1965 by Zella Day
Break Into My Heart by Daughtry
2020
Montana, U.S.
Luke's eyes were burning a bit with fatigue as he read. While it was nice to read his son's life story, it made his heart hurt that he'd missed it all. He rested the journal against his chest and leaned his head back into the pillows, sighing. He tried to picture baby Brendan, but all he had to go by were Rita's descriptions and photographs. He did not have the real thing to reflect back on.
He opened his eyes again, hearing a noise downstairs. He slept up here while Kenny and Lucy slept on the main floor. He listened as he heard steps and then some clattering. Frowning, he put the journal to the side and got up. He padded down to find Lucy standing in front of the fridge with the door wide open. She had one hand on the door handle and the other against her lips.
"Lucy?" Luke said, making her turn her head quickly to see him. For a moment, he feared she did not recognize him by the way her eyes widened slightly and her nostrils flared.
"Did I wake you, Luke?" she asked, and he relaxed. Perhaps her reaction was just from being startled.
"No. I was still awake."
"Oh." She turned to look back in the fridge. "I got up for something, but now I can't remember what."
"Water, perhaps?"
"That must have been it," she agreed, closing the fridge and going for a glass. She ran the tap for a moment before putting the glass under the stream of cool water. She took some sips and gave him a tired smile. "Don't get old, Luke."
"I'm trying," he said with a wry smile. She scoffed.
"Happens faster than you think. One day you're young and strong and the next you can't remember if you took a piss or not and don't recognize yourself in the mirror."
Luke wasn't used to her saying words like "piss," but he had been away a long time, and he knew that a personality change was possible with Alzheimer's.
"You seem very calm despite everything," he pointed out, and she shrugged.
"What's the point in fretting about it?" she asked. "It won't change anything." Luke nodded slowly in agreement, but he still was impressed by her thoughts on her disease. She finished her water and set the glass on the counter. Then she ran a hand through her hair.
"Has Rita seen her mother yet?" she asked.
"Yes."
"Poor dearie. I can only imagine the confusion and hurt."
"It's been rough," Luke confirmed.
"I couldn't believe it when I saw her on our doorstep," Lucy said with a sigh. "I still don't quite understand it, but I wasn't her, so I don't know what I would have done."
"Did she tell you that she was in Rita's life after Brendan was born for a few years?"
"What?" Lucy's eyes widened, and her mouth opened in shock.
"Yea. I don't know the extent of her involvement, but I don't think that matters."
"I never took her to be so foolish or afraid," Lucy said, shaking her head. "The Rosie I knew was strong and fearless."
"I guess things change."
"I guess so."
Luke felt sad inside at how small and frail Lucy suddenly looked. She also looked exhausted. He moved in to hug her gently, and she sank into him.
"You're such a good boy, Luke," she said against his chest. "Always were. Don't give up on our Rita. I think it'll all work out in the end."
"I'm not going anywhere," Luke promised, and he felt her smile, which made him smile too. She pulled back from his hug, patted his cheek lightly, and gave one last smile before heading back to bed. He watched her go until she disappeared; then he went back up to his bed. He tried to read a bit more, but he was too tired, so he left the journals for another night.
The Next Day
Brendan could see his mother was tired, so he kept his chatter to a minimum. There were a lot of questions he wanted to ask her, but he didn't know how to start or if now was a good time. He wanted his parents back together for good before asking why the hell they'd broken up in the first place.
He pressed a hand to his face, rubbing absently as if he could erase the nightmare from his mind. It had felt so real, and he'd woken up scared and soaked in sweat. He didn't say anything to his mother because he didn't want her to worry. He was extra fidgety today, though, because of it.
He found Mei walking to her car with her keys dangling in her fingers, and she gave him a curt nod in acknowledgement.
"Have a good day," he said.
"You too."
He stood there leaning against the railing and daydreaming about her instead of fixating on his nightmare until his father gave him a nudge with his elbow on the way by. He'd come up the steps at the side of the house.
"She'll eat you alive, Bren," he advised, going inside. Brendan scoffed to himself. Mei didn't scare him. No, he just needed to figure out how to make a connection with her so that she actually wanted to spend time with him.
He also needed to get his damn driver's license sorted out. He needed that freedom. He'd learned to drive in the UK, and no one had cared about a license due to the war, but here he was required to have one.
Ugh.
He heard voices inside, and he moved closer to the window out of sight to hear better.
...
Rita stopped in her tracks on the stairs when she saw Luke standing at the bottom with his hands in his pockets, waiting for her. He looked tired and sad. She decided not to address what he was probably hoping to talk about.
"I'm going to head out and pick up more chickens," she said, coming down the rest of the stairs without looking at him fully. "I figured we could use them since there are now more of us here and not enough layers."
"Want some company?"
Rita hesitated. Did she? She mulled the answer over as she went into the kitchen and scrounged up something quick to eat. Luke moved to lean against the counter, waiting. Did she want him around today? He'd be extra muscle to move things. Maybe it was a good idea. She didn't know these people at all since they were just a username and an address, and right now with the news telling everyone to be on guard for robberies and more crime that has been on the rise since the war started, it wouldn't hurt to have him along with her for back up. Maybe she'd finally tell someone about Travis, that he was the reason her father went into hiding. How he'd ended up in her life was astonishing...like it was a full circle type of thing. It haunted her.
"If you want," she finally said, pulling her thoughts back to the present.
"I do want," he confirmed. She gave a slight nod of acknowledgment, chewing but not really tasting what she was eating. She wondered if he'd started reading the journals. She remembered writing most entries, and she couldn't help but wonder which would be his favorites.
"I appreciate you keeping the journals," Luke said after a moment, as if reading her mind.
"It was the least I could do."
"I keep picturing you as a single mother," he went on, "and I can't help but imagine you were scared at times."
"Try all the time," she retorted, dusting her hands off on her faded jeans and getting a glass of water.
"I keep thinking about what I could have done for you if I was there."
She knew what he meant because she'd wondered it too. She knew he would have done some of the late night soothing when Brendan woke up crying. She knew he'd have given her time to herself while taking their son out to do something together. She knew he would have loved being a father.
"You would have done just enough," she answered, moving to walk by him and head for the door. "And it would have been perfect." He reached to catch her arm as she passed, and they looked at each other.
"I love you," he said, and she bit her lip, feeling the burn of tears coming.
"Like I've said, you deserve someone better than me," she replied, pulling away.
"How about you let me be the judge of that?" he asked, following her as she went to put her boots on and grab her truck keys.
"I don't want to talk about it anymore," she advised. "Okay?"
"Alright."
They went out single file, and Rita saw her son move away from the window and tuck his hands into his pockets while trying to look at something that proved he wasn't just eavesdropping right now.
"We'll be back in a bit," she told him.
"Okay."
Luke got into the passenger side of her truck without a word, and they drove with the static of the radio station being louder than the music itself. Rita pulled into the driveway of their destination about forty minutes later, and she parked and cut the engine shortly after. The house was worn out looking, but it was very much alive with the bustle of animals and people. She got out with Luke following suit, and they walked towards the front door.
She gave a start when Luke grabbed her arm and yanked her back just as the door blew open and a very angry young woman came storming out. Rita moved out of the way and was about to ask if she was okay when an older woman came out after her with a yell. Her hands were flying as they signed, and Rita felt all the color drain from her face. She felt like she couldn't breathe. Her heart was pounding so hard it hurt her ears.
"Erm," Luke said. "Should we go?" He looked at her, but she was transfixed by the sign war that was happening in front of her. The young woman finally threw up her hands in the air and made an exasperated sound. That's when she saw Rita and Luke.
"Oh," she said. "Hello."
"Hi," Rita said back, but barely just. How were they here? When did they get here?
"Are you here for the chickens?" she asked.
"Yes."
"Wonderful. I'm—"
"Molly," Rita finished. She watched as Molly looked surprised and nodded.
"Yes. How did you know?"
It really had been such a long time. She didn't expect Molly to remember her, but she definitely remembered Molly.
"Rose?!"
She swiveled to see Jo standing there looking stunned. Luke was very confused, Rita could tell. It had been a long time since someone had called her by her fake name.
"Hi, Jo," she said softly, signing as well. Jo's face showed a mix of emotions. In the end, she cleared her throat and signed to the older woman, who made a disgruntled noise and signed back that of course she remembered the woman who messed around with her son and broke his heart.
"You wanna fill me in?" Luke asked, looking at Rita now.
"Later." She waved to get Callie's attention and signed I did NOT mess around with Brian! She held Callie's stare, and the woman scoffed.
Know what I see.
She turned and walked back inside before Rita could respond. She was shaking slightly. That was not what happened, and Rita wanted everyone to know it.
"I'm confused," Molly said, signing at the same time and looking between them all.
Jo sighed and waved her hand in a fluid sign: Talk later.
"My name is actually Rita," Rita explained, still signing too, making Jo lift a brow.
"Figures," she scoffed. Then she switched to just signing: I tell him to get over you, but he insist on waiting for you. I figure something was up with you, but he won't listen to me. You strung him along!
No, Rita signed back. I had feelings for him. I just... She trailed off, not even knowing what to say. Her brain was trying to get used to, again, how sign language was more in present tense.
Jo looked at Luke, and Rita knew what she was thinking. The resemblance was uncanny. Jo scoffed again.
Now I know why you mess with him. She stared.
Rita cringed inside, and she wished she was standing anywhere but there. Luke was giving her a look now, and she knew he was going to want answers.
Sorry, she signed. Not my intention.
Jo still looked stony. "He deserved better." Then she left.
"Oookay, well, the chickens are over here," Molly said, gesturing. She led the way, and Rita felt Jo's eyes burning into her back. Luke was quiet as he followed. Molly opened the coop door and went inside. She picked up a box of chicks and handed it to Rita. Then she corralled a few adult layers until snatching them up and putting them in a crate, which she handed to Luke.
"Argh!" he helped when one pecked his fingers.
"That's Hildy," Molly said. "She's a bit grouchy."
"Wonderful," Luke replied, holding back sarcasm but barely just. He gave the chicken a stink eye that was fully returned.
"So, you've got some meat birds and layers in there," Molly explained to Rita. "I'm assuming you know what you're doing?"
"Yes."
"Good. Need any more, just let me know."
"I will, thanks." Rita felt awkward now, especially with Molly studying her.
"Rose," she said now. "Hang on, Brendan's mom?!"
"Yes."
"Oh my God! How is he?!"
"Good," Rita answered. "He's good."
"Wow. Well, maybe I'll run into him," Molly said, running her fingers through her dirty blonde hair as if Brendan was there right now and watching.
"Maybe."
"We moved here a long time ago," Molly said now, offhandedly. "I missed B a lot."
"I see."
"Anyway, I don't really know anyone here, and the war really did not help, so maybe if B is around we could catch up?" She sounded so hopeful that it hurt Rita's heart.
"I'll mention it to him."
It made Molly smile at least. They went to the truck, and Rita slid the box into the back behind her seat on the floor. Luke put the crate behind his, and he watched as Rita paid Molly with cash.
"I'm sorry for them," Molly said, tilting her head towards the house. Jo and Callie were glaring from the window inside.
"It's alright."
"Thanks for getting these guys," Molly went on, gesturing to the chickens. "Good luck!"
"Thanks."
"Here's, uh, my number. For B," Molly added, pulling out a business card. She handed it to Rita, who took it gingerly. Then she hugged her. "I missed you."
"Missed you too."
"Watch that Hildy. She'll snatch a finger if you're not paying attention."
"I will." Rita smiled and waved and then got into the truck with Luke doing the same shortly after. She cranked the engine to life and began to drive away. She felt his eyes on her as she drove.
"What was that?" he asked finally.
"What was what?"
"Since when do you know how to sign?"
"Since Brendan was born."
"Who were those people?"
"They were in my life a little bit, but we drifted apart."
"Who was the 'he' she referred to?" Luke asked. Rita swallowed as she pondered her answer. Who was Brian to her exactly? She didn't know how to answer this question in this moment while on the spot.
"Just a friend," she answered after a bit. That was the best response.
"You sure? Cos it felt a lot more than that," Luke stated.
"I can't get into this right now."
"Can't or won't?"
"I won't," she answered, meeting his eyes finally. "Not right now."
"Who was he to you, Rita?" He looked all sorts of emotions. Rita didn't remember talking to him about what all happened during their time apart or about Brian, but that didn't mean it wasn't discussed in a reset that he remembered.
"I really don't know how to describe it at this point in time."
"I'll understand whatever it is because I get it," he said. "I just need honesty from you."
"Luke, I..."
"You said recently that you had tried to shag someone and couldn't do it. Was it with him?" he asked over her, unable to prevent the question from coming out apparently. When had she said that? It must have been when she got drunk. Damn her loose lips from alcohol.
"Luke, just let it go!" she shouted. "Please!" Her hands were shaking. She wanted to vomit. It was all coming back to her in waves, and she couldn't handle it.
"Rita, stop sign!" Luke yelled, reaching to grab her arm.
She slammed on the brakes just in time and made them both slingshot forward and then back, a car whizzing past with the driver giving her an "are you kidding me?" look and a finger on the way by. Her heart was pounding, and she tried to steady herself mentally. She pressed fingers into her eyes and checked for cars before crossing the road. Then she pulled over and tried to breathe.
"Want me to drive?" Luke asked. She shook her head.
"I don't want to talk about him right now, Luke," she said a moment later. "I just don't. Okay?"
"Okay," he said. She looked at him, and he looked a bit worried but didn't say anything else.
"What about you?" she asked now, suddenly needing to know. "You said Annie wasn't anything, but was there anyone else?" Something passed through his eyes at this, and her heart constricted. "Luke?"
"When you're ready to talk about him," he answered, "I'll talk about her."
"So there was someone?"
"For a moment."
Rita rubbed her face, getting a bit angry now from thinking he'd lied. "You said Annie wasn't anything."
"That's correct. I didn't lie about that." He gave her a meaningful look, and she let go of the suspicion. She gave a bit of a sigh.
"Why did we not talk about this sooner?" she asked.
"I dunno. I guess we didn't want to hurt the other," he said with a shrug.
"Nothing really came out of it. With him," she said, deciding to tell him that much.
"Me either."
They were quiet for a moment until she had to ask.
"Why do you think?"
"I think that we both had people in our lives that intrigued us, but we didn't move forward with it because of the tie we felt to each other," he said, holding her gaze. She didn't know what to think or say right now. She took in a shaky breath. Then another.
"Okay," she said finally. "When I'm ready to talk about him, you can tell me about her."
"Deal."
She put the truck back in drive and pulled out. She couldn't stop thinking about who it was that Luke had almost been with, but she knew that she deserved it.
...
Luke felt shaky as he walked to check on Brendan and Kenny after helping Rita unload the chickens and get them set up. He knew he couldn't be angry at her; 17 years was a long time alone, which he very well knew. How could he be mad at her for liking someone else when he himself had for a brief moment? Hell, he'd expected her to have, but obviously she hadn't gone through with it. He knew she hadn't lied when she said she'd loved him the whole time they were apart. He'd loved her, too, but despair and loneliness had its impact, and he knew it couldn't have only impacted him.
He took in the sight of his shirtless son swinging at a fence post to drive it into the ground. Kenny was supervising and waiting to help string it up. Luke stopped just to the left of his son.
"Hey, Dad," Brendan puffed out, swinging again.
"You're gonna get skin cancer," Luke replied.
"Huh?"
Luke gestured to his torso. "The sun is murder on your skin."
"It was just for this afternoon."
"And all those afternoons add up after a while."
"Dad," Brendan groaned, looking over his shoulder and towards the farmhouse. Luke snorted.
"Muscles don't impress Mei," he stated, making Kenny burst out laughing as he finally understood. "Brains do."
"I got too hot," Brendan tried.
"I ain't rubbing sun block on you," Kenny chimed in now. Brendan looked embarrassed now, and he missed the post on his next swing.
"Argh!" he yelled. Luke chuckled a little bit, mostly because he was remembering how he used to walk around shirtless to make Rita get all flustered and walk into things. It had been one of his ways to see if she still liked him, and it never failed.
"Try again, son," Kenny said. Brendan hit it the next try, and he finished a moment later, wiping the sweat off his brow with the back of his arm. Kenny moved in to start wiring it up, and Luke went to grab the extra pair of gloves to put on to assist.
"I didn't do it for Mei," Brendan mumbled, following him.
"If you say so," Luke replied a little cheerily. He knew his son was fibbing.
"Like you didn't whip your shirt off and strut around the second Rita came outside," Kenny said now. "If I do recall correctly."
"What?" Brendan looked at Luke almost accusatory.
"How do you think I got your mother to stay interested in me?" Luke asked, lifting a brow.
"Eww," Brendan said, making a face now. "Daaad!"
"Maybe it'll still work," Kenny commented, his face a bit contorted in his effort to do the job before him.
"Hm, maybe you're right," Luke agreed, stroking his chin thoughtfully in a teasing manner.
"Oh God," Brendan groaned.
"Lance was so worked up when you two finally went at each other," Kenny added, finally finishing what he was doing. "Honestly, Luce and I could see it a mile away for a long time."
"Keira did too," Luke said softly, making Kenny look at him. There was a pause, and Luke wondered if he shouldn't have said anything, but then Kenny smiled and gave a slight shake of his head.
"Wouldn't surprise me. She was very perceptive."
"Who's Keira?" Brendan asked.
"Lucy's granddaughter," Kenny answered. "Although she was pretty much her mum since she raised her from a babe."
"Where is she now?"
Luke winced slightly, looking at Kenny. It seemed the older man didn't have the energy to answer, so Luke did.
"She, uh, was murdered," he said. Brendan was shocked.
"What?!"
"It was a very dark day for all of us," Luke said. "She was only ten."
"That's terrible!"
"You know what's almost worst?" Kenny asked, and Luke knew what he was going to say, but he indulged anyway.
"What's that?"
"Lucy talking like she's still alive. Alzheimer's is a cruel, cruel disease." Kenny looked like he might become emotional, but he cleared his throat and gave his head a shake. "Alright, B, ready for the next one."
Brendan moved to start driving in the next post, leaving Luke to stand there watching and wishing that he could change the past.
...
Rita felt like the farm was slowly getting back to the way it used to be. She was already searching for some goats. Hell, she was even interested in a pig or two. Since everything was so messed up after the war, she found she wanted to just look after herself and her family as best as she could.
"There we go, little ones," she said to the chicks after getting them settled. "Try not to kill each other in here." She moved to check on the layers, who were busy nestling into their new home. She was already dreading dealing with Hildy, but there was no escaping it.
She couldn't stop thinking about Brian and his family, and she felt immense guilt in her chest that almost suffocated her. Brian had only ever been understanding about it all, but still...she'd hurt him. Then he'd hurt her.
She heard a sound behind her, and she turned, expecting it to be Luke, but that's not who was standing there.
"Hi," her mother said, hands clasped in front of her. "Can we talk?"
"No."
"It's not about me or us."
"Still no."
"Wes is missing," Rosie went on anyway, and Rita felt a flutter of fear.
"What do you mean, missing?" she couldn't help but ask.
"It's been a few years," Rosie replied. "I thought maybe he went to fight in the war, but he didn't. He'd gone missing before that. I have no idea where he is or if he's even still alive, but I'm trying to find him."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I need help," Rosie answered.
"No," Rita said sharply. "I'm not an assassin. I'm not helping you."
"I don't need an assassin," Rosie said with a sigh. "I need a good extraction team for when I do find him. That's all."
"I'm not going to..."
"I know, but you know men who might," Rosie interrupted.
"Excuse me?"
"Harvey, Kamden, and Pete," Rosie clarified. "I know they're former SAS and special forces. I need their skills."
"No! I'm not going to ask them to help you! I don't even know how to contact them," Rita said crossly.
"Then I'll ask Luke to help me."
"Don't you dare!" Rita shouted, balling her fists. This took Rosie by surprise.
"Why not?"
"You know bloody well why not!"
"Well, you certainly act like he means nothing to you, so I didn't think you'd care," Rosie said calmly, and Rita realized what her mother was trying to do.
"If this is your way of getting us back together, it's a real shit way to do it," she growled.
"I didn't even know you were considering it. I'm just trying to get a team together."
"You leave him out of it."
"Alright," Rosie said, holding up her hands. "Alright." She backed away. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you."
"You better be," Rita shot back, feeling her heart pounding. Her mother was alive. Her mother was here on the farm. It still felt surreal. It still made her angry that her mother had lied. She still wasn't ready to address all of it just yet.
She was inside making supper later when Luke came in with Brendan. She paused, looking at them both talking and laughing, and she felt a pang of missing the family she wanted. She met Luke's eyes, and she wanted so desperately to know who he'd almost gotten with but knew she wasn't ready to share about Brian yet, so she would have to wait.
"Alright, see you tomorrow," Luke was saying, getting ready to leave.
"Wait," Rita said, making him stop. She saw Brendan slip away to leave them alone.
"You alright?" Luke asked.
"Yea, um...just...do you want to stay?" she asked. She watched him take in the invite and look unsure of how to answer.
"I'd like that," he finally said. "You sure?" She nodded, and he waited a beat before moving to join her. "Can I help?"
"Sure. Chop those," she directed, handing him a knife. He took it, their fingers brushing. Rita suddenly envisioned herself shoving him against the wall and sticking her hands up his shirt while kissing him hard and fast and deep...
She gave her head a shake. She wasn't ready to let him back in yet; she didn't know if she ever would be. She had to let go of the fantasies in the meantime.
...
Mei came home late and tired. She showered and went into her borrowed room. She shouldn't have been surprised to see Brendan in the doorway a moment before she crawled into bed.
"What?" she asked, not hiding her annoyance.
"Nothing. I just was gonna ask if you had a good day," he replied.
"It was fine."
"Good."
"Brendan," she said carefully, looking at him. "Don't waste your time on me, alright?"
"I don't understand..."
"I know you're crushing on me hard, but it's not reciprocated, and I just don't want you to get hurt," she said bluntly. "I'm sorry, okay? I am. You're cute and funny, but you're not my type. Spend your energy working your charm on some other girl." For a moment, she thought he was going to melt, but then he surprised her. He crossed his arms, a smile growing on his face.
"Well," he said. "I'm sorry you feel that way. You're really missing out." He pushed off the doorframe, and she stared at the empty space where he'd been standing. Despite her speech and despite not wanting to be interested in him, something pinged inside that went against it. She pressed her fingers into her eyes, groaning slightly.
"Shit."
...
Luke was watching the small TV in his room as quietly as he could, but he wasn't really focused on it. He kept thinking about his evening with Rita and Brendan and how normal it had felt. He wasn't sure what made Rita want him there, but he wasn't going to argue.
A stone hitting his window made him lurch, and he felt his heart leap at the thought that it was maybe Rita wanting to talk to him. He got up and looked to see his son standing there instead. He lifted the window.
"What's wrong?"
"I can't sleep," Brendan answered. "Can we walk and talk?"
"Give me a minute." Luke shut the window quietly and grabbed a hoodie to pull on and then jeans. He went downstairs and put on his work boots, wincing at how sweaty they were and lamenting over forgetting to put socks on. He went outside and met his son at the bottom of the stairs of the porch.
"What's on your mind?" Luke asked, pushing his hands into the pocket of his hoodie while Brendan scuffed along next to him, his head down.
"Just a bad night," his son answered, his voice mumbled.
"I'll listen if you want to talk it out."
Brendan was quiet for a moment, the only sound around them being their footsteps on the gravel. Luke was beginning to wonder what was so wrong when his son finally spoke again.
"I was Jordan's co-pilot," he said quietly.
"Jordan?" Luke repeated. His mind clicked it together. No...
"He said you were a friend of his in school," Brendan confirmed, looking at him finally. Luke felt his chest constrict slightly. He just knew whatever his son was going to say wasn't going to be good.
"He was."
Brendan stopped walking, making Luke stop too. He sniffed hard, wiping his nose with the back of his arm. "He died, Dad. I'm so sorry."
Luke felt his throat burn slightly, images of Jordan laughing, flirting with girls, horsing around with Sam, and being a loveable goofball went through his mind.
"It's not your fault," he told his son.
"I thought he was alive," Brendan said. "At the hospital...he was there talking to me, but he wasn't actually there."
Luke made a nonverbal sound, not knowing what to say.
"I still don't know what happened, what made the aircraft go down," Brendan said, pushing a hand through his hair. "But the last thing I remember is Jordan unbuckling himself and launching onto me to shield me."
Luke closed his eyes. Of course his friend would use his last act to save his son.
"I just want to thank him," Brendan said, his voice choked up. "For saving me...because I'm certain that's why I'm alive today, but I can't because he's dead."
Luke reached to pull his son into an embrace, and Brendan let out some stifled sobs against him. Luke looked up at the night sky, sending a nonverbal thank you to his friend for his honorable actions.
"He knows," Luke said now. "He knows."
"You promise?"
"Yea."
Brendan calmed down after a moment, and he pulled away from Luke once he had regained his composure. "Sorry."
"Don't ever apologize for having feelings," Luke replied.
"Sor—okay," Brendan said, switching words. Luke gripped his shoulder fondly.
"What else happened?"
Brendan gave a sigh, but then he began to tell Luke some of the things he'd seen and experienced, and Luke felt terrible that his son had to have these memories and trauma to carry forward for the rest of his life. When they'd walked the loop and stopped back by the Vrataski farm, Luke glanced up and saw a light on in Rita's room and wondered if she was having a rough night too.
"She needs you, Dad," Brendan said softly.
"I know."
"Promise you'll stay?" He looked at Luke, who felt his son's anxiety in the darkness.
"I'm not going anywhere," Luke promised, and he heard Brendan give a slight sigh.
"Good. I think she'll come around."
Luke didn't comment, but he tended to agree with his son. Rita just needed some time. He gave Brendan a side hug.
"You alright for the time being?" he asked.
"Yea. Talking helps."
"That's good. Maybe you should call a professional."
"I've thought about it."
"Good."
"'Night, Dad," Brendan said.
"'Night, Son."
Brendan left and lightly trotted up the steps, turning to give Luke a wave before going inside and turning off the outside light. Luke trudged his way back to Kenny's, looking over his shoulder before rounding the corner, and he saw the upper window curtain twitch, the outline of Rita tucked off to the side. He smiled to himself.
She still liked to watch him walk away even when she couldn't fully see him in the dark.