A/N: Any comments that are made in this chapter are reflective of the time period in which it is set and how I believe that character would react in the situations. No offense is meant to anyone.
Chapter Eighteen
John managed, with some gentle coaxing, to get Anna to go and lie down. He found some fruit and cheese in the icebox to give the children for their tea, then slipped them some of Mrs. Patmore's special biscuits. John fed Elizabeth and oversaw baths for all three children before reading stories and tucking the older two into bed.
Now, he sat, bad leg elevated on pillows, with Anna against his side. She had assuaged his main fear, that Dr. Clarkson had diagnosed Elizabeth with some fatal illness, and now listened as she relayed the information of the day.
"So, then he asked me to place her back onto the table on her tummy," Anna sniffled. "John, Dr. Clarkson says Elizabeth should be holding her head up now, and looking at us when we hold her and talk to her. He said you're right, she should have smiled at us. There are so many things and she's not doing them."
"Sssh," John soothed. "Hush now, it's alright. It'll be alright." John was at a loss for how else to comfort Anna until he remembered what Robert had said about his own condition. "It's 1931, certainly there are things that can be done if Dr. Clarkson is even correct. There's that specialist, Dr. Cooke, from York. He's a baby doctor, he saw Elizabeth when she was in hospital. We can ring him and make an appointment. We'll ask his lordship to see if Mr. Stark would take us in the car if you don't want her exposed to germs on the train."
John remembered Dr. Cooke had told him this was a possibility, but he hadn't let himself accept the idea. To him, Elizabeth was perfect. If there was a problem, Dr. Clarkson wouldn't necessarily be the proper doctor to solve it. This Dr. Cooke could be. It would cost dear though and with loans out on the hotel and their savings tied up, it would be a stretch to see two specialists. There was no doubt, if it came down to one or the other, which one would have to wait.
Anna shook her head. "It'll cost too much money. We don't know, it's just I'm so scared, John. What if there's something wrong with her? What if she isn't like other children? What'll we do?"
John took Anna's hands and placed tender kisses on the inside of her palms. "We'll worry about that when it's time. For now, we'll ring Dr. Cooke and get his opinion and advice. There might be something we can do we don't know about, that Dr. Clarkson doesn't know about. Let's just take it one step at a time."
Anna wiped her eyes and cuddled closer to John. He shifted in bed and moaned a little bit when a jolt of pain shot down his leg from his back.
Anna sat up. "It's swollen," she observed. "Your knee. It's swollen."
John nodded, "I know, I felt my trousers tightening up earlier. It's my own fault, I couldn't sit still today."
"I'll get you a few cold flannels, we can wrap it, cool it down," Anna told him softly. Anna leaned over John and placed a kiss on his lips. "Don't go away."
The cold towels Anna wrapped around John's leg did wonders overnight. When they woke, John was feeling more positive about their plan going forward. He would not tell Robert, they would not tell anyone. They decided to say that Dr. Clarkson had recommended a follow up appointment with Dr. Cooke because of the injury to Elizabeth's shoulder. That would afford them the childcare assistance of the Carsons and John time away from work once more.
"Bates," John was speaking in a firm, clear tone over the telephone. "Elizabeth Bates, she's 8 weeks old."
There was a pause then, "She's not ill, but our regular doctor says she isn't behaving as 8 week old babies should and she was born under difficulty. Dr. Cooke saw her in Downton village on his visit there."
John couldn't believe the difficulties he was having arranging this for Elizabeth. She's only a wee babe and was already being set up for ridicule. "Yes, yes, we can do that. We can manage the payment, of course, we can. We will be there at 9am on the 25th. Thank you."
John ended the call and sat down. "Two weeks at 9. It's so early we'll need to take the milk train or go into York the night before."
Anna nodded, "Thank you, John. For not saying what I know you think."
John was confused and knitted his eyebrows. "What do you mean, Anna?"
"I mean, if my body hadn't betrayed me, if I had been able to deliver her…"
"No," John said firmly. "I am not thinking that, never could. You nearly died trying to birth her, that wasn't your fault. While you lay in my arms, bleeding and so tired, you begged me to take care of her. Anna, this isn't your fault. Come here now."
John opened his arms to Anna and held her close. "I love you so much. Always," John whispered.
"Always," Anna echoed. "Always, always. I'll never, never stop."
Elizabeth started to cry and so the couple pulled apart. John turned and scooped the baby up. "Oh, what's the matter, my sweetheart? Do you have a hungry tummy? Let's go fix that right away before Daddy goes to work."
Anna called Johnny and Maggie to finish getting ready for nursery. They would go with John to Downton and play with the Crawley children. Master George would be going to boarding school in the fall so the time left with the only other boy Johnny had contact with was growing short.
Maggie and Miss Caroline were the best of friends. Maggie often went to Downton without her brother to play with her. Mary and Anna both cherished the relationship between their girls as much as they cherished their own friendship. Still,they had not managed to feel comfortable dropping titles even with all they shared.
John gave Elizabeth her bottle and smiled down at her in his arms. She was so content there."Come on, baby," John encouraged. "Look at Daddy, love. Come on and let me see a beautiful smile. Let me see if you have Mummy's pretty smile."
Anna watched John, infinitely patient, with Elizabeth. With Johnny, Maggie, and even herself he was often a bit short. He tried to control it, but when he was tired or having pain in his leg, he would have a bite to his words he hadn't even six months ago. Anna knew something was off with her husband, but she didn't know what and she didn't know how to help him.
"She'll do it, Daddy" Johnny told John as he came into the kitchen ready for his day at nursery. "Elizabeth is a wonderful baby. That's what Miss Sybbie says."
John looked at his son with pride. "Well, let's hope Miss Sybbie is right, Johnny. That she'll do when she's ready."
"She'll do, Daddy," Maggie echoed her brother. "We are going to play dollies today. Look I have my doll."
John leaned over and engaged in conversation with Maggie. Anna fixed her ponytail, then gave both children and John a kiss. "Have a good day. Mind Nanny and your manners and Johnny, don't go wandering around without an adult. You must have permission from Nanny, Mr. Branson, Granny Elsie, or another. Do you understand?"
Johnny nodded and took Maggie's hand. John took up his cane and Maggie's other hand and they headed off for the day.
John found it uncomfortable at work that day. He had a headache and his body ached. The usual throbbing in his knee seemed to have spread towards his right hip now and his entire back ached. When lunceheon was served, he barely ate three bites. "Gone off me cookin, Mr. Bates?" Mrs. Patmore asked him. Joh merely shook his head.
Robert's schedule kept John at Downton past supper time. It was a formal meal that night thus Robert required John's services as valet. He had seen the children off with Mr.Stark towards home and remained at work. He felt if he went home to the comfort of the cottage, he wouldn't have the strength to get up and leave. So, he busied himself with mundane taks; rewriting the diary book, organizing the folders with the bank papers, all things to keep his mind busy.
He went up to the attics and went through the old clothing. There was nothing that would still fit Robert as he had lost a good deal of weight after his surgery. These items had been up there a long time, shoved to the back by newer fashions.
It was after midnight when John finally headed home. "Do you want for Tom to take you in the car, John?" Robert asked as he looked his friend over from head to toe. He was leaning on his cane as if his life depended on it and looked drawn and pale.
"No, I'm fine," John replied. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Come in late, I won't be rising before 9," Robert told him. "And Stark is available to drive you into York next week. He suggested you leave by 6am."
"If he's available the night before, Anna and I might stay in York. It'll be less on Elizabeth to keep her routine," John replied. "Let me know, the help is appreciated all he same."
Robert offered John his hand. It was warm. Too warm, but not hot. Robert didn't say anything. If John was sick, it would reveal itself. "Go home, get some rest," Robert encouraged. "I'll see you tomorow."
John returned the handshake and turned his steps in the direction of home.
Anna was waiting for John when he finally came in the door. The windows were opened to let in the breeze. She was sitting in the bed, her hair down and not plaited, the way he loved. John smiled at her, "Home at last."
Anna got out of bed and went to him. She immediately began to help him undress and prepare for bed. "I asked Mrs. Moseley to ring me up before you left the house. I drew you a warm bath and there's tea and biscuits in there too."
John dropped a kiss on Anna's cheek. He didn't want to bathe, but he had to, he had perspired all day in the heat. Even the little hairs on his forearms hurt in a stiff breeze. The water would feel good, but instead all that came out was, "I'm very tired just now."
Anna caressed his cheek, "I know. I can see. Go on, soak for a few minutes and let your body relax. You do too much, John. You've taken care of me and this family alone for months. Let me take care of you. Please."
John put his hands up in surrender. "Alright, Mrs. Bates, as always, your wish is my command."