1 June 1640
The wedding's in only four days! I can hardly believe it. Meulin looks beautiful in her dress and I'm looking forwards to it. It promises to be quite the event!
She's certainly more nervous than I am, since her life is changing ten times as fast as mine, but I'm still nervous for her to leave. It'll be the same, but it won't be. I know I'll be able to feed myself-we both hunt because there are two of us-but it will be different in ways I'm not used to. I hope I'll be alright.
3 June 1640
I tried my nice dress on again today and it seems I've grown since I last wore it. I had to take out the chest, which wasn't hard, and adjust the waist. I've always been thinner than Linny, but I've been gaining weight as of late, too. I'm still growing a bit, though my chest has its adult shape and I get my bleeding, to my chagrin.
I'm not a child anymore, but I don't feel like an adult quite yet.
5 June 1640
The wedding was today! It was wonderful. A carriage came for us early, and I expected Kurloz to be in it, but he wasn't, because it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding on the wedding day. It's a very old superstition, from when you didn't even talk to your betrothed and people worried the husband might change his mind if he saw the wife. Of course now it's just tradition.
Once we were there, there was a lady who help us dress. Linny and I usually lace up each other's nice corsets that tie in the back. I also did Meulin's hair, and she did mine. She was shaking with excitement and holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers. I had a smaller bouquet, as her maid of honor.
The ceremony was quite lovely. I walked down the aisle first with Gamzee, the best man, and then watched Meulin walk. She looked beautiful. Being in love like that makes people beautiful, I think. Kurloz was certainly blushing!
They read their vows for each other, promising all their love, in sickness and health, for better or worse, and Meulin was crying while I held her bouquet. I've never seen her so happy. Then the priest pronounced them married and everyone cheered while we walked out, my sister and her husband grinning big.
Dinner was delicious-a course meal, with all sorts of delicacies and desserts. And the dancing! I admit I prefer to dance fast like we do in the village, but these were fun, too. I talked with some of the young men who live in the castle, and some nobility I'd never met before, and it was fun! I don't meet many new people. I don't normally like to, but once in a while it can be fun. Though I am tired and don't plan on seeing anyone else for a while. I told Meulin as much, so she'd know I was having fun and she wouldn't have to worry.
At the end of it all, the carriage took me back home, by myself. It was strange coming home to an empty house. I stoked the fire and found Button so it wouldn't feel quite so lonely. She was content to curl up in my lap while I petted her and read a book.
When it was bedtime, she went up to Meulin's room, and when my sister wasn't there, Button went searching for her, meowing to get her attention. I wanted to tell her Meulin's grown up and left, but I don't know how tell a cat that.
She finally settled down with me, but when I woke up to stoke the fire again and have some tea, she was wandering again. I found her sitting on Linny's bed, like she was confused. Poor thing. She's used to the family of three, and now it's just her and me. I'd be confused, too.
7 June 1640
It's strange, living alone. The house feels colder and louder. I look up from my book or my knitting to tell something to Linny and she's not there. I've been talking to Button a fair bit. Button doesn't much care, and she spends the day going about her cat business, but she comes home at night. I think she gets up and hunts at night, too, but I'm asleep then, and she comes home in the evenings.
It's better when I'm hunting or working in the garden, because I'm used to doing those things alone. It's the worst when I'm eating dinner alone. I hardly know what to do with myself. I've been reading, but it's not the same. It's just so strange.
9 June 1640
I'm not doing the work of two now, but there is more to be done without Meulin around. Hunting, gardening, mending, cleaning, cooking, breadmaking. I know how to do all of it, but it feels like more now with just me. I'm not sure if it is, because while I'm just me, I'm also just one mouth to feed, but it feels like more.
11 June 1640
Equius came to my house today. He doesn't normally, but I haven't been to see him in almost a week, and he was worried.
"I missed you," he said, a bit sheepish.
"I missed you too," I said. "I've just been so busy. I'm sorry I worried you. I won't do it again."
"Are you too busy?" he asked nervously.
"No, I don't think so," I told him. "I just need to get used to it. I've had time, but I haven't felt up for doing much." I shifted on the couch. "I miss my sister. I know it's silly, because she's not far away at all, but I miss her."
"Of course you do," he said. "You have lived with her your entire life."
"Yes, I suppose so," I agreed. "I mean, she's not-not gone, not like Mama. But I miss her all the same."
Equius nodded. "I am sorry. Please tell me if I can do anything at all to help you."
"Thanks, Equius."
I leaned my head on his shoulder and we stayed like that for a long while. It felt good to be with my best friend. I trust him more than almost anyone. We're both a bit odd, but I think that's part of why we're such good friends.
14 June 1640
I made my way into the village today to see my friends. I told them all about my sister's wedding, about the food and the dancing and the ceremony of it all. I've sent one letter so far, just asking how she is, and I hope to hear back soon. It won't be the same, but she's my sister. I want to keep being close to her.
Kanaya and Terezi and I sat together on the edge of the fountain and talked about things for a couple of hours this afternoon. It was lovely.
16 June 1640
Someone came by today for Meulin, asking for the midwife. I said she'd married and moved out, but I'd do what I could. I really don't like doing the work Linny does, but I can stitch a cut if I have to. It turns out that Mr. Lewis's son Thomas fell while fixing the roof and had a big cut on his head. Mama's book says that head wounds bleed a lot even if they're not serious, so I told them that, sewed it up, bandaged it, and told him to wait until the weather's dry to repair the roof.
In fairness, it's been a very wet year. We've had a lot of storms.
18 June 1640
Today was one of the worst storms yet. It was so windy the rain was practically sideways and it was howling like a dying animal. Button stayed inside all day, which she almost never does. I couldn't do much but inside work.
I checked the plants late, once the worst had passed, and they seem a bit beat up but still standing. I think the trees protect them.
20 June 1640
I went for a walk today across the river and saw that the storm had knocked an awfully big branch off one of the big old oak trees, and it was blocking the path. I had to haul it out of the way to get around.
It worries me some that the weather is so bad. Our home is well-built, but old, and I worry sometimes what might happen if one day the storms were too much for it.
23 June 1640
The big storms have been the talk of the town. Tavros's family is trying to keep their cows closer, and the farming families like Sollux's are losing crops from the wind and rain waterlogging them or simply ripping them out. Everyone's nervous for the winter. Between the bad growing season and the storms, I am too. I can live off what I hunt, and my garden is doing fine, but I don't think I could stand to see my friends go hungry.
25 June 1640
Feferi came into town today with Eridan and Gamzee. Gamzee hardly remembered Meulin's wedding, apparently. Feferi told me she heard it was lovely.
"I see you're not married yet," I observed.
"No, not yet," she said. "My mother isn't as keen as my father on marrying me off. My sister's still first in line, and I'm second, so I think she just wants us both around to inherit. Especially with Meenah going off on her own."
"Going off on her own?" I asked.
"Oh, she'll go into the city for a few days," Feferi said, quite blasé for someone whose sister vanishes for days at a time. "She always comes back. But if she ever doesn't, my mother wants me around to inherit the throne, just in case."
"I can't believe you're in line for the throne," I said.
She shrugged. "I always have been. I want to be a good queen. I'll give money to the poor."
"That's kind of you," I said. She said "the poor" in a strange way, but then, I'm not always good at understanding these things. And she certainly isn't poor.
"It's the least I can do," she said.
"I think you'll be a good queen, then," I said. "Trying to help people."
I don't know what makes a good queen, but I think trying to help is a good start.
26 June 1640
Linny came to visit today! She came in the middle of chopping so I didn't have to worry about the stove or anything. We talked for a long while, and she told me all about her new life in the castle! It's just incredible. I told her about how Equius wants to go to university for building, how Terezi's trying to save her pennies, how Kanaya's trying to learn to read, all that. I didn't worry her telling her about the storms and such. I asked her about her new married life, because I'm curious and because I want to know how she is, and she's doing well, which I'm glad to hear.
She's going to help teach Kanaya to be the midwife, because Kanaya wants to more than I do (which is to say, at all), and our mama's book is at home. I look forward to the day when I will never have to deal with a pus-soaked wound again. Kanaya has the stomach for it. I have the stomach for hunting, but not for pus and vomit and, mostly, crying. I can't stand to see people crying.
29 June 1640
It's been almost a month since Linny married. I still feel strange. I'm alone in this big house, with two empty bedrooms. I'm keeping busy, which helps, but it's still just odd being alone.
I'm doing alright. I'm not going hungry or anything, but I feel alone sometimes, especially in the evenings when I relax and do indoors work. I hope it goes away after I get used to it. I don't want to be lonely like this forever.
1 July 1640
Equius came over today and said he had something serious to talk about.
"What's happening?" I asked.
"I intend to go to school to study architecture. I will be spending my weeks in the city and the weekends here. I-I know this will be unpleasant."
"I'm going to miss you," I said. "But I'm glad you'll be here on the weekends. And we can write! Just…promise me you won't stay away. And that you'll come back."
"Of course," he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I will not move somewhere you are not."
"And it's going to be good for you. We're old enough to be getting proper jobs. You're going to be so good at this!" I said.
"Thank you," he said sincerely. "I will start in September. I wish to spend time with you before I leave."
"Come over any time," I said. "I'm usually home, unless I'm out hunting or something."
He nodded. "I want you to know I do not make this decision lightly. I have thought much about my future and this is the best choice for myself."
"Of course," I said. "I know you'll do great. And I'll see you every weekend."
"This may be a…a silly request," he said. "Would you mind terribly looking over the drawings I make?"
"I don't know anything about architecture, but sure," I said.
He smiled. "Thank you."
We read together for the rest of the day. It was nice.
3 July 1640
I'm thinking about my future now. I haven't much before. I just wanted to live to the next day. But now my sister is married and my best friend is going to school, and I'm just…here. Even my friends are starting to work more. Tavros has been doing more work with the cows, learning how to care for them, and Kanaya's learning to be a seamstress and the midwife, and Terezi's also looking to go to school. What am I doing? I hunt every day, and I make bread, and I knit my hats and sew my skirts, and what else do I do?
When I was a little girl I played pretend all the time. I still like to, in my head. I like to pretend I'm a huntress in the New World, exploring new lands, or searching for the Fountain of Youth or the City of Gold like explorers do. But those goals, they're not real. I don't have anything real.
It's very lonely in the house.
5 July 1640
I really am talking to Button a lot lately. I had half a conversation with her today about hunting, and paused for her to meow in response. She has opinions about entrails, I suppose, but I'd never know!
I wish people were as easy to read as cats. I know exactly what Button is thinking, when she wants to be petted or left alone or fed. When I look at Karkat or Sollux or even Kanaya or Tavros, I have no idea. It's very stressful.
I'm trying to spend a lot of time in the village, so I don't get too lonely. It's nice seeing my friends.
7 July 1640
I went to the village today and sat in the market with Kanaya and Vriska. I don't know why Kanaya likes Vriska, but I've seen the way she looks at her. I'm glad Kanaya has Rose. Rose may be intimidating at times-bold as brass and not at all afraid to show off her brilliance-but she has a good heart. And she's not the type to push someone into the river.
Anyways, we talked about how the storms have been, and about how we're looking forward to the fall. It's entirely too hot.
9 July 1640
I went swimming today. It is entirely too hot! I hunted my dinner and then went to the river and dove in and pretended that it was the ocean and I was on a grand adventure to cross the ocean to the other countries nearby. It is fun to pretend! People say it's childish, but I see no harm in having fun with my life. I'm enjoying myself. I don't see what's wrong with that.
12 July 1640
I hope Linny comes to visit soon. We write sometimes, but it's not the same. I hope she's as well as she sounds. I'll cook something nice for her.
I went into the village today and wandered the market with Tavros. We talked about farming and growing. He likes caring for the cows, almost the way I like caring for Button. His family's cows are awfully sweet. They have beef cows, which he says aren't so nice, but aren't around so often. The milk cows are very gentle and slow, and they don't mind being petted.
I went home with Tavros and helped him with the milking in exchange for some fresh milk. It was fun. I imagine if it was my chore every day I wouldn't be so fond of it, but just once it was fun.
14 July 1640
Meulin visited today like she said she would. We had lunch and talked about our lives and just sat together and enjoyed ourselves. I didn't tell her how much I miss her. I don't want her to worry. She still worries sometimes that I'm not going to be okay on my own. I will be. I know I will be.
Her new life seems lovely! She's talking about court and fancy dinners and her ladies-in-waiting. Apparently, they're very nice ladies. I'm glad she has people there for her, like I have my friends here. It's good to have people who care.
16 July 1640
Kanaya and I went to the apothecary's together today, because I know what my sister usually gets and we both needed things anyways. I showed her the herbs Linny uses for things and we also talked about being the midwife.
"I could never do it," I said. "I never wanted to."
"Really?"
"Ever since I was a little girl I knew I didn't want to," I told her. "My mama offered to train me, but I told her no."
"I wish my mother had offered me something other than caring for my aunt," Kanaya said. "I'm glad your sister is willing to teach me."
"Well, she has to," I said. "Or else no one will be the midwife, and that's no good."
Kanaya nodded. "Well, thank you for doing what you can."
"Of course," I said. "I mean, I'm glad to help."
She nodded and smiled and we went on with the shopping.
I have enough of everything right now. Hopefully I won't have to spend much money for a while. We only have so much, and I have less time to make embroidery when it's just me taking care of myself.
19 July 1640
It's strange how it feels like everything has changed. Very little has. I still live in the same house I've lived in almost as long as I can remember, doing the same things I've always done, with the same friends I've always had. But it feels different, like I've stepped sideways into a world almost like my old one but not quite.
Equius and I went walking today. I took him to the spring that feeds the creek and we sat there for a while, enjoying the sunshine. I like to put my feet in the cold water when it's hot. I didn't think I would when I was small and my mama first brought us to the creek, but I do, and I always have.
I think Equius would, too, but he won't take his shoes off. He says it's improper, but I think he just doesn't want to try to get his socks on his wet feet. I wouldn't tell him, though. I know I'm not always the best at knowing what's right to say, but I know Equius is awfully sensitive about being proper and I wouldn't want to upset him.
21 July 1640
With all the storms, I decided to find all the books we have about weather. I learned that clouds are made of water and wind happens because of hot and cold air. No one knows what lightning is but lightning and thunder are the same thing. (I assume no one knows what it is because I read three books that all said very confidently what it was and they were all different, so I assume they are all entirely too confident in their wrong ideas.)
Most importantly, no one can do anything about the weather. I already knew I couldn't, but besides praying, there's nothing to be done about the storms. I didn't think there was, but I was hoping. It makes me nervous when it storms.
23 July 1640
I finished knitting a nice pair of mittens today. My last pair were awfully worn out, so these should be ready when the weather turns cold.
I might need a new pair of good leather gloves soon. I use them for most everything. They keep my hands from cracking in the winter and when I wear them to garden, I don't have to feel the dirt on my hands. And they're good for shooting.
25 July 1640
I went to see Tavros today to ask about leather. But he doesn't like the slaughter part, so I had to ask his brother. I'm not particularly fond of Rufioh, because Linny told me about him and Horuss and Damara, but I asked him anyways.
He said they usually give the skin to the tanner, but they always get some back and he can set some of that aside for me. We worked it out so I'll bring them some of the vegetables in the garden in exchange, since their plot hasn't done so well, but he said it was no real hardship to give me enough for a pair of gloves.
I'm not sure I can sew leather gloves myself. I'll have to find Mrs. Greene, the leatherworker. Her husband's the tanner, so she's the leatherworker. I can also talk to her about trading for help sewing the gloves.
28 July 1640
Another storm. It makes me nervous. When we were small, Linny and I used to cuddle on one of our beds when it stormed. Our blood parents wouldn't come to comfort us and told us not to bother our nanny, so we comforted each other. I'm not so scared of storms anymore, but Linny is sometimes, deep down. There was a big storm after she ran away.
I wish sometimes our mama was our birth mama. She was the best mother I could've asked for. I'm sure she always would've been kind about how I'm different. I'd never have to pretend to be like everyone else. I know there's nothing to be done about it, and she's our mama and that's what matters, but it hurts that no one loved me when I was born.
30 July 1640
My birthday is soon. I'll be seventeen. I'm getting old! Meulin said she'd come to see me on my birthday, of course. She wrote it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, which is nice. I know she has her new life with her husband but she's still my sister.
Equius wants to do something nice for me too. He's trying to make it a surprise, but he asks very unsubtle questions. He's like me that way. We're not very good at keeping secrets. I'm certain Meulin's known about my presents for her birthdays every year.
1 August 1640
I hope the weather cools off quickly. I think it storms less when it cools off. Until the blizzards start, of course. I've been spending lots of time at the river or with my feet in the creek, trying to keep cool. It's not good weather for sitting by the fire with the knitting. I'd much rather read about plants with my feet in the creek.
I've thought about storing things near in creek, things that need to stay cool in the summer. If things don't need to be dry, especially, the creek could keep it cool. I'm not sure it'd work, but maybe I'll try sometime.
3 August 1640
I went into the village today to see my friends, and it did not go as well as I wanted. Terezi was there and I haven't seen her with Karkat for a long while, but today they were sitting together by the fountain, so I stopped to say hello. I noticed they were holding hands but didn't want to say anything because Terezi always gets upset when I bother her about these things. I think it's the only thing she's shy about.
Anyways, Terezi and I got to talking about one of the games we used to play, pretending we were adventuring in the New World, and I thought everything was fine, but Karkat kept interrupting to talk to Terezi about something else. I thought that was quite rude and finally asked him if he had something to say. He snapped back and told me to mind my own business and leave them alone and no one likes me anyways, they just put up with me.
I didn't want to cry right then and there so I left and came home. Button wasn't even here. It's just me in this big house. Maybe he's right. I know I'm not very good at people. For all I know, my friends all hate me and they just put up with me because I keep showing up.
I don't know. Button still likes me, I suppose, but I feed her. I'm not sure anyone really likes me.
5 August 1640
Today was my birthday! Linny came by to visit. She knocked on the door around lunch and she was smiling. She got me a really nice gift-a fancy emerald necklace on a silver chain. It's light and delicate so I can wear it without being annoyed. She's very nice that way.
It was nice having her home because the house feels less empty and because I think Linny still loves me. I don't think that could ever change.
We talked about it some over lunch. I told her what Karkat said to me and how I was really worried because I'm different, and she said that's absolutely not true. She told me that my friends love me (and I trust her), and that I should ask them. And she told me all the nice things she always tells me. She thinks the world of me, and believes completely that all my friends should love me.
It makes me feel a bit better that Linny still likes me. She's married and enjoying her new life, but that's because of her, not because of me. She didn't go to be away from me-she went to with her darling. And she reminded me about Equius. (As if I could forget him.) Equius is my best friend in the world. I know he's not just tolerating me. At least some people love me.
I love this necklace. Partly because it's from my sister, but also because it makes a really nice sound when it slides on the chain. It feels…calming, I suppose, to run the pendant back and forth on its chain. It's like when I rub my skirt between my fingers or bounce on my toes-it makes me feel better. It's hard to explain how it helps, but it does.
I think I'll wear it most days. As long as I don't wear it swimming or hunting, it should be safe.
7 August 1640
I thought about going into the village again today, but I wasn't feeling up to it. So I went to Equius's house. I don't do that often, because his father makes me nervous, but I really wanted to see him.
Luckily for me, his father was busy doing whatever it is rich men do. Something to do with managing the land. Horuss answered the door and called Equius out for me, and we went walking together and then had tea at my house.
I didn't really want to tell him what Karkat said, because I knew he'd be angry and do something rash, but he could tell I wasn't feeling myself.
"Karkat said something…quite rude to me the other day, in the village," I said.
"What did he say?" he asked
"Nothing important," I said.
"It is clearly important to you," he said.
"I…well, I suppose, but that's not-I-" I tried.
"Nepeta. I wish you would tell me," he said, very sternly.
"He said no one really likes me, that you all just…put up with me," I admitted.
Equius was very quiet for a moment, and then he said, "Did he now."
"Equius, please…" I tried. "Please don't. He didn't mean it…"
"If he did not mean it, he should not have said it. He is not good enough for you, Nepeta," he said. "He is a loudmouthed, obnoxious bastard and I do not understand why you would care about his opinion." Even when he's mad, he still talks perfectly properly.
"That's not fair," I said. "And don't call him that. It's not his fault his parents weren't married."
He took a deep breath. He's better about that these days. "I am sorry. However, I stand by the rest of what I said."
"I know you don't like him," I said crossly. "But please don't go…yell at him, or anything."
"Because you have asked, I will not," Equius said, but he didn't sound happy about it. "But he is wrong. He is not very smart and has no idea what makes a good friend."
"Thanks, I think," I said.
"I care about you," he said. "You are my dearest friend."
"You're my best friend, too," I said. "I love you."
"And I love you," he said.
It did make me feel better to talk to him. Equius is my best friend. He definitely actually likes me.
9 August 1640
I felt a bit better today, so I went into the village to see my friends. I saw Tavros and Kanaya in the market, so we walked and talked together for a while. I didn't tell them what Karkat said to me because I didn't want to just tell everyone. And anyways, maybe he didn't mean it. Maybe he was just angry or tired.
I don't know. But Tavros and Kanaya seemed to act like they like me, and I suppose that will have to be good enough for now.
12 August 1640
Another rainstorm last night, bigger than ever. The thunder woke me up! That's never happened before. Button seemed nervous-she didn't want to get out of bed this morning. I suspect she doesn't like the storms, either. If it rains she always comes inside to curl up by the fire. Poor girl! She doesn't even understand when I tell her it won't hurt her.
14 August 1640
I don't know what to get Linny for her birthday. She can have everything she wants up in the castle! I suppose I'll make her a nice lunch. I've never been good at picking gifts. Our mama had a talent for it, but I usually ask people what they want, and I haven't been able to ask her.
I'm sure she'll understand. We're sisters. We always understand each other.
15 August 1640
Today was Meulin's birthday! She came by to visit, but I didn't have a gift for her. She said it was completely fine and not to worry about it. We had lunch together and she worried a bit about how she's not pregnant yet. But our mama's book says that it doesn't usually happen right away, and getting pregnant can take more time, especially if you're tense.
She asked after my friends, of course, and complimented me like she does. She can tell when I'm not at my best. She tried to cheer me up by reminding me that I'm smart, and I can do calculus. I don't think being able to do calculus means much, though. It's not that difficult. I think it's quite fun, even (sometimes).
17 August 1640
Terezi and I talked today and she seemed a bit uncomfortable, and I didn't know if it was because she was embarrassed or upset with me. So I asked her, because that's what our mama and Linny have pretty much always advised me, and I trust them. She said she was sorry for what Karkat said because it was mean and she liked me.
I told her thanks and I wasn't mad at her, which is true, and I wasn't upset about it, which isn't. I'm not a very good liar, but I think Terezi was relieved I wanted to move on.
We spent the rest of the time playing at being pirates, because childish as it is, it's still fun! I'm glad Terezi is my friend. She's very good at coming up with new games.
19 August 1640
I crossed the river today to explore. I passed through the clearing with nightshade berries and found a few interesting deer paths. There's another creek a bit downstream on the other side of the river that leads to a lovely little pond. I think there's some small animal living in the pond, a beaver or a vole or something.
I'll have to find the books on animals. I've memorized when a lot of them come out, but I haven't much kept track of the water animals. I should add them to my project!
21 August 1640
It rained today. I went out to Mama's grave afterwards, because I miss her. I went out to see her and sat in front of her grave and thought about when she was alive. Linny talks to her sometimes. I don't. I know she can't hear us anymore and talking anyways just makes it feel worse. I just sit there and remember her. Sometimes I pray. I pray that she's in heaven and that she's with her old family. I pray that she's alright, that she doesn't have melancholy anymore, that she's happy. She loved us so much, but Linny and I knew she carried a heavy sadness with her. I hope she doesn't have to carry that with her in heaven.
I know we'll be with her again someday in God. But that doesn't make it any easier to be apart from her now.
23 August 1640
It stormed again today, harder than ever. I stayed inside all day. In the morning it was gray and by lunchtime it was raining. Button and I sat by the fire while I worked on knitting my new cloak. Then it started with thunder and lightning, and the wind! I've never heard the wind howl like that before. I thought the rain would break the glass. I could almost feel the lightning-I think a bolt struck one of the trees. Everything was loud-the rain, the thunder, the wind. It was too much. I had to go up to my room and curl up on my bed and try to block out the sounds. Button came with me, which was nice. It was just so loud it hurt.
I haven't eaten dinner. I know I should, but I'm so tired from the storm. I hope that's the last of it, with fall setting in. I can't take another like that.
25 August 1640
Today was a hunting day, since I'm low on meat. So many trees had fallen. The big pine tree in the middle of one of the clearing fell, crashing into some of the younger oaks and maples. It's almost like seeing someone die. It's not the same, of course, but there is a mourning to seeing the big old trees that have been around since my mama was young on the forest floor.
Her graveyard is safe, though. I checked. And our garden is still alright. The storm was bad, but I'll be alright.
27 August 1640
I went into the village today. What a sight it was. I saw Tavros standing in the rubble and he told me what happened. When the storm was hitting, a huge cloud shaped like a dangling strand of gray yarn came down and crashed into the village, ripping up everything in its wake. It didn't last very long, but it destroyed crops and houses, and the village is half gone. Everything is in pieces. There's no time to replant before the harvest begins and a lot of the animals died, too. No one knows quite what to do but wander the rubble where their houses were, trying to find the things that mattered to them.
And people died. My good friends are alive, but the Andersons all passed and the mother and second son of the Coopers did, too.
More will die of hunger and cold. We need to put everything back together, and quickly. I can't let anyone in this village go hungry. People have been mean to me, but I would never let them starve. I have to help.
Tavros didn't know who was in charge when I saw him. He and his family are just trying to find the rest of their cattle that escaped. I hope they find them.
30 August 1640
I've been hunting these past few days and bringing meat to families who don't have much, or anything. People are burning the ruins of their old homes for cooking. It's hard to see.
But no one seems to be leaving. I suppose this is our home. It's our village. The storm may have torn up the houses, but we're going to put it back together. We will. We have to.