The Curious Case of the Missing Belongings

by EmergencyMayonnaise

In which the White Rabbit loses his watch and Alice offers to help look for it. The Tweedles fight over a missing rattle, the Queen orders her soldiers to find something but doesn't say what it is, and the Mad Hatter can't have tea until his best teapot is found despite having a table filled with spares. (Originally posted on Archive of Our Own)

One fine day in April, Alice was sitting along the riverbank while reading a book to herself. It belonged to her sister and contained many different poems. As she felt her eyelids starting to grow heavy, Alice stretched her arms out and began to read aloud.

"There was a pig that sat alone

Beside a ruined pump:

By day and night he made his moan—

It would have stirred a heart of stone

To see him wring his hoofs and groan,

Because he could not jump."

Alice tilted her head to the side as she squinted at the words. "I don't think I've ever seen a jumping pig. Unless this one is about when they fly, which I have never witnessed either."

"Oh, dear. Oh, dear. It must be here. It must!"

Alice set the book down and quickly turned her head to the left. The White Rabbit held the sides of his face as he inspected every square inch of the ground in front of him.

"Where oh where could it be?!" cried the Rabbit. "I could've sworn I had it with me when I walked through here earlier!"

"Good day, Mister Rabbit," Alice said as she approached him. "What is it that you are looking for?"

"My watch! It was in my pocket this morning, you see, and when I went to reach for it, it was gone!" The Rabbit's paws trembled as he brought them up to cover his mouth. "How will I know what time it is?! Her majesty will have my head if I'm late!"

"It must have fallen out someplace. Have you tried retracing your steps?"

The White Rabbit pulled out a steel-tipped pen and an inkwell from his waistcoat pocket. "That's what I've been doing, but I've run out of ink." He buried his face into his paws and shook his head. "And now I'm running out of time!"

"Oh, dear," Alice sighed. "Perhaps I could help you look for it? When did you last have your watch?"

The White Rabbit took Alice by the hand and pulled her down the road with him. She staggered and stumbled as she tried to regain her balance while running close behind.

"I was in the Tulgey Wood," the Rabbit huffed as he approached the entrance to the large burrow. "It could be anywhere in there!"

Alice carefully crawled into the rabbit hole as her pink-eyed friend hopped ahead and down the well. "Well, if you have already retraced your steps, then we'll just need to look in all the places you missed. It shouldn't be that difficult to find now that you have two people!"

After reaching the bottom, Alice and the White Rabbit hurried into the woods. They ran for about a minute or two until coming to a screeching halt.

"I didn't!"

"You did!"

Tweedledee and Tweedledum were standing face-to-face in the middle of the path and shouting at the top of their lungs. Tweedledum's face was twisted into a furious snarl and he pointed his index finger in his elder brother's face. Tweedledee held his hands out, palms up, and frantically shook his head.

"You stole it!" Tweedledum shouted.

"Why would I do such a thing?!" Tweedledee retorted.

"Well, it couldn't have just gotten up and left, ya know! You must've done something or else you would have returned it to me like an honest man!"

The two brothers locked eyes with both Alice and the White Rabbit. They each put their hands behind their backs and hung their heads low.

"What on earth are you two fighting about?" Alice questioned.

Tweedledum took a step forward. "I bought a new rattle yesterday, a little white one, and then when I went to take it out, it was gone!" He glared at Tweedledee and pointed at him again. "I know it was you! You've been eyeing that rattle ever since I showed it to you this morning!"

Tweedledee backed up with his hands raised and shook his head again. "I didn't take it! Honest! I've been standing right here beside you this entire time!"

Tweedledum crossed his arms and frowned. "Then you must've taken it when I wasn't looking."

The White Rabbit was rapidly tapping his foot and occasionally standing up on his toes to see the road behind Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Alice took a few steps forward and stood in-between the pair.

"Come now," said Alice. "You can't be accusing others of stealing if you haven't got any evidence. Do you think you might have misplaced it?"

"Perhaps you've got a point." Tweedledum turned to his brother and held his hat in his hand. "I'm sorry. It really wasn't fair of me to jump to conclusions like that."

Tweedledee smiled and patted Tweedledum on the back. "That's alright. I know this rattle means a lot to you. Do you think we should split up to cover more ground?"

"Great idea!" replied Tweedledum. "And you'll help us too, won't you?"

Alice flinched. "W-Well, I already promised the White Rabbit that I'd help him look for his—"

When she turned to her side, Alice gasped at the sight of the vacant space next to her.

"Oh, dear!" Alice exclaimed. "I knew I shouldn't have taken so long!" She let out a small sigh. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to look for one more belonging."

"Great!" the two brothers cheered simultaneously.

"We'll look for the rattle here…" said Tweedledee.

"And you search wherever you think it may be," Tweedledum added.

After Tweedledee and Tweedledum left, Alice resumed her journey to the Tulgey Wood.

"That's the second thing that has gone missing today," Alice mused to herself. "I really hope it's nothing more than a coincidence."

Suddenly, a scream was heard from the sky, becoming louder until stopping with a soft thud. Alice ran up the road and covered her mouth. It was one of the Queen's many heart soldiers, laying perfectly flat on the ground with all his limbs spread out.

"Excuse me!" Alice called. "Are you—"

In a panic, the soldier shouted something incomprehensible before peeling his face away from the grass. Upon seeing Alice, the four of hearts sighed with relief.

"Oh, thank goodness," expressed Four as he gradually stood back up. "For a second there, I thought you were her majesty."

"I'm quite grateful that I'm not her either," Alice remarked. "You're not hurt, are you? What were you doing all the way up in that tree?"

At this very moment, another card soldier, a two of spades, walked over to the pair with his eyes open wide.

"Well?" Two asked with anticipation in his voice.

"Where did you go?!" snapped Four. "You said you were going to spot me!"

"I was until an umbrella vulture swooped down and began chasing me through the woods. Did you see it?"

"No, I didn't, and it still doesn't help that we don't know what we're looking for anyway!"

Alice opened her mouth and put her hands on her hips. "If I'm understanding you correctly, the Queen lost something, sent the two of you to find it, but never said what it was?"

"That's right," said Four. "But not just us. Her majesty ordered everyone to go out and search."

"Knowing the Queen," Alice droned in a frustrated tone. "she's assuming it's been stolen and demanding the culprit be brought to justice."

"No," replied both soldiers.

"Really?!"

"Her majesty never accused anyone of theft," said Four.

"How very strange…" Alice murmured. "Perhaps one of you should go back and ask her what it is?"

"Goodness, no!" Two exclaimed. "If this gives all of us an excuse to take a break from the Queen, then we see no issue with it."

"What we don't know and what she doesn't know can't hurt any of us!" Four twittered as he beamed with glee.

Alice giggled. "Well, if there's a benefit to it all… In that case, I will let you be. Goodbye!"

At last, Alice had reached the Tulgey Wood. An accordion owl was preening his feathers in a tree, a couple of pencil-head birds were playing a game of tic-tac-toe on the ground, and a shovel bill was planting new flowers. Tired from her long walk, Alice sat down on a rock, placed both elbows on her knees, and held her chin in her hands.

"This is a very curious situation indeed," Alice pondered quietly to herself. "If someone really is stealing, then I wonder who it could be and why?"

"Perhaps I may be able to assist?"

Alice jumped from her seat and hastily turned around. There, up in the tree, was a familiar grin floating all by itself above a branch.

Alice smiled brightly. "Oh, Cheshire Cat! Do you know what's causing everyone's things to disappear?"

A pair of yellow eyes joined the grin and stared down at Alice. "Not what, who," said the Cat. "Though I suppose you could refer to it as a what."

As the rest of the Cheshire Cat's body slowly became visible, Alice put her fingers to her forehead and looked down at the ground. "So there is a thief. I was afraid that might be the case."

When Alice glanced back up at the Cheshire Cat, she gasped and covered her mouth. His head, body, and tail were present, but all four of his limbs were missing.

"What a cruel trick!" Alice remarked. "Personal items are one thing, but taking people's arms and legs—"

The Cheshire Cat laughed loudly. "No, I just don't feel like using them at the moment. I'm quite comfortable sitting this way. Would you like to know where the belongings went?"

"Yes, thank you," Alice politely responded.

"So would everyone else." The Cat chuckled as Alice let out a groan of frustration. "However, I can tell you who took them. Have you ever heard of a bandersnatch?"

"I can't say I have, but I suspect it's named that because it's a bandit who snatches things?"

"That's right. It resides here in the woods."

The Cat disappeared from the branch and reappeared on the rock beside Alice, causing her to cry out and jump back a little. All four of his limbs were back and he stood up on his hind legs with his paws in the air.

"It's a ferocious beast with a terribly loud roar. When your back is turned, the bandersnatch sneaks up from behind, takes whatever it thinks is important to you, and hoards it in its tail before running off in a flash."

"I would've never suspected a monster of all things to be responsible for this…" Alice brushed her hair behind her ear and fiddled with it. "Is there a way to catch it?"

"Yes, and it's very difficult," said the Cat. He flopped onto his back and rolled around a little, looking at Alice from upside-down. "Not many people can trap it properly either. But…" The Cheshire Cat rolled onto all four of his feet, rigorously shook his body, and puffed up into a purple and pink ball of fur. "I might know someone who can."

"Who?"

"Remember the Dormouse? He knows more about bandersnatches than anyone. Perhaps you should ask him for advice."

"Then I shall go visit him at once!" Alice declared. "Thank you so much for helping me. Would it be too much to ask if you could keep an eye out for the bandersnatch while I'm gone?"

"I don't see why not." The Cat slowly began to vanish, leaving only his grin behind. "Good luck catching it."

Once the Cheshire Cat had completely disappeared, Alice ran all the way to the house of the March Hare. Right when she placed her hand on the gate, she heard a loud uproar on the other side.

"Oh, this is terrible!" the Hatter lamented as he looked over all the teapots and cups in front of him. "Whatever could've happened to it?!"

"It must've sprouted legs and walked off again," said the March Hare from under the table. "It's the only logical explanation!"

"But then it should be back by now! It always returns on time for tea!" The Hatter brought up his head and locked eyes with Alice. "Ah, please come in! You must help us!"

Alice closed the gate door behind her and approached the table. "Don't tell me you lost something important too! Was it one of your teapots?"

"Yes, and not just any of 'em!" The March Hare crawled out from under the table and dusted off his pants. "Our best teapot has gone missing!"

"The tall one with three spouts!" added the Hatter. "How are we supposed to have tea if it isn't here?!"

Alice's eyes drifted over every single bright and colorful teapot sitting out on the table. She opened her mouth and lifted a finger, but then sighed and put it back down.

"If it doesn't come back soon, there won't be any tea to drink," said the March Hare. "And if there isn't any tea to drink, then we'll have to have something else. And by something else, I mean—"

"Don't say it!" shouted the Hatter.

The Dormouse let out a yawn. "Coffee."

The Hatter and Hare tossed their heads back and screamed loudly.

Alice closed her eyes and covered her face. "Oh, for goodness sake," she mumbled. "If it's any consolation, I think I know what happened to it."

The yelling ceased and the Hatter pulled out one of the chairs. "Well, why didn't you say so?! Please, have a seat!"

Right as Alice sat down, the March Hare parked beside her and held out a plate. "Sponge cake?"

"Don't mind if I do!" Alice said as she took the dessert. "Thank you."

"Now then," the Hatter continued, "would you kindly tell us where our missing teapot ran off to?"

"It didn't run away. It was stolen."

The March Hare and Hatter's eyes were the size of dinner plates. "Stolen?!" they both exclaimed.

"Yes, and it wasn't only your teapot. The Tweedles are missing their rattle, the Queen lost…" Upon realizing the cake was just a regular sponge slathered in chocolate, Alice put it back on the plate. "Uh, something, and the White Rabbit's pocket watch was taken from him as well."

The March Hare shot up from his seat with his mouth agape. "Not the one we gave him!"

The Hatter lowered his head. "It was an unbirthday present…" he mourned. "And a replacement for the watch from last time. It was two days slow, you know."

"And now it might as well be fifty-three years fast! Who would do such a terrible thing?!"

"That's why I came here," said Alice. "It appears to be something called a bandersnatch and the only person who knows how to catch it is the Dormouse."

All three turned their heads towards the snoring teapot on the table. The March Hare grabbed it, took off the lid, and pulled the comatose rodent out by his collar.

"Mister Dormouse," said Alice. "Would you please help us? A bandersnatch has been stealing from everyone and…"

The Dormouse began to snore as he drifted off to sleep again. The Hatter picked up a teapot and poured a small amount on the Dormouse's nose, making his eyes pop open with a loud snort.

"It must be caught with things that begin with M!" the Dormouse blurted out.

Alice winced and blinked a few times. "Why with an M?"

"Why not?" said the March Hare.

"Things that begin with M…" the Dormouse repeated in a sleepy voice. "Such as mousetraps, the moon, and muchness."

"The White Rabbit!" exclaimed the Hatter. "That's the answer!"

"But he doesn't start with an M!" said Alice.

"But he is much too fast! Therefore, the White Rabbit is the solution to our problem!"

"I was informed that the bandersnatch is a frightfully quick creature… Perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad idea to ask him for help."

The March Hare dropped the Dormouse back in the teapot. "Excellent! You go find the White Rabbit and we'll meet you both in the woods."

After she left the tea party, Alice felt her shoulders beginning to rise as she slowly continued along the path.

"It's been an awfully long time since I've come through here," Alice said in a low voice as she reluctantly entered the hedge maze. "I really hope I don't run into that dreadfully savage Queen again. I'll just find the White Rabbit and go about my way."

Alice peeked her head into the garden, which was completely empty except for the White Rabbit. He was inspecting the base of a red rose tree, but when he caught sight of Alice, his ears stood straight up and his pink eyes bugged out of their sockets.

"Mister Rabbit—"

"Oh, hush!" The White Rabbit looked around before sprinting over to Alice. "Don't let the Queen hear you."

"Is she still mad about last time?" Alice whispered into his ear. "What happened after I escaped?"

"Be thankful you weren't there. Nobody had ever seen her majesty that upset before. Did you find my watch?"

"No, but I know how to get it back. If you would kindly follow me, I will tell you along the—"

"What are you doing here?!"

There, to Alice and the White Rabbit's left, was the Queen of Hearts in all her angry glory. She had her hands on her hips and was glaring at Alice in particular.

The White Rabbit timidly took a step forward. "Please, your majesty, I-I can explain—"

"I don't care for your explanation!" barked the Queen. "How was that girl able to get past the guards?!"

"B-B-Because you ordered all of them to go out and search for—"

"So why didn't you do something?!"

The White Rabbit's mouth fell open. "Ah… I'm the royal herald! What could I have possibly done?!"

With a disgruntled groan, the Queen scowled and slumped her shoulders before turning her back on the pair. "I can't believe this," she grumbled, gradually becoming louder and angrier as she went on. "We doubled all the guards, have been waiting here for months, and the one time she shows up!"

"Perhaps if you had told them what to look for," said Alice, "then they would have been back by now. What did you lose anyway?"

"That's no business of yours!"

Alice let out a sigh and faced the White Rabbit again. "As I was saying, it appears a bandersnatch may have taken your watch along with the Tweedle's rattle and the Hatter's best teapot. Now, according to the Dormouse, we will need someone who is very fast in order to catch it."

"And you're here because that person is me." The White Rabbit cleared his throat. "If I may, your majesty—"

"Fine!" the exasperated Queen interjected as she continued to sulk. "Just keep her as far away from here as possible." She flicked her hand at the White Rabbit, as if telling him to leave. "Bring her back later and she can lose her head then."

"Thank you for understanding, your majesty," Alice said in a polite tone. "I promise we won't be gone for very long."

Right when Alice and the White Rabbit made their way to the garden's exit, the Queen folded her arms and tilted her head a little.

"Wait a minute…" the Queen muttered with suspicion. "If the guards have been gone for several hours and I never told them what to look for, what have they been doing this entire time?!"

"How should I know?" Alice stated boldly with a shrug. "It's no business of mine."

The Queen's eyes widened with fury upon hearing this, and right before she could tear after her, both Alice and the White Rabbit had fled.

Back in the Tulgey Wood, the Hatter, the March Hare, and both Tweedles were crowded in a circle underneath a tree. As Alice and the White Rabbit approached the group, the four of them all held their arms up at the same time.

"Wait!"

Alice and the White Rabbit stopped and looked down at their feet, completely nonplussed by what was in front of them.

"What's with the toast?" the White Rabbit asked Alice. "Is that part of the plan?"

"I'm not sure." Alice bent down and took a closer look. "There is something spread on top of it."

"It's marmalade!" remarked Tweedledum. "The Dormouse did say we needed something that started with an M, so we decided to bring it along for bait."

Alice wrinkled her brow at the toast. "It already has a bite in it…"

The Hatter laughed. "Sorry! I got a little snackish."

Suddenly, a horribly loud sound shook the entire Tulgey Wood, causing the whole group to quickly hide in the bushes. As the plants trembled along with their terrified occupants, the Cheshire Cat appeared on a branch directly above them and looked down.

"Looks like we have some company," said the Cat. "Whoever it is seems to be very close by."

"The toast!" the March Hare exclaimed in a low voice. "Keep your eyes on the toast!"

Alice and the others stared at the bait as they waited. Five minutes passed by, then ten, and finally twenty, but the bandersnatch was nowhere in sight. All that could be heard was the awful noise coming from deeper in the woods.

"Sounds like a train," said Tweedledee.

"It sounds like snoring," Alice whispered.

"Now why would a train be sleeping in the woods?" asked the Hatter.

"I'm not sure, but I'd love to know its locomotives," joked the March Hare.

The Hatter and Hare laughed; everyone else shushed them both.

"Look!" cried Tweedledum as he pointed to the road. "The toast is gone!"

Sure enough, the plate that once held the piece of half-eaten bait was completely empty. Not even a crumb was left behind.

The White Rabbit was shaking from fear. "Now what do we do?"

"Whatever it is, it couldn't be that far from here," said the Cheshire Cat. "How about one of you go over there and see what's making that sound?"

"Maybe it's the bandersnatch who's snoring," said Tweedledum. "It must be taking a nap!"

"Then it shouldn't be too hard to catch!" Alice proclaimed. "Mister Rabbit, you're our only hope. Sneak up on the bandersnatch, and once you're close enough—"

"Hit it on the head with this stick!" The March Hare handed the White Rabbit a small but thick tree branch.

"I was going to suggest taking everything back without waking it, but I suppose knocking it unconscious works too." Alice put her hand on the White Rabbit's shoulder. "Good luck, and do be careful!"

With the branch in his paws, the White Rabbit slowly took several shaky steps towards the source of the sound. When he reached an area that was covered in large bushes, he froze. The White Rabbit anxiously waited in silence until the loud sound caught him by surprise. He jumped, dropped the stick, and bolted all the way back to the others.

"I can't do it!" The White Rabbit dove into the bushes again. "I'm far too timid for a task like this!"

The Cheshire Cat chuckled from his perch. "Maybe you should choose someone who is a bit braver."

Everyone stared at Alice.

"Me?!" Alice exclaimed. "Why?!"

"Well, you did stop by to get me despite the Queen being there," mentioned the White Rabbit. "Not many people are brave enough to be around her, especially after what happened last time."

"You also stepped in the middle of our argument earlier today," added Tweedledee.

"We both could have picked a fight with you, but you decided to help us anyway!" Tweedledum beamed happily. "And, boy, are we glad you did!"

"That sounds more like recklessness, if you ask me," Alice stated.

"Look at you!" praised the Hatter. "Even when everyone is commending you for your courage, you still manage to be humble!"

The Cheshire Cat grinned at Alice. "I believe the jury has reached a verdict."

Alice lifted her chin and put her hands on her hips. "Really? I thought there was supposed to be a sentence first."

"Then we sentence you to confront the bandersnatch!" announced the March Hare. "And don't worry! If none of us hear back from you in about thirty minutes, we'll all run off to get help."

"How very reassuring," Alice said as she stood up and straightened out her dress.

The others stayed behind and watched as Alice disappeared into the bushes. One of the trees had an awfully loud sound coming from the other side. Alice picked up the branch, put her back against the trunk of the tree, and gradually looked behind it.

"Wait, that's not a bandersnatch! That's…"

The owner of the awful snoring was none other than the King of Hearts, who was fast asleep against the base of the tree.

"I'm afraid he'll catch a cold lying on the damp grass." Alice crouched beside the King and gently shook his shoulder. "Your majesty! Your majesty!"

The King yawned, stretched, rubbed his eyes, and gave Alice a sleepy smile. When he realized who was next to him, his look of content quickly turned into one of panic. "Oh!" he exclaimed as he frantically scooted away from Alice. "Wh-What are you doing here?!"

"I was about to ask you the same question," Alice replied. "Why are you sleeping in the woods?"

"But… But this isn't the woods! It's…" The King looked around and noticed all the bushes and trees surrounding the two of them. "Oh, dear… How did this happen? Did you bring me here?"

"I did not. Where were you before you fell asleep?"

"I was sitting against a rose tree in the garden! I shut my eyes to take a nap and now I'm in the woods! Were you sent to find me?"

"I'm here because a bandersnatch has been stealing from everyone. The White Rabbit lost his watch, the Tweedles can't find their rattle, the Hatter's best teapot is missing, and I have no idea what the Queen is looking for but she ordered all her guards to search for it."

The King's eyes widened and he smiled a little. "She did?"

"Yes! She refuses to tell anyone what she lost but it must be very important…" Alice was silent for a moment then also began to smile. "Oh!"

"There you are!"

A ways behind the two of them, the Queen knocked every bush and plant out of her way until she stood beside Alice.

"What is the meaning of this?!" panted the Queen. "I turn my back for five minutes and you disappear for half the day!"

The King raised his eyebrows. "Have I really been gone that long?"

"Yes! It's been hours! What—" The Queen glared at Alice, who was standing too close to her, and bumped the little girl away with her hip. "What are you doing all the way out here?!"

The King put his hand to his mouth and thought for a second. "Well, um… I'm not exactly sure, but I think a bandersnatch may have had something to do with it. They like to steal important things from people, so perhaps it was confused. You should be thanking Alice though, my dear. She's the one who found me."

The Queen crossed her arms and tossed her head aside. "Hmph. Fat chance."

"She also says you've been searching all over for me. Is that true?"

The Queen's usual irritable expression shifted to one that was shy and submissive. She nodded slightly.

"Thank you for going through all that trouble to find me, my dear. I hope I didn't frighten you too much."

Hearing this made the Queen smile and blush, but when she caught sight of Alice giggling, her face flushed bright red and she quickly turned away.

"And I must be thanking you as well," the King said to Alice. "Both of us appreciate your help. Isn't that right, my dear?"

There was no response from the Queen who still had her back to the pair. The King walked in front of his wife and gently tugged at her dress, causing her to look down at him for a brief moment. She became flushed again and let out a small scream as she hid her face in her hands.

"Eek! Yes! Thank you! That's enough!"

As the two disappeared into the woods, Alice could still hear them conversing back and forth with each other.

"I still can't believe you get like this after all these years!" the King said with a laugh.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," argued the Queen.

"Yes, you do! You're doing it right now!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are! Please don't hide your face, my dear. I think it's cute!"

After the reunited couple could no longer be heard, Alice started to giggle again. "Though I doubt she would ever admit it, it seems the Queen does care about other people. I guess she isn't as awful as I thought."

"Well that's one king-sized problem solved."

The Cheshire Cat was sitting above Alice in a tree with his head resting on his paws.

"Did you find any of the missing things?" asked the Cat.

"I'm afraid not," Alice confessed. "I was really hoping I would stumble across at least one of them."

The other five rejoined Alice and crowded around her, eagerly awaiting her response.

Alice shook her head and frowned. "I'm terribly sorry, but the noise we heard earlier wasn't a bandersnatch at all. I'm not sure what to do from here."

Everyone went quiet from disappointment. During the silence, the White Rabbit briefly glanced at something and his eyes widened.

"Wait a minute!" The White Rabbit ran into one of the bushes and picked the object up. "What's this?!"

Tweedledum gasped as the White Rabbit held his paw in the air. "My rattle!" he cried before grabbing ahold of it. "You found it!"

"It isn't broken, is it?" asked Tweedledee.

Tweedledum shook his hand and spun the rattle around. "Nope! Still works just as well as it did before I lost it!"

The Hatter pointed at something walking out of the bushes. "Our teapot!"

A large orange teapot with three spouts and a pair of legs ran towards Alice.

"Quick!" shouted the March Hare. "Catch it before it runs off!"

Alice picked up the teapot by the handle and watched its legs wildly flail about. "How very curious!"

The Hare took the teapot and removed its lid. As he inspected the inside of it, the teapot pulled in its legs and tucked them under its base.

"Well?" said the Hatter. "Is it alright?"

The March Hare put the lid back on the teapot. "Let's find out!"

The Hatter removed his hat, revealing a tea cup, and had the March Hare pour some tea into it. After drinking the entire thing in one go, the Hatter stared blankly into space.

"Oh, dear!" cried Alice. "What's the matter with him?"

"Looks like he's frozen," guessed the March Hare. "It must've cooled off so much that it turned into iced tea."

"Delicious!" the Hatter suddenly blurted out, startling both Alice and the March Hare. "Why, it even tastes better than before it went missing!"

"Perhaps we should let it get lost more often!" the March Hare suggested.

"I'd rather you didn't…" droned Alice.

"My watch!" cried the White Rabbit. He exited the bushes with the contraption in his paw and a huge smile on his face. "I found it! And it still works just fine!"

"I'm so happy for all of you!" Alice rejoiced. "Everything has finally been recovered!"

"None of it would've been possible without your help, ya know," said Tweedledee.

"If you didn't offer to assist any of us," added Tweedledum, "we would still be missing our rattle."

"And my watch," said the White Rabbit.

"And the teapot would have run off to a different location!" remarked the Hatter.

"That only leaves one final question," mentioned the Cheshire Cat. "If the snoring belonged to the King, then whatever could've happened to that piece of toast?"

The group pondered quietly over this for a long time. Each of them exchanged confused looks with one another and then shrugged simultaneously.

"Maybe it would be best not to think about it," said Alice. The others nodded unanimously.

"Let's all go back to my place for some tea!" suggested the March Hare.

While the six of them were walking away, nobody noticed a pair of eyes in the bushes. Once they were gone, a blue creature with a long snout, purple hair, and a butterfly net for a tail emerged from the greenery while munching on a piece of toast.

The End

Author's Note: The poem at the beginning, an excerpt from "The Pig-Tale," is from Phantasmagoria, which was also written by Lewis Carroll.

Special thanks to The_Lavender_Creator, Partysol, and DahjEt_666 for beta reading this piece!