Bulma's Diary – The stressfull life and near death experinces

by thedbzdiary

Bulma relives the night Goku went full King Kong, wrecking Pilaf's castle as a giant ape. One second, they were escaping; the next, their hillbilly friend turned into a walking disaster. She and Yamcha barely made it out alive! Future Bulma's note: Turns out, that was just the beginning of the "Goku is secretly terrifying" saga.

4. Chapter 5

Yamcha's Totally Cool Log #1 /Bulma's Diary entry #5 (only footnotes this time)

(The Day I, The Greatest Bandit Ever, Saw The Most Beautiful Girl In The World And Immediately Ruined It.)

Alright, bro, listen up. This is gonna be a LEGENDARY story.

So there I was, chilling in my desert hideout with my best bud, Puar. (Shoutout to my ride-or-die. Puar, you're the real MVP.)

And THEN, I see it. A CAR. Out in my desert.

Now, obviously, as The Legendary Bandit of the Wastelands, I had to do what I do best—stop that car, steal all their stuff, and flex on these fools.

So I roll up, looking sick as hell, hair blowing in the wind, dangerous but also handsome—real action movie vibes. And Puar's backing me up, ready to shapeshif into a terrifying monster, real intimidation tactics.

And THEN, I see her.

THIS. GIRL.

Dude. Dude.

She's like a goddess from the city, all stylish, rocking that rich-girl attitude, yelling at everyone like she owns the place. I swear, my heart did a whole KAMEHAMEHA in my chest.

But did I play it cool? Did I drop a smooth one-liner? Did I sweep her off her feet like the handsome rogue I am?

NO.

I freaking panicked.

The second she screamed, I ran.

I, Yamcha, desert bandit extraordinaire, got scared of a pretty girl and ran away like a total idiot.

Puar won't let me live this down.

But mark my words, bro—I'M GONNA REDEEM MYSELF. I don't care what it takes. That girl? She's gonna be mine.

—Yamcha, The Future Coolest Boyfriend Ever (probably)

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DBZ Bulma Footnote – "Oh, Sweetie, You Had No Idea"

Oh, Yamcha. Ohhh, honey.

Reading this back is so funny because I actually did think he was kinda hot back then. You know, before I realized he had the emotional intelligence of a potato and the commitment issues of a stray dog.

Also, sweet summer child, you had NO CHANCE.

And as for me—why did NO ONE warn me that this whole adventure was going to be a mix of near-death experiences, getting kidnapped constantly, and dealing with absolute morons every single day?!

And this was just the beginning.

Kill me.