(TW: a mild sexual scene not graphic.)
The Light, Disturbed
Like an unsung melody
The truth is waiting there for you to find it
It's not a blight, but a remedy
A clear reminder of how it began
Deep inside your memory
Turned away as you struggled to find it
You heard the call as you walked away
A voice of calm from within the silence
And for what seemed an eternity
You're waiting, hoping it would call out again
You heard the shadow reckoning
Then your fears seemed to keep you blinded
You held your guard as you walked away
When you think all is forsaken
Listen to me now (all is not forsaken)
You need never feel broken again
Sometimes darkness can show you the light
They'd returned to the Room of Requirement immediately. Hermione had taken Lavender away, and Seamus ran as soon as he could walk. Ginny hadn't said much to him after the confrontation, and she seemed lost in thought.
"You know I would-" Harry began as she poured herself tea, her hands shaking.
"I know Harry. You'd understand," she finished for him.
"Will you tell me… What you're thinking? I can't tell," he whispered the question.
"I knew right away when something was wrong. More than Sirius. At first, I was paranoid that somehow you knew about Ron, but… It didn't fit. Your nightmares?" She asked suddenly.
"Memories. Tom's memories."
"Were they- are they awful?"
"I- some," Harry tried not to think about Alicent in the Room of Requirement and failed.
'…And the others?' Tom asked inside their head, amused.
"I knew it didn't fit, but I couldn't work it out. And I was- it really was hard, holding Ron up, I almost forgot but… As soon as I let go…" Her eyes zoned out before she shook herself, "Then you were gone, I woke up in the hall and- and there were people everywhere. Aurors, people with cameras, doctors from Saint Mungo's, they'd put the tables aside and laid out beds for those who- who couldn't get up yet…" She was whispering, "And I kept asking where you were… I saw the curse come from you, but I couldn't understand it, no one would answer me, and so many people were crying I thought you were dead until Hermione told me… It wasn't long after that they found Ron, then everyone was… On the grounds, while they carried- carried him…" Her face glazed over.
"And all at once, they decided it was you. My family was there, after that, and I went home early. Hermione came with us. We couldn't use any of our safe houses, and no one knew why, just that Dumbledore insisted, and… He had me write you a letter. I was going to try it, anyway, but he… He hoped to track the owl, or to get you to Sirius' place…"
"Yeah, they figured that out," Harry said.
"I'm sorry… I thought I was helping; I didn't know if the curse was something that had been done to you, or that you were forced to do, or… Anything. After the trial- he took you to the trial? He really spooked Hermione, she- she spoke about him a lot."
"Yeah, he took me. Dragged me into the Floo with no instructions, just 'you don't know anything'. Then we were in the Atrium and… You know the rest. I didn't really… Spend a lot of time with him."
"What was it like? At the manor? Were they awful to you?" Ginny asked.
Tom nearly laughed but Harry held it in, "No. I was going through… a lot while I was there, but they -Narcissa, Nagini, and Cassiopeia- looked after me. Probably better than- better than anyone ever has," Harry frowned at that realization.
She chewed her thumb and frowned before she continued, "Everyone assumed you were guilty even after Dumbledore told them the prophecy. He'd tell them that you made the wrong choices, but you could still be- he said that you could still be- he said 'used'… That you could still be used to kill You-Know-Who. They were spending every second looking for you, even during the funeral, they… It was their only concern. When I got your reply, Dumbledore got it first. He asked me over and over what 'Don't do anything' meant, 'What wouldn't I do?' I told him I didn't know, he… Tried Legilimency. And honestly, I don't know how well I did against him. I pulled my eyes away, I- I never looked at his face again… When I saw you, after the trial… I thought you looked like you'd been- been through hell. You were so different. Hermione said that you looked like- like one of them… at the trial… She was still convinced that you killed him, killed him for no obvious reason, and I felt so selfish," she rubbed her face and sat back heavily in her chair, "Now that I know, what was happening to you… I wish you'd said something. I wish I could have done more, Harry."
Rage and regret bubbled at the image of Dumbledore using Legilimency on Ginny, "I'd hoped only you would see the reply, but I guess that was wishful thinking. I'm sorry. Does your family think… I- Ron?"
"…Mum didn't believe it but… As the trial got closer, she- she got quiet. Dad never said whether he- not to me. Fred and George, they didn't buy for a second. Percy thinks- he thinks you did. Bill hasn't spoken to anyone since the funeral, I don't know what he thinks."
"…Okay," Harry said softly, eyes on the wooden floors.
'Could you… Perform Legilimency on the Dark Lord? From here? Through the connection?' Harry asked in his head that night, while Ginny slept.
'Well now, Harry, a good idea…'
'Good? Now I don't want to do it.'
Tom ignored them and plunged them into Voldemort's head.
"-Media does not mean we are free to be reckless. You will all continue to protect your identities when necessary. I will require all Death Eaters to be battle-ready before the end of the month, at the current rate," the Dark Lord said, and the people at the table all nodded, two dozen 'Yes, my Lord's.'
Tom ignored the meeting and searched for a memory, for any kind of give. Voldemort was a skilled Occlumens, but unfortunately for himself, he was also a skilled Legilimens.
Nagini held both sides of the Boy Who Lived's head, keeping him under while the Dark Lord watched her face. She had Ravenclaw's Diadem on her head, making the scene all the more bizarre, made stranger to him still by its occurrence in the Slytherin Common Room.
"You shouldn't have given him a mark," she told him in Parseltongue, frowning at the lake.
"I think I should have. tell me why not," he asked her, savage satisfaction still coursing through him.
'You're A DISGUSTING FOUL MONSTER FULL OF HATE NOTHING BUT-' The thing in his head was unhappy with his recent behaviour, making the victory that much sweeter.
"The prophecy called you equal…" She glared at him as she spoke, and he rolled his eyes.
She was being incessant with it, so much so that he regretted, for the first time, telling her everything, "Prophecy can be undone. He is property. He is my Horcrux."
"Am I your property, Tom? Are you his property?"
He stood abruptly, snatched the diadem off her head, and took the stairs two at a time.
He called over his shoulder, "I will collect you when it is time for you to leave. Soon."
Tom hesitated in the Dark Lord's head, then searched for another memory.
"-You to… Kill people I- this isn't me…"
"I did nothing to assist you, other than clear your mind with the pain. You saw what you wanted, sought it out and took it, all I did… Was watch. So, you tell me, who is who?"
"It isn't just pain, and you know it… It's-"
"I have grown bored of you pretending you are not more than fine with it."
He'd frozen outside the statue, shocked entirely still by the sound of Parseltongue coming from within it, momentarily unable to comprehend it before he understood, and his blood turned to molten steel.
He pushed through the gap, wand ready, vision tunnelling. As soon as he locked eyes on the Boy Who Lived, scrambling toward the shelves, HIS shelves, he slammed him into the stone, making short work of the distance. He desperately wanted to finish him right there, how much was he worth really? One Horcrux? Prophesied, but repugnant, useful only so far as his celebrity threw him, less so as he used it up… Transformed their precious Golden One into an enemy of the people…
'Monster, monster, typical of youuu MONSTER you'll DIE IN THE DIRT ALONE ALONE I'LL WATCH-'
"Why would you bring him here? What is wrong with you?" He shoved him repeatedly, hoped to break a rib, furious with the thing in his head, with what he'd been reduced to.
And now nowhere was safe from the bane of his existence, he was everywhere. He was here, in his sanctuary…
'You're NOT SAFE YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL I CAN'T WAI-'
The voice was abruptly, bizarrely silenced when the whelp grabbed his forearm, cut off mid-sentence as though dunked underwater. The Boy Who Lived tried to speak but stopped, went limp, and closed his eyes. Shock held him still for a moment before he disconnected, baffled.
'…NO NO NO! DON'T I WANT TO GO BACK I WANT TO GO BACK-'
"Get. Out."
He stood, panting, chest heaving; until he was sure he was alone, then he raised his wand, "Corporea Lux!"
The blinding light seared his mind clear.
Tom pulled them out entirely then, both staring, silent.
Tom had called Kreacher the next morning and requested a copy of the Daily Prophet with their breakfast.
"ENEMIES OF PROGRESS BEWARE"
THE EVE OF WAR?
"Pictured from left to right: Corban Yaxley, Pius Thicknesse, shaking hands with the Dark Lord Voldemort (In regalia),
with familiar, Nagini, Thorfinn Rowle, Antonin Dolohov, and Amycus Carrow"
The eleventh of September brought shock and awe
To the Ministry of Magic when the Dark Lord Voldemort
Made an appearance with a force of Death Eaters,
to address the Wizarding World at large:
"We stand at the precipice of war. I come before you to
Offer peace. Those who do not resist change,
Have nothing to fear. Those who resist; those who
Wish to remain blinded, will find my justice, and my fury,
Swift." The Dark Lord's agenda comes as no surprise to
Some, Corban Yaxley was quoted: "He has a vision. We aim to
See it through. The Minister, Mister Thicknesse, supports
Him one hundred percent, as we all do. For too long, there has
Been inequality within the Ministry and without.
Already, we are working on regulations that would
Aim to release many from centuries of oppression,
And we are emptying cells of those whose
Only crime is to exist. Enemies of progress beware."
…
The picture showed the Dark Lord, his mask black with what was probably silver detailing, intricate line-work on the skull face. Nagini was on his shoulders with her nose nearly touching Pius Thicknesses' face as he shook hands with Voldemort. The rest of the Death Eaters were unmasked.
"You wanted the paper because he said something about the media, didn't you?" Harry wondered out loud.
"What?" Ginny asked, she'd been reading it with him and had put down her tea.
"Oh- no, just… Obviously, he's taken over the newspaper, at least. And he's confident enough to… Just walk into the Ministry that's… New."
"He said that they should remain 'Masked when necessary'? Does that mean that…" Harry asked in Parseltongue.
"Yes. They are unmasked. It is no longer illegal to support Lord Voldemort."
"It's- it's creepy when you do that," she was still looking at the newspaper, "I was going to ask you… About his mask? Like- he never wore one before… And since when does he care about- whatever they're talking about? Oppression? Inequality? Surely that's…"
"As far as I can tell it is true," Tom interrupted her, "You are not in prison, are you? From what I have seen… All accurate. His mask-"
Harry snapped his mouth shut, not wanting to pull on that thread, for her to question why he looked suddenly normal.
"I have no idea," Harry said woodenly, and Tom narrowed his eyes.
'You lie all the time and call me the liar.'
'Shut up that's not true,' Harry thought back.
"Gin… That night, in the clearing- when you put the knife up… To your neck were you… Going to-" Harry didn't finish his question.
It was late and they were still sat up, silent for at least an hour before he'd broken the stillness.
"My- my worst nightmare felt like it had… Come true in that moment. I thought for sure you'd- you'd never forgive it, that I'd done too much, that I couldn't excuse it, and I saw mum's face, in my mind, I saw her face with the expression you had… Then I saw them all, I saw the cell they'd probably put me in and I- I think I was going to- to-" She didn't look at him as she spoke, her face was still, lit by only the moonlight and one brazier in the far corner.
"I'm glad I- that I stopped you. Well, Tom stopped you, actually. You know I never blamed you; I blame-"
Tom closed his mouth to stop him from finishing his sentence, making him frown deeper.
"It wasn't your fault we were… trying to get the prophecy…" She stopped, looking at him like she was going to cry.
"Yeah. It was fake. So, it was for nothing, on top of being the stupidest thing I've ever done. I ruined everything for everyone that night Ginny."
She went quiet and Harry looked away so he wouldn't see her tears.
"The one Trelawney gave… Gave to Professor Dumbledore was… You'd never look at me the same. It changes-" his hands shook as he realized all she needed to do was ask, now, and he would tell her.
"…What does it say, Harry?"
He flinched, swallowed the sob that wanted to escape and closed his eyes while he tried to focus.
'No, I'll… I'll say it. Let me do it,' Harry thought when he felt Tom forming the words.
"The one with power to- to rival the Dark Lord's own approaches…" He closed his eyes because he couldn't watch.
"…Born as the seventh month dies. They will mark each other… Equal, both entrusted to those who revile their true nature. Each will hold power the other knows not, and each must… Die at the hand of the other, for neither can- neither can die while the other survives, the Dark Lord's… Equal shall rise as the seventh month dies," he didn't open his eyes, hoping that some of her expression might have worn off in the thirty seconds that they remained squeezed shut.
When he looked at her, he decided it probably hadn't. She had her hand over her mouth, wide open behind her palm, brows joined in the middle, eyes like saucers and watering.
"…That- that makes it seem like… Like you're…?"
"I can't… I feel sick not telling you all of it. But if I told you, Ginny, I've done things- when we were fused, I became- became more like him. I- I can't control it, and I've…" He shuddered and stopped talking, feeling like he'd already said enough, like it was already too much.
"…Did- did You-Know-Who force you to-"
"He offered me options. I didn't- I didn't really resist. I- I made counteroffers…" He shot out of his seat and rummaged through his bedside drawers for some draughts, not wanting to summon the curse.
He grabbed her some and downed three of his own, still not sitting back down.
"…What did you do?"
"I can't. I can't," he was pacing, "I'm not me anymore. I'm… You've seen him. With Hermione, Seamus, and Lavender. He wanted- I- I wanted…" He took a broken inhale, "I wanted to hurt them. I want to…" Suddenly he was sitting on the floor in a heap.
"…Harry," she was next to him, crying too as she leaned her head on his shoulder.
"…Why haven't you… Why would you stay, Gin, I don't understand…"
"You say you're like him, but you protected me no matter what."
'…I can't believe she's not gone…' Harry thought. She'd fallen asleep in his bed, and he'd left her there, choosing to lie on the two-seater, his mind still racing.
'You've mentioned it,' Tom seemed disinterested in his thoughts, busy cultivating and hiding his own.
Harry's mind wandered, unbidden, to what Tom had said, about his ears going red...
'I have been counting, Harry, for fun. How many times you have thought about my 'misunderstanding' your… Reactions. Seventy-two times today…'
'Fuck off it has not been seventy-two times you just made that up.'
'You know I could prove it. I would happily show you…'
'…Shut up.'
Immediately, and infuriatingly, he thought about the curse. Tom summoned it readily in the same instant, as though he'd been waiting for it.
'Why did you create it?' Harry wondered, swallowing as it reached from his arm, held above him, snaking toward his face.
'Is it not obvious? I was looking for a way to get it out.'
The darkness touched his throat, feather-light, twisting and tracing patterns, stinging. He sucked in a breath as it wound around his neck. When it squeezed, he moaned, a small sound that rolled his stomach violently, lept his heart into his mouth; all the blood flooding to his middle and making him buck his hips. Tom released him, face hot, pulse thundering, muscles twitching. He sat up, embarrassed by how hard he was, worried that if he had been alone, he might not have… And overall, heavily confused.
Tom was thankfully silent, leaving Harry to lay back down and frown at the clouds.