It didn't take Lena long to find him alone.

Dinner had been loud and a lot of fun. They ate in the commander's cabin at the dinner table, talking about the old days and telling about their life nowadays. That was the first time Lena met Froggy, Vanessa and Mick, so they had a lot of stories to trade. When Cass and Brett joined them finally after their shift, it turned even noisier.

Jason tried to relax but now and then he felt Lena's gaze on him. Luckily, they were soon out of beverages, so he took the opportunity to flee out of the room.

"Need some help with these?"

Jason had expected her to follow him into the storage but flinched anyway. "I'm good," he ensured her. "Thank you."

She crossed her arms and blocked the doorway. "Jason, what's going on?"

He put the box with soda bottles down and sighed, knowing he had no chance to escape. "I wish I knew."

"Well, you should at least know if you want to be with Neri or not."

Jason looked up in surprise and Lena looked astonished.

"Wow," she said, "that was a random shot because you seem a bit unsure around her. I didn't expect to actually hit the bullseye." Her expression grew soft and sympathetic. She opened her arms and took a step towards him. "What happened?" she wanted to know. "I thought the two of you are in love?"

"We are," Jason replied. "I still got those butterflies when she smiles at me and I cannot imagine one day with her not being part of my life."

"Sounds like there is a but somewhere."

"Yeah, I just can't put my finger on it." He sat down on the box while Lena leant against the wall. "It's so weird," he said, "I've been in love with her for so long and I do want her. But every time, we get close, something in my mind starts screaming no. It makes no sense. I always dreamt of being with her."

Lena bit her lip. "Maybe that's the problem," she suggested. "For years, you've imagined how it would feel to be with her. You created this bubble, this fantasy and now that it's real, this bubble is about to blast because you start to realise that Neri is actually not that perfect and neither is your relationship. That's a difficult phase for every couple. But when things get serious you just go back into the bubble where it's cosy and safe. "

"When you put it that way," Jason replied and exhaled, "it actually makes sense."

"It's a good working strategy for you," Lena said and sat down on another box, "but it's at her expense. She can't follow you into your bubble and she is left alone outside. Did you at least talk to Neri about it?"

Jason sighed. "I tried. I told her I didn't want us to have sex in between all of this mess as if it didn't mean anything. That it's supposed to be about us – when we have time to be just Neri and Jason, not the Princess of the Planet of the Oceans and … whatever my title might be."

Lena raised one eyebrow, looking a bit annoyed. "As noble as that may sound – you know that's just a tonne of bullshit, right? This situation will not get any easier and the conflicts will take years to solve. What are you afraid of? That you're bad in the sack? That you're gonna disappoint her?"

"Is that so hard to believe?"

Lena took a deep breath and gave him a sympathetic smile. "Jason, the way I see it, Neri is not the one fleeing into an illusion. She knows you better than I'd like to think you know yourself. And she still wants to be with you."

"I always thought of her being beyond any of us," he explained. "This perfect, pure, kind and beautiful creature and then there is me, pulling her down."

Lena shook her head. "She will always be anything but ordinary but she is still a woman in flesh and blood. If you came out of your fantasy for one minute you could see that too." Her eyes narrowed. "Or is that it?" she asked. "You're afraid you can't love the real person behind the illusion?"

Jason thought about it for a second then shook his head. "No, rather that I am the one who puts dirt on her, the one who changes her pure soul."

"By sleeping with her? Jason, this is the 21st century, not the dark Middle Ages," Lena set straight. "Where did you even get this crazy idea that sex is something dirty?"

Jason shrugged. "Since I found out about that girlfriend my Dad had at the office, sex always had a wrong tone to it."

Lena bent forward to take his hand. "You are not your father and Neri is not just some random bimbo," she said and locked eyes with him. "Being pure is part of being Neri. And that never changed although she's not a little girl anymore."

She retreated. "Jason, you are one of the bravest people I ever met. Take a chance on her and even more important: take a chance on yourself. I know you are very good it ignoring anything that might be uncomfortable for you but for Neri's sake, you better pull yourself together."

"What do you mean?"

Lena cocked her head to the side. "Sallyanne? Do I need to say more?"

"No," Jason murmured.

"And besides," she went on smirking, "there are a million steps between holding hands and sex. You don't have to go all the way at once. Believe me, from my experience, I can tell you the first few times you get physical: they are always exciting but also a little weird."

"That's encouraging," he replied and grimaced.

"There are things you should know about lady-parts," Lena replied and Jason got to his feet, holding up his hands as if she was pointing a gun at him.

"Please don't," he begged, "I don't wanna know."

"Oh, yes," she grinned, "you do!"

He hid his face in his hands and shook his head. "Why do I even talk to you?"

"Because I'm a doctor and in an actual working relationship with a woman," Lena responded relentlessly. "So sit down and listen!"