Hi, everyone! Sorry for the super short update, but wanted to post something before I leave on vacation. Next post will probably be in about 3 weeks (hopefully) as I won't be able to write for 2 of those. I'll post again as soon as I can! Hope you all like this bit- it's very angsty.

I stared off the balcony, looking at the city below, a light breeze rustling my hair. I knew I should be in bed—that's where Tony had sent me. But this was one of the ways I'd noticed we were alike: neither of us could sleep after a hard day. That's why he had also ignored bed, heading to his workshop instead. While I had waited just long enough for him to become absorbed into whatever he was doing there, before leaving my room and coming out here.

I thought back to what had happened at Uncle Bucky's apartment. My lips twitched a little as I thought of how I'd gotten my two family members to give their grudging acceptance to a truce—to trying to move on. My smile fell as I thought about everything that had preceded that, everything I'd learned about the Winter Soldier and Uncle Bucky.

I'd urged the two of them to try to find a way beyond their conflict. I'd pushed for honesty and sharing of feelings. For teamwork. For forgiveness.

It was hypocrisy at its finest, as I stood here now, knowing I'd lied. I'd said that nothing had changed except my perspective of the situation. That it didn't change how I saw Uncle Bucky. Except it had. How could I possibly look at him the same? How could I look at Steve Rogers the same? Knowing that together, the two super soldiers, two enhanced human beings, had taken on my father. Had beaten him down. Had attacked his arc reactor KNOWING that he had heart problems.

I'd told my father to forgive. Yet, as I looked out at the unending blinking lights of the city, I bitterly wondered if I would ever be able to forgive them.

I'd almost lost my father before ever having him. After losing my mom, I would have gone looking for Tony Stark only to find out I was probably an orphan. I would have lost out on the still-growing relationship between us. On getting to better find out who I was. I would never have learned about Uncle Bucky still being around, but at least I'd already known he was and his place in my family.

I didn't care about the Winter Soldier side of things too much, my initial reaction to that was pretty much the same. That it hadn't been Uncle Bucky, that it hadn't been his choice. He'd just been an extension of Hydra. Even for the assassination of my grandparents.

But it hadn't been the Winter Soldier in Siberia. It had just been Bucky. And the oh-so-great, national hero, Captain America. I scowled down at my arms as they rested on the railing. It made things a lot more complicated when it was the version of him that I cared about, versus my father, whom I also cared about. And what made it even harder, was that I could sort of understand both sides.

Tony had been hurt and angry at not only learning that his parents had been directly assassinated by someone he was now somewhat working with—but also that someone he'd been closely working with, Captain America, had known and kept it a secret. Naturally, Tony had lashed out. And if he hadn't been Iron Man, he might have gotten a few good punches at Uncle Bucky, before Uncle Bucky put a stop to it, or maybe he would have even let him punch away until he got tired. Steve would never have even needed to involve himself. Or if Uncle Bucky wasn't a super soldier, it would have just been a normal fistfight.

But my father was Iron Man, and he'd been very determined and out for blood. Naturally, Uncle Bucky would want to defend himself. It had become a bit of a there-can-only-be-one-winner situation. Naturally Steve had defended his friend. And if Tony wouldn't stand down, and they couldn't stand down… couldn't even just walk away…then had they really had any other choice but to beat him as soundly as they did, to destroy his suit's power source?

Two super soldiers versus one technologically enhanced human. Did that make it an even fight? Or had one of those sides been an uneven match for the other? If so, who had actually been stronger, who had been the underdog?

My brow furrowed. Even if they had had to destroy the arc reactor to be able to get themselves out of there alive, there was absolutely no valid reason for why they had to just abandon him there to die. They'd beaten him, hurt him so much that he couldn't have fought anymore even though he'd wanted to. He posed no further threat to them, they could have brought him home. Not leaving without knowing whether my father would make it out alive or not.

That was the hardest part. The part that I couldn't rationalize my way around no matter how hard I tried.

If only the fight hadn't even started in the first place, or even if it happened somewhere else where others might have been able to help control the situation…

Except Steve had kept it a secret, had created the opportunity for Zemo to use the truth as a weapon.

If Steve had been as upright as Captain America claimed to be, my father would never have almost died. Would never have almost been killed.

"Hey, kid, isn't it past your bedtime?" Steve's voice rang from behind me.

I stiffened. Think of the Devil. My hands clenched into fists. "Go. Away."

"Listen, I know this must be hard for you, but it was a tough situation, and I wanted to make sure you know, that even if it may feel like it, you don't have to pick a side—"

My nails were digging into my palms and I whirled around, "Do NOT lecture me, Mr. PSA," my voice dripping with venom as I glared at him, "You do NOT need to tell me how I'm feeling, or what I do or do not need to do. You sure as HELL, don't need to try and deescalate the situation to me or try to convince me neither Tony or Uncle Bucky is at fault, that 'it was a tough situation'," I spat his words back at him, his eyes widening as he took a step back, "I understand where everyone stands. I know that neither of them is at fault," I looked him straight in the eyes, "because I know that it is all YOUR fault."

"Now wait a minute—"

"No." And I pushed past him, crossing the room and entering the private quarters, the door resoundingly slamming shut behind me.