Between two worlds

by Angie296

Mizuki ends up inside the walls without remembering where she came from. All she knows is that she does not belong to that world, and that she wants to return home. To do so, she has no choice but to rely on the Survey Corps, and on her golden eyes capable of tinging the color of blood, inherited from her father, the last descendant of the Uchiha clan. Levi X OC

18. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: You could break my heart in two, but when it heals, it beats for you. You're stuck in my head and I can't get you out of it. If I could do it all again, I know I'd go back to you.

Back to you - Selena Gomez

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The knife's blade slid effortlessly over the shiny skin of the apple; as it moved, the brilliant red peel lifted, curling into voluptuous spirals. Mizuki's gaze was hypnotized by the rapid, confident movements of Hange's hands.

"So, Mizuki, here it is: this is everything you missed during the two weeks you were fighting between life and death!"

The girl smiled good-naturedly and smoothed the wool blanket laid across her legs. Mizuki sat on the service bed in the infirmary, her back resting against the wall, legs stretched out in front of her. Hange, who had come to visit the recovering patient with a basket of fresh apples as a gift, was seated on a wooden chair next to the window. "I wasn't fighting between life and death, Hange. It was just a flu, though it was a pretty bad one."

"I know, I know! But it sounded way cooler that way!"

"So, what I missed was just the discovery of a diary by a certain Ilse Langnar, who disappeared during last year's expedition, claiming to have encountered a talking Titan, and the discovery of her headless corpse in some sort of temple…" Mizuki said, bringing the conversation back to the main topic.

"A headless, mummified corpse that was probably honored by the talking Titan!"

"Right, right. Besides that, we have Commander Erwin's approval of your plan to capture a Titan…"

"FINALLY, I might add!"

"…and its immediate execution, which resulted in the capture of not one but two Titans."

"Exactly! Oh, I haven't told you their names yet!" Hange chirped, beaming. With a graceful gesture, she finished peeling the apple and expertly sliced it into pieces. "Wanna know?"

Mizuki's smile widened. She accepted the slice her squad leader offered her and brought it to the mouth. "Sure."

With eyes shining, Hange solemnly announced, "Cikatiloni and Albert the Second!"

A piece of apple got stuck in Mizuki's throat for the surprise, and she began coughing violently. "Albert… cough… cough… the Second?"

"Exactly." Hange nodded with dignity. "You know, in honor of Albert the First. I don't want him thinking he's been replaced or forgotten."

Even though the subject of their conversation was a Titan, whose favorite meal would have been Hange herself if it had the choice, Mizuki's heart clenched at yet another example of her squad leader's extraordinary mind. Hange's brain worked in a unique way, different from anyone else's, and Mizuki couldn't help but admire her. Twirling one of the apple slices between her fingers, eyes lowered, she casually asked, "So, it was the captain's squad that helped you capture Cikatiloni and Albert the Second…" and her heart skipped a beat.

"Exactly! They're the best! Even Mike gave a hand."

"I see…"

Come on, ask her, Mizuki urged herself. You only brought this up for that reason, right?

Yes, that was it. Mizuki opened her mouth, but - no matter how hard she tried, no matter how much that doubt had been buzzing around in her head for days now - no sound came out.

Did the captain ask about me?

No. She could never ask Hange something like that, even though she hadn't been able to focus on much else since the fever had subsided enough to return her mental faculties.

She hadn't seen the captain since the last day of the expedition - what everyone now referred to as the "Langnar Expedition" - and more specifically since… since what had happened between them in the village where they'd sought shelter from the rain. He hadn't visited her, not even while she was unconscious. The nurses, who had faithfully listed all her comrades who had come to her bedside, would have told her if he had. At first, Mizuki had tried to justify his complete disinterest by assuming that Levi had still gathered information about her condition from others; pride and caution, however, suggested she shouldn't inquire too much, lest she spark dangerous rumors that veered too close to the truth, an outcome she couldn't afford at the moment.

The only certainty she had was that he hadn't asked Lavinia anything. Mizuki had confided in her about the small incident outside the walls for two very specific reasons: first, because her friend would have noticed something was wrong as soon as Mizuki was discharged and resumed her regular military duties, so she had simply anticipated the discovery and confessed voluntarily; second, because she desperately needed to vent to someone, hoping it would help ease the grip tightening around her heart.

Needless to say, Lavinia had been furious about the captain's behavior, and only Mizuki's frantic pleas and the threat of a relapse, complete with a nervous breakdown, had stopped her from storming out of the infirmary to confront him on the spot. Instead, she'd let loose a string of insults, sitting on the bed next to Mizuki: that he was an asshole; that he had used her to satisfy his sexual appetite, treating her like a prostitute; that Mizuki should forget him and ignore him; or better yet, hire someone to beat the shit out of him and then forget about him; that she hoped his dick would rot and fall off, along with other equally colorful wishes. Mizuki pretended to listen to the tirades, which came at the rate of about two a day, in respectful silence, while her mind drifted away from Lavinia's angry chatter and back to the memory of that fiery kiss.

Kiss? Could she really call what had happened between them just a kiss?

Maybe "devour" was a more appropriate word to describe it.

As soon as Mizuki regained the ability to think complex thoughts, she spent an entire night evaluating the gravity of the situation, staring wide-eyed at the ceiling. After deep consideration, she was horrified to conclude that her position was truly dire.

Every time she relived those minutes of passion with the captain, a storm brewed within her. She had liked it. She had liked it a lot, and there was no denying it. Would she like to do it again? Absolutely. She often found herself staring at the ceiling, lost in dirty fantasies.

To pass the time and fill the void of her loneliness, she'd imagine an unannounced visit from the captain to the infirmary in the dead of night. Levi would enter, closing the door behind him, his eyes fixing on her in the dark as he licked his lips, as if preparing for a feast. That gesture would twist her insides and make her knees tremble. He would slip into bed with her, and then, the places on her body that the captain had touched in the abandoned village would awaken, pulsing, as though his hands had never left her, as if they had carved deep marks into her, marks only he could fill. She'd close her eyes and surrender to the pleasure those images brought her. Still, she never dared to let her hand slip between her legs, fearing that a nurse might walk in unexpectedly and catch her in the act, with Levi's name trapped between her teeth and tongue.

Yet, outside of the rare moments when her hormones took over, she bitterly regretted what had happened. It had been a mistake, a monumental and irreversible mistake. She had crossed a point of no return: her relationship with the captain would never be the same again; she had lost him forever, and she already missed him. She was certain they would never meet again on the rooftop the night before a scouting mission, they would never again search for each other's eyes in a crowd, and they would never again make up excuses to spend time alone.

His reaction had been all too clear: Levi had pulled away from their embrace with a gesture that bordered on disgust, already regretting what had happened, and it had shattered her heart. The experience had revealed a truth about herself that Mizuki had conveniently ignored until that moment: she was fragile, more fragile than she had thought. Over the past year, she had gone to great lengths to make up excuses and plausible justifications for not acting on her feelings toward Levi. She had lied to Lavinia, to Jackie, and to herself, claiming first that the captain didn't interest her romantically; then that maybe, yes, she had a slight crush on him, but casually, with no real intention of giving voice to the messy swirl of emotions weighing her down – and she had stuck to that plan, seeing as she hadn't spoken at all but had gone straight to action – due to her unique position as, hopefully, a temporary resident within the walls.

No, it was all wrong. Mizuki had told herself a pile of embarrassing lies.

The real reason she had kept away from any emotional entanglements was fear. Mizuki had been dominated and crushed by the terror of being rejected by the captain and ending up with a broken heart, which, in hindsight, is exactly what had happened.

From that perspective, her illness had been a blessing in disguise. Despite having been seriously ill, being bedridden had spared her the agony of running into the captain in the hallways right after the incident, and the unbearable task of pretending nothing had happened. A temporary and fleeting victory, which had already outlived its usefulness.

The following day, Dr. Michaelson would discharge her; she would walk out of the infirmary and re-enter the world where he lived.

How on earth would she face the captain?

What could she possibly say to him?

Could she really act like nothing had happened?

And even before that, would her heart – already squealing and writhing at the mere thought of him – be able to handle it?

Mizuki had every reason to doubt it.

Without noticing her subordinate's inner dilemma, Hange stood up from the chair and began pacing nervously around the room. "Now, however, we're in a bit of a tricky situation. Just like with Albert the First, Erwin has decided to keep Cikatiloni and Albert the Second at the former Headquarters. Amado and Moblit are there at the moment. When the experiments start, we'll need at least one more experienced soldier to lend a hand; you know, the two teams assigned to guard my little ones would feel safer if there were at least one more veteran with us! We won't be total novices like we were when dealing with Albert the First, but we're still talking about two giants who could do some serious damage. Personally, I'd like Levi to come. Erwin also thinks that would be ideal, but he needs Levi and his squad here for the recruits' training. The ones from the northern training camp arrive in March, and those from the south in June, and Levi is an excellent teacher. I understand that, and I see why he wants to keep him here. But the problem remains: who will come with us?" Hange dropped onto Mizuki's bed with a frustrated groan. "Anyone who's been with the Corps for a while and is considered strong and reliable by the others would do. Someone like Mike, Erwin, or you."

Caught by surprise, Mizuki quickly raised her head. "Me? Strong?"

"Of course, you are," Hange replied calmly, taking off her glasses and cleaning them with the hem of her shirt. "Don't you hear what the others say about you? Sure, they don't know you're a ninja, or about your eyes, but they see the results. You're a doctor, you take down giants one after the other, you're still alive after numerous expeditions, and on top of that, you're Levi's special pupil."

Levi's special pupil.

Mizuki felt herself sinking.

She had enjoyed, without even realizing it, the status of "Levi's special pupil," and now it was all over because of her stupidity. She could barely stand the thought of crossing paths with him in a corridor, let alone spending entire afternoons training together with the ODM gear or fighting side by side - in the exact same way, with the same ferocity, with which they had embraced each other, soaking wet from the rain, and…

No. She had to banish those memories from her mind. She had to focus on something else. She had to find a way to escape the imprint of Levi's hands and mouth left on her body.

"All of this makes people feel safe when you're around," Hange concluded pragmatically.

An idea suddenly struck Mizuki. Nervously fidgeting with the edge of the sheet, she took a deep breath, half-closed her eyes to steel herself, and murmured, "Hange..."

"Yes?"

"If... if I were to say I might be interested in coming to the former Headquarters with you, what would you think?" she blurted out, then quickly closed her eyes.

A long, drawn-out silence followed, so long that Mizuki feared she'd gone too far this time. Hesitantly, she cracked one eye open and peeked in Hange's direction.

The squad leader's excited face hovered barely a centimeter from Mizuki's own, and Hange's sweaty hands reached for hers in a burst of enthusiasm. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

"Um... yes?"

"FANTASTIC!" Hange raised her fists to the sky in triumph. "But are you really sure? I mean, you're the doctor! Won't they need you here at Headquarters?"

"Well, the winter flu wave has passed, and spring is coming... They won't need me to be here all the time. I'll just have to stop by after the expeditions to treat the more serious injuries. Otherwise, I think it'll be enough for me to come once every two weeks or in case of emergencies, and besides, the former Headquarters is only three hours away from Trost by horse."

Hange had leapt to her feet, overjoyed, and began gathering her belongings that were scattered around the room. "You have no idea how happy you've made me... it's the best gift you could have given me! Really! I'll go ask Erwin for authorization right now!"

Mizuki forced a smile. The offer to help babysit Hange's two giants was driven solely by her need to get away from Headquarters and escape living alongside Levi, not out of any genuine desire to assist the squad leader in her research. The guilt spread uncomfortably in her chest, but she ignored it.

"Well, I'm off... Oh, good morning, Petra!" Hange, who was trembling with excitement by the door, stepped aside to let Petra in. "As soon as I have an answer, I'll run back here, Mizuki, I promise!"

"Good morning, Hange. Hello, Mizuki." Petra watched indifferently as the squad leader dashed out of the room, forgetting to close the door behind her, clearly used to Hange's eccentric, near-mad behavior by now. She then approached the bed and settled into the chair previously occupied by Hange. She didn't even bother asking why Hange had rushed out like that; evidently, after the capture of the giants, such outbursts had become routine. "How are you feeling today?" she asked softly, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

Mizuki's stomach twisted unpleasantly. Petra's presence next to her made her feel like a weight sinking into murky, dark waters.

The embodiment of her greatest fear sat beside her, looking at her with tender concern.

By deciding to follow Hange and Albert the Second, Mizuki wasn't just running away from Levi; she was fleeing from Petra too. From her, and from the guilt that overwhelmed her every time Petra paid her daily visit, every time she affectionately asked how she was doing, every time she patiently shared the latest news from the Corps, no matter how trivial, just to distract her from the boredom.

Mizuki still hadn't dared to look her directly in the eyes. If she did, she was certain Petra would immediately realize the shameful betrayal she had been a victim of. The sensation of Levi's lips on hers, on her neck, on her jawline still burned, too vivid and powerful to not be readable on her face.

To Mizuki's surprise, avoiding Petra's gaze for entire hours had proven easier than expected; this was because her friend also seemed to be avoiding looking directly at her. Petra sat next to Mizuki's bed, head lowered, hands resting on her knees, poised and graceful, chatting lightheartedly about this and that. Amid the gossip about who was sleeping with whom and who had been dumped, occasionally, a note of melancholy and sadness crept into Petra's voice, something Mizuki couldn't help but notice.

She immediately had plunged into panic.

Did Petra know? Or at least, did she suspect something?

During their meetings, Mizuki had started to study Petra's every gesture, every change of expression, every slightest inflection in her voice, desperately searching for a sign that would confirm or deny her theory. In the end, however, she had to acknowledge its total and undeniable baselessness: the only two human beings aware of what had happened in that abandoned village were her and the captain, and both of them - she was sure of that bit - would take that secret to their graves, especially with Petra. Her friend's concern couldn't have anything to do with her; paranoia and guilt had played an equal part in convincing her otherwise.

Mizuki's relief was so overwhelming it almost brought her to tears. Immediately, she told herself that, as a friend, she should ask Petra what was troubling her and allow her to open up; but a part of her - driven by a groundless yet urgent intuition - suggested that asking questions in this particular context was not advisable at all.

Thus, Petra and Mizuki filled the long hours spent together with empty and insignificant topics, carefully avoiding meeting each other's gaze and pretending a serenity that neither of them truly felt.

"I'm feeling much better. Thank you, Petra," Mizuki said, turning her head toward the window as naturally as possible. "You know, Hange and I were just talking about Albert Second…"

"Who?"

"One of the new giants."

"Oh."

"We were discussing the possibility of me joining Moblit, Amado, and her to conduct the experiments." Mizuki placed her open hands on her lap; the rough wool fabric pricked her skin, but she paid it no mind. "I might leave Headquarters and Trost for a while."

She told herself she had just shared the news with Petra to make small talk.

A lie that didn't hold up for even a moment.

The truth was something else: she hoped that, between her and Hange, someone would let him know.

To send him a clear signal, to show him your good faith, that you regret what happened and are trying to find a way to help both of you forget that unfortunate incident, declared a determined and pragmatic voice in her head.

Because you hope that he will finally walk through that door and beg you not to leave, whispered another, quieter voice within her, but Mizuki decided to ignore it.

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"All clear, Mizuki. Your pathetic observations about Hange's experiments and how you've decided to move with her and the giant to the former Headquarters are very interesting, but that's not what I asked. What I asked is why you're here right now and not bent over the captain's desk."

Revealing to Jacqueline Tennison about the mishap with the captain was certainly a questionable and undoubtedly risky idea.

Mizuki was perfectly aware of this.

Jackie's reaction to the news would be vastly different from Lavinia's: she wouldn't just settle for throwing embarrassing sexual jokes her way, nor would she be content to insult Levi. If that were the only issue, Mizuki might have survived it. But no. Jackie would force her to face and reflect on the situation, offering advice that would likely be tempting and, because of that, extremely dangerous. She couldn't afford to have Jackie plant strange ideas in her head, not now that she had decided to leave, and Commander Erwin had given his approval to Hange's proposal.

She had to keep Jackie in the dark about the mess she had gotten herself into, no matter what.

It was a brilliant plan, except for the fact that it didn't account for her friend's stubbornness.

Hiding something from a Jacqueline Tennison who had sniffed out a scandal was simply impossible.

Since February of that year, Jackie had settled permanently in Trost to pursue what she claimed was the secret dream of her life: starting a business. When she had shared her intentions with Mizuki, she'd explained how she had always demonstrated a keen sense for business and highly developed interpersonal skills, all essential traits for becoming a successful merchant. She had invested, as initial capital, the money she had brought with her when she left her father's house and what she had earned working as a waitress. In the tavern in Orvud where she had worked, she had also forged business relationships and friendships with some merchants, who had opened doors for her in the trade world, leading her to Trost - much to Mizuki's delight - where, according to her, the market and commerce were thriving.

That day - like every Tuesday - Jackie had gone to visit her friend. At the entrance of the Headquarters, she had crossed paths with Captain Levi as he was leaving. She'd made one of her usual jokes about his supposed secret love for Mizuki, but unlike usual, the taunt was met with such an expression of annoyance, and more importantly, guilt, that it irreparably piqued her curiosity. Jacqueline found Mizuki sitting on the floor of her room, preparing for her departure; Lavinia, in a foul mood, watched her while shaking her head.

As soon as she stepped into the room, Jackie asked without preamble what the hell had happened between her and the captain.

"Why do you ask?" was Mizuki's response, stiff as a board.

"Because he just made the face of someone who's bitten into a lemon, the same one you have right now." Jacqueline narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Now I'm sure of it. Something's going on. Spill it!"

Of course, Mizuki didn't crack so easily, though she was impressed by Jackie's sharpness. At first, she denied it vehemently. Jackie then moved to threats: first, to go down to the captain and ask him directly, to which Mizuki shrugged and wished her good luck. Then, failing that, she threatened to wait for their bob-haired roommate and investigate through her.

Mizuki cursed.

She gave in. She had to give in. She couldn't risk dragging Petra into this.

She told her everything, from the kiss to the decision to join Hange. Jacqueline listened in religious silence, sitting on Petra's bed, nodding at the right moments, exclaiming in surprise or satisfaction at the spicier details, and muttering under her breath "what an asshole" or "idiot" when she heard about the captain's behavior. She listened to it all; then, without losing her natural poise, she elegantly crossed her legs, lifting the hem of her dress - simple, exquisite, and as daring as all her outfits - showing off her slender ankles, and asked, "I see. One clarification: why are you here and not bent over the captain's desk?"

Mizuki gaped for a moment and, gathering her courage, replied, "I'm packing for tomorrow's departure..." she said, and proceeded to repeat how important Hange's work was and how her support was crucial for the success of the experiments.

It was in response to this observation that Jacqueline remarked, lofty and impassive: "All clear, Mizuki. Your pathetic observations about Hange's experiments and how you've decided to move with her and the giant to the former Headquarters are very interesting, but that's not what I asked. What I asked is why you're here right now and not bent over the captain's desk."

Lavinia, seated at the desk, rolled her eyes in disgust, and Mizuki's cheeks, as she packed her few belongings, turned a deep shade of crimson. "I don't think he would..." she stammered.

"Oh, I think he'd like it quite a bit. And trust me, so would you..."

"Jacqueline!"

The woman raised a hand with an irritated gesture. "Don't play innocent! You two were about to copulate in titan territory, in the pouring rain, and you're scandalized by this?"

"We weren't about to..."

"You had your hand in his underwear, young lady, and if Hange hadn't shown up, he'd have shoved something a lot more inside yours. That's what happens when you repress such instincts to the point of stupidity: they come out at the least appropriate moments. Risk can be exciting, sure, but I'd say you two took it a bit too far," Jacqueline continued relentlessly, giving Mizuki no chance to breathe.

"I don't... I don't know how or why it happened, but…" Mizuki replied, kneeling on the floor next to her half-packed bag, hands limp at her sides, with the terrified look of a rabbit cornered by an unyielding hunter.

Lavinia watched the exchange with her arms crossed, enveloped in irritated, hostile silence.

"Yes, yes, of course. You don't know. How could you? If you want, I can explain it to you. Do you prefer the version about children growing under cabbages, or the one where they are brought by a stork?"

Unfortunately for Jackie, Mizuki was in no condition to appreciate the irony that dripped from her comments. "No, no, you're off track. It has nothing to do with children!" she said, as if she had seriously considered and then dismissed Jacqueline's suggestions. "And I also said something foolish. I actually know why it happened. It was the rain's fault."

Jacqueline rolled her eyes gracefully. "Oh, yes. Let's blame the weather, just like when old folks get rheumatism."

"I'm serious! Before that moment… it had never happened; there had always been great self-control on both sides. We knew the limits that shouldn't be crossed, and we respected them. But I had a high fever that day, and he… he's always strange, irritable… more unpredictable when it rains." Mizuki spoke rapidly, almost without breathing, as if a dam had broken, and the water of the thoughts and anxieties that tormented her had begun to pour out.

"Okay, let's admit that it was the rain that made him excited. So? Whatever the trigger was, the terms of the matter don't change: it will happen again soon; it's inevitable. Once you've had a taste of the person you like, there's no going back," Jacqueline declared, with an air of expertise.

"It won't happen again, Jackie. It can't… it mustn't happen again."

Jacqueline made a grimace and began to examine one of her nails with indifference. "Oh, so your plan is to hide away with Hange and the giant far from Trost and from him and pretend nothing happened?"

Mizuki opened her mouth to respond, but Jacqueline didn't give her any space to intervene again.

"So, the next time you'll end up rubbing each other on the back of a giant? Let's try to be serious, please."

The girl raised her hands to cover her face, exasperated. "Please, have mercy…"

Jackie's tone softened. As much as she enjoyed teasing her friend, who was essentially a bit simple-minded, she decided she had lightened the atmosphere enough. She understood Mizuki's discomfort after the little incident that had occurred and Levi's reaction, and she understood even better the impulse to run away. She therefore prepared to become serious and offer her some concrete advice, but she couldn't resist the temptation of one last jab. "Look, Mizuki, I'm not telling you to marry him…"

"Good heavens," Lavinia muttered, finally interjecting in the discussion.

"…because I'm your friend, and I would never let you marry someone with a character like that. All I advise is to take a little ride on him and indulge yourself."

At the sudden reappearance of the colorful expression Jackie often used, which continued to embarrass her even after all this time, Mizuki's eyes widened. "Take a… little ride on him?"

"Exactly. Up, down, from behind. I don't know what your tastes are, nor his, but that doesn't matter."

Mizuki turned to Lavinia, clearly on the verge of a nervous breakdown. "Lav…"

Unfortunately for her, she found no support from her friend, who stubbornly turned her head away. "Don't look at me like that. Generally speaking, I agree with her. Above all, I'd prefer if you two avoided your… fornications in dangerous places."

That was the last straw for poor Mizuki. She sprang to her feet, opening and closing her mouth like a fish caught on a hook, gesticulating, and finally stepped closer to the desk. "LAV! I don't want to… I didn't mean to… fornicate…"

"This conversation gets more entertaining with every passing second…" Jacqueline snickered; to enjoy the spectacle better, she stretched her legs and languidly rested her chin on her palm.

"Especially," Lavinia continued dryly, "I don't see why you should be the one to leave. Can't he remove himself from the picture? No one would miss him."

Ouch, ouch. Now we come to the sore point, thought Jacqueline.

Mizuki shrugged. "Well, something like the fact that he's humanity's strongest soldier and the commander's right-hand man is enough motivation, isn't it?"

"Yes, but he can continue to be the strongest soldier and the commander's right-hand man even at the ex-Headquarters. You both made a mess; rather, he has much more responsibility than you, seeing as he's a superior."

"I'm the one disturbed by the possibility of running into him in the hallways, though, not him," Mizuki observed, and her voice distinctly echoed with a hint of bitterness.

She had first encountered him on the very day of her discharge. After a quick stop in her room, Mizuki went down to the mess hall for dinner with Lavinia; turning a corner in the hallway, the trio of Hange, Erwin, and Levi stood before the two girls. Mizuki's stomach did a somersault, and a cold sweat beaded on her forehead. The captain was leaning against the wall, arms crossed; when Lavinia and Mizuki appeared, he barely turned his head, directing his gaze at an unspecified point behind them and didn't divert it for the entire duration of the conversation.

"Mizuki!" Hange bounded over to her and slung an arm around her shoulders, infusing the gesture with too much impetus to be directed at someone just recovering. Mizuki staggered, though not because of the squad leader's charge. "Erwin said yes! Do you understand?! You'll come with us! With me, Cikatiloni, and Albert the Second! Isn't that amazing?!"

Erwin confirmed Hange's excited words with a smile. "I'm grateful you offered, Mizuki. You really saved us."

The girl waited for the third member of the trio to weigh in on the topic, but Levi stubbornly remained silent. One, two, three seconds; and the crack in her heart widened into a deep fissure. She believed the worst-case scenario would be getting anger, hate, disgust, or a cold attitude from him; but this… the fact that he acted as if she didn't exist, with an absolute and icy indifference, hurt her more than any insult she had ever received. Unable to articulate a word, with a dry throat and a twisted tongue, Mizuki nodded in response to Erwin.

"If you feel up to it, we can leave the day after tomorrow!" Hange burst out, brimming with excitement. "I can't wait to…"

"Maybe it's better to wait three days," Erwin interrupted. "Mizuki, are you sure you're feeling well? You look really pale."

"I'm perfectly fine!" she hastily exclaimed. "Let's leave the day after tomorrow!"

"Mizuki, what enthusiasm! It really seems like you can't wait to work with Albert the Second!" Hange let out a triumphant laugh and pointed a challenging finger at Levi. "Try not to take it too personally that your pupil prefers to come with me and the two giants to your training, shorty!"

Mizuki felt an overwhelming urge to stuff Hange's glasses into her mouth to silence her.

Levi's response was delayed; but when he finally spoke, Mizuki bitterly regretted the previous silence. "Everyone does what they have to do. Someone needs to keep an eye on you; that poor Moblit can't do it all by himself," Levi said coldly, still staring impassively at a point behind Mizuki and Lavinia. He then turned to walk away and added, "Of course, training is over."

Over, not suspended. Pretending that she didn't exist, not despising her or being angry with her.

For Mizuki, suffering ceased to be just a word, a metaphysical concept, and took on a physical form: it was the image of Levi turning his back on her; the sound of his cutting sentences; the trajectory of his gaze that carefully avoided her.

Beside her, Lavinia trembled with rage and seemed on the verge of jumping up and running after him to physically assault him. The thought of avoiding a scene at all costs kept Mizuki grounded; though her heart was heavy, she reached out and placed a hand on her friend's trembling arm to calm her.

Lavinia didn't attack the captain, but as soon as they were alone, she insulted him with unimaginable epithets and wished him the worst misfortunes.

Mizuki listened to her halfway; dazed, hurt, she replayed the conversation in her head, savoring every word, especially dwelling on the captain's blunt phrases - like a sharp blow that shatters glass with a deafening crack, like thunder striking a tree and igniting it - and in them, she found full confirmation of the sensibility of her own decision.

She had to leave. As soon as possible.

She couldn't bear the thought of reliving moments like that, of facing Levi without him even looking at her. She was capable of facing a titan with a cold heart, of slicing off limbs, of enduring pain at the edge of human limits; but not that.

Mizuki understood Lavinia's point of view and, in many ways, shared it. The passionate impulse that had driven them into each other's arms had not been one-sided: they both wanted it, and as accomplices, they would have to pay the consequences. All correct, on paper; but in practice, Mizuki was clearly suffering from the embarrassing situation much more than he was. She was running away for herself, not to do him a favor; to protect herself and regain control over her wounded heart that was split in two.

"It's me who has trouble seeing him," Mizuki concluded bitterly; she crouched down on the floor again, as if emptied of all strength, but didn't resume shoving clothes and books haphazardly into her backpack.

Lavinia pressed her lips together, hissed a few irritated and incomprehensible words, and turned her back on her friend.

After she finished snickering at Lavinia's accusation of "fornications" and Mizuki's impassioned defense of her own purity, Jacqueline composed herself: she swept her long blonde hair behind her shoulders and adopted a serious tone. "Listen to me, Mizuki. Putting aside the sordid aspects of the matter, which are indeed of considerable interest, this is my opinion on the issue." The woman cleared her throat and locked her hazel eyes onto Mizuki's, who was gazing back at her anxiously, aware he was about to receive that excellent and very sensible advice that she would have gladly done without. "I believe that he likes you so much that it drives him crazy. It's true, I know it; and I've told you from the very beginning that I thought so. I sensed it the first time I saw you together, at my place. You were on opposite sides of the room, talking to different people, and it seemed like you were ignoring each other; yet neither of you took their eyes off the other for even a second. There was something between you… I couldn't even describe it, nor I know if it can it be defined in words. A connection… a bond that unites you. Something you can't escape or fight against. It's there: I know it, you know it, he knows it."

Mizuki lowered her head, speechless. Jacqueline, choosing her words carefully, had just perfectly expressed what she had been feeling for a long time, almost since her first encounter with Levi when they had found themselves by chance in a dark room at the ex-Headquarters; a feeling that had developed, grown, and deepened over time, and whose destructive and unstoppable power she had begun to realize exactly in Stohess.

"Given this, it seems evident that there's something holding him back from fully embracing this bond, even though the damage has been done; some personal problem that has nothing to do with you." Jackie raised a hand, authoritative, to stop Mizuki from interrupting. "The reason doesn't matter. Whether it's because of his position in the army; whether it's due to a trauma from his past; whether it's because of his character, insecurities, or personal fears; whether it's for other reasons we don't know… it doesn't matter in the slightest."

Mizuki swallowed; Lavinia had turned back around and was listening attentively to the monologue. Jackie didn't know, of course, that the two of them - along with Loki and Amado - came from a different world, situated somewhere outside the walls, and that perhaps that insignificant detail had played a crucial role in the captain's decision to pull away.

"It doesn't matter what the reason is," Jacqueline repeated again, in a pragmatic and unyielding tone. "What's important is that he's stuck, so if you want to solve the situation, you need to take the reins yourself. Go to him and face him head-on… metaphorically speaking, of course; I don't want you to die; after all, we are talking about humanity's strongest soldier. Although personally, I believe that, given his behavior, you would have the right to at least slap him and expect him to take it passively and without the chance to react." Jacqueline stood up with a sinuous movement of her legs; she approached Mizuki and, bending down beside her, placed a hand on her arm and rubbed it gently, as if to physically infuse her with the warmth of her support. "I know it's scary. I know, believe me. Exposing yourself and opening your heart to those we love is frightening. You've exposed yourself out there, and he's acted like an asshole. It's understandable that you feel the urge to flee to a safe place to lick your wounds. But if he's stuck and you run away, the situation risks getting bogged down…"

"Maybe it's better that way…" Mizuki murmured, her head down. She tried with all her might to sound convincing, but even she didn't believe that wish. "Maybe that's how it's meant to go."

"Whether it's better, I don't know. What I know for sure is that it won't go that way." Jacqueline grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to turn towards her. "That bond you have… I told you, it's not something you can escape. Even if you fled to the other side of the world, it wouldn't change anything: you'll always be connected. It will happen again… you both will make sure it happens again." Her very light, pale blue eyes fixed on Mizuki with seriousness; her elegant hands, with thin fingers and perfectly manicured nails, applied gentle pressure on her shoulders. Jacqueline was trying to transmit vigor and calmness to her, to convince her not to give up, to make her feel that she wouldn't face that battle alone, that she would be there to rejoice in victory or to pick up the pieces of her broken heart. "Don't run away, Mizuki. Go to him and take him. I know that's what you want."

Of course, that was what she wanted. What nonsense.

She would have given anything to rewind the thread of time and prevent that kiss - no, that passionate devouring - from happening, so she wouldn't lose the captain.

She would have given anything to find herself once again in his muscular arms, wrapped in his scent, surrounded by a warmth that made her feel protected.

But now it was too late for both.

The fateful kiss had occurred; the captain had regretted it and had pushed her away, and she and her broken heart didn't have the strength needed to face him.

Gently, Mizuki shook off Jacqueline's hands and resumed stuffing the folded shirts into her backpack. "Hange really needs me…" she said, not daring to lift her gaze towards her friend.

Jackie raised her eyebrows, shook her head, and sighed. Morosely, she returned to sit on the bed and assumed a carefree, light attitude again. "Yes, Hange and Albert the Second."

Relieved by the change in the tone of the conversation, Mizuki replied, "Look, I'm serious. You don't know Hange well, but Albert the Second might really need to be protected from her."

"I've heard her talk on a couple of occasions about the Titans for much longer than I could tolerate, so I can imagine." With a playful gesture, Jackie adjusted the neckline of her blouse to better highlight her ample bosom, and she gave Mizuki a smug smile. "Listen, you can do as you please. You can stand as the champion of Titans' justice, but mark my words, young lady: this story won't end here. I'm looking forward to hearing about the next time you and our captain leap at each other."

.

OOO

.

Levi was seated at his desk, working without taking his eyes off the paper; with neat, precise handwriting, he carefully noted down figures and annotations, aligning words and paying attention not to smudge anything. The only sound in the room was the pen smoothly gliding over the paper.

Work had always had a calming effect on him. It allowed him to shut everything else out, even if only for brief but precious moments.

God knew how much he needed that in his current situation.

He wasn't hungry. He wasn't thirsty. Except for her.

He couldn't think of anything else. Except of her.

He didn't listen to anyone. Except when her name came up in some conversation.

He wasn't sleeping anymore. On the rare occasions when he did drift off, he dreamed of her.

When he let his guard down for even a moment, his mind would race back to that abandoned, dusty living room, the rotten wooden wall, her small yet alluring body. She would appear before him, soaked with rain, her hair disheveled – falling over her shoulders in wavy curls after he had untied it on a whim, because he loved how it framed her face – and her full lips, flushed with desire; she would speak to him in a low voice, in a language he didn't know, and yet Levi could understand the rather explicit nature of her requests.

Fuck me. I need you inside me right now, shove it all the way in, don't waste time undressing me. I want to feel you inside me, I want to feel how much you want me. How long is it? How much do you want me? Make me feel how big you are. Put it all inside. I'm already soaking wet, can you feel it? It took so little to get me this wet. I want you. Come on, do it. Oh! Oh, fuck. It's huge. It's perfect. Fuck me, Levi. Yes, yes. Like that. Harder. Harder! Like that… yes, yes. Levi!

The clock on the wall struck five in the afternoon.

Levi snapped out of it.

It was the day of Hange and the brat's departure.

As if he had been waiting for nothing else, the captain glanced at the clock, set his pen down, and stood up.

To file his report, he needed to ask Mike a certain question.

That was the alibi he built and told himself as he headed down the hallway.

.

Levi's primary feeling about the mess with the brat had been only one: regret, though the object of his remorse had changed several times over the hours following the incident. In quick succession, Levi had regretted a multitude of actions and omissions, some of which directly contradicted each other.

When Hange's voice had echoed through the village streets, the captain had temporarily regained his senses and recoiled from Mizuki, stunned and unable to come to terms with reality. He had abandoned the brat, furious – with himself, with her, with Hange, with the Titans, with the rain, and even with Erwin for sending her his way – and had mounted his horse with the face of a man who had just learned he had one day left to live.

He regretted being such an asshole almost immediately. It only took one cautious glance from the saddle – a glance that should have encompassed the brat's whole figure but instead focused on her red lips, which had only moments ago been pressed against his – for Levi to lose his reason again, and for his mind to be flooded with sensual visions of what he would have done if Hange hadn't interrupted.

On the way back and during the meeting with Erwin and the other captains, Levi couldn't focus on anything but the idea of picking up the assault exactly where it had left off. He'd wait for the brat to tend to the wounded as usual, waiting for her outside the infirmary, then he'd bring her with him to his room; forcibly, if necessary, since it didn't seem like the time to be subtle anymore. He'd lock the door. He'd push her towards the bed, or the desk, or the wall, or the floor… He savored what would come next; the inevitable, the necessary, the peace of body and mind that would follow.

He didn't give a damn about the heated discussion going on, centered on the extraordinary discovery of Isle Langnar's body and diary, during which an impassioned Hange nearly jumped onto the table. When asked, Levi repeated his version of the story without adding any unnecessary details and concisely answered the questions posed to him; then he stopped listening to the excited voices of his comrades and retreated once again into the realm of his imagination.

Towards the end of the meeting, word came that Mizuki had collapsed from a high fever. Levi was worried, of course; he had suspected that the brat wasn't in the best shape since the evening before the scouting. However, the incident, far from diverting him from his plan, only served to delay, in his mind, the execution of the script he had written in his head for the moment she recovered.

What he never regretted, in that moment, was the event itself. It had been a long time - years, probably - since he had felt as alive as when he had kissed her.

He didn't regret giving in to his instincts and, before that, to the indefinable feeling he had for the brat; he didn't feel remorse for unleashing his desire with no regard for her inexperience, attacking her, devouring her, cornering her - at least until she had fought back, turning the tables - driven by the urgency to make her his own.

Yes, he admitted bluntly: he would have taken her virginity right there, on the filthy, foul-smelling floor, without even fully undressing her, without the slightest remorse, so much did he want her.

That disregard for military rules and the limits he had set for himself was completely unlike him; but after the battle with the titans in the rain, after the overlapping of Mizuki with Isabel, after experiencing - even if only in his mind - the unpleasant vision of the brat being devoured, after holding her body, after her hands slipped so naturally into his pants, he categorically refused to submit even a moment longer to any absurdity that forced him to stay away from her.

The turning point came after the meeting ended, when Levi returned to his room. He had just taken off his jacket, hanging it carefully on a hook near the door, when someone knocked timidly.

Upon receiving permission to enter, Petra slipped inside, her gaze fixed on the floor.

"Petra," Levi noted, perhaps with a tone harsher than he intended. He looked her up and down, surprised by her presence. Petra always brought him tea after dinner, but not on the nights they had just returned from an expedition; besides, she didn't have the usual tray with the teapot and two cups with her. "What is it?"

Levi was a man with sharp reflexes, always aware of his surroundings, but that evening his mind was elsewhere, and he almost forgot about Petra's presence until she suddenly threw herself into his arms, muttering, "Let me stay here tonight, Captain. Please! I…" Petra hesitated; then, burying her face into the crook of his shoulder, she continued with passion, "I'm madly in love with you! I can't stand loving you from afar and in silence anymore!"

Levi stiffened. Not because of the slender arms of his subordinate wrapping around him or because her breasts were pressed against his chest, but because of the all-too-vivid memory - of other arms, of another chest much smaller than Petra's - that stirred his still-overstimulated body.

He could think of only one logical explanation for this sudden outburst: Petra knew what had happened, and she was throwing herself at him before it was too late for her. But how? Mizuki and Petra had never ridden side by side on the last stretch toward the walls; his subordinate had stayed beside Levi the whole way. It was highly unlikely they had had a chance to speak alone once they reached Trost, given the usual chaos among soldiers returning from an expedition. Not to mention that Mizuki wanted to keep the incident as secret as he did, especially from Petra…

And suddenly, the weight of what he had done crashed down on him; the object of his regret shifted once again, finally moving in the right direction.

For hours, he had been mentally referring to the afternoon with neutral expressions like "what had happened" or "the incident."

But what had happened? What was the incident?

That he had pounced on her like a beast in heat. An action that utterly and irrefutably contradicted both common sense and decency. That's all. Nothing more, nothing less. He could sugarcoat the event all he wanted, but in essence, saying he had pounced on her like a beast was a fairly truthful and accurate summary.

First of all, how could he have acted that way with a girl as inexperienced as her? Over the past year, he had often reminded himself that he would never give in to temptation. But, in the highly remote - and greatly hoped for - scenario in which pleasant sexual interludes had occurred between them, Levi had set himself the goal of taking it slow, however difficult that might prove. He had planned to go easy, to give the brat time and space to get used to the new experience, adjusting to her pace.

Yes, taking it slow, what a load of bullshit. He had done the exact opposite.

To his credit, at first, he had really tried not to rush the kiss or the situation; but then she had nibbled on his lower lip, and all self-control vanished in a nebulous haze where the only things with any real substance were the mouth he had invaded, the breast he had toyed with, and the ass he had grabbed.

Fuck, the feel of that ass. He had been on the verge of coming just from touching it.

Things had spiraled out of control when she - her face filled with pure curiosity and boldness, preceded by a glimmer of awareness that had sent chills down his spine - had slipped a hand into his pants.

The memory stirred him, and he became hard in less than an instant.

Yes, he had pounced on her like a beast, but the brat had encouraged him plenty, he at least granted himself that as an excuse.

However, what he found even more deplorable and what he couldn't forgive himself for wasn't that he had nearly fucked her with the eagerness of a horny fifteen-year-old, taking her virginity on a filthy floor; but that he had crossed a line with her that he had sworn he would never cross.

Because Levi could give her the temporary warmth of a body, steal hers and devour her soul, but he could never give her all of himself, dedicate his heart to her as she deserved, make her happy.

He neither wanted nor could content himself with simply possessing her body from time to time - no matter how incredibly pleasurable it was. He wanted her to laugh. He wanted her eyes to keep shining. He wanted her to look at the sky with her head tilted back and see traces of her future in the clouds. But at the same time, a much more selfish and petty desire had driven him in the rain and continued to drive him now: for as wrong and cruel as it was, he wanted to make her his, he wanted to feel alive again like when he had held her, and he knew that his instincts would prevail when he saw her in front of him again.

Petra mistook Levi's stunned silence for hesitation and clung to his shirt. "Please, don't send me away… please. While I was waiting outside for your return, I was careful, I'm sure no one saw me… I won't tell anyone, it will stay between us. Please… I don't care if you don't feel the same… Even if your heart belongs to her, I don't care…"

Her…

She didn't even say her name, and that was the right choice.

Saying and hearing her name in that moment would have been unbearable for both of them.

Even though she wasn't there, even though she was lost in fevered sleep, Mizuki stood between them, like a thin and almost imperceptible fog.

Levi was a man of principle. Due to the particular circumstances of his life, he had always adhered to a few essential rules: never take advantage of anyone - especially a woman; handle his own problems - which included managing his lower body; and, above all, always do the right thing.

But doing the right thing wasn't always easy.

Humanity's strongest soldier found himself struggling once again, torn between two conflicting needs pulling him in opposite directions.

On the one hand, his convictions, developed over a lifetime and always followed with the utmost care: respect for his subordinates and, most importantly, the unshakable will not to exploit the feelings of a girl who admired him, confusing duty with desire, just to empty his balls.

On the other hand, he could still feel her on himself. Her scent, her kisses, the way her hair brushed his neck, her body pressed against his, and it was literally driving him mad. He needed to be free of it. And soon. Or he would end up rushing to the infirmary, kneeling beside her bed, sinking back into the soft warmth of her presence.

For a while, regret or not, he wouldn't be able to control himself. If he found himself facing her again, he would finish what he had started.

He had an overwhelming need to release the sexual tension that had been building for months and had exploded under the rain.

And Petra was clinging to him stubbornly, her soft chest rising and falling gently, her delicate hair tickling his nose…

The right thing to do would have been to gently free himself from her embrace and turn her down with kind, respectful words.

The convenient thing to do would have been to wrap his arms around her and satisfy her resigned plea. To take her. To pour the weight of his desire on her. Maybe even close his eyes and pretend that instead of Petra, it was her.

He wouldn't even have to try too hard. Despite the iron discipline he imposed on himself, he was still human, a man, susceptible like anyone else to a woman's charms. Petra was a beautiful girl, intelligent, sensitive, capable, and resourceful, who shared Levi's dreams and those of their comrades. He was attracted to her; he couldn't deny it. With her, it would have been easy. Petra knew and accepted Levi's limitations, the chains that bound him. She had long since resigned herself to the fact that she could never fully have him and was content with the little he was able to give her. Sure, she would suffer because of it; she was already suffering. And as much as it would hurt him to wound her, Levi knew he could come to terms with that.

With Mizuki, it was all different. She unsettled him. Forcing her way into his life, she had turned everything upside down, his routines, his habits, the walls he had built between himself and others. Mizuki had her own way of seeing and feeling things, and her closeness forced him to adopt the same perspective, to broaden his horizons, to see and feel the world differently. She overflowed with hope, believed in the future and in others, and when she was near, Levi and his natural grimness were swept away by her overwhelming, positive energy. Mizuki wasn't just beautiful; she made everything around her beautiful too. More than once, he had found himself amazed, thinking that even if nothing changed - even if they didn't wipe out the Titans or discover the truth, the goal for which so many of his comrades had died - he would still be able to consider this mad, rotten world an acceptable place, simply because she lived in it.

Because this was the world where she existed. The world where they had met.

Even if that quiet acceptance of reality clashed with every value he had ever believed in.

Losing himself in Petra, and forgetting her…

Forgetting everything. Even if only for the brief, fleeting duration of an embrace, to free himself.

Sometimes, doing the right thing was hard.

That night, Levi managed to do it only with considerable effort.

He ordered his body to take his subordinate by the shoulders and gently pull her away from him.

He didn't do it for Petra's sake. Only later did he realize that it was the most respectful course of action toward her; but in the moment, he hadn't done it to protect her.

No.

He was guided, once again, by the thought of Mizuki. If she ever found out he had slept with Petra- and, even worse, if she sensed he had done it to forget her - she would never want anything to do with him again. He had decided to let her go; but he couldn't bear the thought of her contempt.

He pushed Petra away. Her face twisted in a pained grimace, and her eyes filled with tears. "Go back to your room. It's late," Levi said, turning his back on her. It would have been worse for her if the person who had just rejected her had stayed to witness her tears. He settled at his desk and kept his eyes fixed on the tabletop until he heard the lock click, the door open and close with a thud, and Petra's hurried footsteps retreating down the hallway.

Immediately after, Levi stepped into the shower, setting the temperature to the coldest possible.

A blast of ice-cold water hit him, but it did nothing to subdue his erection or stop his mind from wandering.

Mizuki appeared before him in her uniform, leaning against the shower wall, seemingly unaffected by the freezing cascade of water that rushed around her.

She smiled, mysterious and self-satisfied. Without hesitation, she reached out a hand, just as she had done only a few hours earlier, wrapping her fingers around Levi's swollen, erect penis.

Her fingers were cold, as they had been that afternoon, but Levi didn't mind.

The mere thought that she was touching him there was enough to bring him dangerously close to orgasm.

"Damn, Captain," Mizuki remarked with a smug grin. "It's really big. Do I have this effect on you even though I'm still dressed?"

Levi grunted in response, waiting for the girl to start stroking him.

Unexpectedly, though, she pulled her hand back and crossed her arms over her chest. "No, I don't feel like making you come," she told him in a mockingly bored tone. "I have a better idea. I want to watch you touch yourself while thinking of me."

He would never have done it - had never done it - with anyone else in the world.

The idea of someone watching him pleasure himself disgusted him, made him feel filthy and depraved, perhaps due to his mother's past.

But in front of her - in front of the mental image of a lustful Mizuki - Levi began to masturbate, locking eyes with her.

He would do anything she asked of him, anything to please her.

"Good, just like that," Mizuki whispered, her eyes gleaming, in that soft tone he had sometimes heard her use with her horse. "I know you do it all the times."

Yes, he did it often; to be completely honest, always. She was right. He would start by telling himself not to think of any particular woman, but - predictably - his mind would always end up on her, on how she had accidentally brushed against him as she passed by, on the knowing look she had given him from across a crowded room, on the scent he caught when he leaned towards her more than was appropriate.

He knew this time the experience would be more vivid, more intense, more tantalizing.

He masturbated, thinking about that afternoon.

About their long, frustrating kiss.

About the cautious yet liberating exploration of each other's bodies.

About the pyramid-shaped breast that fit perfectly in one hand, the innocent yet hardened nipple, straining with desire.

About the round, firm ass, as satisfying to touch as it were to look at.

About the low, raspy moans that had escaped her, the way she'd thrown her head back with half-closed eyes when Levi rubbed against her.

About the flash of triumph and satisfaction that had lit up her gaze - the same look she wore now as she watched him masturbate to satisfy her and thinking of her - when she had finally realized that she had him in the palm of her hand.

His hand moved faster and faster, the pleasure building, growing, swelling, until it reached a peak that made him cry out, a peak he had never reached before, not even during the most memorable fucks.

He had never experienced pleasure like that in his life.

He frowned. He had done it all by himself, fantasizing about someone who wasn't even in the room. What would happen if they ever made love?

Levi slumped against the wall, panting. Had he really just used the phrase "made love"?

"I'm screwed," he muttered, clicking his tongue. "Damn brat."

That evening, he stayed under the freezing shower for a long time.

.

Even after Petra's attempt at seduction and Levi's near surrender, the situation between them never became unmanageable. Both of them felt awkward in each other's presence in the days immediately following the rejection; but in the end, prevailed in Petra the genuine admiration for him and her determination to keep working in his squad prevailed, and in Levi, who felt guilty despite not having done anything inappropriate except in his own mind, the disinterested affection he held for her, just as he did for every soldier under his command.

With Mizuki, of course, everything went in the opposite direction.

As long as she remained bedridden, Levi managed to cope somehow.

He thought about her constantly in those first few days. It was as if a massive crater had been carved into his brain, sucking in all of his attention and energy, with the image of her in the rain sitting at the center, placed upon a throne of thorns.

Every evening, after visiting hours had ended, Levi made a point to pass by the infirmary door a couple of times. It was the only indulgence he granted to his feelings. He never went inside, just slowed his pace, straining to catch snippets of conversation or the sound of someone breathing in sleep. Though he never set foot in the sickroom, he didn't need to ask around about her condition. At every meal, Hange provided a detailed report on Mizuki to all the veterans, who in turn relayed the news to their subordinates, who often asked of her.

On the day Mizuki was discharged, while Levi was gathering the strength to dodge her like the formation dodged the Titans, zigzagging back and forth through Headquarters, he encountered Erwin and Hange in the corridor. As soon as she spotted him, four-eyes grabbed him by the forearm. "Hey, shorty! I have great news for you!" she shouted in his ear, excited as she had been since the discovery of Isle Lagnar's body. "Mizuki is leaving you!"

Did she know? Did she know what had happened between them? Had she perhaps seen them? But how, when?

"Erwin gave his approval, so it's a done deal!"

Done what?

"What Hange means is…" the commander started to say, but was abruptly interrupted by the woman, who suddenly released Levi and yelled at the top of her lungs: "Mizuki!"

Levi flinched.

The girl and her companion had just turned the corner of the hallway.

It took him just one glance to ascertain that her physical condition was quite precarious. After two weeks of high fever and fasting, Mizuki had become thinner than she already was; the weight loss gave her a frail, weakened appearance: her large amber eyes were sunken and surrounded by dark circles; her skin was pale and taut over her cheekbones; her lifeless hair tangled messily around her temples; her pink tongue moistened the cracked lips in several places, but that - her chapped lips - was perhaps a distinguishing mark of hers.

The chapped skin had tickled him when they kissed, and…

No, this wasn't right.

The captain quickly averted his gaze, fixing it on a window behind Lavinia and Mizuki.

If he looked at her for just one moment longer, he would lose control. Convalescent or not, even under the eyes of Hange, Erwin, and Lavinia, he would have dragged her into the first free room and pounced on her like an animal, again. And he had good reason to believe she wouldn't resist; quite the opposite.

The conversation continued mainly thanks to Hange, since the other four soldiers, for one reason or another, all seemed reluctant to engage in chatter.

Thanks to her, Levi learned of Mizuki's imminent departure; a discovery that both pleased him and plunged him into a premature sadness, which he did not dare to name or investigate further.

"Try not to take it too personally that your pupil prefers to come with me and the two giants to your training sessions, shorty!" Hange was saying, with the amused and exuberant air she always assumed when teasing him.

This was his golden opportunity to deliver the final blow: if he acted enough like an asshole, he would prevent any attempts at clarification or closeness from the brat. He couldn't let this chance slip away. As he had trained himself to do since childhood, he swallowed every feeling except for his sense of duty, buried deep in his heart like a cold, fatal blade. "Everyone does what they have to do. Someone needs to keep an eye on you; that poor guy Moblit can't do it all by himself," he replied coldly, still staring at a point behind Mizuki and Lavinia; he turned on his heel and walked away briskly, launching into a retreat that resembled an undignified escape.

But he still wasn't completely satisfied with the outcome; he still felt he had left her - and especially himself - something to convince herself that it wasn't really over. One more blow, he imposed; one more blow, and he would be definitively safe. He could return to his old self, to the self he was before their meeting, to the self who spent sleepless nights without brooding over anything, who fought for a collective cause rather than for the happiness of an individual, who did not regret the choice to become a soldier and offer his heart, who did not suffer from the emptiness that rotted his soul, who masturbated and had sex without any emotional implications.

"Of course, training is over."

There it was, the final blow, the one that would free him, the one that would restore his old self.

Humanity's strongest soldier fled, as fast as when he dashed through the giant trees in enemy territory.

He didn't have the courage to turn around and contemplate the expression on the face of his special pupil.

The expression of someone who has just felt their heart break in their chest.

.

On his way to Mike's office, Levi climbed a flight of stairs and, as an afterthought, approached the first window in the hallway. He glanced at the main entrance of the headquarters, which faced the street, and saw an open cart loaded with crates, around which two recruits were bustling about, loading the last of the luggage.

Next to the cart, Hange and Mizuki were saying goodbye to those who had come to see them off. There were quite a few people there, apart from the comrades they regularly hung out with. It was no surprise that such a large crowd had gathered; Mizuki was quite popular in the Corps, even though most soldiers didn't see her as a woman but rather as some kind of mascot that was impossible not to love.

A breeze heralding the impending spring lifted the long, curly hair of the brat, which shimmered a molten caramel hue under the pale sun. She looked healthier than on the day of her discharge. She chatted incessantly, exchanging greetings and jokes with those around her, laughing all the while. She offered kind or playful words to everyone; it was one of her characteristic traits - perhaps the most remarkable and charming - that she never forgot about anyone.

Leaning against the wall of a corridor on the third floor, Levi watched her safely from a distance, protected by the glass and the light behind him, repeating to himself that his presence in that place, at that window, coinciding with Hange and Mizuki's departure, was entirely coincidental.

Light footsteps along the corridor announced Lavinia's arrival. She eyed him without making any effort to hide her resentment. "You must be pleased now," she began, sharp-tongued.

She didn't specify what she was referring to, but it wasn't necessary. Levi understood.

To avoid a scuffle, he decided not to respond to her provocation. Without taking his eyes off the cart - Hange and the brat had now climbed onto it - he instead asked, "Aren't you going to say goodbye to your pal?"

"I already did," Lavinia replied tersely. "Besides, I can visit her whenever I want. She doesn't dislike me."

Levi clicked his tongue. Lavinia studied him for a moment longer, her arms crossed over her chest and a rather ostentatious air of defiance about her, then she walked past him without saying anything more.

At that moment, the cart began to move with a crack of the reins.

Levi's gaze followed it until it disappeared around the corner.

Suddenly, the atmosphere in the headquarters grew darker and quieter.

A chill that he hadn't felt in a long time settled over him.

Even then, however, Levi did not question it.

His old self, the self before her, accustomed to living like a dead man, knew that chill well and had not forgotten it. Now it was just a matter of getting used again to the emptiness that she and her laughter had illusorily erased.

Levi pushed himself off the wall and continued toward Mike's office.

.

OOO

.

May 850

.

Moving with precise, practiced gestures, Levi lifted the lid of the cast iron kettle, submerging the tea infuser packed with dark-colored, dried tea leaves into the boiling water, from which dense steam rose. He closed it carefully, placed both hands on the stovetop, and sighed.

While he waited for the liquid to reach the perfect shade of gold, he attempted, with little success, to clear the remnants of a dream that still lingered, vivid and unsettling, in his mind; the more he tried to dispel it, the more the memories assaulted him, relentless and dangerous, almost as if an unseen hand were directing them with the sole purpose of giving him a new erection.

What an infernal dream it had been. So realistic that upon waking, he almost doubted whether it was a vision or a memory.

He half-closed his eyes, trying to banish from his consciousness the delicious torment that had disrupted his sleep and was still with him even now, despite having taken the edge off and come down to the kitchen for a cup of tea to soothe his nerves and his private parts.

It wasn't working, of course.

He had quickly learned how difficult self-control could be when a certain brat was involved.

Since that tragic incident outside the walls, he found himself dreaming of her constantly - every night, inevitably; each night she arrived like a shadow, knocking cheerfully at the door of his brief sleep - after he was forced to go to the former Headquarters for some unavoidable reason and crossed paths with her; it happened far more often than he'd hoped, since Erwin insisted he assist with the more dangerous experiments. Sometimes they exchanged a few polite phrases or work-related updates; other times, they spent entire afternoons in silence, not even glancing at each other, standing guard while Hange busied herself with a series of bizarre, unmentionable tests on the two unfortunate Titans.

In those moments, they didn't look at each other and spoke only when necessary. Yet Levi was so acutely aware of her presence, of her very existence beside him, that he'd leave almost dizzy from the encounter.

At night, his subconscious would charge interest on those moments spent together - as if merely experiencing them weren't already confusing and unsettling enough - invading his mind with illusions that aroused him, until Erwin, Hange, or anyone damn else would come up some damned reason to send him back to the castle.

In his dreams, she appeared intensely vivid. She was the clearest, most precise image of all. With astonishment, Levi realized he had reproduced her face in every insignificant detail: her chapped lips; the tiny mole under her left eye; the darker, almost coppery flecks in her amber irises; the dark blond of her hair; the spiraled tendrils framing her face, and the soft shape of the curls hanging at the back of her neck.

She was so vividly real, so faithful to the original in appearance and demeanor, that she could set his nerves on edge with a single remark and provoke an erection with the next.

He had dreamed of sitting next to her in silence or chatting about trivial things, of listening to her laugh, of running his hand through her hair that curled around his fingers like living creatures. He'd dreamed of them walking side by side, in perfect synchrony, with no need for direction because they understood each other without words.

Dreams in which he took her, especially those. By now, he'd imagined making love to her in every possible position; but each fantasy left him unsatisfied, craving more, like a thirsty man who catches only a few raindrops with his tongue, drops that, rather than quenching his thirst, only intensify the dryness in his mouth.

Once, during a brief visit to the former Headquarters, he'd watched her lean over the mess hall table to retrieve a document Moblit was handing her from the other side; that night, he dreamed of her bent over his desk, gripping the edge and moaning as he held her slender hips tightly, pushing deeper each time as she pleaded with him, between cries and tears of pleasure, not to stop.

Another time, he caught sight of her straddling one of the outdoor benches, back straight as she combed Theo's hair; that night, he dreamed of her straddling him, proud and defiant, with the smug expression of someone who knew they held all the power. He could remember perfectly the sense of fulfillment, of completion, of sheer perfection as her wet, throbbing sex closed around his dick. She moved up and down in a steady rhythm, speeding up only to slow almost to a stop, forcing Levi to beg her to keep going; then, without warning, she would let herself sink down onto him with undulating movements of her hips that drove him to ecstasy.

But the most terrible moments were not the nights, because then, at least in his head, she was there, and she was his. The problem was the endless days. The Headquarters had suddenly turned into a silent place, too silent, and empty despite the constant bustle of soldiers.

The shift in their relationship hit him with crushing force, especially on scouting days. A couple of days before departure, nervous soldiers from the Garrison Regiment would replace the Survey Corps teams responsible for guarding the giants and assisting with experiments, allowing them to return to Headquarters. Levi, however, no longer went to the rooftop to watch the stars and wait for dawn; he didn't know if she, on the other hand, had maintained the habit.

The end of those nights stolen from the world added like a pearl to the thread of things about her that he had lost and that he missed terribly. When he had made the final decision to break their bond, he hadn't imagined forgetting her would be this hard. He had thought he'd grown accustomed to loss. He fully understood the meaning of the word "death," having felt it firsthand during his childhood in the Underground, and it hadn't taken long before he became familiar with the concepts of abandonment, misery, and pain, an awareness that grew sharper after joining the military.

But when Mizuki stood beside him, rigid as a broomstick, unnaturally silent and guarded, the situation pained him exactly as it had on the first day.

Only the sunset offered some relief, because she haunted his nights like a ghost roaming the halls and rooms of a castle where all the tragedies and joys of its life had taken place.

The source of that evening's disaster was not hard to pinpoint. In the dream, Levi, fresh out of the shower, was in his room, nude except for a towel knotted around his waist, when someone walked in without knocking. It was exactly what had happened just a few days prior, when Hange - back at the Headquarters on business - had burst into his room. She had looked him up and down, completely unfazed, then seated herself at his desk and enthusiastically presented him with the latest results from her experiments on Albert the Second and Cikatiloni. Levi had listened, unperturbed, leaning against the counter. After six years in the Corps together, he and the four-eyes had experienced their fair share of awkward situations - like bathing nude in a stream during a scouting. There had been far worse incidents than this, anyway - at least he had something on - and by now, neither of them was embarrassed by anything.

In the dream, however, the one who silently entered, with a mysterious smile on her lips, and closed the door behind her - locking it, he remembered that detail with paradoxical clarity, as if the click of the lock had sealed his fate, - was not Hange.

No, it wasn't Hange.

.

Mizuki closed the door and eyed him up and down while he, naked except for the towel wrapped around his waist, glared back at her with a somewhat annoyed expression. She let out a soft giggle, and at the same time, flicked the lock behind her back. "Am I disturbing you, Captain?"

"Hasn't anyone taught you to knock?"

"I was in a hurry."

"I don't give a damn. Get out."

"I can't. I came all this way to tell you something very important," Mizuki replied, her voice dripping with mischief, as she started to walk toward him, taking small but determined steps.

Sensing the danger, Levi leaned back against the edge of the desk, trying to pull back as if that would be enough to keep him out of this complicated situation. The smartest move would have been to put the table between them, but he found himself unable to do so; the mischievous look in her eyes, as she kept moving closer with steady steps, pinned him in place.

She stopped barely a hand's width from him.

"…"

"…"

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"What did you need to tell me?"

"Oh, right. That. Who knows, I might have forgotten."

"…"

"Maybe it'll come back to me. Why don't you say something, instead?"

"Like: get the hell out of here?"

Mizuki's sly smile grew. She placed her hands on the desk, each one on either side of his hips, and bent her head close, her lips nearly grazing his ear. "Like: what you'd like me to do to you right now."

A finger brushed and teased his thigh, sending a decidedly pleasant shiver through him, while her warm breath bathed his neck and chest as Mizuki knelt down, bringing her face directly level with his towel, which was now doing a poor job concealing his boner. She seemed to think exactly the same, as she reached out a hand to grasp a corner of it and let it fall to the floor. Mizuki's eyes, however, did not pay the slightest attention to the spectacle that Levi's nakedness offered her. ; they remained, amused, trained on his face.

All it took was her being in the room for his body to react, like a wild animal trained by a tamer with a whip.

"Why don't you order me to?"

"Because you'd ignore it anyway."

The scent of danger - mingled with her perfume - was so strong now that it was dizzying.

A delighted little giggle escaped her slim face, tilted up towards him, eagerly awaiting his surrender. "If you ask me nicely, I might just listen."

"…"

No, he had to leave. He had to get out of there as fast as possible, before it was too late.

But as if reading his mind, Mizuki raised her hand once again. With one finger, she traced an imaginary line from the base of his abdomen along the full length of his dick, painfully swollen with desire.

It was already too late; he was already lost. Every ounce of resolve, discipline, and decency yielded to the magnetic pull Mizuki had over him.

"Take it."

"Take it?" Her finger reached the tip and started to toy with it nonchalantly, drawing tiny circles. "And how would you like me to?"

"With your mouth."

"Oh."

"Now."

"That won't do, Captain." Her finger gently tapped the tip of his dick, as if scolding him for his owner's impatience. "That doesn't sound like a very polite order at all."

Levi clicked his tongue. "Please."

Mizuki nodded, licked her lips, and straightened up just a bit, bringing her face dangerously close to his penis. "Much better. When you ask nicely, it really makes me want to follow orders…"

Then she parted her lips, and…

.

Levi's eyes flew open. He was drenched in sweat again, just as he had been barely half an hour earlier, when he'd awoken abruptly from that hellishly exquisite trap, with a head-spinning boner pressing against the fabric of his pants, feeling like some teenage boy facing this for the first time.

How the hell was it possible that that little bitch enjoyed tormenting him even in his erotic dreams?

And yet, maybe it was that very fact that lent such realism to the entire scene, and made him so damn aroused.

The fact that she was herself.

For what felt like the hundredth time, Levi thanked the heavens that the brat was still inexperienced; if she'd had even a hint of erotic knowledge, given her personality, she would have eaten him alive.

Not that he would've minded.

Not at all.

"Damn brat…" he muttered, wiping a hand across his forehead.

"Captain Levi?"

Levi flinched. Eld was watching him from the kitchen doorway, looking unsure.

"Everything all right?"

"Yes."

Realizing he was no longer alone helped him regain enough distance to prevent yet another erection that night. Remembering the tea he had left steeping, Levi gestured towards the kettle on the stove, and Eld accepted the invitation with a smile. Two minutes later, the two men sat at the kitchen table, sipping the hot liquid, which released a calming, sweet fragrance.

"One of the usual nightmares, Captain?" Eld asked, toying with the handle of his cup.

Worse, much worse. An erotic dream. About my subordinate. "More or less."

Among the members of the Special Operations Squad, Eld was the one with whom Levi, due to their roles and age, felt most comfortable. Eld, for his part, had come to understand Levi and the demons that haunted him over countless hours spent handling paperwork or sitting side by side in interminable meetings with the higher-ups. Sometimes, therefore, Eld allowed himself remarks that other subordinates - excluding, of course, that cheeky brat - would never dream of making.

"And you?"

Eld raised his head, surprised. It was rare for Levi to start a conversation unless it was work-related or out of necessity. But that evening - even though his vice-captain couldn't imagine it - Levi needed to keep his mind occupied.

"I… to be honest… oh, to hell with it, Captain! You were the first one I wanted to tell anyway." Eld shook his head with resolve, and after a moment's hesitation, announced, "Marianne forced me to propose to her this afternoon."

Levi placed his cup back on its saucer with composure and stayed silent for a while. "Oh, yeah?"

"Right after, she accepted my proposal, and now I'm trying to wrap my head around it."

"Thank goodness."

Though Levi tried to conceal his sarcasm, Eld caught it and laughed softly. "I know, it may sound odd, but that's exactly what happened. I guess… we'd been talking about marriage for months, and I'd been dragging my feet for just as long."

Levi took another sip of tea, cursing the brat. After all, the only reason he now found himself in the position of confidant to his vice's love troubles - a role he felt utterly unqualified for - was because of the spell she'd cast on him with that kiss; a curse that forced him to devise countless ways to keep his mind from lingering on her memory.

"You know it, Captain. Our job… it's what it is. Every mission could be our last. Often, those left behind don't even have a body to weep over. Thanks to that damned law passed a couple of years ago, the State only provides a pension to relatives of soldiers who served in the Corps for at least ten years. Ten years! A joke, really, for a Survey Corps soldier! And I… I had no intention of putting Marianne through that hell; of making her a widow before she even turned twenty. So, as much as I loved her, I kept putting it off."

Eld stood up, leaving his cup half-full, and began to pace the room, clearly agitated.

"She knew it, and today she gave me an ultimatum. Either we marry, or we part ways, Eld. That's exactly how she started, Captain. You can imagine how stunned I was! Then she continued: I don't care about anything else - anything, you understand? - except us. We're alive; we need to live; and I want to live with you by my side. I'd rather be your woman, and then your widow, a thousand times over, than face life without you. Those were her words."

Levi wondered what the right response to such a confession would be or what Eld expected from him, and he couldn't help but think that she, unlike him, would have known exactly how to respond; maybe she'd be touched by the beautiful news, maybe she'd give him a hug, maybe she'd wish him every happiness, maybe she'd spend the whole night listening to his rambling stories.

"She seems like a tough one. Really put you on the spot, that's for sure," he finally commented, after a pause that had dragged on longer than it should have.

Eld couldn't hold back a goofy smile when he heard Levi's words of approval. "She's the woman of my life. And in that moment, Captain, I thought of you…"

Levi raised an eyebrow, unsure how to interpret that remark. "Of me?"

"Of what you always say, about how no one knows what lies ahead and that all we can do is choose a path we won't regret. So, I knelt in front of Marianne… and I did it."

Yes, Levi indeed saw their work - and life in general - that way, and often shared this philosophy with subordinates, to which he was providing guidance or moral support. Although he didn't consider himself the best person for the role, it was part of his job, and he would never refuse to help someone in need. It was rather ironic that Eld would bring it up now, since, regarding her and what had happened between them, Levi found himself incapable of taking the same approach; in fact, it almost seemed as though every decision he'd made up until then was inspired by a completely opposite logic, one that had him accumulating regret after regret.

Eld sat back down at the table, cheeks flushed. "I did it. We're getting married this summer, in August. And, Captain… it would mean a lot to me if you would be my best man."

Levi's body tensed as if, instead of a gesture meant to honor him, Eld had just slapped him.

"Of course, only if it wouldn't be too much trouble…" Eld quickly added, noticing Levi's reaction.

"No, it's fine. But are you sure you want me?"

A gleeful flash crossed Eld's face, and he nodded vigorously. "Absolutely. There's no one better suited! You're loyalty itself, Captain!"

Levi chose to let that last remark slide, but - while Eld launched into an ecstatic description of the ceremony - couldn't help picturing how the brat would react when she heard the news. She would no doubt be thrilled for Eld; she seemed exactly the type to love weddings and would certainly feel genuine joy at seeing a friend find happiness; just as certainly, when told that the role of best man would go to him, she'd throw her head back, and that clear, ringing laugh would spill from her lips.

That laugh, her laugh.

His torment, his delight.

The precious thing he missed most of all, now that he'd chosen a path littered with regrets.

Only half-listening to his vice's speech, Levi wondered if his decision to run away truly satisfied him.

He didn't want to ruin her life, but would sharing his feelings - more than he already had - really bring her pain? Was there really no hope for them? Could Levi truly never make her happy? If not right away, maybe someday soon? Would the accursed scourge of the Titans really separate them forever?

Before, he'd believed that without a doubt. But after two months apart, he was no longer so sure. And in any case, the regret of losing her was consuming him.

By the end of next week, Hange's squad would return to HQ to participate in the sixth scouting mission of the year 850. Perhaps he could broach the subject with her then, try to mend things, assuming it wasn't already too late. He wasn't quite sure what he wanted to achieve; only that the current state of things was intolerable. He missed her laugh; missed looking into her eyes; missed the way she teasingly called him "sunshine"; damn it, he even missed her cheeky remarks.

He missed Mizuki.

After about half an hour, Eld, his initial enthusiasm finally tempered by his long monologue on wedding plans, thanked Levi for listening and made to leave.

"Eld."

Only when his deputy reached the door did Levi call out. Eld stopped and turned, curiosity on his face.

"Congratulations. Really."

The broad, toothy grin Eld gave him in that moment was something Levi would remember for the rest of his life.

.

With her back pressed against the castle's stone wall, Mizuki blew on the steaming cup of tea she held in her hands. A wisp of white smoke rose from the dark liquid, vanishing into the night's darkness. She sighed. How she wished what was in her cup were coffee, not this muddy water. After a wake-up like the one she'd just had, only caffeine could soothe her frayed nerves, overstimulated by unsettling dreams born from a vivid and merciless imagination.

She sighed again and lifted her chin, studying the serene sky that spread over the clearing and the forest nearby. A few meters away, stood the pair of tents, in which the unfortunate - she'd never thought she'd one day use that adjective for a pair of titans - Cikatiloni and Albert Second were chained to the ground by numerous anti-titan cables.

Coffee would be far better than tea, especially since that golden drink unfailingly reminded her of the one she was forcing herself to forget.

The captain was there, and yet he wasn't. A subtle, unsolvable, and excruciating contradiction.

He was always there, in her thoughts; practically every object in the castle where they had met, every room, every corner, brought back a memory of him, a gesture, a funny moment, a word, fragments from a time when she considered him just a slightly gruff stranger, but extremely interesting and, maybe even back then, captivating. She'd often wondered if the seed of that attraction had already been nesting within her back then, an attraction that over the months had only grown, transforming into an uncontrollable and explosive energy.

At the same time, Levi wasn't there: physically, as he spent most of his time at the Headquarters, and especially spiritually, because on the rare occasions when work required him to come to the castle, the captain kept his distance. It was as if a glass wall stood between them, as high as the wall protecting humanity from the titans and just as impenetrable. Between them was an insurmountable distance; she would look at him through the dividing glass, reach out a hand she knew would never touch him, while he pretended not to notice. Though they both had resumed their usual behavior around other soldiers - she, making comments skirting the edge of acceptability; he, responding curtly - it was a farce staged for the exclusive use and consumption of their comrades, so they wouldn't suspect the truth; but they no longer spoke as they once did, both of them strenuously tried not to be alone with the other, and above all they never looked each other straight in the eye.

What would have happened if she felt those sharp blades on her again?

Mizuki shivered. Just the thought made her stomach twist. She was sure that if it ever happened, it would mark the end of her young life, her heart would give out right then and there.

After the incident, Mizuki had stopped visiting the Headquarters' terrace on the nights before a scouting. She avoided that place like the plague, gripped by the irrational fear of running into Levi, though truthfully, she had no idea whether he still went there or not.

The stars - quiet, motionless specks of light, ancient traces of a story that no one would ever tell - twinkled softly above her head. She barely restrained herself from labeling them, even just in her thoughts, as dull and monotonous; she refused to associate such adjectives with something she had once considered one of the most enchanting natural beauties in existence.

However, she couldn't deny that now they bored her.

At first, she couldn't understand the reason for this sudden disinterest; then, all at once, the truth hit her.

The sky hadn't changed, nor had the stars become any less bright or magical. It was she who was different, and this influenced her perception of both.

The late-night encounters with the captain had created a lasting link between him and the starry nights. He had been the one to make them special: the time spent with him, the contemplation of infinity in his company, the elegance of his profile.

And now, the loss of Levi had taken with it her ability to spend minutes, hours, whole nights, with her head tilted up, her soul brimming with the beauty the world offered to its most unruly children.

"I miss you…" she whispered, startled by the words. It was the first time she had admitted it out loud, even to herself. But that night, alone under a sky that for anyone else would be bright and, for her alone, was dull, she couldn't ignore the hollow feeling carving into her chest. "I miss you," she repeated, more firmly. "I miss you so much. I want to see you. I want to talk to you. I want you here. I want…"

The warmth of the cup seeped comfortingly into her chilled fingers.

"… to hold you. I want…"

I want.

The images from the dream that had woken her up barely half an hour earlier still crowded her mind, making her restless.

It was all Jacqueline's fault, of course. That afternoon, her friend had come to visit and recounted, in excruciating detail, the latest erotic game - one involving a generous use of ropes and ties - she had indulged in with her new lover. And undoubtedly, the fact that the castle was practically buzzing with hormones didn't help; it affected everyone living there. Mizuki's suspicion that many people were having quite the time of their lives, taking advantage of being away from the Headquarters and out of their superiors' watchful eyes - Hange didn't count, as she paid no attention to anything other than Cikatiloni and Albert the Second - had been confirmed just a few minutes before. After her abrupt wake-up, she'd headed toward the kitchen and passed Moblit's room; the thick wooden door couldn't muffle the creaking of the bed and the sounds of pleasure coming from within.

Her dream had been quite simple, almost banal. Lacking real experience, Mizuki's imagination had made do with the sparse material at hand, yet it was still enough to throw her out of bed, aflame.

In her dream, someone slipped under the covers beside her. Though it was too dark to make out any features, Mizuki instantly recognized who it was; that scent was unmistakable to her, she would recognize it in a room filled with spices that gave off intense and overpowering scents and tingled the nose. His mere proximity shortened her breath, quickened her heartbeat, and raised her body temperature by a few degrees; and he hadn't even touched her yet.

Rough hands, firm but gentle, grabbed her wrists, and as if by magic, she found herself tied hand and foot to the headboard, naked and trembling.

The captain loomed over her. Strands of dark hair fell messily across his forehead, sharp steel-gray eyes hungrily studied her body, and warm, soft lips, slightly parted, prepared to feast on the spoils of their prey.

"You're mine," he said in a pragmatic tone, as if he were merely noting that the sky was blue or the grass green.

She wanted to retort something cheeky - something along the lines of how she never would have expected to hear such embarrassing, cliché words coming from his mouth - but found she couldn't mock what she knew to be true.

She had belonged to Levi in her soul for a long time, and would soon become his in flesh as well.

Levi began to explore her.

At first, two calloused fingers traced invisible paths over her entire body; whenever he noticed he'd reached a sensitive spot, he lingered, pressing and caressing until she begged with a moan for him to continue, to uncover more of her, to go lower. Then he replaced his fingers with his tongue, a warm sponge that followed the same trails his fingers had traced; yet the sensation it brought was so different - more intense, more sensual, more electrifying - that Mizuki nearly started crying in frustration at the slow pace of his movements.

That slow dance stripped her of all resistance, wiped away every trace of logic and rationality, leaving her a willing slave reveling in her own servitude: she wanted it to never end, for him to keep claiming her that way; and yet, the fire igniting fiercely in her lower abdomen and the boner pressing against her thigh made her dominated by a single, imperious desire.

Now the need to feel him inside her had swelled to a painful, aching wound.

If he didn't take her, if he didn't fuck her right now, she would die.

"Take me," she moaned in a small, unnatural voice.

May heaven forgive her sin, may no one blame her, may no one point her out as the worst traitor; but she would make love to him.

Hearing that plea, even the captain seemed unable to resist any longer: with a swift motion, he spread her legs, positioned himself over her, and then…

She didn't know what happened next. Or perhaps, even if her body did know, thanks to some primal knowledge that passes through the blood, it chose not to share it with her conscious mind.

Mizuki had woken up with a start, drenched in sweat and excitement.

"I want…" she murmured again, reliving the scene.

She knew what she wanted, but she'd never be able to put it into words.

As for finding herself bound and without any power over the situation - even if it was just a dream- that hadn't exactly thrilled her. What agitated her was simply the fact that the captain was touching her, that he was straddling her, that he was about to fuck her - she blushed, it still embarrassed her to admit that using certain crude words excited her - not so much the idea of being completely under his power. She couldn't understand how someone as assertive and in love with control as Jackie could be so enthusiastic about a game that, as far as she was concerned, held no attraction.

Of course, if their roles were reversed; if, that is, the captain were the one bound and at her mercy…she wasn't entirely sure what she'd do to him, but it would definitely be a real thrill. She'd force him to say things far more embarrassing than "you're mine," to make otherworldly expressions, to beg her to hurry up and go lower.

Mizuki smiled. If only…

The tea had gone cold in her hands by now.

She closed her eyes halfway.

Getting lost in fantasies was useless.

The captain had been ignoring her for months, and their relationship was permanently damaged.

"I'm pathetic…"

"Don't you think you're being a little too hard on yourself? Whatever it is."

Mizuki gasped. "Moblit!"

The silhouette of Hange's second-in-command stood out against the light of the kitchen door that looked out onto the garden. The same door Mizuki had burst through almost two years before, after grabbing a knife from a drawer, rushing to help Hange, whom she believed to be under attack; only to find, to her shock, that it was actually the Titan "Albert," as Hange had named it, who had been in peril. With a measured gesture, Moblit closed the door behind him, approached Mizuki, and leaned against the stone wall beside her. "I stole some of the tea you made. Hope that's okay."

"Of course. You know I only drink it because I have no other choice."

Moblit smiled as he lifted the cup to his lips. "I remember when you first arrived here, a year and a half ago, loudly demanding that someone bring you coffee."

"Good times. Back then I didn't realize just how impossible that request was."

Moblit nodded, and silence settled between them. Mizuki liked Moblit quite a lot, though she had to admit - albeit with a pang of guilt - that his quietness and reserved nature sometimes made her forget he even existed.

"Moblit?"

"Mmh?"

"Do you remember how much fun I had tormenting you in the beginning?"

"You had fun tormenting everyone. And, for the record, you're still tormenting me."

Mizuki chuckled, sipping the now-cold tea with a mock grimace. "True, but with you, it was especially easy and entertaining. You were so jealous of Hange and Amado."

"Yeah…"

Mizuki chose her words carefully. She'd wanted to bring up this topic with him for some time, but until then the right moment had never nighttime, entirely casual meeting seemed perfect for the purpose, but due to Moblit's shy and reserved nature she had to be careful of how she introduced the conversation. "Who would've thought things would turn out this way?" she ventured, keeping it vague to give him a way out.

Moblit cast her a cautious yet curious glance, without irritation or concern, so Mizuki decided to press on.

"If you're asking whether I heard the concert in your room, the answer is yes," she said; noticing the flicker of anxiety on Moblit's face, she quickly added: "Relax, no one else is awake at this hour, and I won't say a word. Your secret's safe." She left out the fact that, as always, it had been Lavinia who'd picked up on Moblit's affair first, and that Mizuki, as always, had simply used her friend's insights to stick her nose in other people's business.

Moblit's shoulders relaxed. "I'm constantly worried someone will find out," he admitted, sounding as if he were confessing that he had just robbed an old lady on the street.

"And why is that, exactly? I think there are more secret relationships in the Corps than in all the cities within the walls combined!"

"You know the reason. Relationships between superiors and subordinates are forbidden…"

"Right, which is why I said 'secret relationships.'"

Moblit gave her a look that mixed equal amounts of disapproval and envy. "I know you don't have much of a problem breaking rules, but for me it's the first time, and… oh, I don't think I could ever turn to crime! I'm too anxious!"

"Don't worry, it's all downhill from here," Mizuki assured him, laughing. Moblit's comment struck her as ironic, considering that not only was she used to disregarding nearly every rule in the military regulations, but she'd also broken the very rule that Moblit was now struggling with. "Besides, that rule is absolutely ridiculous. I've always thought so," she muttered, as though defending herself from an unseen accuser. "I can see the point of it in the corrupt Military Police… but in our unit? Even if someone did advance by hooking up with a superior, they wouldn't last long. It's not like the Titans would do them the favor of sparing them. Out there, we're all equal."

"Another sore point: the expeditions." Moblit shook his head, looking even more dejected. "Every mission is a blow to the heart. Until we pass through Trost's gate, I'm eaten up with anxiety that this time, we won't both make it back."

Mizuki frowned, confused. Given that Moblit was lamenting the anxieties his clandestine relationship brought him, she had mistakenly assumed he wanted to end it, and, to avoid comforting the broken heart of someone she cared for, she'd tried to dissuade him. Now, however, she realized Moblit had no intention of ending the relationship, no matter how much worry and discomfort it caused him; he just needed someone to vent to. He didn't need Mizuki to reassure him, just to listen.

"At least you're on the same team, right? So you can make sure that everything goes smoothly…"

"If only my presence alone could ensure that…"

She envied him. The realization hit Mizuki suddenly. Perhaps she was better - or, rather, more brazen - than Moblit at breaking rules, but when it came to matters of the heart, he was showing far more courage than she ever had.

At the first sign of trouble, she'd fled like a rabbit. And even before Levi's rejection, she'd hesitated endlessly, convincing herself for convenience that the best approach was to ignore the feelings that had blossomed for him, settling for the ambiguous relationship they had established. Now she knew with certainty that what had guided her, then as now, were self-preservation and the fear of being irreparably hurt.

How could Moblit accept such a devastating risk without flinching?

"Sorry if I'm out of line, Moblit," Mizuki said timidly, adopting a casual tone. "But if this relationship brings you so much worry and stress, why did you get into it?"

Moblit looked at her for a long time without responding; then, perhaps understanding more than Mizuki had intended to reveal, he smiled gently. "Ah, Mizuki. You are right on the mark when you say you don't understand a thing about these matters, aren't you…?"

Feeling as uneasy as a child caught sneaking a bite of freshly baked cake, Mizuki quickly averted her gaze from Moblit and turned it to the sky. "That's true, but... it only takes a bit of rationality to reach the same conclusion as I have, doesn't it? I mean, getting into a romantic relationship only brings trouble; there's no real benefit! What's the point? You said it yourself, Moblit: you're afraid someone will discover your secret and report it to the Commander. You're afraid your person might die and break your heart. I bet you're also worried they'll eventually get bored and leave you. And what's the result? You're constantly anxious. It seems there are enough reasons not to get into such a mess."

Mizuki spoke all in one breath and immediately felt lighter, as if sharing her own doubts with Moblit had somehow made them less burdensome.

Moblit's expression softened. "You're certainly right, Mizuki. It's easy to find good excuses not to do it. Don't you think?"

Excuses, yes. She called them "reasons," but perhaps Moblit's word was more accurate.

"And yet, no matter how many excuses we come up with, sooner or later there comes a moment when they're not enough: then, we make one wrong move, and before we know it, we're caught up in something far bigger than ourselves." Sighing, Moblit shrugged, as if to emphasize the futility of resisting. "At least, that's how it was for me."

Moblit's words drifted over Mizuki like a warm breeze, melting away the doubts that had tangled her thoughts.

She took a deep breath and made up her mind.

In the past two months, she'd found every excuse to stay away from Headquarters, to escape from Levi and the feelings she harbored for him, but it was time to stop. An expedition was scheduled for next week; Mizuki would take that opportunity to face the captain head on, just as wise Jacqueline had advised; and this time she would be able to accept any answer, as long as he gave it while looking her straight in the eye and without hesitation.

For the first time after two long months of hesitation and nostalgia, Mizuki finally felt at peace with herself. And for that, she had no one to thank but Moblit.

"Aaaaah, Moblit, you really are the voice of reason. Now I understand why you're the only one Hange listens to. You're amazing: when I talk to you, it's like my head clears and my thoughts are put in order" Mizuki said, then leaned her head onto his shoulder, prompting him to smile in embarrassment. "But let me give you a warning: I'm truly happy for you two, but if you mess this up, I'll never forgive you. Are we clear?"

Moblit looked genuinely offended by the suggestion. "I'd never do that!"

"I know, but I'm saying it anyway. Forewarned is forearmed." Chuckling, Mizuki nestled against Moblit's shoulder.

"Hey, you two! What're you doing, flirting? Did I just catch my two loyal aides breaking the most sacred rule of the army?!" Hange exclaimed loudly, emerging from the tents housing the giants.

Moblit let out a tired, slightly exasperated sigh. "Squad leader... when I saw that the bed in the office was empty, I was sure I'd find you here."

"Oh, so that's why you came down to the kitchen, Moblit! And here I thought you just wanted to chat with me!" Mizuki pretended to pout, giving him a playful nudge in the stomach.

"Squad leader, how many times do I have to tell you not to go into the tents alone? It's dangerous..."

"Stop overreacting, Moblit!" Hange huffed, pausing in front of her two subordinates. "You act as if Ciki or Albi were out to hurt me!"

Mizuki widened her eyes and, going to Moblit's aid, commented: "Yesterday, Ciki almost tore your arm off!"

Hange ignored her, just as she always did with comments that didn't fit her rosy perception of the two Titans. Her subordinates, however, let the matter drop, since Hange was going through a rough patch: before they returned to Headquarters for the upcoming expedition, she and her team were faced with the unenviable task of getting rid of Ciki and Albi. The Central Government had set simple conditions for allowing the two Titans to remain within the walls: Ciki and Albi could stay only as long as they proved useful for the Survey Corps' studies. After nearly two months, Hange's team had completed the scheduled experiments, added a few additional tests - most of which were strikingly similar to the official procedures, designed by Hange purely to delay the fatal moment of disposing of the guinea pigs - and collected all the data that could be obtained from the two giants; which meant that their time had finally come.

For Hange, it was hard to accept, despite knowing Ciki and Albi's fate had been sealed from the start. She was truly heartbroken, as if she were about to lose two beloved pets, and spent more nights with them than in her own bed. "Let me spend these last moments with them," she would murmur sadly; and Mizuki and Moblit couldn't bring themselves to stop her, despite the risks posed by Ciki and Albi.

"Well? Just the two of you here? The third of the trio is missing! Where's Amado?" Hange asked, adjusting the glasses on her nose.

Before Moblit could offer a neutral response like "no idea" or "probably asleep," Mizuki let out a mischievous giggle. "Amado? Oh, I think he's in a deep sleep right now. You know, he had a pretty intense workout before bed, so he must be dead tired."

Moblit flushed crimson. "Mizuki!" he hissed.

Hange furrowed her brow, missing the double meaning hidden in that innocent observation - just as Mizuki had expected. Though she admired her commander's brilliance, she also knew that Hange's sharpness only extended to a few specific areas, which didn't include matters of the heart. "Really? I didn't know Amado worked out before bed."

"Ah, teasing you is always a pleasure, dear." As she moved past him back into the kitchen, Mizuki blew Moblit a kiss. He might be dating Amado now, but his new status wouldn't protect him from Mizuki's teasing; on the contrary, for her it was fertile ground from which to draw new ideas and inspiration to tease him.

She headed upstairs to her bedroom, humming as she went, feeling as serene and relaxed as she hadn't felt in a long time.

.

OOO

.

As always before the departure of an expedition, Trost's streets teemed with Survey Corps' soldiers and curious onlookers. The May sun, blinding and majestic, shone mercilessly above their heads; the stone streets and buildings reflected its white rays, amplifying they intensity and heat.

Mizuki wiped the beads of sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand and squinted her eyes. She had just said goodbye to Theo and Jacqueline, who had offered to care for the little one during her absence; she could still feel their scent clinging to her from when she had hugged them. Through her barely parted lashes, she noticed a slender figure moving gracefully in the distance, at the edge of her vision. The captain walked at a brisk pace, accompanied by Eld and Oluo, yet the way he led his horse, pulling it by the reins, was gentle.

She couldn't help but watch him that way. Since her conversation with Moblit, when she had decided to confront Levi, a deep sense of calm had settled within her - similar to the tranquility death-row prisoners feel when, after a long and exhausting wait, they're finally led to the gallows for their sentence.

Despite her firm decision, she had deemed it wise to delay the conversation until after the expedition. It wouldn't be smart to leave the walls in a state of agitation, whether due to the despair of a final rejection or the exhilaration of even the slightest change of heart from Levi. She had waited two months, one more day wouldn't make a difference.

"Oh, Armin! Did you see that?! It's the Scouts! And look… Oh, AMAZING! Look over there! That's humanity's strongest soldier, Captain Levi! They say he alone has the strength of an entire brigade!"

Mizuki, half-listening to the crowd's chatter, nodded in agreement at the last remark, though for accuracy's sake, she would've liked to clarify that the captain actually had the strength of at least two brigades.

"But… Wait, isn't that Miss Mizuki? Hey, Miss Mizuki! Over here!"

"Don't shout, Eren…"

Feeling unexpectedly called out, Mizuki turned towards a small group of young kids standing in the front row of the crowd; they were soldiers, specifically cadets, identifiable by the emblem of two crossed swords on their uniforms. Two faces looked particularly familiar to her; it took her a moment, but she finally recognized them as the recruits she had met at the Southern Training Camp during her visit to Willy Anderson.

"So, you guys are… Armin and Eren, right?" Mizuki inquired, approaching the group with a benevolent smile.

"She remembers my name! Wonderful!" If possible, Eren seemed even more excited and nervous than the last time she had met him.

"What a memory!" commented his friend, with a soft and slightly timid voice; however, the gaze with which he studied her was sharp and probing. To Mizuki, it resembled the expression that occasionally appeared on Commander Erwin's face when he was trying to decipher some mystery known only to him.

"Miss Mizuki, are you about to go on a scouting?!"

"Eren, please, don't call me 'miss'… but yes, we're about to leave." Mizuki leaned sideways to greet the other two cadets, a tall young man and a girl with a ponytail, whom she had never met. "Good morning. My name's Mizuki Onizuka, I'm the Survey Corps's doctor," she introduced herself warmly.

"I've heard of you!" the girl with the ponytail exclaimed, her mouth agape in surprise. "You're famous!"

"Famous? Me? I don't really think so."

"Incredible, Miss Mizuki! You're famous!"

"No 'miss', please…"

"Yes, I'm sure! You're the one who ran on foot and unarmed right under a titan and then killed it by popping out of his ass! I heard the story in a tavern!" declared the cadet with conviction. "The name of the protagonist of the story was really unusual; I remember it because of that."

"Oh, yes!" Eren exclaimed, thrilled. "I heard it too!"

"Ugh, this story again… it'll haunt me forever," Mizuki groaned, rolling her eyes in exasperation.

After that revelation, the group of young soldiers looked at her with newfound and much deeper respect; all except Armin, at least, because he had been studying her with particular interest since that distant day at the Training Camp. In Mizuki, he believed he had glimpsed signs of a latent strength, at times mysterious and alien, and extraordinary reflexes, developed like those of a feline. Starting from that unexpected and hasty observation, Armin had been convinced that Mizuki was special, and maybe even slightly weird; so learning that she was the protagonist of that famous story circulating among the cadets didn't surprise him at all.

"I can't wait to try doing the same thing!" said Eren, his eyes sparkling with excitement and admiration.

Mizuki bit her lower lip. Eren reminded her painfully of her little sister, who, whenever she saw Mizuki up to some mischief, would throw herself into clumsy attempts to mimic her. With the difference, however, that the mischief Eren intended to draw inspiration from would almost certainly get him killed. A rookie on foot up against a titan, without Sharingan? Heaven help her! The captain would literally skin her alive if he ever found out that her "brilliant" idea had influenced a group of reckless, immature kids. "Uhm… no, that was actually a pretty stupid thing to do, so don't imitate me," she warned, nearly raising a finger in admonishment the way Dita Neiss did during lectures. Then she frowned, rethinking Eren's remark and suddenly remembering that the entrance of the Southern Training Camp recruits was scheduled for May. "Wait… if you're here in town, don't tell me that…"

"Exactly!" Eren brought a clenched hand to his chest with a proud expression. "We've finally graduated!"

"Oh, congratulations, everyone!" Mizuki said with genuine enthusiasm.

She hadn't undergone the same training as Eren and Armin to become a soldier, yet she remembered perfectly the day she graduated from the Academy in the Hidden Leaf Village. That feeling of success and omnipotence, fueled by the illusion that she'd finally become an adult, when in fact she was still just a lost child, innocent, unaware of life's dangers; that conviction of having reached the ultimate purpose of existence, of knowing everything there was to know, and above all, of being capable of solving any problem, when in truth, she was utterly ignorant of what truly mattered. Mizuki remembered that feeling, that conviction; she had savored them for weeks after graduation until life had revealed their utter inconsistency. For Eren and Armin too that fateful moment would come, and all too soon; but Mizuki held her tongue, choosing not to warn them, because she wanted them to fully enjoy their triumph without interference before the curtain rose to expose the lie.

"So, when's the closing ceremony set?" she asked politely instead.

"Very soon! Afterwards, we'll be colleagues, Miss Mizuki!" Eren turned to his companions, and with a solemn, conspiratorial tone, informed them, "You know, she's intimate with Captain Levi!"

What a terrible choice of words.

Mizuki felt blood rush to her face; she thanked the blinding sun overhead that day, allowing her to attribute the sudden flush to the heat. Her luck was doubled as the crisp clang of the bell atop the walls filled the air, sparing her the embarrassment of replying to that last remark.

"I have to go now! See you soon, then! As colleagues," Mizuki said, stepping away from the group and waving.

"Of course, Miss Mizuki! We'll see you very soon! As… as colleagues!" Eren echoed with excitement; his voice - trembling, emotional - dwelt on the last word as though it contained the meaning of the universe.

Neither of them could imagine that this promise would become reality all too soon and in a wholly unexpected way.

.

Levi was striding swiftly towards his squad's assigned position, guiding his horse with light tugs on the reins; beside him, Oluo and Eld were animatedly discussing the latter's upcoming marriage. Levi's second-in-command had planned to officially announce the happy news after the expedition; unfortunately, his fiancée had visited Headquarters, met Hange as she was returning, and by evening all of Trost had been thoroughly informed of the wedding. The event quickly became the main topic of discussion among Eld's colleagues.

"Listen, Eld… I don't mean to meddle, of course. It's your business, but are you serious about getting married in August? Are you planning to let your guests die of heat?"

"Your premise and conclusion don't exactly line up."

"Yeah, but… really? We'll melt in early August!"

"It's the same date as Marianne's parents' wedding, and it matters to her."

"Good for her, but why should it matter to us?"

"Anyway, Oluo, if you don't feel like coming, don't! It's all the same to me!"

"Tsk, what do you take me for? I wouldn't miss it for anything!"

"Of course not… you wouldn't miss a chance to meet a crowd of girls!"

Levi kept his gaze fixed ahead, unconcerned with the chatter of his subordinates, focused on the impending departure, when an exclamation caught his attention. "Look over there! That's humanity's strongest soldier, Captain Levi! They say he alone has the strength of an entire brigade!"

"Tsk. Damn kids…always making a fuss..."

There they were, the usual brats, exaggerating his abilities without a clue. Levi was no hypocrite: he freely admitted that nature had gifted him with exceptional strength, and he had placed these extraordinary abilities in the service of humanity. However, he found the almost fanatical admiration some people within the walls held for him deplorable, especially when this fervor led them to enlist or take on some reckless mission.

He was about to move on when the same voice as before shouted: "But... Wait, isn't that Miss Mizuki! Hey, Miss Mizuki! Over here!"

Levi turned his head sharply. He immediately spotted the round, melon-like bun bobbing in the crowd as she approached a group of eager young recruits and began chatting animatedly with them. The one who had called her was a boy with brown hair and large green eyes, visibly thrilled; also the other three cadets were watching her with thinly veiled respect and curiosity.

He couldn't help but wonder who they were and where she'd met them, as always happened whenever the girl approached someone unknown to him with such familiarity. Levi had never been the jealous type; and until then, he wouldn't have even known what or whom to be jealous of. But with her, also that side of him was different. Though he rationally knew he had no right or claim over her, nor had he ever desired to limit her in any way, whenever she shared any closeness with another man - even if he was just a brat - it made his skin prickle in a rather unpleasant way.

Levi's gaze slid slowly along Mizuki's figure. The white pants of the uniform reflected the sun's blinding light, yet this didn't prevent him from appreciating the way her firm butt softly filled the fabric. His fingers remembered the sensation of sinking into that tender flesh, and they twitched with the urge to do so again.

But they would have to wait until after the return.

He had already postponed that conversation for two months; another day or so wouldn't make any difference.

At that moment, the deafening clang of the bell announcing the departure resounded through the streets of Trost.

.

The fifty-sixth reconnaissance was about to begin.

Once it concluded, both Levi and Mizuki planned to escape, one way or another, the grotesque limbo in which that passionate kiss had left them.

Both had chosen to wait until after the expedition to carry out their plan; both believed they had time, that a day or two more wouldn't make any difference.

But they were quite mistaken.

.

On top of the walls, the Vice Commander of Marley's Warriors watched as the soldiers marched through the city gates, headed towards the unknown.

The Scouts: the eternal defeated, the insane, the walking dead. How much he would enjoy squashing them like insects.

Reiner and Berthold - the Armored and the Colossal Titans - were already at their posts, waiting for the only members of the army who could possibly hinder them to move far enough away from the walls.

They knew exactly what their superior expected of them. To unleash hell upon the city. And that's what they would do.

The man's lips stretched into a grotesque, sick grin, mad and filled with hate.

"Have you said goodbye to your dear Trost, filthy Uchiha?" he sang out, his fists clenched deep in the pockets of his pants. "I hope so, because this is the last time you'll see it intact. Soon, this city will descend into utter chaos and devastation."

Just like Shiganshina, five years before.

The Vice Commander of Marley's Warriors couldn't hold back any longer and burst into a ghostly laugh, that resembled the howl of a wolf on the hunt.

"It's time to give these demons another taste of hell."

.

Mizuki landed with a firm thud on the roof of the house. She was drenched head to toe in titan blood, feeling as filthy and sticky as a piece of candy.

The scouting had started in the worst possible way. After two hours of riding, the formation had regrouped to water the horses and was then ambushed by titans from all directions. A true massacre.

They had been caught off guard, overwhelmed. It had never happened that so many titans gathered at the same spot and at the same time, as though they'd arranged to meet there.

Mizuki's gaze wandered over the blood-stained streets and dismembered bodies, a sight that no longer stirred any apprehension or disgust within her.

Levi and Petra were kneeling on the cobblestones beside a dying soldier. With a quick glance, Mizuki assessed that there was nothing left to be done for the poor man – the lower half of his body was completely mangled, and all sorts of fluids were spilling from his torn limbs – so she didn't move.

The captain grabbed the man's hand, even though it was so filthy that even Mizuki would have hesitated to touch it. She couldn't see Levi's face, as he had his back to her, but she sensed what was happening. Levi was taking on another burden, promising the dying soldier that his sacrifice wouldn't be in vain, that he would make sure it was meaningful, that he would fight and devote his entire life to that purpose.

Mizuki understood, swallowed, her chest ready to burst. She thought it wasn't possible, but she liked Levi more with each passing day; her affection for him, boundless and vast, seeped into every crevice of her soul, like the water of a mountain stream filling unseen underground hollows and pockets in the earth.

Beside him, Petra watched him with a look of adoration and empathy, and Mizuki thought for the umpteenth time, not without a pang of envy, that those two made a perfect couple.

Commander Erwin appeared on the road, galloping toward Petra and the captain. "Levi! Retreat!"

Mizuki frowned.

Retreat? Why on earth would they be retreating? They had just left the walls!

Levi replied to the commander, but Mizuki couldn't catch the rest of the conversation – she only noticed that Erwin looked grim – because at that moment, Lavinia landed on the roof beside her. "Mizuki!"

"Lav!" Mizuki smiled, always glad to exchange a few words with her, and especially to see that nothing had happened to her during the expedition. "Listen, I think Commander Erwin just ordered a retreat… Strange, huh? Seems absurd; I must have misunderstood! You don't know anything about it?"

Lavinia pressed her lips together and didn't answer immediately. She approached Mizuki with the caution one would use with a wild animal, ready to bolt at the slightest sudden movement. "Yes," she said slowly. "We have to go back."

Taken aback, Mizuki raised her eyebrows. "But why? We just left!"

Again, Lavinia was silent for a moment. Gently, she placed a hand on her friend's shoulder, and only then dared to whisper, "Mizuki, you need to stay calm now, alright? It seems the titans are moving en masse towards the north."

Mizuki still didn't understand what the problem was.

Seeing her friend lost in confusion, Lavinia lowered her eyes and pressed her fingers into the tender flesh of the shoulder, as if this could alleviate the devastating force of the blow. "Commander Erwin… Commander Erwin fears something might be happening in Trost," she murmured in a shudder. "The same thing that happened at Shiganshina five years ago."

Shiganshina. Five years ago. The gates smashed, titans storming into the city, the slaughter of the population.

Only this time, it would be happening in Trost.

No…

Mizuki's heart stopped.

Jacqueline and Theo were in Trost.

The image of a little head with two black braids sticking out of a titan's fist as it lifted her to its mouth to devour her flashed through her mind.

No, no, no.

Panic engulfed her.

It wasn't fair for Theo to relive that nightmare, or for Jackie to experience it for the first time.

It wasn't fair. Why? Why was such a disaster happening now, with the Survey Corps so far away?

Mizuki struggled to breathe. Lavinia kept talking, her lips moving quickly, but her friend's voice couldn't reach her.

She needed something to calm her, and Lavinia's hand on her shoulder wasn't enough.

She acted on instinct, without planning.

Her desperate eyes searched for Levi.

He was already looking at her.

Their gazes truly met, as they hadn't for the two past months.

It was always like this.

When a challenge or a problem loomed on the horizon, Mizuki and Levi sought comfort and support in each other.

Despite their differences, despite the irreparable rift in their relationship, despite the distance. Despite belonging to different worlds, they kept seeking and finding each other, unable to let go.

Neither of them would admit it, not even now that so much time had passed, yet both – for reasons now well known – knew that they had shared, for an instant, the exact same thought.

A cruel and fascinating new world.

A world where they had met.

A world where they had listened, clashed and finally understood each other. A world where a deep bond, indescribable in words, had formed between them. A world where they had kissed and held each other close.

A world that – though neither of them could yet imagine it at that moment – was about to change forever.

.

.

Arc 1: A world to discover

~ The end ~

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Bonus: How Mizuki caught in the act Amado and Moblit, and Levi saved their date

.

It was a chilly morning at the start of January. Despite the new year being the ideal time for resolutions and plans for self-improvement, Mizuki was busy with a rather familiar activity: serving a punishment. The previous day, Levi had caught her skipping training to read the ending of a book that had captivated her, and he'd punished her by forcing her to accompany him to Trost, where he had errands, as his bag-carrier.

As they walked along the street, Mizuki suddenly stopped in her tracks and, without the slightest warning, shoved the captain into a side alley. "Quick! Or they'll see us!" she whispered by way of explanation.

The only reason Levi allowed himself to be pushed was because he figured Mizuki had just spotted an enemy in the crowd, perhaps the ninja prowling around the walls with a plot against her life.

Once they were hidden in the alley, Mizuki cautiously peeked around the corner to survey the situation. "Thank goodness. That was close! Wow, I didn't expect a chance like this to just fall in our laps… How lucky! Lavinia was right…"

Levi's hand went to the grip of his device, ready to draw his blades and fight at any moment.

"… Moblit and Amado are together! It's their day off; they must be on a date, they're holding hands!"

As Levi grasped the meaning of her words, his mind blanked.

It was so absurd that he couldn't even bring himself to be angry.

Again, that damn urge of hers to meddle in other people's relationships.

"This is our chance! They haven't noticed us, so we can follow them, and…" Mizuki finally turned back to relay her plan to the captain, but he brushed past her in silence, stepping back onto the main street.

"NO, SUNSHINE! That way they'll see us!" Mizuki shouted, far too loudly for someone hoping to remain incognito, as she scrambled, unsuccessfully, to grab him again.

Sure enough, it was her shout that gave them away. Amado recognized her voice despite the noise of the crowd and, quickly pulling his hand away from Moblit's, turned around.

Now that their cover was blown, Mizuki trailed Levi, who had already reached the thoroughly embarrassed pair formed by Amado and Moblit. The captain gave both of them a telling look. "I don't give a damn about what you do on your day off. But I suggest you plan it better. Make sure you steer clear of this troublemaker if you don't want her ruining your plans," he said matter-of-factly before continuing on towards the military supply depot. "Move your ass, brat!"

Mizuki froze on the spot, mouth open and frowning at the sudden failure of her plan. Regaining herself, she pointed a finger at Amado and Moblit and said, "Don't celebrate yet! I'm retreating for now, but this isn't over!" before dashing after Levi.

Amado and Moblit exchanged a long, puzzled look.

"Did you get what's not supposed to be over? What was she babbling about?"

"I don't even know if we've actually been found out or not. What do you think?"

"Good question." Amado sighed, shrugging. "Whenever Mizuki's involved, there's always such a mess that I can never figure out what's happening."

The two continued their date, undisturbed by any further incidents, and soon forgot the encounter. Mizuki's punishment, on the other hand, was tripled, though she never quite understood why it had been made worse.

.

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Notes:

Good evening everyone, as promised, here is the new chapter, the last of the first arc.
I still can't believe I got to the end of the first part... it was really a feat, but I had fun from start to finish.
Thanks to everyone who read the story, supporting Mizuki and her creator up to this point! I hope I've brightened your days with her story and her follies, and that I will be able of still doing so with the sequel. We finally enter canon: in the final moments of the chapter, Eren and Armin had graduated and we see Erwin ordering the retreat because something is happening in Trost. I'm thrilled at the idea of finally reconnecting to the original story! In this regard, I'll start by saying that this is how I'll approach it: I won't describe step by step all the events already wonderfully narrated by Sensei (also because I could only ruin them), so as not to bore you or me while writing. I will simply insert those parts in which Mizuki will intervene or that I consider important for the development of her character/story.
As for the content of the chapter, as anticipated, we witness a lot of textbook shoujo manga drama, spiced up with some erotic notes. Levi behaves a bit like a pig, I admit it (Mizuki too, but to a lesser extent due to her inexperience; I think however that once she gets used to certain matters she will get going too). I had not planned to write certain scenes in that way, that is with Levi being tormented/mocked even in his fantasies; but when I found myself there, I thought: "yeah, but Mizuki here would surely do this or say that", and again "Mizuki would never miss this opportunity to make fun of him" and all in all I tried to remain consistent with her character; the result is known. "How the hell was it possible that that little bitch enjoyed tormenting him even in his erotic dreams?" Sorry, Levi, I fear that you won't have a very relaxing sex life ahahahaha
I tried to describe the best I could the situation of two people who make the painful decision to forget each other, but at the same time are forced to work together and hide their feelings from the world (unfortunately, I really lived an experience like that, and it's not easy at all). Levi and Mizuki try, but they don't succeed; and after two months, they both give up, the chat with Eld and Moblit is just the pretext, what finally convinces them of something they have already understood by themselves, that is, that they cannot stay apart. Unfortunately, however, karma is a bitch. Or maybe the Vice-captain of the Marley warriors is.
What else can I say? That every scene where Jacqueline Tennison is in becomes my favorite, I love that girl. That I inserted a very short final bonus about Amado for the sake of fairness with Loki and to lift the spirits after the end of the chapter. That I feel sorry for Petra, but unfortunately it had to end badly for her sooner or later. Nothing else, I would say. Oh, yeah: poor Ciki and Albi the Second.
Thanks again from the bottom of my heart to everyone. I send you a big kiss.
See you soon!