She squirms in my arms for a bit, as she always does when embarrassed, before stilling and returning the embrace. This wasn't the quick, one armed 'congrats' or 'well-done' shared between some of the friendlier Kamikaze's; this wasn't the folded warmth of ... of her when I was promoted at the casino before ...everything.
My still flesh heart squeezes as I look at her; my little sister, oh so vibrant, so curious, so full of life...
'Look after her Jun', Mom said, long ago after watching a particularly brutal news report. She was pensive, looking over at her energetic daughter and exasperated but amused husband, off in their own little world. 'When something happens to us, you keep her safe, yeah?'.
She was so quiet, so hesitant when she awoke in the hospital. I had hoped that the suffocating silence at home would lift with her safely back, and eventually it did, but those first few days, when she stared at me with uncomprehending real eyes... Forgive me for letting you down.
There was blood on my hands. In this ever-waking city, where danger stalks in every back-ally, everyone has a body count. The attack at my job was inevitable but we were young, invincible; Together, we were going to the top! Together! That's all I whispered, demanded, begged... mourned as her usually sure grip slackened. Forgive me for letting you down.
She looked so small in that fighting pit. A macabre canvas of natural crimsons, synthetic greys and eye-catching purples. I remember the groaning, the whimpering as I carried her from that damnable place; the fighting still heavy.
At least this time, she was awake; thank all that was divine in this gods forsaken world. Forgive me for letting you down again.
I strengthened my hug around my sister, my most special little sister. Guess I'm not strong enough. Not yet.
Shoot your shot, Mokoto, go as far as you can and should you fall I will make this city burn for you.
As a brother, as an Oni should.
Right, Mom?