[...ZIGGURAT LIVESTREAM MARKETING DIVISION…]
[...SELECTING LIVESTREAM FOR ONLINE ADVERTISEMENT…]
[...KEY_PERFORMANCE_INDICATORS FUNCTION ACTIVE…]
[...UPDATING LIVESTREAM SELECTION…]
[...LIVESTREAM PATCH/BATCH/2501 SELECTED…]
[...TOP LIVESTREAM BASED ON KEY_PERFORMANCE_INDICATORS…]
[...SELECTING THE_MOTOSHOW…]
[...ANALYZING…]
[...SELECTING RAND EPISODE FOR ANALYSIS…]
===
Excerpt from Episode 69 (Nice) of "The Motoshow" with first time guest Hayato Nakagawa
===
"Testing, testing, are we online yet?...Oh shoot, yep we are!" Motoko hurriedly scrambled to her purple gamer throne and quickly gave a blazing smile to the camera.
"Sup ghosties! It's your girl and welcome back to the best livestream on this vast and infinite net! I'm your favorite host Motoko and welcome to the Motoshow!"
Nearby party poppers shot purple confetti into the air and the famed neon sign in the backdrop turned on to bathe the studio in its light. Her catchy theme song started playing in the background.
The host quickly brought out her blocky homemade soundboard and physically clicked the wild applause button. It was tacky as hell but her core audience preferred it like that - they actually complained when she tried to do something more seamless early on in the show's history and "soundboard-san" became just another character of the stream.
Motoko merrily cheered along with the track and she grabbed the show's purple laptop (ordained in ghost and seashell stickers) to check the many tabs on the monitor.
"Okay chat, we got a big list of topics for today's show, but first…let's introduce our esteemed guest for the evening!"
Motoko gleefully took out a white oriental paper fan that had the Japanese rising sun on it. She covered her face with it and then waved it around to look mysterious but mostly it appeared like she was having a seizure. "Our guest was born in the misty mountains of greater Nippon…where common iron is hammered a thousand times to forge superior Yamato steel…"
A angry feminine cough was heard in the background but Motoko gamely ignored it.
"...she killed a tiger with her bare hands at the age of 6 and was thus accepted into her ninja clan. She only eats uncooked rice and bathes daily in the blood of her enemies…"
"C…Cease with your prattle! I refuse to be mocked by the likes of you!" An angry voice called out. A hand appeared on camera and desperately tried to grab the fan but Motoko easily avoided the grasping with an evil grin before abruptly stopping.
"Okay fine, it's Hayato-chan everyone! You guys keep asking to see her after all my stories so here she is!" Motoko allowed the blushing Hayato to grab the fan which she proceeded to angrily throw at the far wall. The camera shifted to show the yakuza princess humphing as she crossed her arms.
Motoko simply smiled and politely ignored her guest's grumpiness. Kerenzikov's man, not even once.
"For those not in the know, Hayato-chan is my sparring partner in the local gym I go to all the time. She doesn't like to admit it because she's a huge tsundere, but she's one of my bestest chooms in the whole wide world and happily volunteered to attend my live stream…" Motoko intentionally emphasized the last part which made Hayato scowl harder.
"How dare you - ahem…" The yakuza heiress coughed to give herself a moment to control herself before she did something she'd regret in front of thousands of witnesses. "Kusanagi, I would appreciate it if you didn't call me that in public."
Motoko stared at her unflinchingly and Hayato grimaced. "...Please." She added through gritted teeth. Motoko smiled and nodded.
What she couldn't reveal to her dear listeners under "pain of death" (Motoko mentally rolled her eyes) was that her self-proclaimed rival lost an unplanned janken match of all things and as punishment was forced to become a co-star for the night. Seriously, Hayato had no idea just how lucky she was - Motoko could have been much meaner if she wanted and being a guest star on the Motoshow was an honor few in Night City ever got to experience.
The Gamer knew from the start that Hayato would be a sourpuss about the whole affair and would do her best not to have any fun on the show which is exactly why Motoko wanted her to attend. One, having a tsundere co-star would be hilarious and a nice change of pace. Two, Hayato really needed to take that stick out of her ass and hours of silly entertainment could do the trick.
"Okay, so we got a full show tonight chooms! First, because I know how excited you guys are about this, we got our patented Meme Stream Power Hour! As per normal, I will force myself to rate memes made by my wonderful community and give it a thumbs up or down. But remember, anything graphic will earn an instant kick and repeat offenses will result in bans - FYI I'm an elite netrunner so alt accounts won't work on me so don't say I didn't warn you!"
Her chat went wild but her co-star was less enthused.
Hayato grimaced. "Really, you're going to view chaff made by your…audience? Why would you subject yourself to such idiocy?"
Motoko blinked and her face grew completely serious. She leaned in uncomfortably close to Hayato and threw her arm over her shoulders. "You have much to learn from sensei about the ways of the net, young grasshopper."
"S…sensei?! You?!" Hayato barked back in absolute indignation. 'Sheesh Hayato, just let me have this!' thought an exasperated Motoko in reply.
[TIME ELAPSED: 61 MINUTES]
"Hahaha oh shit, thanks for that video yummytummy! Instant thumbs up!" The netrunner barely spoke out in the midst of her laughter as the final video of the Power Hour showed some poor driver ramming her flaming car into a biotechnica ice cream truck.
Motoko's face hurt from laughing. It seems like her chat got offended by Hayato's lack of faith in them and they responded with some of the dankest memes Motoko has ever seen in her life. Night City might be a miserable shithole, but that also meant the local dark humor was absolutely top notch. Even Hayato seemed to loosen up a bit during some of the videos that even she found humorous.
"Ahem, well that might have been one of the best meme streams we've ever had! I'm so proud of my ghosties!" Motoko gushed towards her nearly overflowing chat. 12,000+ accounts screeching for attention was pretty hectic and Motoko could barely read the waterfall of texts and emojis on the chat window.
Hayato suddenly frowned in annoyance. "Must you call them that?"
"Huh?" Motoko replied dumbly.
"Your audience. Ghosties. It's incredibly condescending. I would never tolerate receiving such an idiotic moniker." She added in derision.
Motoko scowled in annoyance. Seriously, why did all her guests have to comment on that? "It's a term of endearment! You know, it shows that I appreciate their attention and patronage. There are thousands of livestreams on Ziggurat and yet my ghosties loyally come to mine. I think I earned the right to claim some loose ownership over them as their chosen net goddess." Motoko added the last part pompously for comedic effect.
Hayato, surprisingly, became contemplative instead of making another snarky comment. "I think I understand your viewpoint, but in your position I would have given them a more respectable title. In any proper Japanese business, it's said that the customer is a god. This is one of the reasons why our corporations have such a large influence over this planet and why your American corporations have fallen so low from their previous positions as world hegemons." Hayato gave a confident smirk after she finished.
Motoko blinked. 'Wow', she thought. 'Hayato is even more sheltered than I thought.'
There were so many things factually wrong with her final statement that the host didn't know where to start, but Motoko was smart enough to realize that getting into an argument about geopolitics and Cyberpunk lore wouldn't make for good stream material. However, she could use the first part as a peace offering.
"How about this, I'll set up a poll and let my chat decide what I should call them. As long as it isn't anything too crass, I'll allow it." She replied charitably.
Hayato blinked and the start of a true smile suddenly appeared on her face. Motoko had to force herself not to squeal. Hayato-chan was shockingly cute when she wasn't scowling all the time!
Evidently her chat agreed:
"WTF she's so cute suddenly! "
"our goddess has tamed the tsundere"
"Of course, our net goddess can tame anyone "
"Our goddess's abilities to charm truly are vast and infinite"
"Sasuga Kusanagi-sama!"
"damn I ship it"
"So do I. The Yakuzaghost ship has launched."
"The prophecy has been fulfilled. Soon all will join the Motoko-sweep 🙏"
"Motoko-sweep!"
"Motoko-sweep!"
Hayato blinked in confusion. "Kusanagi, why is your chat talking about ships and sweeping? Is this one of your 'memes'?"
Motoko's cheeks flushed hotly. Dammit, why was her chat so thirsty all the time? Time to change the subject before Hayato realizes the truth and all hell breaks loose.
"Yep, that's exactly what it is!" Motoko agreed loudly. "My community has a lot of internal jokes we like to repeat all the time. Silly things like some of the weird things my BD's have caught without me noticing, my completely justified hatred of XXL burritos, the fact that I never talk about my choom V…"
"Who's V?" Hayato asked innocently.
Thank you Hayato-chan for the topic shift!
"That's actually kinda the joke. I have a choom that only wants to be called "V" and I never talk about her. She's a private person and I try to respect that." Motoko happily explained.
Hayato started showing a strange series of expressions before finally ending with quiet confusion mired with something else. Motoko blinked in confusion herself. What did she say that caused Hayato to think so hard?
"I…I must admit that you are more gifted than me when it comes to creating allies, Kusanagi. Your charisma is nothing short of…astonishing." Hayato forced out with a blushing, pained expression. Holy crap, did Hayato just give her a compliment?
"Aww, thanks Hayato-chan! That's so sweet!" Motoko gushed happily. Bonding via memes was working baby!
"The fact that you would go out of your way to befriend and protect the identity of a joytoy reveals a lot about your… admittedly noble character." Hayato commented shyly.
"Yep, that right, aren't I the grea…wait what?"
They paused their conversation to look at each other. Hayato scoffed gently at Motoko's unblinking stare.
"V…she's obviously a prostitute you met during your adventures in Mox territory and aided in some manner. I mean, with that name, what else could she be?"
"Eh?"
Hayato began to grow uncomfortable at Motoko's unexpected reaction which made her angrily double down on her allegation. "Y..you know, like V is her street name! She probably goes around demanding she be called "Madam V" or "Mistress V" - we had similar figures in Japan like "Lady M" or "Matron O" - what's so damn funny?!"
"...Pfft!"
Hayato was beginning to have some serious doubts about what she just said as Motoko calmly covered her mouth with her hands and began to shake violently with repressed laughter.
The host eventually stopped, but not before showing off an incredibly evil smile.
"I think it's time for another poll!"
===
[...ANALYSIS COMPLETE…]
[...CONTENT REPORT SENT TO SYSADMIN FOR FINAL APPROVAL…]
[...APPROVAL GRANTED…]
[...CONTENT APPROVED FOR ONLINE ADVERTISING PROGRAM…]
[SYSADMIN NOTE: V does sound like name for a joytoy now that i think about it]
[ANALYSIS COMPLETE]
===
Time: 2 days after the stream
Location: Badlands
Mission Type: Stakeout
The silence in the parked car was so thick you could almost swim in it. Jackie quietly tinkered with his pistol while V's posture in the driver's seat was so stiff her every movement seemed to audibly let out cracks like a tree in the wind. Her hands were gripping the steering wheel so tightly it was white as bone.
'Nuestra Santa Madre, please give me strength.' Jackie thought to himself desperately. He couldn't take much more of this.
"So!" He finally let out in a rush. V didn't move a muscle or make any signs that she heard him.
"Um, nice weather we're having. Not a cloud in the sky! Muy bien, right?" Jackie almost asked imploringly. He knew that was a stupid thing to say but sue him, he was getting desperate.
"...67 percent Jack. 8,045 said that yes V is a joytoy name and 3,960 said no." V finally uttered out in total monotone.
Jackie cringed. Sure, he laughed about it hard when he first heard about the poll, but now that he was trapped with a self conscious V it was slightly less entertaining.
Also, he was a little afraid of how V might react if she ever found out that he entered the stream just before it ended and voted on the poll as well.
Come on, how could he not?!
"Eh, come on V, it was just a bunch of pendejo teenagers with too much free time." Jackie felt no shame whatsoever metaphorically throwing his name under the bus along with the other voters if that meant it got V off his possible trail.
"Hmm." V grunted in reply.
"Besides, they…I…heard that they considered you a cut above the rest of your average joytoy. Most agreed that you were some kind of…you know what, nevermind. It's not important…"
"Finish it Jackie. What did they call me?" The good news was that some passion finally returned to V's voice. The bad news was that Jackie had found himself in an absolutely horrific position.
Eh, he'll just tell the truth. It's not like V and him hadn't had some incredibly idiotic conversations in the past. What's another to the collection? V's a big girl, she can take it.
"...From what I understand, they agreed that you were probably a 'nontraditional joytoy' and called you a 'dommy mommy' based on the little they knew about you."
Dead silence. A silence so deep and profound that Jackie would swear he could hear the rotation of the planet itself.
"You know, I can kinda see where they are coming from. You do have a certain commanding aura…"
Oh shit why can't he keep his mouth shut.
"Jackie, this conversation is over. We are never talking about this again. Ever."
"See what I mean? Very commanding!"
"Jackie!" V roared in rage.