I am so sorry for getting this out so late! I published this chapter weeks ago and I guess it never showed up so here's hoping you get it this time.
Currents swept you out again
And you were just gone and gone, gone and gone
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For a couple years, Astrid is happy. She is a part of something. She's technically in a lower training group with Gustav due to their age, but Hiccup lets Astrid tag along on most adventures. And when she joins Hiccup's class she's always the best one there after Hiccup. It lends her a good degree of smugness, but at the same time, she's just had more training with Toothless before they had even thought of making peace with dragons. She watches as Hiccup builds his leadership. Everyone falls into place and looks at him expectantly, at first because he's the most knowledgeable, but then because he develops this unmistakeable aura that draws the eye to him in an almost tangible marking of power.
Everyone has roles. They have changed now that Hiccup has upended Berk's opinions on dragons, and therefore certain social hierarchies have shifted, too. But there are still set positions and Astrid falls into hers readily, her head held high. This time, her place is far more important than a little kid trying to work her way slowly up in society. She is, after all, Hiccup's first supporter, and with that position gains a certain amount of favor. Some of the teens roll their eyes and liken her to a pet, but neither she nor Toothless take well to that word, and eventually they back off. Hiccup is the hero, obviously, and the new role model of what Berk is to be, but Astrid takes on the role of cheerleader quickly. It seems ridiculously juvenile to the others, but Astrid knows she is the one who convinced Hiccup to go after Toothless and subsequently the Red Death in the first place. Hiccup needs a cheerleader. She's slowly learned how lonely he was back when Toothless was a secret shared only between the two of them, and he still is not open to others.
Snotlout blusters and tries to bully Hiccup in an attempt to seize more power in this new hierarchy, but ends up as the butt of the joke more often than not. Hiccup efficiently puts him in his place with an icy glare - Astrid likes to think learned that from her - or a dry, sarcastic quip or threat that makes Snotlout blanch and then sag in reluctant submission. Snotlout's days as a ringleader are over, she thinks with a good degree of satisfaction, although as they grow and mature, Snotlout clamors more for Hiccup's approval than to usurp him as a leader.
Fishlegs is a bit of a suck up immediately. He and Hiccup are alike enough Astrid isn't entirely sure how Fishlegs was 'in' with the group before, but now that Hiccup is in charge, the rotund Viking boy eagerly spouts dragon facts and Hiccup graciously listens with a nod of approval. He's a little too eager to follow instructions so Astrid thinks he'll never make it to Hiccup's second in command, but he has the least problem with her presence, so she tries not to judge too harshly.
The twins decide to try to win Hiccup's favor by appealing to his 'troublemaker side' and boasting of all the tricks they can play or havoc they could wreak if he only gave them the command. Hiccup is rather protective of his newly-minted status as a revered citizen, so he sternly tells them not to do so, but they ignore him easily, somehow determined that if he just saw what they could do he'd appreciate what they were offering.
Gustav believes he deserves a spot in Hiccup's elite group of dragon riders since Astrid is there. Astrid doesn't want him there. He insists on following them all despite never being invited. He grates on Astrid's nerves and truthfully she's annoyed at not being the only one her age to be a part of Hiccup's circle. How does that make her special anymore? And Gustav is such a bore. Astrid is Hiccup's cheerleader because she has a certain understanding, but spouting yakdung about Hiccup being able to do no wrong is absolutely incorrect. Hiccup occasionally praises Gustav's passion and says it reminds him of himself, and Astrid grinds her teeth together.
But Hiccup's getting restless, Astrid can tell. He flies on Toothless every day searching for something new, and Astrid stupidly thinks he'd grow out of it. Something's bothering him, like an itch he can't reach. She throws herself into being the best of his pupils at his new Dragon Training Academy, barred from fighting against the Outcasts and Berserkers when they stir up conflict with Berk, but she trains hard to soon be able to join the now dubbed 'Dragon Riders' in battle next time.
And yet, when 'next time' comes along, she still isn't deemed ready.
15 and 18:
"Absolutely not," Papa shakes his head emphatically. Astrid feels her heart drop into her stomach. She's been trying to convince him all night, now. She knew it'd be hard to win her parents over in getting them to agree to her going with Hiccup outside the Archipelago, but it shouldn't be impossible!
"You're too young to go running off," her mother says scoldingly.
"With Hiccup," Astrid argues. "He could run off when he was my age! I'll be with the Dragon Riders!"
"Well Hiccup didn't have two parents at that age, bless his heart and the chief's," Mother says benevolently and Astrid doesn't feel like extending pity towards someone who's more privileged than her right now. "Besides, he wasn't going outside of the Archipelago at that age," she adds.
"Your mother's right," Papa reaffirms, standing behind his wife. Astrid bites back the snarl that arises at his words. Two on one is no easy fight, especially against two experienced warriors in the art of arguing.
"No one else is too young to go!" She resists the urge to stomp her foot and let immaturity sneak into her compelling argument.
"Oh really?" Mother asks archly. "Is Gustav going?" Astrid sniffs derisively before she can help herself. No one wants such an incompetent baby when they've already got Snotlout and the Thorston twins. Papa makes a satisfied noise in the back of his throat and turns his attention back to tanning the yak skin he had been working on before this conversation. Mother finishes rewrapping her axe and sets it on the rack.
She's stunned into shock. This feels like betrayal. Because why couldn't they see that she needed to go? Hiccup was going, and where he went, she went.
Being younger than them has always been an annoyance, sure, but now she feels the difference between them like a tragedy.
Astrid wishes she got to go to Dragon's Edge.
At first, she's pissed Hiccup had gone off on his own without her. They were friends. She had been the first one ever to know about Toothless. So what was he doing flying out of the Archipelago with his new little flock of dragon riders without her? And the more he came back for supplies, talking about new species and plans for the 'Dragon's Edge,' the more bitter she got.
She is lonely.
It takes her a while to accept it, because Astrid Hofferson is above such emotions and 'lonely' implies that she can't make friends. But she does have friends! Hiccup and Toothless - well, they'd left her. But Stormfly is her friend. Then again, she isn't human, so she's not able to counteract all of the loneliness. Still, it's more a matter of not having anyone she'd like to connect with and less not being able to connect with anybody.
Her father urges to go frolic with someone now that she's done with the chores. "We're worried about you. It's not good to be lonely and isolated. The Gustav boy just came back from some trip a couple days ago; you should go flying with him."
"I wouldn't be lonely if you'd just let me go to the Edge," Astrid spits sullenly. And besides, she can't stand Gustav Larson. Her father's jaw locks into place he points her sternly out the door.
Mrs. Ingerman is bragging about all of the new dragon species her son has discovered outside the Archipelago. Spitelout Jorgenson talks about the lengthy plans he's sent to his son to deal with Dagur. The Thorston twins write home about taking over an island and then giving it up. The chief talks proudly about his son practically ruling an island on his own and how he can't wait for him to take on the mantle as chief. Astrid fingers the letter from Hiccup expressing his gratitude for Astrid's additional defense to his blueprints for the layout of the Edge.
And when the dragon riders come back to Berk to gather supplies, Hiccup thanks her in person.
"It was nothing," she responds nonchalantly, ignoring the flutter in her chest at his acknowledgement.
"I especially loved the giant crossbow," he laughs and she allows herself a proud grin. She had been particularly proud of that idea.
"I wish I could come with you," Astrid says wistfully. Hiccup gives her a sad smile.
"You'd love it there," he sighs. "But, your parents - I wouldn't want to -" Astrid rolls her eyes.
"I won't run off to the Edge," she promises. "I value my life, you know." Hiccup laughs and her chest swells with pride.
"Thank Odin, 'cause I do too," he tells her. "And your mom would kill me."
"And my dad." He shudders.
"Definitely him too. My Dad would also probably join in on the fun, just to torment me."
"Gobber definitely would." Hiccup groans playfully and then sobers.
"I'll come see you more often, though," he says seriously. "We still get all our supplies from Berk, so I'll be sure to stop by and see you." There's a weird squeezing in Astrid's chest, and she wants to tell him not to trouble herself, but if she's being honest she'd kind of like him to.
"And keep me updated on Dagur?" she asks. He agrees and launches into a tirade about how the Dragon Eye has never-before-seen maps and where they led, and how Gustav of all people had wormed his way to the Edge before anyone could stop him and found a new lens. Astrid holds her breath
"He what?," she says instead. She doesn't even know what to say. She's absolutely furious and strangely validated, but that should have been her. She should have been the one who found a new lens for the Dragon Eye, not Gustav and his lackadaisical buffoonery. She wants to run straight to her parents and slam this new evidence in front of them to prove she could go, too, but knows that at this point, contention will result in her being grounded and unable to even leave Berk just to prove a point. Hiccup, sensing her rising anger, reaching out and squeezes her shoulder softly, sending an understanding smile her way. She debates snapping at him, but hasn't heard about everything the Dragon Riders have done, so she bites it back as he launches into rogue dragon riders and how well her suggestions worked in threatening Trader Johann.
Her parents are out late together celebrating after the yak races and she's at home, sharpening her favorite axe when Stormfly gives a panicked squawk. She races outside to check on her dragon because Stormfly never reacts like that unless something serious is happening, and reaches Stormfly just in time for her house to explode behind her.
She screams, instincts of dragon raids kicking in as she shields her head and springs back up to see where the attack is coming from. She takes a second to absorb her crushed house and how the structure is more splintered facing the open sea just in time for her to catch sight of the flaming arrows sailing towards her.
Stormfly is beating her wings in a panic and Astrid runs towards her stables, desperate to free her friend as she hears the thunk of arrows hitting the edge and sizzling. She doesn't stop to wonder if the stable has caught fire yet.
Berk's alarm sounds as she leads her dragon out of the stables and Stormfly crouches over her protectively, a sharp growl low in her throat. Berkians run out of their houses, stumbling and screaming and Astrid sees the fire brigade hauling water.
"We need to help," she tells Stormfly hoarsely. "I'm okay, girl, but I need to help." Stormfly flies her around to help put out fires as the warriors gather, ready to fight off the threat that has suddenly disappeared.
When dawn breaks, Astrid is transfixed by the singed remains of her childhood home, stark in the feeble sunlight. Papa runs to her, face white, and wraps her securely up into the safe confines of his arms while Mother stares stoically at the wreckage, a lone tear riding down her cheek.
The Dragon Riders arrive the very next day, and Hiccup visibly relaxes when he catches sight of her unharmed.
She's the first one to sign up for the backup team of dragon riders the Heir immediately instates.
This Hiccup is a lot more serious. He has always been indulgent when dealing with her, first because she was too young and impressionable, then because she was his favorite, but as he snaps out flying formations and battle tactics he is nothing more than a harsh instructor. But that's okay, Astrid thinks as she watches the young man glare down Spitelout until the Jorgenson drops and gives him twenty. Papa was never nice in pointing out her shortcomings and teaching her to guard them. And there's something that settles heavy and exhilarating when Hiccup adjusts her in her saddle so she can fight better. His eyes are dark with vengeance and a shiver runs up her spine like light, ticklish fingers. She is taught how to dismount and mount Stormfly in the middle of a fight, leaping over Stormfly's crown of spikes to tackle Gustav off of Fanghook with some sick sort of satisfaction at proving she's better in a fight - and looking for Dragon Eye lenses - than him.
Hiccup steps back to survey them with a curt but approving nod just as a Terror Mail flies in.
"Stay here," he instructs, turning to worry with his father about lack of numbers with Astrid's team still in earshot. They all exchange a glance with each other, and take after him immediately.
Gustav leads the way to the Edge, but it's Astrid who shouts out directions as she and Spitelout tackle the west flank of ships and cover the blind spots of the other riders. Astrid stays in her saddle as Stormfly rolls, patting her dragon behind her crown of spikes to shoot a single spine with breathtaking accuracy to rip apart the ship's sails. She lands on the deck, axe held aloft and Stormfly poised behind her in the right position to shoot fire without harming her. Spitelout and Kingstail take on other ships from the air as Astrid howls her battle cry aloud and faces the onslaught of hired goons. She aims to maim and not kill, and disables their weapons as well as throws any useful barrels of food and bandages overboard to pick up later before moving on to the next boat.
By the time Dagur is beaten back, Astrid is vibrating with pride while her knees threaten to buckle beneath her. Hiccup stalks towards them, bloody with a few slashes added to his leather armor. The Dragon Riders behind him blanch and the chief raises a curious eyebrow.
"What you did was reckless and foolish," Hiccup says in a low voice, glaring fiercely at the line of people. Bucket lets out a whimper that Astrid silently empathizes with. "I said you weren't ready, and you came out anyway."
"It was my idea," Astrid declares boldly, stepping forward. The crowd hushes.
"No, it was me," Gustav steps forward next to her and she shoots him a venomous glare. "I led us to Dragon's Edge."
"No," Astrid protests, "I-"
"It was my fault, actually," Spitelout announces, ignoring Snotlout choking in the background.
"My fault," Mulch and Bucket chime in, stepping forward, too. Astrid braces herself for a lecture, for punishment. She steels herself against being called dreaded words like immature and too young or not good enough to know any better. Instead what she gets is a slow grin.
"You all were better than I expected," he acknowledges, and Astrid fights to clamp down a smug smile. "But if you ever disobey a direct order again, there will be Hel to pay," he threatens.
"Yes, sir!" they all chant. Hiccup casts his eyes over them again.
"Astrid," he calls on her. She straightens automatically.
"Yes, sir?" she asks.
"You have the most experience with dragons and a good battle sense," he says. The Chief nods in agreement behind him and Astrid tries not to float with happiness. "I leave you in charge of our new team of dragon riders: the A Team." Snotlout lets out a quiet scoff and Astrid bows deeply.
"It is an honor," she says clearly. She turns around to her team - her team - and barks out her first order. "A Team! V formation!"
They arrange themselves haphazardly and Astrid takes a secondary position so that Chief Stoick can take the front. The chief chuckles softly at her determined, solemn face but nods at her gravely as he passes her. They fly back to Berk, Astrid running a critical eye over her teammates and planning just the way to whip them back into shape.
16 and 19:
Hiccup comes back changed every time he returns from the Edge.
Astrid has changed, too. Maybe it's from the weight of responsibility that comes from being in charge of her own team. Maybe there's some secret growth that happens now that she's sixteen, but at last she has entered into adult territory.
She plans, she trains, she grows taller. She gets a new shirt, a deep, new indigo to replace the old, tattered blue green that fits her better with her maturing curves. Mother cuts her bangs a little shorter and men's gazes go from lighthearted indulgence to something a little heavier. Adulthood feels heavy, like an added weight that makes her square her shoulders and step a little firmer.
There are more adult developments. She can see the grimness that permeates the Dragon Riders. Being hunted by the Berserker chief haunts them. She can see it in the tired, stressed crease behind Hiccup's brows. He's facing an enemy unlike any other before. The Dragon Riders come back with horror stories of dragon trapping, gruesome ports and a leader smarter than Hiccup. Fishlegs now has the secret to Gronckle Iron but is overly protective of Meatlug, who had been captured by the new dragon trappers Dagur's apparently working with. Snotlout is less loud and more careful. The Thorston twins have a few more scars and quite a few bandages.
Hiccup collapses in the seat next to her with a bone weary sigh. She turns to him, a little tentative in the face of his world-weariness.
"How've you been?" she asks brightly, giving him a nudge. He sighs.
"Fine."
"Really?" she prods. He doesn't look fine. He looks like he's ready to sleep for a week.
"What? Do I really look that bad?" he asks. He's trying to be funny, but he's so tired it comes out mean.
"Yeah, kind of," Astrid responds. A beat passes and her internal voice screams at her. This was one of those times being honest wasn't the best policy.
"Wow," Hiccup says slowly, and she can see the walls go up, the hurt building behind his eyes, and the daggers he readies to stab her back. "Thanks."
"Not like that!" she tries to backtrack hastily. "You just look like you could use some rest and-"
"I don't need you telling me what to do, either, Astrid," he says harshly.
"I'm not," she counters defensively. Her eyebrows draw together as they form an attack to spit at him in retaliation for snapping at her, but he looks like a cornered animal and her tone switches. "What's going on, Hiccup?" He stares stonily at the table.
"Is this about the Dragon Markets again?" she asks. "Look, just because this Grimborn person bested you-"
"Forget it," he interrupts, standing up abruptly. "It's not like you could ever understand." She jerks away from him, stunned at the venom in his voice.
"What?" she asks disbelievingly towards his retreating back. She can't understand? What, is she not good enough? Why not? She bites into a leg of chicken angrily.
It's maddening, how she feels like she's always playing catch up while Hiccup soared seamlessly further and further away. It brings her back to when she'd scowl at her slightly shorter legs when she'd try to track him in the forest, the heavy burning in her arms at the forge when she'd take her then too-big axe and lift it up to hand to Hiccup himself instead of dropping it in the pile. Hiccup shouldn't have the fastest dragon, because that just makes Astrid unable to follow on Stormfly even more. He can blend into the night, and she'll lose precious time trying to spot him before giving chase. He's a hero for Berk now; he doesn't know it, but the Chief has started calling him 'the Pride of Berk.' And Astrid is just a little girl he helped a long time ago who arrogantly thinks that gives her a right to be by his side. It's easy to feel a kinship. With her, he is excited and childish - not in an immature way, but rather like an ever youthful sprite. With the rest of Berk and the Dragon Riders he's capable and speaks firmly, although not much. But is that the true Hiccup or is that his method of matching her own age?
She had thought herself so grown up, with an entire team of dragon riders at her disposal that she takes charge of. She was so eager to show Hiccup how much she'd grown. She was so sure that she had finally become an adult like him. She's sixteen, her body more womanly than ever before, her mind more sharp, her temperament more calm (but only barely) and a great warrior. The Chief has commented on her prowess. Papa takes her out hunting with his friends and Mother is starting Astrid's traditional Hofferson armour. She had thought all of that would prove she is worth confiding in.
Hiccup seems angry overall. The Dragon Riders eye him warily and always rush to look busy whenever he sweeps past. "He's been working us to the bone," Fishlegs admits as Astrid offers to help him haul the Gronckle Iron mixture. "Himself most of all," the Ingerman adds.
Astrid can see it. This new enemy the Dragon Riders have been fighting for a while is taking a toll on them, and she itches with the possibility of the A Team meeting him to help beat back the enemy of the Pride of Berk. The Chief is grim with his son alongside him and with a chill, Astrid realizes that perhaps the situation is more serious than she'd thought. But that didn't change the inexcusability of Hiccup's actions.
She doesn't want Hiccup to leave without apologizing to her. It's a little childish, perhaps, but even if she hadn't grasped the scope of the severity at the time, he had been harsh and rather rude (and she wants to see him lower himself a little bit, if only to be on the same level as her fleetingly).
It's the Hoffersons' turn to serve at the Great Hall, so Astrid readies herself along with her clan to carry heavy dishes of boar over flatbread and pints of mead. She does not serve the chief nor his son, but as she makes her way around the hall to attend to refills she finds herself at the chieftain's table.
She stubbornly avoids the Heir's eye, both out of spite and also so that he won't see the hurt that still lingers in her own, and stiffly pours a second helping into Gobber's left hand, which is switched to a large flagon. She senses rather than sees Hiccup take a breath, but turns on her heel and flounces away before he can speak.
He tries to catch her attention again, calling for a refill of mead. She raises an incredulous eyebrow. The Heir has never been keen on drink and she almost comments on it but she spots Snotlout Jorgenson burping loudly as he sets down his cup and rolls her eyes, her unasked question answered.
"Astrid-" Hiccup starts.
"I'm busy," she interrupts curtly. He pauses.
"Will you be busy after you finish for the night?" he asks when his cup is almost full. She pulls the jug away and looks at him impassively, not letting a single emotion show on her face.
"I guess we'll see," she says flatly. "I hope Snotlout enjoys his drink." Hiccup jumps, a little startled and guilty, and Astrid hides her smile.
She secretly revels in his eyes following her around the Hall, and lets loose a few friendly smiles and boisterous laughs when Papa's friends compliment her serving skills and ask if she helped at all with the cooking. She lets her hips sway with an added allure as she dances between partying Vikings to retrieve more food and drinks. It's probably a ridiculous endeavor. She is but a young woman and young men always love to chase the voluptuous women with the mature curves as soon as they are old enough to chase skirts, but she likes to think her own figure is developed enough to be a little enticing.
By the time she is done clearing the dishes and helping her Mother and aunts, the night has long since started and she wonders dully if Hiccup has waited for her. She steps outside the wooden doors, her hands wiped dry on her apron inside but they tingle with the cold air as it breathes along the remnant moisture. She looks around her, but the night is empty. She sighs, just as she hears the telltale whistle of a Night Fury zipping by.
She breaks out into a run, calling Stormfly and mounting her dragon swiftly. "Follow Toothless," she tells her girl. Stormfly is well acquainted with Hiccup and Toothless' scent and chirps an affirmative before launching powerfully upwards.
It's not hard to follow them. Despite their speed earlier, Hiccup hasn't flown far and she alights on a sea stack barely a few minutes later.
"You came," Hiccup turns to her, relieved. Astrid blinks a few times to let her eyes finish adjusting and can see him.
"I believe you have something to say to me," she says instead.
"Oh, yes," Hiccup turns to her. "Astrid, I'm sorry." She remains quiet and waits for him to elaborate. "Toothless, some light, please?" Hiccup requests. The dragon obligingly opens his mouth and lets out a steady, warm glow that illuminates Hiccup and Astrid's face.
"I shouldn't have said that to you," Hiccup says. "It was unfair to you and I was really stressed but that doesn't excuse the fact that I was rude to you. I'm sorry, Astrid."
"Why were you under a lot of stress?" Astrid asks instead of acknowledging his apology. Hiccup heaves a sigh.
"This Viggo," he grits between his teeth in frustration. "His dragon knowledge is better than mine, his experience is vaster and I - Astrid, I - I'm not the leader you think I am." Astrid frowns in confusion.
"What are you talking about?" Astrid refutes. "You're a great leader." He groans.
"No," he insists. She opens her mouth to argue with him but he continues before she can. "You don't understand," he stressed. "I led us right into his traps. I endangered my friends. I've let dragons get hurt." He dropped his head into his hands.
"I can't do anything right anymore," he confesses quietly. "And the harder I try to fix things, the worse they get. My team won't even talk to me because I've worked them too hard. And Viggo has the Dragon Eye and I - I don't know what to do. I don't." Astrid doesn't know what to say. She stares at him, the warm glow from Toothless' mouth dancing across Hiccup's choppy hair.
It takes her aback to see him like this. Sure, Hiccup has made mistakes before, but those were always silly and stupid. He'd never made a mistake where it counted. She trusts him with her life and his crazy schemes, and it's because everyone believes he will pull through that they follow him, but if he can't pull through, will they continue to believe in him?
She can see where he's coming from, but can't he see that the occasional mistake and lost battle doesn't invalidate all of his other accomplishments? He is still Hiccup, the eccentric forgemaster who made a dragon tail on his own. He is still the Defeater of the Red Death, the Savior of Berk, the island's Pride and Heir. He rides the one and only Night Fury. He has revolutionized Berk, and even runs his own island while battling Dragon Hunters.
"I think," she says carefully because she doesn't want to make Hiccup go on the offensive again, "You might be underselling yourself."
"Hmm?" Hiccup lifts his head up to meet her eyes.
"You do a lot," she explains. "You're the Heir preparing to take over Berk. And you're adventuring and documenting dragons. You run the Edge. And … you're going up against an enemy that's bigger and more experienced than you with only six Dragon Riders while managing to hold your own." She pauses and lets out an awed laugh before continuing. "No one can win every battle. And just because you've been losing lately doesn't mean you're not worth following."
"How could I ever expect them to follow me anymore?" he asks. It's despondent, but with a note of hope, like what she's saying is actually helping. Astrid squares her shoulders, bolstered by the thought.
"Do better," she enunciates crisply. "You now know not to work them too hard, and you know you can listen to them. "Hiccup, you … you don't have to do everything right all the time, because I know that when you need to, you'll always do what's right."
At this point, they're both kneeling on the ground facing each other, their knees touching. Toothless illuminates the scene calmly with a slow burn of his fire, and Stormfly is on the edge of the sea stack, preening herself idly. Their faces are close and Astrid's cheeks are rosy from the faint warmth emanating from the Night Fury. Hiccup is staring at her with wide eyes, pupils large and dark in the night and Astrid feels her heart start to steadily speed up. This feels special, alone with the great and powerful boy on his knees, relying on her to help build him back. She feels important. She's the only one privy to this sight, and part of her aches at how often it might happen without her there to help. This feels right, and sacred, and she has the overwhelming urge to move closer.
"Astrid," he breathes her name quietly and the sound zings down her back like the crackle of a Skrill. "Thank you."
Astrid can't stop the blush that overcomes her face. "Anytime," she responds awkwardly and punches his arm.
"Ow!" he cries, immediately clutching it. "What-"
"That's for being a muttonhead," Astrid says, trying not to sound petulant. He lets out a soft little laugh and leans forward so that his forehead is resting against hers.
"Okay, I deserved that," he admits. "I'm sorry for being a muttonhead."
"Good," Astrid smirks to cover the nervous flutter in her chest. He is so close. It almost feels like too much for her to handle, and yet Astrid has always been the type of maiden to jump fearlessly into a fray. She is never truly fearless, but she has always known that if she rushes headlong, somewhere along the way she'll find her footing. Hiccup has always made her ready to jump after him, be it into a battle, off a cliff, onto a dragon, and this case feels no different.
So before she can take a second and let fear and sense stop her, she closes her eyes and tilts her chin up until her lips meet his. He freezes as he registers the pressure of her soft lips, but doesn't pull away. She lets herself stay for a few seconds, then pulls away, opening her eyes lazily. She's met with Hiccup's gaze meeting hers.
It's a moment suspended in time. She doesn't panic, doesn't even contemplate what exactly she's just done. It is just her and the boy in the moment after their very first kiss.
They're silent a minute more, and then Hiccup breaks out of his stillness.
"I should start heading back on Toothless, so-"
"Yeah, no, I was actually -"
"It was nice seeing? Um, talking to you, and-"
"- Just about to go myself -"
"Cool. Toothless!"
"Stormfly!" Astrid turns around and practically runs to her dragon who is looking at her curiously, a what were you doing over there, young lady, expression on her face. Astrid fights off a blush. "C'mon," she urges her friend. "We should be back before Mother even realizes I left." Stormfly chirps her assent and launches off into the sky, a little away from Hiccup and Toothless speeding back to the Chief's house. Astrid presses her lips together in some semblance of the pressure she had felt before before her face breaks out into a wide, toothy grin.
That had been her very first kiss - with the Hero of Berk, no less, and he hadn't outright rejected it. Terrible Terrors beat their wings at the insides of her stomach as her cheeks grow hotter than a fireworm.
The kiss is never mentioned again.
She misses Hiccup when he comes back to Berk to discuss something with her father, busy with conducting an infiltration mission with the A Team on another island. When she does see him again, there are more pressing concerns that occupy her. Hiccup loses Berk's gold to the Dragon Hunters and avoids the island entirely - probably due to a sense of shame. It's a hard loss to swallow, but Astrid wants to tell him she doesn't blame him. He wasn't the only one who made mistakes in that encounter, nor was he the trapper who decided to steal Berk's gold. Chief Stoick personally apologizes and pledges his own coffers to provide for the families who put their money into Berk's gold, but no one is too worried. They still have trade to rely on as well as Grockle Iron and dragon scales to add to the normal furs, weapons, fish, and cabbages. Berk has always been a more mineral and commodity port, as the sheep are not especially fine or crops particularly rich, but Gobber and his apprentice had some of the finest craftsmanship in the Archipelago, and the abundance of rocks on the island provided a profitable amount of iron ore - with the added benefits of the special metal and decorative scales, they have a reasonable upper hand in terms of trade.
They do well for Berk's four hundredth anniversary, but after Hiccup is temporarily kidnapped, the problems start to close in on them. Everyone is a lot more cautious and suspicious to any newcomer, less likely to reach out to family on other islands for help in fear of endangering their precious Heir yet again.
When no traders come to Berk, it's not much cause to worry. But as they hear of more and more merchants losing their ships and lives while comparing it to the stash of food they have, Berk comes to a grim realization. The traders won't make it. They pool all their resources together and do their best to ration the food equally. Astrid volunteers to haul food from other islands and when they've stripped the surrounding islands close enough of their food she helps serve the stew and takes on a shift to help the Berk Guard break up fights over rations. She's so tired she doesn't even realize the Dragon Riders are back until she comes face to face with Hiccup behind the soup line. He looks exhausted and miserable as he sees her serve out a thin soup to little children already beginning to look eerily gaunt. Astrid can't help the groan of her stomach as she tries not to snap at the young girl who had just dropped her bowl of precious food.
"Hi," Hiccup mutters brokenly. He turns limply to look at the people of Berk around him, grim and hungry. And realization comes crashing down on Astrid. She remembers how unsure he had been only a few months ago, and thinks that things have only gotten harder for him since then. For the first time she sees him stripped of any glamor and realizes he is yet a young man taking on a war too big for him. He is a boy trying to fill in the shoes of the hero who had single handedly ended the war with dragons and killed the biggest dragon - all with only one foot. And underneath that, he is still the teenager in the forge, trying to create great machines to distract from the terrifying responsibilities he'll be forced to face as chief.
He is not part dragon or invincible. He is not a hero to all. He is not even a great Viking. He is human, and hurting, and small. But he is still strong, Astrid knows, and he is persistent. He doesn't give up until he decides to, and he has an unfailing wish to save dragons from unfair treatment. He will push through, she is sure of it. But she wishes he could know that, too. He held so much on his shoulders, unused to the idea of sharing his burdens, and right now he was buckling under the weight of all of them.
"We're hearty," she says steadily. He looks up at her in confusion at the weird greeting and she juts her chin forward haughtily. "We're strong. We've braved our way through famines and sicknesses before. We'll survive this." He blinks, then blinks again.
"Here," she hands him a thicker cut of bread than the rest she had been saving for herself. "Eat up before you go and fix things."
"I … thanks," he says eventually. She smiles at him and ignores the pang of longing in her stomach at the sight of the bread. She watches him leave and stop at a little kid crying quietly into their empty bowl. He crouches down and offers them the piece of bread. The child raises their head to look at the bread and then at him incredulously. She can't make out what they say to each other, but she sees the youngling hesitantly reach out to take it. Something in her chest swells while a scowl makes its way onto her face. Damn him. That had been her piece of bread that she'd given to him, not some little brat. It was practically ungrateful!
And yet, she knew as she turned to the next bowl upturned pleadingly towards her, it was so utterly Hiccup.
Her reassuring words prove prophetic as Berk is freed from the Submaripper holding their waters hostage. Hiccup arrives triumphantly with Berk's gold and then some right before Snoggletog. Berk breaks out into cheers - some of the kids into tears - at the heavy sacks of gold the dragons and their riders stagger under the weight of. The island bursts into motion - the gold needs to be melted down and minted, and Hiccup joins Gobber in the smithy to help. They still have no relations with traders, but with the burst of energy, Astrid and the A Team join the rest of the Dragon Riders into flying to far out islands and arduously lug produce and meat home. Chief Dagur of the Berserkers, once a bitter enemy, is now a close ally and signs a trade agreement with Chief Stoick immediately. Berk hasn't forgiven this Viggo person for everything; taking Berk's gold, kidnapping the Heir, and then starving them. So after Snoggletog when Hiccup walks back into Berk with a declaration of war against the Dragon Hunters, there is an outcry of hurrahs, grim nods of satisfaction, and a few murmured 'finally's.
The Chief is more focused on rebuilding Berk's stocks of food and relationships with new traders so Hiccup takes on most of the planning. The Dragon Riders, Gothi, and Berk's Guard sit around the table in the Great Hall pouring over maps and arguing amongst themselves. Chief Dagur of the Berserkers even attends occasionally, sweeping Hiccup up in a rowdy hug that has the Heir of Berk lightly choking. They spend hours pouring over different plans and sketches. Hiccup looks to her at the end of most ideas, but he also turns to Heather to ask for advice.
He brings in Heather, the new girl who's an unofficial addition to the Dragon Riders. She's tall and mature and beautiful with her own dragon and they rely on her the most in terms of offensive attacks.
Astrid hates Heather.
She's everything Astrid wished she could be. She has the coveted spot in the Dragon Riders Astrid wishes for so badly. She's happy where she is now, with a respectable team of her own on Berk, but Hiccup is the hero and the people who follow him are his hearty party. They are their own figures of bravery and ingenuity that compliment the Pride of Berk's own heroism. They are the ones Hiccup relies on.
Hiccup is planning an assault on Viggo's base, located by the Thorston twins, but they have to move quickly because Viggo is well aware his base has been compromised.
"You have the Berserker fleet at the ready," Dagur pledges. Heather nods ascent. Hiccup thanks them profusely and Astrid scowls. Of course Heather had to be powerful and high ranking on top of everything else. Heather's close to Hiccup; he turns to her for confirmation every time he speculates on Viggo's movements. Heather has the most experience in terms of traveling outside the archipelago and tracking Dragon Hunter's movements. The casual way she rests her hand on her collapsible, double headed axe (Astrid is not dying to look at it and ask how it's made, not at all) speaks of a casual familiarity that is only present in battle weathered warriors. A marriage between her and Hiccup would be quite beneficial, Astrid thinks bitterly.
"Everything's wrong," she whimpers as she curls up into a ball atop her blankets that night, hugging her knees to her chest in the fetal position. She feels weak and vulnerable and worn. She feels like she's been replaced - no, like Heather usurped her position. It should be her that Hiccup turns to for battle tactics or support - her who should understand him best. And yet she can't, not with the moments where she can learn him being few and far between, not when she cannot understand the situation he is facing on the Edge from her experiences on Berk.
She doesn't come to the meeting the next day, but spends it practicing melee combat, throwing her axe and grabbing spears from the ground to knock the dummies away.
"Hey," Hiccup catches her arm as she tries to walk past the Great Hall. "Where are you going? We missed you yesterday." Astrid pulls her arm out of his grip and tries not to scowl.
"I figured I could be doing more useful things," she says, trying not to sound too bitter. "The A Team will lend their numbers whenever you need them, but you don't need me present."
"What?" Hiccup asks incredulously. He walks in front of her and Astrid notes with some satisfaction that she no longer has to tilt her face up quite as much to meet his eye. "What are you talking about?"
"Well, you already have dragon riding experts," she shrugs, "And you have chiefs and other Council members working with you. We will be able to carry out any instructions you give."
"Do you not want to be there?" Hiccup presses, sounding a little hurt. Astrid looks away from him. It's not that - not at all. She loves being in the Great Hall with him, discussing strategies and being able to handle whatever someone throws at her. She just can't stand being insignificant and unimportant - she can't handle watching Hiccup and Heather develop into a strong political relationship in front of her eyes.
"Astrid, you should be there. You lead the only other team of Dragon Riders we have, and not only that, but you've been training them further. Who would know what more the A Team is capable of besides you? Your father is a skilled strategist who taught you too, and he is currently assisting Dad with trade agreements. We need you there," he rubs the back of his neck. "At least, I want you there."
"Really?" Astrid asked, looking back up at him. He nods. Even more than Heather? she wants to ask but doesn't. She doubts she could handle the answer.
"Okay," she says at last. Hiccup smiles at her, a hint of relief in the corner of his mouth and she follows him into the Great Hall.
She's a little embarrassed about her little rebellion now. It was immature and that's the last thing she wants to be, but Hiccup makes a more concentrated effort to include and she can't bring herself to complain about that.
"And then with the Dragonfly II, I'd be too fast for them to shoot at me if I drop from above," Hiccup finishes. She wrinkles her nose.
"Okay, no," he makes a note. Snotlout and Heather stare at her in disbelief.
"How did you do that?" Snotlout demands. Heather looks at Hiccup intently who is avoiding her gaze.
"Do what?" Astrid asks cluelessly.
"Nevermind," Heather waves her hand.
"We've been trying to convince him not to use the Dragonfly II machine thing for days," Snotlout grumbles.
17 and 20:
Battles are won, months pass and Berk settles into its new normal.
Viggo is gone but dragon trappers are still prominent, so the Dragon Riders elect to stay on the Edge a little longer to clear things up and deal with the rest of the dragon hunters. The Chief is disappointed, as well as Astrid herself. She will miss the precious time spent planning and fighting alongside the Dragon Riders. Hiccup has blossomed into a brilliant strategist, confident in his skills with weapons as well as flying and planning. But it is not as unbearable as the first time; Hiccup makes an effort to acknowledge her to the point that all of Berk takes notice of it.
"Oh, Astrid," a woman stops her on her way to the stables. "When Hiccup comes back, tell him I owe him a hearty dinner - my boy would love to see him again. You know, Angor is quite eager to become a dragon rider himself …"
"Of course I'll tell him," Astrid assures the mother gently. It's rather weird that people view her as a target to get to Hiccup rather than the chief himself, but maybe it's because Chief Stoick is a very busy man and slightly less approachable than a young woman.
One time, Snotlout brings a tired and irritable Hiccup to the stables while she's grooming Stormfly. She turns around in confused surprise that furrows into concern as she takes in the sight of the battered and weary leader of the Dragon Riders.
"Work your magic and knock some sense into him," Snotlout utters tersely and then abruptly leaves. She stands there frozen for a second longer before snapping to attention when a still conscious Hiccup groans.
She scolds him for overworking himself yet again and he grumbles an apology, continuing to lie in the hay until they delve into a normal conversation. It's not magic, and there is a residue of embarrassment from Snotlout's words earlier, but it's a while until Hiccup overworks himself again.
Even Hiccup's father seems to be in on it. Astrid is sitting in on a Council meeting that ends with the Heir storming out of the Great Hall angrily. Astrid schools her face. She agrees with both sides; she wants Hiccup to take more responsibility on Berk, but she can see that he is dealing with plenty over at the Edge. And Berk should absolutely support him, but it is difficult to send over resources without depleting Berk's own supplies and defenses, especially since Berk is still rebuilding trading agreements.
"Would you go talk to him, lass?" the chief asks her. Her lips part in surprise, ready to - she doesn't know - refute the claim that anything she could say would have any sort of effect on Hiccup. But she goes anyway, unable to deny the chief and curious despite herself to see if she truly does have an effect.
She does. It's dizzying and heady, the power that washes over her as she realizes the influence she has when headstrong Hiccup will stop and listen to her, when she can plead with him to do something or not to do something and he obeys. Something has been built between them, and it's something special, something only she's privy to when she's with him.
It isn't courting, exactly. He still thinks she's too young and she's not even sure if he'd ever think of her that way, but it becomes a routine. Everyone knows she's the Heir's special person, the one he likes to wind down with after he's finished reporting to his father and checking up on his riders.
Astrid is the one who can convince Hiccup to do 'anything.' And suddenly people who were seeking favor from the Chief and his family are calling out to her, inviting her to dinners and presenting casual gifts.
She's important to the Dragon Master, so she's important to the rest of Berk, too. She's nervous and isn't expecting everyone to crowd her so suddenly, but she learns to deal with it, to square her shoulders and politely but firmly excuse herself. She learns to set boundaries; in the marketplace, she's fair game, but no one dares to distract her from her training or the A Team. Everyone expecting something from her is daunting, but it's the price of importance, and so it's one she's willing to pay.
She likes the attention, truly. She can't say she doesn't swell with pride when Vikings praise her and ask her opinion. She likes being so easily recognized. She feels like a hero when they treat her the way they do the Chief and the Dragon Riders and the Berk Guard. She isn't one, of course, but she's some sort of hero adjacent, and she takes that role rather seriously.
Astrid isn't just the Berk's ambassador for Hiccup; she's also his cheerleader. She is his important person because she was the first to believe in him, and she'll never let him think she doesn't believe in him anymore. She's not spouting mindless flattery, either. Everything she says is the truth and she firmly believes it. Hiccup is still susceptible to negativity and ruthless criticisms, and she defends him stoutly.
"Don't worry, Hiccup," Astrid says softly as she sets the food down in front of him on the large wooden bench. "I know you'll be able to fix this." The Edge has been taken by the enemy and the Dragon Riders have retreated to Berk for the time being. The air around her is grim and tense with angry fear.
"And how's that, huh?" asks Snotlout. "You didn't see the flyers! They were all over the place and trained. It's not like you would know that."
"Snotlout," Hiccup snaps, although it lacks bite. Astrid turns to face the Jorgenson and crosses her arms.
"Maybe you shouldn't just wait for him to come up with the solution to everything on his own and help him!" she shoots back. "It's obvious we have to fight back, and now you have more numbers and weapons. The A Team is behind this all the way, as is the rest of Berk. The chief is helping with the planning and we're all trying to give you some time to rest. So leave him alone!"
"No, Astrid," Hiccup sighs. "He's right. I made so many mistakes and if I hadn't we wouldn't be here." She turns to him, her brow furrowing at his despondent tone.
"But you are here now, and that's what matters," she insists.
She stalks off, determined to increase her patrols around the clock and pushes her trainees harder than usual.
There is nothing, Astrid learns, more difficult than being a hero. It was easy enough to compose the ballads and weave the tapestries remembering the bravery of powering through a great struggle. Weaving colorful tapestries was time consuming and far from simple, but it was predictable and steady once one knew the steps. She used to dream of being a hero, used to covet the idea of accomplishing some big feat, but now she's seen an example of a true hero. She's seen him receive his congratulations, yes, but she also sees that his accomplishment cast a greater shadow that he had to continue to run from yet never escape.
Most people see her as the last voice of reason that can get through to Hiccup whenever he's doing something stupid. They see her as someone who somehow got Hiccup to bend to her will, but it's not like that. She can connect with Hiccup because she wants to support him. She doesn't complete him, no, he's his own person, but she helps hold him together. She stays with Hiccup because she wants to. Something compels her to be beside and protect him, somehow.
Astrid feels it, deep inside her bones. She should have been there to help fight the flyers. She should have been with him. He needs her. Maybe it's folly or pride to believe it, but Astrid is sure of it. Because every time he comes back he's more broken than before. Astrid knows the world needs him still. She had realized it on that night he had challenged her to board Toothless. He was different. He was salvation. And the world was hopeless if he broke before he got a chance to fix it. The weight of the world is balancing on Hiccup, who is too fragile still to be able to not crack under the pressure, so it falls to Astrid to lend him her strength, to take this on for him.
She is not included in the meetings with Hiccup and the chief, so she works on drilling the A Team and Dragon Riders while she waits for instructions on how to handle whatever battle plans will be the final plan. Chief Stoick comes to find her after evening's fallen to ask if she knows where Hiccup is.
"I don't," she responds regretfully, and so he takes his leave, grumbling about assembling the armies in the meantime. Astrid turns back to her team.
"Dive at the target, and do a barrel roll to avoid enemy fire," she instructs. "Go!" She watches two pitiful attempts until someone misfires. "You have to do better than that," she scolds. "The flyers we're up against are highly trained and dangerous. You have to be better than that!" Spitelout is nowhere to be found and she swears she's going to put him on dung duty for a month. The Dragon Riders demonstrate some new moves Hiccup came up with and Astrid absorbs them eagerly, but she can't help but notice the conspicuous absence of their leader.
She asks around for Spitelout again and gets no answer so she checks up on patrol. Satisfied that Gustav and Sven have it handled (plus Bucket and Mulch who're on the other side of the island) she takes off on Stormfly.
"I know, girl," she coos. "You must be so tired, I get it. But would you do this one last favor for me tonight?"
Hiccup likes to run to sea stacks, and in his years of exploring, she's discovered a lot of them with him. He likes them small, just enough to land on and stretch, but nowhere near the size of an actual island, and he likes them tall and precarious. The Screaming Death had turned a lot of islands into shaky slabs of stacked stone. Stormfly's expert nose leads them until - there! - she spots him.
"Found you," she announces herself quietly as she dismounts.
"Whoa - what? H-how did you-"
"What? Find you? You may not live at Berk anymore, but I can tell a Hiccup thinking stack anywhere in the Archipelago," she boasts. "So," she sits down beside him and contemplates resting a hand on his shoulder before deciding against it. "Want to talk about it?"
"No," Hiccup mumbles. Astrid acknowledges him with a hum.
"Astrid, it's not the Singetails' faults!" he burst. "Right, they're - they're being made to do it and-"
"I know," Astrid interrupted before he could spiral. "We all know, Hiccup. But that doesn't change the fact that it's happening and putting us in danger. Look, I don't want to hurt dragons either, but in tough times tough choices have to be made. If we have to choose between Berk and the dragons, Berk is our top priority. And it's not like you haven't killed a dragon before-"
"I had no choice!" Hiccup argued pleadingly.
"I know. But it looks like this is our only choice here -" he stands abruptly. Astrid quickly follows him as he strides over to Toothless.
"No, no. You're right, Astrid." She blinks in surprise. "You are absolutely, completely right."
"Great," Astrid frowns, trying to be happy about this empty victory. "When we get back-"
"No," Hiccup shakes his head. "When you get back."
"What?" she demands.
"I hear what you and my dad are saying, and, yes, it makes perfect sense. You - you have the warrior spirit for this, Astrid. You have the stomach for it. I just … don't." Astrid stared at him with wide eyes, an ugly feeling swirling in her stomach at the compliments that made her feel worse. He moves to mount Toothless and Astrid latches on to his arm.
"Wait!" she cries. "Where are you going?" Hiccup turns to her.
"To find another answer," he says firmly. Astrid shakes her head in disbelief. "And what if you can't?" she pleads. "Berk needs you. We need you." Hiccup lowers his head to avoid her eyes and doesn't answer and Astrid identifies the boiling sensation in her stomach: panic.
Astrid's hands grip his arm harder. "Please," she breathes desperately. Hiccup lifts his head to look at her, his eyes a swirl of agony. He bends down and lightly brushes his lips over hers.
"Goodbye, Astrid," he says. She freezes, stunned at the tender gesture that was too close to a farewell, and watches Hiccup take off into the lowering sun.
Astrid is familiar with the feeling of betrayal. Her age has betrayed her as has her own body - even her parents when they didn't do what she thought she could count on them to do, like understand why she wanted to go to the Edge. She's older and wiser now, and those inconsequential things pale in comparison to the treachery in front of her.
Trader Johann is a blow she hadn't seen coming. She's surprised at how much it affects her. She's always seen Trader Johann as somewhat annoying and certainly harmless, but to find out someone who's been a staple on Berk - a friend of her neighbors', someone who's watched her grow up - reveal his malicious intent shakes her to her core. Seeing dragons different was an easier pill to swallow when's she's young and still looking for that unique element in her worldview that sets her apart from everyone else, but Johann was a constant - she used to run down to the docks in excitement to see his new wares and taste the foreign treats. She can't help but withdraw, sullen and quiet and, honestly, afraid. When the chief storms off, an irate Heir behind him, and Gobber takes on examining the new traders' goods, Astrid watches suspiciously, trying not to get caught up in the mouth watering fruits and meats.
And when Hunters burst into the Great Hall, weapons revealed behind piles of food Astrid startles so hard she leaps out of her chair, then springs into action to cover her surprise. She kicks her chair into the oncoming Hunters, dodging swipes from their weapons and running outside.
Berk is being decimated. Her breath catches in her throat as she watches the dragons decimate the buildings. With the Berkians caught off guard, the damage is worse than most of the raids they used to suffer through. Mothers are on the ground shielding their children, Hunters are brandishing their swords cruelly and laughing while the children scream. They don't remember the terror of being attacked by dragons. And there - she spots Stormfly weighed down by a net, screeching angrily. Astrid lets out a piercing howl of rage and launches herself down the long flight of stone stairs, blindly shoving the attackers off of her, ignoring their screams of fear and pain when she reaches the bottom and rolls, snatching up an axe.
"No one messes with my dragon!" she snarls, rushing forward protectively. Everything Stormfly has done for her - the matronly preening, the concerned chirps directed at her when she's feeling down, the way her dragon would wrap her wing around Astrid when she was cold - cloud her mind until her focus is colored a hazy red. She almost doesn't even notice the fireball that lands right in front of her, throwing up the blade of her axe to shield her face. If she hadn't stopped when she had, she would have been hit directly.
A large red Singetail lands on a house above Stormfly, unreachable behind a wall of fire and struggling pitifully. A dark skinned man sits atop the red dragon, with close cut hair and a scar over his eye. Astrid decides she hates him and he is the ugliest man she's ever seen. She lets out a fearsome battlecry and lets her axe fly. He catches it easily, and she's begrudgingly impressed at his reflexes, but now she hates him even more for being capable.
"Johann was right," the ugly man atop the Singetail sneers. "So predictable." And that is like a shot to her heart. She prides herself on her battle skills; her father is recognized for his keen mind and strength. Her mom is quick and forever fearless. And Astrid has made so many huge strides. She's already participated in important battles. She's one of the few skilled in aerial combat on Berk. The A Team looks to her for new tricks and instructions. For an enemy to beat her so easily like it's child's play makes her accomplishment feel like they are nothing but an indulgence. Is this all just a foul trick the adults all played on her to give an inflated sense of self worth? She barely struggles as the Hunters drag her away.
Now, tied up in the Great Hall, Astrid watches as all of Berk trickles in as hostages. The Berk Guard, the mothers and the children and the fisherman - even the Dragon Riders - are tied up in different parts of the hall. A few Hunters stay inside, patrolling around the prisoners and grilling anyone for information.
It takes hours for the Hunters to dwindle in number, more focused on manning Berk's defenses against the island's very leaders than keeping an eye on the helpless hostages. Astrid tracks their burly enemies with calculating eyes.
Escaping is easy enough. Gobber has a hidden weapon they use to free themselves and Astrid can truly appreciate the fighters the Dragon Riders have become. Before, she used to look down on them in derision and wonder why they were more qualified to go off and adventure rather than her. She'd always seen them with faulty discipline and way too much arguing. Now, though, she can see how they've matured.
Snotlout is irritating as ever, but despite his own annoyance and loud complaints, his eyes are sharp and predatory as they track the concealed knife being passed around. Fishlegs is sitting with his back to Astrid, and when she holds out the knife between them he starts cutting through his ropes discreetly with a deftness that suggests he has a good deal of experience. His face stays impassive and steady, and Astrid appreciates it as her heart rate speeds up with nerves. Tuffnut speaks up to cause a diversion, seemingly as clueless as ever, but his eyes watch them carefully as he makes sure to hold their captors' attention.
Astrid feels bolstered beside them. They have grown. They are people she can respect, and they turn to her as an equal, which makes her think that she must be capable, too. She frees herself, and pounces along with Fishlegs on an unsuspecting Hunter. But even with three Hunters dealt with, there are still more in the Great Hall. Gobber, Fishlegs, and Snotlout have a proper stout build and don the Hunter's helmets to give them a second's advantage should they get caught. Astrid and the Thorston Twins slowly shuffle to other captives, knives in hand before discreetly freeing them.
The Hunters are properly disposed of, and Astrid finds herself giving out orders before she can stop herself.
"Snotlout, check the doors along with Gobber," she says. She climbs onto a table and cups her hands around her mouth. "Hey, everyone!" she calls to get their attention.
"The door is barricaded, lass!" calls Gobber. She scowls.
"Okay, change of plans," she grumbles. She starts to organize Berk to try to break down the door from the inside and prepare them for battle. Outside, they can hear the sounds of the Singetails fighting and Hunters shouting. They hear a bellow and their hearts flutter. That's the sound of their Chief fighting for them.
"Everyone get back!" Astrid yells out orders. Everyone backs away and the door is hit by fire. "Okay, you guys got this," she cries, pointing to the Viking lumberjacks who have hoisted a long wooden table atop their shoulders to use as a battering ram and break out of the building. When the door collapses, Berk pours out onto the steps in a controlled fashion, the warriors in the front descending protectively before the mothers and children follow. Astrid had devised a battle plan with some of the Berk Guard, and they split off to complete their tasks. She leads a charge of her own, reuniting with Stormfly as the Dragon Riders and A Team take to the air. For a fleeting moment, everyone is looking to her for instructions. To everyone on Berk, the moment is memorialized. Her braid flies behind her as she leans over her mount's neck and she howls a bloodcurdling battle cry into the loud night. She chases the flyers with a single minded intent and blasts them off the Singetails. Krogan departs swiftly, barely able to outfly her. She's fierce, she's stunning. The island looks up at her in awe and hail another legend in front of them.
Astrid Hofferson wouldn't call herself a hero, but she's the only one who wouldn't.
18 and 21:
Hiccup comes back from the Edge for good, stronger, wiser, and broken.
The Dragon Riders are not entirely disbanded, but they are no longer active the same way. Fishlegs Ingerman joins the council promptly and the Thorston twins take on managing the Dragon Races for the season. Snotlout is taken under his father's tutelage as a future General and chief's right hand man. It is Astrid who now is the head of the active Dragon Riders.
Hiccup takes on his duties as Heir, helping run the village and participate on the council, but there is a lifeless quality that prevents Stoick from making him chief officially. The elders exchange concerned glances and more often than not, Astrid is sent out after him to bring him back to Berk and out of his own head.
"Would you find him, lass?" Gobber asks testily. "That damn lad was s'posed to help me in the Forge today. T'd be nice of him to show up fer work."
"Sure, Gobber," she acquiesces easily. "You didn't happen to see which way he went, did you?"
"Nah, sorry lass." She shrugs. She has no doubt she'll still be able to find him regardless. She knows him better than anyone because she's spent years perfecting her study of Hiccup Haddock and others are only now trying to unravel the enigmatic heir and understand him instead of making him understand them. She has a map of all the places she's ever found him 'exploring,' crafted with the parchment she had begun to acquire and draw on with scrupulous observation and his tutelage. So she decides to go west, which the direction Hiccup has favored most these days until she finds not entirely dispersed clouds of dust and sees familiar silhouettes perched on the edge of a sea stack.
Hiccup greets her with a wry smile and she can't hold back the sigh that comes at seeing his slumped posture and the glazed look in his eye. She sits beside him tentatively and places a hand over his.
He doesn't react, nor does he move away, but Astrid lets him be. He hasn't told her everything yet, but the final battles against Krogan and Viggo and Johann have been hard on him. She knows he's haunted by his mistakes, the various rough scars his riders bear, and the images of slaughtered and butchered dragons. If there's one thing she's learned, the world could be a cruel place and could infect you with cold bitterness. She is mostly untouched as of yet by this strange disease, but every day in the trading agreements and occasional exploration she'll see the remnants of the darker side of humanity and remember when Berk used to slaughter dragons, too.
Hiccup's heart is too big; he wants to save every dragon and gift every Viking the possibility of peace and flight. She wonders if that's why he's always drawn outside of Berk, subconsciously looking for more people to meet and help and save. But such a big undertaking is too great for one man alone, and so Astrid squeezes his hand to try to let him know she is beside him in every way that counts.
It's in moments like these when Astrid looks at Hiccup and sees a lost sense of direction and a sense of despair. She's always been called to him as soon as she got to know him, and though she doubts the feeling is mutual, there are seconds where she can delude herself into believing that they were always supposed to be together, and that it's her fault she can never catch up. She's afraid he's holding himself back and stupidly thinks it's because of her, which is ridiculous because she's never that important. But then there are those moments where she presses herself up on her tiptoes to kiss him gently and he cradles her face the way one does a prized weapon or heirloom. Sometimes she does it to comfort him, sometimes she'll do it to escape her world and make him her world for a few precious minutes. They never go further than heavy breaths into each others' mouths and gentle caresses, but he ignites her from the inside and she'll relieve the bite of fire by nipping at his lips. Sometimes she lets him lead and tilt her head up before devouring her, a firm grip on her chin while her hands scrabble for desperate, dizzying stability along his shoulders.
Astrid cups his face with one hand and waits for him to turn to her in permission before she closes the distance. They kiss leisurely, exploring each other's mouth with lazy familiarity. If there's one thing Astrid's learned in the past year, Hiccup is starved for physical contact. Toothless isn't quite the same as human contact, and one of the quickest methods for pulling him out of a slump is to ground him in her touch. It goes both ways. Here, they are two young Vikings who are learning the intricacies and basics of mutual pleasure. They are not a great hero and a normal Viking, they are not the future chief and a simple soldier. All they are is Hiccup and Astrid, and Astrid can pretend for a second that she's enough for him.
What they have is quiet and private, not a trace of it to be seen on the days it's Astrid's turn to serve the Chief and son in the Great Hall, or when the Pride of Berk comes to check on the A Team, which is now an established section of the Berk Guard. And everything is good, him sneaking off and her going to 'find' him while they lose themselves in each others' lips, and Astrid thinks she's happy. She is happy; she's got the routine, and even if Hiccup's made her no promises, that's alright even if she's toeing the line of being considered compromised if she's ever found out. But that would just rule her out of any other marriages, and she's fine with that, so she doesn't worry. She's good. They were good. Hiccup was good. She's Hiccup's only competition in Dragon Racing and she loves to lord it over his head while he's smiling fondly (she has to stand on a table in order to ensure she's actually taller than him) but it looks like he's healing over everything that happened at the Edge. Maybe he isn't all the way whole again but Astrid's okay with that. She's sure they'll reach a point someday where they become something and she's fine with waiting until he's ready for it, too. She knows he'd never give anything but his all and so she can't blame him for holding back.
And then one day she doesn't catch him soon enough.
Notes:
Since Astrid is never as present as canon, Hiccup is more subdued and snarky, because there is always going to be that slight divide between him and the Dragon Riders without Astrid as a bridge between them. He's going to be more cynical and hard. He didn't have Astrid to kick his butt into shape every time he needed her, so he makes some more mistakes and has a little less faith in humanity. He never fully loses his bitterness from the first movie, and Astrid continually aches because she's sure on some subconscious level that she was the one supposed to help him and she was never there.
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Oh, and I would like to formally announce that I am not planning on commissioning anyone to make my stories into comics or anything like that. I write fanfiction as a labor of love and I do it for free. I do not have money to pay people who want to make money off of my work that I am not getting paid for. If someone wants to draw fanart because I have inspired them and then share it, I will be tremendously happy and flattered, but please don't do business with my fanfiction. Let's try to make this fandom experience a community of people giving, instead of consuming and selling. Thank you.