Chapter 14
"Can I stay?", he asked in a low voice, the sound reverberating against her skin, and forming goosebumps on her neck. The question made her remember their first time ever, ages ago now, on that delicious sunday in her apartment, when she - returning from the bathroom - got really surprised by his presence still on her bed, instead of being dressed up, head down, making some lame excuse to run away from there.
She swallowed looking at the ceiling while caressing his hair at the same time. "It's your house too, you know", she replied slowly.
She felt his eyelashes painting her skin, and found that absurdly good. "It's not about it.", he replied "The house is yours, actually, if you wanna play by the book".
She took a deep breath. The house was the major point of conflict with herself after the divorce. Grissom had left most of his things to her, and the words the attorney had said about it had broken her heart:
"He asked for the boat and his pension. But is willing to buy your part of said boat, and pay a pension for you too." the lawyer had read, and she rolled her eyes. "The rest is yours.", he took a deep breath before continuing, clearly impatience. "Usually, when the other party gives it all up, it means that they don't really want any type of contact. Not more than necessary, I mean".
"Gil told you that he didn't want contact?", Sara had asked.
"Oh, no, ma'am. He did not. He said almost nothing. It's just from experience"
She signed the damn papers. If he didn't want to be with her, not even to split their possessions in half, it wouldn't be her to obligate him to.
Even though she was legally the new owner of investments, joint bank accounts, the car and the house itself, Sara never really spent a penny. The money was there the way they had left it. She sold his car and made a deposit for him. She had boxed his things after a while and stored them up nicely, and ordered them in his old office, closing the door behind her. Some photos of him with his mother or of him and his dad, along with other childhood mementos, she put on a smaller box and gave to his mother during one of their dinners together.
At first, Betty didn't understand why Sara was giving those things to her, and Sara looked at her like she was joking. It was after a few minutes that Sara realized that Gil hadn't told his own mother they had divorced. Or better, that he had asked for the divorce, and left it to her to break the news. If Sara wasn't so sad and so mad at the same time, she'd have laughed about the scene where both women were participating, thanks to Gil's lack of communication skills.
But the house… She had thought about selling it and making another deposit for him. She had thought about giving it to his mother. She had thought about remodeling to the point she wouldn't even recognize it after.
One possibility after another was turned down: by her mother-in-law and by herself. That house told the story of a time when she was happy and fulfilled. She loved that house and the story it carried, and she didn't want to change any of it. So she stayed. And now, with his head on her shoulder, she didn't regret the decision at all.
"You can stay, of course", she replied.
xxxxxxxxxxx
EARLIER THAT DAY:
Sara knew that after making that statement about his words saving her (and people around), she should have asked the waiter for her bill and gone home. Instead, she ordered another beer. Grissom did the same, as the rest of the group. She wasn't drunk, she could drink cops under the table any day of the week. But people around her weren't so good at holding their liquor. The laughs were getting louder, the topics of conversation more embarrassing and, when a cop passed by them and flirted with her by asking "Hey, Sidle, when are we going on a date, huh?", Grissom got even more flushed.
One by one, people started to get up and leave. By this time, even though Sara had no intention of getting herself behind wheels after so many bottles of beer, she was drinking her second bottle of water. When she asked for the bill, Grissom immediately covered her hand and said he'd pay for it. She didn't want that, but after so many years together, she knew that, by not accepting, Gil would be offended. She didn't want that. More than that, she certainly didn't want to react to his head getting crooked and his sweet smile asking "please?". She'd probably kiss him right there.
But none of this, though, justified her offering him a lift, "we can share a cab". She knew she'd be signing up for a risk business and, even so, she signed every damn page, front and back. They said their good-byes to the remaining group, and got into the cab and into a funny conversation. She didn't know how they got there exactly, but at some point she told Grissom that Mark from work had made a move on her after their divorce.
"Mark?! From Ballistics Mark?"
"The one", she answered.
He seemed to be disappointed.
"What?", she asked.
"I thought he liked me"
"He did, he'd say wonderful things about you.", Sara said honestly. "But he liked me better", she laughed. And so did he.
"Yeah, who wouldn't, right?"
She fought the urge to reply "well, you", because he would leave soon and she didn't want them to part ways feeling weird towards each other.
It was weird how the dynamics were working out. He flirted here and there, and she was pretty sure that sometimes his eyes were glued on her back, looking intensely - but without any words.
And Sara desperately wanted some words. For him to talk, to express himself, to ask, to answer. She didn't want to be the one to do it, because… Well… she was damn tired. And, frankly, was it too much to ask?
She cleared her throat.
"Don't tell me no one made a move on you after our divorce. I find it hard to believe. Which of those professors suddenly texted asking if you'd like some coffee?"
"What? No one", he said.
"C'mon, Grissom, you can tell me, you know I don't have a problem with it"
It made him laugh. "I swear, no one at all hit on me. No one we know, no one in the streets, absolutely no one."
"Ok, then", she made her response sound like she wasn't at all convinced, but the truth is that she believed him. Grissom had the ease to just shut off to the world. Maybe someone had hit on him, and he was just out of space to even notice.
"And even if someone had, it wouldn't make any sense correspond"
"Why is that?", she asked.
He looked at her for a few seconds before almost whispering: "Sara…"
"What?"she asked, genuinely curious.
Instead of replying, he looked out of the window, watching the streets passing by. After a while, Sara did the same, but at her window. She was close to home already, and felt disappointed by his lack of effort to tell her things, as silly as they could be. Some things never change, after all.
"Why didn't you go on a date with Mark or that cop from earlier?", his voice broke out.
"Do you want me to?"
"Sara…", he whispered. "I don't. But still… I'm curious about why"
"Because…", she took a deep breath, "well, I have no interest in any of them, never had and probably never will. And… Mark asked me out a few months after our break up and I was still… traumatized from, you know, from what had happened to me".
Grissom nodded.
"I'm sorry", he said and she nodded in response.
Almost immediately the cab driver stopped the car and announced that they'd got to the first address. Well, end of the line, Sidle, outside of the window is your house. Both of you had the chance to share more, and God knows you tried, but your ex-husband can be a pain in the ass when he wants. Anyway, it was a good run. She started to say goodbye while grabbing some money, when she felt his hand on her hand, and she thought he'd say he would pay, but what came out from his mouth was totally different.
"Do you mind if I come in?"
She wouldn't deny it, never, and she truly didn't want to. So she smiled and didn't deny. And after he paid for the drive, they both got in, Grissom letting her enter first. He took a breath, looking around while she removed her jacket. And when it was on the couch, he got closer and closer, and when she felt his hand encircling her waist and stopping on the small of her back, her arms flung around his neck and he kissed her. Lightly at first. But as his grip on her body felt stronger, his kiss got deeper, their tongues meeting again.
Then he moved to her neck and her legs trembled. He returned to her mouth and his hands travelled under her shirt, feeling her smooth and hot skin under his palm. Sara started to undo the buttons of his shirt, and she felt him starting to move slowly without breaking the kiss and holding her firmly. By direction, Sara knew they were going to their bedroom, and started to pull Grissom faster to their destination. When they got there, his jacket was already on the floor and his shirt was out of his pants and totally unbuttoned.
The air around them was pure Sara at this point, and Grissom couldn't remember the last time he felt so warm, so well and so at home like this. He broke the kiss and looked at her. "You sure?", he asked. And instead of answering him, she kissed him and they fell on bed with Gil on top of her. He started to kiss her neck, her throat while removing her shirt, which she helped him with. Even with her bra on, he attacked her skin, his tongue linking and his mouth sucking whatever he could find, and when he removed her bra, he didn't waste time to suck at her nipples while his hand massaged her other breast. Sara felt herself over the moon, her hips moving forward against his, letting escape a loud moan. He moved to her sternum and then to her other breast, she felt his hand on her pants, working with the buttons and zipper, ever so slowly as if giving her time to say stop to his intentions. Which was a laugh, really.
He lowered her jeans a little and cupped her through her panties, massaging the area. The combination of his tongue circling her nipple and his hand working down on her, made her almost cry in pleasure. He got the idea and let his hand slide under her panties, meeting her wetness with his fingers. This time it was him that said "Oh God" on her skin, and she grabbed his hair. He started to make small circles on her clit, and kissed her again in the mouth, now more rushed, more urgently.
At some moment, Grissom decided he wanted something else, leaving her mouth, stopping his hand and lifting himself up to work the rest of her pants and panties out of her body. When he was done, before he could get on top of her again, Sara took the rest of his shirt off and opened the button of his jeans. "Take them off", she ordered, and he complied.
With both totally naked, Grissom resumed his place on top of her, now grabbing the hair on the back of her neck and kissing her hard. One of Sara's hand was on his back, while the other grabbed his hard cock, slowly feeling him. He, then, took Sara's hand off of his cock and kept it above her head. He kissed her cheek before saying "I want to taste you badly, honey".
When she noticed, his head was between her legs, her legs on his shoulders and his tongue making wonders to her core. It was hard to maintain herself under control with someone devouring her pussy like that, she grabbed the sheets around her, her body getting tense, his tongue hitting the exactly right places like a maestro and, as perfect as music, when he sucked hard on her clit again, she lost it completely. She came hard, she called his name over and over and her hair was really sweaty.
His mouth found hers and he pecked her one, two, three times, til she opened it and he slipped his tongue in, letting her taste herself. It was calm, slow paced, giving her time to recover. He licked her sweat off both sides of her neck, his strong hands travelling lightly by her body. When she called Gil again, he aligned himself and slowly pushed himself inside of her, filling her up.
xxxxxxxxxxx
When she realized, Grissom was already asleep, and she felt sleepish as well. Even though there was something intimate, romantic and sexy about sleeping naked after sex, like they have done a thousand times before, the day had me long and she needed to take a shower. It was hard for her to get off his tight embrace without disturbing him. She tiptoed around the bed and went to the joined bathroom, turning the light on only when the door was already closed behind her. She looked around and was thankful to find her pajamas there.
With the water on, she took the shower gel and cleaned her body, leaving the traces of the lovemaking going down the drain. Well, not all traces for sure. It didn't last more than a few minutes, but it felt wonderful. After drying herself, she got dressed - well, without panties -, brushed her teeth, turned the light off and opened the door. Gil was at the same spot she had left him, and had the bed comforter til his middle, leaving only his back and chest exposed. Still quietly, she layed down under the covers, Gil made a sound, but did not open his eyes. She moved a little closer to him and, instinctively, he too moved towards her, spooning her from behind, his arm on her waist.
Sara thought about the last days and how she ended-up here. She didn't want to think about it right now, she needed her sleep badly. Tomorrow she'd be presented as new Lab Director, her life would change, and she'd have to say goodbye to Catherine, DB and to Gil. Again. She didn't regret the sex at all, it was amazing and she'd cherish this moment for a long time - and, yes, maybe being a little sad on the way, because if she was honest with herself… Well, she was happy about the promotion, sure, and it felt right after a long career, but between the job and getting things right with Gil, she'd choose Gil in a heartbeat. She, then, felt a pressure on her abdomen.
"I've missed you, Sara", Gil whispered in her ear. By his tone, he was half asleep. "Thanks for letting me stay, sleeping with you like this… has always been one of my… favourite things". Then, the hand that was on her stomach, found her hand on the bed and he joined their fingers together. Holding hands, with his strong arm around her, they slept til the morning.
Gil had woken first. When Sara opened her eyes, she saw him with his hair wet, still barefoot, but dressed in his clothes from the day before. He had his back to her, he was seated on the edge of the bed buttoning his shirt. She looked around and saw that he had organized the room. Her clothes, once discharged on the floor, were folded and piled, and their shoes were aligned against the wall. When she threw her legs out of bed, he turned around, smiled at her and greeted with "good morning!", which she replied with a tired "morning" and playfully shuffled his hair when she passed by him on her way to the bathroom.
Now, she took her time in the shower. Washing her hair, splashed shower gel all over her body. After getting dry, she did her skin care, dried her hair, put on some light makeup and covered her naked body with her robe. When she opened the door, she found the bed perfectly made. She loved an organized man. And she loved one organized man in particular. The one that was now seated on the edge of her side of the bed looking at a photograph she kept there.
Oh, man, she had forgotten about that. So natural to be there all the time, that it didn't cross her mind at all to try to hide it. But, well, what one can do, right? She didn't regret it and didn't have a problem at all at keeping that. She loved that photo of herself, Gil and Hank in front of the Eiffel Tower. They had just moved to France and they found it hilarious taking touristic photos with Hank. Gil looked especially gorgeous that day, smiling brightly to the camera, holding her waist. It was a cold day, she wore a hoodie and Hank was seated by their feet with his head crooked, looking adorable as always. That was a nice day walking around, living the Parisian life.
She didn't say anything, went straight to find something to dress, and went back to the bathroom to change. If he wasn't looking at the photo, she wouldn't bother changing in front of him at all, but she wanted to give him some time to think whatever it was he had to think. Getting out, all dressed, he wasn't in the bedroom anymore.
"Hey, wanna some coffee?", she asked when she reached the living room and found him looking at her/their books. When he nodded, she completed: "I meant to say that your things are in your old office, if you wanna something…"
"Sara…", that whispered voice again, that made her look at him, waiting for what he was about to say.
Sara, I want to rebuild my life with you.
Sara, I want for us to be together again.
Sara, I've missed you, let's talk this over.
Or even
Sara, yesterday was good, but, you know, I don't want it for the rest of my life, so...
Sara, last night was a mistake and I'm very sorry. I hope we can move forward.
Sara, great to see you, but I prefer to be alone.
Really, anything will do.
But nothing came out. Instead of his voice forming words, she heard only the sound of china against her counter. She took a deep breath remembering his post-sex words, telling her he had missed her. Had he, really?
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure, anything", Gil said.
"Why did you give it all to me after the divorce?"
"Why are you asking this?"
She looked at him.
"The divorce was hard enough on me, but what the attorney said… Really got into me"
"What did he say?", he asked, worried.
"That when the husband leave everything to the wife, usually is because the other part doesn't want any contact whatsoever"
"I don't know why he said it, and my intentions were far from it. I just wanted to make sure that you'd be okay, safe, guaranteed. I didn't need anything else".
Luckily, or not, her phone chose that moment to ring, and by answering "Sidle" to it, put an end to the conversation. Sara had to go to the lab to sign papers, and Gil had to go to his hotel to change before going to the lab to wrap things up with Heather. She didn't know how she felt, but saw no other option than to leave him there and go to the lab.
TBC