Special thanks to Helena, I'd love to see your concept arts
After closing the window Brandon grabbed his backpack and pulled a blanket out of it, he then spread the thin cloth around Dawn's shoulders and then pressed her closer to him for a moment
"Is it better?" He asked looking at her
"Much!"
Brandon was about to kiss her again but then she caught him by surprise when she let her hair down, after a few seconds Dawn realized he was staring at her
"You look so..." he only saw her at school with her hair up in a ponytail and it never bothered him (specially because it allowed him to stare at her neck) but seeing her that way, not necessarily prettier but different, felt like meeting another side of her, and he loved it all
"What? I do this when I go to sleep" she shrugged when she realized he was staring at her
"I thought girls held their hairs during the night and let them loose during the day" he fought the urge to just press his nose into her hair and get a huge whiff of her scent like a flower, maybe later
"But I don't, it feels uncomfortable" she shrugged
"Can I touch it?" he asked as he lifted his right hand
"My hair?" she furrowed her eyebrows confused by his request
"Yeah" he replied
"Okay..." she stayed still as he moved his hand through her chocolate tresses
Dawn's hair was even softer than he thought, like cotton, she also enjoyed his warm touch on her head, specially when he went deeper and his fingertips caressed her scalp, it felt almost as intimate as kissing.
"It's so nice, why do you always hold it?" he asked after moving his hand back to the mattress
"I guess it's more manageable that way" she explained, hoping he wouldn't notice the goosebumps on her neck "Uh, can you put my glasses somewhere safe? I can't sleep with them on the bed because I could crush them"
"Sure. Can I try them first?" he was kinda curious to know how they were like
"Really? Okay, if you want" she handed him her specs
"How do I look?" he placed his hand on his chin to pose as intelligent
"I have no idea..." she said squinting "it's all blurry"
He took her glasses off and carefully placed them on the bedside table beside him
"You have real bad sight" he got a little headache as his vision went back to normal
"Yeah, I know" she said "it sucks" she wanted to wear contact lenses but her parents said they would only buy it in a couple of years
"No, you look really cute with your glasses" he cupped her face
"You really think so?" their faces were so close now she could see his expression even without her glasses, he was grinning
"Yeah" the dark shade of blue of Dawn's eyes was officially his new favorite color
They looked into each other's eyes for a moment until they kissed, their parted lips moving on their own accord as their tongues greet each other again. This time was different though, they knew they could do it all night long if they wanted to. They got closer and Brandon moved his hands to both sides of her waist was started slowly pushing her until she reclined flat against the bed, it felt so good Dawn didn't realize what he was trying to do until he started moving his hips.
"Brandon, please don't..." Dawn begged him while he nibbled on her neck
The same second Brandon stopped moving and stared at her as if he just saw a ghost
"I'm sorry, I... got carried away" he immediately got off of her
"No, it's okay" she told him, she was still a little shocked but what surprised her the most was the fact that she wasn't really expecting him to stop the very moment she asked him, she thought he would probably keep pushing her against the mattress or coarse her into it. But he didn't.
Both stayed in silence for a few seconds
"I fucking ruined it didn't I?" he said while he stared at the floor
"Ruin what?" She moved closer to him
"I just promised you I wouldn't hurt you and then a almost did that to you again"
"You didn't do anything wrong, I was enjoying it" she said while looking directly at him
"Really?" he finally looked at her again
"Yes, a lot actually"
"Then why did you ask me to stop?" it didn't make sense to him "I want to do it, you want to do it, so why can't we?"
"I'm afraid of getting pregnant" she explained
"Really?" He didn't think of that "I thought you couldn't yet"
"Well, there is always a shot" she explained to him "and I don't want to risk it"
"It's fine, I get it..." he sighed "I guess it will be better if I slept in the couch"
"What? No! I don't want you to" she grabbed his hand
"Maybe it's the best for now, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable"
"You don't! I rather stay with you" she squeezed his hand tighter "I'll get scared if you don't stay..."
It was true, weird to think how things changed, just a week ago Dawn wanted him far away from her and was afraid of even being in the same room as him. Now she felt like Brandon was the only one who could make her feel safe (and maybe he was).
"Okay"
Dawn moved a little more to the side right of the bed that was closer to the wall and then Brandon lied down right next to her and pulled his blanket so they were both covered by it, the room was dark but the street lights that came through the window was enough so they could see a bit of the environment around them
The two of them were lying on their sides facing each other
"Do you want to talk more? I guess I'm not so sleepy yet" Dawn broke the silence
"Me neither, what do you want to talk about?" he would talk to her all night long if he could
"Well... there are a few things that have been going in my mind that I think I should ask, just to get it out of the way"
"It's okay" he said in a calm tone but actually feeling a little ansious about what she could be referring to "You can say it"
"Brandon"
"Hm?"
"Why do you want to be with me if you think I'm ugly?"
"I don't! Dawn I'm sorry, I never meant it when I called you those things" he felt like shit and he knew he deserved it "You're nothing ugly"
"No, I know I am, it's not just you, everyone else says so" she remembered all the mean things her classmates, her neighbors and even her family used to say about her looks, when people keep telling you something about yourself over and over it gets hard not to believe it after a while
"It doesn't mean it's true, really those assholes have nothing better to do but picking someone to fuck with" he said with an imposing tone until he realized the irony of him saying that "I guess this includes me..."
"But why did do it? Why did you do those nasty things to me?" none of it made sense for her
"Look, sometimes... I don't know why I do most things I do, it doesn't feel wrong in the moment"
"Maybe you just want the attention" Dawn was trying to rationalize it
"Your attention" he replied, mostly thinking out loud
"Even if we're yelling at each other?" she asked him
"Oh specially when we're yelling at each other, I guess I like it when you're mad" he really did
"What? Why?!" she was shocked, he actually enjoyed pushing her buttons
"Because it's fucking cute!" he said with a smirk, he did love the way Dawn would yell at him when she was angry or just annoyed, those were the moments when she wasn't afraid to say what she was thinking were the ones he felt like she was really being herself
"You are unbelievable" she said as she slapped his shoulder
"Thanks" his smirk was still there "But... do you really want to know why?"
"Yes"
"I guess... I was crazy about you and you never even looked at me before I started doing that" he was angry at her indifference
"That's not true" she never even realized that he felt like that about her
"Yes it is, I know..."
"I'm sorry about that"
"It's fine, you didn't do anything wrong" now that they were together it didn't hurt him anymore "I should've done something, I should have told you I liked you long ago"
"Do you really like me?"
"More than anything"
"And... what do you like about me?" She asked him
"I dunno, I never thought about it, I just do" he shrugged
"I'd like to hear it..." she needed it
"Okay, just... let me think" he said as he stared to the wall behind her trying to focus on her question "I like... your voice, it's nice"
"Thanks"
"I like your hair, it's soft and it smells good" he enjoyed the smell of her hair even if they were inches apart "and I like... your skin"
"My skin? Why?" no one's ever complimented her complexion before
"It's so rosy and pretty, like one of those dolls" he slightly caressed the exposed skin on her arm which gave her goosebumps
"Okay... is that all?"
"No, lemme think" he tried to think of something deeper to say "I also like how you act whenever you see some shit happening, even at times when others would have done nothing" that's something that annoyed or intrigued him depending on the situation
"I kinda regret doing it" she admitted
"Why?"
"Whenever I tried to do something it backfired, I should've minded my own business" she sadly remembered how things would always get worse whenever she tried to do something about what was going on around her, snitches get stitches that's what they say
"Dawn don't say that, you did nothing wrong"
"Yes I did, I almost blinded Mrs. Ianonne"
"Hey that was fucking hilarious, I think that was one of the most badass things I've ever seen anyone doing"
"What do you mean?" she asked him confused
"I mean if I was the one who did that I'd tell everyone 'you know that lady that goes around with an eyepatch? I DID IT'" he said with a funny serious tone
That made her laugh again
"Okay that totally sounds like something you would do" she admitted "but I still hope she'll get better"
"She'll be fine, don't worry. But if it was bad for you then I'm sorry I got you in trouble, I know you meant to hit me" he apologized for that
"Me too, back at school we got a detention because of me, I should've just let you cheat anyway" when she thought about it she didn't know why she bothered telling on him
"It was all my fault, and you know what? I'd be glad to take a hundred detentions if you they were all with you" now he was kind of trying to be romantic
"Oh shut up" that made her blush, she knew he meant it
"I mean it, I like these moments when it's just the two of us, with none of those assholes around" when he could be honest about how he felt
"Tell me about it" she remembered that day "That was one of the worst days I had in that school"
"Shit, just because of one detention?" he asked her, thinking maybe she was being too dramatic
"No, that's not it" she said with a sad look on her face as she stared at the mattress
"Then why?"
"It's nothing, forget I said it" she realized what the conversation was leading to and she rather avoid it
"No, I wanna know" he insisted
Dawn stayed silent and avoided visual contact
"Dawn, please tell me"
"Okay, after that and before science class... I went to the bathroom" she started saying
"Yeah I remember that" he followed
"And Lolita was there"
oh fuck "Did she do something to you?" he got worried
"No, it's... no big deal" she didn't want him to get nervous
"D, tell me I want to know if she did" he was really worried if something happened to her
"When I was in there she threatened me, she told me to stay away from you" her eyes were almost tearing up as she remembered that moment "and she... made me do something... I don't want to talk about it"
"It's okay, it's okay. You don't have to say it. I had no idea" he told her as he gently stroked her arm, he knew Lolita also picked on Dawn but he thought she just did it as much as their other classmates did, he didn't know she managed to traumatize her
"You couldn't have known, I was so embarrassed I haven't told anyone" it was the first time she ever talked about it, it was so humiliating she just kept it to herself and hoped she could forget it ever happened, but she couldn't, but talking to Brandon about it actually made her feel better, he knew how hurt she was and unlike her parents he wouldn't judge her or blame her for what happened, he was a good listener
"I'm so sorry, that bitch did it because of me, she knew I liked you and was probably fucking jealous we were getting a detention together"
"She already did that stuff to me before, it wasn't your fault" many of her unpleasant nicknames and rumors were started by that girl bully months earlier
"I should have done something though" he said
"Like threatening to rape her?" she asked him as a joke
"No, that disheveled whore would probably want that" he said to her, only partially joking "so, was that why you acted that way in detention?"
"What do you mean?" She asked confused
"You know, when I was hitting on you you didn't do anything, was it because Lolita scared you?" he awkwardly asked her
"Wait, is that what you were trying to do?" she never got what all those gestures where supposed to mean
"Of course, what did you think I was doing?" he asked her with a confused expression
"I don't know, I thought you were trying to gross me out" she replied
"You think I'm gross?" he furrowed his eyebrows
"No! Not you, I mean some things that you do"
"Fair enough" he shrugged "but if you knew I was hitting on you back then, would you have done something back?" he asked her, for so long he was upset at how indifferent Dawn was towards his displays of affection he thought she didn't like or care about him at all
"Maybe, but... probably not, I'm not into doing this kind you stuff"
"Yeah, I may be a sleaze" he said with a smirk "But you have class"
"I'm not so sure of that" she confessed
"Why?"
"You know the thing you were doing that time?" it was awkward for her to remember that
"You mean the 'gross stuff'?"
"No, before that"
"The mouthing?"
"Yeah, I did the exact same thing to my little sister during dinner that night" she awkwardly admitted, her cheeks blushed more
"Really? Oh shit, I really am a bad influence to you" he smirked at that thought
"No, you taught me some stuff, sometimes I wish I was more like you"
"No you don't, I'm a total fuck-up" he admitted
"You're not, I mean yeah you have... issues, but so do I"
"Still I don't want to keep being this way, I don't even know why I do things I do, or say the things I say"
"You know, there was a time I thought you cursed a lot just to be rude, but then I realized you just do it cause you're used to it"
Brandon couldn't fight it, he knew she was right "You know I'm a trash-mouth"
"I like your trash-mouth" she stared at his lips
"Great, cause I want to kiss every inch of your cutie face" Brandon started peppering kisses all over her face and it made her smile "fuck, I wanted to do this for so long!"
"You did?" she raised her eyebrows and grinned
"Yeah, no matter what you were doing I just stared at ya and thought about it" he really did
"We should have done it between classes" it would have made lunchtime more enjoyable
"When would we? You were always busy doing something"
"I didn't do anything at that school" she shrugged
"You spent a lot of time in the school's library, I saw you there a couple of times"
"I just went there because it was quiet, I didn't even read much"
"Then how come my grades got better thanks to you?"
"I got a D- that day" she remembered with discretion
"You think that was the only time I copied your answers? I've done that a couple of times already"
"What?! You jerk!" She got nervous and slapped him in the arm
"Guy's gotta do what guy's gotta do" he smirked at her reaction, he actually liked that
"Ever tried studying?"
"No, it's boring" Brandon was the sort of kid that would pass a test by very little and he was glad with that "I'd do it with you though, you have smartness falling out of your ass"
"I'm not that smart" it made her feel flattered
"Yes you are, you're always using big words and saying smart shit"
"I thought you didn't like it when I did that"
"I don't get it, but I could hear you talking for hours"
"I like to hear you too" she realized this was the longest conversation the two of them ever had
"So, I wanted to know... what about that other guy?"
"Who?" she asked him, legitimately confused
"The one you fucking dumped me for" he rolled his eyes
Steve... it hit her like a snowball, they'd have to talk about it eventually...
"I know I told you we can leave that shit behind but... I dunno I just want to know what happened"
"I should never have done that, he was a total jerk, it just took me a while to see that"
"You said you were in love with him..." if Dawn had broken up with him because she just didn't like him back or because he was mean to her he would get it, Brandon knew he fucked up, but she left him because she liked someone else better than him, that hurt...
"But I don't! Maybe I thought I did but I didn't" Dawn realized then that the Steve she thought she loved was never real, he was just a narcissistic pretty face with no personality and she just fulfilled that with whatever she wanted to see, but with Brandon was different, she actually knew him and he knew her (kinda)
"Still, you knew I liked you and you chose him over me" he was starting to look sad and she knew why, Dawn didn't know how painful it felt to be heart-broken until she felt that herself, and the way he avoided her at school... she hated herself for making him feel that way
"I'm sorry, I was stupid. I chose you now Brandon, I'll always choose you" for these past few hours she met this side of Brandon that she knew she was falling for, and she couldn't think of losing him again "but think about it, now that we ran away I'm never even going to see him again"
It did make him feel better "I guess it's true"
"We good?" She asked him, just to be sure
"Yeah, all good" he meant it
"Brandon, I want to ask you something and I really want you to be honest with me"
"Of course, you can say it"
"Were... were you really going to rape me...?
Oh, fuck "I... I'm not sure, I'm sorry, I guess at the start I just wanted to scare you but then the more I thought about it the more I wanted to be with you and... I think wanted to know how far I could go" he never thought so deep about it
"But why?" Dawn couldn't fathom what could make someone want to do something like that
"Look, I know it's bad but... I wanted to be close to you and I like the idea of doing whatever I want with you" he wasn't proud of that but he really thought so
"But you never really did it, why?" she knew he had many opportunities to do it to her if he really wanted to
"That day when I grabbed you, well after I called you and all, I knew you'd go there and you'd let me do it with you if I wanted to... and I kept thinking about it... then I thought about how scared you were and that you probably hated me" he explained to her
"I don't hate you" she told him compassionately
"But if had done that you would have hated me forever, I know that" he added
"Okay, maybe" she remembered how terrified she was that day
"And then... I dunno, I decided to try something different" he shrugged
"So you took me away so you could kiss me?" She said with a smirk, her cheeks were blushing again
"Yeah, basically" he smirked back "Did you like that?"
"I did, I couldn't stop thinking about it" she remembered how she kept wondering what the hell had happened? The way she felt about him changed completely so fast and she couldn't wait to be with him again
"Me neither, I kept smiling like a fucking moron all night" after walking her home that day Brandon went back to his old house, his father couldn't care less about where he was and Tommy dozed off on the couch so he headed straight to his room, lied down and spent the whole night staring at the ceiling as he kept thinking about Dawn and remembering how good it felt to kiss her, how soft her lips were against his own, how alive it made him feel and how hard he got, he kissed the girl he was obsessed with for months and nothing could take that away from him
"You probably already guessed it, but... it was my first kiss" she admitted awkwardly
"Hey, mine too" he replied
"Really?" She said a little surprised
"Yeah, I swear" he assured her
"I really felt like you knew what you were doing" she shrugged
"But I didn't, I guess I'm just good at improvising, it's kinda my thing" he confessed
"What you did a few minutes ago, was that also just and improvise?" she asked him curiously
"Don't worry about it, it won't happen again"
"Why? It was nice, I was enjoying it until, well..."
"Until you thought I was going to rape you" he finished her sentence
"I didn't..."
"It's fine, I get it, it's my fault" he knew he screwed up
"You didn't do anything wrong"
"Yes I did, and you're still scared of me" he affirmed it
"No! Well... not anymore, but it doesn't matter, I chose to be here with you and I trust you"
"Dawn... do you want me?" he asked her
"I want to be with you"
"I know, but do you want me..." he placed his hand on the small of her back and pulled her closer "the way I want you?"
She realized what he meant
"Yes, I do" she confessed, Brandon was the only guy that made her feel butterflies in her stomach "but... this is new for me"
"I feel it all the time" he cupped her face "you drive me crazy" he whispered in the shell of her ear
"Do you want to fuck me?"
"Yes... in a good way" he clarified "would you...like me to do it?"
"I think I do"
"Don't worry, I can wait. And I'll wear protection, I want our first time to be perfect. I guess I owe that to you" he still felt bad for what (almost) happened back then, their "first time" would have been horrible and it would have been all his fault...
"I'm sure when I want to do it I'll do it with you" Dawn assured him, and she meant it
"Will you tell me when you're ready?" He said calmly looking to her eyes
"Of course" she meant it, she knew she wouldn't take long for that
They kept staring at each other for a minute until Brandon broke the silence again "So, I guess it's your turn"
"What do you mean?"
"What do you like about me? I just said it now you gotta say it too"
"Fine" Dawn smirked "I like... talking to you, a lot"
"I do too"
"I like how you just say and do whatever you please" that's something she really admired "without a care about what anyone else thinks"
"I do care about what you think though" he always did
"I like... how you hug me and you kiss me, specially when you do it suddenly"
"Like this?" he gave her a quick peck on the lips
"Yeah, like that" she grinned
"Ok, go on" he asked her
"When I think about it, I think you're the only person who's never ignored me, even when I wanted you to" whenever Brandon saw her he always made sure
"And is that a good thing?" he wasn't sure
"Yes it is" it was now "I like how tough you are, I wish I was as tough as you" she confessed
"I'm not so tough as I look" he replied
"Yes you are, all the way here I was all jumpy and you were so fearless"
"What? Dawn, I'm scared to hell since we left my room, I mean... my old room" he admitted
"You don't look scared, not one bit" she couldn't even imagine Brandon being scared
"Well one of us needs to keep it together for the other one" he explained
"If so, thanks" she knew Brandon acted a different way at school as a defense mechanism but the fact that he just did it for her so she would feel safe was nice, it made her feel special
"I think what I like the most about you is that... when we're together you show me this sweet side of yours that you" she knew Brandon wouldn't be like that all the time, if they were actually going to live together they would jump down each other's throats again, both of them had a temper and it was okay
"I'll try to do it more often then" it was nice to know for a fact she liked him back
"Thank you" Dawn said
"You're the sweetest girl I ever met" he really meant it
"No I'm not, I hurt you, I hurt Ralphie, I hurt my sister" she was almost crying at the thought of it "I don't do anything right"
"Hey, don't say that, it's not true" he knew well how it was like to get actually hurt by someone who meant to hurt him, and he knew she wasn't like that "Dawn, you are a good person, that's one of the things I like the most about you"
"No, I was a real bitch to people just because I was having a bad day" she admitted
"After everything you went through I guess I can't blame you" he knew really well how it's like to go berserk and hurt people you didn't mean to "don't be so hard on yourself for that"
"Still, Ralphy was my only friend and I treated him like shit, he didn't deserve that, I'm the worst friend ever" she kept thinking about how the poor little boy must have felt when he heard the awful things she said about him
"No, you're not, look if that bothers you so much you could call him, you know, maybe apologize. Just so you won't keep thinking about it" he advised her
"I thought you didn't like him" she said a little confused
"I don't, but if that little shit means so much to you I guess I do care" he was always a little bit jealous to see how often Dawn would hang out with Ralphy while he had to pretend he despised her "I guess we're both fuck-ups but I see how much you want to be a better person, and you make me want to be a better person"
"Why didn't you ever say this to me before?" she didn't know Brandon could be so thoughtful
"Because... I don't like saying cheesy shit" it was his first relationship after all "I don't know why I get so angry, I like you so much and treat you like shit, you didn't deserve that"
"No, when we were going out you were really sweet listening to me complaining about my problems" those moments were precious to her, when she could see Brandon's true colors without anyone around
"I never had someone to talk to about that kinda shit before" he was never the sort of guy that talked about feelings but it felt so natural with Dawn that he barely realized he had never talked to anyone as much as he did right now, and it felt fucking great
"We don't know each other that well yet, but I really want to get to know you" she said it, actually after thinking about it she realized maybe it was a good thing that they were so mean to each other at first, because after that they could actually be themselves with each other, there was no need to hide their flaws like so many other couples did at the start, Brandon and Dawn were beyond that.
"I should say... I know I told you I can wait to, you know, but I'll probably get carried away again, I just... I hope you won't be mad at me" he had been trying to ignore his hard-on since the fire-escape but it was getting harder with how close the two of them were right now, he wanted to touch her so bad...
"It's okay, it's not like I don't like it too I'm just caught by surprise" she explained to him
"Still there are some things I'd like to do with you now that we're together" he told her
"Like what?" she asked him
"Like, giving you a hickey... making out in public... shower with you" he had fantasized about it all "but again, no hurry"
Dawn nodded and smiled at him, and Brandon took that cue to kiss her again, their own messy way
They didn't know what time it was (they'd have to buy a clock) but it was most likely past midnight and Dawn was getting sleepy by now
"Uh, can I ask you something?" She said I awkwardly
"Anything" he meant it
"Could you cuddle me?" She really needed a hug
"Sure" he said without thinking twice, that's the closure he wanted so much
That said Brandon carefully wrapped his arms around Dawn and pulled her closer to him, closing the distance between them entirely, fitting her head into the space between his neck and his shoulder, his cheek was resting on her forehead.
She could listen to his heartbeat. It was racing.
"This feels nice" she said against his shirt. It didn't matter for Dawn anymore if they were lying on an old mattress, in a dirty apartment in an urban neighborhood she barely knew or if she didn't know what was going to happen to them, because she felt wanted, she was in the arms of the one person who got her and appreciated her, and she wouldn't trade that for anything else
"It does..." Brandon absorbed in her hair strawberry scent
"Can we do this every night?" Dawn was almost falling asleep already, his chest felt so warm...
"I'd like that" he agreed
They kept just hugging each other for a while until one of them broke the silence
"Dawn, are you mine?" He softly asked her
"Yes, I'm all yours" she replied "are you mine?"
"Always" Brandon told her "I'll take care of you, my dolly" he whispered to her ear as he held her tighter
Within a minute both fell asleep in each other's arms, aware that no matter how scary the real world could be they would face it together and they would be okay