A Series of Unfortunate Perks

Sebastian Ibarra continued watching the basketball match, enjoying the game and the players more than focusing on who was winning.

It was in these small moments of respite that he could linger back to the earlier days of his youth, where he was just another kid on the court.

"Ahem"

Simply born on the wrong side of the tracks

"Errhem"

In the bad part of town

"AHEM!"

His only chance of escape was to prove that he could ball like no one else! Oh wait, that had been that old earth movie he had watched the other night. What was it again… Air Bud?

"No, that's not it…" He muttered to himself, absentmindedly batting away whatever was lightly nudging his shoulder. Completely missing the indignant squawk that his action elicited.

His hand cupped his chin as he slouched forward, the game becoming a background blur as he chases the elusive name of that move that he was just thinking of.

"Was it… Stomp the Yard?" He mused out loud, as his hand once more unconsciously snaked out and smacked whatever was now persistently poking his other shoulder.

"Ow! What the fuck!?"

The strange outburst that would have had Sebastian Ibarra whirling around was simply added to the background noise of the game. It blended in with the rhythmic tapping of the ball on pavement, the rough grind of rubber soles on the court and the shouts and calls of the players. A living wall of noise that tickled the edge of his periphery.

"Wait… it was Step Up!" Sebastian Ibarra exclaimed, standing or… "stepping up" and smiling as he finally nailed the name of that old film that had eluded him for 3 minutes.

His joy was short lived as he was suddenly pushed over the descending seat in front of him. Tumbling down and sprawling onto the concrete.

Motoko had been preparing to give him a meaningful push, enough to snap him out of whatever stupor this supposed legendary fixer fell into when he suddenly stood up as she made contact. The push that was supposed to have rocked him in his seat now had the unfortunate effect of launching him out of it.

"Oh fuck, fuck, FUCK!" Motoko growled out in frustration as she watched her enhanced strength work to her detriment.

"Hey! Where the hell did you come from!" The "guard" suddenly snapped to her.

"…..What. the. fuck?" Motoko bit out after staring at him with a gobsmacked expression for a full 10 seconds. "I've been here for five minutes already!"

"Hey! What did you do to Padre?!" The ineffectual guard had noticed his patron sprawled out and unconscious on the floor.

"Uhhhh, he tripped and fell?" She suggested as her right hand slowly drifted to her concealed Burya.

The guard stared at her for an uncomfortable amount of time, her hand drifted ever closer to the gun.

"….Yeah, that does sound like him" He shrugged and then moved to collect the unconscious fixer.

"Wha?" Motoko was confused, her hand still gripping the handle of the pistol.

"You'll have to come again tomorrow to talk to him. Don't come on Monday though, he watches a bunch of old movies on Sunday and becomes a bit obsessive about them for a day or two." The guard elaborated as he collected the limp but still breathing body of Ibara and started making his way down the mouth of the alley.

"What the fuck?" Motoko muttered as she watched the guard leave, she was still confused.

*Lying Bastard – Leveled Up*

"What the FUCK!?" Motoko shouted, drawing a few wary eyes to her. She didn't care, this was bullshit! She wasn't a lying bastard!

*Elder Abuser Perk Unlocked*

"Wh-NO, NO, don't give me that!" She wasn't like that! "NO NO NO! TAKE IT BACK!" She screamed, ignoring the basketball players that were jumping over the cage to get out of the court and away from the armed and screaming girl.

*30% more damage to enemies older than you by 10 years, every decade more adds an additional 10% increase*

"WHAT THE FUccaahhh, oh… that's actually pretty preem" Motoko eyes went wide as she took in this broken perk, she could probably kill Smasher right now with this active….

She slowly paced around the unfilled seats for five minutes, ruminating on this new perk. Weighing the benefits of it against being known as a… well that.

"I-I'm not a bad person!" She said to herself in the empty alley as she put one stat into the perk.

*Lying Bastard – Leveled Up*

"Oh Fuck you!" Motoko screamed once more

*Elder Abuser: Tree unlocked*

"Noooo… Why do you have to be so broken?!" Motoko whined as she took in the other modifiers.