Love Doesn't Change Chapter 1: Change, a 9-1-1 fanfic

Buck straps his boots. With a sigh he stands up, closing his locker, ready to start his shift.

As he walks out the changing room he moves things on his uniform to make sure it's in the right spot.

The shift starts like it always does. He helps Bobby in the kitchen make breakfast to get food on the table faster, hopefully before the bell rings. Once they eat, who's ever turn it is to clean does so, while some others help clean the table. The rest go and do their jobs. Buck's chore today is to help clean the table, then he's going to join Ravi in cleaning the engines. Have to make sure her shiny coat is glossy.

When he's done with that he's checking their equipment. Making sure it's clean and working.

He works until Eddie shows up for the start of his shift. Both of them have forty-eight hours. Though because his shift started earlier he gets off earlier, so once Buck is done with his shift he's going the Diaz house for Chris, letting Carla off. He may even end up staying the night, sleeping on the couch.

It's something that's sort of become a routine with them. Which Buck doesn't mind.

He's always been more than happy to hang out with them. He especially wants to help Eddie.

It's not fully because of his new found feelings, he knows he has a crush on Eddie (thank ex-now-turned-friend for pointing that one out), maybe it's more than a crush but he is trying hard not to think about it too much. If he does it may grow into something deeper. So it's in the back of his head. And he's going to keep it there.

He's not going to think deeper about wanting to be the first person to welcome Eddie into the firehouse. Or how he wants to say goodbye to Eddie first, last if they leave at the same time. And he knows he watches Eddie in his truck, waiting until he drives off first before he leaves himself. How he wants to hang out with Eddie as much as he can. Or how some recipes he's been learning are for him (and Chris of course) to enjoy.

The other reason is because he's sort of lonely. Maddie with Chim and Jee are a family. Athena and Bobby. Hen and Karen. Then there's Eddie and Chris. Sometimes he feels like he's intruding into their little family of two but at the same time he feels like they are the only ones who are okay with it. He doesn't feel as guilty if it's them. But there are days where he does feel a deep guilt so he stays away.

The bell rings loud bringing Buck out of his thoughts.

They talk and get more information inside the cabin.

A small facility is on fire.

Not that out of the ordinary.

Buck can't help but feel like he shouldn't cross the line with Eddie. For one Eddie is straight, and Buck doesn't think he's Eddie's type anyway. Two, what they have is too important and safe for it to get ruined by his rash thinking. They work as friends but as partners... no way. They are friends, which means Eddie can get some time away from Buck. Like a detox. A battery recharge. Buck would be too much. Eddie's past girlfriends have all been rather mellow.

It's better this way.

"LAFD! IS THERE ANYONE ELSE THERE!" Buck screams from deep within, trying to be heard over the oxygen mask. For a small facility it sure is packed.

Buck pauses when he hears a small 'help!' coming from the side. He makes his way there finding a door being blocked by some fallen rubble. It's a fallen filing cabinet. Buck sets his axe away, using as much strength as he can to move the heavy cabinet, most likely filled with papers. He does know this was a research facility of some sort but he's not sure. He could look into it once the fire is fully out. They are starting to contain it.

It should be close to being put out.

With gritted teeth Buck moves the cabinet to the side, ripping open the door to find a woman in a lab coat. She looks at Buck with relief in her eyes. Buck pulls his mask off to get her some clean air, she look like she's been in here for a long time.

"Thank you." She cries, as Buck takes a look over at her. She seems to be fine. No visible injury. Considering she jumped out of the room like it was on fire.

"No problem ma'am. Now let's get you out of here." Buck says reaching down for his axe, placing one of his gloved hand on her back to lead her towards the exit.

"No! What about Alex?" She wonders looking back.

"Who?" Buck asks, then shakes his head, that shouldn't be his priority. "Where are they?"

"In the back of this floor. That's their lab." She points further down the hallway. Around them is charred but they can still feel the heat of the fire surrounding them.

"I'll get them, but you need to leave. The path should be easy to follow." Buck tells her motioning for her to go, she hands the mask back and runs down the non fire filled path. Once the mask is back on he rushes forward.

Buck comes to a sliding stop at the lab. The room filled with papers, glass tubes, pitchers, and sealed canisters. Though nothing looks filled. The ceiling to floor window makes it easy to see inside, but the door to the room is covered. Buck squints his eyes, he sees the lab cluttered but he doesn't see anyone. "Alex!" Buck calls knocking on the glass. Shocked it hasn't shattered.

His head snaps down to where he hears a slight tap against the glass window. He finds someone pinned against the corner of the room of the lab. "Alex! I'm going to get you! Are you injured?" Alex shakes their head vigorously.

"Don't-!" Buck looks over to the door then to where Alex is. Even if he scrounge up as much strength as he can to get the door uncovered he will still need to make his ways to this corner and from the looks of the room it would take too long. He needs to get to Alex fast. He needs a shortcut.

What better way to do that than to cut his way in?

"Look way Alex!" Buck intructs as he raises his axe, as hard as he can he lodges the sharp blade of the axe into the glass. It cracks around where his axe is now lodged. It didn't shatter like he sort of expected it to. "I'm doing it again!" Buck pulls the axe out, then once again, a little lower than the first. With a soft spot made, Buck takes out the axe, then uses his foot to break a hole into the room.

He makes sure it's big enough for him and a guest before going in. He maneuvers his way around the room until he's in the corner. Luckily it's all papers, boxes and crates of paper with some broken glass that he has to worry about. He finds a spot next to Alex thats free. He gets down, taking off his mask for Alex to also use for the time being.

"Hey Alex, are you feeling any pain?"

Alex shakes their head, "y-y-you s-sho-shouldn't have c-come in here." They say with a rough and deep voice.

"I wasn't going to leave you behind." Buck smiles at him. "Can you tell me how you feel?"

"M-my head hurts a-and so does my l-leg but that i-it."

"What about your spine?" Buck asks taking a look at the parts he does have access to. He doesn't look to bad. Just a bit banged up. It shouldn't be dangerous to move him. "Can you feel your feet?"

"Yeah. It's just my head that's killing me. My body aches though." He says. Buck takes a looks shifting on his knees. His hand movement makes a small splash. Looking down Buck finds an pinkish liquid.

"Wha-?" Buck starts to question.

"It's n-not dangerous but that's w-why I said not to come inside."

"Then what is it?" Buck looks at the other curiously and worried.

"I... you wouldn't believe me if I told you. But you've been exposed to it when you came inside." Alex gives him a grim smile. Buck looks at the hole he made. "I made three version of it, a gas, liquid, and powder to see what's most effective. They work just as well as each other. I dropped a canister when the fire started."

"The hole...?" Buck points out, he knows he's rash but how was he supposed to know?

"The effects will die off. It only works near the closer one is to the initial point of release being this room. No one else should be affected besides you. I'm sure the fire will kill the effects in total for the other versions." Alex tells him.

"Okay then." Buck nods as he stands up, "that's something I will worry about later. When I've got you out. I'm going to try to move this table that's on you. Yell if it hurts." Buck instructs him. Alex nods.

Just as Buck has an idea on what to do the building starts to shake. Buck ducks looking around. Did something rupture? Did something reignite the fire? From the corner of his eye he spots a shelf shaking dangerously. Without thinking much, Buck takes his helmet and places it on top of Alex's head, with a hand against the wall, Buck shields his body as much as he can from the glass on those falling shelves. Buck makes sure to place a gloved hand on his neck to protect himself.

Buck lets out a scream as he feels something fall on top of him. Powder getting into his hair. Then some sort of liquid. It soaking into his hair, falling to the side until it's at the corner of his lips.

"This is Captain Nash, I want all firefighters to retreat from the building. We need all hands at the engines and firehoses." Bobby's voice is heard from the radio on Buck's shoulder. Buck opens his eyes at the command. He looks straight into Alex brown eyes. He could never leave anyone behind.

"On it cap."

"Understood."

"Coming out now."

Buck shakes his head of whatever fell on top of him, spitting as it had gotten into his mouth listening to others answer to Bobby. "Did it enter?" Alex asks looking at him worried.

"Yeah. But like I said I can deal with that later. Let's save you first. We don't have much time." Buck says wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his turnout. He takes his helmet back. He grabs his axe to start on the work. Breaking the desk as much as he can.

Bobby can write him up later.

Plus they might need to talk to Alex later about whatever he was doing in here and that Buck unintentionally inhaled/consumed.

With Alex in his arms, and his axe strapped to his waist, Buck hightails it out of there. Running as fast as he can go. "I'm sorry." Alex says though Buck doesn't like the way he's sounding.

"It's okay. Things happen on this job."

"No I meant with the gas and what got in your mouth. Not only did you get the gas version but the liquid and powder version. I haven't tested what happens when you consume all three version, just one at a time."

"Let's just wait until we get out of here."

"I'm... s-sorry. I-it w-was onl-only... m-meant for m-me." Alex says, slurring at the end. Buck looks down to see Alex eyes have closed and his body is more laxed. Shit he fainted or something. Buck could only go off what he say and what Alex told him. What if he had some internal injury of somesort?

When he reaches outside, with it being still day Buck squints his eyes at the sudden light shift. He looks around looking for a free gurney. He finds one, rushing over. He bites his tongue as a heavy wave of dizziness hits him. Then a wave of pain erupts everywhere but he keeps it in as he rushes to the gurney. Setting Alex on top.

"His name is Alex! He was trapped! He's got a head wound but other than that he said he was fine. He passed out as we came out." Buck tells the EMT. She nods.

"I got this firefighter." She says seriously rushing him to a free ambulance.

Buck twists to help put the rest of this damn fire out, the adrenaline is running high as he barefly feels the pain or headache.

He helps fight the fire as pain erupts in every part of his body. As if his bones itself are breaking, his muscles tearing apart. His stomach getting rearranged. But he doesn't say or do anything. He helps get the fire out first saving the worries for later.

The fire is fully put out two hours later. The firefighters all crowd Bobby. He's looking at everyone, most likely doing a headcount. Buck isn't paying attention though, he's on the other side of the fire engine, on the other side of Bobby, one hand leaning against the side to keep his body up. With the fire out he had thrown up a bit, he was going to make his way to Bobby but his bones hurt once more, but this was different than the other times. It felt like someone extracted every single piece of bone, all 206 pieces, and decided to crush them. Like someone was playing with his muscles. All at the same time.

With all that pain he didn't notice the other way his body is changing. Or has changed.

His boots feel like they are way to big, actually... all his clothes seem way too big to be on him. As if he shrunk. But that's not the only odd thing. His chest is different. He's always had a nice chest, he's been complimented on them, but they are no longer like he remembers. They've grown now and are sagging. Not what he's use to. But the main problem, for him, is the situation between his legs. It's now more free. Empty.

Buck takes a deep breath in, then a long exhale out.

In. Out.

In then out.

Nope, it's still like this.

He decides to check, looking under his shirt he finds breast. Oh, wonderful.

But the pain has stopped now. He's starting to feels something else though. He does not like this.

"We're missing one!" Bobby shouts on the other side. He must have counted them.

"Hey, I can't find Buck." Eddie says looking around, usually they find each other. He looks to see Hen and Chimney also looking around for the 118 golden retriever.

"Firefighter Buckley please report in." Bobby says sternly into the radio. They can all see the fear in his eyes though. "Buckley." Bobby calls again only to get radio silence. Eyes on the way Eddie, Hen and Chimney look at each other, they have this look in their eyes. Ready to jump into action.

"I-I'm here." A very feminine voice cracks from the side. Bobby snaps his head over his shoulder. They all stare at the figure behind consumed by firefighter gear one arm up holding a hand raised up, the other holding onto the turnout pants to keep them up. The helmet so big it's reaching up to the person's eyes.

"B-Buck?" Bobby asks to make sure. He seems shorter than he should. Bobby, Hen, Chimney and Eddie circle Buck, the other crowd a few feet back.

"Yeah. I did something stupid... again." Buck says trying to hold up his pants, the suspenders are not meant for his now much smaller shoulders. His gloves are also too large and his arms are shorter so his turnout sleeves are too long for him.

"This... is a joke right?" Chimney wonders looking at the others face, everyone staring unbelieving.

Buck frowns, not that Chimney can see his face. "I wouldn't joke about this!" Buck shouts stepping forward, though the boots are now too large to properly walk in them, so he ends up tripping over his own feet. Landing onto the concrete floor hands first. "Damn." Buck says, helmet finally coming off, revealing long dark blonde hair. Buck struggles to get his bearing to stand up. Once he does he takes hold of his helmet. As he gets up he quickly uses his other hand to push back his now long hair revealing his face.

Nicer and thinner eyebrows. A smaller nose. A straight jawline. Pink lips. Those bright blue eyes of Bucks. And last but not least, that same familiar, unique birthmark right on his eyebrow.

At the sight of the still reddish mark they all gasp. No one can mistake that.

"Buck!" They all shout in unison.

Buck pouts at them. "That's what I told you." Buck huffs at them, moving to once again makes sure his pants doesn't fall.

"What happened?" Eddie wonders.

"How did this happen?" Chimney wonders.

"Is it... all?" Hen wonders looking from his head to toe.

"Buck, start from the beginning." Bobby tells him calmly though they all know he's as shocked as the rest of them.

"I went to rescue Alex. He was in the far end in a lab. I went in to save him. It turns out he was experimenting with something. I'm guessing it's this." Buck motions to his body. "When the fire started he said he dropped a consister of gas. When I broke the window to get to him I exposed myself to it. Then things started to drop, there was a liquid and powder. I got it into my mouth. He wouldn't tell me what it was." Buck rambles on, waving his arms. Only to realize he needs to hold his pants up. With a squeak he reaches for them as they begin to fall.

"Okay. First, are you hurt?" Bobby wonders.

"Besides my pride as a man? I'm fine." Buck answers.

"I don't think you had much of that." Chimney jokes. Buck looks at Chim with a glare, very similar to Bucks usual look.

"If that's the case then wait in the engine. We'll find out what to do at the firehouse." Bobby cuts in before that goes anywhere else. "Hen do a small physical just in case."

"Got it." Hen nods.

"But I said I'm fine." Buck looks at Bobby then at Hen.

"It's just a precaution." Bobby tells him, in that fatherly tone he only ever uses with Buck.

"Fine." Buck agrees, giving in. He turns around and shuffles his way to to the cabin of the engine. He pauses at the snickers. He decides to ignore them and continue, even if his ears burn.

"Having trouble?" Hen wonders with a mirthful grin.

"M-my boots don't fit anymore." Buck answers.

Buck sits in the middle of the cabin, stuck between Hen and Chim. Arms crossed over his chest. He doesn't like everyone eying him like some clown. But he can understand why they would. He must look odd.

More like a child playing with their parent clothes. His clothes dwarfing his size now. Especially his helmet, covering over most of his face. Buck swats at himself as his own hair tickles himself. He grumbles. It just had to be him.

Though, he is grateful for the helmet giving him some coverage. Hiding his face from Eddie. In turn hiding Eddie from his eyes. As he wait with Hen he didn't think much of Eddie, to busy thinking about what will happen to him now? Will he stay like this or will he be able to turn back?

But now that he's in front of Eddie once again, sitting on the seat behind captain, he's nervous. Like some teenage girl. What does Eddie think? Is this going to change things?

Buck shifts in his seat, the action causing his helmet to be pushed forward, covering his face. Buck grumbles more, reaching up to fix it even as he hears Chim chuckle. Buck lets out a sigh. Honestly not the most embarrassing thing he's done, hell, looking back on it, his time before Bobby set him straight is embarrassing. Buck 1.0, as he calls it. That was embarrassing. Sometimes he still can't believe he did that stuff.

Once at the firehouse everyone disembark, taking off their turnouts and putting them in place to be cleaned and set up for later. Buck trails behind, watching as everyone groans, heading to the shower.

Carefully Buck exits the cabin, stumbling a bit as he lands on his feet. He looks around, the house somewhat empty. He shuffles forward, unsure what to do.

"You okay Buck?" Bobby asks standing by the stairs. He's still in his turnouts, mostly likely to do some paperwork.

"Um, well..." Buck look at Bobby then over to the door that leads into the showers most of the others have gone to. Hen, Chimney and Eddie have stopped to look at him.

"Are you not going to shower?" Chimney wonders, ready with a joke already.

"I would but... what do I change into?" Buck asks them.

"Come with me. You too Hen." Bobby says motioning for them to follow him. "Leave the turnouts you can clean up after we get you situated." Bobby instructs. Bucks nods with a smile. He steps out his boots, lets his pants fall but not his uniform pants, then gets his turnout off, shaking his gloves off. Once left in his oversized uniform they get a better understanding what's changed.

"Go ahead boys." Hen motions for Chimney and Eddie to go take their shower. Knowing since she's the only other female on the team of course she's going to help Buck as he is now. Buck happily rushes to join Bobby at the stairs, like a pup following its master, one hand still holding up his pants. Hen follows after.

Bobby leads them to the storage room, then going further in. "Was there always a storage room within the storage room?" Buck wonders looking around like a child full of wonder. Bobby chuckles as he flips the light on. The room is small and full of boxes.

"Yes it's always been here. You may find some things for Buck to use for now. There should also be extra LAFD uniforms in case. They vary in sizes so you should find one that fits."

"Why is this here cap?" Hen wonders searching the boxes for Buck, knowing he won't know what to look for. Or how to size it properly.

"The extra uniforms are just in case someone needs a rental for the moment as they wash theirs. The other stuff is for civilians who may need to change. You never know." Bobby says with a grin and a shrug of his shoulder. Their mind going to that one woman who slept drove her way here naked. "I'll be in my office. Come see me when your done Buck." Bobby informs them closing the door. Leaving the two alone.

"Alright Buck, let's see what fits you best." Hen says holding a bra from one of the boxes. Buck gulps loudly which only fuels Hen smile.

Buck huff as he looks himself in the mirror. Turning one way then the other. Trying to get a good idea of his new figure. The uniform help, now that he's wearing one that fits. His legs are shorter (of course) but still long. His hip are about the same, if not larger now, being accentuated by his very cinched waist. His arms are normal, unless he flexed them then they grow. Not abnormally large, he's not really a bodybuilder just fit. His shoulders are small. He's still has his muscles, just not as pronounced as he is in his male body. Then there's his breast and vagina. His bra isn't the best, it's a bit uncomfortable but what does he expect from generic black bra, at least the matching generic thick black panties aren't uncomfortable.

It's still embarrassing to think about. Having breast and a vagina. As much as he likes breast and pussy like any other guy he never wanted one. He never once thought about what it might feel like but what's done is done.

Or maybe, who knows, this is all a dream and he and Alex are trapped in that lab, both passed out.

Buck shakes his head. That's a morbid thought honestly. It's best not to go down that road, at all.

"Here let me brush your hair." Hen says coming up behind Buck as he ties his new shoes on. Hen gives him a high ponytail.

"Thanks Hen, might need to teach me later." Buck looks up at Hen with a smile.

"Of course. Now go, don't keep Bobby waiting." Hen shoos him. Buck jumps up like normal, walking like normal, sort of, through the familiar firehouse. His home. Though the free space between his legs feel so off. But he's getting use to it.

Buck beelines to Bobby office. Hen, Chim and Eddie watching from afar Buck knock, then enter the room.

"So how was it?" Chim asks. "Helping Buckaroo?"

"It was... odd." Hen says tilting her head. Both Chim and Eddie look at her with a raised eyebrow. She turns to them. "Buck seemed... shy."

"Our Buck?" Chim asks to make sure.

"Yeah. That's why it's odd. But once he got dressed he seem better. He was even checking himself in the mirror." Hen smirks at the memory, even though it just happened not too long ago.

"To be fair, I'd be shy too. It's one thing to be use to seeing a women's body it's whole other thing tohavea woman's body." Eddie says. Chim nods.

"True. This all feels like a dream." Chim says. Hen and Eddie make eye contact, with a smirk both punch Chim in the arm. "Ow!" Chim says jumping away from them as he rubs his arm.

"Not a dream." Eddie smirks. Chim rolls his eyes.

"To be honest Buck is handling it better than anyone else should." Hen points out.

"He's handling it better than I ever could." Chim says.

"That's for sure." Hen says. Eddie nods.

"I wonder how long this will last?" Eddie says.

"I'd say get use to the worse case scenario. This lasting forever." Hen says.

"I guess with Buck luck, that makes sense." Chim points out. Eddie grimaces because of the truth.

The door to Bobby office opens and Buck walks out. He spots them, and his whole face lights up. Like always. Excited Buck goes to them.

"Hey guys!" Buck calls them happily, he reaches up to lean against a beam but with his new size he doesn't reach so he falls forward. "Woah! Shit!" Buck screams as he face plants. His face erupts in pain. Nope not a dream.

"Are you okay?" Eddie says rushing forward, Hen coming to the other side to help Buck up to his feet.

"Yeah fine. Just surprised. I forgot..." Buck says dusting himself off. Buck looks up to see he's almost face to face with Eddie. Buck blinks. He's so use to being taller than Eddie. Buck raises his hand up to his forehead, then measures it against Eddie. They are about eye to eye, maybe Buck is a millimeter taller. Not a noticeable difference, still Buck smiles. "Hey, I'm still taller."

Eddies eyes widen. Before he can say anything Bobby speaks up. "Hen take Buck to the hospital for a deep physical."

"Now?" Buck and Hen ask at the same time.

"Now." Bobby answers tone serious. There's no arguing against his orders.

The two walk out to the rescue truck. Hen in the driver's seat as Buck sits in the passenger seat. As Hen starts the truck, Buck lets out a huff as he crosses his arms. Hen glances at Buck then back at the road. "It's for your safety Buck."

"What?" Buck looks at Hen confused.

"The physical?"

"Oh no I get that. It's just... this bra is so uncomfortable." Buck groans shifting in his seat, moving the seat belt from digging into breasts.

"Oh, that must mean it doesn't fit correctly. We'll just take a quick shopping trip to get you two good bras for work." Hen takes note of Buck breast, then focuses on the road.

"Just two?" Buck asks.

"Yeah, trust me just finding two good bras is good."

"Don't they get dirty?"

"Sure. That's why you have two, to use one while the other is getting washed."

"Do you only have two? Why only two? Don't women have more than that?" Buck wonders, looking at Hen with so much confusion.

"Sure but those are for special occasions. I'm sure the ones you've seen are the women's special ones. To show off knowing they'd be seen." Hen explains.

"Oh... do all women do that?"

"I'm guessing, but everyone is different."

"What about lingerie?"

Hen almost runs them off the road. But she holds on, knowing Buck is just curious. Answering question after question. Going down a rabbit hole, now understanding why he always has so many facts when he walks in. This is how he goes down internet rabbit holes. It's a bit endearing.

Hen feels a bit sad when she sends Buck on his own with a doctor, as if sending her child lonely for the first time. Or like an older sister. She can see why Maddie is so soft with him.

After an hour of waiting she decides to check if everything is okay. She gets closer to the room. "That makes no sense!" Buck exclaims in shock. Hen rushes forward.

"What's wrong?" Hen asks looking at Buck then the doctor in the room.

"My leg is... fine. No damage. At all." Buck says looking down at the tablet in hand.

"What? How's that possible?" Hen asks stepping beside Buck.

"And everything is okay?" Buck wonders, looking at the doctor.

"Yes. As it should be. Am I missing something?" She asks looking at them both. Buck looks at Hen, who looks back at him.

"It's complicated and unbelievable." Hen says moving to make sure they have privacy.

"I was a man... five hours ago." Buck tell the doctor.

"How is...?" The doctor looks at them both.

"It's true. Here," Buck pulls out his phone. He pulls up an interview they did for the firehouse like a week or two ago. The doctor watches it, eyes going from Hen to Buck then back to the screen. Her eyes slowly widen when more information is out, like the date. It should be impossible but here Buck is.

"What happened?" She asks them.

"A fire in a facility. I got caught in it, what ever Alex was researching. He's a patient now."

"The x-ray does not lie. What ever happened to you healed your bones. What did you say your name is?"

"Even Buckley."

"We are going to do a deep dive." The doctor says seriously. Buck grimaces at that, he's not going to like this is he?

"Are you okay?"

"I feel violated."

"It... it was a pap smear Buck. To make sure down there is healthy."

"Have you done that before?" Buck turns to her, eyes wide.

"Yeah. Every women does and should."

"Why would they use that to stick up there?" Buck says holding his knees close together. Hen lets out a chuckle at Buck frown.

"It's how it's done." Hen shrugs her shoulders.

"They can't use something softer? How long were we there for?" Buck wonders.

"Three hours. They really took their time. Can't blame them though. The only thing that knows that you were a man is your brain, your memories." Hen says.

"Let's just hurry to the firehouse." Buck relaxes in his seat.

"Not until we get you a new bra. I saw them digging into your skin." Hen says. Buck makes a face.

"Now?"

"Yes now. You can't do your job correctly if you're uncomfortable Buck." Hen tells him.

"It's just... weird for me. I'm not used to to this."

"No one is expecting you to be okay. But until Alex wakes up you're stuck like this. Dr. Johnson and Dr. Grayson told us they'd keep you in the loop. You just have to wait." Hen says. Buck nods thinking back. Dr. Johnson had called her husband Dr. Grayson in. Turns out Alex is his patient. Plus they were both fascinated by Buck's case. X-rays, MRI's, blood tests, Catscans, and the dreaded pap smears.They did everything.

Luckily Buck wasn't alone during then. Hen was there for support, plus she understood the medical jargon that Buck wouldn't. At least buying a bra with Hen is hundred percent better than all that. And he'd like to get on a bra that fits.

"Everything okay?" Bobby asks as they walk in.

"Define okay?" Buck wonders going to put the new bra on. Hen stops next to Bobby, both watching Buck.

"Buck healthy cap. So healthy it's like he was never a firefighter." Hen explains. Then shakes her head, "no it's more likes he's not Buck." Bobby looks at her confused.

"His leg?"

"Completely healed. The fracture gone. His arm from when he was a kid, also gone. All test resulted in a perfect bill of health. It actually made it seem like Buck was born a woman. Like he never was pinned under the engine. Like Buck isn't our Buck." Hen frowns.

"Is there a way to turn him back?"

"No." Hen shakes her head. "Not until Alex wakes up."

"How's he taking it?"

"Better than I could ever take the news." Hen says with a smirk. Then she gets serious. "It bothers him, as it should but I told him he's still our Buck.Hehasn't changed just his gender. And to be patient. This might end before he knows it."

"If that's the case he's going to need replacement gear." Bobby says turning in time to see Buck walking to them.

"Anything I can do?" Buck wonders.

"You need to reorganize your equipment. There should be replacements but I'll need to order a new turnout and gear with your name on it. Set up like you know we're about to leave." Bobby tells him. Buck nods.

"Right." Buck nods turning to get to work. He had forgotten the fact he needs new things. Now that things have settled he needs to make sure he has what he needs. He can't save people if he's not prepared.

And that's what he's focusing on.

He's a firefighter and he can help as he is. Like Hen told him. Nothing's changed. Especially if he doesn't let it.

"Hey, welcome back." Chim says to Hen who sat at the table on her phone. Hen raises an eyebrow at her co-worker.

"I can say the same to you." Hen says as Eddie comes in behind Chim.

"You both were gone long." Eddie adds joining her.

"It took longer than we thought."

"Where is he?"

"Running around here somewhere. Getting his equipment ready for the next call. Where'd you guys go?"

"Got a call to help a man who was stuck."

"Oh? Stuck how?" Hen looks up. Chim and Eddie looks at each other. "Must have been bad." Hen says with a chuckle.

"Do we have anything to snack on?" Buck calls as he rushes up the stairs. He jumps into the kitchen, looking around.

"Bobby saved you a sandwich." Hen tells him.

"Yes." Buck looks for it.

"Have you finished?" Hen questions as Buck pulls out a plate with a sandwich on it. Buck takes off the saran wrap, throwing it in the trash.

"Yeah, it took a while to find things that fit but I got it. And I've double checked everything." Buck answers as he walks to the table. At the table he spots Chim and Eddie, he beams at them. "Hey welcome back." Buck says. Chim and Eddie only continue to stand in place staring at Buck. They are not use to it yet.

"I think Bobby is working hard to get your turnout so it should be here any day now." Hen adds.

Buck nods as he takes a bite.

"How was the check up?" Eddie asks. Buck just gives him a thumbs up as he chews.

"Clean bill of health." Hen voices for Buck.

It's quiet as Buck eats, Chim has not looked away.

"Have you told Maddie about this yet?" Chim asks.

"No." Buck says slowly. "Should I?" Buck wonders looking at them all.

"Yeah. I think that would be a good idea." Chim says.

"Honestly I thought you'd be telling her." Buck says looking at Chim. Chim looks back with mock offense.

Though who knows how long he'll be like this. It would be wise to warn her before she accidentally sees and doesn't know who he is.

Hen and Buck are playing games when the bell goes off. Both rush off with the others to the engine. Getting their gear on.

Once they get there they take a moment to take in what is happening. A naked women lay almost flat on top of the glass roof of the building. "How did...?" Buck starts.

"She fell." Athena says coming up to them.

"From where? The sky?" Hen asks.

"Her apartment balcony." Athena points to the building right next to this one. One balcony is broken.

"So... what's the plan? I don't think we can just walk on the glass." Buck looks at Bobby.

"Chim and Eddie get something below her. Buck and Hen are to get her. Bring a blanket."

"Right," Hen looks at the building. When she looks over to Buck he is also looking, trying to plan their way to her. Looks like they are strapping themselves up and going to keep themselves on the beams in between each pain of glass. The last thing they want is to put pressure on the large piece of glass she's landed on.

With the ladder set up Buck and Hen get their straps on. Then they carefully ascend the ladder, Hen with her medical bag and Buck with his own bag and blanket. Once at top Buck, being front, unattach himself from the ladder to reattach himself to the building somehow for safety. As Hen follows in his footsteps Buck moves forward, avoiding stepping on any class. "LAFD! Can you answer me?" Buck asks.

"H-help!"

"We're on our way, can you tell me if you're injured?" Buck wonders as he gets closer.

"I-I don't know." She says.

"Hen," Buck whispers, "I see blood."

"Got it." Hen says. Both separate, getting on either side of her.

"Hey, what's your name? Mine is Buck." He asks as he gets closer to her.

"B-Buck?" She looks over to him, he can see the confusion in her eyes.

"It's a nickname I prefer than what my parents named me."

"W-what did they name you? M-my name is Christy." She says moving.

"Don't move!" Buck and Hen yell. They pause as they hear faint cracking. The two firefighters look at each other. They need to work fast.

"My name is Evan-Lyn." Buck adds forgetting for a second. Hen moves closer to get a look at her. She looks fine, maybe in for few stitches but nothing life threatening for now. It helps the women is completely naked besides wearing some nice pink panties.

"Evelyn? I-I'd stick with Buck too." Buck laughs at her answer.

"So how'd you find yourself here?"

"Being stupid. I was trying so hard to impress a guy."

"Hey that's not stupid."

"From where I'm laying it is. I did everything he asked, I wanted him to like me. This time he wanted sex on the balcony. I decided to draw the line right there. We fought."

"Do you feel any pain?" Hen wonders, wanting to get near her but with that cracking it might be dangerous to step up. The glass wasn't made for humans to step on it.

"N-no, I just ache." She says looking over.

"It looks like you haven't broken anything. You may just have scratches and bruising to worry about after we get you down." Hen says. Buck looks over to see from where they are her balcony isn't that high up. Maybe two floors higher.

"And how are you going to do that?" She asks them.

"That's a good question." Buck says, taking a look around. He can't see a way to get to her. "I'm going to place the blanket over you." Buck says, feeling that's the least he can do.

"Y-you must have men throwing themselves at you." She says looking at Buck.

"Um... well... I use to have women jump all over me." Buck answers looking one way then other. What can they do to get her. Should they reach over and pull her?

"Oh..."

"But I have had some boyfriends. Nothing works... on either side." Buck says. Hen looks over at Buck. Boyfriends? As far as she knows Tommy is his first. Are they not dating? Since when?

"Why not?"

"I don't know." Buck shrugs as he tries to think. "It just hasn't worked out with anyone. I'm going slow so- CHRISTY!" Buck shouts diving forward, scooping Christy in his arms. The glass breaking underneath her.

"Buck!" Hen shouts as the two fall. Her voice covering over two other voices yelling his name.

"Okay. We're okay." Buck says looking up to Hen. Hen lets out a breath, seeing Buck hang there.

"I-I t-thought..."

"Are you okay?" Hen asks

"I'm fine." Buck answers, securing the blanket around Christy.

"J-j-just shocked." Christy answers holding onto Buck, who is looking down.

"We're going to drop down." Buck says seeing the large inflatable pad underneath them.

"What?" Christy looks at Buck wide eyed.

"Don't worry." Buck smiles. "It'll be okay." Christy nods.

"I'll meet you outside." Hen says.

Buck nods. "Ready?" Buck ask.

"Y-yes." Christy answers but she sounds scared, Buck smiles as he undoes his straps. Christy yells into his ears as they fall. Both feeling weightless. And it's exhilarating.

They land on the rescue pad. Buck grunts as Christy falls on top of him. Taking a moment to get his breath.

Buck climbs out first meeting Eddie and Chim. Before anything can be said Buck turns around to help Christy.

"Here." Buck says before carrying Christy in his arms bridal style. Not wanting her to step on glass. "Let's get you checked by Hen." Buck says walking out the place, after a good look he finds it's a library.

"Well I feel completely useless." Chim says moving forward to deflate the pad.

"Yup." Eddie agrees moving forward to help. He understands why cap sent Buck with Hen. The woman would have felt less embarrassed with other women tending to her. Plus Buck is very good at talking to patients. He just feels like they are drifting apart. It hasn't even been a day.

Outside Buck sets Christy on the gurney. Hen rushing to them.

"Buck!" He turns to his name being called, finding Athena walking to him. Right, she must be shocked. Once she's close she takes a look at him. "He wasn't lying." She says with that look in her eyes, she analyzing him. Most likely taking note over what's changed. Which is everything.

Before Buck can say anything, "Christy!" A man yells as he runs over. Shirt unbuttoned and uneven. Pants unzipped, and he's still got slippers on.

"Dan?" Christy looks at the man as he rushes to her, fully surprised.

"Are you okay?" He asks getting close, looking as scared as Christy looks.

"Yeah, why are you still here? I didn't think you'd stick around." She asks pulling the blanket more secure around herself.

"Why wouldn't I? I... love you. If I made you uncomfortable you could have said. You seemed to like everything so..." he shrugs, a blush on his cheeks.

"I've never done what we have before but I haven't completely hated it." Christy tells him, a blush on her cheeks too.

"You seem fine but I'd go to the hospital just in case, you don't want those scratches to get worse. They could have splinters from where you fell off your balcony. Plus they'll lend you some clothes." Hen says.

"Can I ride with her?"

"Of course." Hen smiles.

Buck hops down the engine closing the door behind him. He's putting his things away when he feels someone standing close to him. Turning he comes face to face with Hen. Her eyes staring right into his soul. He jumps back, pressing his body close to the open hangers for their helmets and turnouts are placed. "Woah!" Buck exclaims. "What are you doing Hen?" He asks. He sees Chim and Eddie walking to them. Hen steps back, placing her hand on her hip.

"When did you and Tommy break up?" She asks.

"Wait you and Tommy broke up?" Chim asks very shocked, sharing expressions with Eddie. Buck grimaces, having forgotten he hinted at that. He sort of hoped she wouldn't take note of that.

"It's been months now." Buck answers looks at Hen.

"Is that why we haven't seen him around?" Chim asks.

"No. It's..." Buck sighs, no use keeping it hidden. "We mutually agreed to break up. I still talk to him but... it wouldn't work. He's in New York." Buck eyes unconsciously go to Eddie, catching himself he looks over to Hen again.

"Why is he there?" She asks confused.

"Promotion. A firehouse in Texas never made it back from a fire, except one person. The department needed someone to start the firehouse over again, to rebuild it. They asked someone from New York to take it, and he did. But that left two spots open for the station in New York."

"So he went for it." Hen steps closer lowering her arms from her hip.

"Yeah. He became the captain. We tried to make it work. But with the time difference... it was hard. I mean he's all the way on the other side of the country. We just decided to stay friends instead." Buck looks down.

"I'm sorry Buck."

"Me too."

"I know how much you liked him." Hen says placing a hand on his shoulder for comfort.

"It's okay. It's been months now. I've gotten over it." Buck gives them a smile, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. He's obviously hurting. "He found someone else." Buck adds softly.

"Buck I need assistance." Bobby calls from the loft.

"Coming." Buck says, a knee jerk reaction now. The three watch as Buck rushes to his master. They had so much more to say, to comfort him but maybe that would make it worse. Buck seems fine.

Buck turns his head. Eddie sleeping in his bed next to his own, Bobby sleeping on the other side of him. Buck let's a breath out.

He shifts turning his back to Eddie. It's been... off since he's been like this. And they still have one more day to their shift. Though the only bright side Buck can see is getting off work earlier than Eddie. But the thought doesn't make him happy at all. Not with the small amount that they were able to talk it was about forgetting their plans.

With how he looks now, seeing Chris would confuse the child. Buck wouldn't know where to start with explaining what is going on. Plus that conversation seems like something his father should have not him. He's just a friend.

Other than that they haven't talked much. It helps (or not) that Bobby has been teaming him up with Hen for the rest of the day. So he hasn't gotten time to be with Eddie and talk besides the cancel of plans. Which is something he understands.

Dinner was, give or take, the same. The crew talking. Playing popcorn with the different topics. It was like normal, even if Eddie was at the different end of the table. Plus they played some games after dinner. But they haven't done much hanging out.

Guess this needs time to get use to. Which is fair considering Buck is still adjusting as well.

Buck sits up with a sigh.

He can't sleep. And as dramatic as it would be to say it's because Eddie it's not because of his friend (crush). It's another problem. Softly he makes his way off the bed. With his socked feet he tip toes his way to the only person that can help him. Hen. He gets down next to her bed. "Hen." He whispers. "Hen." He whispers again, this time tapping on her shoulder lightly. He does it once more, as she begins to stir.

"What?" She asks groggily.

"I need help." Buck whispers.

"With?" Hen reaches for her glasses.

Buck gives her a grin, she doesn't need to see in the dark to know that's what he's doing, "I really need to... go to the bathroom." Buck says having leaned in to tell her.

"Seriously?"

"Yes. I've been holding it for hours now. I don't know what to do." He says pleading with her. She can never say no to those ocean blue puppy eyes.

"Fine." She huffs standing up with Buck who smiles. She grabs a flashlight so they don't make to much noise. She leads Buck to the restroom. Turning the flashlight off as the light of the bathroom turns on. Going past the mirror and sinks, three on either side, into the stall area. Three stalls on either wall. On the back wall is the urinals for the men. Buck peaks his head to the first stall. "Well?" She asks Buck as he stares at it.

"Fine. Just... sit right?" Buck wonders walking in. He closes the stall.

"Yeah. Just sit, it's simple really." Hen says, not believing this is happening to her. Why her?

"Okay then what?" Buck asks to cover the noise of him peeing.

"Then grab toilet paper to wipe."

"Okay." Buck says. "Do I wipe from the back or front?"

"The front, back to front." Hen moves her glasses up to pinch the bridge of her nose. She is not having this conversation.

"How many times?"

"As many times as it take to be clean." Hen says.

Not long does Hen hear the toilet flush. Buck steps out looking happier. He keeps his hand up as he goes to the sink to wash his hands. "Now I know why the women's bathroom is always so full." Buck says.

"Why did you even hold it for so long?"

"I was going to just go but then I realized it's not the same. I was going to ask you but then I forgot and didn't need to go anymore. Then you were busy and I didn't want to ask you in front of everyone." Buck says.

"If you need something just text me." Hen says.

"Noted." Buck smiles at her as he dries his hands.

"So," Hen starts as she crosses her arms over her chest leaning against the wall, "are you okay?"

"Yeah. I feel much better. I think now I can sleep since I peed." Buck nods, large smile on his face.

"No I mean with Tommy." Hen asks.

His smile fades slowly. "Oh, um yeah. It's fine."

"Buck." Hen says his name, giving him a look. Buck stares at her, then looks away. Hen nods. Yeah, she thought he was trying to be strong for them. Makes sense. "Come on." Hen grabs hold of his wrist pulling him up to the loft. She sits him on the couch as she goes to the kitchen. She quickly warms some milk with honey. She hands him one cup as she sits next to him with her own. "Tell me the truth. It's just us."

Buck stares at her. Then he looks away, down at his lap, at the cup of warm milk. "Is it that obvious?" He wonders.

"No. But I know Tommy is like having your first all over again. That's why I'm asking. Plus you said boyfriends. So I know after Tommy you must have tried and explored more yourself." Hen answers him.

Buck frowns at her as he takes a sip from his cup. "Tommy did open things up for me. I really thought he was the one, you know?" Buck looks over to Hen, who is looking back with sympathy. "At first things were going so well. Even after he moved. But then he got to busy, and then the time zones, and our schedules just didn't align any more. And like what happened with Abby I just waited." Buck shrugged as if it's no big deal but they know it is.

"Buck..." Hen calls his name softly.

"He knew that too so we talked about it. He is liking New York and I love being here. My family. It was better we broke up. It still hurt though." Buck's voice cracks.

"I'm sorry." Hen says placing a hand on his back. Rubbing soothing circles. "Those men after Tommy?"

"They were excited when I mentioned I'm a firefighter. Going slow and talking. But I went to slow for one guy. I was to much for another guy. The reality of dating a firefighter scared off another." Buck says more annoyed now that hurt.

"So what now? Taking another break from dating?" Hen wonders.

"Yeah. I don't want to start something when I know my heart won't be in it."

"That makes sense. I'm always here to talk if you need it." Hen says.

"Thanks Hen." Buck smiles. Hen can only stare at Buck. He's always been handsome but now, as a women he's beautiful. Those eyes shine when he's happy. That smile can bring people to their knees. He looks like a princess even if his slightly curled long hair is crazy from sleep. Buck lets out a chuckle bring Hen back to the present. "You know, one thing I love about being a firefighter I've never told anyone?"

"What's that? Besides saving people and doing dangerous stuff?" Hen wonders, trying to match his energy at like... one in the morning. She never did check what time it is. Buck let's out a chuckle.

"No. it's sleeping as a group. It's like a big sleepover. I've never had one when I was a kid." Buck smiles, beaming. Hen can only watch as her heart break at that news. It's not totally shocking, it's no secret the Buckley's were not good parents, especially not to Buck. Hearing it still hurts. Especially when he smiles like that, as if what he said isn't horrible to hear.

"I've never thought of it like that." Hen says. It's true she never has. It is like a sleepover though. They even have activities to do, like clean and save people. Plus they eat together. Play games sometimes.

It's a wonder why Buck loves being a firefighter so much.

"Feeling okay?" Hen ask leaning against the door to the changing room.

"Yeah." Eddie says still sitting on the bench.

"You know we're the last ones here from A-shift right?" She points out. Eddie looks around seeing they are. "Come on." She says stepping up to him.

"What? Where?" Eddie asks as she drags him to his feet, quickly he shuts his bag.

"To your car so you can go home and release Carla from her duties and join me, Karen and Denny."

"No. I'm fine. Thanks for the offer though."

"It wasn't an offer, it's more like an order. Something's bothering you and you're going to tell me why." Hen eyes narrow, a threat.

Eddie can't hide anything from her. So as much as he's reluctant to he agrees. Doing as he's told. Going home to pick Chris and let Carla finally go home. Then driving them to Hen and Karen's. As soon as they walk in they are greeted by the smell of home cooked food.

Chris and Denny are happy to see each other.

"Why don't you boys play in Danny room while the food finishes up." Karen suggest. Danny nods. Chris following behind him. Karen sets down a cup of water for Eddie. Once the sound of Chris crunches stop the adults sit at the table. Hen and Karen next to each other as Eddie sits by himself across from them.

"Hen tells me there's something on your mind." Karen reaches for her cup already set on the table, with Hens'.

"It's nothing." Eddie tries to deny quickly. Not wanting to give a hint to his true feelings. He reaches for his water.

"It's not nothing. I bet it has something to do with Buck." Hen says smiling in the way to let them all know she knows the truth. Why? Because Hen is smart and a damn good detective. Maybe not better than Athena but she's up there.

"Oh right I heard what happened to him. Did you fall for him?" Karen teases with a smirk.

"No! I mean yes! But not because of how he looks now." Eddie shouts because his mouth can't stay shut in regards to Buck.

"You've liked him before?" Hen asks shocked by that revelation.

"Yeah." Eddie sighs out, the truth is out there anyways. "I've been seeing Frank. After Shannon... things almost fell apart but they didn't and it's thanks to Buck. At least not as much as they could have. Frank helped me realize just how deep my feeling for Buck is. Frank has been helping me deal with the fact I might be gay. But this is just breaking everything. Especially now that he broke up with Tommy." Eddie explained looking and sounding frustrated. The two think he's allowed to be.

"Gay? Not just bi?" Hen wonders. Both her and Karen look wide eyed at him. Eddie nods.

"After a long talk with Frank and a lot of thinking I've realized I forced myself, I'm not as attracted to women as I should be."

"Are you okay?" Karen asks worried.

"It's been easier to accept than I first thought, I'm still trying to fully let it sink in. I feel bad, like my feelings for Shannon was a lie." Eddie saya, finding a particular dark spot on the table interesting.

"It's not a lie. You love Shannon, that's true but maybe it's not the love you initially thought it was. There's more than one type of love." Karen's answers.

"You were young, we all know your parents have expectations, then there's religion that doesn't help so you made mistakes." Hen adds.

"Why is this breaking everything?" Karen wonders.

"I started to understand how attracted I am to Buck, but with the way he looks now I still am." Eddie sounds confused.

"Maybe you're pansexual?" Karan points out, trying to make him feel better.

"Or maybe your feelings haven't changed because you know Buck. You know the truth." Hen adds.

"And what does it matter if there's a label? You like Buck,that'sall that matters." Karens tells him.

"What are you going to do?" Hen wonders.

"Nothing." Eddie looks at them like it's so obvious. The couple look back as if he's lost his mind.

"Seriously? What we've seen on the job hasn't taught you anything?" Hen raises an eyebrow at him.

"What if it goes bad? What if I fuck up like my other relationships?" He looks at both worried and scared.

"That's the only thing you focused on? Things can fuck up in other ways."

"Hen." Karen tone chastising her.

"What if you don't say anything and Buck gets into another relationship? What if this one hurts Buck in ways the others haven't? Or you guys drift apart? After Tommy he's gone on dates with other men. And now he knows he likes both genders." Hen points out firmly.

"Men and women will be falling at his feet." Karen adds, she can see it. Though she doesn't know what Buck looks like she can't imagine Buck is ugly as a women. Plus he's always been charming.

"I can't just... tell him. What if he doesn't see me like that? I couldn't. Chris would be affected too." Eddie shakes his head.

"Chris will always be affected. At least this time this person will be who you wanted and not someone who just so happens to be nice to Chris." Hen warns him.

"That's not..."

"Yes it is." Hen gives Eddie a look. One that screams 'open your eyes'. "You've chosen the women you believe is good because they were nice to your kid, but did they love Chris? Did they adore him? Or did they just get along? News flash Chris gets along with most people."

"Also, Eddie, Chris may be in fourth grade but he's not stupid. He's a smart kid. He might feel and notice things. Buck is for you, but he already loves Chris like his own."

"I don't know." Eddie shakes his head. The couple let out a sigh. They can't force him to do anything. All they can do is talk to him.

"Don't take too long. You might regret it." Hen warns him. Eddie can only stare at her, the foreboding warning sticking to his brain.

His feelings for Buck are not ordinary. Not to him. His normal had been Shannon. The bar had been raised to her standards. No one fit them. But Buck... he's in a whole new ballpark. He's been there for Chris as much as he can. Eddie knows Buck sent things to the house for Chris during the lawsuit. Of course they never talked about it. Eddie was just happy to have Buck in his life again, in his house, with Chris.

Like Hen had said, everyone was for Chris. Even Shannon. Especially Shannon. The start of their relationship wasn't even love. It was because they were two teenagers fucking around and finding out. They got married for Chris, because they were both raised in religious households, they were told it was the right thing to do. After she left, and after her untimely death, Eddie has been trying to find someone else like Shannon. For Chris. But that's not whathewants.

He doesn't just want sex, or for Chris to be thought of. He wants a family, he wants warmth, happiness and comfort. He gets that all with Buck, and so much more. He'd be blind to think Buck isn't attractive. And he'd by lying to himself if he doesn't admit he'd wanted to see more. Even now that hasn't changed.

He loves Buck's weirdness. The man is like the sun and Eddie is a flower, wanting nothing more than to be taken care of by the sun. Of course he also wants to care for Buck. They are partners. Eddie wants that to mean it in every sense of the word. At work. At home. In life.

Partners.

Equals.

"Maddie you have a visitor." Josh says to Maddie. She looks at the time to see it's lunch break for her anyway.

"Thanks Josh." She says turning her computer off, though she does wonder who is visiting. She hadn't made plans with anyone.

She turns around looking for her guest. She pauses at a women, tall but beautiful though what has her attention is the women's birthmark. The women notices her, and her face lights up. "Maddie." She calls the hand not holding a bag raises in a wave.

Maddie blink. Oh shit! It's Buck. "Buck!" Maddie shouts. Shocking Josh who stood beside her and a few other still working.

"I brought you lunch." Buck says stepping closer. Maddie can only gawk at him... her? Chim had sent some picture but they were at angles and from afar, he didn't want to be seen, so of course they weren't that good.

"Thanks."

"Buck? As in Evan Buckley? Your brother?" Josh asks looking at Buck too.

"It's a long story. And unbelievable." Buck rubs the back of his head sheepishly.

"It feels good not having to look so high up to you." Maddie chuckles as she leads the two to the break room. They won't get a lot of privacy but it's better than nothing. At a table, Maddie takes note of what her brother is wearing. A sleeveless sweater, with some sweats. The gray sleeveless sweater looks new, of course, it'd be too small for a man. But the sweats look like they were his from before. Especially with the way the hems are rolled up to fit his legs. And the sneakers are new.

"Here." Buck says handing over a pyrex container of something. It looks like he packed it full. Buck sets a matching one in front of himself. Then reaches into the reusable bag for reusable utensils. This looks new too. Especially the bag. It is brown with turquoise flowers.

Josh joins them with his own lunch. "Did you go shopping?" Maddie asks as she opens her container. It looks like a stew of some sort with rice.

"I had to. I needed more things, I only had enough for the two days of work. Then I realized I didn't have any civilian clothes. Most of the pants I own are okay, if not a little loose around the hips and too long for my legs. But I really needed shirts. Then I saw some of these stuff so I thought might as well. Also why do women pants have such shit pockets?" Buck rambles opening his own container.

"I'm not sure, it's always been like that. Is everything okay, you usually come here for advice." Maddie says taking her first bite. "Oh, this is good."

"Thanks, I was trying something new." Buck says with a smile taking a bite for himself. He nods to himself.

"It smells good." Josh says looking at their meals.

"I'm just here because I'm bored. I was suppose to hang out with Chris and Eddie but that was cancelled because, well," Buck motions to himself. "We didn't want to confuse Chris. The same can be said with Jee." Buck adds, going to his food.

"Oh, sorry. I'm sure you would like to be occupied especially what happened with Tommy." Maddie says looking at her brother with sympathy.

"What happened? I thought you both were good?" Josh asks looking at them both for answers. "You always look like you were ready to eat each other."

"Tommy moved to New York, they broke up soon after though." Maddie fills him in.

"Oh that's suck. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I got over it. The others know about it now too. It's just... uggh." Buck says facing his head down fully. The steam of his stew hitting his face.

"What happened?" Maddie asks looking at Josh, who is looking at her. Both worried but curious.

"Tommy just had to run his mouth off."

"What did he say?" Maddie asks, wondering if she should start hating the pilot.

"He got into a relationship. I was talking to him about it. I made some joke about how they sound kind of like me and Eddie but without Chris, a kid. Then Tommy mentioned how it does seem like me and Eddie are together. Tommy then joked about how we fit together like a puzzle. Ever since I couldn't get it out of my head." Buck explains playing with his spoon.

"Okay..." Maddie says not sure where this is going.

"I think I have a crush on my best friend." Buck finally announced.

"You think?" Josh wonders.

"Well, I'm trying really hardnotto think about it. It was all confusing before this and now it's gotten worse. I didn't want to say or do anything that might reveal my feelings. I know Eddie still has feelings for Shannon. Plus... I don't think he's even bi, he's as straight as an arrow. I can't deny it anymore because I miss him which doesn't make sense considering I saw him before I got off my shift last night." Buck holds his face in his hands.

"The curse of falling for your straight best friend. Happens to everyone, trust me?" Josh pats Buck's shoulder.

"I don't know what to do."

"Keep it in." Josh says.

"Talk to him." Maddie says.

Maddie and Josh talk at the same time. They look at each other.

"Trust me, this will not end well. It never does. Keep it in." Josh says seriously to Buck.

"Wouldn't it be best to get it out, so you can move on? Talking to him about this seems like a better choice. The last thing you want to do is bottle it up only for it to end up exploding horribly."

"I like Josh's idea better." Buck shrugs his shoulders at Maddies betrayed face. "I... don't want to lose them. I don't want to bring Chris in the middle either. He must already feel abandoned enough. I don't want to add to it." Buck explains. Maddie huffs.

"I see where you are coming from but I don't think it's a good idea. It's your choice though." Maddie continues to eat.

"How's it feel? Being in that body?" Josh wonders, Maddie perks at that.

"Odd but not all that different. Some habits have to change but other than that... not much has been so different." Buck shrugs.

"We should hang out more. I want to feel what it's like to have a younger sister." Maddie teases.

"Sure, you can help me buy more bras and panties." Buck jokes back, though not fully, either way both Maddie and Josh choke on their food. Buck just chuckles at them. He enjoys the rest of his food.

Eddie walks to the loft, both Chimney and Hen sitting facing the direction of Bobby's office. He slows down, unsure what is going on. Though those two don't seem to be the only ones. So many other firefighters are looking in the same direction.

"What's... going on?" Eddie asks, taking a quick glance to the kitchen, not finding Buck or Bobby there. Usually they are cooking together, or one is cooking. Either way Buck is usually here, maybe even making him breakfast. Buck is on shift if he remembers. They compared schedules last week.

"It's not good... maybe." Hen says tilting as Eddie is now in her way.

"Why?" Eddie says moving to make himself a cup of coffee.

"Some higher ups are here. I guess they came to talk to Buck. They're in Bobby's office." Hen answers. Eddie nods as he makes his coffee.

"I heard from Gomez they were here before A-shift even started." Chimney says.

"To review Buck I'm guessing. No way Cap left that out of his report no matter how crazy and fictional it sounds." Hen adds.

"Does it seem good or bad?" Eddie questions joining them at the table.

"Can't tell. From what I saw they gave Buck a physical just to see if he can do it." Chim says taking a drink of his coffee.

"Not a lot. I'm sure from the other reports they can tell Buck is fine." Hen adds.

"Yeah, but... bureaucracy." Eddie says.

"I don't think it would be bad. Buck can work, he's not hurt, where's the problem?" Hen says knowing there's always a problem.

"They wouldn't try Buck, he did sue them." Chim points out.

Hen and Eddie tilt their heads. That's a good point. No way would they risk it.

The silence that follows is deafening, so much so they all hear the moment the doors open. Out walks three people, two men and a woman in uniform, taking a moment to huddle around the door. Behind them is Bobby. He talks to them at the door, shaking their hands. Serious and professional. As the three leave Bobby turns around closing the door. They don't wait long for the door to open again. This time Buck walks out. They can't tell what happened. He does seem calm. Though Eddie had almost forgotten what Buck looks like as a woman.

He can feel his heart beating, ready to jump out his chest. He's falling in love all over again. Like some cheesy romance. Then their eyes meet. Buck whole face starts to glow, lighting up like the sun. Eddie heart about leaps up into his throat. It feels nice to have someone look at him that way. Happy to see him. What he wouldn't give to be able to see that for the rest of his life.

He comes to with Hen elbowing him a little. Watching Buck happily sprint to them, no one can not see dog hears and a tail. "Eddie!" He happily calls not knowing it fills Eddie with so much joy. "Before you get off your shift you have to come to me first." Buck says seriously but with a wide smile. One would think he slept with a hanger in his mouth.

"Why?" Eddie blinks, ignoring the way he said that sentence, trying not to imagine that being said in a much steamier scenario.

"I bought Chris something," Buck takes a moment to breath, getting excited about it himself, "it finally came. I brought it so you can give it to him for me." Buck says leaning forward on the table, close to Eddie.

"Uh... yeah of course." Eddie says a bit distracted with Buck chest. Feeling like he is staring too long he looks down. Good timing too as Buck moves to grab his phone. In his hand they can see and hear it vibrating.

"Oh! It's the doctor!" Buck announces as he takes a quick worried glance at Hen. "Hello?" He walks to the railing to talk. Eddie eyes trail after him, going down the curve of Bucks spine, until they stop at his ass. It's a nice ass, Buck had a nice ass as a man but now... it's more filled out. Those wide hips not helping.

A hard smack comes to the back of his Eddie, "stop staring." Hen warns him, eyes looking at him. Eddie rubs the back of his head, face scrunched with discomfort. She didn't hold back.

"Were you... were you staring at my brother... sister... whatever in law's ass?" Chimney asks looking at him in almost disgust but there's a hint of amusement.

"I'm not the only one." Eddie says in defense but when the three look to see if that's true anger flares in him at the fact that they indeed are. The single firefighters are. He starts glaring.

Before he can say anything Buck turns around, "thank you." He doesn't sound to happy. His expression doesn't look it either, so different than a minute ago. His eyebrows are furrowed, his lips bitten in between teeth. Buck ends the call, pocketing his phone.

"Is it something bad?" Hen asks.

"Ahh... no." Buck says staring off into nothing. "Not really." Buck adds softly.

"Then... what was that for?" Hen asks softly.

"Everything is okay."

"We know that." Chimney says with a smirk on his face ready to joke about this.

"No... I mean everything is okay." Buck stresses, placing a hand on his stomach. They continue to stare. Buck looks away, finger tips digging into the cloth. Unsure how to feel about the news. The boys look at each other confused. Hen watches for a second longer, eyes looking to where he's placed his hands.

Then she gets it, slowly her eyes widen. "You don't mean," Hen motions with her eyes to Buck, the area where the womb would be, "that's working too? The baby making factory." Hen says low. Buck looks at her. His eyes look scared.

"Yeah." He whispers.

"Seriously?" Eddie asks unbelieving.

"Really?" Chim asks himself to make sure. Buck nods to them both.

"Let's go talk to Bobby. There's things we need to make sure we have." Hen says getting up from between Chim and Eddie. Chim and Eddie watch them leave.

When gone Eddie takes his cup to his mouth to finish his coffee as Chim snaps his head to look at Eddie. Eyebrows furrow. Eddie gulps once before turning his attention to Chim.

"We are going to be stuck together now aren't we? I want my partner back." Chim crosses his arms.

Eddie watches Chim. "It's not like I did this." Eddie says. Chim nods cause he's right he didn't.

"I know. But I can see them being partnered up more now. It sort of reminds me of the time I got rubar stuck in my head." Chim says.

"Why?" Eddie wonders, he sort of likes hearing stories about times before he joined. Especially when they have to do with Buck.

"When I was gone they got closer. They have some inside jokes for that time. I felt left out."

"But Hen will always be your partner. Like Buck will be mine."

"Really? With the way you were just staring at Buck ass?" Chim asks. Eddie scrunches his nose.

"Don't worry about it. It's still Buck." Eddie says, hoping to stop that conversation. Lucky for him Chim is no Henrietta Wilson.

The cabin is quiet.

Eyes on Buck as he stare out the window. No one able to say a word. They all know Buck is not happy. Everyone is sure the news and idea of being able to get pregnant is an odd one but what do you do with that information? Should you be happy?

"You okay Buck?" Bobby asks.

"Yeah Cap." Buck answers looking at him from his seat, the opposite of where Bobby is.

"Good, we're almost there. Dispatch said it's a worker stuck in the pin machine. We'll see what we got there." Bobby says.

"We're going to a bowling alley?" Buck asks, though not with excitement.

"Sound a bit scared there Buckaroo. Don't like bowling?" Chim teases.

"Bowling's fun but do you know how unsanitary it is?" Buck says turning his body to face them. They all relax as Buck starts listing facts they are sure he read on the Internet. Happy to have him rambling on and on. Hen smiles as she sees the way Eddie listen to him, as if Buck hung the stars himself, then there's Buck who is more than happy showing what new thing he's learned. Or maybe it's something he learned a while ago but never got to mention it.

Either way Buck is their Buck no matter what.

They all tilts their heads to the side as they stare at the worker stuck. It's a wonder how this happened, though can they honestly say it is a shock?

"Hen, Chim check him." Bobby orders, watching them step up, Chim placing the backboard on the floor flat. "Buck, Eddie go get the saw... and jaws just in case."

"On it." Buck and Eddie say at the same time. Both skedaddle not a second later.

"How's Buck?" Chim ask.

"Scared." Bobby says watching over them.

"And nervous." Hen adds from her bend down position.

"Who wouldn't be in his position?"

"True, but I think this scared him the most. He was pale the whole time we talked to Bobby about supplies." Hens says clamping the ternakit on the patient.

"But you're use to it Hen." Bobby says.

"Imagine becoming a man one day Hen?" Chim says.

"If that happened there'd be a lot less crap I'd have to worry about."

"Exactly. Now Buck has to worry about all that crap." Chim says.

Once outside, heading towards the engine, Eddie speaks up, deciding to talk. Since they are partners again. A fact he's happy about. For a second both he and Chim were worried Bobby would continue pairing them together. Not that he dislikes Chim, he's just not Buck. Eddie likes to believe Chim thinks the same. "Are you okay? With the news?" Eddie asks.

"I'm okay. Just scared. I mean it's something I never had to worry about. Now that I do... it's scary."

Eddie stays silent having nothing to contribute

"I mean you hear all those stories about teen pregnancy, if that's the case getting pregnant must be easy. But I know it's notthateasy. And I know there's things to prevent it, to be safe but now that I have to worry about carrying the baby... it's a lot of pressure. One mess up or something doesn't go right and BAM! I'm pregnant."

"I think you're overthinking it."

"Am I? I keep learning things the longer I am in this body. And every time I do I can't help but think 'is this what women feel like all the time?' It's for every new experience. Not just this one."

"If getting pregnant were that easy I'm sure it's be an epidemic."

"That's a lot of talk Edmundo Diaz. Tell me when did you have your son?" Buck says turning around to walk with the saw on his hands.

"Wait Buck!" Eddie shouts jogging to catch up with Buck, the jaws in his hands. "I just meant women have been managing it for years, you can too."

"That's the thing! I never had to before. Besides making sure I wear a condom I never needed to make sure. It wasn't my responsibility."

"Then don't have sex." Eddie shrugs his shoulders to hide the pink on his cheeks, glad Buck isn't paying to much attention to him. Buck maybe his best friend but they don't talk much about their sex lives. Just the basics or a very sugarcoated version. Recently it's been even rarer.

"What do I look like a monk? I need something to get the edge off. Honestly I don't think that's what I'm most scared about?"

"Then what is?" Eddie asks, scared about the answer himself. Buck is not as much of a private person most people are, and of course there are things he doesn't talk about at all. There are sometimes Eddie wish Buck kept things private. It doesn't happen often.

"My first period. The doctor said I should start counting twenty three days at least, then start tracking. That's not an experience I want. I'm really hoping Alex wakes up before then." Buck says with no amount of embarrassment, Eddies steps falter beside him. Having to shake his head for the wires to pop back in place. Never ceases to amaze how little filter Buck has with things. Including this. Eddie hasn't been with a lot of women but even then they do not openly talk about their menstruation that freely. Do they talk about it, yes, but like that? Hell even his sisters never talked about it like that. Maybe to their mom but that's it.

"I've been curious. What happened with those people from the department?" Chim wonders as Buck saws the guys leg free.

"They want to make sure I wasn't high, and that the report was true." Bobby answers.

"They needed to test you for that?" Hen wonders.

"No, that was to make sure I could still do the job, otherwise I'd go back to the academy." Buck answers.

"I'm guessing you past?" Eddie asks, jaws unused in his arms.

"Yeah, though they took a really long time to be convinced it's true. I had to show off my tattoos. That seem to do the trick." Buck says.

"It works out because then you'll get your replacement gear on the government's dime. Technically this happened under work. Like a workplace injury. So they'll take care of the payment for the gear that needs to be replaced." Bobby tells him.

"When will his new gear be here?"

"By his next shift."

"Hey Buck," Chim starts eyes down at his phone, he continues without waiting for confirmation he's got Buck attention (why wouldn't he, no one else is talking), "you're really going girly shopping with Maddie?"

"What?" The others look confused, looking between Buck and Chim.

"Did Madds say that? It was only a joke." Buck rolls his eyes. "Their reaction was funny when I mentioned it."

"She says she's excited. I think she means it." Chim says.

"She was going on about how she wants to experience what it's like having a younger sister when we had lunch." Buck crosses his arms.

"Why not go?" Chim wonders.

"I already went shopping. I have what I need. And I don't want to get to much, what if I turn back?" Buck shrugs his shoulders.

"What do you plan to do with the stuff you do have?" Hen asks from her place at the table.

"Donate it of course." Buck looks at her as if it's an obvious answer.

"I know we do a lot a charity stuff, how come we've never done a donation one?" Chim wonders.

"That's a good idea. Karen and I have been meaning to donate some of Danny's old clothes but we never have the time." Hen says.

"I need to do the same thing with Chris." Eddie pipes up from the couch.

"I guess that's something to put on the calendar." Bobby smiles at them, making a mental note to plan and coordinate that.

Things fell into place once again. As if nothing had changed. But there's always a reminder that it has.

Eddie walks through the front door of his house, wrapped box underneath his arm.

"Welcome home." Carla says, her voice raspy like always. She gives him a hug, smile on her face.

"Thanks, where's Chris? Buck got him something." Eddie wonders shaking the box in hand, wrapped in Superman wrapping paper. He can not imagine that was easy to find. Buck mentioned ordering this thing, from the sounds of it it's a Lego set, so that means Buck wrapped it. Further meaning Buck owns Superman wrapping paper. He can only think of one reason why.

"In his room. Speaking of, why hasn't Buck been around?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you Carla." Eddie smiles at her but it sort of hurts that Buck won't be around after work like he used to because of the situation. He does miss their time together. Hanging out, drinking beers, talking and laughing. Or being a family when it's the three of them. "For now we've agreed it's best he stay away, until things get back to normal."

"If that's what's you've both agreed on then fine... but Chris misses him. What are you going to tell him?"

"Buck suggested I be somewhat honest."

"Buck is right. But if you can't be honest about that then be truthful about why? I'll see you in two days." Carla says gathering her things.

"See ya, and thank you."

"Anything for you sweetheart." Carla says walking to the door. Closing it with one final wave goodbye. Eddie smiles moving to go into Chris room.

Eddie knocks before walking in, he finds Chris at his desk doing his homework. Eddie smiles. "I got something for you. It's from Buck." Eddie shows off the large box. There's a hint of guilt at the sight of Chris wide smile, even behind his glasses his eyes are sparkling. Eddie can't tell if that's because of the present or the mention of Buck.

"Is it what he promised?" Chris asks holding his hands out. Eddie sets the box on top of the desk, it's large and Chris would have trouble holding it with his smaller frame.

"I don't know, he gave it to me and said it was for you. It just came in the mail." Eddie says. His heart is bursting with affection towards Buck, the fact the man is so close to his kid that they make promises and talk without Eddie needing to be there. None of his past girlfriends did that. They were nice to him but as Hen and Karen pointed out they did not adore Chris as much as Buck does. Though still not a reason to confess. It does make him feel more guilty, keeping Buck away from Chris because of how he looks, taking away this moment from him. Maybe he should have waited, kept it in his truck until things are truly normal. But they don't know when that is and Eddie would have felt more guilty because he would have forgotten.

The ripping sounds brings Eddie back, his eyes go to Chris tearing the paper away happily and ecstatically. Chris reveals a three in one Lego set. It has Superman with his fortress of solitude, Batman and his Batmobile and lastly, Wonder Woman and her invisible jet. Chris looks at Eddie with awe. "It is what he promised. When will Buck come by?" Chris wonders looking at his father.

"Not for a while mijo."

"Why not? I'd promised we can build it together." Chris tilts his head, in a way reminiscent of Buck. Just showing how much those two hang out that his son would have mannerisms of someone else.

"Something happened at work." Eddie says going for truthful but not all the way.

"He's not hurt is he?"

"No," Eddie shakes his head. Chris would know if Buck was injured in anyway. Eddie for one would not be this calm. "But something happened. He's not like himself, we are waiting until he is himself again to come over."

"How is he not himself?"

"He looks different."

"But it's still Buck right?"

"Yes."

"Then do I have to wait?"

Maddie laughs at Buck once again inspecting a bra. He looks like a women who been living under a rock and just joined civilization. "Are you going to do that with every piece?" Maddie asks pushing the cart forward.

"The clasps are very easy to undo. Now I'm afraid if I buy one it might accidentally undo itself."

"That won't happen because it never has. Unless it's someone undoing them."

"Madds did you have to come here?" Buck wonders putting the bra back. Once again in sweats but with a t shirt on this time. "I told you I don't want to buy more than I need."

"I know but that doesn't mean you can't join me. We can just talk." Maddie smiles walking forward pushing the cart with Jee in the seat.

"Nothing much has happened and if it has to do with you your husband will happily tell me." Buck says trailing behind her.

"Not about me, you. Are you really going to do what Josh suggested? I feel like telling him the truth, about how you feel is the right way to go." Maddie looks at Buck who is looking over the bras.

"It is not. I would if he had amnesia and didn't know I was a guy, even then I wouldn't risk it. I can't with the way I am now. This is what he likes. Women. The fact I'm... well a man underneath all this is what's keeping our friendship a friendship." Buck gives his sister a look.

"But don't you like him?" Maddie looks back confused.

"I do. But I also love Chris, I don't want to ruin what I have with him because I'm dating his dad." Buck says seriously.

"I don't see how you can ruin it. Chris will always love you, and I think you will always, forever, have a place in that child's life." Maddie raises a hand to place on Buck shoulder.

"That's one thing I don't want to risk. I can't. Especially when I know I'm not his type. " Buck explains with a shake of his head, a women walking in behind them.

"I think you look beautiful. He should be ashamed for not seeing past just physical appearances." The woman says taking a look over Buck.

"That's kind of you to say." Buck says staring at the black haired woman with wide eyes, a forced smile on his face.

"Thank you for telling mysisterthat. I think she need to hear it. Just confess to Ed-" Maddie starts but gets interrupted.

"EDWARD would not take me. Let's continue this conversation over here." Buck says smile stilted. Maddie stare at him confused as she is dragged out the isle and down another far from that one.

"What was that about?" Maddie ask watching Buck take a look at the end of the isle.

"That was Marisol. Eddies most recent ex." Buck whispers just in case she can hear them from there, five isles over.

"Really? That was her? Who would have thought we ran into her?" Maddie pokes her head to also look.

"Yeah. It's a small world." Buck says turning to look at his sister.

"Does she not know what you look like, what we look like?" Maddie leans back checking on Jee.

"I don't think you've ever met. And I met her once, or twice. One on a call and the other after. Though I don't think she was paying me any mind." Buck joins her once again, finding themselves at an isle of underwear this time.

"Exactly what's your plan from here on out then? Keep your feelings in forever?" Maddie raises on eyebrow at her brother.

"Yup." Buck nods popping the P. "I'm going to be single forever. Maybe a fling or two here. One night stands. I'll be the cool uncle with money to spare." Buck says with a shrug and a smile.

"You're not even going to try dating?" Maddie looks at him with wide eyes.

"Nope." Buck shakes his head. "Madds, I can't date, it wouldn't be right when I know my feelings are for someone else. Plus no way would I want to like this. I'd have men running away. Maybe some women. I would not be able to be honest with them, plus when this is reversed they will be very confused." Buck explains having waved his arms around.

"True. But even after, you're not going to try?" Buck shakes his head. "Well why can't you try now and maybe he won't care about what gender you are?"

"Madds no way. If Ed's truly didn't care about gender I'm sure he would have figured it out by now."

"I'm not so sure. Look at you, you just learned you're bi. Didn't Athena's husband learn he's gay not to long ago? He has two kids, and was happily married."

"But Eds is not confused like me. I'm sure he knows who he is. I think what we have is good now." Buck crosses his arms.

"I'm worried about this Buck. What if he starts dating someone? Won't that hurt you?" Maddie eyebrows furrow in concern.

"Yeah but I'm sure I can handle it."

"I want you to be happy Buck. You deserve it more than anyone else I know."

"I... I want to be happy to but I can't force it." Buck shrugs his shoulder, face sad.

Hen look over to the new person joining them at the loft. She then focused her eyes back down on her cards. "Someone had a rough weekend." She says.

"Not a good weekend it seems." Chim says taking moment to look himself. Both see Eddie with a frown, and it's not because it's morning.

"Not now." Eddie grumbles.

Hen lets a breath out, Chim lets out a whistle. His mood is so not in a good place. They can only wonder why. When should they ask? No way is this sour mood of his not going to get in the way today.

Hen cheers as she wins against Chim. She moves to counts her snacks she won as Chim reshuffles the cards. Eddie sitting next to them as he watch. He's been watching for the last ten minutes. Mood not getting better.

"Ready to talk now?" Hen asks not turning to look at him.

Eddie lets out a sigh. "I fought with Chris."

"About?" Chim wonders shocked.

"Buck. He wants to see him, so they can build this new Lego set Buck got him. A promise they made. I told him Bucks going to be away for while."

"I'm guessing you didn't tell him why." Hen points out.

"I don't want Chris to think anything if he were to see Buck. He was pretty upset about my break up with Marisol." Eddie says staring at his reflection in his mug.

"Why would he think something? Jee was fine when Maddie took her and Buck shopping." Chimney wonders dealing the cards.

"But Chris is older..." Eddie says not looking up.

Hen stares at him. "Yeah... so he'll understand this was a freak accident and Buck may or may not go back to normal." Hen says leaning her elbow on the table, leaning closer to Eddie.

"What's the news in that front?" Chim wonders.

"It's not looking good. Alex has gone into coma from the head injury he sustained. They're keeping him alive but we all know how sensitive it is now." Hen answers. The two others are quiet as they soak in this information. "Eddie... have you talked to Buck. At all?"

"Yeah, he loves Chris, he must be sad about not seeing his favorite kid." Chim adds looking at Eddie, who takes a moment to look at the two, then looks back down at his cup.

He knows that's true. Knows Buck doesn't like being alone. Knows Buck enjoys time with Chris. Eddie enjoys it too. Loves watching the two work hard together on a school project. Love watching Buck help Chris with his homework. Watching them both discuss what to watch. The sight always fills his heart.

But now it's scary.

What if Eddie ruins the relationship, even if they are just friends, with Buck? He can't let that happen. He needs to believe Buck will go back to normal.

The conversation is dropped as Buck joins them at the loft. A pep in his step.

"Someone's happy."

"My gear came today. I'll have Buckley on my turnout again." Buck answers with a large grin on his face.

"Want to join us?" Chim say waving the cards for Buck to see.

"Sure." Buck says sitting next to Hen.

As Chim separates the cards Hen speaks up, "have you been talking to Dr. Johnson and co?" She wonders.

"Yeah." Buck face falls. "I heard they found some family for Alex. I think it's his sister. She's been by his side. Hoping that will get him to wake up." Buck says. The table is quiet. They know what that's like, after Buck had gotten struck by lightning. Seeing the mood has gotten worse Buck thinks about what to add, away from talk about Alex. Then a thought comes to mind, "oh, adding to getting my replacement gear, I also got a new I.D. A temporary one." Buck smiles.

"Really?" Hen asks.

"How does that work?" Chim scrunches his face, not sure how that work, but it sounds like a pain in the ass.

"Well, I just told them I transitioned. That seemed to be the easiest way. Once I'm back I could just dispose of it. But I really needed something. I shouldn't have been driving at all since I've become like this. I also talked to my bank. I had a lot of people to talk to." Buck says.

"Sounds like you were busy." Eddie says.

"Sounds like a pain in the ass." Hen adds.

"It was but it needed to be done." Buck shrugs.

"Switching back is going to be a pain too." Hen points out.

"True but... when is that going to happen?" Buck points out causing them all to pause. The way it's going Buck is going to be like this for a while.

Eddie feels something heavy fill his gut. He can't keep Chris away from Buck. With no clear answer to when Buck will be turned back it seems harrowing. He won't be able to keep it a secret forever. But will Chris understand? Would he react badly?

He doesn't want to hurt Buck in any way, Chris rejecting him would. He doesn't want to see that happen. Ever.

They play a couple games to pass the time. They get one or two calls that were not an all firefighter situation. Someone stuck in a tree. And an old women hurt her hip. Nothing major.

It's around the end of dinner, people are starting to getting ready to sleep in. Ready to hit the bunks. Including Eddie, Buck, Hen and Chim. Bobby gave himself the job of putting the left overs away.

Hen stands behind Buck, trying to brush the newly forming curls out of his hair. The other two stand watching as Buck twitch and grimace when the brush pulls on a knot, while they brush their teeth. They are rinsing their mouth when the bell rings, surprising everyone in the silence of the firehouse.

A second after everyone is scrambling up, forcing themselves to waken, having fallen into pre-sleep. They rush into the fire engine. All sitting, not able to keep themselves from yawning.

"Right as we were getting ready." Chim says out loud after another yawn.

"Whatever gets Hen away from my hair." Buck mutters pulling his hair back into a low pony tail.

"Sorry. That brush wasn't made for your hair. If it's a problem just cut it short." Hen says looking as guilty she feels.

"I'll think about it." Buck says, first needing to do some research of course. He's never had long hair before. He's grown his hair out before but never this long as it's not allowed for males, as per the regulations.

"What's to be expected cap?" Eddie asks, looking as tired as the rest of them.

"Apartment fire. A large one. Don't go expecting to hit the bunks just yet." Bobby answers.

"Damn, I was sort of hoping to get a good night's sleep." Chim says, very disappointed.

"Jee keeping you up?" Hen asks.

"Just started teething, she's not happy about it." Chim explains, resting his head back. The others slumped in their seats too.

"It doesn't get easier." Hen and Eddie say at the same time, smirking at each other. Buck chuckles at Chim stunned expression.

He grumbles but tries to get some shut eye until they make it there. For something.

He doesn't get a long power nap, neither of them do. As soon as they close their eyes they are awoken by Bobby telling them they are first on scene. Everyone gathers their helmets as the engine gets closer. Checking to see if their turnouts are on properly.

They jump out to see what they'll be working on to see it's bad but it could be worse. It's a fifteen floor apartment building, the top five floors are the ones lit up but if things get bad the fire can travel down.

"Hen and Chim, your job will be to evacuate the bottom floors. Make sure it's empty! Buck and Eddie you're going into the fire. Check to see if there's anyone in those rooms. Get them out and down to the closets firefighter, who will then get them out of the building. Get as many people out. Gomez, De Luca help Hen and Chim. The rest will tackle the fire." Bobby instructs them. All moving to gather their gear from the engine as soon as their names were called.

It takes time but when they get to the floor on fire Buck and Eddie do their work. Pounding on doors, then smashing them open to get inside. Working as quick and meticulously as they can.

They find a couple people, handing them off to Chim, Hen, De Luca or Gomez. But most of the apartments are empty which Buck is great full for. After checking everything Eddie calls in that all rooms are clear. Buck adding his confirmation.

Bobby then calls for a firefighter evacuation. The fire started spreading down, and started to light everything else like a wick. They need to put the fire out and make sure it doesn't spread to the neighboring buildings.

After hours of fighting this fire that didn't want to go out they finally put the last embers out. Everyone is still working, making sure equipment is put away, checking on the people who were in the fire or near it. Checking fellow firefighters. Making sure the fire won't reignite. Checking the integrity of the building for the fire marshal, to send someone to investigate how it started. But after years of doing this is easy to see the signs.

Buck stands to the side of a fire engine, putting some equipment away. They needed to angle the engine at a diagonal in front of the building, Buck back facing the crowd of people that have gathered.

"Buckaroo!" Buck turns to the voice, smiling as he sees Athena.

"Hey, 'thena, working late?" He asks shutting the compartment close. He then moves over to start wrapping the hose up.

"Actually just started." Athena answers, leaning her weight on one leg, looping a finger into a loop in her pants. Buck has come to love Athena when she's like this, like a cowboy. Chim has compared her to The Lone Ranger, but Buck doesn't know who that is. He should add it to the list of thing to research about.

"Bobby should be around here." Buck says with a smile knowing she'll be worried for her husband. Athena smiles, it's small but it happens.

"I'll check on him later, first tell me how you're doing." Athena asks. Ever since getting turned like this they haven't had their one on one, like they use to.

"Just going forward. Day by day. I'm..." Buck takes a deep breath, "Im keeping hope I'll turn back one day." Buck looks into Athena's eyes and she sees it. He's scared. And he's trying not to think about too much. Already he's stronger than any other person who has been forced into a situation like this, though she doesn't think this happens often.

"Don't worry Buck, you'll be back to usual before you know it. Just be patient." Athena pats him on his back, odd with how small it is. Not what she's use to.

Buck nods. He gives her a large grin. "I think you told me I'm not a patient person."

Athena shakes her head with a chuckle. "I know you can wait Buck. Plus it's not on you, so you have no choice in-"

BANG!

The sound of a gun firing has everyone ducking. Including Athena and Buck, the sound louder where they are. Buck holding onto his helmet and the edge of the engine. Something to ground him to reality.

A second later Athena turns to find the culprit. It's not hard as people are staring at the man in horror and shock or running away scared. "Put the gun down!" Athena shouts.

Buck slowly straightens out, his ears ringing, aware of Athena doing her job behind him. But he can't pay to much attention on that cause he's not even fully aware of what is going on. One minute he's talking to Athena and the next it's chaos.

Just like when Eddie got shot. They were talking one second the next Buck is covered in blood and Eddie is staring at him equally as confused. Buck is hit with fear. Is Eddie okay this time? Was someone hurt this time? He wonders who? Hopefully nobody.

Buck takes a step to search for Eddie to check on him but pauses when a mind numbing pain erupts from his side. He places a gloved hand there only to let a wounded sound come out of his mouth from the pain. He looks down, his turnout open as he was hot from being in the fire then running around to put out the fire so he opened it, he sees an odd stain on his blue LAFD T-shirt he has on for sleep. He pulls his hand back only to find the black of his gloves. Uncoordinated he reaches up to take his glove off, stunned by the slim fingers for a second. More focused on the pain he places a hand there again immediately feeling a wet stickiness to it. And pain at the pressure again.

He pulls his hand back to see a dark red covering his hand.

It hits him. He was shot.

Then a burning hits him and the pain. He curls forward, ungloved hand on his wound, gloved hand on the engine keeping him up. Buck doesn't know what to do honestly. He can't find his voice, or think clearly. He's never been shot before.

"Buck, are okay?" A voice pierces the fog of his mind. He turns to see Athena walking to him. Beautiful and badass Athena. The mother he's always wanted. The one who loves him anyways. Still cared after all his screw ups.

"T-thena... I-I t-think I w-was..." Buck stutters as he turn to face her, hands slowly raising to show her. Athena pauses at the sight of blood on Buck hand.

Buck body gives up, falling back. "Buck!" Athena shouts as she rushes the rest of the way to him. Watching as Buck attempts to grab hold of the engine to keep him up, but only smearing the blood in the process. Buck land on the floor fully on his back, helmet falling off his head and landing somewhere else as Athena lands on her knees next to him. "Buck hold on!" Athena yells seriously as she presses onto the wound. Buck lets out a shout, a cry.

"Ah! Hurts!" Buck cries, eyes tearing up. But he knows he needs pressure, so he puts a hand on top of Athena's. Blood soaking through their fingers. There's so much of it.

"Just hang in there Buck!" Athena tells him desperate.

"A women! I thought he was a man!" The two hear but pay no mind. Buck blue eyes catch sight of another officer leading a man in cuffs pass them.

"Where is everyone?" Athena looks around. They are pretty far, closer to the building that was on fire if a Buck were to guess. "Bobby! Hen!" Athena shouts desperately. "Keep the pressure on." Athena instructs.

"Kay." Buck answers pressing both hands into he wound, he lets a groan out at the pain. Athena grabbing onto his turnout, scrambling to get his radio. Once she gets it she brings it to her lips.

Knowing his radio is already on the same frequency she about yells, "firefighter down! I repeat firefighter down. I need medical assistance! Hen get your ass here immediately!" She yells as an order.

Not a second wasted they hear, "who's down? Athena!" Bobby shouts, of course recognizing his wife's voice.

"Buck, baby, stay with me! Don't close your eyes!" Athena tells him, back to putting pressure on the wound.

"Buck!" Bobby shouts running to them. "Hen!" He shouts looking over to see her right behind him, having to grab her bag. Her eyes widen at the sight.

"Buck!" She cries running to join Athena on the floor. "Stay strong beautiful." Hen says.

"Who's hurt?" Chim comes with a back board, Eddie behind him with the gurney. "Oh." Chim says seeing who it is. He rushes to help get Buck on the back board.

Eddie stands in place. Eyes widen at as looks down, once again, to the love of his life (this time for real) bleeding out on the pavement.

"Buck!" Eddie shouts.