Author's Note:
Lord, but forgive the massive typos in the last chapter. I think I was half asleep when I typed chapter four. Thank you for the wonderful reviews, though!
Chapter Five
When Kagome opened her eyes, Inuyasha was there. He'd been there since dawn, waiting for her eyes to open. He was perched on his knees beside the make-shift pallet where she'd slept the night before. The look on his face was apologetic. She knew what he was going to say before he even said it.
"You didn't have to sleep on the floor...I'm sorry."
He was sorry. He was apologizing again. Again. Every night after he turned human he apologized. It was something she was growing to expect. Instead of saying anything, this time all she did was nod. She usually voiced that everything was alright.
All she did was nod and rolled onto the opposite side, facing away from him. She didn't want his apology. He must have known, because he reached out to touch her shoulder but his hand paused inches from doing so before he stood.
His bare feet padded on the floor boards before the outside stairs creaked and then silence filled the hut.
Kagome stared at the opposite wall, her head pillowed on her arm. He couldn't keep apologizing to her. She wasn't going to let him. The thought was clear in her mind. She was tired of Inuyasha's apologetic games, she was tired of the comparison that he said wasn't there.
Thoughts from the night before came back and she closed her eyes. Sango and Kouga were the only two people outside of Inuyasha that she had ever opened up to. Her other didn't count. She wasn't so sure that Inuyasha even counted. Their relationship was a whole different matter. But Sango and Kouga? Sango knew secrets about her that not even Inuyasha knew. Kouga knew them because he'd witnessed them.
He knew things that he shouldn't know.
She winced at the reminder of how she had spilled her heart out to him. She hadn't meant to, but she'd just been so...angry with a dead woman. A dead woman, could you believe that? It didn't make sense. Kouga hadn't laughed at her. He'd stood there and listened without rebuke. Inuyasha would have told her there was nothing to talk about and would have bounded off into the trees.
Kouga had attended to her wounded palms and listened.
Why was he so nice to her? She hadn't even been that good of a friend to him.
She'd admitted to the one thing that Kouga had no business hearing from her lips. He may not have understood what those words had meant, but he'd heard them he was going to muse over them. She could have soothed herself with the thought that he hadn't heard the words. But he'd tensed when she'd spoken them.
Maybe he understood all too well.
Where was Inuyasha?
He was going to Kikyou's grave like he did every morning.
Kagome kicked the covers back with fever and jumped to her feet, her heart pounding. She took off running through the door barefoot and down the wooded path. She remembered what she had done to Kikyou's roses and her expression twisted in horror. She couldn't let Inuyasha see that. As much as she disliked Kikyou's memory, she didn't deserve that and Inuyasha certainly didn't.
Pebble stones dug into the heels of her bare feet and she skidded to a halt, her heart in her throat at the sight of Inuyasha. He was already there and was staring at the view beneath Kikyou's archway.
The roses and vines weren't strewn about as they had been last night. She didn't see the vines, but all the roses that were still intact were gathered beneath the archway in a neat pile. The roses were lined up in a center-less circle and in her time, she could have easily imagined them perched atop a tombstone.
She hadn't...
Kouga.
He'd come back last night. He'd corrected the damage done by her hands.
What the hell did Kagome mean she couldn't be Marked?
The thought played itself over in his mind as Kouga flipped Sango's son backwards over his head, teaching him the fine lines of dodging an enemy as mother and father watched from a distance. He was enjoying himself and he was sure the boy was having more fun than he was letting on.
What the fuck did she mean she couldn't be marked?
He'd played it over in his mind over and over and still it didn't make sense. All night and through the morning the thought had plagued his mind. What the hell did she mean she couldn't be Marked?
His lips firmed into a thin line. There was only one thing that came to mind when he thought of Marked and the mutt better have done his job. His blue eyes narrowed as he dodged a thin blade thrown his way. Kagome had better be Marked. The mutt had had plenty of time. By the God's, what the FUCK did she mean by that?
He was thoroughly dumb founded and the thought was leaving him irked.
He laughed loudly as the boy suddenly kicked his shin and Kouga went down to one knee. "That's not fighting fair, boy."
"I brought you down, didn't I?"
He couldn't hear Miroku laughing in the background as he suddenly launched himself forward and caught the boy under the arms and threw him over his shoulder. The boy beat back and then grabbed his tail and Kouga gave a playful growl. "Now who's down?"
He could imagine himself training his own pups in this manner. Laughing, growling and pulling at his tail in an attempt to get their way. Maybe someday...
No.
He dumped the boy over his shoulder from behind. He held onto his tail and threatened to swing back and forth. Kouga gave another mock growl but let the boy have his fun. He looked at the pregnant Sango and the way she was casually leaning against her boomerang. "You're not gonna hit me with that thing again, are you?" He was still wondering why she'd done it in the first place. Kouga knew he was hard headed, but why was he suddenly an idiot? He hadn't done anything that he was aware of.
"At a later time, maybe." Sango called out.
Kouga winced. She sounded a little too serious. He looked at Miroku. "Do you know what I did to piss her off?"
Miroku held his hands up, one holding the staff. "It's not my place to question what Sango does."
Kouga almost snickered. Miroku knew his place and it was hiding behind his strong woman. The poor monk. He turned around and looked over his shoulder, wagging his tail from side to side. "How about getting this thing off my tail?"
"Looks pretty attached to me."
Kouga's smile dropped at the sound of Kagome's voice and he turned his head. She was sitting on Sango's front porch with her elbows on her knees and her chin propped in her hands. He arched an eyebrow and reached behind and gave a tug to the back of the boys shirt.
Maybe he was attached.
Hell.
Sango beckoned with her hand and as if knowing his mother wouldn't take no for an answer, he let go of the fury tail and walked over to his mother. Kouga never would understand how Sango had her children in hand while Miroku had to plead. Something whistled through the air and Kouga turned his head.
He cursed and back flipped as Sango's boomerang flew past him. He knew the return method and rolled to the side, his eyebrows snapping down.
Sango lifted her hand and caught the boomerang one handed, her eyes trained on him.
"What the hell, woman? I didn't do anything." Kouga muttered.
"Hormones." Was the only reply he got.
He didn't know much about a humans pregnancy, but he did know what hormones were. They made women crazy. Human and demon alike.
He followed behind the growing family but kept his distance in case the slayer decided to take her hormones out on him again. Seeing Kagome, he looked around. "Where's mutt face?"
Kagome shrugged. "He's not here."
Sango looked as if she wanted to hit him again and he dropped down to sit beside Kagome on the porch. He was pulling a Miroku here. She wouldn't hit him with Kagome so close to him. The front door closed, leaving him and Kagome to their fixtures and Kouga gave a mental sigh.
What the hell did she mean she couldn't be Marked?
"Thank you." Kagome said. "For going back last night and..."
Kouga dropped his arms onto his knees. "Don't mention it." He knew how much that place meant to her. Even he knew that Kagome hadn't meant to do it. Inuyasha was none the wiser to the damage.
Imbecile. As much as he wanted to think nice of the half demon, after every nice thought was an insult. He was sure Inuyasha did the same to him. He stood and turned to face her and offered his hand. "Walk with me. I want to ask you something."
Kagome stared at his offered hand. It was tan and callused with surprisingly clean finger nails. She took his hand and he helped her to her feet. "What?" She pulled her hand away as soon as she was standing and followed him off the porch. He didn't take her in any one certain direction, just forward.
He didn't answer her right away, just kept walking until they were past the forest line not too far away. She was light, but she still heard her own footsteps moving over the ground. She barely heard his. He moved fleetingly, pushing low hanging branches further overhead so she could duck beneath them. "What is it?" She asked into the silence.
Kagome trusted few people in the feudal era. She knew that in these times, you couldn't afford to trust the wrong person. Kouga was one of the few people she trusted.
He didn't answer her, just kept his slow pace beside her. A stroll the park—er, woods—eh? His aura pushed at hers, strong and masculine.
He was annoyed.
"Hey." She reached out when he moved a little quicker, ahead of her by two steps. She grabbed his forearm. "What's wrong?"
Kouga stopped, his tail twitching. He turned on his heel and towered over her. "What the hell did you mean you can't be Marked?"
Kagome stared up at him and her mouth dropped open. "What?"
"What the hell did you mean when you said you can't be Marked?" Kouga repeated, his eyes narrowed.
Their conversation from the night before came back to mind. She didn't answer him. She couldn't.
"Answer me, Kagome. Has mutt faced Marked you?" He asked incredulously. Kagome caught onto his hidden meaning and what he didn't say. He hasn't, not has.
Kouga cursed loudly when her silence ensued and his expression darkened. He was angry. Kagome could feel it through his aura.
"Do I need to show the mutt how to properly Mark his mate?" Kouga said sourly.
Kagome balled her fists. It wasn't that simple.
He wasn't one prone to anger but when Kagome didn't answer him he leaned down and buried his face against her neck. His nose twitched, inhaling her skin before he pulled back to his full height. She smelled like Kagome. She also smelled like Inuyasha—but there was nothing to signal the scent of a Mated pair.
His eyes narrowed further and Kouga bit the inside of his cheek. "Why are you here and the mutt isn't?"
"His name is Inuyasha, Kouga."
Kouga stared down at her. She was reprimanding him? That was something she normally did to Inuyasha. He was on the receiving end this time.
"Why are you here and Inuyasha isn't?" She still didn't answer him but she was starting to look uncomfortable. He had the feeling that this wasn't particularly any of his business—but he'd be damned if he didn't get an answer. Inuyasha and Kagome were going around playing house and Kagome wasn't entirely happy with the situation. And they weren't...
"Why aren't you Mated?"Kouga punctuated the words evenly, speaking the words that were the foremost on his mind. The truth. That was what he wanted in return from her.
Kagome slapped him.
The slap echoed around them and while Kouga barely felt the slap, a muscle in his jaw ticked. He waited in terse silence.
"You got your answer last night." Kagome said, her palm throbbing from the slap. He didn't even look winded.
"Kikyou?" Kouga questioned and she didn't even have to answer that questioned name for him to know it was true. She'd said that Kikyou was always in the way. "And you're here alone because?"
Kagome turned away but Kouga caught her wrist and turned her back towards him. "Why hasn't he Marked you, Kagome?"
"Because he can't." Kagome snapped out, her voice desperate. Kouga was domineering in what he wanted and he always had been. He wanted to know the answers to things he had no right to know. She hit his chest with her balled fist and felt nothing but the hard steel of his armor. "Because he gave everything he had to Kikyou. Everything. Do you know what that means?"
Kagome stared up at his terse expression. His eyes were dark. "I'm here because I need away from it all. All I ever hear is Kikyou. I'll always be her reincarnation." Inuyasha wasn't happy about the fact that she had said she was going to stay with Sango for a few days. Because he knew why. She'd suddenly had it with his comparison of her and Kikyou. He knew it.
It honestly didn't hurt as much as it probably should have.
Kouga finally spoke, but his tone wasn't any less ominous. "Do you want me to kill him?"
Was he serious? Kagome gave a small laugh. "No. What I want is to be left alone."
Kouga frowned. "You've never been second to me, Kagome." His tone had softened.
That was it, wasn't it? She was second to Kikyou. She finally admitted it to herself. But she was messed up, wasn't she, that she wasn't entirely sure what to do about Inuyasha. They had a history that bi-passed all others.
"I'm not?" Kagome questioned him. "I'm second to Kikyou. Inuyasha wants me because I look like her, doesn't he? He cares for me in his own way, but that doesn't matter, does it? I'm being used, that's the truth, isn't it?"
Kagome hit his chest again. "And you? You used me, too, remember? Everyone wants something from me, right?"
Kouga snarled and moved so fast he was in her face. "I didn't use you." He shook his head when she would have interrupted him. "You have never been second to me."
He lowered himself so that he was the same height as her. He opened his mouth to say something but instead tangled his hands in her hair and kissed her.
"Go home, Kagome. Go back to Sango's before I do something we'll both end up regretting. Because we both know you're not Mated. You're not Inuyasha's and you're not mine."
Because the thing was—Kagome wasn't Inuyasha's. Not entirely. If she was, she wouldn't be with Sango. She wouldn't be out here with him.
She slapped him again. This time Kouga felt the mind sting and the fury behind it but he didn't do anything as she walked away, leaving him alone in the forest. He'd just learned the bitter truth of Kagome's sweet lies. He'd told himself what he was going to do if he was given the chance again. For her sake, he'd just let her go. Again. For all intents and purposes she was Inuyasha's...and he was trying to honor whatever kind of bond the two had. Even if it was little to nothing.
Mates, he thought sourly, were for life.
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