Chapter 11: In the Eyes of the Beholder

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or its characters.

Loke's words hung around Nathan's head as he slowly turned to look back at the disgruntled spirit that stood behind him. He knew Loke had figured him out as soon as he saw that look in the lion's eyes in the training grounds. His mouth felt dry as he desperately searched for a way out. What could he say to convince Loke he wasn't hiding anything? Nothing. The only hope now was to convince Lucy's faithful spirit not to tell her the truth. Nathan looked at Loke with blank sunken eyes, as he realized that he himself did not know the full truth of why he was in this situation to begin with. The only crime he himself had committed thus far was lying to his friends and pretending to be something he was not, a stranger they have never met before.

"Loke," Nathan quietly spoke, "I am sorry. I don't know how to explain myself right now. I was Natsu Dragneel, but clearly I am not anymore. I woke up not long ago with only a fraction of my sense of self, and realized that I had been dead for three years. This isn't even Natsu's body. I gained my memories of Natsu a few days ago when I saw the bronze dragon statue, but that didn't change the fact that Natsu is gone. I am not Natsu, I am merely a broken shell trying to start over and make right by the people I love who I wasn't there for. I cannot tell you where I was the past three years, why my magic is different, and why my appearance has changed so drastically. I had no choice but to lie, how could I convince the guild I was Natsu and possibly make them think I was playing some kind of sick joke on them? Natsu was a destructive immature brat who never even had the balls to tell the woman of his dreams he loved her. That's not me anymore, I am Nathan Fernandes. This is my chance to start over, do things right with Lucy. Get to know even more about her, and fall in love with her all over again. If she can love me back like she did Natsu, then I will have everything I need. Do you really want to ruin that for me?"

Loke bore into Nathan's eyes, stunned still by what he just heard. He had a hard time believing the stranger. Natsu wouldn't have just accepted his absence from everyone's lives for three years and try to act like it was nothing. The soul of Natsu was still clearly living on, but this man in front of him was certainly someone else. Is this all to protect Lucy from the pain and hurt that Natsu was still alive in some form? That her three years of crying and mourning were for nothing? That didn't seem to fair to her, she deserved to know the man she loved was not truly dead.

"You can't just forget about Natsu. That's still who you are at your core, you're just taking advantage of the situation to try and make yourself look better! How is that fair to Lucy?! You're just going to lie to her for the rest of your life? What if she never loves Nathan, and her heart only belongs to Natsu? What are you going to do then?"

Nathan shut his eyes in frustration and pointed his head towards the tiled floor beneath him. "Shut up Loke! I know how tricky this whole thing is! You have no idea how emotionally draining it is to act like I hardly know her! She's everything to me and I can't just run up and hug her, or stay or at her place anymore, or grab her wrist on go on the next adventure. I have to start over. She doesn't need Natsu right now! She's been suffering because of him for three years! She needs me! She needs something new in her life that can always be there for her physically and emotionally. My mind is clear now about how much I love her. I will make her happy."

Loke pinched his brows and sighed, "What if she finds out the truth? How will you make her happy then?"

Nathan opened his eyes narrowly and glanced at the spirit, "She won't. The only ones who could tell her would be you and her other spirits. If you're so worried about me, hold that over my head forever so I won't slip up. I will make things right for her, and the truth can be my punishment if things go wrong. She can decide then if I have any worth to her, I have already made my bed and I have to sleep in it."

Loke glared at Nathan and then his eyes softened a little as he took a breath. " This is a dangerous road you're taking Nats-Nathan. You could lose everything you're trying to get back."

Nathan smirked slightly at the spirit's words, "I am a member of Fairy Tail, there is no danger I would run away from in the pursuit of my goals. I am turning my dilemma into an opportunity to do what's right, both for me, and my guild. Natsu's absensce has been greatly felt, and I am here to make up for it."

The lion spirit smirked back at him, "Fine. I will trust you then. I don't need to tell you what will happen if you hurt her I'm sure. Just remember the truth always comes out one way or the other. You need to be ready for that day."

The celestial spirit began to dissolve into gold glitter as Nathan replied to his parting words, "I know. I will be ready."

When the shimmering form of his former guildmate completely vanished Nathan leaned against the wall of the shower stall. He turned on the shower to drown out his heavy breathing as all of his pent up anxiety seemed to leak out of him. He stood in the hot water for what felt like hours as he contemplated what would happen if Lucy did find out the truth. All the pain she would go through all over again, and possibly cutting him out of her life forever. Worst of all, he still did not know what the complete truth was.

Lucy sat in the guild hall waiting for Nathan to finish his shower. She felt like he had been in there for a while and wondered if he was okay. She was also still thinking about Loke's reaction to seeing Nathan, and decided she would summon the flirty lion tonight when she returned home. She was thrown out of her worries, when Nathan appeared from the back of the guild hall, hair still damp and wearing a fresh set of clothes. He smiled at her, but she thought she saw a hint of something else in his eyes. A hint of worry or sadness of some kind. She smiled back at him pushing her curiosity to the back of her mind as he approached her. He sat next to her and they looked into each other's eyes for a moment before she broke the silence.

" That was fun this morning! I wasn't expecting you to give Loke such a good run for his money!"

Nathan smirked back at her. "Wow you really thought I was just some sort of pushover didn't ya? That really hurts Lucy, we may be partners some day!"

A light blush coated the young celestial mage's cheeks, "Oh shut up, I had no idea what to expect okay! I hardly know you at all, you really think I can accurately judge people and what they can do based on first impressions?!"

Nathan chuckled at how flustered he could still make Lucy even now, "Why Ms. Heartfilia! You shouldn't be judging people at all based on first impressions! Haven't you ever heard of not judging a book by its cover? "

Lucy huffed at her companion, "I DO NOT JUDGE PEOPLE! I think highly of everyone I meet unless they do something to change my perception of them."

Nathan shivered slightly at her words, but didn't let his face show much her words impacted him. "Well, if I may ask, what is your perception of me so far?"

Lucy's blush returned as she squirmed in her stool slightly. She knew this man was teasing her but she was angry at herself for getting so flustered by him. " You seem like a good soul. You're strong and endearing. You're the perfect mage to be in Fairy Tail." You're cute too but there's no way in hell I am telling you that.

"Wow short and simple eh? That's all I get? I guess you didn't say anything bad about me so it's a good start. I will just have to spend more time with you now won't I?"

Lucy playfully punched his arm, "I suppose I wouldn't mind that. Why don't you tell me your impression of me so far hmmmm?"

Nathan gulped a little at this, " Well errrr…. You definitely seem like a very capable mage, and you wear your heart on your sleeve. I am glad to be spending time with you and I really do think we could be great partners together… well I mean to do missions of course!"

It was Nathan's turn to blush as he held his tongue to what he really wanted to say. You're the best part of my life. Even after waking up into a new existence, seeing you every day and being in your presence is all I can ask for. You are the most beautiful woman under the stars, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

That would certainly guarantee a Lucy kick to his face at minimum.

Lucy giggled at his words, oh how he adored that sound. "Yeah, I think we could make a great team too! Speaking of which, you wanted to look at the job board right!"

Nathan's eyes lit up at the reminder, "Yeah that's right! We gotta go on our first job together! I guess that will decide how great of partners we would make huh."

Just as the two were sitting up from their seats, the doors to the guild opened and Nathan's heart sank. Jellal and Erza had walked into the guild looking directly at him, and as they approached Nathan knew whatever he was about to hear wouldn't be good. Lucy looked at Jellal and Erza then glanced back at Nathan, knowing in her heart something was wrong. She stood in silence as Jellal stopped in front of Nathan and spoke to him in a flat tone.

"Nathan, I am sorry to interrupt your day like this but I need your help with something. Please come with me, I will explain on the way."

Lucy's eyes widened at Jellal's request, " Hey Jellal! We were about go on a mission together! What's going on? What do you need him for?"

Jellal glanced at her, an apologetic look on his face. "Forgive me Lucy, but I am afraid this is urgent and has nothing to do with you. We will return here once we are finished and you two can do as you please. Unfortunately, this cannot wait."

Lucy huffed as she was about to reply when Nathan put a hand on her shoulder. "Whatever you need Jellal, I will help you. Lucy, we can pick up where we left off tomorrow. Don't be too upset for me blowing off today okay?" Nathan winked at her.

Jellal nodded and him, Nathan, and Erza proceeded to exit the guild hall. Lucy stood there with a confused expression on her face. That look was soon replaced with a look of determination.

Nothing to do with me eh? We will see about that. Too bad for you Jellal, I have mastered a new form that will come in handy in figuring out what you're up to. And Nathan, if you're hiding something, I am gonna find out what it is. I promise you that.