A/N: I hope my 7 month absence from this didn't lose me a lot of readers but if it did…I'm sorry, COVID just put me in a place mentally that I couldn't figure this one out.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

Bennett was escorted out by armed guards, Casey supervising. Chuck glared at Bennett every step of the way. Mary was on the phone. Sarah thought Mary was talking to Beckman, but wasn't sure. Carina and Zondra stood so that they separated Chuck and Sarah from everyone else.

"Is there anything we know yet?" Chuck asked, his voice hard. Sarah sighed. Since he had finished crying, Chuck had tried to become someone he wasn't. He was trying to become the leader he thought they needed. Sarah started to reply, when Mary pushed through Carina and Zondra and strode up to them.

"What the hell was that?" Mary hissed. "I find out in the middle of talking to Diane that-"

"Did you, or did you not tell me I'm in charge?" Chuck asked.

"In the field, but not with picking the missions!" Mary replied.

"Well, we are in the field," Chuck said. Mary set her jaw, and nodded.

"If that's the way you want it, Chuck, then that's the way it will be." Mary turned and hobbled away on her cane. Chuck grabbed his hair in his hands and screamed in frustration.

"Chuck," Sarah began.

"I'm fine, I just need a minute," he said, walking off.

Sarah stood there, torn as to what to do.

"Hey, wait a second," Carina said softly. "There's something you need to know." Sarah turned, and saw the seriousness on Carina's face. "Bennett always planned on shooting Chuck that day." Sarah's eyes went wide. "Bryce apparently grabbed Bennett's hand, and twisted it. Bennett went with it, and according to Frost, Larkin had the gun jabbed in his gut to prevent Bennett from killing Chuck." Sarah turned and ran. "Where are you going?"

"To talk to Mary," Sarah said, running.

}o{

"You almost lost your entire family that day," Sarah said softly. Mary turned around, tears in her eyes. "You husband still hasn't come out of that coma, your leg is still bothering you, and your son was nearly gut-shot."

"How…" Mary began, but then she shook her head. "I shouldn't be surprised… of course you know."

"He wanted revenge for Bryce, and you thought you were going to lose him," Sarah said. Mary nodded, unable to speak. "The plan… this plan, it was put together by all of us: Bryce, Morgan, Carina, Zondra, me, Chuck… all of us."

"It was a good plan," Mary said softly.

"Good plans can go bad," Sarah replied. Mary nodded. "Good plans can get people killed." Mary nodded again. Sarah stepped up to Mary, and Mary pulled her in for a hug and began to cry. "You're human, it's okay."

"I know," Mary sobbed. "I was just so damned scared. He's my son." Sarah pulled her tighter, just being with Mary, letting her get it all out.

}o{

"Are we ready to go?" Chuck asked Sarah, her leaning against the car.

"I don't know, are we?" Sarah asked, giving him a look.

"What did I do?" Chuck asked. Sarah tilted her head. "Seriously, what? You agreed with the plan."

"Oh, I did, Chuck, but… do we want to talk, ride and talk, or go to your room and talk?"

"Let's ride and talk," Chuck said. "I want to get home and get a shower." Sarah nodded, opened the door and got in. "By the way, I would have thought you more of a Porsche person."

"Why?" Sarah asked.

"I don't know… speed, sleek, classy," Chuck replied, shrugging.

"Well, there wasn't one in the garage, and you told me to take anything I wanted," Sarah began.

"I did," Chuck replied.

"But this… this has power, speed, and Casey said it has special plating in it. And since we were assaulting an enemy…" Sarah trailed off, shrugging.

"I mean, it's also black, and you look badass in it," Chuck told her. She shook her head. "So, what did I do?"

"I'm going to put this in terms you can understand," Sarah began. "Empire Strikes Back." Chuck's eyebrows raised. "Luke left Dagobah before he was ready."

"He had no choice," Chuck protested.

"I'm not saying he did," Sarah replied. "He did what he thought he needed to do, to save his friends. Sound familiar?"

"It does," Chuck admitted.

"Luke learned an awful truth, and lost something," Sarah told him.

Chuck snorted. "Yeah, his hand."

"And his innocence, in how he thought things were," Sarah added. Chuck's eyes widened at her deeper understanding of the movie. "He learned an awful truth."

"I learned how far I could go," Chuck replied somberly.

"Now, I would argue you didn't lose anything this time. You lost that, when Skip died." Chuck was silent. "But you learned hate, and anger. You embraced it all, at the injustice that had been done to Bryce, your mom, your dad, and Anna." Chuck nodded. "For a minute, you almost went to the dark side."

"But I didn't," Chuck pointed out.

"Chuck, if I wasn't there, would you have shot him?" The question hung in the air.

"I don't know," Chuck admitted.

"At least you're honest," Sarah replied.

"I need to ask you a very important question," Chuck began. Sarah nodded. "Does this make you Leia?"

"No," Sarah replied, not sure what that was about.

"Thank God!" he breathed, and then it dawned on her, making her smile. "Sarah, why did you stop me? Why did you tell me you didn't want me to? Would you have hated me?"

"No, Chuck, I wouldn't have hated you," Sarah replied. "I would have understood. But you would have hated yourself, for a very long time. And it would have changed you. There may come the day where you do have to kill someone in the field. But that wouldn't have been what that was, would it?"

"No, it would not," Chuck admitted. "Thank you, for saving me from myself."

"My pleasure," Sarah replied. "Did my example make sense?"

"Yeah," Chuck answered. "And it explains Mom's panic. She was worried I wouldn't survive it."

"Mother's do that, you know," Sarah told him. There was silence for a moment. "I need to tell you something." Chuck glanced over at her. She pulled into her parking spot, turned off the car, and looked over at him. "I also kept you from shooting him for a very selfish reason."

"What's that?" Chuck asked, confused.

"I did it, because I didn't want to see you go through the pain and the suffering you would have gone through. I did it, because you don't deserve to beat yourself up. Chuck, I did it for me. I don't want to see you hurt any longer."

}o{

He walked out of the bathroom and began to dress, thinking about the last half-hour, in his mind. Chuck had been too stunned to speak, and then Carina had slapped the top of the car with her hand. The two had jumped like teenagers who had been caught necking at some make-out spot in high school.

They had quickly gotten out of the car, and gone their separate ways. Chuck finished dressing, and looked in the mirror. "You done hiding?" he asked himself quietly. "You done trying to deny what she means to you?" He nodded at his reflection. Turning, he went to the door, and opened it, startling Sarah, whose fist was raised as if she was about to knock.

"You okay?" Sarah asked. "You have a very determined look on your face."

"I have something I have to do, and it involves you," Chuck told her.

"Well, it's gonna have to wait. Mary needs to see us," Sarah told him.

"Of course she does," Chuck muttered.

"What does that mean?" Sarah asked.

"It means every time we start to get close, or I start to tell you how much I care about you, and need you in my life, personally, either Casey bursts in with something, or Carina or Zondra stick their head in this door, or there's a national emergency."

"Every time?" Sarah asked, amusement on her face. But Chuck missed it, he was so wound up in the moment.

"Okay," he admitted. "Maybe not every time." He sighed. "Sometimes I chicken out, or when we fall asleep holding each other and I'm not sure you're asleep or I don't want to ruin it, I don't say anything."

"How would you ruin it?" Sarah asked.

"I mean you might become offended and run off," Chuck pointed out.

"What have I ever done to give you that idea? And I don't ask that to be mean. I ask it to make sure I'm not doing something that you might be misinterpreting."

"Nothing," Chuck replied with a shrug. "It's just my insecurities raising their ugly head. So, let's go see my mom."

"Okay, but after that is over, we are coming back here, and having that discussion you want to have," Sarah told him. "We need to be on the same page."

"Right, for the mission," Chuck said nodding.

"No… for us," Sarah told him, turning and walking off. It was then it occurred to him exactly what he'd said.

}o{

Sarah was counting in her head, wondering how long it would be until he caught up to her after he realized what he'd said. She only got to twenty before he was there beside her. She could feel the nerves and anxiety radiating off him. She had come to her own conclusions during their time apart, after the car and before she knocked on the door.

Chuck Bartowski was the kindest man she had ever met. He had also been hurt, badly. He didn't think he deserved anyone, and Sarah thought he deserved better than her. That was their problem. She was never going to push, and neither was he; at least, that had been her plan. But somewhere between hearing him talk to his father, as he lay in a hospital bed, and her learning about the Intersect and everything he was trying to do for his family, she fell in love.

She hadn't wanted to; she hadn't meant to. She decided she would fight it, and then she and Morgan had their talk and while she, at that time, didn't know what she was feeling, it had begun to grow. You didn't just fall in love with Chuck Bartowski. You didn't just acknowledge it had happened, and ignore it. It was like that damn thing in the Alien movie. It grew in you. It didn't burst out of your chest, though… No, that would be simple.

If it would just burst you, that you could deal with. No, when you fell in love with Chuck Bartowski, it burrowed its way into your heart. And then into your eyes, so you could watch his kind smile, and how he treated you. It went into your hands, your fingers, as you felt his curly hair and rubbed his head. It made its ways into your lips, and you had to feel his lips, or his skin, on them.

It made its way into your legs and feet, until you needed his to keep your feet warm, until you needed to feel his leg beside yours for reassurance. And then, and only then, did it go to your brain, and make you say things that you would never say. Admit things you would never admit to anyone. And then, after it had enveloped you, until you couldn't take one more bit of it, it made its way into your skin.

The constant need to touch, the constant need to be near him. It was becoming as needed as oxygen. She loved Chuck Bartowski. She knew it, and she was certain she couldn't do a damn thing about it. Then she thought she didn't know what to do about it. The smart thing would have been to run, and that… that was when life knocked her on her ass.

It had been inside of her father's room, after Chuck had left to give them some privacy.

"Darlin', I was wrong. He is a good guy."

"Who, Dad?" Sarah asked, not understanding.

"You're gonna make me say it, huh?" Jack studied her a moment, and shook his head. "I've done a lot of research on this guy, since you joined up with him."

"Chuck?" Sarah asked. "Dad, you can't try and con him," she hissed.

"And do you know why I can't con him?" Jack asked her. Sarah shook her head. He pointed at her and grinned. "Because you wouldn't let me." Sarah crossed her arms and looked away, feeling heat on her neck. He was right. She would not let Jack con Chuck. "And your response is all the proof I need."

"Dad, it's not that simple," Sarah began.

"Nah, Darlin'… Love, real love… true love… it's the simplest thing in the world." She turned slowly to see who the man in the bed was, and ask what the hell he'd done with her father.

And that's when she saw him. He, in that moment, looked tired, beat, and maybe he was losing this battle. There were tears in his eyes. "You don't want to be like me."

"Dad," Sarah began.

"I ain't dyin'," Jack said, the weariness in his voice apparent. "But, when you sit here, and get these drugs that heal you and make you sick as a dog at the same time…" He trailed off for a second. "You think, you know?" Sarah nodded, but really didn't understand. "I've screwed up so many things in my life, so for once in your life, please listen to me. There is real love in this world. It is rare. It is powerful." He looked her right in the eye. "And that schnook…" He pointed in the general direction of Chuck. "That schnook feels real love for you, and you feel it for him."

"I'm not good enough for him, Dad," Sarah said softly.

Jack snorted. "Darlin'… you're too damn good for him, but I know what you mean."

"So, what do I do?" she asked, not expecting an answer.

"You go forward with him," Jack told her with a shrug. Sarah stood there, her mouth agape. "Listen, he doesn't think he's good enough for you, you don't think your good enough for him, and anyone that looks at you two can see real, honest-to-God love. The kind of love those stupid songs are written about."

"Dad, you're practically gushing," Sarah said, grinning at him.

"It's these damn drugs, making me half outta my mind, I tell ya," Jack said, shaking his head. "Just do me a favor; watch him watch you. See yourself from his eyes, from his point of view, and I guarantee you… you'll understand what I mean."

And she did.

Chuck had done everything in the world to protect, comfort, and love her, without wanting anything from her. If she'd thought she was a goner when it came to Chuck Bartowski before, she had no idea how to categorize what was currently happening. Sarah Walker was absolutely, totally in love. And she didn't care what anyone else thought, except Chuck Bartowski.

As he caught up to her in the hallway, she never looked down. Her hand just reached over, and captured his. She felt him looking at her, and it was all she could do to not stop walking, pin him against the wall, and kiss him senseless. It was all she could do to not say the hell with this meeting, and take him back to his room, and just be with him. Not physically, not emotionally, but just be.

But, she didn't. Instead she squeezed his hand and she felt the nerves slowly dissipate between them. She looked over at him, caught his gaze, and nodded. He returned the nod and began to smile at her. She winked at him, and they walked hand-in-hand to Mary's office.

}o{

Mary looked from one to the other, her gaze resting a moment and the two of them holding hands. She looked up at them, sighed and leaned back in her chair. "So, how is this going to work?"

Sarah spoke quickly, before Chuck could spiral. "How is what going to work… Mary?" Sarah asked. Mary rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Do we need Beckman for this?"

"No, this is between…" she paused, looked at the two of them, chuckled, and continued. "Us." She lifted her chin. "This is my group, my baby, my project, and to give it up…"

"Who said anything about you giving it up?" Chuck asked. Mary focused on him, and Chuck faltered for a second, but then Sarah squeezed his hand, and he straightened. "What happened was about you two going on and on, and something needed to be done. We could do it, and I know you knew that, but you were hesitant, or there would have been no discussion with Diane. You would have insisted we go."

Mary looked down at her desk, and gently nodded. "You're right." She lifted her gaze and locked it on Sarah. "I was scared."

"You had a right to be," Sarah said. "You two have been through hell the past few months. Stephen still hasn't come out of what happened to him, Bryce still isn't one hundred-percent, and you…" she trailed off. "Not saying you can't kick my ass in the shape you're in, but I bet it would take a lot longer than normal."

"Sarah… we both know if I was one hundred-percent I couldn't kick your ass. I'm not even sure I could win a fight against you," Mary admitted. "But you are right… mentally, emotionally we were hurt, and I wasn't sure you were ready."

"So, nothing changes," Chuck said with a shrug. "This has always been about family. Maybe our family is growing, and I'm not sure what relation we make Casey. Is there a weird, grunty uncle, or cousin, category?"

"If there's not we will make one for him," Mary said. "So, we are going through the records we found at Bennett's, and the amount of gun-running he was doing is troubling. Do you have any suggestions for our next move?"

"I do," Sarah spoke up. Chuck turned to her. "Chuck and I have to debrief on several subjects." He blinked… that couldn't mean what ran through his head. "We need to have a very thorough conversation, and understand each other. A miscommunication between us could be devastating."

"I agree," Mary said, twisting her lips. "I don't suspect Bennett will give us any information for some time, if at all. So, do you think you should do this in the conference room? Or someplace more… intimate?"

"More intimate," Sarah replied. "I feel Chuck would be more comfortable being debriefed in a less public area… like his room."

"I don't know that, but your reasoning is sound," Mary agreed. "Do you think forty-eight hours would be long enough to debrief each other?"

Sarah couldn't speak for a second. "While I would think so, I just don't know." Mary smiled at Sarah. "With your permission, of course."

"Sarah, I don't own him," Mary told Sarah.

"Yeah, but I hope you approve."

Mary smiled at Sarah. "I want you both to be happy, and if this is what you want, then I am behind you both."

"Did I just get put up for an arranged marriage?" Chuck asked.

"Don't be ridiculous," Mary said, grabbing a file off her desk, and opening it. "If that was the case, you wouldn't have been in the room during negotiations."

Chuck stared at his mother, confused, as Sarah pulled him out of the room.

}o{

Chuck walked into his room, still trying to figure out what had just happened. He turned toward Sarah to speak. As he turned, her hands cupped his face, and her lips met his. A few seconds later, she pulled away, quickly. "I'm sorry," she said, backing away.

"You have nothing to be… sorry… for… what the hell are you doing?" Chuck asked. Sarah had locked the door, went and got a chair and lodged it under the door handle so no one could get in. "Are you expecting an attack?"

"Oh, you are getting attacked," Sarah told him. Chuck's eyebrows shot up. "This is to make sure, Carina, Zondra, Casey, or whoever the hell else wants to show up, does not get in."

"I'm so confused… first I was getting debriefed, then kissed, now attacked," Chuck began, as Sarah grinned. "What in the world is going-"

"I love you, Chuck," Sarah said, stopping him in his tracks. "I think you deserve better than me, but I did what my father said; I watched you watch me, through your eyes. I watched how you treated me, and you know what I saw?"

"No," Chuck said breathlessly.

"I saw you wanting the best for me, with no concern about you," Sarah told him, walking up and taking his hands. "I saw you love me, care for me, and just want me to be happy. And do you know what makes me happy, Chuck?"

"I know what I hope makes you happy," Chuck said softly.

"It's you," she told him. "You make me-"

"I love you," Chuck blurted out. "And, I don't know why in the hell I make you happy, but I am glad. And if you'll let me, that's what I want to do."

"Okay," Sarah said with a grin. "I'll let you." He leaned forward, and gently kissed her. As he pulled away, her hand caught him by the neck, a wicked grin on her face. "Chuck, do you know what would really make me happy?"

"If I debrief you?" Chuck asked, bouncing his eyebrows.

"Mr. Bartowski," Sarah said, shock in her voice. Chuck shook his head, confusing her.

"It's Mr. Walker, if you'll have me," he said softly. Her eyes went wide, and his lips went to her neck, hitting her pulse-point, making her eyelids flutter. His large hands slowly made their way across her back. She couldn't take it another second, and suddenly Chuck Bartowski was flying through the air, landing on his back on the bed, wide-eyed.

She pulled off her shirt, and pounced on him. "I know you like it when I flip you," she smirked. He smiled, leaned up, and caught her bottom lip between his. She pushed him back, smiling, and grabbed the bottom of his shirt. With one quick move, he found himself topless.

"That's a little hot," Chuck muttered. She reached down, and unbuttoned his pants. "I guess you were serious about these debrief… OH MY GOD! MY MOM!" Chuck yelled. Sarah threw back her head and laughed, as he began to sit up. "My Mom!" he yelled. He began to speak again, when Sarah unsnapped her bra and let if fall. His mouth opened, but no words came out.

"Something you wanted to say?" Chuck shook his head. "Good… now the only noises I want to hear are you moaning, or saying my name… got it?" Chuck nodded, and sat up, his lips by her ear.

"I love you, Sarah," he said softly.

"Oh, God," she muttered. "It's time to debrief."

And she did.

A/N: But…but what if he's wearing boxers? I know, I know. I have nothing else done one this one, but all sorts of ideas about what is next. Hope you'll come back when it's back. It should be soon. Take care, see you soon.