Walking through the halls of the old castle the Survey Corps were using as a base of operations, Eren Jaeger couldn't help but notice how blue the sky was. He cursed the fact he was on cleaning duty inside the castle today; he'd much rather be out weeding the yard or hell, mucking the stables.
The horses were great company anyway.
"Jaeger!"
Eren froze at the urgent call of his name, ignoring the jolt of anxiety that ran through him as he turned around to face the soldier running towards him. "What is it, Horseface?"
Jean rolled his eyes at the nickname but the uneasy expression adorning his face didn't go away. "The Commander is calling you to his office. Immediately, he said."
"Okay, thanks." Eren nodded, careful not to show any emotion in his voice or on his face despite the way his heart jumped into his throat, beating at a speed that couldn't be healthy, his stomach turning with a sudden burst of anxiety, his vision blurring momentarily.
Ignoring the violent reaction his body gave, Eren sidestepped Jean, not sparing him another glance as he set out in the direction of Commander Erwin's office.
At least, that was his intention, but Jean's hand on his arm stopped him. "Wait. Tell me something. Do you know what this is about?" When Eren didn't say anything, Jean frowned. "You do, don't you? It sounded pretty damn serious. What the hell is going on?"
Eren sighed, looking Jean in the eyes. He was surprised to find genuine worry in the soft browns, but all he could muster in assurance was a crooked, humourless smile.
"Don't worry your tiny horse brain over it. It's going to be either something big, or nothing at all."
Jean frown only deepened at that. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? Hey, Eren! Wait!"
Without another word, Eren simply shook his head before leaving the other soldier standing alone in the hallway, confused and deeply concerned.
Eren could only pray that concern wouldn't be warranted.
Eren closed his eyes as he gathered the courage to knock. He knew there was no way to get out of this and the longer he waited, the worse it would get, but knowing that didn't make it any easier. Didn't make the anxiety go away, didn't untie the knots in his stomach.
Didn't make his hands stop shaking.
Taking a deep breath, Eren opened his eyes, gulping heavily, before he finally gave the door a sharp knock. A call of come in came immediately, making it clear the Commander had been waiting.
Willing his heart to stop beating so loudly, Eren pushed the door open, saluting in greeting while he assessed the situation. Commander Erwin was sitting behind his desk with his hands folded in front of his face, sporting a grave expression. Squad Leader Hanji was standing next to him; she was missing her usual smile and refused to look anywhere near Eren. The last person in the room was Captain Levi, who was sitting in a chair opposite of the Commander with his back towards Eren, his bangs hiding whatever expression he was wearing.
The Commander gestured towards the lone empty chair next to Captain Levi, a silent command which Eren obeyed immediately.
Silence hung over the room as the Commander leaned back in his seat, giving Eren an unreadable look. It took him a long moment to ask, "Eren, do you know why I called you here?"
Eren's eyes momentarily veered towards Hanji, who was still unwilling to look at him, but guilt flashed across her face clearly all the same.
"I have a feeling, sir," Eren replied slowly.
"Hanji has informed me—" the Commander paused, searching Eren's eyes "—that you are… in a certain condition."
"I don't know if I would call being pregnant 'a certain condition' but that is correct."
Erwin's eyebrows shot up as heavy silence descended over the room once more. Eren waited, meeting Erwin's calculating gaze with his own unwavering one.
"So you knew about it," Erwin said with a hint of accusation.
Eren gave his commanding officer a wry, humourless smile. "I am a male omega, sir. Of course I knew."
"And you didn't think to inform anyone?"
"I figured Squad Leader Hanji would find out soon enough."
Erwin sighed. "Your actions—or lack thereof—and manner of speech right now are honestly on the verge of being classified as insubordination."
"I'm sorry, sir, but I am well aware my child's life is at stake here. I think I have every right to be defensive," Eren responded, maybe slightly more aggressively than advised.
"You're right Eren," Hanji interrupted before Erwin could say anything else and probably only aggravate Eren further. "You have the right and it's to be expected. But you are still a soldier talking to your commanding officer so please, do try to keep calm, okay?"
Eren shot her an unimpressed look but said nothing.
Erwin took his silence as a cue to continue. "Alright, Eren. First, who is the other parent and do they know about this?"
Eren looked directly into his Commander's eyes before he firmly stated, "They do know and I'm sorry, but I'm not telling you who they are."
"Since they are aware of the situation, they have to be present, Eren. Otherwise, it will only… complicate things."
"With all due respect, sir, I am not telling you no matter what you say," Eren hissed, baring his teeth in anger.
"Okay!" Hanji interrupted again, then continued in a gentle tone, "You don't have to tell us, Eren. But I think you know where this is going." She paused to take a deep breath and closed her eyes as if she was scared of the words that were about to leave her mouth. "We're going to have to ask you to abort. It would be best for everyone."
Eren flashed his teeth again, a low growl escaping him as he instinctively shifted to shield his stomach. "How. How exactly is that better for us or our child."
"That's…" Hanji turned away, clearly at a loss for words. She looked to Erwin for help but the man ignored her, intently studying Eren instead.
"Moreover," a new voice added, speaking for the first time since Eren arrived, "are you willing to deal with a pissed off alpha when he finds out you killed his child?" Captain Levi's voice sounded a little too calm and emotionless. It was clear didn't like the situation that had somehow come to be and was putting in great effort to keep his voice level.
Erwin raised his hand to show Hanji he'd take it from there, making the researcher sigh in relief. "That's exactly why I asked Eren who the other party was. To minimise the possible damage." He turned to Eren, now speaking in a more placating voice. "Eren, I can only imagine how this makes you feel. I completely understand you don't believe us when we say this, but it really would be for the best of everyone, including the child. You are a titan shifter. Who knows how that ability could affect the baby. Not to mention we would have to halt all experiments, even drastically reduce your normal physical training. Going beyond the Walls would also be out of the question.
"All that is a problem for us in itself, but most importantly, people would notice. In the Corps, as well as in the Capital. Then your stomach will start growing and people will connect the dots. I don't think I have to explain that if the government or the Military Police find out, they will either tell you to abort anyway, or try to kill you and the baby. Worst case, they will take the baby as soon as it's born to use for experiments. And when they are done with that, they'll sell him or her to the highest bidder as a trophy— if your child survives at all. Whichever the case, the child will suffer.
"It wouldn't be the first case of a 'Titan Child'. Terrible things happened to the first such case. But, considering your child would be much more closely connected to the titans than the first one, it would suffer much, much more than even him. None of us here want to see that," Erwin finished in a sad whisper.
By the end of the Commander's speech, silent tears were streaming down Eren's cheeks, although he was more furious than anything. His teeth were bared and he was growling loudly without bothering to hide it, staring at Erwin with that infamous maniacal look in his eyes. He curled around his stomach protectively, clutching at himself desperately, fighting to suppress the trembles brought on by his anger.
"No," he snarled. "No, I won't let that happen. None of those things. I don't want to give up this child either. I don't want anything to happen to them. No."
Hanji, fighting back her own tears, walked over to crouch in front of the young omega, who was by now on the verge of a breakdown. She gently placed her hands on his knees, squeezing them in a soothing gesture. "I know you're angry. Or sad, really, behind all that anger. It's a difficult decision. Probably the most difficult decision you'll ever have to make in your entire life. But you yourself know it's the best way. The safest way for you and your child. I promise you on my life I will put even more effort into my research, Erwin will put more effort into his plans, Levi more effort into slaughtering everything standing between us and victory. We'll all do our absolute best to win this war as soon as we can. And once we win, you can have another baby. And another after that. All the babies you will ever want. But now…" Hanji paused to wipe away her own tears. "Now is just not the right time. You have to be strong this one time."
At that point, Eren could barely see in front of him. His vision was clouded, whether it be the tears or the raw emotions, he didn't know and he didn't care. He was trembling all over, his heartbeat echoing in his own ears. He knew he was still growling but there was a broken whimper stuck in his chest. A pathetic noise of a wounded animal, lost and scared.
He knew what Hanji was saying made sense. He knew what Erwin was saying made sense. Bringing a child into this world, into his world, was the worst thing that he could do to them, but…
It hurt.
It hurt so fucking much.
Yet, the alternative would hurt that much more, wouldn't it?
Letting go of a shaky breath, Eren blinked a few times, trying to clear his vision at least a little. He raised his head, so, so fragile determination in his eyes as he looked at Hanji and nodded the tiniest bit, whispering quietly, "I understand."
Hanji smiled weakly at him, squeezing his knees one more time. She went to hug the boy but before she could so much as touch him, she was stopped by a single, ice-cold word.
"No."
All heads turned to Captain Levi. His head was still angled in a way that no one could read his expression at all.
"Levi?" Erwin questioned, surprise and confusion almost tangible in his voice.
"No. I will not let you people do that. I don't doubt you don't have any fucking idea, living all your life on the surface, but have you ever heard about an omegan abortion?"
Hanji and Erwin looked at each other with identical, puzzled frowns, but Eren simply continued to stare at his Captain without even blinking, his gaze glued to his shielded face.
"Well, now that you mention it… No, I suppose not," Hanji said slowly.
"That's because no one fucking does them on the surface. Why do you think that is? It's definitely not because no omega ever experienced an accidental pregnancy. Or was fucking raped and ended up with unwanted brat. None of that matters, an omega won't ever ask for an abortion and no one forces them to. Even miscarriages are rare. They get the best fucking medical care upside too."
"Is it dangerous? Do you think even with Eren's regeneration it would be too much?" Hanji asked as she chewed on her bottom lip, obviously worried.
Captain Levi snorted, a sound so void of an amusement that it was almost painful to hear. "That's not the problem. I've seen it so many times in the Underground. Pimps forcing their whores to abort because it was inconvenient. Pregnant omegas getting beaten up so bad they miscarried. The abortion or miscarriage itself is the same for an omega as it is for a beta. But for an omega, losing a child absolutely fucking breaks them. They die inside and you can do fuck-all about it. Not even another pregnancy fixes them. They're fucked up for the rest of their shitty, miserable lives."
Something akin to horror flashed over Hanji's face; even Commander Erwin looked unsettled.
Captain Levi ignored them both as he slowly stood up.
Suddenly, the atmosphere in the room shifted, an air of dominance and danger descending upon all people present. The second Levi took his first step towards Eren, Hanji scrambled as far away as she could, her eyes going wide as she stared at her best friend in shock.
As he calmly took his place in front of his charge, the Captain pulled out the dagger he always carried and firmly held it in a reverse grip. Only then did he raise his head to let the whole world see the angry, glowing eyes of an alpha protecting his omega.
Hanji gasped while Erwin took in a sharp breath as they both finally understood the whole picture. Why Eren refused to tell them who the other parent was. How quiet Levi had been ever since the start of the meeting. Why he was so aggressively against the idea of abortion.
"I'll ask you again," Levi growled lowly, taking up a defensive stance, ready to protect against whatever force came after his charge. "Are you willing to deal with a pissed off alpha protecting both his child and mate?"
The silence that followed was heavy, almost oppressively so. None of the people present dared to even move, much less speak, in fear of disturbing the fragile balance.
It took a long, long while before Eren broke the stillness in a quiet but firm voice. "Levi, stop. You're not helping."
"Shut up, Eren," Levi barked, without taking his eyes off of the other two. "I'm protecting you two from making the stupidest decision in the history of these shitty walls."
Eren frowned up at Levi even though he knew the man couldn't see it, but before he could say anything back, Commander Erwin started talking instead.
"He's right, Eren," he said in a calm voice. "It doesn't sound like the wisest decision, after all. I'm sorry for almost forcing you to agree to it."
"What are you going on about, Eyebrows," questioned Levi cautiously, although some of the tension in his body visibly let up at the realisation that he had made his point heard.
Erwin smiled apologetically at the pair. "What you said changes the situation drastically. It never occurred to me that abortion could have such dire consequences but since that is the case, it can't even be considered an option. Humanity needs Eren in the best shape we can possibly have him. Again, I'm sorry for not taking Eren's mental health into consideration."
At that, Levi finally relaxed completely, putting his dagger away once more. However, instead of sitting back in his seat, he grabbed the chair and put it as close to Eren's as possible, refusing to keep his distance anymore. He flopped back into it, crossing his legs before he reached out for his mate's hand to hold it firmly in his own.
Or he tried to.
The second his fingers touched Eren's skin, the omega jumped at the wet, slimy feeling. When he looked down at their interlocked hands, his eyes went wide with horror.
Blood.
There was blood all over Levi's hand.
Quickly prying his own hand out of the vice grip Levi had on it, Eren turned his mate's hand over to look at his palm. It was bleeding, four small cuts in the shape of human nails at the source. As if Levi had been clenching his fists so hard that he broke the skin.
Eren gulped, looking up at Levi in disbelief. "Levi, you—"
"It's nothing," Levi dismissed him, simply going to grab his hand again.
The omega didn't know what to say. Should he scold him for hurting himself? Or thank him for protecting him and their child? Should he ask for assurance, seek comfort? Should he give assurance and comfort?
But then, as Hanji muttered something about a first-aid kit and ran off, Eren was reminded that they still had other, bigger problems to focus on. So, he simply opted to shoot Levi one last unhappy look, before he turned back to Commander Erwin to ask the question burning at the tip of his tongue.
"So, do we—do we get to keep the baby?" He clutched Levi's hand in a death grip, momentarily forgetting his mate's injury. Levi squeezed his right back.
Erwin gave them a contemplative look, taking a few moments to give his final answer. "I don't see any other option since your full control of your titan is essential to us. So yes, you get to keep the baby."
Eren sighed in relief, slumping in his seat until his forehead touched his knees. He almost burst into tears again.
"But," Erwin continued firmly, "some extreme measures will have to be taken. Absolutely no one outside the Survey Corps can know about this. Don't tell a single soul for now. I'll have to think about how we'll proceed and then we'll talk. Think very, very carefully about who you can trust with your— all three of your—lives in the meantime."
He was interrupted by a knock on the door, Hanji slipping back inside a second later with a first-aid kit in tow. For a moment, the three of them watched in silence as Hanji kneeled down in front of Levi and started cleaning and disinfecting both of his palms, before Erwin directed his next question at her.
"Hanji, how long do you think we can hide Eren is pregnant?"
Hanji tilted her head in thought without ceasing her work. "You mean visually, or with his training and experiments and stuff?"
"Visually. The rest we can probably work around with some difficulty."
Hanji ran her eyes up and down Eren's form, although Eren had no idea what she could possibly read from that. "Hard to say. Usually, male omegas don't show much, especially if they have some muscles on them, so the odds should be on our side. If we're lucky, Eren might show so little you won't notice unless you're looking for it even close to birth. But we might not be lucky and it will become obvious a few months in."
"So, we have a few months before potentially getting a heads up if it's not in our favor?"
"That's about it, yes."
"Thank you. Hanji, I want you to give Eren a full, detailed checkup and I want an estimate of what I can expect in what time frame by next week. I expect you all here on Monday at the same time to discuss our options. You're dismissed after Hanji's done with Levi."
"Yes, sir," the three of them replied in unison, Eren being the only one who bothered to stand up and salute.
It took Hanji only a few more minutes to fasten the bandages on Levi's hands, after which they all started filing out.
But, before they even reached the door, Erwin called out, "Levi, Eren, wait a second."
The two of them paused, turning back to look at the Commander. Out of the corner of his eyes, Eren could see Hanji throwing a quick glance over her shoulder before she left without another word.
Erwin waited until the door closed behind the Squad Leader before he gave the remaining two a warm smile, catching Eren completely off-guard.
"The two of you, take the rest of the day off. You both look like you need it."
Eren opened his mouth to protest but before he could do so, Erwin continued, "And, putting aside just how bad this whole situation is, congratulations."
Eren shut his mouth, gulping heavily. He didn't know what to say, what to do with himself. "Th—Thank you, sir," he stumbled over his words, blushing a little as he bowed his head bashfully. "For everything."
"You're welcome, Eren."
Giving the Commander a small smile of his own, Eren then made quick eye contact with Levi, the two of them coming to an understanding practically immediately. With one final salute, Eren excused himself, leaving Levi and Erwin alone.
Levi lingered a minute longer, simply staring at his friend and superior officer without a word, only mumbling a quick thanks of his own once he finally turned away to leave as well.
Erwin laughed easily. "We're having a nice, long talk about responsibility and regulations later."
"Fuck off." Levi shot back with an amused huff, allowing himself a small, relieved smile.
Everything was alright. At least, for now.