Numbness. No shouting, no crying, no pleading. Just the pervasive emptiness eating away any emotions Lena had left inside. This day was more befitting of a farce than real life. A dark comedy she was cast in against her will, expected to entertain the invisible audience. There was no way this was true, right?
"Annette, this is not a time to joke around!" Lena tried to brush it off with nervous laughter, but deep down, she already knew.
"Lena… I…" Her friend froze, not knowing what to do. Such a reaction was a given for those devastating news, but that didn't mean Annette was prepared to handle it.
"Look, I feel fine! Maybe you overreacted a bit? It may have something to do with the pollen allergy, or I've eaten a foul cake at the banquet, hence the symptoms. Or is it because we… A-anyway, there are hundreds of possible reasons, don't scare me like that in the morning!" She crossed her arms like it was a serious scolding.
The despair from before was miraculously gone, with cheerful denial taking its place. Lena was sure it had to be a dream or an elaborate prank of sorts. Yesterday she dared to feel like a princess in a fairytale, but now she was pushed into a tragedy? If Gods truly existed, they had to be wretched creatures.
"I wouldn't tell you i-if I wasn't absolutely certain. I-I know it's hard to take in, m-maybe we should talk it out with a third party, like a professional counselor?" Uttering it required a tremendous effort, her usual assuredness was nowhere to be seen.
"Each time I tell myself today can't get any worse, it somehow does. Getting dumped, losing senses, and now this? I can't be dying, there is too much to do! Everything depends on the mission to the Legion's territory, I don't have time to be sick. Even Mr. President told me he's counting on me, I can't run off and disappoint him!" Lena didn't know whether to laugh or cry. It was too much to bear at once, and she couldn't take it anymore.
"Wait, dumped? You? By Shin?" The random remark caught Annette off-guard, snapping her out of the dreary mindset.
"...It's a long story, but if a guy tells you he loves you and stays the night, but then disappears without a word before you wake up, I guess you could call it like that." The bitterness flooded her again, and the girl started seriously contemplating which news was worse.
"I… don't know what to say. I didn't want to tell you in such circumstances, but if the symptoms have started, time is of the essence. I know it sounds nonsensical, but I wouldn't dare to lie to you." Annette got her composure back and focused on her role as Lena's attendant.
It required shutting her feelings off for the moment and trying to approach Lena from a neutral standpoint. She knew this task was probably the hardest in her career, but after everything, Annette felt she owed it to her best friend.
"Am I… going to die?" Lena asked, for the first time admitting she shouldn't look away, but consider this a possibility. It scared her beyond words, but she was tired of running away from her problems.
"The old notes from the Republic didn't tell me much, but the results are indisputable. I've consulted every doctor and scientist I could find, but they confirmed my worst fears. It's neuronal poisoning followed by the degeneration, and Para-RAID overload is the most probable cause." She did her best to sound professional, not allowing emotions to get in the way. It was an impossible task from the beginning, but Annette didn't let them flow out of her heart and show on her face.
"How much?" There was no need to finish the question, they both knew what she meant.
"Few weeks if we're lucky, days if we're not. The course was lightning-fast in most cases, but some lasted a little longer. Categorically avoiding Para-RAID and intravenous administration of immunosuppressants were reported to slow down the process, though not considerably. They never identified the specific pathomechanism or how to stop it completely." It was like answering a professor during an exam, a strict, academic way of speaking, reciting words etched in her head.
"I guess I'll make it long enough to help with the mission preparations." A thought escaped Lena's workaholic mind.
"You're still hung up on that? Stop being a fucking moron. Live for yourself for once! Do everything you've been putting off, be as selfish as you can get. Please, Lena. I'll do anything in my power to find a cure, but the chances of succeeding are dim. Don't waste your precious time on others…" Annette cracked, shaking the pensive girl like one would a broken vending machine. Frustration wasn't enough to describe her position towards Lena's attitude. If push comes to shove, she wouldn't hesitate to knock some sense into her best friend.
"Annette, you know me best. This is what I want to do. Besides, I already did the craziest thing I can think of last night and all I got after it was regret. I'll stick to what I do best, and maybe help with saving the world when I'm at it." Lena smirked, but it was lifeless. She was too exhausted to properly process what was going on, and pushing forward seemed like the only reasonable option.
"Sometimes I hate you. At the same time, I love you. You have the full right to haunt me however long you want for me not noticing your condition sooner." The joke was awkward, but Lena laughed nonetheless.
"I knew what I was getting into when I asked you for that extension. You bought me a few months, I'd say it was a bargain." Lena wasn't sure if those words were sincere or just a facade, but she wanted to believe them. Blaming Annette for the choices she forced her to make would be a cowardly move on her part.
"I'm sorry." Annette felt tears coming up, so she hugged Lena to hide their existence. She had to be strong for her, even if it meant grieving in silence.
The simple gesture conveyed more than any grand speech could. They had been friends for years, at this point they'd already seen the best and the worst of each other. The thought of Lena not being there anymore wasn't something she could simply make peace with. Surviving the brutal siege of the Republic made cheating death seem possible, and Annette was ready to challenge it yet again.
"Don't be. If I went back in time, I'd do it again in a heartbeat." Lena pressed her forehead against Annette's, wanting to absolve her of guilt.
"I hate to admit it, but Primevére was right about one thing. You are a fucking Saint. I should've let them build some statues…" Annette put her hands on Lena's cheeks, memorizing the warmth they were giving out.
"No statues and no poems, please. Aside from that, Shiden came back with new intel, the witch reportedly became a mom. I can't imagine Yvonne liking her biological children if she had them, but taking in an orphan? That's crazy on another level." The image of this ruthless woman acting like a loving mom was so bizarre, that they couldn't help but chuckle. Lena wanted to play it cool, but sorrow filled her mind when she thought about the future she'd miss out on.
"I pity the child. They'll be raised under the false conviction that the Alba were somehow the victims of it all. But who knows, maybe it'll melt Primevére's heart and bring her back to Earth. If she weren't as stubborn, I'd say killing innocent children wouldn't seem as fun when you've got one of your own…" She frowned since Yvonne didn't strike her as someone capable of change.
"I wish it was that simple." Lena sighed heavily, and Annette wondered if she was talking about Primevére or herself.
"I'll do anything to save you. Damn it, I even have an idea where to start. Shin is the one Para-RAID is based on, plus he has that weird Legion-hearing superpower, but somehow he is completely fine. Think about it, he can't switch it off, but despite it going on for years, his brain is in perfect condition. His body must be the key to finding the cure. I'm sure he'll agree to become my lab rat if we explain the reason. Don't look at me like that, I'm not gonna kill him! Just test him in every possible way known to humankind." She raised her arms in a defensive gesture, but her gears were spinning at full speed.
"Everything but that. You absolutely, under any circumstances, cannot utter even a word about it to him. Last night things got complicated, and I'd rather go to hell than ask him to risk his health for me. Especially with the upcoming mission. I know you're not going to stop on non-invasive procedures." Lena shook her head like it was the most ludicrous she had ever heard, categorically opposing putting it into practice. Shin's life was something she wouldn't dare to gamble on, even if it meant forfeiting hers.
"YOU IMBECILE! FOOL! IDIOT! MORON! Who is scared of some stupid embarrassment when their life is on the line? Fine, I'll give up cutting his brain open, but multiple diagnostic tools can help us without it. Don't be a fucking coward, you coward, we love you and want you to stay with us. I'm sure he'll be more than willing to help, since, as you admitted yourself, he fucking TOLD YOU HE LOVES YOU. The mysterious disappearance after doesn't matter. Seriously, I want to beat your ass so bad. You are great at caring for others, now allow us to take care of you. I'll talk to him if you don't want to." Annette was close to taking a metaphorical spoon, tying Lena up, and forcefully shoving love down her throat.
"FINE, FINE! Stop nagging. But can we omit the dying part? I don't want to stress him too much. If we say it's a chronic disease causing headaches he won't be distracted during mission preparations." The word dying still didn't sound real, but she was too numb after the emotional explosion to take it seriously.
"FINE. But seriously though, you need to start putting yourself first. I swear, if you give up without trying, I'll follow you to the fucking hell and nag you for the eternity."
August 18th Republic Year 357 (Stellar Year 2138)
14 days until the Start of the Legion War
Elizabeth felt miserable, but lately, it was more like a default. Missing someone was hard, but doing so while hating their guts was a torment on another level. Ignorance was a bliss she could no longer afford, but the price of the truth exceeded her expectations. She deeply regretted stepping out of the mansion that night and stripping herself of the sole fantasy keeping her afloat.
"May I come in?" Zelene politely knocked on her door frame, but it was open anyway. She never asked about what had happened when Liz went out, and the girl was thankful for her consideration. Their relationship improved tremendously over the past week, but not enough to call them genuinely close.
"Suit yourself, I'm up anyway." The sun was long gone under the horizon, but since Will had left she had problems falling asleep. Aunt Zelene's company, no matter how awkward, could potentially keep her mind away from him, at least for a couple of minutes.
Contrary to her hopes, Zelene sat in silence, absent-mindedly gazing through the window. Elizabeth was no longer surprised by her erratic behaviour, but tonight, she needed someone to talk to. Her cold auntie wasn't a great conversationalist, but her go-to choice proved to be involved in international espionage.
"So… what's up with the miraculous cure? Seriously, the fact I can already walk with nothing but a cane is insane. This is basically immortality in a bottle. You could earn more than this country is worth if you put it up on sale." It was an awkward remark, but nothing better came to mind.
"I don't need more money, I've got more than I could ever spend. Besides, it's not almighty. Healing the easily accessible epithelium or some superficial injuries is simple, but organ damage needs far more care. From a scientific perspective, if something grows too well we simply call it a cancer. This treatment is like a Pandora's Box, and I've only opened it once because the situation was dire. Overall, this project is a failure." Zelene promised her she wouldn't lie no matter the subject, but Liz was astonished by her openness. Everything about her aunt was full of contradictions, and the girl wasn't sure if she trusted her or not.
"What about yourself?" Zelene's illness was shrouded in mystery, but no matter how risky using this cure was, it could buy her time to figure out a better solution. If she was able to create such an advanced medicine as a side project, what could she achieve with her mind and resolve put into it?
"Me? I'm good. The hell is saving a cozy spot for me, and I've heard they finished putting tiles in the kitchen. You're too young to understand, but the sooner I'm gone, the better for the world." She chuckled at her joke but quickly returned to her stoic expression.
"I don't understand, if you hate it, why did you build those weapons? Why bother with the experiments? What was your goal in all that?" Elizabeth got more confused with every following sentence, and the pent-up questions were eating her away.
At last, Zelene turned around, shifting her gaze from the garden to her curious niece. She didn't understand Liz's overnight interest in her, but the promise she was bound by was more important than her introverted reluctance. In moments like this, she sounded like a different person.
"For Carl. Everything was for Carl. Working with the Imperial Palace was a means to an end, I just didn't care about the consequences. I was arrogant to think I could play God, yet talented enough to get close. The border between life and death is thinner than a spider silk. I managed to stand right on it, but never take a step further. I'll spare you the details, but reviving the dead is impossible. When a brain dies, so does the person. Everything you create from those remains will be nothing but an empty echo." Zelene spontaneously took something out of her pocket and started to fiddle with it.
"Dad is dead. He has been for a long time. Why can't you let him go?" Necromancy was something straight out of the fantasy novels, not a thing an aunt does as a side job. It sounded like a made-up story, making Liz doubt it was true.
"What drives humans to do stupid things? It's always love or hate, sometimes a mix of both. I wanted my dear brother to be happy again, and it's hard to do that when you're dead." She shrugged like it was a sufficient explanation. Zelene knew guilt and shame were the desired response, but she promised Elizabeth not to lie. In reality, the only thing she regretted was failing to achieve her original goal.
Looking at her now Liz saw a different picture. A pitiful recluse locked in her small fortress, missing her long-gone sibling despite the world moving on. Zelene was clinging to the past, living like an echo of herself. When her back was hunched she was unexpectedly small, no longer resembling a chilling witch, but a woman tired of being alive. Elizabeth couldn't help but feel sorry for her.
"I don't remember him well, but Mum always told me stories. He might not have lived for long, but he did it to its fullest. I'm sure he'd want you to let him go." Liz didn't know if it was her place to say it, but she wished those words could bring Zelene peace.
"You're his daughter through and through. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I plan to stick around until you settle here comfortably." She came closer and patted Liz's head.
The loving gesture took her by surprise, with a strange warmth spreading from where she was touched. Elizabeth missed the familial closeness known from the United Kingdom, but she never expected Zelene to fill that void. Her movements were clumsy, it was clear she wasn't used to showing affection, but her sincerity was apparent.
"I've got you a gift. I guessed you might need it." She handed her the small, rectangular object she played with, smelling like certain flowers.
"You knew?!" Liz looked from her aunt to the purple cigarette pack, still sealed in protective foil.
"It was hard not to. You weren't exactly subtle, smoking like a chimney. The whole hallway smells like tobacco. This brand is quite a peculiar choice, but there is no accounting for taste." Zelene shrugged, preparing to leave the room.
"...Thank you. I'm sorry for treating you like shit in the beginning. It was wrong and self-centered." Elizabeth uttered the words of apology, officially burying the hatched.
"I deserved it. Also, I kind of decided to play the villain myself. It's in the past, what's important is how are you feeling now." Her crimson hair gleamed with even the smallest movement, like bloody flames flowing down her body. Instead of an Ice Witch, she looked like the fire personified, but Liz wasn't scared.
"Been better, been worse. I...miss somebody. But I also hate his guts. Love is a fucking joke." She surrendered, openly admitting her struggles.
Elizabeth was tired of loneliness and isolation, and she wanted to take things off her chest. Despite the betrayal she opted against ratting him out, but her aunt wasn't a person who needed to pry further. She allowed herself to reveal the feelings strangling her heart, without giving any context.
"If you had a chance to see him again, would it make you feel better?" Zelene asked offhandedly, not wanting to pressure Liz for an answer.
"It's hard to say, but if I had to... yeah. I feel like we parted before I got all the answers." He caused her pain, but the piling-up questions were weighing on her mind. Elizabeth silently wished to see William's face once more, at minimum to slap him for his deceit.
"Noted. I need to go now, try to get some sleep." She patted her goodbye and closed the door on the way out.
"So, you've come to a decision?" Irma Becker, a devoted fighter in the Giadian Equal Freedom Front, asked the weary man dressed in the puked-stained sweats.
"I won't help you, violence leads to more violence. Technically I'm unemployed now, but being a stay-at-home dad, I have enough on my plate as it is. It's not that I don't understand your cause, but I want my daughter to grow up in a safe world. War will hurt everyone. The only word of advice I can offer is to avoid any large gatherings, the council is eager for revenge. If you turn in the perpetrators, the issue may go away." Ernst explained calmly, wanting to convince Irma to de-escalate. He gave up his seat in the council as a sign of protest, but that didn't mean he decided to support the opposite side.
"Your peace is our suffering. I've told you, that the underground is divided, unless we unite, those accidents might continue. With no structure in place, it's hard to implement any overseeing." Becker shook her head, displeased with his response. He was their greatest hope, yet he preferred to hide with a tail between his legs.
"Look, I sincerely wish this country was equal, but my daughter and wife's safety take priority over anything else. The council is wrong, but since the Emperor is officially dead, the newly crowned child won't be able to step in if tensions get higher. The nobles got too full of themselves, they have no restrains. If they feel threatened, it may lead to a massacre." Zimmerman knew it was morally wrong, but he felt the situation excused it. Hildegard was a lively infant who required constant attention and care, not an absent father engaged in dangerous politics. She was his little Princess, and he would do anything to keep her safe.
"I won't force you, but remember, there might come a day when you'll regret standing by. When you do, come and find me. We'll keep an open spot, just for you."