Oh, why if it isn't Dove!"

"You know this child?" he asked with a quizzical look.

"Of course I do! She was kind enough to listen to a few of my favorite sonatas before she sucked me into a vacuum."

"You've been captured by this buffoon? Hmm... I'd expect you would put up a decent fight against some pathetic child... or whatever that snow haired loon is."

"Hey, get your professions right! I'm a mercenary, mind you!" Raiden jeered.

"Oh, great. Just what I desired. Some more uninvited guests. Listen here, delinquents. I'm only here to provide quality entertainment to a massive crowd of people who will appreciate my piano skills. Instead, I get a sassy tomboy, an overenthusiastic pooch, and a band of utter maniacs."

Luigi gulped as his knees temporarily stopped buckling. Biscuit softly growled at the narcissistic musician, as Dove glared at him, and the X-Squad smirked like the menaces they are.

"Don't take it too personally," Melody said to the protagonists. "He's quite a hotheaded man based on what I've perceived."

"Hotheaded?" Amadeus glared. "I'll show you hotheaded! If you can't manage to outdo this highly-strung Liberian, I'll teach you all a lesson on how a proper fight should take place! Then I can go back to my sheet music in peace."

"Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker." Drakus said, smirking.

Volvagia emerged, lashing at the squad with his flaming mane, wielding it like a whip, forcing them to back off.

"Once I've burned you to cinders and Wattles rules all, I will devour the Gorons down to their last…" He cackled, emerging fully from the stage. "Then, I shall return to Hyrule and rain hellfire upon their villages. Perhaps I'll demand sacrifices in exchange for their pitiful lives." He cackled, twisting.

"Now you're just being nasty. That nickname Monsoon and his crew love so much -- wanna know how I got it? Actually -- why don't give you a demonstration? I think it's time for Jack... to let 'er rip!" Raiden remarked.

Arctic hurried into his Underworld, dressed in snow white demon armor, only to find himself hit with a sudden flurry. To his shock, Winterhold was standing on the stage.

"You never were able to understand restraint," she noted, "And really, trying to trick the people with a signed paper. You think no one reads the fine print? I signed off on you hiring a top-level contractor. Not accepting a bribe from the first one that offers a lower price. Or haven't you heard the phrase 'you get what you pay for'?"

Arctic grunted before unleashing his Temperature Quirk, trying to increase the heat to negate Winterhold's power.

"You should have just stepped down when you had the chance! So what if one little girl almost died! That woman still had a second daughter, didn't she!?"

"How callous," Winterhold said, not bothered by the heat, "To one who has never experienced true loss of family, a million lost lives must seem like just another statistic. Would you say the same to that mother? You'd be slapped for even suggesting it. Speaking of which, allow me to introduce the one who helped me break your barrier!"

Drakus leapt down in a crouching position, readying an uppercut.

"I'll see to it you get a cell right next to Thanatos!"

Arctic grunted in pain as his jaw was slammed hard by Drakus' tail. He could swear he saw teeth flying as he lost consciousness, as well as seeing the core of his Underworld break apart.

Suddenly, multiple red eyes appear all over the forest, then, marching out into the auditorium was an army of Foot Bots, Fanglars, Feargulls, Clurkrahnnas, Elfwolves, Stooges, Wildclaws, Medicinals, Smashers, Scopers, Dough-Goos, Uchuhages, Soldier Heartless, Dragoon Nobodies, Scrapper Unversed, Beowolves, Zakennas, Uzainas, Kowainas, Hoshiinas, Nakewamekes, Desertrians, Negatones, Buffoons, Distains, Saiarks, Zetsuborgs, Yokubaaru, Nendos, Oshimaidas, Nottoreis, Epidems, Yaraneedas, Ubauzos, Ranborgs, Garugarus, Zolders, Crimers, Cutmen, Dustlers, Machinemen, Spotmen, Tail Soldiers, Mechaclones, Hidrer Soldiers, Zolohs, Ungler Soldiers, Jimmers, Ular Soldiers, Batzler Soldiers, Grinam Soldiers, Putties, Tenga Warriors, Cotpotros, Dorodoros, Cogs, Chromites, Pirahnatrons, Craterites, Quantrons, Stingwingers, Swabbies, Tyrannodrones, Triptoids, Batlings, Cyclobots, Putrids, Kelzaks, Krybots, Hidiacs, Chillers, Lava Lizards, Rinshis, Marauders, Spitfangs, Zombatants, Treshers, Trenters, Vivix, Vigorx, Kudabots, Tronics, Hengemen, Valaks, Groonies, Indavers, Viroids, Marskmins, Plugins, Anonis, Sanagims, Nutbolters, Droans, Ohneeders, Stormtroopers, B1-series battle droids, Tactical droids, Droidekas, Moth Drones, Hanbungers, Cyber Raptors, Links, Formica Pedes, Raydragoons, Rat Imagin, Fanghouls, Riotroopers, Darkroachis, Salis Worms, Byakkos, Masquerade Dopants, Kuzu Yummies, Ghouls, Plain Roidmudes, Leo Dustards, Gamma Commandos, Kurokage Troopers, Bugster Viruses, Elementary Inves, Guardian Bots, Kasshines, Dodo Magia Chicks, Shimis, Phistoids, Jyamaoto Riders and Bikrows. Shredder soon chuckled. "Did you think we were foolish enough to come here without our Foot Bots?"

"Do you really want us to answer that?" Neo asked rhetorically.

"Now then, Deadlight, attack!" Krang ordered, only to get pushed aside by Shredder.

"Hey! I'm the one who gets to say that! Deadlight, attack!"

"All right gang, who wants to teach this sack of shit how we do things back in Beverly Hills?" Cinadexc asked.

"Aye~!"

BGM: Artificial (Daughtry)

Amadeus tugged the ends of his sleeves before rapidly tapping the keys in a malevolent manner. He blasted the squad and Shadow Hunters off the stage, and the staircase disappeared. Typically, it wouldn't hurt to get back onto the dais by climbing. However, a force field emanated across the edge of the stage. Case in point, Drakus tested to see if he could reach Thad, but the paranormal wall shocked his fingers.

"Yow! That stings!" he shook his hand.

"Ha ha ha!" Wolfgeist chuckled. "Prepare for a performance that will make you rise up from your seat. That is, if you could find one..."

"What are you insinuating?" Melody wondered as she watched him play.

Suddenly, the top-left row of chairs floated in the air, spooking Luigi. A few more rows rose from their spots before they started spinning around. Before Luigi or the others could tell what was going on, the first set of chairs plunged towards the green plumber. He didn't react in time and got knocked down by the unexpected move.

"Luigi!" Dove cried out. She was about to head over to help him, but she saw the other seats home in on her. The princess rushed off to the side while Biscuit turned invisible to avoid the third set.

By the time they smashed onto the floor, more of the chairs flew several feet in the air. The process repeated as Amadeus eagerly ran his hands over the piano keys. As he sped up the tempo, the chairs soared very quickly at the heroes. Luckily for Raiden, he got up in time and leapt from the crashes. The purple pianist tried to trick them by slowing the melody for a few seconds. Moments later, he swiped his hands from side to side as the remaining seats went in various directions to fool the squad.

Bambietta was the first to attack. She folded her wings over her body and then unfolded them, letting out hundreds if not thousands of tiny explosive blasts, only half of which actually hit her target. The rest slammed into the stage.

Melody spectated everything from her side of the bench. Admittedly, she didn't think Dove was a bad person, especially when she fought her in the Conservatory of the first mansion. It wasn't like they were good acquaintances though. She merely shrugged and decided to join Amadeus who was in the middle of his chair attack.

Once all of the chairs were gone, the Auditorium was bare aside from the bags of popcorn, soda cups, and piles of broken planks, cushions, and dust. Luigi took a breather as he wiped some sweat off his forehead. Saiko went over to check on him.

"You okay?" she sounded concerned. Biscuit approached them as well, cringing at the bruise he saw on his owner's left cheek.

"Augh... It felt like my jaw snapped or something."

"You even have a mark on there," Saiko caressed the spot, causing him to flinch. "Ooh, sorry."

"No, it's okay," he gently rubbed it.

"Bah, you're still alive?" Wolfgeist groaned in disapproval. He stretched his arms forward and cracked his fingers. "No matter. Time for my second act of the night. Maybe you'll get a kick out of the show. Or maybe I'll kick you out of my stage."

"What does that supposed to mean?" Mystle remarked.

Amadeus didn't answer her question as he began playing a new piece.

"Ah, yes. Time for the ballet recital," Melody noticed a few ghosts hiding behind the curtain. "Well, there's no need for me to join because it's all about the high-pitched notes. The stage is yours, Mr. Wolfgeist."

"Such a condescending tone. Were you trying to be sarcastic?"

"Maybe. Maybe not," she gawked at her nails.

Amadeus, despite not having any pupils, rolled his eyes as he continued. From the sides, there was a Goob with an eye mask and a tutu around his waist. He twirled around on stage while a Greenie appeared on the other side, sporting the same attire. The ghosts did some pirouettes and a couple of grand jetés. Eventually, they glided away from the piano, passing the permeable barrier.

Volvagia held still long enough for Ruby to get a bead on him, blasting a round of lightni dust into his head. With a screech, he dove back into the stage.

Lugnut warily charged up his POKE, watching the flames. Volvagia emerged, only to freeze momentarily in horror as he recognized the intent.

"What the-?!"

There was a massive crack, as Lugnut brought the fist down right on his skull. Volvagia uttered a gurgle of agony, flopping weakly to the floor.

"Ooh." Dodongo cringed. "That was a nasty one."

Volvagia slowly began dragging himself back towards the stage, clutching his head in agony, only to choke again, as King stomped on his neck.

"Hi." He grinned at the dragon, pressing down. "Not a fan of you."

"Kill… You…" Volvagia hissed. He pushed up viciously. Much to everyone's surprise, Dodongo was actually lifted into the air somewhat. With a twist, the dragon freed himself, shooting towards the ceiling of the wall, and grinned down hatefully, beginning to slam his tail into the roof.

"Those ghosts won't be blinded by the light if they have those masks on," E. Gadd commented. "You can either suck them up or do a Burst when you're nearby!"

"It's almost like they're wearing sunglasses, so it's nothing new. We just have to keep an eye on our surroundings so nothing will get us from behind," Furina gripped the hose of the Poltergust Z-00.

"Baxbtieatm! Call out your attack when you use it!" Coomer exclaimed.

"What? Why? That's stupid! That's just giving the enemy a chance to react! That's dumber than just standing around and waiting for your enemy to power up while he screams like a maniac!"

"I read somewhere that if you call out your attack, it's ten to a thousand times stronger," Coomer said.

"Really? Okay let me try again," Bambietta said and did the same motion as before just as the ghosts was rearing up to attack her. "Red Cobra Barrage!"

This time, the blasts increased by the size of a shopping cart, and the explosions were that much more intense. The ghosts were turned to mere dust.

"Ooooh, nice!" Cinadexc admired. "Let me try that." She wound up her arm with a beach ball sized ball of lightning in her hand. "Pitcher's Thunderbolt!" She zapped Volvagia with her attack just as he was getting back up, electrifying his entire body and sending him to the ground.

"Agh! Cinadexc! You have to start all of your attacks with Yellow Roc, otherwise it isn't as effective," Krell told her.

"What? That's stupid! Where did you hear that?"

Krell held up a small booklet that said Beginner's Guide to Being a Magical Girl. "I read the instruction manual."

As they got closer, Dove used a Burst to get rid of their masks. With their eyes unveiled, the two were able to shine their Strobulbs on the enemies. Furina caught the Goob while Dove focused on the Greenie. Simultaneously, Amadeus sped up the music whenever they started draining the ghosts' health. A couple slams onto the floor were sufficient to trap them in their Poltergusts.

By then, a new set of ghosts gyrated onto the stage. They were Ghost Guys, some Shy Guy-like ghosts who also wore masks to conceal their faces for obvious reasons.

"We'll have to suck off the masks if we want to shine the light on them," Dove clarified. "I hate to invade their privacy, but that's the only way we can defeat them."

"I wonder if these guys have faces like the normal Shy Guys."

"Trust me. You don't want to see what they look like from behind," he recalled the one time he saw his true appearance during a tennis tournament.

The more ghosts they defeated, the more frustrated Amadeus became. He didn't say a word because he didn't want to stop the music. Yet it was difficult to keep a straight face when the squad was ruining his show.

After all of the dancers were trapped, Amadeus turned to the squad in disgust. "Why?! Why are you still here?!"

"Hey, it's not our fault the ghosts were harmless ballerinas," Roman countered. "Besides we needed to clear the area so it's not infested!"

"The only ones infesting my stage are you inhumane rascals!" Wolfgeist banged his fists against the keys. The loud, discordant sound made everyone jump. Additionally, his hair and aura turned into an inferno as his temper boiled.

"My goodness, Amadeus. Keep yourself in control," Melody tried to calm him down.

"I don't need your input!" he pointed a finger at her. "I think it's time for these fools to face the music – literally!"

Slamming the ivory keys once more, Amadeus furiously opened the lid and flew inside the grand instrument. At this point, Melody thought he was turning into a loose cannon.

"What are you doing?" Melody asked, as Amadeus peeked his head at her.

"I should be asking you that question!"

"I'll put you under, weaklings!" Monsoon yelled, tearing parts of the stage off in a magnetic whirlwind.

"Who lives like this?!" Camille yelled, dodging the piano keys and stage parts being shot at the squad.

"We do, surprisingly." Drakus remarked.

"It seems like I'll have to take my final bow!" she realized her fate. In a few seconds, the female spirit fled into the 5000, preferring to come quietly.

"That's one down!"

"Good job, Dove!" Furina called from the other side of the room.

That left Amadeus Wolfgeist, who couldn't care less about Melody's loss, Volvagia, and Monsoon as the Auditorium started falling around them thanks to Monsoon, Volvagia, and Amadeus trying to destroy the squad.

"Those Foot Bots don't come cheap, you know," Shredder snapped, as debris flattened many of the soldiers. "GRRRRRR! STOP WRECKING MY FOOT BOTS!" Shredder stomped his hooves in a temper tantrum.

"Wreck this, Cheese Grader!" Drakus remarked

"What?" Shredder asked, as Drakus suddenly tackled him with a dropkick. "You'll pay for that!"

"He's bringing the whole place down!" Gohma screeched, leaping from side to side to evade the rain of boulders, dragging Barinade along with her.

"Oh mercy…" They muttered.

"Kill… You… All…" Volvagia giggled maniacally, lashing his hair and talons about, firing off great gouts of flame.

The whole room shook, and all eyes slowly turned upwards.

The roof crumbled, then sank slightly.

"Whuh-oh." Dodongo mumbled nervously, backing towards the edge of the chamber.

"Hmm?" Volvagia looked upwards. "That's odd. It didn't happen before."

The roof crumbled inwards a bit further. "...Uhhh…"

Lyre yelped as debris fell on her as her left arm got pinned under the rubble, same as Yang. "Just because she's not here anymore doesn't mean that we're at a disadvantage! I'll get my revenge on you misfits! Prepare for your last act!" Amadeus cackled.

"What happened?" Raiden asked as he dodged some more piano keys.

"What does it look like!?" Lyre screamed.

Ridley took a look at the debris. "There's no way we can get this off."

Raiden looked at his sword. and then sighed. "This might sting."

"What is?" Yang asked.

Drakus just helped Lyre and Yang to brace. "Try not to move."

Lyre looked concerned, but that concern was soon replaced by pain as Raiden sliced off Lyre and Yang's arms right where they were trapped, as Drakus used some fire to cauterize the wounds.

"You okay, babe?" Ruler asked, as Yang chuckled.

"That's gonna suck for my fighting style... At least things can't get much worse." Yang remarked. "And I've still got one good arm."

"I'll say..." Lyre growled, rubbing where her arm was. "These stains aren't coming out anytime soon..."

Smirking, Furina ran up to him and flashed the Strobulb. Dove went over to assist her, as they both tugged on his tail and dress shirt. They collaborated with multiple double slams until Amadeus lost his energy to escape. Half of his body was stuck in the Z-00, as Yang pummeled Monsoon through a portal.

"Drat! I'll never forgive you for this!" Despite his resentment, he gave a formal bow before allowing himself to get sucked inside. As Furina's vacuum shook, a new elevator button extracted out of the hose and landed in the middle of the Auditorium, as the Shadow Hunters ran off.

Baxbtieatm quickly gave Volvagia a quick slash with her sword. And Volvagia's head rolled off.

"OW! Oh you little rat!" the head screeched.

"Ah… I guess since Volvagia was always evil, even without Wattles-magic, he's just kind of a head now." Chris remarked.

"Alas poor Yorick." Ridley hummed, scooping the head up mockingly. Volvagia snapped at him, but without a body, he seemed unable to belch flame or ignite his hair.

"I'll kill you! I'll kill you all!" He screamed as the blue light began to engulf and surround them.

END BGM

"Oh, bravo!" Furina picked up the collectible. It shined brightly with a '6' marked on it.

"Cool! Now we can rescue Thad!"

Furina and Dove walked onto the stage without any hazards in their way. The former shined the Dark-Light onto the portrait for a few seconds until the Toad emerged out of his prison.

"Wah!" the mushroom retainer squealed while landing on his head. "Ow! That's the second time I've landed like that. At least my head acts as a cushion."

"Are you okay, bud?" Daphne leaned over to check on him.

"Huh? Hey, guys! You saved me!" he jumped into Roman's arms with glee.

"Oh!" the man caught him, nearly falling backward. Adam chuckled at the sight. "Y-You're welcome, midget. Good to see that you're fine," he set the retainer down.

"I sure am, thanks to you!" He then looked over to where Dove stood. "Whoa, Dove! I didn't expect to see you here. Now that I mention that, why are you here in The Last Resort?"

"Long story." Dove said.

---

Inside Hellen's room, Reaper, also known as Matthew Chappel, was sitting in front of a display of monitors, observing the confident smiles on the squad. He didn't mirror their expressions. It was the complete opposite.

A Goob and a Greenie wearing hotel hats were floating on the other side of the desk. Although they couldn't see his face, they could tell from his body language that he was enraged. They made a couple sounds to each other before they got interrupted by their boss's ally.

"I can hear you, so stop," he ordered calmly as he aimed his rifles at them. "Hellen told you and the other ghosts to keep the Shadow Strikers and X-Squad from finding that Floor 15 button. Yet, you pests couldn't do anything! Not even the Portrait Ghosts are contributing. They were too busy playing some ballerina recital, for fuck's sake! I am not a patient man, so get SOMEONE to stop them, or else!"

The ghosts immediately understood as they nervously exited the vault.

Hellen's fingers curled that her nails were scratching her Polterkitty a bit too hard. The feline felt her owner's hands phase through her, yet she remained in her owner's lap.

"Hrrgh... I'm sick of that dirty ninja wannabe and his overzealous pals sucking up my staff members. If this continues to be a trend, I'm going to lose it!" she dug her nails through her pet.

"Hellen, your blood pressure's acting up." Polterkitty remarked. Shaking her head, she hopped off her lap and went over to her bowl, drinking some milk. Glancing back at the purple ghost, Hellen was still transfixed on her televisions. The cat stared in disapproval before she rested on a separate chair.

"Is she really up to the task of capturing the X-Squad and Valkyries?" Wattles asked himself. "I'm starting to have my doubts. I'll give her some more chances, but I won't be easy on the fraulein if she's consistently fruitless."

He used his own wizardry to summon a valuable object. It was the painting that had the Mario and Luigi of this universe trapped inside. His frown soon curved up into a malicious smile.

"At least I still have you. It's satisfying to know that I can handle your shenanigans better than the Koopa tyrant. All I need now is the X-Squad, and your signature."

---

Meanwhile, Shredder was pissed. "You let them get away, you dunderheaded dummies!"

"Okay, what's up with all the insults, dude?" Kronos asked. "This ain't 1987 anymore, we have rights, Shredder. We're basically a villains union." he added.

"Yeah. It ain't nice to go name calling," Birch said, as she confronted the two new recruits, "What if I said you look like a bad mix between Tantor and a cheese grader? And you look like a sumo with a brain for a belt buckle?"

Krang growled, "Enough with the name calling! It's getting us nowhere. We have to hunt down that insufferable X-Squad."

"Or bait them out with pizza!" Shredder suggested, only to receive odd looks from the others, especially from C'hrell, "What? That usually works."

"And this, this is why you'll never be as good as Funkfreed..." Spandam groaned.