Chapter 23

27 July 2003

"How did it happen?" Hermione asked quietly. She and Padma were sitting on the couch and Padma had an arm around her. Hermione's head rested on her shoulder.

"How much do you know?" Padma asked. "About what happened after the Final Battle?"

"I know that Harry left Britain to get away from everything. He traveled for over a year. My other self went back to Hogwarts for her final year. Sirius and the other Hermione have been together for three years but for whatever reason, she still keeps her own bedroom even though she spends every night in his. It's an ongoing disagreement between them. That's about it."

Padma nodded. "Harry came back from that trip for Christmas in 1999. By that time, all the Death Eaters that had been caught had been tried and sent to Azkaban. There were some that had fled after the Final Battle. Lucius Malfoy exchanged information for a lighter sentence and his knowledge led to many of those fugitives being caught."

Hermione nodded. The same thing had happened in her world. Lucius Malfoy had been put on house arrest for two years and probation for five more in exchange for the information he provided.

"There were still two missing, though. Antonin Dolohov and Thaddeus Nott."

Hermione sucked in a breath at the mention of Theo's father. She had no idea if he'd invented the long-range Time-turner in other universes, but if he had, she could only imagine what he intended to do with it.

"The DMLE assumed that Dolohov had gone back to Russia where he still had family. They were working with the Russian Ministry to try and find him. No one had any clue where Nott was. Theo Nott gave the Aurors names of relatives, associates, acquaintances of his father's, lists of properties he owned, any and all the information he had. But they couldn't find him.

When Harry returned from abroad, he had changed his mind about being an Auror. He was actually thinking of talking to Headmistress McGonagall about teaching, probably Defense Against the Dark Arts. But when he found out that Dolohov was one of the Death Eaters still missing, he changed his mind."

"Because of me, the other me. He changed his mind because of what Dolohov did to her," Hermione said.

"Yes," Padma replied. "I think he was a little bit in love with the other Hermione. I think maybe she loved him too. But neither of them ever admitted it, as far as I'm aware. They were always just best friends."

Hermione nodded, something in her chest tightening. She was pretty sure that Padma was right.

"Anyway, he joined the Aurors with the understanding that he wanted to be put on the team searching for Dolohov. Given his natural talent at Defense and his performance during the war, Harry's training only took six months. By the end of June of 2000, he was sent out on assignment. By the end of July, he finally had a lead on Dolohov. Surprisingly, he was still in the UK."

Padma paused and took a breath.

"It was a trap, wasn't it?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, laid by Nott, as it turned out. The team was ambushed as soon as they got there. They lost one Auror immediately, Williamson. Dawlish was seriously injured but recovered eventually. The rest of them managed to get under cover and regroup. Nott was alone but there were all manner of traps and wards, one of which took out Williamson and injured Dawlish initially.

The remaining four sent a Patronus for back-up but were afraid Nott would escape if they waited for the rest to arrive. So, they went in. Harry was with Terry Boot, and they found Nott first. They dueled and according to Boot, Harry shoved him out of the way of the Killing Curse. The few seconds that Harry's concentration shifted from Nott to Boot gave Nott enough time to curse Harry. The other two arrived a few seconds later and they were finally able to take Nott down, but it was too late by then. The curse had already taken hold and no one knew the counter. According to Lucius Malfoy, it was a curse that Nott had invented himself."

"What curse?" Hermione whispered, not really wanting to know but needing to all the same.

Padma took a shuddering breath. "It liquified his organs, saving his heart for last."

"Oh gods," Hermione said, burying her face in her hands and beginning to cry again. She didn't even want to think about the amount of pain Harry must have been in.

"All they could do for him was stun him, so he didn't have to feel it happening. It only took a couple of minutes and he was gone. It happened," Padma's breath hitched, "it happened on his birthday."

Hermione moaned and shook her head in denial.

Padma took a deep breath. "Sirius blamed himself for not being on the team with Harry. He had gone back to the Aurors shortly after the war was over - he'd been an Auror during the first war as well. But he was on the team that was looking for Nott. Afterward, they suspected that Nott had found out about Harry wanting to find Dolohov and lured him in with the fake information. Nott hated Harry because he'd killed Voldemort, of course.

Boot blamed himself as well. He quit the Aurors shortly after, went into research on Dark Curses. He invented a counter for the spell Nott used on Harry two years later.

Hermione, the other Hermione, that is, blamed herself because she knew Harry wanted to find Dolohov because of what he'd done to her. After the funeral, both she and Sirius took a leave of absence from their jobs and locked themselves away in Grimmauld Place. We tried to visit, Andromeda and I, Molly Weasley, Luna, Neville, even Ron. But they never let any of us in. The only reason we knew they were all right is because they sent an owl to Andromeda once a week.

It took almost a month and when they both finally went back to work, they were together. Or at least Sirius said they were together. The other Hermione kept insisting that they were just comforting each other, that Sirius would find someone else eventually, that he didn't really want anything long-term with her."

Hermione was quite sure that what Padma had suggested earlier was true. This Hermione felt guilty about Harry's death. But she also knew it was more than that. If this Hermione had had feelings for Harry, it would make her guilt that much worse. She probably felt like she was betraying Harry by being with Sirius. It didn't make sense, she knew, especially as her other self and Harry had never been together. She hadn't even confessed her feelings to him. But Hermione could understand why her other self would feel the way she did.

Still, it had been three years. It was obvious to Hermione that Sirius loved the other her. And not only was Harry not coming back, but Hermione also knew that he would want her to be happy. If that were with Sirius, she suspected that Harry would be quite glad about it. He'd loved them both, after all. Hermione knew that when she jumped again, she was going to put all of this in her letter to her other self.

"I still can't believe it," Hermione said quietly. "And I don't know how the other Hermione has managed. I don't, I'm not sure if I could."

"She's one of the strongest people I know. She wouldn't say that about herself, I know, but she is."

Hermione felt a wave of affection from her other self. She'd been relatively quiet throughout this discussion. Hermione couldn't blame her. She wouldn't want to relive this either. She was sure that her other self did in her nightmares anyway. Hermione shuddered without meaning to. That confirmed that then.

They sat in silence for a while longer, Hermione still trying to process everything she'd been told. She knew now why Sirius thought they'd be drinking a lot this week. The anniversary of Harry's death was coming up in a few days. The entry in her planner wasn't lunch for Harry's birthday. They were probably going to visit his grave or something.

"Where is he buried?" she asked.

"In Godric's Hollow, next to his parents."

Hermione nodded, glad the three of them were together again.

They stopped talking again, Hermione lost in her thoughts. She could feel her other self's grief mingling with her own. Hermione knew that if she let it, it would swamp her. She had to trust that this Padma could come up with something new and Hermione would get home. Padma seemed determined enough, at any rate.

"Let me make tea," Padma said. "And then we can talk about what we're going to do."

Hermione sat up and Padma rose from the couch. She went into the kitchen and returned a few minutes later with a tea tray. Padma made them both cups and set out a plate of biscuits. Hermione, not at all hungry, ignored the biscuits and took a sip of her tea.

"Do you have any idea what the other Hermione is working on right now?" Hermione asked. "And also, will I be able to get into the DOM? In my world, there are security measures in place. If they're the same here, I can still probably get in, as I have the other Hermione's wand. But I found out in the last universe that my magical signature is different, even though I'm in this Hermione's body. Depending on what they do here, I might have a problem."

Padma looked at her strangely, then shook her head. "Right, you wouldn't know."

"Wouldn't know what?"

"You don't have to worry about getting into the Department or what the other Hermione is working on. She and Sirius have this week off."

"Why? Oh shite, are they taking a trip or something?" If they were, Hermione didn't know if she could keep up the ruse. Plus, she wanted to be here to help Padma with the Universe Hopper.

"No, they're not going anywhere. They're just staying at home together. They did the same thing last year."

"That…doesn't sound healthy." There was a bristling from her other self, but Hermione ignored it.

"It's not," Padma said bluntly. Hermione felt another wave of annoyance from her other self. "On Harry's birthday, they'll go to Godric's Hollow and spend time in the cemetery, otherwise, they basically hide away at Grimmauld Place.

The first year we all understood and even last year we tried not to make too big a deal out of it. But this year, both Andromeda and I tried to talk both of them out of it. We even suggested a trip, but we were basically told to bugger off and mind our own business."

The other Hermione was irritated now, and Hermione could even feel herself getting a bit annoyed with Padma. She frowned. She hadn't been drinking today, why was she feeling her other self so strongly? Strong enough that it was affecting her own emotions.

"Is something wrong?" Padma asked.

Hermione realized she likely looked angry. "No. Well not with me anyway."

"She's angry?"

Hermione nodded.

Padma sighed. "I'm not surprised. But I'm not going to apologize. I don't think it's wise for them to lock themselves away and wallow for a week."

"If Parvati had died, you'd probably wallow too," Hermione snapped. She clapped a hand over her mouth, looking horrified. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I don't know, I didn't, I-"

"It's okay," Padma interrupted. "I'm sorry too. That was rude of me but I'm just so worried about them. Andromeda is too. We just want to help, be there for them." She paused. "Can I, I mean, can she hear me?"

"I don't, it's never been this strong before. I think so, yes." Hermione couldn't help the waver in her voice. She was really getting concerned. This hadn't happened in any of the other universes. Not so forcefully anyway. Maybe it was the heightened emotion? That must be it. But she hadn't known about Harry last night. That had to have been the wine though. Was it lowered inhibitions and heightened emotions? Anytime she wasn't totally in control? But that didn't make sense given what had happened in the last universe. She definitely hadn't been in control when she was in St. Mungo's but beyond the terror she felt from her other self, she didn't make an appearance. Not like she had here.

Hermione's thoughts were interrupted when Padma spoke again. "Hermione, I'm sorry. I love you and I just, I worry about you. I want to be there for you, help you however I can. Please don't shut me out."

Hermione was a jumble of feelings that she tried to tease apart. She could feel fear, uncertainty, sadness, affection, worry and a bit of shame. She thought the fear and uncertainty were her own, and maybe the worry. The sadness, affection, and shame were definitely coming from her other self, but the worry was a little bit too. Her other self had retreated a bit, she was harder to feel that she had been a few seconds ago.

"She knows," Hermione finally said. "I think she's sorry too. But I'm not getting anything else. Nothing concrete anyway."

"Is it always like that?"

Hermione bit her lip and shook her head. "It's been much stronger here. I'm a little concerned about it to be honest."

Padma frowned. "Do you think she's fighting it?"

"Not fighting it exactly," Hermione said trying to figure out how to explain it. "It's like she's more present than any of the others have been. But the other me has also been getting…stronger, I guess you could say, with every universe. I don't know if it's just that I'm getting more used to the possession or whatever it is, or if something else is going on. I mean, my other self always starts to get more agitated after a few days, usually about five or six. That's when I always know it's time to jump. I've been in each universe about a week.

This is different though. Last night there was a period of time when I felt like I was in the background and my other self was directing things, instead of the other way around. I chalked it up to all the wine I drank but what if that wasn't it? I haven't had any alcohol today and it just happened again. Not in the same way but I had no intention of saying what I did about Parvati. I hadn't even thought it."

Hermione twisted her hands in her lap. She didn't like this at all. All the more reason to just leave. She eyed the Universe Hopper where it sat on the table. She could easily jump but Padma was right. Hermione could end up somewhere worse and even if she didn't, she wasn't going to make it home. She was positive about that. She needed more time. Or Padma did, rather. Hermione didn't think there was anything else she could personally do or discover about the device. She needed fresh eyes and Padma was it. Just as she'd been in every other universe.

'I don't want to be here anymore than you want me here. Please, be patient,' Hermione silently begged her other self. 'I'm doing the best I can.'

There was a wave of what seemed to be acceptance. Hermione released the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She hoped that her other self meant it. She needed to have her wits about her if she was going to make it through the next few days.

When Hermione returned to Grimmauld Place, she was alone. Sirius must still be at Andromeda's. Hermione still couldn't believe everything she'd learned about Harry. At least Nott was in Azkaban, Dolohov as well. Six months after Harry's death, the Russian Ministry had finally found him and sent him back to England for trial.

Hermione had reluctantly left the Universe Hopper with Padma. She knew it was the right decision; she would be tempted to use it otherwise. Plus, if Sirius and this Hermione were planning to hide in Grimmauld all week, Hermione wouldn't need to keep finding excuses to visit Padma. This way, Padma could just contact Hermione when she had found something.

She slowly climbed the stairs towards the other Hermione's bedroom. Hermione settled on the bed and picked up the photograph of Harry and the other Hermione that sat on the bedside table. She stared at Harry's smiling face and couldn't believe he was gone.

Silent tears began making their way down her cheeks unnoticed until one of them splashed onto the glass of the frame. Hermione wiped at her face, but the tears continued unchecked. Finally, she lay down on the bed, clutching the photograph to her chest and sobbed.

"Hermione?" Sirius' voice called out.

Hermione startled; she must have cried herself to sleep. The room was darker than when she'd entered it, but the sun wasn't completely down yet. Her cheeks felt tight from her dried tears and the corner of the frame was poking her collarbone.

She shifted as she heard the creak of the stairs. Sirius was looking for her, but she couldn't muster up the energy to call out for him. She felt numb. How had her other self done this?

"There you are," Sirius said as he stepped into the room. "I'm sorry I'm so late. Teddy wanted me to take him for a fly and you know I can't say no to that."

She gave him a weak smile and his brow furrowed. His eyes shifted to the picture frame in her arms. "What's that?"

She managed to hold it out to him and his face crumpled. Hermione's tears returned. Sirius set the photograph carefully on the bedside table, then toed off his boots and crawled into bed with her. He pulled her into his side and wrapped his arms around her.

"I know, love. I know."

Hermione could feel wetness in her hair and knew that he was crying too. They clung to one another, both crying quietly for the man they had both loved.

28 July 2003

When Hermione woke, she was still in her other self's bedroom. However, she was now under the blankets and wearing only her knickers and a t-shirt. She didn't remember undressing for bed or falling asleep for that matter. The last thing she remembered was Sirius coming home and crying with her.

A quick glance around the room showed that she was alone. She was about to get up when she heard the creaking of the stairs and smelled breakfast. Her stomach grumbled loudly, and she realized she hadn't had anything to eat since her lunch with Padma yesterday.

Sirius stepped into the room, two trays floating in front of him. He smiled when he saw her sitting up in the bed. "Breakfast."

He settled one of the trays on her lap, putting the other on the table next to the bed, while he crawled back in beside her. He was in his pants and a t-shirt when she distinctly remembered him being fully clothed when he laid down with her last night. Had she lost time like Ginny used to do when she was possessed by the diary? Had her other self taken over completely last night?

"Something wrong?" Sirius asked with a frown.

"No, no, nothing," she said. "Just, I don't remember getting undressed or falling asleep last night."

He smiled sadly, brushing a curl off her face. "I'm not surprised. You cried yourself to sleep and even when I tried to wake you to change your clothes and go up to our room, you wouldn't. So, I did it for you and we just slept here."

Hermione didn't miss that he said our room instead of his room but didn't comment on it. "Oh, that explains it then." She took a bite of her toast.

"How was your visit with Padma?" he asked.

"It was fine," Hermione said. She hadn't had time to think of something to tell him about what she and Padma talked about. Obviously, she couldn't tell him the truth.

He raised a brow. "She bother you again about taking the week off?" He took a bite of his eggs.

"A little," Hermione said with a shrug. "I told her I didn't want to talk about it though. How was Andromeda?"

"Same," Sirius said. He paused to take a bite of toast and chew it. "Thankfully, Teddy didn't really leave us alone so she couldn't berate me too much."

Hermione looked down at her plate. "Do you think…do you think they're right?" There was a surge of indignation from her other self, but Hermione ignored it.

Sirius' brow furrowed. "Where's this coming from?" he asked. "I thought you didn't want to have to see anyone this week."

"I don't, it's just, Padma was so worried, and I wonder if," she paused and sighed. "I don't know."

She felt Sirius fingers under her chin, tipping her head up so she would look at him. "How we choose to grieve and remember," he took a breath, his voice a bit shaky, "remember Harry is our business. If we want to lock ourselves up in here and get pissed for a week, we can. Everyone who thinks it's odd or unhealthy can bugger off."

Hermione nodded. She really hoped that Sirius meant the getting pissed part figuratively and not literally. She had no intention of drinking herself into oblivion every day, but she didn't want him to suspect anything if she didn't.

"That said, what do you want to do today?"

She had no idea what kinds of things they usually did. Did they really just sit and drink all day? Or were there other little rituals or traditions they had? "Not sure. What were you thinking?"

"Well, there are those boxes up in the attic. We talked about going through them last year, but we never did. Maybe this year," he paused and glanced at her, eyes glistening, "maybe this year we can."

She assumed the boxes he was referring to were Harry's or had something to do with him. She had managed to explore the entire house in the last couple of days and hadn't found Harry's old room or even anything to indicate he had lived here. He had though. She knew from Padma that Harry had come to live with Sirius after Sirius' trial. And Hermione knew he'd lived here right after the war before he left on his trip. She guessed he had after he'd returned as well.

Hermione wondered what they had done with Harry's things. Had they just boxed everything up and hid it away until they could deal with it? Had someone else done it for them? It seemed likely that they had done it if they'd isolated themselves at Grimmauld for a month after Harry's death. It would be easy enough to do with magic.

"All right," she agreed, lump in her throat.

Sirius leaned over and kissed her, and she lost herself in the kiss for a moment. Then he pulled back and tapped her tray. "Finish your breakfast, love. We're going to need our strength."

Hermione nodded and returned to her plate, dread and curiosity battling within her.

"I'd forgotten I gave him this," Sirius said, as he pulled out a baby book from one of the boxes.

Hermione was surprised to see it was a Muggle baby book, one where the parents recorded information about the birth, developmental milestones, height and weight at different ages, and pasted photographs of first birthdays and Christmases and the like. Although, given that Lily Potter was a Muggleborn it made sense, she supposed. Hermione was even more surprised that it had survived the destruction at Godric's Hollow.

"James and I didn't know what to make of it when Lily brought it home while she was pregnant. Magical families don't have things like this," Sirius said.

"I had one too," Hermione said, taking the book from him. "Mine covered my first five years." She knew that there wouldn't be much beyond Harry's first birthday in this one, the reason why causing her stomach to twist.

She opened it to see a photograph of a newborn Harry pasted onto the first page. His eyes were open, and he flailed a small fist. Hermione smiled and ran a finger down his cheek. His hair, what little of it there was, was just as messy as it had been later in life.

"He was a happy baby," Sirius said looking at the photo over her shoulder. "Rarely cried but when he did, you definitely knew it."

"What were they like? As parents I mean?"

"Lily took to it immediately, always seemed to know exactly what to do. James, on the other hand, was completely clueless." Sirius laughed. "He learned quickly though. We all did. Gods, we were so young."

Hermione flipped through the pages. Lily had dutifully filled in all the information about Harry's birth and milestones. He'd slept through the night at three months, sat up on his own at six, crawled at eight and walked at eleven and a half. She had pasted in a new photo of him every month for the first year and detailed everything new he had done or accomplished that month. There were photographs of Harry's first Christmas with all the Marauders, save Peter, present.

"Both James and Lily's parents had died by then," Sirius said pointing to the picture. "James' died from dragon pox shortly after we finished Hogwarts and Lily's parents were killed in a car crash three months after Harry was born. I'd been disowned, Remus' mum was dead, and he didn't talk to his dad much. So we made our own family."

Hermione wondered why Pettigrew wasn't in the photo but decided not to question it. She was sure Sirius didn't really want to talk about the traitor, just as her Sirius and Remus never had. And, in her world anyway, Pettigrew had been close to his mother, so he had likely spent Christmas with her.

"Peter didn't come that Christmas, even though he'd always been with us before. Never for the entire day, but he always stopped by. Should have known something was going on," Sirius said bitterly.

"What was his excuse?" Hermione asked.

"His mum got sick, had to take her to St. Mungo's. It never actually happened, of course. Just another cover for his Death Eater meetings."

Hermione wondered if he knew that for a fact or if it was just speculation. It didn't matter, really, she supposed.

She continued through the album, chuckling at the photo from Harry's first birthday. He was covered with icing from his chin to his hair, grinning as he shoved another bite of cake into his mouth.

"Wish I'd been there. I was on a mission for the Order. If I'd known that it would be the only birthday," his voice cracked, and Hermione rubbed a hand up and down his arm. He cleared his throat. "If I had known it'd be the only birthday they got to spend with him I would have told Dumbledore to go hang."

Hermione leaned into Sirius, resting her head on his shoulder as they watched baby Harry shove cake into his mouth over and over again.

"I shouldn't have gone after Peter that night," Sirius whispered a few moments later. "I should have taken Harry and run. I should have raised him like James and Lily wanted. Maybe things would have been different if I had. Maybe he'd still be here."

It was a leap, for certain, to think that Harry's death could have prevented by Sirius raising him, but Hermione got the feeling that it wasn't the first time that he'd voiced it. "If you had gotten a proper trial like you should have, you wouldn't have ended up in Azkaban in the first place. It wasn't your fault, Sirius. The Ministry failed you."

Sirius shook his head, breath hitching as he looked down at the photo of Harry again. Hermione wrapped her arms around him and held him as he cried, wanting nothing more than to leave this universe behind.

They stayed in the attic for the rest of the morning, but didn't finish going through all the boxes. It became apparent to Hermione that it was likely Sirius and the other Hermione had just magically transferred everything in Harry's rooms to boxes and stored them up here to go through later. There was no organization at all. They'd each started with their own boxes but after spending more time showing each other things that they'd found than actually going through and organizing anything, they began opening each box together.

Hermione had cried when she found Harry's Quidditch jersey from Hogwarts and Sirius had cried over a letter he'd sent Harry while Sirius was on the run. They'd spent more time on each item than Hermione had expected, even benign things like Hogwarts textbooks or a pair of Harry's jeans. Hermione had hugged the first Weasley jumper Harry had gotten to her chest, unable to continue through the box for a while.

But it wasn't until they'd found his invisibility cloak that they both decided they couldn't go through anything else. It held too many memories for both of them, Sirius when he used it with James and Remus, and Hermione when she'd used it with Harry and Ron.

They went down to the drawing room, Hermione wrapped in the cloak so only her head was visible. Neither of them really felt like eating anything but Sirius summoned the bottle of Firewhiskey and poured them each a glass. Hermione wrinkled her nose at the drink, but Sirius insisted they needed to toast Harry. She agreed and took a small sip while Sirius downed his in one go. He poured himself another but, thankfully, this one he only sipped at.

He put an arm around Hermione, and she snuggled into his side, still wrapped in Harry's cloak. They sat in silence for several minutes, both lost in their own thoughts.

"I think we should do something else for the rest of the day," Sirius said eventually. "I'm not sure I'm up for more boxes."

"Me either," she agreed. "What did you have in mind?"

Sirius looked at her and waggled his eyebrows. She rolled her eyes and smacked his arm, although the other her perked up immediately. Hermione ignored her and looked back at Sirius.

He leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose. "I want to take the bike out."

Hermione immediately tensed, then berated herself for doing so. She had no idea how the other her felt about flying. But an internal shudder a second later told Hermione that her other self didn't like it any more than Hermione did.

"We'll keep it on the ground, if you like," he said.

Somehow that didn't make Hermione feel any better. A motorbike could be just as dangerous on two wheels as it could in the air.

"Let's go to some of Harry's favorite places," Sirius continued.

"I thought you wanted to stay here away from everyone."

"I don't want to see people we know and have to deal with all the well-meant sympathy. This is different. We'll stick to the Muggle places he loved. And look at it this way, we'll be making Padma and Andromeda happy by getting out of the house."

"All right," Hermione finally agreed. She was interested to see if this Harry's favorite places were the same as her Harry's. And, truth be told, she didn't really want to stay cooped up in the house until Padma came up with something about the Universe Hopper.

Sirius leaned over and kissed her, then stood from the couch, holding out a hand to pull her up. "Remember to wear your boots and put on that leather jacket I like." He grinned at her and she smiled back, hoping said jacket was in the wardrobe in her other self's room.

As they sped through the countryside, Hermione gripped Sirius' waist tighter, her eyes closed as her cheek laid against Sirius' back. She had to admit that riding the motorbike on the ground was less nerve-wracking than she thought. She was actually enjoying herself. They'd already been around London, stopping at Harry's favorite Indian restaurant which was also her Harry's favorite in her world. After they'd eaten, Sirius drove to the National Gallery.

That had been a surprise. Hermione's Harry had never mentioned art but apparently, this Harry had gained an appreciation for it during his year of travel. From what Sirius said, it sounded like Harry had liked to come here quite often. He'd liked the other London art museums as well, but this one had been his favorite.

They'd wandered through for an hour or so before Sirius had said they had better get moving if they wanted to get to the last place before dark. And now, here they were, although she had no idea where they were going.

She wasn't even exactly where 'here' was. She knew they'd gone south out of London but that was about it. She hadn't been paying much attention otherwise, her thoughts a jumble of Harry and the Universe Hopper and what Padma was figuring out about it, if anything. Her other self seemed somewhat quiet. Hermione had felt her throughout much of the day, but she hadn't made herself known very strongly.

Hermione opened her eyes and looked around as Sirius slowed. It was wooded and the road had narrowed. He slowed further as he turned onto a small dirt road, not much wider than the bike itself. A car would never have fit down it.

A few minutes later, the road, such as it was, ended and the woods had opened up to reveal a meadow. Hermione said nothing, having no idea why this place was significant. Sirius turned off the motorbike and steadied it while Hermione climbed off, then got off himself. They both pulled off their helmets and rested them on the bike's seat. Sirius took Hermione's hand and led her into the meadow.

She felt the wards when they crossed them, a slight tingle on her skin. She was surprised but didn't show it. Why on earth were there wards here? There was no structure that Hermione could see but if it were secret-kept, she wouldn't be able to. Or would she? She might not know the secret, but her other self likely did. Wouldn't that mean that Hermione should be able to see it too, if she were in her other self's body?

But maybe not. She didn't have access to her other self's memories, after all. Shite, there was no way she could explain that to Sirius. If there was a house or something here and he was still holding her hand when he walked in, what would happen to her? Would she just stop outside the boundary while Sirius kept walking through. You couldn't get someone into a secret-kept location without them knowing the secret. It kept from someone who knew the secret being forced to bring others in. Unless the secret-keeper was dead.

When she, Harry, and Ron had fled the Ministry during the war, they'd accidentally brought Yaxley with them to Grimmauld Place. It was why Hermione had immediately Disapparated, knowing that Yaxley could now see and get into the house. If Harry had been the secret-keeper for whatever was here and she kept hold of Sirius, he could take her through. She had no way of knowing just who the secret-keeper was though.

Hermione's anxiety had spiked, and she could feel the panic attack just under the surface. It was then that she felt her other self send a wave of calm towards her. Hermione pulled in a breath, letting it out slowly through her nose. Sirius squeezed her hand, obviously misinterpreting the reason for her actions. If the other Hermione wasn't worried, then Hermione probably shouldn't be either.

"I know you didn't come here very often, but I think it was Harry's favorite place. He always seemed at peace here. Of course, I'm sure that had a lot to do with the flying." Sirius chuckled and she smiled. "But he liked to just come and sit here sometimes too. We spent an entire day here once." He smiled wistfully as he looked up at the sky.

Hermione realized now what the wards were for. There were similar ones on the meadow at the Burrow. The Weasleys could play as much Quidditch as they liked and no one from Ottery St. Catchpole would notice. She relaxed when she understood there was no Fidelius Charm here.

She stayed quiet. If her other self hadn't come here often, she likely didn't have much to contribute to Sirius' reminiscing anyway. Not that Hermione could have even if the other her had been here numerous times.

"Sometimes, I think this is what he needed," Sirius continued. "Just a quiet place, hidden from most other people, where no one would bother him. He probably would have built a house here if he could have. He hated his fame so much."

"I know," Hermione said. That seemed true in every universe.

They both fell silent then, Hermione leaning against Sirius' side, still holding his hand. After a few minutes, he conjured a blanket and spread it on the ground in front of them. Tugging Hermione's hand, they sat down, leaning into each other as they watched the sun begin to descend.

There was a slight breeze, and Hermione turned her head towards it, closing her eyes as the wind blew through her curls. The spasm of grief from her other self took Hermione by surprise but there were immediately tears leaking from her eyes. She turned her head into Sirius' shoulder, and he put an arm around her, kissing her temple. He tipped her head up and cupped her cheeks, rubbing the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. Then he lowered his head and kissed her.

It only took a few seconds before Hermione felt that same feeling she had the other night. She was there, but not. She knew now, without a doubt, that her other self was taking over somehow. Not completely, Hermione still knew everything that was happening, and she suspected that if she protested hard enough, she could regain control. Instead, she decided to stay as she was, to let the other Hermione have this moment with Sirius.

Knowing what was happening didn't make her feel any better about it, however. The fact that her other self had gotten progressively stronger with each jump terrified her if she were honest. Did that mean that eventually, Hermione might jump into her other self's body but have no control at all? Would she just be a prisoner forever, unable to jump again?

As she watched Sirius peel off her clothes and lower her to the blanket, any thought of leaving this universe to escape the grief was completely squashed. If she was losing the ability to control what was happening, she needed to get home. She couldn't afford to keep jumping indiscriminately. She might be lost completely if she did.