Red Run Cold, World's First Cinema
I can taste my blood is in the water
I can feel it getting warmer
but my hearts run cold
You kept me safe until the water froze
and I became too much to hold
till you let me go
And all the blood that's left inside my heart
is not enough to keep me warm
He'd seen the sunrise on Friday morning, again unable to sleep. He'd watched the map, awaiting Ginny's return. She did, with Eris and Avalon, at around six thirty. The trio headed straight for the hall, and Harry dressed and did the same.
She was already frowning at him as he approached. The three of them were some of the only students in the hall. Ginny and Avalon were carving runes into large red pillar candles. For some reason, Harry noticing this made her frown deepen as he sat down across from her.
"They're for Skulmadras. They need to be carved by hand," she told him, a dare in her statement.
"Ginny… He's going to —while he's there, he's—he's taking me with him; I'm leaving tomorrow night," he paused to flick his eyes at Eris and Avalon, then decided it didn't matter anyway. He's going to show them all that I'm…" He looked at his right arm and then up at her, exhausted.
"Oh," she'd put her candle on the table with a thud.
"So you are? A Death Eater?" Eris asked.
"Not because I was thrilled at the opportunity," Harry ground out, not looking at Eris.
"If- if he's going to do that, we could- we could be there to support you," Ginny said.
Harry gave her a dubious look, "Gin, I appreciate that, but…"
"You always do that. You always want to go it alone," she leaned across the table and stared at him intensely.
"…Ginny, if I had been alone at the Ministry…"
"You would have died! If you had have told someone what was going on with you afterwards; if you weren't alone in that-"
"Don't," he warned, "I made a mistake. I keep making mistakes. If you're there… I couldn't take it if another mistake cost me you."
'Eris' knuckles are white,' Tom noted in their head, and Harry saw that he was right; Eris was gripping his knife and fork like they were the weapons he'd fight to the death with, though his face was blank as usual.
"I'm going, Harry; I'm going to be there for you whether you want me to or not," she said, and he stood up, already regretting the conversation. He'd somehow managed to cement it.
He clambered out of the bench seat and muttered that he was leaving, unable to bear the reality of it any longer. He wandered nearly mindlessly out the side doors into the Viaduct Courtyard he seldom entered, the image of the headmaster always ready to sizzle into his brain to leave an imprint that lasted hours. He kept his eyes mostly closed as he rapidly crossed the space through the iron gates to the stairs that led down to the boathouse. He took them at the same speed —eyes finally open— ignoring the steepness of the decline. He sat at a stone bench near the bottom, puffed from the sheer length of the descent, tucking his legs up and facing the water and the rail bridge in the distance.
"If I told her he wanted me dead as soon as I was useless, she'd probably offer to hold my hand," Harry said into his knees.
'Loyalty is not a negative trait,' Tom thought.
"She's going to get herself killed."
"…Who are you talking to?" Eris's voice nearly had him out of his skin, and he stood instantly, almost startling down the rest of the slope to the docks.
"Aha! Announce yourself? Fuck," Harry shook his arms, the curse prickling just under the surface, "Myself. I'm talking to myself. Why are you following me?"
"He wants you dead? His most famous Death Eater?"
"I'm Harry Potter. He's been trying to kill me since I learned to sit up."
"Mm, you meant something different, though," he said, squinting at Harry, his stance entirely casual as he slowly approached the bench.
"I don't see how sneaking up on me makes it your business."
"You said Ginny is in danger? Because he wants you dead?"
"She doesn't know. If you tell her…"
"Oh, you'll use your dark magic on me? Tsk," he sat down abruptly.
Harry ignored the way he disregarded the curse, "If… If he did kill me, and- would Cedrum take her and run?"
"Yes."
"And he has ways to keep her safe?"
"Several," Eris watched him like a hawk, repeatedly scanning his face and eyes as Harry sat beside him.
"Okay… Good."
"You seem sure he's going to kill you."
"It's just a hunch," Harry lied.
"Why not tell her?"
"Tell her that her best friend is going to die?" He scoffed.
Eris' eyes narrowed further, nearly closed.
"…What?"
"Nothing. I'll be seeing you," he stood as suddenly as he'd sat down, leaving Harry where he'd found him.
'…What is going on there?' Harry wondered.
'I don't know.'
After talking with Eris, he'd sequestered himself in the Room of Requirement, not in the mood for classes or his cohort, watching his friends move around the map, Ginny with Eris and Avalon every possible moment outside of her schoolwork, with Luna in some of her classes. Draco came to stand still outside the Room of Requirement during lunch, and Harry opened the doors. The blonde entered his room like he was there all the time, clocking the armchairs and taking one while Harry sat down across from him.
"…Dumbledore, huh?" Draco looked at him like he'd never seen him before, finally able to drop the mask and ask the questions.
"…Yeah."
"And you- I mean, obviously you did it…"
"Yeah..." Harry didn't meet his eyes; knew his face was red, feeling nearly insane confessing the murder of Albus Dumbledore to Draco Malfoy, his arms and legs vibrating with pins and needles, almost numb as all the blood rushed into his skull.
"And you're going to raid Azkaban?"
Harry nodded too fast, "On Sunday. Then… Skulmadras. Where he's going to announce," he lifted his right arm.
"Why's it on the wrong side?" The blonde breezed past the part where Harry said he'd be announced at the gathering.
"Uhh, I was- I had my magic on my left arm."
"It's different too. Tiny. The snake is different," the blonde glanced at his arm as if he wanted another look.
"Yeah. I don't know."
"And you think he's going to…"
"I pretty much know he's going to kill me, yep. Don't tell anyone that. Or any of it. I told you all of this in a moment of… I don't know. I found out that you were my Voldemort-approved friend, and I was already having a crap week."
'Understatement,' Tom thought.
"Why would he order me to be friends with you and then kill you?"
"Nagini. The night he caught the DA, he made me show Ginny and Hermione my mark. Nagini made him order you to keep me company afterwards, I guess. She's…" He didn't have the words to describe Nagini or why she would insist that he not be alone.
"And all that stuff with the wards and you exploding… At the Manor?" He wildly flipped from question to question, seemingly barely taking in the answers.
"It's better you don't know why."
"Why does he want to kill you? You're- you'd be-"
"A powerful political tool?" Tom said, "Yes. I am."
"Yeah. So then, why kill you?"
"Also, best you don't know," Harry told him.
Draco was bouncing his leg then, rapidly, his eyes on the coffee table, "And why- why is it-" he went still and didn't appear to be breathing, "Why are you like him?"
"Again, dangerous information," Tom said.
He seemed more concerned than before he asked the question, "I was sort of hoping you'd deny it."
Harry shrugged, "Sorry."
There was a short silence where the Malfoy narrowed his eyes at him, then said:
"I'm guessing Cassiopeia is taking you to the Manor tomorrow night?"
"Yeah, how do you know?"
"I'm going too."
"To Azkaban?" Harry asked.
"No, but… Mother wants me home," he was twirling a large ring on his thumb; a glance showed him it bore the Malfoy crest.
"…Makes sense. How much do you know about Azkaban? And Skulmadras?"
He shook his head, "I've told you everything I can."
As he let Draco out, Ginny came in.
"Oh, hi. Oh, bye," she said. The blonde gave her a curt wave as they passed each other.
Harry shut her in the room, beyond ready to sleep.
"Why didn't you tell me that You-Know-Who was taking you to Skulmadras?" She began, not sitting down and clutching her bag to her chest.
"Well, for starters, I didn't know it was called that. Secondly, I didn't want to talk about it. I've—Gin, I'm…" Adrenaline began to hit him in waves each time he thought about Azkaban or Bulgaria, creeping closer every minute. Less than twenty-four hours remained until he left the castle.
'I'm scared,' he thought, unable to say it aloud.
Tom didn't respond; instead, he showed Harry his fear, an immense, yawning abyss screaming in his head, then hid it away again. His heart skipped a beat, picked up its pace, and he heaved a shuddering sigh louder than intended.
"…You're not telling me everything?" She guessed, "Is that why you think it's unsafe?"
"…It is unsafe. I'm leaving tomorrow night because he wants to take me to Azkaban first. He thinks I can break the wards with the curse. If anything happens… At this actual Death Eater gathering, Ginny, that's what this is. Promise me that you'll run. With Cedrum and the others. Don't come back, okay? Promise me."
"Azkaban? He's breaking them all out?" Her eyes were wider, but she wasn't as shocked or appalled as he would have liked. She didn't let him answer, "What do you mean? What's going to happen at Skulmadras? Apart from…"
"I don't know, nothing. I hope. But- at any point, on any day, if something goes wrong… Because I'm playing with fire, you get that, right?" He was talking barely above a whisper.
She frowned, chewing her thumb, then nodded, "Okay. I promise."
Saturday morning, Harry, Ginny, and the usual Slytherins —Pansy, Draco, Avalon, and Eris— gathered in the Vivarium. Harry hoped to see Buckbeak before the day was out. The new Hippogriff, named Iphine, had finally left her crate in favour of a larger shelter that she was subsequently refusing to leave.
He didn't see Buckbeak, though Ginny assured him he'd been seen alive relatively recently, circling over the water. He was quiet as the girls and Draco gossiped, switching topics faster than he cared to register.
"Ginny… Does your family- do they know, about any of this?" Harry asked her quietly while Pansy and Avalon discussed the parties they planned to attend during Skulmadras.
"…No one said anything to me. And I've kind of been expecting it, but not yet. I thought Hermione would have told them everything by now…"
"Cassiopeia is regulating the post. She must be ensuring that you are protected as well," Tom said.
"She's checking our mail?" Pansy asked, tuning into their conversation and whipping to look at them.
"Not that big of a shock, is it?" Draco asked in return.
"Well, no, but… I mean, bit of an invasion of privacy," Pansy said, her cheeks red. For some reason, she kept glancing at Harry with wide eyes.
"…She's keeping me safe too?" Ginny whispered to Harry, who nodded.
"Yeah, I mean, she kind of… Has the entire time…" Harry said while Tom added, "In her particular way."
"Why?"
Harry shrugged, "I don't really know why she does anything."
"You're leaving tonight, right Draco?" pansy asked, over the top of their muttered discussion.
"Yeah. Family stuff. Preparation. I told you. We'll be leaving for Skulmadras on Sunday night, or Monday morning… It depends on... Has your father gotten back to you about your accommodation? If you still don't know where you'll be, mother will know, once we're there. We'll find you. Is… Have you spoken to Blaise?"
She shrugged, "Not really, he's being insufferable. I don't want to see him while we're there, to be honest. Is that even possible? What about you, are you going to be there? Or are you still not confirming or denying whether or not you're a…" Pansy trailed off, waggling her eyebrows at Harry, while Draco shushed her and sat forward.
"Pansy."
"I'll be there. I don't think I'll be free to hang out," Harry responded.
"So… You are a-"
Harry yanked his right sleeve up and averted his eyes, heat rushing his cheeks, "Does that answer your question, Pansy?"
Soon, the world would know it was there, the thought making bile rise and burn his throat before he swallowed repeatedly.
"…Why does it look different?" She asked, seemingly unworried by Harry's discomfort, gasping as she leaned in to look, "That's crazy. This is crazy."
"Pansy," Draco hissed again, though he'd had the same question.
Ginny, Eris, and Avalon were silent, while Harry's head felt like it was swelling with pressure.
'Why would owning me turn you on?' Harry wondered suddenly, sharply, his mind on the mark. The size of his other problems made his anxiety over his strange relationship with the Horcrux smaller, somehow easier to confront, almost a welcome distraction in the face of his reality.
'I have a counter question for you, Harry… Why would the idea arouse you?'
'You think you're right all the time but you're wrong I think it's-'
'Sick?'
Harry's stomach somersaulted, giving him away. He shuddered, realised that the others were still speaking at or about him, and shook his head repeatedly, "I said I'd be there. Yes, I'm a- a Death Eater. Not by choice, he just put the mark on me. I'm done talking about it."
"Let's give him some space," Eris said, standing up and offering a hand to Ginny, who took it; she then pulled Avalon up in turn. Draco and Pansy followed suit while Harry squinted at Eris, who was already walking away.
"Meet us at lunch, okay?" Ginny told him, and he nodded, still frowning, though it melted away as they stepped through the Vivarium doors. He closed his eyes and fell back in the grass.
'It doesn't,' Harry thought.
'Pardon?'
'It doesn't 'arouse me' that you think you own me.'
"Because you think it is sick?" Tom asked in Parseltongue.
"…Yes."
"Do you truly believe that I do not know what you feel?"
"…I wish you'd let me believe it," Harry hissed, opening his eyes and sitting back up, suddenly intensely self-conscious.
"Where is the fun in that."
"Alright, asshole, why does it turn you on? Why do I turn you on? Huh? Like I'm the only sick…" Harry got to his feet and stalked through the grass, cliff on one side, forest on the other, too much energy in his limbs.
Tom laughed out loud, his emotions carefully hidden as usual.
"Why is that funny?"
"You do not want the answer. You are thinking it right now. You only hope it will make me uncomfortable."
"Is it working?"
"No."
"…Whatever."
"I am so glad we have these productive conversations, Harry."
"Shut up."
Each time Tom checked the Dark Lord's head he was directing Death Eaters, delegating tasks for either Skulmadras or Azkaban. As far as they could discern, only a small group would be going with them to the prison, the rest engaged in media, organisation, or politics, the prison raid on a need-to-know basis.
'He's putting a lot of faith in our magic,' Harry thought.
He hadn't met Ginny and the Slytherins for lunch, instead staying in the Vivarium and brooding all day, sitting high in a tree, obscured by the branches, watching a gathering of Jackalopes head-butting each other, locking horns and jackrabbiting in the leaf litter below.
'What are the wards at Azkaban like?'
'Stronger than those that were in place here,' Tom answered.
'…What if we can't break them?'
'There is no point speculating. We go, we try. We are not in control.'
Harry sighed and startled the rabbit-like creatures away at high speed.
Panic settled in for the night as the sun got nearer the horizon. He'd stayed in the tree but was startled down by the nearness of the sunset. He took the map out of his pocket and spotted Ginny with Eris and Avalon in the library.
There were fewer Death Eaters in the castle and on the grounds, no doubt due to the upcoming events, though he wasn't sure why there had been an uptick in numbers in the first place.
He ignored the loud muttering of the students he passed on his way to Ginny, made braver by fewer of Voldemort's followers roaming the halls. He felt blessed not to see Hermione or her sidekicks.
"Harry! There you are. I was getting worried that you'd left-"
"Sorry," he interrupted Ginny, "Apparently, I did need space," he glanced at Eris, who was looking at the youngest Weasley.
He sat down in one of the free armchairs and noted the candle in Ginny's and the others' hands, each of them still carving.
"How many do you need?" He asked her.
"Loads. Are you okay?"
"Not really," he gave her a small smile anyway.
He didn't say much to them as they worked, and they let him sit in silence.
When Cassiopeia found them, Draco was with her. She gave him a nod, and he stood up. Ginny also stood up; he hugged her and squeezed her head to his chest.
"I wish you'd reconsider," he told her hair.
"Yeah, I know." She didn't let him go for a long moment, and he had to stop breathing not to cry.
"I'll see you… Soon. Alright? Be safe. You'll keep her safe," he directed the last part at Eris, who nodded sharply.
She finally let him go, tears freely streaming from her face as she squeezed his hand and risked a glance at Cassiopeia before she released his hand. Harry left them and followed Draco and Cassiopeia from the shelves, heart in his throat.
He'd been sequestered—under his invisibility cloak—in a private sitting room by Cassiopeia in the Malfoy Manor after being side-along Apparated at the edge of the Hogwarts wards. The mansion was buzzing, the halls and rooms full of unmasked Death Eaters dressed casually, paperwork on every surface, owls and envelopes zooming above their heads with regularity, and the walls filled with excited chatter.
Draco had stayed silent, detecting Harry's mood. Tom was taking the same route, though he was quiet because he was working to contain his thoughts, carefully attending to them while Harry panicked internally.
Without warning, Tom drove them into the Dark Lord's mind.
"-The whole thing, I know I keep saying it. But I am…" Cassiopeia shook herself, "…I am genuinely hating this. Enos… His whole fucking gaggle of- and they know- they knew her. They knew Sarette. And I know, I know for sure that someone will say something… Look. You're political, okay? You're always doing the fancy dance, and you can keep your face all neat, but I can't do this like that."
In case she wasn't done, he waited before saying, "I need you with me on this."
"Mm. You've been asking loads of me lately," she crossed her arms and her legs, glaring at the carpet.
'HATTES YOU HAHA THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE CAN'T STANNNND-'
"Do you hate me for it?" He asked, sucked momentarily into the weakness that the thing kept needling, making him want to scoop out and wash his brain.
She stopped frowning and met his eyes, searching his face. "Are you an idiot?" She leaned forward and clicked her fingers three times in front of him. "Do I hate you?" She guffawed.
"You're brain damaged, that's what it is, right? Your big secret? Total brain death? I'm here because I hate you so much, Tom Riddle; I'm going to sit at a table with my enemies for your sake because I'm so sick of your shit. The last part is true; I'm so sick of your shit. I- I love you. Asshat. You're my brother in all but blood," her tone had grown deeply serious, then she said:
"Come on, we'll shave your head and tape your nose flat. That will cheer you up."
Tom removed them and didn't comment.