[Scene opens in a dark, damp cave. Lincoln stands up, rubbing his head. His orange shirt is covered in dirt, his shoes are wet, and he smells like a dead fish that lost a fight with a sewer rat.]
LINCOLN: (groggy) Ugh… Where the heck am I now? This place smells like wet socks and bad decisions.
[Suddenly, the ground shakes. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. The sound of massive, thudding footsteps echoes through the cave. A SHADOW looms over Lincoln. He slowly turns around.]
LINCOLN: (nervous) Oh… That's not good.
[A MASSIVE CAVEWOMAN steps into the dim light. She's built like a prehistoric tank, with long, wild blonde hair, thick eyebrows, and a fur outfit that looks like she skinned a bear in her spare time. Her biceps could crush coconuts. Her face… oddly familiar. Too familiar.]
JUNE: (loud as hell) WELL, WELL, WELL. LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE SHIT WALKED INTO MY CAVE.
LINCOLN: (internal screaming) Oh no. Oh god. She looks like Leni. She sounds like Leni. BUT SHE'S BUFF AND SWEARS LIKE A DRUNKEN SAILOR.
JUNE: (grinning) WHAT'S WRONG, TINY BOY? NEVER SEEN A WOMAN WHO COULD FOLD YOU LIKE A PRETZEL?
LINCOLN: (gulp) I mean… I usually try to avoid that situation.
[June stomps closer, crouching down so her massive face is inches from Lincoln's. Her breath smells like raw meat and bad choices.]
JUNE: (grinning) YOU'RE FUNNY. I LIKE FUNNY.
LINCOLN: (fake laughing) Haha, great, love that for me.
[She suddenly SCOOPS HIM UP like he's a damn teddy bear and SQUEEZES him against her chest.]
JUNE: (crushing him) I LIKE YOU, TINY BOY. YOU'RE MINE NOW.
LINCOLN: (muffled, dying) Please… bones… breaking…
[She finally lets go. Lincoln drops to the ground like a sack of potatoes, gasping for air.]
JUNE: YOU LOST?
LINCOLN: (wheezing) You could say that.
JUNE: WHAT YOU LOOKING FOR? FOOD? FIRE? WEAPONS? CAVEWEED?
LINCOLN: (confused) Caveweed—? No! I need trinkets. Lots of them.
JUNE: (cracking knuckles) OHHH. YOU WANT THE GOOD SHIT.
[She points dramatically towards the mouth of the cave.]
JUNE: YOU WANNA HIT THE BAT TOWER. THAT'S WHERE THE REAL TREASURE IS. FULL OF SHINY, USELESS GARBAGE.
LINCOLN: (hopeful) Shiny, useless garbage is exactly what I need!
JUNE: (grinning) THEN LET'S GO, TINY BOY. I'LL BE YOUR BODYGUARD. NO ONE FUCKS WITH JUNE.
LINCOLN: (nervous) Why do I feel like this is going to end very, very badly?
[As June throws Lincoln over her shoulder like a damn sack of rice, the scene fades to black. The journey to Bat Tower begins…]