Live-Streaming at the Stream
It was about a year after the time traveler's visit. Yamcha had come for comfort after Bulma had a revenge fuck with Vegeta and he couldn't forgive her this time. While Chichi was comforting him, Gohan noticed his father muttering while counting on his fingers. He couldn't see how many fingers he held up or hear what he was saying from his cracked bedroom door.
Gohan saw his father's face light up with a giant smile from ear to ear.
"It's about time they did it. I was getting worried!"
"Goku!" Piccolo shouted from what had become his favorite spot for leaning against the wall.
Goku looked over towards Piccolo, "What? Don't tell me you weren't worried this wasn't going to happen in time too?"
"Are you supporting this?!" Yamcha shouted.
"Well yeah, it was going—"
Goku caught Yamcha's punch. "I thought you were my friend?!"
"I am! Yamcha calm down a sec and let me explain."
"Goku shut up!" Piccolo shouted. "Just because this happened doesn't mean 'IT' happened yet."
"But Gohan hap—"
Piccolo grabbed him and dragged him protesting out the front door.
While Chichi knelt down to comfort Yamcha who had collapsed into a ball on the floor, Gohan sneaked out his bedroom window.
Piccolo had dragged Goku quite a distance from the house. Gohan ducked into a bush.
"Will you just wait until we confirm she's pregnant?" he said angrily. "Even I know some people take multiple tries."
"But he should be born around Bunka no Hi this year," Goku pleaded. "since Chichi said boys are born early. He's running out of time."
"Oh my—" Gohan slammed his hands over his mouth.
Piccolo sighed. "Get out here, Gohan…"
Gohan sheepishly came over.
Piccolo turned to him and crossed his arm. "Gohan. Do not say ANYTHING about the baby. Even after the time traveler is born. Got it?"
Gohan nodded vigorously.
Goku looked over at the house as he heard something breaking and shouting.
"I don't think we should be going back anytime soon," Goku said.
"Gee, you think?" Piccolo said.
Goku looked at Gohan, "Hey, want to go fishing at the waterfall?"
"Yeah!"
"Ok," Goku grinned, "I'll get the fishing poles out of the shed and you get the small sword you think you're cleverly hiding under your mattress."
Gohan looked shocked.
Goku chuckled through his teeth.
Goku and Gohan were relaxing by the pond, poles resting on stands and strings in the water. Piccolo wanted to be as far away from the racket as possible, and had disappeared to somewhere.
"So, his name is going to be Trunks?"
"Hopefully, he did change history. It be funny if he comes back to fight with us and he's a girl this time," he chuckled.
"I'm not sure that's how it will work," Gohan said.
"You mean the library books on time travel you're hiding under your dresser?" Goku laughed at his expression. "The library called because you're always alone and your address is so far away. You're lucky Grandpa's castle is within walking distance and he gives them money. They were going to get the police involved."
He looked seriously at his son, "Gohan. I know you're a lot more capable and independent than most seven-year-olds. But you're still seven years old. A lot has changed since I was your age. If Grandpa died today, the police would have swarmed the woods knowing he had a child living with him. Back then, no one gave a shit."
Gohan looked surprised, "But why?"
"Money. Lots of money. There's a good reason no one went looking after my grandpa stopped showing up in town once a month to buy rice. A lot of big lumber companies lost their shit when I showed up alive. If it wasn't for Bulma and her parents paying for lawyers and all the letters your grandpa and Master Roshi kept proving I existed, I don't think there would be a single tree left on Mt. Paozu." He put his hand on Gohan's head, "Your inheritance from me isn't just your strength. Look at everything around you. It is your inheritance, your real inheritance. The forest that welcomed me with open arms, kept me alive and happy for a decade before I saw another human face. Everything here, is me. The real me."
Gohan looked around at the spring flowers blooming through the emerging hay fields around them, the butterflies jumping from bloom to bloom and the birds noisily welcoming spring.
"I won't let anything happen to it," Gohan said.
Goku grinned again, "That's my son."
Suddenly the birds scattered.
"Dad, you hear that?"
Goku stood. "Yeah. Someone is coming. Very loudly too. Gonna scare everything away."
The group entered the clearing from the forest trail leading to the dirt road, wearing hiking gear and holding sticks with rectangles on the end in the air.
Goku jogged forward. "Hey! What you guys doing all the way out here?! Don't you know it's mating season for everything?! Where's your weapons?!"
The group stopped, laughed, and pointed. Then they looked at the rectangles and started talking.
"Dad. I think that's English."
Goku sighed. "I hope these aren't the same people your mother said made a scene at the grocery store the other day."
"And here we are, homeboys and bitches…" the muscular man with blond hair and skin tight muscle shirt said to his phone on the selfie stick.
They were six other people with him, all in their early 20s from the look of it. There was one girl with her neon red hair in braided dreadlocks with golden brown peeking out her hairline. She was in daisy dukes and a way-too-little-fabric-to-hold-those-things-up bikini top. She had a small camera hanging from a chain that fell right at the top of her cleavage. She also had a selfie stick with her phone. There was one guy with a beard with a camera on top of his head. Two other people had hand-held cameras and what looked like black adjustable arms with a large fuzzy animal hanging from the end connected to their backpacks with colorful wires.
There was one person who seemed sensible enough to have real camping gear while everyone else was in not-safe-for-outdoors clothing, or in the case of the woman, not-safe-for-work. Attached to his belt with rope was an all-terrain cart with two orange boxes with electrical sockets all over them and some black plastic folded sheets. Sharing the weight with him by another rope was a man in at least hiking boots. He had a vest with a fancy laptop that looked like it could survive a nuke opened on its folding platform. He was wearing a large backpack with a massive black rubber covered stick that hit the branches overhead.
"…Right over this ridge is the waterfall the GPS map said should be here."
They walked out into the open.
"And there it is!" the girl with red hair said. "Wow. Can't wait to jump off of that!"
"Hey there's locals here," the man with the GoPro attached to his hat. "Looks like they're fishing."
"We can drive them away easily," the blond man said dismissively. "Just like we've been doing."
The local man began running over shouting.
The group began laughing and probably gave their live-streaming audience motion sickness.
"Did you hear that accent?! Oh my God. That's the worst I've heard so far!"
The boy with him ran over to the man. Then the two came over together.
"Hey! You guys' tourists! What are you doing all the way out here? You lost?!"
They stopped laughing.
"That was the best English I've heard since we left Tokyo Airport," the man with the camping gear said. "Guy's got an education. Be careful."
"Speaking English doesn't mean a thing," the blond man continued to be dismissive.
The man approached, and they got a good look for the first time.
"He's definitely not Asian, at least not pure Asian. Got a soldier daddy?" the red head said.
"Would explain the perfect English. And look at that hair," the man with the camera on his head said.
The man walked up and raised his hand. "Yo! I'm Son Goku. And this is my land." He put his hands on his hips. "You guys lost? The road to the national forest is back that way," he pointed to his left before returning his arm to his hip.
"No," the blond man said, pointing the phone between them. "So where did you learn English?"
"From Bulma and the old man when we lived in the islands. She moved in with us when Yamcha did. Lots of fighting, even back then."
The three streamers began to laugh. "There's no way someone from here worked for Capsule Corp. You're just pulling names from the headlines."
Goku crossed his arms, "I didn't—"
The man with blond hair moved next to Goku's shoulder and pushed a button on his stick that rotated the camera around. "See everyone, this local yokel probably can't even read!"
Goku turned to face him. He didn't speak English for several sentences.
The three laughed again.
The blond man put his elbow on Goku's shoulder as he was much taller. "That's a pretty waterfall you got there, mind sharing it?"
Goku stepped back and wiped his shoulder. "You guys don't have any fishing gear."
"Nah, we're here for jumping," the red-haired girl said.
"That's not for jumping unless you got a sword," Goku said, pointing at the pond behind him with his thumb.
"And why the fuck would we need a sword?"
"To cut yourself out when you get eaten by a mountain carp," Goku said like it was completely obvious.
While Goku was talking, Gohan had been walking around the group.
"Dad, I don't think there's a point talking to them. They don't even have backwards masks with them. They're just idiots."
"Excuse me?" The big guy with the camera on his head leaned down into Gohan's face. "Did you just call us idiots?"
"Yes," Gohan said.
"We actually do have them," the man with the camping gear said. "They won't wear them because they look stupid for the cameras."
"You're going to look even more stupid when the search parties find video of you being eaten," Gohan said matter-of-factly.
"We're live-streamers, kiddo. There's tens of thousands of people watching right now that saw you call us idiots. We got your daddy's name too."
Goku sighed, lowering his head and pinching his nose. "Ok… Ok…" He raised his head. "I was going to be nice and let you film and have a walkaround. But I'm not about to have dead people on my land. My father-in-law too. This stream is the property boundary."
"So, who's your daddy?" the red-headed woman asked, putting her selfie stick in his face.
"The Ox-King. You probably saw his castle when you went through town to get here."
"The… the gang leader who was recognized as the legal ruler of this area after a treaty with the government in Tokyo?" the guy with the laptop stuttered.
"Hey, someone who knows local history, congratulations. Now," Goku's smile vanished. "Get off my family's land. Besides, I don't think you have as many watchers as you think you do."
"And why is that?!" The blond man shouted. "Do you know who we are?"
"People who either cheaped out on a non-compatible aftermarket part or got tricked into buying a counterfeit CC satellite uplink kit."
"How did you know we are having trouble keeping the feed going?!" the man with the laptop said.
Goku pointed. "The antenna. I've bodyguarded Bulma enough to know what those things look like. And unless you got more in that backpack, that's a really really old one, if it's real to begin with."
"Look, we didn't travel hours out of our way to get here only to get turned away again," the blond man shouted in Goku's face.
"What do you mean, again? My family owns all the wilderness that's not part of the national park."
"The park closed the trails because some local woman got chased by a stupid pig."
"So you're trying to get in a backdoor? Let me tell you something about living in the forest. Most predators will not attack a human unless provoked, cornered, threatened, or starving. Predators cannot risk injury. You can't hunt while you heal and you can't heal if you starve. If you understand this and act accordingly, like wearing the anti-tiger masks you guys apparently have but aren't using, they're most likely going to look at you and decide you are not worth it.
"Large prey animals, however, do not think things through that way. Now big animals like moose—"
"There are no moose here in Japan," the woman taunted.
Goku stayed calm. "I used it as an example because you guys are clearly from North America. Now, a prey animal doesn't start debating whether to risk injury. They will flee if they can but fight if they must. If death is unavoidable, it will take you down with it without a moment's hesitation.
"A wild boar, however, does not give a shit. They just want you dead. They'll see anything from a squirrel to a T-Rex and they will charge it until it's dead. Boars have killed dinosaurs. And right now, it's mating season. The boys are extra pissed off right now. If what happened to my wife two weeks ago was enough to spook the park to close down, then my wife was not the first close call."
"Uh guys, look," the man with the camera on his head pointed.
Gohan had run and come back with the sword. He had it drawn in a fighting stance.
"These guys are armed. We need to go," the man with the laptop said.
The blond man looked at Gohan, then at Goku who had crossed his arms.
"Fine… let's go. Back down the trail people."
The group disappeared into the trees.
"They're going to try again, right?" Gohan said, lowering the sword.
"Yep." Goku whistled.
The nimbus showed up.
"Gohan, keep an eye on them while I go get your grandpa and the police." He flew away.
"Those people had a sword. A sword!" the man with the camera on his head said. "You said the countryside would be an easy goldmine, what the hell?!"
The group was back on the road with their rental van.
"Calm down, Alan. It's not like they were going to stab us on livestream," the blond man said.
The two cameramen who were silently filming the entire thing were going over footage.
"Oh, shit. Hey Tim!"
"What?" the blond man said.
"When that guy stopped speaking English for a second? The software just identified it as Korean, then Mandarin, then Cantonese. That guy's multilingual."
"Then the software is glitching."
"No," the other guy said, "He was switching languages the whole time."
"Jake, Brock, you're losing it," Tim held his hands out, "We're in the middle of the fucking nowhere in Japan's version of West Virginia! Hicks everywhere for as far as the eyes can see."
"Who apparently carry swords instead of guns!" Alan shouted. "I am not doing that again."
"Hey guys," the man with the rugged laptop said. "I think we're in major trouble."
"What, the feed break again, Nathan?" the woman asked, walking over. "You're supposed to be our tech expert, damn it!"
"No, look at the chat. There's news articles and pictures of that guy. He's famous."
The red-head scrolled through the feed. "Man who killed King Piccolo Defeats Green Son at Worlds Martial Arts Tournament, Capsule Corp Heiress Moves into Failing Dojo's Owner's Home with Students, Martial Artists with ties to Capsule Corp Defeat Alien Invaders." She stood straight, "These can't be real. We're just getting trolled." She tried to slam the laptop shut.
The man stopped it with his hands, "Hey, you trying to cut the feed again, Megan?" He looked back at the chat.
LMOA These idiots are either going to get eaten live or tortured to death in some evil warlord's castle basement. This is going to be great!
Nathan looked up and sighed.
The man with the proper hiking gear jumped out of the driver's seat. "Guys! Police scanner is going off." He pointed at his cellphone. "Translation app is talking about trespassers in the trees."
"They called the cops?!" Megan said. "Good! They pointed a sword at us. Let them get arrested."
"I'd rather not test if Japan has Stand Your Ground laws," Alan said.
"It doesn't," Tim said. "Everyone load up. Liam, get back behind the wheel. Find a driveway or something we can pull off of and hide in the trees for a bit."
Goku was up in the air on his nimbus while three cop hover cars were driving below.
"There is a guy… that can ride on clouds…" one of the cops said.
"Welcome to the mountains rookie," the cop driving chuckled. "That's why I'm out here with you. First time with the royals. You really need to just go with the flow out here. Especially with the occasional explosions."
"Explosions?!"
The cop pointed up. "That man is the head of Earth's Alien Defense Forces. And a lot of nasty people in the galaxy know where he lives. His house in the woods has been attacked a few times now."
"So that alien attack drill manual wasn't a newbie gag?!"
"Why? You didn't throw it out, did you?"
"N…no! Supervisor-san, I would never throw out important paperwork."
*fuzz* Hey, it's Goku. I found them. They're hanging around a van on the road to the East Apple Orchards behind a shed, but I can only sense three of them. My son's ki isn't at the pond and is heading north. I told him to watch over them. The rest are probably in the forest still trying to find a backdoor into the park. *fuzz*
The supervisor grabbed the car's radio. "Thank you for your help, Son-hiko. All units, head for the East Apple Orchard."
*fuzz* Hey, they are all scrambling into the van now. Looks like they are driving off deeper into the orchard. I don't think they saw me? *fuzz*
"Thank you for the update. Everyone, lights on. Let's go!"
The supervisor put the radio handle down and hit the switch turning on the lights and siren.
On the ground…
"How did they find us?" Alan shouted as he rolled and bounced around the back while being bombarded with the equipment. Brock and Liam were in the front two seats.
"Translator said something about a cloud. They must have a drone or something!" Liam shouted.
"Turn right on that path!" Brock pointed.
Alan went slamming into the side of the van as Liam drove onto the wheel rut path.
The van was now hopping and bouncing around across the rocks and roots.
"This isn't even a path now, is it? Liam, where did you take us?" Alan said hugging the passenger seat's back like his life depended on it.
"Yell at Brock, not me."
Suddenly Goku dropped in front of him. They hit him and he rolled over the hood and over the roof.
"Oh my God, we just killed someone!" Alan shouted.
"Go faster. Much faster," Brock shouted.
Suddenly they heard something on the roof.
Goku looked in the windshield upside down. "Stop. Right now!"
Liam screamed and slammed on the breaks. Goku was flung forward, but put his hands on the ground and did two flips and landed safely on his feet. He then walked up to the window and knocked. Liam hit the switch and it rolled down as they were blocked in.
Goku held his hand out.
Liam dropped the keys in his hand as the cops came up, weapons drawn.
"What the fuck are cops in Japan doing with guns, man…" Alan said as he was put in the back.
"But we saw them run you over," the rookie said.
"Yeah, and I'm fine. You're acting like I got bowled over by an alien space pod on reentry. Now, I only want trespassing charges for what they did at the pond."
"Hey," the supervisor put his hand on the rookie's shoulder. "Son Goku-sama gets what Son Goku-sama wants."
"Come on, Kenji-sa," Goku smiled. "You know I hate -sama. It's -kun, please."
"While I may have earned that right over the years, I must give a good example for the rookie, who has not."
"Oh…" Goku looked back at him, "That's why he talks funny. Hey, I'm Son Goku-sa. How long have you been here?"
"Um, about a year and a half."
"Oh, no wonder we've never met! I was on planet Yardrat at the time. Only been back on Earth for less than a year myself. Have you met Piccolo yet? We made him Gohan's godparent after he promised not to attack Earth again. He's staying in the area currently. Dad keeps offering to buy him a permanent house, but he keeps declining. Guess he just likes camping in the woods."
"Piccolo… as in King Piccolo?"
"Yep, but the person you're thinking about is his dad. I killed him, so I promise he's dead. The new Piccolo is really nice once you get past the grumpy 'everything on this planet is annoying and especially you' phase."
The rookie dropped his tablet as Goku put his arms behind his head and grinned.
The supervisor patted his rookie's shoulder. "The Sons get whatever they want for a reason. No one on this planet can stop them even if they wanted to."
Goku chuckled through his teeth.
In the forest…
"Radicaljumpingjacks, I think this is more of an ant trail than an actual hiking path."
"Shut up, tech support," Tim said as they made their way along a narrow dirt path in the forest. "We still got the GPS. Once we're over this hill, we'll be up on the same level that waterfall comes from."
When the team decided to split up, they chose to travel light. Just the selfie sticks, a professional camera without the add-on microphone kit, and the laptop and satellite kit. They also carried small spare battery chargers in the backpack instead of the wagon with the full camping solar generator set up.
In and out.
"Ugh!" Megan shouted as a branch snapped back into her face. "This is more nature than I signed up for. The waterfall better be worth it."
"It will, Daisydutchess. It will. Just stop bitching already."
They heard a sound and Jake pointed his camera at the canopy.
"I still got that creepy feeling," he said.
"If we're having this much trouble, there is no way in hell we are being followed. On foot or by drone. Keep the running commentary to us, Camera two."
Jake filmed a large shadow moving above them through the trees.
"We're definitely being followed," Jake whispered to Nathan.
"I know that, and you know that. Hopefully these masks work if it's a cat."
The two had put the masks on, much to Tim and Megan's frustration.
They finally made it to the top of the hill and the ground flattened out.
"It's about time," Megan said.
Tim used his phone to scan the area. "And there's no small plants around here. Just dirt. Going to make getting through so much easier."
They made their way quickly through the clearing.
"Look at the damage to some of the trees," Nathan said. "Bark's completely gone in some spots."
"Yeah. This ground isn't normal either," Jake said. "Looks like when my mom had the gardeners rototill part of the grass to expand the flower garden. This has been dug up."
"So you think one of the locals hired a professional landscaping company to come dig up the forest without cutting down the trees?" Tim rolled his eyes.
"That's not what I'm saying."
Tim stopped and turned around, "Then what are you saying?"
"A bunch of big animals did this. And they're probably still around."
Tim walked over to a nearby damaged tree. He put his hand on the polished wood of the huge concave depression that went from his knees to well above his head for the six-foot three-inch man.
"Come on, we see damage like this all the time. It's from a tree splitting in a storm.
"If it came from a split, then where's the branch?"
"Firewood. You're the one who keeps saying people have been here."
"Rad, that's an evergreen. They only have one trunk and don't split," Nathan said.
"Stop being a nerd," Tim snapped.
Suddenly, Megan went pale and dropped her selfie stick. "Ahhhhh, Rad?"
Tim immediately picked up her stick. "Daisy, you're going to get mud all over your phone."
"Oh, fuck," Jake said.
Nathan undid his straps and dropped the equipment backpack and laptop on the ground.
"What the hell are you doing Tech Support?! You know how expensive that crap is?!" Tim shouted at the top of his lungs.
Then he heard a loud, low-pitched squeal.
Tim turned around.
It was big.
Its snout was at the same height as his head and four times the width, tusks the size of an African elephant's and its huge back molars jutted out like the side exhausts pipes on a hot rod.
It looked like they could spit fire too.
The giant wild boar snorted and pawed at the dirt. Then it screeched again.
Nathan was already running when Jake yelled run.
Tim was frozen, but Megan grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the way.
The pine tree exploded into splinters, and it did not even affect its momentum. The boar spun to make a sharp turn but slid in the loose dirt and slammed into another tree. This tree didn't snap at the trunk, but snapped at the roots, lifting the huge, easily over a ton animal into the air.
As it struggled, Tim's legs finally decided to work and he and Megan ran after the others.
Birds scattered in all directions as the sound of trees being smashed filled the mountain valley.
They had run blindly into the forest, but were now following a narrow path down the hill.
At least it was narrow in front of them.
The boar was still right behind them, cutting a swath of devastation through the forest as its bloodlust defied all laws of physics and common sense the suburbanite, gated community tourists had believed up until this moment.
Suddenly a new, high pitched squeal joined the madness.
A purple missile crashed through the canopy in front of them. Their brains did not even have time to register what it was when a person became visible behind its head crest. The person leapt off and over their heads.
They heard the boar scream. Then the crashing stopped.
The group slid to a stop as the giant purple monster was completely blocking their path forward.
The group was whimpering and crying so lost in their fear and emotions they did not notice Gohan's voice.
Finally Gohan walked directly in front of them and clapped his hands loudly, using a little bit of ki to make the sound louder.
To them, it sounded like a gunshot. It finally snapped them out of it.
"I keep saying you're safe now. Have you calmed down enough to hear me?"
Gohan could see the dawning realization on their faces as it sank in through their adrenalin.
They were startled again by Icarus' chirping as it pushed past them and began trying to chop on one of the front legs.
"Wait a minute Icarus. You're still a baby. Let me chop it up first."
They turned their heads and watched, what their brains were only now catching up to the fact was a child, jumping up on the huge boar's back. He pulled out a sword as big as he was that had been hilt to tip inside the beast's chest.
Then he began cutting the boar apart, not minding the blood at all.
"What… are you doing?" Jake asked.
"Icarus is still a hatchling. His parents aren't around anymore, so humans need to cut stuff up for him."
"You're that kid from before, aren't you?" Megan said weakly.
"Yep. Dad said to keep an eye on you, so I've been following you around with Icarus. Here you go, boy."
The large purple lizard began eating and quickly began to look like a baby still learning to eat enjoying spaghetti.
"What even is that thing?" Tim asked, his voice quivering.
"Isn't Icarus beautiful? He's a Siberian Krak's Dragon. The flocks from Kamchatka are the only ones with purple scales like this. They winter in Chishima and Sakhalin, but they've been seen in Hokkaido the past few decades."
"We are not in Hokkaido. This is Ou," Tim pointed out.
"It's barely ten minutes flying time," Gohan said. "Little guy was left behind when his nest was abandoned after a fire in the park. Don't know if his family will fly this far south again, but the animal specialist said I'll have to start flying with him once he's old enough to get him integrated with a flock for the migrations. But the foresters say that's a few years away. Until then, I got a pet dragon!"
"Yeah… that's great kid…" Tim said.
"Thanks. So, are you ready to get out of here? Or do you want to keep going in circles on the animal trails." Gohan then picked up a stick and threw it. It triggered a metal trap hidden in the leaves. "Poachers come in here after the sabercats and tigers. Dad takes time everyday to trigger as many as possible."
Gohan went over and pulled the long metal stake from the ground. It was longer than Tim was tall. Gohan picked up the trap, the closed jaws as big as him. "You guys are really lucky. Traveling animal trails aren't just deadly because of the wildlife."
Megan punched Tim's shoulder.
Tim rubbed his shoulder. "Hey, can we go back and get our stuff we tossed?" he asked, coming to his senses.
"The backpack and laptop? Yeah, I got it." Gohan put the trap down. "Stay here. Don't move."
Gohan walked past Icarus enjoying his surprise porkie treat.
Tim went to stand up. Jake and Nathan grabbed him and pulled him down.
"You are not going anywhere!" Nathan shouted.
"You are definitely not going anywhere without me."
The three looked from where they were wrestling on the ground and saw Gohan already back with the backpack and laptop.
Nathan got out of the pile. "Let me see if anything is broken."
Gohan gave him the laptop and placed the backpack gently down in front of him.
He opened the laptop. "Stream's still going. Everyone online saw that. Chat seems really disappointed we didn't die."
Gohan looked at the screen. "So you guys do live TV stuff, but with computers?"
"Yep," Nathan said. "Oh, some of the people are jealous and want a pet dragon too." He pointed at the live chat feed for Gohan to notice.
"Nah, a dragon is a lot of work. I can see why mom wanted to give it to the people from the park. But Icarus already bonded to me, so she didn't get what she wanted. He eats like two boars a day. Maybe a dinosaur in a month. And he's only going to get bigger."
"You've killed a dinosaur for him?"
"Oh, no."
Tim sighed relieved.
"Mom did. A T-Rex had been going after the dairy farms Grandpa owns. The Forest Service wasn't happy, but videos all showed it had a bad limp, so he wasn't going to make it. They relented and Grandpa sold Limpy's bones for a lot of money and split it with the farmers to cover damages. The tail went to the butcher, but it was too thin otherwise, so Icarus got the rest." Gohan looked at Icarus. "But that ran out last week…"
Jake grabbed his camera and was focused on Gohan now. "How did she kill it? A bazooka?"
"No. A tree pruning saw. If you bait a T-rex to snap at you, you can jump on its head and shove a blade through it's eye and into the brain really easily. Mom and the farmers were caught off guard so they didn't have swords or spears with them."
"There is no way your mom killed a T-Rex with lawn equipment," Tim said. "You're lying for the cameras."
"The kid literally jumped off the back of a dragon and slew a wild boar like a dragoon out of a medieval fantasy. Shut up Tim."
"Don't say my real name on stream! Tech Support!"
"You know all your real names are going to be in the arrest report in the newspaper, right? Dad's got your friends with the cops by now."
Tim stood up, "The hell I'm going to prison." He began walking into the trees.
Megan picked up a rock and threw it at him, "I'd rather get arrested than die! If you die, I'm breaking up with you!"
The rock bounced off his shoulder and triggered another trap a few feet in front of him.
Tim jumped back and landed on his butt.
"Wow, thanks! I'm not as good as my Dad at finding these yet."
"Ok… I'll follow the kid out…" he said shaking.
An hour later, they exited the trees. They were on the Ox-King's side of the pond.
Gohan pointed, "There's my Dad and Grandpa over there. Dad!" he waved.
The streamers could see the man in orange point and all the police jump in their hover cars. The tall man with them also made his way into a comically small hover car while Goku just stayed behind.
"So you guys are the streamers that have been causing trouble all over Ou. This makes the arrest easy," the rookie said in English.
Jake was taking his last moments of freedom to pan up slowly filming the over seven-foot-tall brick wall of muscle with a slight beer gut wearing a Viking horned helmet.
The man laughed, amused by their expressions.
"Grandpa! Grandpa! Did you know I'm a 'dragoon'?!" Gohan said in Japanese.
"Oh, really?"
Gohan nodded then pointed at Nathan. "Nathan said they are warriors who ride dragons!"
The Ox-King laughed again.
It felt like an earthquake.
"So they met Icarus? Where is the tike?"
"Eating the boar that was chasing them. They almost ran right into poacher's traps. We only found two though."
"That's ok, son. Tell your dad and he'll go find the rest."
"Ok!" Gohan ran, more like bounded over the grassy fields.
Ox-King switched to English. "You taught my grandson a new word. Thank you. I'm sure my daughter will tire of it soon though." He laughed again.
"So… you're the Ox-King?" Nathan asked nervously. "The demon emperor?"
"Yes, but don't worry. After the castle burned down a second time, I didn't bother with a dungeon. You'll be locked up at the police station instead."
"Thank you…"
"Alright, in the car," one of the cops said in English, pulling Nathan away.
"Start loading the camera equipment in the trunk!" the supervisor ordered. He went up to him, "Will you be charging them with trespassing too, Ox-King-sama?"
"No, Kenji-sa. But can I ask a favor?" Ox-King got on his knee to lean down far enough to whisper in the man's ear.
"Absolutely, your highness."
"OK! Stream is still going," Nathan said. "We are live."
"Why are we the only ones still handcuffed?" Tim demanded.
Tim and Megan were sitting on the grass near the pond, while Jake and Nathan had been uncuffed to operate the camera equipment.
"Because you are not needed," the supervisor said.
"So, we filming how to catch Mountain Carp?" Goku asked in Japanese.
"Yep," Ox-King said. "You said these guys were interested in jumping. Let's give them one last lesson on why not to mess with mountain people."
Goku shrugged. Then he looked at the camera and spoke English. "Ok people on the other side of the camera. I'm told you are also the same people who saw me tell these guys jumping here was a bad idea. Now I'm going to show you why." Goku undressed to his boxer shorts, put Gohan's sword over his shoulder, and ran over to the cliff.
He climbed up and jumped a total of three times. Then he began thrashing around in the water.
"Won't that scare the fish away?" Jake asked.
Goku stopped.
Then a dark shadow filled the water.
"No! This is how you get Mountain Carp to bite!" he shouted.
Just then, a massive fish the size of a bus leapt higher than the waterfall, opened his mouth, and swallowed Goku whole before disappearing into the deep.
The streamers and the rookie screamed. Jake dropped the camera as he fell to his knees.
Gohan quickly grabbed the camera and held it up again. "It's ok! Dad's not dead."
A few moments later, Goku popped up for air. Then he dove back down.
"Told you," Gohan said.
About a minute later, Goku dragged the massive dead fish onto land. He crawled back in its mouth, then came back out with the sword.
"And this is why you always bring a sword when fishing in the mountains," Goku said to the camera. "You got all that, Gohan?"
"Yeah!" Nathan shouted. "It's all online. The chat is eating it up."
Everyone looked at Tim as he curled up and started sobbing. "I'm sorry. I'll never make fun of Japanese people again. You guys are all insane, like out of an action movie…"
"Well, good you apologized," Goku said. Then he clapped his hands, "Now who wants to get a fire going and eat this fish before the dragon figures out what we're doing?"
"Me!" Gohan shouted.
Ox-King laughed. "Ok. I'll have a snack."
"I think I'll never eat fish again…" Megan whimpered.
"Oh? Sorry to hear that," Goku said. "How come?"
Megan looked at him wide-eyed, then promptly fainted.
"Miss? Miss?" the Rookie leaned over her. "Someone get the smelling salts!" he shouted in Japanese.
"I guess they've been out in the weather too long," Goku scratched his nose while talking to the supervisor, "I'll bring by some fish to the station later."
"You are too kind, Son-hiko." He bowed. "But I believe they do not like fish."
"Well, then you guys can eat it. Everyone has had a busy day."
"The police department thanks you for your family's generosity and patronage."
Ox-King personally delivered grilled carp made by his personal chefs to the police station a couple hours later.
The streamers refused to eat when offered.
Tim unexpectedly screamed and curled into a ball on the holding pen floor at the sight of the food.
The Japanese National Park Service had to give a full statement and expert interviews about the existence and handling of the growing "Icarus Crisis" as dubbed by the media. If flocks of Siberian Krak's Dragons were now nesting in mainland Japan and continuing to move south, that was a huge danger not just for Japan, but possibly Korea and Northeast China.
Shortly after the park service gave their first statement, dozens of news crews, some international, and even groups of environmental protesters filled the lawn outside the Son house. The police were there, but all the small country force could do was run crowd control.
Inside the house, Chichi stood up. "I can't take it anymore! It's been three days!"
"Wait! Chichi, what you doing?!" Goku said, going after her into the kitchen.
The crews and protesters reacted instantly to the front door opening. But went silent seeing an angry woman with a rolling pin come out dragging a full-grown man across the ground by her leg with no visible effort on her part.
"Wait! Chichi! You can't go to prison for murder! Who's going to cook dinner?!"
"I've had enough of you people!" Chichi shouted, raising her pin high in the air. "You got to the count of ten to get out of here before I make you!"
"You and what army?" a protester shouted in a poor attempt at Japanese.
"I don't need an army! I EAT armies for breakfast! Ten! Nine!"
Several reporters surged forward and put microphones in her face.
"Princess Chichi! What is your opinion on the dangerous pet your son is keeping?" "Is it true that your husband battled aliens?" "What's it like to be married to the savior of the world?"
Chichi grabbed a microphone. "Eight! Seven! Six!"
Suddenly Icarus came flying, screaming out of the trees.
Chichi jumped out of the way as he picked up and rolled across the ground with Goku.
"Goku what are you doing?! Get that thing out of my house!"
Icarus was still crying and headbutting him, lifting him up over and over again.
"I think something scared him, Chichi."
"What's wrong with Icarus?!"
Chichi spun back towards the house. "Gohan, get back to your room right now and finish your homework!"
RAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!
Everyone froze.
"Please tell me you guys were watching Jurassic Park?" a reporter asked.
A massive T-Rex walked out of the trees.
Followed by a slightly smaller one.
Then two smaller ones that still had some downy feather patches. They were still the size of the house, however.
"Gohan, stay inside!" Goku shouted.
"Oh, you are not doing this to me on a day like this," Chichi said, running towards the house.
She jumped on the woodpile. Then onto the roof.
Then did a flying kick to the side of the largest of the T-Rex's head.
It crashed to the ground unconscious.
The smaller adult snapped at her and she did a flip back out of the way. It snapped again, this time she jumped on its head and began smacking it with her rolling pin. Chichi rode its snout like a bucking bull as she wailed away at it. Then she stabbed its eye with the handle of the rolling pin causing it to scream.
Chichi perfectly somersaulted off the male's head and landed effortlessly on her feet.
The animal screamed and shook its head as blood ran down the side of its face.
The two juveniles looked at each other and began backing up. One gave its attempt at an intimidating roar.
Chichi widened her stance and screamed back.
The youths flinched, then ran. But not far. They stopped on the hill and began jumping and chirping after their parents like the oversized baby birds they were.
At this point, the female regained consciousness. Seeing its mate bleeding and her children squawking at them at a distance, the large T-rex growled softly, nudging the male's body with her head towards their children before running off.
The male followed quickly.
All the news crews and protesters gave a sigh of relief.
"Don't think you can run from me, you cowards!"
The T-rex flinched as Chichi ran after them, bloody rolling pin in the air.
"I'm having a bad day and kicking your asses is just the stress release I need, and maybe dinner!"
The T-rex pack looked at her, then at each other, then ran screaming for their dinosaur lives into the distance with Chichi right on their heels.
Gohan came out to calm Icarus down, who was still meeping in distress. Goku was just standing there with a big goofy grin on his face looking in the direction his wife went.
Everyone else was frozen.
Then some people found the strength to speak.
"That woman just jumped on a roof…"
"And ninja kicked one in the head and knocked it cold…"
"Jumped on it and beat it with a rolling pin…"
"Screamed back and got them to run away…"
"And now is chasing after them…"
"Wow…" Goku said. "Sometimes I think I forget how absolutely sexy my wife is…"
Everyone looked at him like he was crazy.
"I'm staying at Grandpa's tonight, aren't I?" Gohan sighed.
"Yep. Pack your homework."
"But what about Icarus?"
"He's small enough to fit in the horse stables, you guys can have a fun camp out in the barn."
"But Dad…"
"Gohan, you're young, but sometimes adults need to adult." He gently pushed his son towards the door, "Now get back inside before Mom gets back."
Icarus literally got in their way and started crying loudly.
Gohan looked up at Goku.
"Ok," Goku clapped his hands together. "We're going to do the Scratch the cat's kitchen counter technique."
Chichi came back over the hill fuming, her stomps making perfect ripple circles in any nearby drinks.
She saw Icarus laying at their door.
"Goku! I told you to get rid of that dragon!"
"He wouldn't calm down without Gohan! And Gohan isn't allowed out of the house! What? You wanted me to hurt an endangered species?"
"That's not what I meant and you know it!"
"So, no tail steak for dinner?"
"Don't change the subject!" Chichi marched down the hill.
She pointed the bloody tip of the rolling pin at his head. "Get that stupid grin off your face."
"What stupid grin?" Goku said with his stupid grin.
"I'm not in the mood for this, Goku. I've been trapped in the house for three days using kami damned buckets because we can only get to the outhouse at night. I have blood on my brand-new rolling pin and now I need to ask Dad for a new one." She turned her murderous glare to the silent crowd.
"And there's still a hundred people trespassing on my property!" She raised the bloody rolling pin, "Five! Four!"
Everyone dropped what they were holding and ran screaming to their vehicles.
Tires squealed and spun out as everyone raced towards the road.
Chichi ran after them, "Wait! Don't you DARE leave your trash here!"
Goku began to laugh.
Then came the crash. Then another. Then several more.
Goku floated up in the air.
There was a multi-car pileup where their long driveway met the dirt road.
Chichi was kicking a crumpled news van's door before she broke the window and ripped the entire door off the hinges. Chichi then moved to another vehicle. She looked up.
"Goku! What the hell are you looking at! Go get the ambulances! Carry them if you have to!"
Goku saluted and took off.
In her bedroom, Bulma was watching the news, the coffee she spit out still all over the table and dripping on the floor.
"Please don't send me back there to get the equipment," a man with his arm in a sling sobbed. "I don't care if I get fired. Those people are CRAZY!"
"Yes… Well," the male news anchor cleared his throat and shuffled his papers awkwardly, "We've all seen the same footage. And the people living in those mountains are a… unique and hardy people. I hope that boy enjoyed his evening with his grandparents. Sam Williams, reporting from Sedai Regional Hospital. And now onto sports…"
"That second shower was very less enjoyable than the first," Vegeta said walking out of the bathroom.
"I'm sorry, Vegeta… I can't believe they used that clip. Goku isn't even going to live long enough to have the heart virus."
Vegeta raised an eyebrow. "Do you think the time traveler lied?"
"No… just… Chichi is very private… kinda like you…"
"I actually understand Kakarot's obsession with this planet if that is his mate. After that performance with what I believe is considered your world's ultimate apex predator, she is really indistinguishable from a proper Saiyan woman."
She looked at him, "What about me?"
Vegeta laughed, "If you were a warrior, Frieza would be bowing at your feet…"
Bulma followed him with her eyes as he walked over and sat on the bed.
"… If I wasn't satisfied with that compromise on my end, I would not be in this room right now."
She smiled, twirling her finger at him, "You just like having your cherry finally popped."
Vegeta blushed. "You got your fantasy of fucking alien royalty and I got to fuck the warlord that toppled Frieza and could probably buy a used planet with her monthly allowance from her trillionaire daddy."
"You really think I could buy a planet?" Bulma said surprised.
Vegeta smirked, "Spoken like a true warlord. If you saved up, you could get a used up abandoned one pretty cheap—"
"And use the dragon balls to fix it up!"
Vegeta nodded. "Exactly."
"That's an idea we should look into after the androids."
"Wait, we? Bulma. There is no we here." Vegeta got up in her face, almost nose to nose. "I respect you. I have never felt that way before, and I'm admitting to that. The words have come out of my mouth and cannot be taken back. I am only here to kill your Goku. I am only helping with these so-called androids from the future because I want to make sure I'm the one to kill him. Your planet, your culture, it's infuriating and confusing and it gives me a fucking headache. I don't care."
Vegeta stood up. Then he saw Bulma's face.
He sighed and ran his hand through his still slightly damp hair. "Ok look. I'll compromise. Because I respect you. I'll pretend you're not going to resurrect Kakarot and if he leaves me alone, I'll leave him alone." He walked back to the bed and grabbed his boxers and sweatpants off the floor. "And once I rule my own empire…" he got dressed, "I'll send an intelligence officer or two to keep Earth updated on what's going on. If you do get that colony going it would make that easier in the long run. The man that killed Frieza is going to be the prized head in every person's collection, whether they do the deed themselves or hire out. Earth isn't ready for that type of attention."
Vegeta grabbed his shirt off the floor and walked to the door.
Bulma turned back to the TV. But noticed the sound of the sliding door never came.
She heard rapid footsteps and turned just in time for Vegeta to grab her coffee-stained luxury bathrobe and shove his tongue down her throat. Exactly how she taught him. Exactly how she liked it.
By the time they pulled away, they were both breathing heavily.
"Bulma, this was only ever going to last three years at most, because I'm leaving this planet one way or another. But as long as this doesn't interfere with my training, I am willing to make sure you never forget me." He whispered in her ear, "Because unlike that conservative country bumpkin who thought having sex in your private bathroom was too exotic for him, I have absolutely no morals whatsoever." He pulled back, "If you agree to always respect my no as I respect your no, will you also put in the same effort? So that I will never forget you?"
Bulma suddenly stood up.
Vegeta was worried for a split second until she grabbed his shirt and pushed hard against him.
He had a very Goku-like grin as he gave her the satisfaction of forcing him to the floor so violently, he bounced.
His sweatpants quickly got tossed into the air and dangled with a special up-close view of the city's high school basketball report on the large flat screen.
Not that anyone else in the room was listening.
The Aftermath…
The nuisance streamers were heavily fined and deported from Japan once their families paid their king's ransom. Ox-King used the money to buy two new fire trucks for the town.
Megan became a militant vegan and was arrested after filming herself setting fire to a popular seafood restaurant in Boston three years after her return from Japan.
Liam and Brock stayed with Alan's channel and the three were later arrested in Korea and never heard from again.
Jake and Nathan stayed together and became backpacking wildlife photographers. They now work for a private jungle resort in Costa Rica in their media department. Jake is married and expecting his first child. Nathan's cats are named Daedalus (Dallas) and Icarus. He has a CatTube channel dedicated to the orange brothers and their orange ways. Someone called Scratchheartsmonkeyhimbos with a bleeping void as the icon pic gives a hundred-dollar donation every weekly stream.
Tim dropped out of his Ivy League university and has been living in a luxury mental health retreat full time for crippling dendrophobia, ichthyophobia, carnophobia, and swinophobia.
His parents tried to sue the Sons. The Briefs intervened with a hostile takeover of their company, but struck a deal to keep paying for Tim's lifelong treatment. Ox-King was given the profits of selling all ten of their vacation homes, three private jets, two of the three helicopters, and other assets they had with the company to avoid taxes. Ox-King fixed up the castle and planted one thousand cherry trees to try and siphon off tourists from the major cherry festivals in the cities in the future.
The other helicopter was a model that could be turned into a lifeline transport owned by the town itself. A surprise gift. Ox-King diverted money from the two thousand trees he was originally planning to buy to build a helipad next to the road just outside of town.
Apparently, pterodactyls are like giant cats because every year a pair builds a nest perfectly in the white painted circle, leaving it unusable for a few months out of the year. Tom and Jerry are thankfully calm enough for photos and have a live feed from the security cameras on the hanger once the eggs appear for the interwebs. There is a nationwide online contest to name the new babies after ice cream every year and the forest service sends a tourist guide and a researcher to assist the town once the first tree branches appear.
Shortly after Gohan graduated middle school, he stood next to his grandfather as the Japanese Emperor gave Ox-King a medal for outstanding civil service for his efforts to build up Ox Castletown. He also was given a government budget for the first time and two dirt roads in the area would be paved and added to the national road network.
Ox-King gave a rousing speech in his native accent to a few quiet chuckles among the delegates at the crowded feast tables after the ceremony. But Gohan saw an immediate shift as his grandfather promised to work with the park service to preserve the land and stated, "Not one tree will be cut down without my permission."
Gohan hadn't felt this way since he battled Frieza's men on Namek; even Cell did not have this much hate and callousness.
He finally understood what his father made him promise on that fishing trip all those years ago. He was staring at the elderly faces of the men who left his father to die thinking he was a normal human child, and their sons who would make the same decision today with a modern child in the same situation.
He would become the greatest scientist and even a tenured professor, but when his grandfather died, Ox-Castle was his birthright. Mount Paozu was his birthright. He silently promised his father in heaven:
Not one tree will be cut down without my permission.
As Gohan was led to the side and introduced to all the emperor's single granddaughters and grandnieces in the after party, some ten years older and awkwardly even ten years younger, he also quietly decided to go to high school as far away as possible. Some place that would be the last place people would look for him where he could hide in the open as just a normal teenager...