Best wedding ever

Cloud played with the ring in his hand. It was a plain silver band. He still hadn't made his mind about it. Tifa watched it.

"Still can't decide?"

"Honestly? I'm surprised Zack asked me at all. He and Aerith would make a great couple, but, well…"

"They decided to remain friends. I understand."

"It's been five years."

Tifa had to agree. To learn her best friend/childhood crush had spent those years in Hojo's hands, being tinkered on until he was as good as his SOLDIER friend, had only increased her fury toward Shinra. Yeah, joining Avalanche had been the right decision.

Eventually, Cloud closed his eyes and slipped the ring on his ungloved finger. Tifa smiled.

"Couldn't have worked anyway. We're too alike."

"Maybe. Though I still held my promise, in the end."

"You did." The woman kissed his hand. "My hero."

Zack and Aerith entered the Seventh Heaven a few moments later. The blonde turned to him and waved his hand. The brunette's face lit up.

"Finally! I love you, Spiky."

"Love you too, Zack." Cloud smiled as they shared a kiss.

Tifa and Aerith shared a knowing smile.

"So, when's the wedding?"

-VII-

As it turned, planning a proper wedding took time and effort, especially in the slums. It would happen in the Sector 5 church, naturally. There was a bit of argument about who would officiate the wedding until Aerith decided to be it. Next argument was who would be best man – no, bride of honor – no, wait, they were both men. How did it even work?

It was Tifa who decided it didn't matter. She would be Cloud's best woman and whoever wanted the spot was free to challenge her. She could use the workout. Cissnei, who had hurried to Midgar upon hearing of Zack's survival, decided she would fulfil the role for him and issued the same challenge. She was, after all, an ex-Turk. Nobody argued. Rather, they found it fitting that a wedding between two men would have a couple of best women.

The next step was getting proper outfits. And this is where things got funny.

"Are you serious?" Madam M glared. "I may like you, Andrea, but I have no patience for –"

"It will work, my dear. Don't worry, Don Corneo will fall for it hook, line and sinker. It helps that one of the grooms is fair indeed."

Chocobo Sam snickered.

"I'm in. I wanna see the sleazy bastard's face when he realizes whose wedding he just crashed!"

Madam M chuckled behind her fan.

"Right, one of the grooms is an ex-SOLDIER and his best woman used to be a Turk. You know, Andrea, when put like this, your plan might actually work."

"It will, my dear. Trust me, it will."

"Then let us get started."

This was how Zack and Cissnei – since Tifa had dragged Cloud away to get his own outfit – ended fighting a house-shaped mechanical abomination that came with way too many missiles, a beehive barrier and rocket propulsion to get himself the spiffy tux that was the prize. Scotch and Kotch, meanwhile, were having the time of their lives.

"Just try and call this house warm and inviting now! We dare ya! We double-dog dare ya!"

Zack smirked and faced the mech.

"Aw, what a warm and inviting place!"

He had to dodge chairs moments later. Cissnei rolled her eyes.

"Nice bit of humor, but could you please not provoke the angry flying machine!?"

The pair delivered a combined assault that took two of the machine's limbs. Scotch whistled.

"The lovebirds are going hard at the house, but they'll have to do better than that if they want to razethisroof!"

Cissnei laughed.

"I'm not the one getting married. Zack is. I'm just his best woman!"

They did beat the hellish house, in the end. The tux was very nice and fit Zack like a glove. Cissnei approved.

"Perfect. I wonder what Cloud will end up in."

"Most likely the same in white."

Cloud, meanwhile, after considerable prodding and kicking himself for being unable to say no to Tifa, had ended making a liar of himself. Indeed, it turned out he could dance perfectly fine. Well-enough, actually, to match Andrea Rhodea in a contest. Then, the owner of the Honeybee Inn showed him his prize.

"Oh, hell no!"

Tifa didn't hide her mirth.

"Oh, hell yes!"

Madam M had agreed to provide the food for the banquet. Chocobo Sam had offered his services for the transport. Barret, Biggs, Wedge and Jessie had offered to provide security detail until Zack pointed that he and Cloud were ex-military, so whoever tried to crash their wedding was already in big trouble. The four had still decided to come with guns. They would just keep them hidden.

They weren't the only ones planning to come bearing arms.

-VII-

"Are you absolutely certain, Kunsel?"

"One hundred percent. Got it straight from Black Suit. Zack is back and he's getting married in that church in the Sector 5 slums. Black Suit's going."

"And the Turks?"

"No word from Reno but, knowing them? They'll be there. I have no idea for Heidegger, though. Last attempt ended with nearly half the Peacekeeper Force decimated and Zack escaping, but I wouldn't put it past him to try again. He's a war hawk."

Luxiere hissed a curse.

"There are talks about a new mass desertion, like the one that preceded the Genesis War. With or against Shinra, Zack is one of us. He is the last 1st Class. Many of us are still loyal to him. And, let's be honest: he can't be worse than Genesis."

"Yeah, he can't. But desertion? Of that scale?"

"What do we have to lose?"

Kunsel considered.

"This is a serious decision. Once we take it, there is no way back."

"We know." Luxiere said softly. "We know."

They weren't the only ones talking about desertion. The troopers of the Peacekeeping Forces had their own intelligence experts who were just as skilled.

"Strife? Are you sure?"

"I met him a few times in the slums. Yeah, that was him. I don't know why he was wearing an altered SOLDIER outfit, but I saw his eyes and I saw him fight. He might as well be one."

Hastings hissed a curse.

"Any idea how he became like that, Jordan?"

"Hojo."

Several troopers swore loudly.

"Shows what they think of us. I knew the job's risky but I have a family to think about. If we mean so little to them, I quit!"

"You're not the only one. Word is SOLDIER's got something similar planned. Maybe desertion. Maybe sabotage. Anyway, a good number of them are planning to use the wedding to quit in a spectacular fashion."

"…Tell them we want in on it."

Of course, having the Turks in his pocket meant Rufus knew everything about the event. A sly grin crossed his face.

"Of course, you can attend." He told Tseng. "After all, Zack Fair is an old friend. I am not mean-enough to keep you from attending your friend's wedding."

"Thank you, Sir." The Wutaian nodded. "What about the desertion talks in SOLDIER and the Peacekeeping Forces?"

"We will wait after the wedding. If they plan to quit, they mean to join Fair's side. I intend to negotiate with him face to face and come to an agreement. Who knows? It may end up being my wedding gift…"

-VII-

In the end, the big day finally came. Barret frowned when he saw the four Turks in a suit step into the church.

"Don't worry." Tseng reassured. "Zack is a friend. We aren't there to start a fight. Case in point: where can we leave our weapons?"

"Keep them." The black man shook his head. "It's the slums. Trouble's never far. Just hide them on yourselves like we do."

He and Elena ended keeping their guns safely in their holster while Reno hid his baton away. Rude had nothing to hide. More worryingly, while a good deal of Sector 5 and 7 had come to the party, an increasing number of men and women had joined the crowd, some wearing oddly-familiar broadswords while others had guns and electric batons strapped on. Barret checked his Gatling gun.

"I shouldn't have brought Marlene…"

"It's not just her. Betty and the Leaf House kids are also there." Biggs shuddered. "To think it was my idea… I'm starting to regret it. Today's supposed to be a happy day. I should've remembered why no one does that kind of big ceremony nowadays."

Talks were interrupted when a first chocobo carriage arrived, from which Zack and Cissnei exited. The brunette was wearing a tailor-made three-piece black suit that fit him like a glove, the Buster Sword hanging safely in his back. Cissnei was one step behind in her old Turk uniform, her shuriken in clear display. Both weapons were a warning: this was a wedding, but crash it at your own risk because the groom and his best woman were going to take it personally.

The moment they stepped down the carriage, the broadsword-wielding guests lined up in an honor guard, and it was only then that people noticed they all had matching blue eyes. Mako eyes. Kunsel, clad in civilian clothes like his comrades, held the urge to grin. It had been Luxiere's idea to go armed but out of uniform to not cause a panic. According to him, wielding a weapon in the slums was just common sense. So, the soon-to-be-ex-SOLDIERs were lining the path leading to the church, sword in the ground as they stood guard and watched their idol walk to the building, his best woman one step behind. Kunsel was next to the entrance. Zack almost didn't recognize him.

"What are you guys doing here? Did Shinra send you?"

"Nope." Kunsel smirked. "We are here on our own accord. After Shinra's assassination attempt outside Midgar, we and some of the Force decided to do something, namely: deserting. Everyone here has bailed."

"Oh, the President isn't going to be happy."

"That's his problem. He shouldn't have tried to kill you."

Then, the second carriage arrived and Zack found himself at a total loss of word.

-VII-

"Something old: the diadem. Something new: the dress. Something borrowed: the sword. Something blue: your eyes – just kidding. The sapphire necklace. And a silver gil coin in your shoe. You're good to go." Tifa smiled.

Cloud, not for the first time, groaned.

"Why do I have to wear a dress? It's my wedding day. Why can't I wear a white suit?"

"Hush, you look very pretty in a dress. Also, we're here. Let's get out."

And so it was that Zack beheld his future spouse for the first time. The sight robbed him of his voice and his legs, making him stumble as any attempt to express his awe was reduced to unintelligible gibberish. He wasn't the only one, and the reason was obvious.

Cloud walked to the church, Tifa one step behind as she wore a short black kimono-style dress with pink flower hair accessories. But it wasn't her who was catching everyone's eyes. No, it was the dress-clad groom.

The dress was entirely white. However, the skirt was long-enough to reach the ground and scintillating like diamond dust, with just enough poof to give the illusion of curves. The bodice was lined with the skirt by soft fluffy feathers and the stomacher was adorned with pearls and lace. No big poofy sleeves. The shoulders and collar were left bare. Rather, long pristine gloves ran all the way to half the upper arms, the top of the hands decorated with feather embroidery. The dress was trailing a little behind and a bridal veil was hanging in the back, tired to Cloud's hair by a white flower pin. A golden necklace with sapphire flowers hung around his neck. A golden diadem adorned his head, the points fitting just fine with his trademark spiky hair. Finally, the makeup he was wearing softened his face and enhanced his shining blue eyes while the light pink gloss highlighted his lips. A bouquet of seven pink roses was in his hands, and a mithril saber with a cross-shaped guard was hanging in his back.

Zack found himself in a trance, unable to look away from the sight before him. Was it a dream? Was it reality? By any measure, the man before him looked straight from a fantasy. The crowd was similarly silent as Cloud walked to the church, the SOLDIERs standing at attention with their swords before them. Still in a trance, Zack held his hand. Cloud took it.

"You are breathtaking."

"…Thanks. It wasn't my idea."

"I am so not complaining."

He briefly wiped the drool that had slipped while he was daydreaming and led his future spouse inside. The church was similarly silent, and it wasn't hard to guess why. Aerith had to remind herself that she was officing the ceremony and staring was rude. Barret removed his glasses, mouth ajar as he watched the couple walk the aisle. Reno was openly drooling and Tseng had both eyebrows raised. Jessie and Elena were gripping their seat. Biggs and Rude were seriously reconsidering their attraction to women. Madam M and Chocobo Sam gave Andrea a very pointed look. Andrea merely smiled fondly.

Somehow, Betty had gotten her hands on a version of Prelude (FF VII Remake) and was playing it on her jukebox. Zack and Cloud stopped before the altar. Aerith, clad in a beautifulred spaghetti-strapped formal gown with frill designs and red heels, began to talk.

-VII-

Rufus watched from afar. For now, the wedding was going well. When Zack had appeared, he had nodded appreciatively. When Cloud had appeared, he had no shame admitting he had to remind himself several times he preferred women. Because wow, the blonde groom had been a sight. So much, in fact, that he had stolen everyone's breath, regardless of gender. The vice president had just gotten his bearings when a new carriage arrived. The man who exited it, accompanied by three armed thugs, was quickly joined by a dozen more men.

Rufus paused. Frowned. Let the gears turn in his head. Realization struck. The grin that grew on his face was somewhere between nefarious and extremely smug, with maybe a few too many teeth.

Now he knew what was going to happen, his next step was finding a way to discretely grab either a glass or some of those tasty snacks to chew on. This was going to be good…

-VII-

"Zack Fair, do you agree to take Cloud Strife as your spouse, to love him and care for him, until the Goddess calls you back to her embrace?"

"I do."

"Cloud Strife, do you agree to take Zack Fair as your spouse, to love him and care for him, until the Goddess calls you back to her embrace?"

"I do."

"Very well. You may now kiss the groom."

Zack and Cloud pressed their lips together in a passionate kiss. They held gaze as they parted, Zack gently stroking his husband's face as Cloud's hand rested on his chest. The whole crowd went wild. However, as a certain someone made their entrance, the clamor swiftly died. The newlywed turned and Zack reflexively pressed Cloud against him, his free hand reaching for the Buster Sword.

"You weren't invited."

"I know." Don Corneo smirked. "I still decided to come. And I have to admit, it is quite the setup you have. Quite the beauties, too…" He eyed Tifa, Aerith, Jessie and Elena. "Though all of them pale in comparison of the bride. My, such wonder! I had no idea the slums could grow such a delicate bloom!"

"You won't have me." Cloud glared.

"Oh, but I already got you, my pretty. I can have any beauty I want as a bride, and you are the most beautiful I have ever seen. Oh, yes. I am going to keep you for a long time. I will give you a night to remember, better than your husband could ever give you." The fat man licked his lips. "What's the term? Oh, yes, droit du seigneur. I feel like exerting it. Boys? …Boys?"

He turned, and froze when he saw the crowd outside trailing guns and pointing broadswords at him while his men were nowhere to be found. He did notice bloody trailed on the ground that led outside. A silenced scream echoed in the distance. When he turned around, the rest of the church was pointing a varied assortment of weapons, from guns to swords to a shuriken and even some bare fists. But it was the two grooms, in particular, who caught his eye as both had drawn massive blades.

"You won't have me." Cloud repeated.

And it was only then that Don Corneo realized the "bride" had an oddly deep voice.

"W-Wait, you're a man?"

"I know I look good in that dress but seriously? I am not that feminine, am I?"

Zack hesitated.

"Well… Yes, you are. Sorry. Don't make me sleep on the sofa."

Cloud rolled his eyes and stepped behind him.

"I'd love to join in on the fun, but I would ruin the pretty dress and that would be sad. Andrea put a lot of effort in it."

Andrea chuckled.

"A dress is a small price to pay to be permanently rid of that ball of slime, darling. Feel free to defend your honor."

"No need." Cissnei growled, shuriken in hand. "Because, if he ever puts a hand on Cloud… I'll cut them off."

Aerith tapped her staff on the floor with a dangerous smile.

"Then… I'll rip them off."

Tifa adjusted her gloves and joined the two women.

"And, finally… I'll smash them."

Don Corneo took one look at the three women before running away screaming. Zack turned to Barret and Biggs.

"Have the kids look away. What I'm about to do is not for their eyes."

He counted to five as the black man covered his daughter's eyes. Then, he leapt, Buster Sword in hand. From his spot, Rufus Shinra dug in the bowl of sweets Darkstar had brought back and watched as the former 1st Class jumped out of the church like a jack-in-the-box and landed on Don Corneo. A scream was cut by a wet sound. When he stood, the Buster Sword was stained red. The rogue SOLDIERs quickly vanished the corpse.

"Good riddance."

Zack returned to the church and joined Cloud who closed his eyes and threw the bouquet. After a bit of struggle, Tseng and Elena ended catching it at the same time. The two Turks looked away, blushing. Rufus watched the newlyweds exit the church to a standing ovation and decided it was his cue. The pair was watching the pile of presents when he approached.

"Strife. Fair. I believe congratulations are in order."

Cloud gave a put-upon sigh.

"First Don Corneo, then Rufus Shinra. If Hojo shows up, I'm moving to Wutai."

Zack stood taller and glared at the vice president.

"Figured the mass desertion wouldn't make you happy. If you want your men back, I'm afraid I don't have that kind of authority. Nor do I want to send them, for that matter."

"And neither do we want to return." An ex-trooper growled. "I remember Strife. Since we're all worth so little to you, I'm outta here. Bye, guy!"

Most of the crowd was quick to voice their agreement. Kunsel crossed his arms.

"We know you tried to kill Zack. We know how many men you sent after him and how many returned: none. Next time you try pointing a gun his or his husband's way, it won't just be the Buster Sword striking back. It will be our swords as well. Good luck."

"I know. I wasn't going to ask that of you." Rufus reassured. "Unlike my father, I know a lost cause when I see one. Their attempt against Fair's life was suicide, plain and simple. So, Fair, here is what I offer."

Zack crossed his arms. The vice president held a hand.

"I will make sure no one among the board, be it my father, Heidegger or anyone else, tries anything against you or any of the deserters. In return, I would greatly appreciate that you didn't butt in Shinra's business. No attacking the men still loyal to Shinra. No messing with the company's daily operations. No assisting groups like Avalanche. There are rumors some have set their sights on the mako reactors. Besides the general amount of destruction caused, you can guess how angry the board would be. How does that sound?"

Zack hesitated. His gaze went over the deserters. More than a few were muttering among themselves and some seemed to approve. Kunsel and Luxiere were seriously considering the offer.

"Tempting. Do you actually have the means to make good on your promise, though? Do you have that kind of authority?"

Rufus nodded.

"And if they act behind my back, this is what the Turks are for. Right, Tseng?"

"Indeed, Sir. Gladly."

The ex-1st Class sighed.

"Fine, we have a deal. We stay away from each other and don't mess with our respective business and all is good."

"Excellent. Now, perhaps I could have some cake, please?"

"You get one slice."

They had just shaken hands that several mechs, including several Sweepers, surrounded the area. A familiar feminine voice echoed in the air.

"Hands in the air, renegades!"

As everyone in attendance reached for their weapons and prepared to fight, Rufus vocally groaned and put a hand on his face.

"Goddess dammit, Scarlet! Strife, it seems you will have to ruin your dress, in the end. A shame. You were gorgeous in it."

"We carry weapons in the slums for a reason, vice president. But yeah, shame about the dress."

He helped the Turks take the children to safety, then found a proper vantage point to watch the grooms and attendance fall on Scarlet mechs with the fury of Ifrit's hellfire. This was how he saw Cissnei throw her shuriken in the air and Barret fire at it, making the weapon bounce between mechs like a pinball. A little away, Aerith had created a forcefield inside which Tifa was bouncing, her fists tearing effortlessly through the mechs' plating. Finally, Cloud and Zack had taken on the biggest mech and were busy dicing it down, moving in perfect synch despite their outfits.

Needless to say, Scarlet didn't win, and the party had no casualty to mourn. Cloud looked at his now-ruined dress.

"Dammit…"

"Hey, it will just be easier to remove tonight." Zack winked.

This got the blonde to chuckle.

"Maybe you're right. Gotta find a silver lining to this mess."

"There is a silver lining: we are officially married."

Cloud grabbed him by the collar and kissed him. Rufus, meanwhile, managed to get his slice of cake. He munched it as he considered how exactly he was going to mess with Scarlet in retaliation for crashing the wedding. Maybe something humiliating…

The party lasted far in the evening. While the two grooms retreated to their apartment for some well-deserved intimacy, a lot of people decided to keep celebrating. Don Corneo was dead, Shinra was off the deserters' back, and opportunities to have fun were rare. Madam M, Chocobo Sam and Andrea gathered a little apart. The Wutaian woman was grinning manically behind her fan.

"So, your plan worked as intended."

"It worked better than intended, you mean!" Chocobo Sam laughed. "Don Corneo is dead, dead, dead!"

Andrea raised his glass.

"My friends, don't you just love it when a plan comes together?"

The trio laughed. They were finally free.

Meanwhile, in the safety of their homes, Cloud looked nervously at the walls.

"A shame they are so thin. We're going to keep the whole neighborhood awake."

"Nah, everyone's still at the party. Don't worry." Zack reassured.

He pressed against his husband's back before removing his gloves. Cloud nestled against him.

"Thank you. For everything. For being there… For being you. Just… Thank you. I love you."

"I love your too, Cloud." Zack breathed. "Now, let's get you out of that dress. I've been dreaming of it since I saw you."

Cloud chuckled and removed his husband's jacket as his bodice hit the ground. It was a long, passionate night.

It was the best wedding ever.

So... been awhile since I posted anything on . Time to remedy that. This one-shot was inspired by a scene for a fic but it will happen further down the line - much further. So, in the meantime, enjoy the fluff and heart fuzzies.