Chapter Twenty-three

Robert was already at the hospital when Anna and John arrived in the ambulance. As the crew unloaded his friend and Robert heard his soft moans and cries of pain, he was transported back to a time he would rather forget. He could heard the death rattles all around him. He could smell the blood. He could see the terror, not only in the eyes if every man around him, but in John's eyes as the surgeons took him from the stretcher and laid him on the blood soaked table.

There was already a bucket of legs, feet, and arms on the floor waiting to be added to the pile outside for destruction. Robert held onto John's hand. He wanted him to know he was there and more than that he wanted the surgeons to know he was taking this man, the man who saved his life, under the protection of his title.

The surgeons examined John's leg as he lay there, body trembling from shock. The tourniquet cut into his skin, but at least it stopped the massive flow of blood. "Captain," the young doctor acknowledged Robert. "Is this your man?"

"Yes," Robert replied. "Yes, his wound, is it mortal?"

A quick exam determined the major vessels were still intact though many of the smaller ones had been damaged. "I don't think so unless infection gets to him, but the leg has to go."

"No," Robert protested. John was a working man, if he lost his leg, it would mean the end of his ability and that would mean an end to his means to live. "No, you can repair it. You must try. I insist you try."

John was murmuring his own protests very softly. In his shock, he was holding onto Robert's hand with a death grip. "We haven't the time to argue or to do a full surgery on every man that comes in here. It's likely in this filth the leg will become infected and have to go anyway. Why put him through a long procedure and waste time we could be helping other men!"

Robert fought for what felt like forever. He was about to demand another surgeon when the commander of the regiment stopped at John's table.

"Major Flynn," the young surgeon began. "The Captain is refusing to leave and let me get on with this amputation! We must get on."

The older man examined John's wound. "We can try and save it. I'll take over."

"Sir, that leg is no good! He'll never be able to use it! If it becomes infected…"

"If it becomes infected, then we'll take it off," Major Flynn replied. "Captain, you can watch outside. I'll see to your man myself."

The surgery took a long time. Hours, Robert wasn't sure how many…then finally he heard Major Flynn's nurse calling his name…

"Your lordship," Anna said for the third time as she placed a gentle hand on Robert's forearm. When she saw she had his attention she said, "They just took Mr. Bates for his xray. Dr. Clarkson will come talk to us soon."

Robert smiled down at Anna. "Lady Mary came with me. She went to fetch a tray of tea for us while we wait. How was he on the ride over?"

"He was in a lot of pain, m'lord," Anna replied. "But he won't admit it. I can hear him cry out, but he won't admit that it hurts. He's still got a high fever, but Dr. Clarkson thinks that once he drains the infection he should feel better."

"He's strong," Robert assured her. "He's always been healthy. I don't remember him having a sick day that didn't have to do with his knee. How are you? Can I do anything for you?"

Anna shook her head, "No. I'll be fine as long as Mr. Bates is fine. I just don't know why he didn't tell me he wasn't feeling well."

"Same reason as always, I suppose," Robert offered. "His pride, his concern for you, especially after Elizabeth's birth was so hard on you."

Anna shook her head, "Oh, John! He doesn't think! He's always so worried about me he doesn't take care of himself."

Robert offered a small pressure on Anna's shoulder as comfort. "Why don't you sit down? Lady Mary will be back in a few minutes with the tea."

Anna let Robert lead her to a chair and she sank down into it. A few minutes later, Mary was back with tea. Anna took the cup and only then did she realize her hands were shaking.

Mary sat down beside Anna and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She didn't say anything, she just held Anna in a silent show of support.

After a strained, silence filled hour, with Anna wringing her hands and Robert pacing to and fro, Dr. Clarkson finally came.

"How is he?" Anna asked. "Can I go to him now?"

"I've just started him on some intravenous fluids and morphine for pain. It is as I suspected," Dr. Clarkson replied. "Mr. Bates has an infectious arthritis in his right knee. The shrapnel that was left in from his initial injury caused inflammation and fluid to gather in the joint and that fluid has caused the infection. Unfortunately, because Mr. Bates is accustomed to pain and has been coping with arthritis in other joints, he ignored it too long and now has a systemic infection."

"What can be done, Doctor?" Anna asked, subconsciously holding tighter to Mary.

"The fluid has to be drained and the joint cleaned, but that will only aid in ridding Mr. Bates of the infection in his leg. The systemic infection is the most dangerous, that isn't something we can treat here. He would have to go to the Royal Hospital in York for the medication needed."

"York?" Robert broke in. "You would bounce him over rough roads for hours? Why not bring the medication to him?"

"The medication itself is a volatile substance that has to be handled very specifically," Dr. Clarkson replied. "We don't have the facilities here and it has to be stored at the proper temperature. We will, of course, make certain Mr. Bates has enough pain medication to keep him comfortable for the trip."

Anna looked like she wanted to be sick. How was she going to be able to nurse John in York and mother her children in Downton? John needed her. He was always there when she needed him. To a fault! Now, he was going to need her, but so did the children.

Mary seemed to read her mind. "Not to worry, Anna. We'll sort out the children." Anna was grateful for Mary's arm around her.

"What's his prognosis?" Robert addressed the elephant in the room.

"He's critical," Dr. Clarkson replied. "In all likelihood, Mr. Bates will lose more function in the knee, which in his case, might mean complete disability. Amputation is not off the table either, if the joint is too far gone to save, the doctors in York will likely remove the entire joint instead of the infection only."

"But he'll live?" That was what Robert cared about. They had so much to look forward to, John had waited so many years for happiness. He didn't want to see his dearest friend cut down at this point in his life.

"It's touch and go," Dr. Clarkson replied. "A lot of it depends on how he responds to the treatments. Now, I'll telephone ahead to the Royal Yorkshire and make arrangements for his transfer. Anna, if you'd like to sit with him, you may, but he's under morphine. He can't interact with you."

"I understand," Anna said with a bravado only Mary knew to be false.

"Come on, Anna," Mary encouraged. "I'll go with you. Papa can find you a place to stay in York and Tom will bring the children up tomorrow. It's already settled so don't argue. Either of you."

There was nothing Robert wouldn't do to help John, so he found a desk with an available phone and started making calls. Mary went with Anna as she followed a nurse to John's room.

To Anna, laid out on the white sheets of the hospital bed, his large frame filling it, John looked worse than before. His skin was shiny and pale, his jaw slightly slack, and his eyes closed. He seemed, on the way to the hospital, to be breathing easier, but now it was labored again. He had a glass IV bottle attached to his hand, which was lying across his stomach. His other hand was palm up on the bed.

Anna stopped three steps inside the door and looked over at Mary. She covered her mouth with her hands and shook her head. "Anna?"

Mary wasn't aware of Anna's suspicion that John had begun drinking again. Anna felt her heart ache. How could she have ever thought such a thing? John was tireless for their family, he would never risk them. She had been so wrong, so terribly wrong.

"Anna, what is it? What's wrong?" Mary asked. She knew it was more than John's illness though he did look pretty wretched.

"M'lady…Oh, how could I have been so…" Anna sniffled and fought back a sob.

Mary rubbed her arm gently, "It's okay to be frightened, Anna, but Bates is strong. He's always been so well. He will make it through, you must believe that. Have faith in him."

Anna wiped her eyes. "That's just it m'lady," she confessed. "I didn't. I.. Mr. Bates had begun to act strangely over the last few weeks. He was tired, Lord knows, from being mother and father both to the little ones and nurse to me, but he still was different enough it bothered me. He was falling asleep in his chair, sleeping through the baby, losing his temper with the children and me. I should have realized that he was sick and in pain, but instead I…"

Mary moved to give Anna a full hug as her friend sobbed her heart out.

"I thought he started drinking again," Anna sobbed. "To cope with pain in his leg or being tired or feeling overwhelmed. I thought he was going to risk all that we built for the taste of the drink. How could I have thought that? I sound awful even to my own ears. I was going to go to his lordship…What kind of wife am I?"

Mary soothed Anna with soft strokes along her back, "Now listen here," she finally said. "You have been nothing but a devoted, loving wife to Bates. You stood by him through everything, good and bad, for almost 20 years. He was acting oddly and you misjudged the situation. That doesn't make you a bad wife, Anna. Bates would never think that of you…Ssh…He needs you to be strong."

Anna nodded, "I need him, m'lady. I need him so much. I don't know if he's going to be alright. I…"

Mary pulled back and looked into Anna's eyes. "Go tell him. Hold his hand. Stroke his brow, and let him know you love him."

Anna swallowed and walked slowly to John's bed. She took his free hand into her, sat down on his bed, and whispered sweet words to him as he continued to fight for their life.

John remained heavily sedated for the ambulance ride to York. Anna followed with Robert and Mary. It was decided that Tom would bring the children and Mrs. Hughes with him once Anna was settled. Dr. Clarkson said John would have to be in the hospital in York for a couple of weeks before he could go back and convalesce in Downton.

The entire trip Anna felt sick to her stomach. She had wanted to ride with John but he had to have a nurse with him to travel under morphine. Anna explained to him what was happening and that she was going to follow him. He didn't respond and Dr. Clarkson said he couldn't understand, but Anna felt differently. She had to give John the safety and dignity of knowledge.

When they arrived in York, Anna was drawn to John like a moth to flame. "I'm back, my darling," Anna whispered. "Do you hear me? The doctors are going to get you sorted in a bed then we can be together until they are ready for you. I love you so much, Mr. Bates." Anna lifted John's limp hand and kissed his knuckles as the nurses and orderlies took John away from her once again.