A/N: Shout out to Elva for the review, I can't respond privately as you review as a guest but thank you for reading. Stay with me. I do a lot of heavy stuff but usually comes out alright in the end.

Enjoy the next installment

Chapter Twenty

Carson was just about to draw the curtains for the evening when there was an incessant tapping at the back door. "Who on earth would be calling this late at night?" he grumbled to himself, though it wasn't really late at all. In fact, the summer sun was just setting beyond the trees.

When the tapping didn't stop, Carson called out, "I'm coming. I'm coming!" He was shocked to see Anna. She was clearly upset, her eyes red rimmed and her usually immaculate hair falling from its pins.

"Mr. Carson, is Mrs. Hughes in? I must see her," Anna asked, twisting her ring round and round on her hand.

"She's not home just yet, Anna," Carson replied. "Come inside, come in and sit down."

Anna wanted to protest and head up to the abbey to see Mrs. Hughes, but if she did, and her suspicions were correct, John would be humiliated and cast out. Carson was nothing if not an understanding and fair man, a grandfather to her children and a father figure to her. She nodded and stepped into the Carsons' cottage.

"Why don't I fix you a cup of tea and you let me know what has you up here by yourself in such a state?" Carson asked once Anna had sat down.

Anna took a deep breath. She wanted to be wrong. She prayed she was wrong, but after the incident today, she didn't know how she could be. This man in her house was not her John, at least not all the time. This man was far darker, with a tongue like a razor, as his mother had put it so many years ago. It wasn't all the time, it was only sometimes, which made it harder to bear. If he'd gone off her, it would be consistent and why would he turn on the children? Which meant she was right, and if she was, there was only a little bit of time in which to get John the help he needed before the problem would be irreparable.

Carson put the tea cup before Anna, then sat down and folded his hands on his lap, simply waiting for her to speak. His patience and assurance reminded her of the time when Mrs. Patmore had been in need of eye surgery but was too terrified to admit she even had a problem. Was that how John felt now?

Anna wanted to temper her words with some sort of preamble, but when she opened her mouth to begin she blurted out, "I think Mr. Bates is drinking again."

Of all the things Carson expected Anna to say, that was the lowest on the list, perhaps just above "Mr. Bates had an affair" or "Mr. Bates is leaving me" or such like.

Carson leaned back in his chair, "And what brings you to that conclusion? Has he been violent with you?"

"No, no!" Anna said quickly. "He hasn't been violent, he's…Well, today he gave Maggie a smack on her bottom, and he has done it before with both children when they deserved it, but never when he's been angry. He's always taken time to think and respond to a situation. Today, he just reacted and it's been more and more lately he's been just on edge."

Carson nodded as he listened. Elsie had said as much regarding Mr. Bates at work. She'd told him he was moody, quiet, distant, even worse than when he first arrived at Downton and was the object of such undeserved ridicule. He was even worse than when he'd returned from prison with all the horror that brought to him. Elsie reported he'd stumbled more than once and used his cane with a lot more urgency than in recent years. Could it be he was hiding a drunken swagger?

"And did Maggie deserve it? Had she done something wrong?" Carson prodded looking for a way to redeem the younger man.

Anna shrugged. "She was playing up, disobeying him. He'd told her to walk upstairs by herself, that he wasn't going to carry her. John's exhausted, that is Mr. Bates, he's tired. He hasn't been able to catch up to himself since I've been well. He didn't want to climb all those stairs with the extra weight and she was giving him cheek. It wasn't that he punished her, Mr. Carson, I might have myself, but he was so angry. He vowed to himself and to me he'd not do that. Mr. Bates' father often did, you see?"

Carson sipped his tea. "Could it be he is just tired, Anna? All the while you were in hospital and recuperating, I've never seen a man work as hard as he did. He didn't want to sacrifice anything, not time with the children, time with you, time with his lordship. He wanted to keep everything as steady as he could and he wore himself down. Mrs. Hughes reported that more than once his lordship found Mr. Bates nodding off in the library or in the dressing room. In fact, his lordship ordered if any of the family or staff were to see Mr. Bates asleep, they were to leave the room immediately. Is he sleeping at night?"

Anna nodded. "More lately, yes. He even slept through Elizabeth's crying a few nights ago. Not ignored it, slept through it. He was so sound. That's not like Mr. Bates, not at all, especially with Elizabeth because he cared for her on his own for so long, they are linked in some way."

Anna took a sip of her tea. "I hate to say this, Mr. Carson, I truly do. I hate that I'm even suspecting it, but if Mr. Bates has turned to the drink again because he's overwhelmed or his leg is too painful or whatever the reason…I want to help him. I want to help him before we lose everything we worked for, before he loses himself. I just don't know how to ask."

Carson sighed and studied Anna. There was no fear, that was most important to him. She wasn't afraid of her husband. "Just ask," Carson replied. "Tell him what you told me. Tell him you are worried and…"

"He won't hear that," Anna broke in."I have tried to tell him to rest and to take care of himself, to reassure him I'm fine to take things over, but he is still so vigilant. This thing with Elizabeth about broke his heart. I think that might have been what pushed him, feeling like he could never protect her enough from the cruelty she might face if she is truly disabled. The cruelty I'll face because it was my fault."

Anna was crying harder. Carson arched his eyebrow at her. "What is wrong with Elizabeth?"

"Dr. Clarkson said she might be behind in her growing. Not her weight or anything, but she's not doing things other babies her age do. He wanted us to see a specialist in York, so we took her a few weeks ago. He said that Elizabeth might have a permanent disability, in that she won't ever reach the place others her age have done. He said she might catch them too, and we are going to help her, but it just hurt Mr. Bates so much to hear that. He wanted to throw up everything and take her to America!"

That was impulsive for Mr. Bates as Carson knew him. He never knew the valet turned private secretary turned business partner to ever break with his English stiff upper lip way in crisis. Even when Anna had been raped, even when she was struggling to give Elizabeth life he had not shown one ounce of fear, not publicly. If he was expressing so much, there was something wrong. "I just can't ask him if he's drinking again if he's not. If I ask him and he's not, it'll break him in two and I just can't do that to him. I don't know what to do."

Carson was quiet for a long moment, then remembered that the relationship Mr. Bates had with Lord Grantham had crossed the great divide long ago into a deep, trusting, dare he say, even loving friendship. If anyone could broach this subject, it would be Lord Grantham.

"I don't wish to interfere, and you might want to do this yourself, but if you would like me to, I could speak with his lordship and tell him of your concerns. If anyone besides you is going to get through to Mr. Bates, it's Lord Grantham."

Anna knew that to be true. She didn't want to embarrass John, but there had to be an end to it. She doubted Maggie would remember this spanking, there would be others for her, Johnny, and Elizabeth as the years went on, given by John and her. This was more about John than anyone else.

"I don't want to disturb him," Anna replied. "Or have him look down on Mr. Bates for an affliction he has no control over."

"He won't," Carson assured Anna. "Go speak to him tomorrow after lunch. I'll ask Mrs. Hughes to see that Mr. Bates is busy and cannot be focused on his lordship at that time. Telephone me before you go and I"ll come and mind the children."

Anna wanted to hug the old butler but decided a touch upon his forearm to be more appropriate. She wanted to go home now and see how John was getting on. She hoped they could talk things out tonight, that he'd admit it without her having to press him or have his lordship do it.

Anna thanked Carson for his kindness, "Mr. Carson, my children are lucky to have you in their lives. They love you so much and they aren't alone in that."

Anna then followed her impulse and raised up on her toes to place a gentle kiss on Carson's cheek. "Thank you for this."

Anna turned back toward her road, leaving Carson to watch after her. If he had a daughter, he'd imagine she would be something like Anna, or at least he hoped she would.

Anna took the long way back to the cottage to give herself some time to think things through. She felt better just having voiced her thoughts out loud to Mr. Carson. His plan was a good one. His lordship was soft spoken and well mannered; he would be able to speak to John and preserve his dignity as well.

The cottage was quiet when she entered. The children were long asleep after she had calmed Maggie down, but the lamps were still on in the bedroom. Anna took a deep breath. John wasn't sitting up waiting for her. She had expected he would be wanting to talk as much as she did.

"John?" Anna called out to him as she passed through the short corridor. She paused to see the light in the ensuite still on as well.

John was lying on his back, his face turned away from the lamp. Usually he would read before bed, but his glasses were still on the night table and his book closed under them. He had his bad leg outside the covers, telling Anna that he was having pain. She didn't know why, but he said it felt better when the covers weren't on top of it when it was sore.

Anna sighed, "John?" she said his name in a normal voice.

John shifted, but he didn't wake up. Anna reached out and tucked the covers more securely around John's shoulders then collected the pillows from the closet and slid them under his bad leg before preparing the cold towels and wrapping the limp. John slept on.

Anna leaned over her husband to give him a kiss, one that was one part love and one part research. She didn't taste whiskey on his breath, she didn't taste any alcohol at all, but why else would this all be happening?

Elizabeth started to fuss for her late night bottle. Anna looked again at John to see he was stirring. "John?" Anna asked as she moved closer to the bed.

"I'll get her," John slurred. He sounded drunk, but was it just exhaustion?

"It's all right," Anna whispered. "I've got her. Go back to sleep."

There was no argument from John.