"The partially, nearly Naked Gun 3 : 'They Saved Crumpf's Brain'..."

Summary: Frank Drebbin is out of retirement and on the case when he learns the fanatical former president and loser candidate Fred Crumpf may not be quite as dead as he left him and he and/or his crazies including his family threaten the newly elected President Woodrowmina Wilson.

Of course, Nordberg is no longer on the squad because of, well, we never talk about that...

Part LIV…

Department of Presidential Security…Conference Room off the lab area…

"His flight lands in Vancouver and he must be planning to fly out to the Pacific from there, probably by commercial jet to Hawaii." Marjorie noted to the group seated about her. "We've arranged with the Canadians to have it delayed for a bit in the air when it reaches their air space. Naturally when told it involved stopping Crumpf they were happy to help. Nothing too long to avoid suspicion but long enough for us to get there in my department's jet."

Oh, a ride for the lucky team on the Jet, Jeremy and Sinclair thought.

Though I hear she's stripped it down to the essentials to save public money, Sinclair sighed,

"So do we have people there to grab Morene?" Hocken asked, intently. "Cause I'd like to be there when they do."

"We do but have one thing more…" Marjorie noted. The others, Ed, Frank Drebbin, the lovely, partially, temporarily, recovered Edna Hocken, Jeremy, Sinclair among them eyeing her.

"The agent they kidnapped. Though we can't directly communicate we not only can track her using the device Morene himself worked on, I'm told by here…" she indicated Sym from the team that had worked on the Crumpf agent occupying poor agent Terry's skull, who nodded. "…that we can send a signal that should basically alert her to our monitoring and if she's drugged or unconscious, wake her mind from anything they're using on her."

"Isn't that dangerous for her?" Edna noted, a bit tentatively. "If this 'Morene' learns she's in touch with you?" Anxious look to Ed, who eyed her sympathetically.

Frank briefly struggling to repress the thought…Is strange she never came on to me?, eyeing Edna briefly, managing a sympathetic smile.

I mean, no offense Janey, just naturally curious...Edna slept her way during her holey brain period through most of Ed's and my pals.

I mean, just…The Director of Presidential Security herself finds me…Interesting.

"We'll be very careful. We don't want Morene to try anything, including killing himself and others on that flight." Marjorie noted to the worried Edna. "We'll only try the stimulation signal when the plane is on the tarmac and the passengers have deboarded."

Edna nodding…

"So, Frank…" Marjorie turned to him.

I mean, not that I'd ever even consider…Frank thought.

But what am I, chopped liver?

"Frank?" Marjorie tried again. The others eyeing him.

"Hmmn? Oh, yes. Great plan." Frank noted.

"Well, that's just the start…I want you to come with my team…And Ed…To Vancouver. And Edna, if you still feel you want to assist use…?"

"Fight the Nazis who punched holes in my brain and turned me into super slut…Though you know I love the kids, honey?" she turned to Ed.

"Of course, so do I." Ed patting her hand. "But Madam Director…" he addressed Marjorie. "I don't want Edna to take any risks. Just what do you want her to do?"

She might try answering a few questions, Frank thought.

Ok, that wasn't right…But, just speaking from a general perspective…A guy likes to know, ya know?

"I want her to be there when we take down Morene and help him escape." Marjorie noted. The others eyeing her, Edna blinking. "If she's willing…"

…

The Lair…Section of the main lab complex but away from Crumpf's "quarters".

Mabuse peering through glass of another tank at his two latest test subjects…Well, at least, part of them.

"Good morning ladies…" he addressed his headset microphone, eyeing the two floating brains suspended from cables in the tank and the eye stalk units now focusing on him.

"You f-ing maniac! What have you done ta me?! You…Ohhhhhhh." Ms. Pea Green's brain's speaker rumbled, as Mabuse, giggling, pressed a button on the wall control panel.

"Good, Ms. Pea Green?" giggle.

"Oooohhhhhh. More, more! Oh, please, more!"

"If you cooperate, you get more, my dear."

"You…Stupid little…OOOOhhhhh! Good, sooo g-g-good!" Moan on loudspeaker.

"Yes." Mabuse noted. "I'm sure, but from now on you must use the magic word. Can you guess the word, dear?" giggle.

"…f…f…"

"No, not quite. You'll have to try harder. You fellow subject knows it, don't you dear?"

"Yes, yes, Dr. Mabuse. Pleasseee…" Eager chirp from another loudspeaker. "Please?! I'm ready to work."

"That's good, dear." Mabuse intoned.

"You…Wuss…" Pea Greene's speaker. "Do you know what this perv creep has done to us?"

"Now, now. Ms Pea Greene." Mabuse, a bit sternly. "Everything done was sanctioned by the Leader and his Deputy, for the greater good of the Cause. Or, Subject P, as you should get used to your new name."

"This is Subject B. Right, Dr. Mabuse." Eager tone from the other loudspeaker.

"Yes, very good." Mabuse, indulgently. "You get a treat." Pressing button.

"Oooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh, yes! Yes, yes, good! B is a good girl. Oooohhhh…gggggooodd! B is Dr. Mabuse's good girl."

"Wuss! You're better off dead." Subject P noted on her speaker.

"Hardly dead, per se." Mabuse, frowning.

Does no one appreciate the medical and scientific skill involved here? Either it's all moral indignation, or, like the Deputy and the Leader himself, despite benefitting, they get all casual about it.

But do people reflect on the triumph of Science when they turn on a shower or a light bulb?

"You f-ing…" P resumed.

"P, you oughtn't to talk to the Doctor that way." B, sighing on speaker.

"F-you, you cheap lil' tramp!"

"No, she oughtn't. Subject P." Mabuse noted coldly, though with giggle.

I mean, hell, she knew we were Nazis when she signed on…Did she think we were Hogan's Heroes' Nazis?

This generation, rotted by decades of TV and worse, he shook head.

"In addition to pleasure reward, there is also…B?" He addressed the other jarred brain.

"Punishment! Yeah, punish her, Dr. Mabuse!" eagerly vicious. "Always hated her, pretending she was closer to der crumpfrer and smarter than me, always pushin' me out of the spotlight, the blonde bitch! Get her!"

"You lil'…! Arrrraaaauuuggahhh! Stop, stop! Arrrauughhh!" Subject P groaned on speaker as Mabuse pressed button, giggling.

What? Eyeing us. I'm a Nazi.

...

Same time, the rather modest office of the Deputy Leader, on the reception level…

"So, ladies," Banner smiled at the two "congresswomen" eyeing him. "You feel well enough to return to Washington? Naturally, you won't resume your duties for a few days while you complete your recovery. But you feel you can deal with such friends and what family you may encounter? As well as any curious media types poking about, asking questions?"

"Just took a brief 'rejuvenation' vacation, as we each told the press on leaving DC, Deputy Leader." Pea Greene, or at least her body, noted firmly. "Fortunately I have only a lover in town and I had told him by phone text it's over before I came to the Lair. My children are with their father back home for now and my mother is back home also while I'm away. But I am ready and briefed to deal with them, of course." Nod of head.

"As am I, Deputy Banner." The other noted firmly.

"Good. Just remember your training and ease into your new roles. And don't reveal your new motivations and intentions or your new-found intelligence too quickly. Though you can begin as soon as practicable to forge new and bipartisan ties with your colleagues in Congress. Remember your claim is you've decided to work with President Wilson and her party to build rather than pursue negative principles. It may take some convincing but I am sure you're both up to the challenge. But be careful also to maintain ties to those weakling so-called conservatives of your own party, explaining that you are merely attempting to divide the others when you must. Check in by the means arranged as soon as you can safely and we will arrange to acquire more of your colleagues to join our team as practical."

"Yes, Deputy Leader." Both nodded.

"I'm sure it will be a marvelous dawn of bipartisanship in DC." Banner smiled. "Safe journey, ladies. And, ladies?" slightly apologetic.

The two pausing to turn fully back to him.

"Mind how you dress for the first weeks. Remember both your hosts tended to dress 'American Heartland'…" slight grimace.

Matisse, just outside the open door, slight wry smile…

You? Rumpled of the Bailey? Lecturing on dress?

Nodding to the two leaving as they nodded to him as they passed. "Congresswomen."

"Matisse?" Banner called him in from his desk. "Something to report?"

"Just that all is now in place for 'Operation Deadwood', Deputy."

"Excellent." Banner nodded. "And all equipment, and of course our Leader, can be shipped out at a moment's notice?"

"And will be, well ahead of the Americans." Matisse nodded. "As is your own escape…"

"Fine, fine, but we must give them a good fight." Banner noted, beaming. "Can't let it seem too easy a win."

"I suppose…But Americans are used to easy victories." Matisse sniffed.