"Comander's log. During my first visit on the Citadel I was asked by a concerned citizen named Garoth regarding his brother, Captain Willem of the M.S.V Majesty. His ship had gone missing, and I was keeping an eye out for him. We have just entered the Strenuus system, and our scanners are showing the vessel abandoned in orbit of our next destination. Xawin is another frigid snow planet. I'm going to take an away team to investigate both the ship and the planet. I hope to find out what happened to the crew. Hopefully they're still alive. I'll keep you posted. Sheppard out," I finished my morning mission log.
While my morning was pretty chill, Garrus on the otherhand was having a difficult time getting used to his female crewmates. He stood in line for the replicator behind several girls. They all looked soft and smelled really nice. He saw a little bit of me in each of them.
"Good morning, Garrus," one of my engineer girls went passed him with her tray.
"Good morning, Lilly," he replied as he stared awkwardly. All of them were so tiny compared to him. They had figures he would take in with a quick glance. After he got his food he looked for a place to sit down. The Mess Hall was full of pretty Human girls, talking, giggling, and taking tiny bites with their small mouths. He gulped as he pondered where it'd be appropriate to sit.
"Hey Garrus, come sit with us," Kaiden invited him over. He sat down with with his tray. "What's wrong, big guy? Why so tense?"
"All of these Human girls. I don't understand how you guys function around them," he bantered.
"Garrus, I'm surprised. You like Human girls, you must be a man of good taste. Is there anyone in particular?" Alenko pressed him. Garrus didn't want to reveal that aspect of himself.
"There's no one," he outright lied. "What about you?" he asked Kaiden. Kaiden's companions started joking with him.
"Alenko has it bad for the Commander," one of them disclosed.
"Really?" Garrus asked, nervously hiding any truth from his face. He listened carefully in silent composure.
"Shut up!" Kaiden called out his friend. "Yeah, I don't know if I have a chance or not, but I'll shoot my shot one of these days," he smiled in hopeful bliss.
Garrus felt terribly for him, knowing my inclination towards Turians, and him in particular. He didn't feel threatened, but he wondered how I felt about it. He thought it'd be nice if I turned him down before he found out about us. If Ashley could put two and two together, what is keeping the rest of the ship from finding out?
"What, uh, do you favor the most about her?" he satisfied his morbid curiosity at the poor man's sake.
"I think she's beautiful in uniform. She has that hard exterior, but I bet she looks extrondinary with her hair down," Garrus listened to him echo his own thoughts. It was uncanny. That was something that turned him on specifically.
The table went quiet when I came out of my cabin. I saw Garrus and walked over there. "Good morning," I greeted them, interupting their secret boy conversation.
"Good morning, Commander. What's on the itinerary for the day?" Kaiden took charge.
"I'm forming a party to investigate the M.S.V Majesty," I dropped.
"I'll go," he volunteered.
"Sure. Wanna come, Garrus?" I locked eyes with him.
"I can probably make the ship, but I do have a call I have to take later. So I might not be down for Xawin," Garrus turned me down halfway. I had gotten spoiled to taking him everywhere I went. This put a damper on my day.
"A call?" I pried.
"Yeah, my sister. I get a call from her about once a month," he explained.
"Alright, well you guys can meet me on the bridge whenever you're ready to investigate an abandoned ship," I left them in peace. The guys all watched in silence, waiting for me to get into the elevator before they resumed their conversation.
"She was pretty nice to old Garrus, over there," Kaiden's friend razzed him.
"Didn't seem out of the ordinary," he tried diffusing the situation.
"What do you think about her, Garrus?" Kaiden put him on the spot. If he could sweat bullets, he would have.
"I respect the Commander. She leads her team well," he attempted to have a platonic opinion of me. "What do you know about her?" he siezed the opportunity to learn more about me.
"She grew up on generation vessels. She's always been in space. I don't know if she's ever had a relationship or not. She survived her first hard batttle on Akuze. I don't know much about it except for the rumors. I heard her entire company was lost in some sort of nefarious setup," Kaiden spilled.
"She is good at thinking on her feet, as I've experienced," Garrus gloated.
I waited for them in the cockpit with Joker. "There she is, the M.S.V Majesty," he announced as he scooted up to his console. "Damn! she looks pretty beat up. What do you think, Commander, pirates?"
"External damage on the port side. Looks like boarding, so I wouldn't roll it out. Hey," I smiled at Garrus. "You guys ready to check out a ghost ship?"
"Ready when you are, Commander," Kaiden answered first. Garrus noticed he was trying very hard to maintain my attention. When he thought about it, he didn't have to do anything to garner my attention. My face lit up when he simply entered the room. It made him feel secure against all doubt.
"Pull us in," I instructed Joker to move in on the Majesty. The three of us entered sanitation, and boarded the ship.
"Life support is turned off," Kaiden warned us upon arrival.
"Killed outright under their noses," Garrus put together.
"A spy if I had to guess. Let's see if their supplies are still in tact," I checked a wall map for the locations of Med Bay, Docking Bay, and the Cockpit. We took the elevator to the Crew Deck, as the Medical Bay was located on the Crew Deck like with the Normandy.
"I read your report on the Noveria mission, Commander. Rachni, that's pretty rough," Alenko made conversation.
"Oh, you know I've faced larger, tougher shit. Racni has nothing on Thresher Maws. You know I escaped a nest on foot, right? My company lost the mako on Akuze," I told them my story.
"Impressive," Garrus greatly approved of my exploits.
"How the hell did you manage that?" Alenko was intrigued.
"I unloaded mine and my company's clips," I spoke frankly.
"You stood and fought them head on," Garrus inquired, eager to hear more.
"Running was pointless. Jesse was my best friend all through academy. I watched her try to run away and a Thresher Maw went after her. I still hear her screams. Each time I looted one of their weapons it felt like I was avenging them. Heaven help whoever staged that. I plan on dealing with them personally," I finished up as I got off the elevator. "Medical Bay is this way," I led the way. The doctor laid dead on the floor.
"He didn't stand a chance," Garrus felt sorry for him.
"Dr. Chakwas will appreciate his logs for their buero," I took a flash drive from his computer.
"The medical supplies are all in tact," Alenko pointed out.
"Let's check the Docking Bay," I led them back to the elevator.
"Comander, it's terrible what you went through," Kaiden offered me his sympathy as the elevator started going down.
"It's okay. I've stabilized since then. That experience is what brought me here, leading you guys. I heard Captain Anderson picked me especially," that knowledge swelled me with pride.
"I definately trust someone who can fight their way out of a Thresher Maw nest," Garrus flattered me.
"Thanks, I try," I hid my smile away from them. When we got off the elevator the Docking Bay was full of supplies. Nothing had been touched. "That's strange," I loaded back into the elevator.
"That rolls out pirates," Alenko pointed out.
"I want to find the Captain's body before we leave," I activated the elevator to take us up.
"It's starting to really look like foul play," Garrus agreed with my theory.
"Exacly," I led the way back to the Cockpit. "He's not here," I checked all around the bridge.
"Ship's scanners show a trail to Xawin. I think you'll find your attackers down there," Garrus operated the ship's console.
"We're done here," I led the way back to the Normandy. After santitation I walked into the Cockpit with my helmet off. I let out a sigh. It was nice to have fresh air for a moment. "Alenko get Ashley in the mako, and we'll head down there," I dismissed him.
"Yes ma'am," he left me alone with Garrus.
"I was meaning to ask you how that went," Garrus mentioned to me.
"How what went? My confrontation with Ashley? I think we're getting along. It took beating the shit out of each other to start talking again. Why? What's on your mind?" I pressed him.
"I feel like it's my fault," he admitted.
"Don't think that. You did nothing wrong," I fussed over him.
"There's something you should know about Kaiden," he prepped me.
"What is it?" I was none the wiser.
"The poor fool is in love with you," he laughed.
"What? How do you know?" I was skeptical.
"He told me this morning," I could tell he was enjoying himself.
"Why are you telling me this? You don't think I'd-?"
"No, I know you wouldn't, but he's my friend, and I think you should reject him formally before he gets his heart broken," he got all noble on me.
"That's not exactly an easy conversation to have. I'll try to get around to it," I scratched my head nervously.
"You guys know I'm right here, right? Sounds like you got a little romantic drama going on, eh Commander?" Joker picked at me.
"I'll talk to you later. I have to take that call from my sister," Garrus dismissed himself. I gave Joker a mean look.
"What? I won't say anything," he backpeddaled.
"You better not," I started to punch his shoulder. He flinched, throwing his arms up.
"No, don't hit me, Commander! I have Vrolik syndrome. If you hit me it could shatter my shoulder," he fussed about.
"You better not say anything, Moreau," I affectionately messed up the top of his hair.
"So you and Garrus, huh? How does that work?" he persisted.
"Don't you worry about it. I have a mission to go on," I started to leave the Cockpit.
"I'll just ask Garrus, since you're being so secretive," he threatened from afar. I made my way back to the elevator to take it down into the Cargo Bay where I met up with Ashley and Kaiden.
"Ash, you cool with driving? I'll take guns this time," I hopped into Garrus' seat.
"It'll be a nice change of pace from riding in the back. Sorry Alenko," Ashley felt remorse for putting him back there.
"That's alright. I'll do my best to gage the battlefield," he was an opportunist, I'd give him that. He seemed to make the most out of any situation. I couldn't imagine going out of my way to reject him unless he really warranted it. I kept it on my mind for Garrus' sake. Ashley took point at the driver's seat and Alenko sat behind me.
"We're ready, Joker. Take us in," I called him on the mako comn system.
"Yes, ma'am. Be ready to drop in ten," he prompted me.
"What did you guys find on the Majesty?" Ashley asked.
"I'm thinking mercenaries. It looked like a personal job. What do you think, Alenko?" I asked him.
"I'm wondering who would have hired them," he pondered, his chin rested on curled fingers.
"I picked an ideal drop point with a few spots for you to check out," Joker called me back on the mako comn.
"Perfect, take us in," I answered him.
"Seatbelts, everyone. It's drop time," Joker warned us ahead of time. Everyone buckled up for the landing. "Everyone ready?" Joker confirmed.
"All set," I gave him the go ahead.
"Now entering drop zone, and dropping," Joker opened the Cargo Bay doors beneath us and released us into the air. We fell at high speed.
"Land incoming," I warned Ashley.
"Activating nitrous powered hydrologics," Ashley hit the blue button, slowing our fall just as we approached the surface. We hit the snow bank in a plesant bounce.
"Atta girl. Ten out of ten," I praised her. There was a howling whirlwind outside as the frigid planet tried to get at us. "Let's see what destination points Joker marked for us," I opened the navigation interface. "Looks like the mercenary base is north of our current position. There's an Iridium deposit just southeast of where we are now. You want to hit that first?" I asked Ashley.
"Sitting a course for southeast," Ashley turned the mako around, and started heading southeast for the Iridium deposit. The mako bounced gently along the bunny slopes of Xawin. "Another snow planet, Commander," Ashley complained.
"I'm letting you drive," I attempted to reason with her.
"What is that? A vehicle?" she crept towards the object engulfed in snow. It was an abandoned snow mobile. Around the other side was a corpse next to a marker.
"He died sitting up a marker," I pointed out.
"Poor bastard," Alenko remedied. He got out with me when I went to mine the deposit. He was over by the poor guy, sitting up the beacon for him. "There you go," by the time I finished with the Iridium deposit he already had a grave made and everything.
"You'd go out of your way like that for someone you don't know?" I questioned him. I didn't mean to come off as patronizing, but I found it strange.
"He died in the line of duty. It's a very noble act," Kaiden admired the man's dedication in a covetous way.
"Oh, I guess you're like that too," I pointed out without really thinking about what I was saying.
"By too, I assume there's someone else to compare to," he pointed out the error in my statement.
"Um, a good friend of mine is that way," I thought up a quick lie.
"Could it be there's someone special in your life, Commander?" he asked so eloquently. His accousation caught me off guard. My cheeks burned bright red behind my helmet.
"Me? Oh no. How about you?" I wasn't very good at maneuvering such social mine fields. I accidently made it look like I had interest.
"No one at the moment. There is someone I'm rather taken by," he laid on rather thick.
"That's nice. We should probably get back to the mako," I cut the conversation short. We hurried back to the mako.
"I wonder why he died like that," Ashley pondered.
"The mercenaries must not have wanted to share their precious minerals," I guessed. "There's a crashed probe west of us. Let's check that out," I gave Ashley the green light. She took us back over slopes of snow. The wind outside rushed and beat against the mako in silence.
"Think we'll have a run-in with Thresher maws?" Alenko asked me.
"I hope not. I wouldn't think there would be any on an ice planet," I doubted.
"Would it bother you, facing them again?" Ashley asked curiously.
"I don't know. I guess we'll find out sooner or later," I thought about it. I had dreams about Thresher maws sometimes. It was hard not to think about them after enduring a survival match against so many.
We came to vast plains of snow. The probe was in the middle of the plains. The vastness at such a low point made me suspecious. I checked navigation. There were no readings, just the snow outside. Ashley steadily made her way to the probe. Out of nowhere a Thresher maw gored the side of the mako, turning the vehicle over.
Back on the ship Garrus was accepting a call in the Comn room from his sister. A petite little Turian lady, baring the same Insignia as Garrus appeared before him. "Arel, hey. You look great. Where are you? What city is that?" he observed a bustling city behind her.
"Sorry, I'm calling from a holo booth. I'm in Melowa with a friend on shore leave. Mom told me you left C-sec and are in space now. It says you're on a ship called, Norm-?" she attempted to read Human jibberish.
"The Normandy, that's right," he didn't disclose no more than he had to.
"Father said it was a Human vessel. He is awfully furious with you. I know a big part is your abrupt resignission from C-sec. I think there's something else, but he won't tell me. Are you okay, Garrus? You're not in any trouble?"
"Me? Nah! I'm not in any trouble. I'm glad to be here," he smiled. He thought of seeing me in passing, having the privledge to speak to me regularly. He couldn't imagine being anywhere else.
"It's pretty serious, Garrus. He said you guys aren't talking," she contradicted him.
"You know how stubborn he is. I'm his son whether he likes it or not. He can't be mad forever," he tried to alieviate her concerns. "What about you, baby sister? How are the colonies coming along?" he aluded to her work.
"We've successfully brought agriculture to three planets in the Serpant Nebula. It's pretty gratifying work," she enthused.
"I can imagine," Garrus fathomed.
"May I ask, why did you leave the Citadel?" she pried.
"I was tired of the corruption," he started.
"I know, you meddled again. Father calls it meddling," she inturrupted.
"It's not meddling. It's investigation. I never could understand why rules applied to some, but not to others," there was an irritated passion to his words.
"Right, he said you were out with a Human spectre, taking the law into your own hands. I don't know how you fell into such a crowd. I don't really know what I think of Humans. They have so much to learn. You live amonst them. What do you think about them?" she asked.
"They're alright. Some have their grudges. Can't say I blame them. Some of them are really accepting," he said vaguely.
"Well, I should really get going. I'm hoping this fued between you and father doesn't last. I think he'd accept you reguardless of anything. Unless you did something crazy like bring a Human girl home," she caught his attention.
"Yeah, thank goodness I'd never do that," he avoided eye contact.
"You take care of yourself, brother. Maybe stop by if you're ever out this way," she invited him.
"Thanks, will do. I love you," he said.
"I love you brother, goodbye."
"Bye," he hungup after her. It had been over a month since he said those words to someone and let them know what they meant to him. As he thought about it he realised he hadn't said as much to me, not with words anyway. He thought there would be an ideal time for that and he'd find a way to make it most memorable.
When I came to I was hanging over Ashley. We had been flipped on our left side. "Not a word," I warned them, staring them dead in the eyes so that I knew they understood me. Carefully, I unsnapped my seatbelt. I caught myself around Ashley's seat, and helped her out. Kaiden managed on his own. "We don't have long. We need to get away from the mako," I climbed out of my door and Kaiden climbed out of his. He helped me pull Ashley out through my door.
"First priority is drawing it away from the vehicle," I led them away in a fast walk.
"Let me do it. I can use my biotics to increase my chances of survival, and draw it away," Kaiden volunteered.
"Alenko, I'm no good with tech stuff," I admitted.
"She always makes Garrus do it," Ashley prodded at me.
"It's easy, Commander. Just flip it over and run dignosis. It'll fix itself. You got this. You ladies get back to the vehicle," he started running in the opposite direction.
"Damnit Alenko, this is my team!" I cursed him as he fired off his weapon to get the Thresher maw's attention. "Shit! Come on Ashley! We got to move! Now!" we hauled ass back to the mako.
"There's a chain on the back!" Ashley guided me to the back where the chain was. We ran it underneath and up and over it. We clipped the chain to our waists, and together we pulled. In the distance of the snowy plains I could see Alenko drawing in the Thresher maw with his gun fire. As it hurled towards him he used his biotics to repel himself into the air to safety.
Turning the mako over with just the two of us was an exhausting feat of strength. We got it rocking. Then finally it tilted over with a plesant thud. I interacted with the interface, and selected the option to troubleshoot anything that needed fixed. After a few minutes everything came back online. Ashley took the wheel, and I jumped in the passanger's side.
She barreled straight for the worm. I fired off a few machine rounds. The noise was enough to get it off of Alenko. It let off a dreadful shriek when I hit it. It started coming after us. "Shit! Here it comes!" Ash turned around and hit the gas.
"Nitrous, Williams!" I ordered her. She hit the nitrous, and we were able to get a lead on it. "Jump!" on my mark she activated the hydrollocs. She managed to jump out of the way as it came up. I gave it everything I had. I hit it with one round of rockets, and followed it up with more machine rounds. It squealed in pain, and took a dive. It's feelers potruded from the snow, attacking us, and Alenko on the ground as well. We did what we could with gun fire. Alenko had more than his share on the ground. We helped him when we got a moment, and cleared the rest out. "Get in!" we stopped to pick him up.
The Thresher came for us again. Ashley followed the same tactics as before. She used nitrous to get ahead and jumped before it rose. When it came up again I nailed it with my rockets. The beast flopped over the side of the hole it created. I took a breath. "Great job everyone. We didn't lose the mako, we're alive, we felled a Thresher maw," I praised them.
"I can't believe it," Kaiden took a excited breath.
"I never would have guessed a Thresher would be on a snow planet," Ashley remarked.
"That was a pretty fun fight, right?" I looked to them for confirmation.
"Hell yeah!" Ashley yelled.
"Absolutely," Kaiden agreed.
"Great. Just making sure I wasn't crazy for enjoying it. Let's see," I pulled up the navigation map. "There's an annomoly northeast of our position," I ecouraged Ashley.
"Yes ma'am," Ashley started driving that way. We hopped across snowy hills. "What do you guys want to eat when we get back?" Ashley made conversation.
"I've been thinking about breaking out my grill," Alenko proposed.
"You have a grill? I've never had anything grilled before. I hear it's all the rage on Earth," I mentioned.
"What? Commander, you've never eaten grilled food before?" Ashley sounded surprised.
"Well, no. I was raised on a science vessle, Chief," I reminded her.
"You're in for a real treat, Commander. There are flavors that the grill brings out in food, and you're in luck. I happen to know my way around it. Speaking of which, I didn't see you eat this morning," he scolded me.
"Right? You're making me hungry," I watched the nav screen as we approached our destination. Ashley went around the corner to the left passed a bank of snow. A piece of rubble appeared aroung the bin.
"This won't take long, Commander," Ashley volunteered to investigate. Alenko got out with her. "I don't need any help, Alenko," she acted independently.
"I'm curious, and I wanted to ask you something," he joined her as a tag-along.
"It looks Turian. Some sort of anchient probe. There's an encryption, maybe you'll be useful after all," she submitted.
"I can decrypt it," he got to work on the probe's inerface.
"What did you want to ask me?" she braced herself for something stupid.
"I was just thinking you and the Commander seem close," he accused her.
"What in the world would give you that idea?"
"I haven't seen her talk to other girls on the ship. She seems so closed off," he was preoccupied.
"I mean, she put me in the infirmary yesterday, but whatever. Sure, we're best girl friends. Why?" she grew more irritated.
"Well, you guys talk. I was wondering what you could tell me about her that I don't already know?" he asked boldly.
"You poor bastard. You like her don't you?" she chastised him.
"Is it that obvious? I got it," he extracted the information onto his omnitool.
"I don't know what you see in her. She's a total bitch. You know she's with someone," she took the wind out of his sails.
"Really? Who is she seeing?" he pressed.
"I shouldn't say," she started back for the mako.
"Awe, come on Ashley," he insisted.
"Alenko, this is a level one hazard. We need to get inside," she shut him up by climbing back in. Alenko got in after her.
"What do we have?" I asked them.
"Looks like an old Turian freighter. The information was labled under Chatti Outpost," Alenko opened the file in a holographic display.
"Oh, neat. There's a Turian Insignia," I enthused about the image on the file.
"Oh, yeah. I guess that's what it is," he made it sound not that obvious.
We made our way east up snowy cliffs. We had detected an abandoned camp. The computers remained, but the power was shut off. Ashley and Alenko got out again. I was begining to feel left out. Alenko worked on the generator outside. "Come on, Ashley. Tell me," he pestered her.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," she lamented to herself her perception of my poor choices.
"Is he on Earth, in the Alliance, on the Normandy?" he bombarded her.
"Why does it matter? You're not going to continue pursuing her?" Ashley couldn't imagine anyone being that foolish.
"Nothing lasts forever. Relationships end, Ashley," he said opptomistically.
"Damn, Alenko. That's dark, coming from you. I don't think you realize what a lost cause she is," she tried to warn him.
"Is she that bad off?" he got the generator back running. "Oh, lights are on," he said playfully.
"Kaiden, I didn't want to tell you or anyone about this. The truth is her romantic desicions have put an eunormous strain on our relationship. Have you noticed how withdrawn she has been around the crew?"
"Yeah, I just thought she had a limited circle," he followed her to the computers.
"She's like that because she's turned her back on mankind. She's a Turian lover," Ashley tattled on me.
"Wait, she's dating Garrus? That slick bastard. We were just talking about how he was attracted to Human women. He played dumb when I mentioned liking the Commander. Damn, that's rough," he tried to focus on extracting the data from the computers.
"You see though? She's a lost cause," she tried to discourage him.
"Garrus isn't so bad. We hangout," he came to his defense.
"You poor fool. You're a bigger person than I am. I can't accept it. There's too many problems," she chuckled light heartedly at him.
"They have problems?" he pried.
"We need to get back to the mako," Ashley urged him. She by no means wanted to discuss the intimate details of mine and Garrus' relationship. She was begining to regret having ever brought it up in the first place. They climbed back into the mako. We hit a mineral deposit north of our position. I got out with Kaiden to stretch my legs.
"What do you want me to put on the grill when we get back?" he asked me.
"I'm thinking some chicken on a bed of rice," I answered him as I mined the ore.
"I heard you and Garrus are having problems," his segway was brutal and jagged.
"Oh, you beat me to it. That'll make it easier to talk about, I guess," I was blind-sighted and emberassed.
"You're not thinking of leaving him?" he pressed me.
"Not at all. He actually had a talk with me after the three of us got back. He said that you're his friend, and I should reject you. It's all very akward for me. I'm sorry, I'm not very good at these things," I finished up mining the ore, paying him my undivided attention.
"Do your worst, Commamder. I won't be detered," he insisted.
"The truth is I was the one who approached him. I've been rather infatuated with Turians ever since we met Nihlus," I admitted.
"Nihlus? Really? That guy was an asshole. Garrus is a lot cooler than him," Kaiden was appauled.
"I thought Garrus was really cute when we first met him at the Citadel. Our relationship isn't perfect. Humans and Turians are very different, but I think that makes it more exciting," the very idea of how dangerous Garrus was made me blush.
"A thrill chaser," he accused me.
"Yeah, I suppose. I'm not big on lables," I shrugged.
"Would you believe I am as well," he related to me.
"Really?" I encouraged him to elaborate.
"It's pretty embarassing. I have a sort of death wish. I want to die in the line of duty. Maybe even while protecting the woman I love," he was pretty intense. His whole decleration caught me off guard.
"I'm sure you'll find such a woman," I turned him down.
"What if I have?" he professed.
"I am the way I am, Alenko. No amount of persistence is going to change that," I started getting irritated.
"Ashley thinks you've turned your back on your own kind," he brought up.
"She's always so uncharitable towards me. If that was true I wouldn't be out here, chasing Saren around. Maybe I do feel displaced among my own people, but I haven't stopped fighting for them. We need to head back to the mako," I reminded him, taking point back towards the mako.
"I still want to be close with you," he trotted through the high snow behind me.
"I can give you friendship, but I'm not leaving Garrus. You shouldn't want that anyway if you're both friends," I suggested before arriving to the mako. I climbed inside before he could implicate himself any further. Inside the mako was much warmer than the bitter Xawin cold outside.
"Looks like there's an ore deposit north of us," Ashley enlightened me.
"Full speed ahead," I agreed with that notion. Ashley took us over vast stretches of icy plains with nothing, but the howling wind outside to break the silence. I thought about what Ashley had sad to Alenko. It made me wonder how little she actually thought of me and whether or not this was going to be a lost cause. Lost cause, which seemed to be the theme of this outing.
It all reminded me of how I had always managed to isolate myself. Perhaps I was too disagreeable, and therefore undeserving of friendships. I wondered if I were so unloveable what would gravitate Garrus toward me. What did Kaiden see in me for that matter. All I could come up with was his attraction wasn't based on actually knowing me to any degree. Ashley made it sound as though I had little merit at all. If that were so why was I even on this planet looking for a man's brother I didn't know?
Something Kaiden had said stuck with me more than the rest. It was that Ashley thought I had turned my back on Human kind. Her accusation got me searching inside of myself to see if there was any truth to it. Before Captain Anderson had pulled me for this mission Alliance High Command had been giving me the run-around over what had actually happened at Akuze. It was as though they were hiding something. I still intended to find out. Maybe my dedication to my superiors and getting shafted had something to do with my estrangeness. Maybe it was my own complications with forming meaningful relationships with my own kin. Men couldn't handle me, and women rarely knew how to take me. I had made friends in my company I lost by just being an enigma the girl's found endearing. Finding me endearing seemed to be an important element in my forming friendships. I didn't get the sense that Ashley felt that way.
I didn't care for this sort of melodrama. I would have prefered spending time with Garrus, talking about mundane little things. His presence brought a comfort that I sorely missed on this mission. I rather enjoyed the way he could read my intentions without my saying anything almost to a comedic degree. I wondered what he was doing at this moment. I wondered how his call with his sister went and wondered vainly whether he mentioned me at all. Was our relationshop something he could speak of easily to his family? I would have hated to have caused a strain between them. Then it occured to me, would I change anything if I had. Could I be selfless for someone I cared about?
"The deposit must be down the revine. We just went past it," Ashley disrupted my thoughts. She took a sharp turn to the left, down a revine between ice cliffs. She pulled up to a cobolt deposit. "If it's alright with you, I'd like to strench my legs out," she volunteered to come with me. I kept her as a gun while I mined and marked the cobolt. I was dying to say something to her.
"You know, Alenko just confessed an attraction to me?" I accused her in a cool, caculated delivery.
"He's a good man, Commander. It'd be a great match," she argued unapologetically. "He's Human, but he wouldn't make you sick. You wouldn't have to worry about his family disapproving of you," I think she would have kept going had I not intervened.
"Chief, I appreciate your interest in my personal affairs, but I've always made a point to do as I please. Just because the two of you will it, doesn't make it so," I stood up for my right to choose.
"I know you think you're in love with Garrus right now, but Kaiden would be so much less trouble. When things get difficult between you, I hope you think about him," she managed to get the last word in. I was disarmed by her tenacity.
"I got the cobolt. We can start heading back. Wanna help me carry this crate?" I invited her over.
"Sure," she lifted the other side and started walking back with me.
"He said you think I've turned my back on Humanity," I needed closure from this accusation.
"Haven't you?" she defended her accusation so candidly.
"That's not fair, Ashley. That's not fair at all. What do you think I'm doing out here? Why the fuck am I on another ice planet? Tell me Chief!"
"We're hunting Saren, and finding out what happened to the missing Captain's crew," she followed along with my point.
"Okay, so where do you get off saying such cruel things? I could pull rank if I really wanted to, but Garrus was right about me forcing change on you. I think you just let my relationship with him cloud your judgement. You can have these opinions, Chief, but I can't have you going around poisoning the crew against me," I spoke my heart to her. I felt if we were ever going to be friends that would have to be how I handled her.
"I'm not worried about you pulling rank as long as I know your secret. I wonder what Captain Anderson would think about you fraternizing with the crew," she threatened me.
"What would that accomplish? You think tattling on me would earn you a rank? Do you really think I care if I lose mine? You're forgetting, Chief, I'm a spectre now. I seriously doubt the council cares who's dick I'm sucking as long as I bag Saren," I attempted to shock her with my lack of modesty.
"You're so crude," her disgusted expression brought a smile to my face. "As for what the crew will think. I won't have to influence anyone. No one is going to approve. You'll be disappointed if you expect anything else. If I were you, Commander I'd continue trying to keep it to yourself. As terrible as you are at it," once again she got the last word in. After we stored the cobalt we both climbed back in the front of the mako.
"Looks like there's a beacon north of here," I pointed out to her.
"I'll set a course for the beacon," Ashley agreed once she got settled in. The ride out of the ravine was rough. We rocked side to side until we made it out to more hills. We bunny hopped over gentle slopes as we scaled through the snowy mountain scape. "There's the beacon," Ashley said as soon as we were in visual range.
"I'm reading a disturbance," I studied the nav screen. According to it we were surrounded on all sides.
"It's an ambush!" Ashley hit the gas. Four Geth Armatures surrounded us.
"Great, these guys again," I manned my tactical station, by arming my rockets. As Ashley circled around them from the edge of the hill I took my shots with the machine gun. Ashley dodged as one after another they fired plasma rounds. I really hated Armatures. My first volley of rockets were ready. I focused on the closest target as Ashley tail spun around in the ice. My rockets took him out. Three to go.
Ashley focused on drawing their fire to one spot and dodging. The plasma shots were rather slow. Would ruin the shields of course if we got hit. I took another one down with a round of rockets. Ashley started to get more bold. After being at each other's throats this was a welcomed diversion. I definitely enjoyed shooting shit with her. Her maneuvers put even my driving to shame. What was this secret skill of hers? Where did she learn to drive like that? She was doing doughnuts to draw fire and pulling us out in the nick of time. My adrenaline was going so hard, I had forgotten my rockets completely. I took the other two Armatures out with just my machine gun. The two of us smiled at each other forgetting whatever it was we were angry about.
It wasn't lost on Kaiden, who felt left out. "Having fun, ladies?" he reminded us of his presence.
"Chief. Where did you learn to drive like that?" I so hoped she'd answer.
"It's a long story, but I used to race back at home," she said with modesty.
"I'd like to hear more," I pried.
"Maybe some other time," she kept her guard up. "Looks like there's a Palladium deposit on the way to the base," Ashley pointed out.
"Sure, you guys can get it this time. I'm over mining," I assured her it wouldn't be me if she decided to stop there. Just east of our position was another ravine. This time Ashley and Kaiden got out, leaving me in the warm mako. The cold brought on a primal loneliness that made me crave a body to be close to. I thought of savory things as the other two traversed the cold for ore.
"I put in a good word for you Alenko. She wouldn't budge," Ashley mentioned as she set up the marker and began mining the Palladium.
"I spoke to her myself. She said we could stay friends. It's not what I wanted, but I can still be close with her," Kaiden looked at the bright side.
"You're pathetic," Ashley shook her head.
"Haven't you ever been in love? When you really care about someone their happiness is all that matters. She's willing to let me get close and let me protect her. That's all I want to do," he bared his soul to her.
"I think you should give up," she dragged the filled crate. He grabbed the other side for her.
"I don't plan on giving up. I still think I can change her mind," he said optimistically.
"I still think you should give up on her. I have a bad feeling she's going to hurt you and you don't deserve that," Ashley tried to protect him.
"It's a man's right to pick the woman who torments him," he attempted to justify himself to her.
"Foolish! Just foolish!" she repeated over and over as they loaded up the ore. After they loaded we made our way east for the mercenary base. Through bumpy sloped pains and up a mountain peak. Right on the other side was the base, and heavily armed. Their turrets began firing on us right away. Ashley quickly took cover on the other side of the mountain as I prepared our rockets. It looked like six of them stationed around the parameter. I fired the first volley of rockets and took out the turret closest to me.
It was safest taking our time, and hiding out behind the mountain peak while I waited for my rockets to load. We took advantage of the stationary turrets and played peek-a-boo until they were each annihilated.
"Remind me to never piss you ladies off," Kaiden was moved by mine and Ashley's mutual love for destruction. Ashley pulled the mako in and threw it in park. We each got out with our guns drawn, ready for anything. The door provided no cover. We went in with our guns pointed and nothing but a prayer. Cargo bay. We each sighed.
There was another door. We each took cover away from the entrance. I hit the open button, making the door retract. The entire area was protected by lines of cargo. We moved in, crouched behind them, but a mercenary was stationed close by and he saw us. Judging by the fire power, he wasn't alone. It was a gang of Turians, accompanied by Krogan. They overwhelmed the three of us, pinning us down with their gun fire.
It seemed so hopeless. I thought about pulling us out. I kept thinking, not like this. Not without being about to see Garrus again. That's when it hit me that I wanted him to be there were something to happen to me. I would need to be able to hold him in my arms again. I couldn't go out like this. Such a thought disturbed me.
The Krogan began to close in on us. Kaiden used his biotics to keep them back. "Quick! Shoot them!" he held them in place for us. Me and Ashley fired like mad. We'd kill three and more would show up. Kaiden flung them one after another, barely managing to hold our spot by the door. We pushed through, one mercenary at a time.
They were scattered throughout the compound. Me and Ashley took out a couple of Turians, hiding in the back. Kaiden plucked a guy from the top floor with his biotics and shot him with his pistol. All seemed quiet for the moment. We made our way across the room and up a flight of stairs. I got the drop on an Asari mercenary. I shot her executioner style in the back of the head. Inside of the room across the cat walk was Captain Willem's body in the corner of the room. In his hand was a data pad.
"Why did they bring him here?" I pondered.
"Maybe there's something on his data pad," Kaiden suggested.
"We'll bring them both with us. His brother will be thankful to have him back. You can go through the data pad in the meantime," I gave him his orders.
Back on the Normandy I ate my dinner with Garrus in the Mess hall, Alenko's grilled chicken on rice. "How were things down on Xawin?" he asked me.
"Very awkward. I hope you don't plan on sitting out for very many away missions," I took a bite of my green chicken.
"Does taking me along release the tension, or does it facilitate it?" he questioned.
"I felt like I was out numbered. I have Kaiden with his feelings on one side and Ashley snaking me on the other," I complained into my rice.
"If you make it a habit of taking me along people will talk. That's all I'm saying," he tried to warn me. "I don't think Ashley has a priority to keep it a secret."
"She doesn't. I'm sure she told Kaiden. Maybe even when they were out by themselves while we were working. I hate all of this childish drama. How was your call with your sister?" I changed the subject.
"She's doing well, she's on shore leave?"
"What does she do?"
"She sets up agriculture programs on various settlements. She's very proud of what she does," he bragged.
"That does sound nice," my thoughts drifted into a long pause. "Garrus can I ask you something?" I started.
"Sure, anything," he chuckled at how I'd start a question with a question.
"Does your family know about me?" his face dropped the moment I mentioned it. "I mean, I might like to get to know them someday," I only realized in hindsight how big of a step that'd be.
"Where did this come from?" his immediate concern was that his secret conversation with his father somehow made its way to me.
"It was something Ashley said and those Turian thugs who kidnapped me at the Citadel," I admitted.
"You shouldn't listen to anything those Turians said. They just wanted to frighten you," he reached for my left hand.
"They said your family wouldn't approve of me," I finished my thought.
"Ashley said that?"
"Garrus."
"Yes?"
"You're hiding something. You keep avoiding my question. Please tell me," I insisted.
"My sister doesn't know, or my mother. My father has some idea, but Turians are traditionally modest. He'd never tell them about you willingly," what he was telling me was incredibly troublesome. It made me feel terrible.
"Am I something to hide?" I pressed him.
"When you were bed ridden I had no choice, but to contact him for a cure," he hated to admit this to me.
"Did it make him angry?" I asked.
"He wasn't pleased with me, no," he admitted.
"I made him angry with you?" I was mortified.
"He's no father of mine after what he said that day. He thought I should let you die. He said you were a lost cause. Belial, don't cry. We've never really seen eye to eye. I've always done what I wanted, and he hates me for that," he tried to comfort me. "What about your family?"
"I'm going to write my mother a letter," I confessed.
"Do you think she'd approve of me?" he asked frankly.
"I can arrange for you to meet her," I mentioned.
"I'd like that. You know it's a pretty big step, introducing the family to a significant other," he teased me.
"So what?" I looked away from him, turning my focus to my dinner.
"Some cultures see it as a precursor to marriage," he brought up casually.
"That's not funny!" I got flustered. "I'm leaving. I need a shower," I attempted to leave with my tray when he grabbed my wrist. "What?" I protested.
"I didn't want to bring up my father to you. Whatever he says means nothing to me. He can't change my mind about seeing you. Please don't think too much into it. Promise me," he plead to me with sad eyes.
"I promise," I lied. How could I not blame myself for them becoming more distant?
"Good night. You know where to find me if you get lonely," his last statement warmed my heart. I squeezed his hand before letting him go. I left him alone in the Mess hall for Kaiden to ambush him.
"This seat taken?" Alenko asked.
"Nah, I was just finishing up before I go lay down. How was the mission?" Garrus tried to keep the conversation as light hearted as possible.
"Treacherous. We were almost taken out by a thresher maw," Kaiden brought up the big news first.
"Thank goodness you guys made it back safely," Garrus played coy.
"Commander Sheppard didn't tell you about it?" Kaiden asked him.
"It must have slipped her mind," he continued with his coy act.
"I know you guys are seeing each other. Ashley told me," Kaiden called him out.
"She did, did she?" Ashley's behavior was beginning to weigh on his nerves.
"I feel like a fool, the way I went on in front of you," Kaiden expressed his embarrassment.
"Well, I'm sorry that you had to find out the way you did. It wasn't easy for me to convey in front of so many people," even Garrus was to some degree modest from his upbringing.
"How long have you been seeing each other?" Kaiden pressed.
"Since we left the Citadel," he tried to keep the finer details to himself.
"So?" Kaiden pried.
"So what?" Garrus defended.
"What do you think about Human women?"
"Are you asking me about my sexual involvement?" he was caught off guard.
"Well, I imagine Human women must differ from Turian women. I'm asking you man to man, what you think," Kaiden elaborated.
"Well, she's-, they're very soft. Unlike anything I've ever felt before. The smell, the feel of her hair. They're all things I never knew I needed. I feel lucky just to have her tolerate me. She puts up with a lot to make this work. Just a moment ago she was talking about us meeting each other's family. I don't think that will go over well, but I'm flattered all the same. Why? Does that satisfy your own curiosity? What do you think being with her would be like?"
"I don't know. I haven't had the chance to get to know her like you have. I really just wanted to let you know that your trick this morning was really good. You had me going. I never would have pegged you for a player. You might have her now, but it's like you said there's a lot of difficulties that come with maintaining a relationship with you. Should she ever tire of those difficulties I'll be there waiting to remind her where she comes from," Kaiden boldly challenged him.
"You intend to challenge me for her hand," Garrus applauded his tenacity with a smile.
"I won't lose," Kaiden declared.
"I'm not the one you have to worry about. Our Commander has interests of her own. She is rather persistent in those interests as you are towards her. She honestly just really likes Turians. It isn't uncommon for new to space species to become infatuated with others. I have had many conversations with her about underestimating my people in battle. I've even tried to talk her out of pursuing me. She just has her little heart set on me for whatever reason. If I were to have my way, I would rather see her with someone more compatible. I'm afraid all I can bring her is misery. But if there's one thing I've learned about Humans it's how stubborn you all can be. You have to run into walls in order to learn to do better," Garrus revealed to him.
"You're against it?" Kaiden was confused.
"I'm not in her best interest. I'm not even sure it will work out. But I've been raised around inter species relationships even if I was taught to be a puritan. I know how realistically they're likely to fail. You'll find that most Turians are realistic to almost pessimism. She thinks she can will it to work. She cracks me up," he laughed at me.
"Sounds like she could teach you a thing or two about optimism," Kaiden suggested.
"Don't get me wrong. There isn't anything in the entire universe I wouldn't do for that woman. I'll continue to humor her so long as she's willing to tolerate me. If there are no further questions, I'd like to be heading for bed about now," Garrus begged his pardon.
"That's all for now. It's been a pretty crazy day for me as well," Kaiden admitted.
"I imagine so. You have a good night Alenko. I hope this doesn't mean we can't have breakfast together," Garrus looked for reassurance.
"Not at all. We can still hangout. You just better watch your back with the Commander. I'm waiting for you to screw it up," Kaiden threatened.
"I'll be on my guard," Garrus humored him.
"Have a good night, Garrus," Kaiden called before he left.
"Thank you," it meant a lot to Garrus to have the respect of another Human.
I tried so hard to sleep, but the encounter with the thresher maw on Xawin haunted me in my dreams. I woke in a fright with eyes so tired. I thought of what to do to calm my nerves. I could have had a glass of wine, but I didn't feel like retrieving the bottle. Instead I crept silently across the Mess hall with bare feet to the Crew's quarters.
"Garrus," I whispered to him on his top bunk. "Garrus, I can't sleep," I shook him until he woke up.
"Belial? What are you doing awake?" he scolded me in a whisper.
"I had a bad dream. I can't sleep," I pleaded with him.
"Get up here before someone sees you," he harbored me in his arms. "What got you so scared? Was it the thresher maw?"
"It almost stranded us," I sobbed softly into his chest.
"Shh, there there. I should have went with you. I could have told you they lived in snowy regions as well," he smoothed my hair down with his claw.
"We had a couple of close calls. I was worried I wasn't going to see you again. I can't die alone," a tear escaped me.
"I won't let you go alone anymore if I can help it. Now close your eyes and get some sleep. The thresher maw can't get you with me here," he kissed the top of my head.
"You promise?" I asked him.
"He wouldn't dare," he held me tight until I fell asleep in his arms.