Today was an interesting day. For starters, Naruto had shown up and there were several people already making a drinking game out of the comments left on the recent bout between the two Shonen warriors, but that wasn't what was interesting.
It wasn't the peaceful air that was around. There hadn't been an attack from the bad guys in weeks. That was normal, as even they too also decided to head to their home worlds to get back to basics. The only ones that didn't were already dead in their universe or simply weren't in anything that had been relevant in a long time.
No, what was unusual about today was the fact that Tony Stark was out of his suit. Not only that, but he was also completely sober.
"Seriously, pick up." He muttered into the phone.
"Yello?"
"Spidey!" Tony replied, "Hey man, it's me. Iron Man."
"Yeah, I know it's you Stark. You calling from Avengers Tower or something? - Because if it's Goblin, then I'm surprised that you can't handle hi-"
"Uh, no. It's not that. Calling from our little dimensional nexus point."
"The Hotel?" Spider-Man clarified, "Didn't I tell you to only call me up if Galactus was fighting Unicron? - Wait! Is he?" He sounded worried.
"Uh, no. It's not that exactly, but it's still big news." Tony replied.
"What? Are they doing a continuation of Chuck and Segata's fight?" Spider-Man asked, "Isn't that still going on or something?"
"Yeah it's still going on." Tony replied, "But that's not what's happening. They're basically revamping an old fight!"
"Like X-23 vs. Crying Wolf or Fortune?" Spider-Man questioned.
"Uh, no. It's-"
"Wario vs. Rouge the Bat. It's another callback to Mario's fight against Sonic."
"What? - no. If it were like that, I wouldn't be calling because that's a common thing that happens." Tony stuttered.
"It's Scarecrow fighting Mysterio." Spider-Man countered, "It's a great callback to my fight with Bats - Like how Eddie's fight with Bane was a callback."
"Well, you're on the right track." Tony replied, "It's actually-"
"Hang on a moment IM," Spider-Man cut off, "A friend of mine just swung by. Gotta say, this whole multiverse convergence is pretty neat. There are like, three Spider-Men swinging around that aren't me."
"Does he have blue as a primary color? - Weird skull/spider insignia on the chest?" Tony deadpanned.
Spider-Man was silent for a good ten seconds.
"You're fighting that future Batman, aren't you?" Tony barely made out the question Spider-Man had for his future counterpart.
"Yep. Can't wait to get in the shocking fight." The other Spider answered.
"He uses that as a swear? - Why?"
"Don't ask. I almost got myself killed because he kept saying so often." The present Spider-Man answered.
"What was that?"
"Nothing. I'll stop by to show him the ropes, then I'm heading back out." The Peter Parker Spider-Man sighed, "Again, only call me if it's Galactus vs. Unicron. I have a plan for that situation."
"You got it, Pete." Tony replied before hanging up the phone.
*CRASH!*
"HOW? HOW DID WOLVERINE GET DRUNK? I THOUGHT HIS HEALING FACTOR DIDN'T LET THAT HAPPEN!"
"RAIDEN! QUICK! WE NEED YOU TO - OW!"
Tony sighed as he called up his suit. Cleaning up after the drinking games was never fun. But having to do it for two fights in a row? - Now that was a job for Superman.
"Why do they do battles with those goody-two-shoes more often than battles with us?" Joker asked, "I mean, I like the idea of having another Bat to torment, but it's not the same if I don't have some competition outside of Bané there." He pointed to the brute at the other end of the bar.
"I'm pretty sure it's pronounced Bane, Joker." Lex replied, "And I'd have to guess that the battles between the heroes are more requested because the audience likes heroes more."
"But we keep it interesting! We're the guys that they have to triumph against in the face of adversity! To protect the American way!"
"I thought that there were more heroes from Japan that are there…" Lex wondered, "But besides that, we have some of our own heavy hitters. There's Nightmare-"
"He got beaten by an edgelord with a slab of metal." Joker pointed out.
"We have Fulgore-"
"Who got torn apart by that boxer and his secret agent friend." Joker cut off.
"… Me-"
"You were beaten by a guy who has more health problems than I have personalities." Joker pressed, "The only real heavy hitter is our version of Buu and Doomsday, and we had to lock up Doomsday, and put a restraint on the pink blob from absorbing us!" Joker ranted, "Outside of them, we have old Ganny, but he's a bigger buzzkill than that guy I killed!"
Lex sighed. Ever since the Gerudo King had failed in his previous endeavors, he wasn't exactly up for anymore battles until they got some 'real firepower' as he put it.
It was still fun to make him throw a temper tantrum whenever someone brought up the melee clone comparisons or called him 'Ganondork' though. Most of them were still careful to not mention his previous botched plan.
Nobody wanted to taunt him with that without fear of incurring his wrath.
Joker sat back down in a slump.
"Let's face it, Lex. Nobody wants to see a bad guy anymore."
"Who knows? Maybe we can at least get Darkseid and Thanos sometime soon. Maybe even that one being from Buu's world. What was his name?"
"Cell?" Joker asked.
"No. It wasn't Cell…" Lex replied, still in thought, "But good call there. No, he was purple and white-"
"Freeza?" Joker pointed out.
"Yes! Freeza. Perhaps he could turn the tides of a battle." Lex responded, "I wonder how we could get him to join us though…"
"He could fight that edgelord from that bartender's universe."
"Cloud?"
"No. The other one."
"Sephiroth?" Lex clarified.
"Yeah! That's the one. I was blanking on a name for a moment there." Joker said.
"It's not like they'd do that. They're too obscure to each other." Lex responded, "We'd have better luck trying to get that emo guy from that ninja's world to fight Beerus."
"That Ben guy would probably approve of it just to see him lose. Hates that Sasuke character last I heard." Joker chuckled.
"Isn't there someone you'd want to see fight just to see them get brutally murdered?"
"Oh yeah." Joker waved off, "Tons."
"Who's at the top of that list?"
"The only person I want to kill even more than Batman." Joker said in a dark tone, "The only person I wouldn't mind seeing get killed by me or anyone else."
"Red Skul-"
"RED! SKULL!" Joker slammed his fist onto the counter, "That little bastard can do suck on one of my guns or on one of Wonder Woman's swords for all I care, I just want to see him dead!"
"Great. Now he's on this again." Bane muttered, "I'm going to the gym. Find me when he's finished with his rant."
"I'm an Atheist, and even I would want to see that bastard go to hell."
Bane looked at him for a moment, "We live in a world where the Greek Gods are real. How can you not believe in a higher power?"
"I just don't." Lex snarled.
"Whatever." Bane muttered, "I'll be back in about half-an-hour."
X: You know something I realized while I was taking a shower this morning?
Wade: That your brain is a jumbled mess of anger and resentment?
Pinkie: That you need more positivity in your life?
Alexis: Chirp chirp tweet chirp?
X: No, no, and who told you?
Alexis: Tweet…
X: No, what I realized is a fatal flaw in that whole "Goku should have won because only a God can defeat another God" thing.
Wade: What is it?
X: Sorbet isn't a God.
Alexis: … Tweet chirp tweet?
X: Yeah. If that claim were true, or if Goku really was a God, then Sorbet's laser shouldn't have defeated him!
Wade: Holy crap you're right!