Life coaching and lack thereof.

V: "...What is this, some kind of intervention?"

Jackie: "Well the Hermana corta and I got to talking, and..."

Motoko: "-We decided that you could really use a life coach."

V: "...I already have a life coach."

Jackie: "Those Quantified Satori Cabrons? Everyone knows they're only in it for the eddies, once the account runs dry your left in the dust. No healing in that."

*Motoko nods.*

Motoko: "Which is why Jackie's new, and much improved input helped us set up a healing plan!"

Jackie: "Which I wish you would stop talking about in the open, Mama Wells has ears all over heywood."

Motoko: "But she is so much better then Camilla! Your mother will come around eventually, and it's not fair to Misty to keep treating her like some shameful secret!"

Jackie: "Sálvame de las mujeres problemáticas. Listen we're getting off course here, -just tell her what you did."

V: "What she did? Why do I suddenly get the feeling this is you two asking for forgiveness instead of permission?"

Motoko: "I uh, may have hacked into the Quantified Satori servers, twisted a few numbers around here and there..."

V: "What did you do?"

Jackie: "She changed the registry for your life coach."

V: "...Changed it to who?"

Motoko: "To the most healthy and well adjusted individual we know of course! Me!"

V: "Oh dear god."

Jackie: "Now it's not as bad as it sounds Hermana, while we learned an important lesson on Motoko's cut off point for alcohol, we do also have a comprehensive chakra healing plan thanks to well... Misty."

V: "...Why do you do this?"

Motoko: "Hey! I take no responsibility for drunk Motoko! Besides I even have a certificate of authenticity, and a license to practice... That I stole form Quantified Satori."

V: "Oh right, the QS Cabrons you where just insulting for not having any clue how to do their jobs. I liked my life coach."

Motoko: "Meh, he would have abandoned you in a second, unlike your new choom Motoko! Here to keep you in a healthy headspace with your chakra's full to bursting with energy."

V: "There's no way back is there?"

*Jackie snorts.*

Jackie: "With Motoko here? 'Fraid that ship sailed long ago Hermana."

Motoko: "First we need incense, then we need to get you down range with an HMG."

V: "...I don't have my HMG anymore."

Motoko: "Oh don't worry! The corporate expense account takes care of all mental health related expenses."

Jackie: "Uh Motoko? I don't think Misty's healing plan involved 1200 rounds of .50 caliber."

V: "You know what? I'm starting to think this might actually work out."