6 – Seventeen

Senior year was harder on Carlos than he ever thought it could be. He thought he'd done away with he worst of his stress when he moved away from his family home and the temptation of the gang he'd fallen in to, and even more so when he finished up his mandatory summer boot camp. But the feeling that swept through him when he saw Steph swinging her baton and body around that stage at the fall carnival…

He sucked in a breath, following every subtle movement, and memorising the shapes of her body as she struck out and retreated. It was one of the most sensual things he'd ever seen, even though he knew that she was using the defence moves he'd taught her as part of the routine. Stephanie Plum was his best friend, the light at the end of the tunnel that had been his life before he'd met her. As a tension grew within him, he let out a controlled breath and subtly adjusted his pants.

That first glimpse of her at the carnival had him stressed for a whole new set of reasons.

And Steph wasn't making it any easier on him.

Three weeks into the school year, she started dating. It didn't matter who the guy was, really. The mere fact that she was actively dating instead of just admiring the view as she'd been doing since they met almost a year ago was enough to throw Carlos's world into turmoil.

In the back of his mind every time he spotted Steph with her beau was the information she'd revealed in the alleyway between two tents as the wind whipped her hair around her face. She looked impossibly small with his windbreaker swallowing her up. They'd been almost the same size before he'd left for military school, but he'd bulked up over the summer which necessitated a little extra room in his clothes so he didn't split a seam. This view of her, too, did nothing to ease the tension that had seized him along with the realisation. He liked her in his clothes, and he liked the way her fingers just barely peaked out the ends of the sleeves. Coupled with the fact that she'd just used the baton she used to twirl around so prettily to break some dumb fuck's nose just because they'd made comments about pinning some future blame on Carlos, and he was fighting the urge to kiss her.

Until her words shattered the mood.

Fucking Morelli. He should have known there was something deeper at play between them. Carlos had kept an eye on Morelli's actions throughout the year and while he tried it on with a lot of different girls, there was no one he pursued as consistently as Steph. It was a major red flag. One that he should have taken more seriously. He'd been blind to the history between them, unable to blame Morelli for his obsession despite the hatred he felt, because Carlos, too, was fairly obsessed with Stephanie Plum.

But what Morelli had done to Steph was unforgivable. He wanted to believe her when she insisted that the sex had been consensual, but to leave her on the filthy floor of the bakery, utterly unsatisfied, and then brag about it the next day… Just thinking about it made his blood boil. The bastard was lucky he'd already left to join the Navy by the time Carlos found out or he'd have been forced to put some of the skills he'd picked up over the summer to good use. As it was, he'd vowed to give him a proper ass kicking if he ever laid eyes on him again. He'd refrained out of deference to Steph, but not anymore.

Little did he know that the next time he laid eyes on Joseph Morelli, Steph would beat him to the punch.

They'd been in her father's Buick on the way to mall when Carlos spotted him on the curb outside of Gioviccini's. He had a paper bag propped on his hip, squinting into the sun as he checked that traffic was clear before crossing the road. He never got a chance to take that first step, though, because Steph had gunned the engine, jumped the curb and bowled him over like a he was a pin and she was the ball. She was breathing hard, her knuckles white where they gripped the steering wheel as shouts erupted all around the street.

"Babe?" Carlos breathed, utterly stunned. All he could do was stare at her, at the fury radiating off her. He cut his eyes to the limbs he could see beyond the bonnet, but he'd barely taken in the gruesome angle of the leg before a jerky movement snapped his attention back to the driver's seat as Steph flicked a tendril of hair out of her face, released her seatbelt and thrust open the door.

She slid out of her seat far enough to stand between the car and the door, an arm propped atop of each as her right foot remained in the footwell. "Anything broken?" she called to the punk laid out on the sidewalk.

"My leg!"

"Good," she pronounced, melting back into her seat and securing herself with the seatbelt once more before reversing off the curb and motoring us away from the scene of her crime.

"Babe," Carlos said with a little more conviction this time as she blew through a stoplight. "What the hell?"

She shrugged she shoulders, glancing over at him as she stopped at the next set of lights. "I guess all your mutterings about making him pay got stuck in my head somewhere." There was a light in her eyes that he'd never seen before. Excitement. Hunger. She'd enjoyed her act of defiance, and that fact sent a chill down Carlos's spine. He was a terrible influence on her. If he wasn't careful, he'd lead her straight to a jail cell. And if that happened he knew for certain that their families would never let them see each other again. As much as her mother disapproved of their friendship, she hadn't done anything to prevent them hanging out aside from creating mandatory familial obligations to keep them apart on occasion. If he got her sent to jail, though, he felt sure that he would never be able to see her again. Her parents would lock her in a tower if they had to. And that wasn't even considering the reaction his own family would have to him having yet another brush with the law.

"You're gonna get in trouble," Carlos intoned, looking through the back window over his shoulder despite the fact that Gioviccini's was no longer in view. "And if they knew I'm with you, they're gonna blame me."

"They're not gonna blame you," she assured him, confidence oozing from her tone like the jelly on her PB and Js. "I'll say I was swerving to avoid hitting a dog. No one can confirm or deny that a dog was there, and no one is gonna question a girl panicking in the face of hurting a cute little doggie."

"Babe." It was all he could manage. Sometimes her ability to spin a lie took him by surprise.

"Do you doubt me?"

"Absolutely not," he sighed, leaning his head back against the seat and watching smile playing on her lips. "You could command whole armies of hardened military men with a bat of those baby blues."

With a joyous laugh bursting from her throat, Steph took the final turn into the Quaker Bridge mall at a speed that would have had lesser men reaching for the sissy bar as she fluttered her eyelashes in his direction. She was as terrifying as she was beautiful, and moments like this, with the setting sun gleaming through her wild curls, and that uninhibited grin on her face only made him fall for her a little deeper.

But she was spoken for. Currently, Darren Gibson, a basketballer, was holding her attention pretty solidly. They were only about as serious as any of the other guys she'd dated throughout the year, but that didn't me it didn't have the potential to last a while. Darren was a decent guy, respected her boundaries, made her laugh and didn't baulk at the fact that she hung out with Carlos most of the time. In fact, he'd been the one to invite Carlos along on a few of their outings. Carlos hadn't even had to give him the 'you hurt her, I hurt you' like he had with the others. He was a genuinely nice guy, perfect for Steph, and that knowledge was like a knife twisting in Carlos's gut.

He was almost glad that they'd been accepted into different colleges, because he was pretty sure he couldn't spend another four years watching her fall in and out of love with guys that weren't him.

Steph wrangled the car into a parking space fair distance from the mall entrance where she wasn't in danger of accidentally scraping a fender on the way in or out. She'd passed her test, but just barely, and the Buick didn't make the parking thing easy. They climbed out and Steph was just about to close her door when she let out a little 'Oh,' and ducked back inside, reappearing a moment later with an envelope held aloft.

"I almost forgot!" she said, passing the item to him as they met at the back of the car. "The reason we're out here celebrating."

Carlos turned the envelope over in his hands, staring down at her address printed on the front for a whole thirty seconds before he managed to take in the emblem in the corner. His stomach did a flip as his heart clenched. Rutgers University Newark. Somehow, he knew that no matter what the letter said, he'd be both relieved and disappointed. If they accepted her, he'd be relieved because he wouldn't have to go through the pain of missing her while they were both too busy with school to visit, but disappointed because her proximity meant he'd have a front row seat to her dating life. And if they rejected her, he'd be relieved that he wouldn't have to watch her kiss other guys for four years, but disappointed because they'd be forced apart.

As all this swirled through his mind, Carlos lifted his gaze to his friend who had inexplicably become his secret crush, taking in the way she was smiling and bouncing on the balls of her feet. She'd been accepted. "I thought you were going to Douglass," he said quietly, unable to think of anything more constructive to say.

She rolled her eyes. "Just cos I got accepted to Douglass, doesn't mean I have to go there," she pointed out, snatching the envelope back from his loose grip and waving it in front of his face. "Rutgers wants me too, and if I go there, we can be study buddies. You know the only reason I even applied for Douglass is because Mom made me."

Carlos suppressed a groan as she tucked the envelope and grabbed his arm, dragging him toward the mall. "I can't wait," he managed when they were halfway between the row of cars they'd parked in an the next.

"It's gonna be great," she agreed, sending him that bone melting grin again. "I'm so glad I got in. I wasn't looking forward to not being able to see you every day."

"It's only a half hour drive between campuses," he pointed out, trying to relax his tense muscles.

She rolled her eyes. "Are you gonna make the half hour drive every day to see me after a full day of classes when you have assignments that you need to do?"

"We could find a place that equal distance for both of us."

"But we don't have to, Carlos," she exclaimed, throwing her arms wide as they stepped through the automatic doors mall, narrowly missing an old lady with a walking frame. "We'll be at the same campus."

"I've actually been thinking about skipping college and joining the army instead," Carlos blurted.

It was one of those record scratch moments. The jovial mood Steph had been projecting vanished, her face fell as she turned to face him directly, heedless of the fact that they were standing in the middle of the walkway. "What?" she questioned. "But you were excited for Rutgers."

"I was relieved that somewhere accepted me with my history," he countered, reaching up and tucking curl behind her ear. "You know it was always a risk that they'd take one look at my police record and reject me outright. But Babe, I wasn't built to sit in a classroom. I can't see that changing for a lecture theatre. I'm damaged goods, so I'm grateful Rutgers decided to take a chance on me, but I think I'd be better off somewhere more physical." He examined the expression on her face, trying to guess what she was thinking. It was a pretty big bombshell to drop right in the middle of her celebratory trip to Macy's. "That doesn't mean you can't still go to Rutgers," he pointed out lamely.

She stared at him silently, eyes narrowing for a moment before clearing once more as she crossed her arms over her chest, hip jutting out in that defiant way that always gave Carlos tingles down his spine. "Fine," she said. "We'd damaged."

He blinked, confused by the rapid shift in her mood as much as her announcement. "No, Steph, you're not-"

"Badly damaged," she reiterated, lifting her chin a fraction of an inch, cutting him off. "But that doesn't make us wise."

His head shook side to side even as his mouth agreed with her. "I never said I was wise for making the decision," he pointed out. "I just don't think college is the right place for me."

"We're not special," Steph went on as if she hadn't heard him, turning on her heel and marching on in the direction they'd been headed leaving Carlos to scramble into step beside her. "We're not different," she added, gesturing between them. She didn't spare him a glance to see that he'd caught up and was paying attention. No, she appeared to be building up a full head of steam, readying herself for an argument. "I don't think either of us are ready for the responsibility of choosing who dies and who gets to live."

"Babe," Carlos uttered, not following her thought pattern in the least. That was the problem with Steph when she was angry or annoyed, it shut down the pathway between her brain and her mouth that would normally have her reasoning everything out loud, even if she didn't realise she was doing it, so that Carlos could follow along and understand her viewpoint with crystal clarity. Instead, he was only given the glimpse that managed to filter out when the guards at the checkpoint weren't looking.

"Let's be normal," she insisted stepping in front of him again with a determined expression on her face focused squarely on my chest. "See bad movies, sneak a beer, watch tv, bake brownies, or… I don't know, go bowling? Don't you want a life with me?"

The pain in her eyes when she lifted them to meet his was like a punch to the gut leaving him breathless and questioning his decisions. Maybe he 't thought this through as much as he should have. Before he could regain the ability to speak, she was adding to the pain in his abdomen.

"Can't we just be seventeen?" she asked plaintively. "Forget about the pressure of the grownup world and just enjoy the end of this chapter before running headlong into the next? That's all I want to do."

"Babe, I-" he tried, but nothing he said could have wiped that look off her face. He was wracked with guilt for being the reason it was there, and for such stupid, selfish reasons. Did he really think that he loved her too much to spend the next four years in her company? It was a weak excuse, and one that he would never admit to her, not with the way her eyes shimmered with unshed tears. This was supposed to be a celebration, and now look what he'd done.

"Carlos," she whispered, staring up at him and straight through to his soul. "You carry so much weight on your shoulders that just isn't yours. Sure, you made mistakes, but that's what makes you human, and I can tell you're trying to make amends, but I don't think running off to join the army on a whim is the way to do it."

"It's not a whim," he lied. The thought of the military as a viable option for his future had only really crossed his mind once, and it was long before he'd received his acceptance letter for Rutgers. "I need to do this, Babe."

"No matter what the world says, Carlos," she said firmly. "You are good. You are destined to achieve great things. If you could let me in, we could be good together."

Her words caused the clenching in his gut and chest to tighten. She didn't mean it the way he wanted her to, he reminded himself. She wasn't saying they should date. She was just saying that she could continue being his friend and help him through all the tough times like they'd been doing for each other almost since they met. That didn't mean he wasn't going to file those words away to replay on a loop later.

"I just don't know if college is for me," he sighed, defeated.

"There's still time to figure it out," Steph said placing her hands on both of his shoulders. "You don't have to decide right this moment."

Taking a deep breath, Carlos nodded and spun Steph around so he could tuck her under his arm and continue their mission. "You're right," he agreed quietly as they started back on their journey. "I'm sorry for putting a damper on your celebration."

She made a murmuring sound that he took to be an acceptance of his apology, but it was cut off on a squeak as they rounded a corner and were confronted by Darren Gibson in full liplock with the Kenny Drake, the captain of the football team. Carlos glanced from the pair making out to his best friend, hoping that she'd somehow missed their amorous display and was reacting, instead, to a really good sale at the shoe store on the other side of the lane. The way her entire body tensed, coupled with the absolute fury that flashed in her eyes, though, made it clear that she'd seen exactly what he had.

This day was just going from bad to worse.

"Come on, Babe," Carlos said, trying to tug her in the opposite direction. The last thing they needed was a confrontation with Darren on top of the display they'd just had at Gioviccini's. Accidentally losing control of the car was one thing, but after the way she'd lashed out at the guys at the Fair back in fall, Carlos felt with reasonable certainty that she was likely to deck Darren, and that would be harder to explain away.

A neutral expression washed over her features as she met his gaze. "I thought it was odd that he wanted us to hang out with you so much," she said, almost mechanically. "I guess he was more interested in you than me."

The irony of her statement wasn't lost on him, but he didn't want to have to explain to her how her words could be taken two ways and reveal his feelings for her, so he just wrapped his arm a little tighter around her shoulders and lead her back toward the intersection of shops they'd just left. He'd take her to the food court, buy her some doughnuts and let her come to terms with her broken relationship, then when they made their way back towards Macey's Darren and Kenny would have cleared out and they could continue on with whatever mission Steph had concocted to celebrate her latest acceptance letter.

*o*

"You know," Carlos said half an hour later as he shoved the last of his chili fries in his mouth and watched Steph meticulously folding her bakery bag. "If I joined the military, I might have access to methods of making people who hurt you vanish."

She snorted, which he took as a good sign, and took a deep breath. "I'm pretty sure that's still illegal even if you're in the military," she pointed out. "And we agreed that you'd stop contemplating the army for now. We're gonna focus on being seventeen, remember?"

"Sure." He pushed his chair back and stood, holding his hand out to her. "I think I hear Macy's calling your name," he explained when she just stared at it in confusion.

She gave her head a shake, making no move to leave the table, instead picking up her empty milkshake and sucking loudly on the air inside. "There's no point," she said once she'd set it down again. "I was going to buy the shoes I saw in the catalogue that would go perfectly with my prom dress, but I guess I'm not going anymore."

Carlos frowned down at her. "Why not?"

"Well I'm not going with Darren," she pointed out loudly, gesturing toward the walkway that would take them back towards where they'd spotted her boyfriend cheating on her with another guy. "And I don't want to be a loser and go alone."

"The go with me." The words had left his mouth before he had a chance to swallow them back. He wanted to kick himself in the head. Had he wanted to ask Steph to the prom from the beginning? Abso-fucking-lutely. Did he think he had a chance in hell of her saying yes while she was dating another guy? God no! Was he an asshole for seizing this opportunity fate had given him? Probably, but an argument could be made for the fact that he was simply helping out a friend in need. Prom was only a week away. The likelihood of finding another date in that time was slim, even for a knockout like her. So they'd go as friends. Even if he wanted it to be more.

"Are you sure?" she asked timidly. "I don't want you to blow off your date for me."

"Babe," he chuckled. "My only option for a date if you say no right now is one of my sisters, or my cousin Valentina. The girls in this town are happy enough to ogle me, and flirt when no one is looking, but they're not going to commit social suicide by going to prom with me."

"But you're okay with suggesting I commit social suicide?"

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah, you're right," she sighed, pushing herself to her feet. "That ship has sailed. Let's go get me some shoes." She slipped her hand into his, took two steps away from the table, but then stopped and narrowed her eyes at Carlos over her shoulder. "No more about you skipping college and joining the military until after prom," she commanded. "You need to really think about the implications."

"You sound like my Dad," Carlos grumbled.

She shuddered, a full body movement that was both reassuring that she also didn't like the idea of being compared to my dad, cute as hell. And in that moment, he decided that if Stephanie Plum was going to keep choosing him like this, he could put up with her dating other guys. She was right; he'd been through too much that had taken away his childhood and adolescence to delve straight into adulthood and take on the weight of the world. He could be seventeen with her. And hell, maybe one day he'd actually find the balls to tell her exactly how he felt.