A/N: EDIT: I know this is a parody story, but even so I was hoping this would get some good feedback and some laughs after all the time Dark and I spent working on it ...
... but apparently that isn't the case. I was planning on making this weekly to...T_T
Every review truly does help, large or small, any feedback is better than nothing at all.
Switching things up a little this week since Long May He Reign updated on Tuesday. Normal update schedule will resume forthwith.
I'm just a humble author trying to make his way in this wild, wacky, warped world, and stay alive, one word at a time. As ever, I own no references, quotes, themes or memes. Not a wit or a one. A humble writer am I.
Writing a parody story like this really lets us go bonkers. Hope you enjoy the madness!This is meant to make ya'll smile and laugh. Let's have a MAD time~!
Last, but not least, a reminder: Naruto has only been on Remnant for a year, as stated by the Brother Gods. We all know he he's not the sort to sit idly by; quite the opposite! As a result of that, this chapter got a little more bonkers than I intended, but it remains a parody through and through. May the sweet, glorious chaos within make you smile! Let chaos take the world!
There's a tribute here to an old cartoon from my youth in this chapter, one that could only be done here, in a parody story.
Lets see if you recognize it, yessss...
"Why do you laugh?
Of course I laugh...I'm in the middle of something terribly entertaining.
At times like these, people tend to laugh, get angry, or cry, don't they? Isn't that what being human means?
You know, even I laugh and get angry sometimes; such is what it means to be mortal.
And the funny thing about us mortals...
...we're just FULL of surprises~!
~Envoy of the Gods.
Learn Your Lesson
Naruto dropped a bomb on Cinder the next morning.
"You'll be attending school starting today."
Cinder hissed. Loudly.
"…It's only your first day, don't worry—"
HSSSSSSSSSS!
The sound rattled through the room like an aggressive tea kettle reaching its boiling point. Papers flew. A passing bird outside the window panicked and crash-landed into a bush.
Doomed.
Doomed was she.
Doomed forever would she be!
"You're not a cat Faunus. Stop that," her owner sighed, rubbing his temples.
Tyrian -she still refused to call that madman brother- tittered as he tucked into his breakfast. "Could've fooled me...
Cinder, still crouched on the table, pupils narrowed into slits, shrank back like a frightened alley cat cornered by a broom. Her eyes darted around the room, scanning for an escape route. Upon failing to find one, the small girl
"Can't I just learn from you?" she tried, her voice as sweet as honey but dripping with sheer desperation.
"You can," he admitted, tapping a finger against the table. "But you should be with people your own age. It'll be good for you."
Good, he said. Sure. There was just one problem.
Her face twitched. Her fists clenched.
She couldn't read or write.
Of course she couldn't; she was just a child after all, one whose entire life had been confined to a small spit of land in Mistral, trapped in that awful orphanage.
That didn't mean she was unwilling to learn per se; she was prepared to spend years perfecting the art of stealth, deception, and destruction. She would happily learn how steal from a noble's treasury in the dead of night without making a sound. She wanted to know how to dismantle a man's life with a single, well-placed lie. Anything that could help her fight, survive, thrive…
But she had never learned to read.
She didn't dare say that aloud for fear of shaming herself further.
Naruto noticed, damn him. "You DO know how to read and write, don't you?"
he declared with an air of finality.
Huffing, she scoffed, crossing her arms and looking away with a haughty, self-important air. "Tch. Reading and writing… how hard could it be?"
"…Do you even know how to write your own name?"
Cinder's eye twitched. "…OF COURSE, I DO!"
"Okay. Do it."
A single piece of paper was placed before her, followed by a pen.
Cinder stared at it.
The paper stared back.
Sweat gathered at her temple.
Minutes passed. Agonizing, soul-crushing minutes.
She reached for the pen with the grace of a bomb being defused. Her hand hovered. Lowered. Stopped.
Then—in one swift, decisive movement—she snatched the paper, stuffed it into her mouth, and began to chew.
Naruto sprang to his feet, utterly dismayed. "What're you doing?!"
"CAN'T WRITE IF PAPER IS DESTROYED!" she shot back, her cheeks stuffed full like a squirrel caught stealing from a royal banquet.
Tyrian toppled out of his chair with a merry cackle, the older boy's legs kicking wildly. "I like her!"
"You—" Naruto buried his face in his hands. "You absolute menace...
Cinder glared at her "father" defiantly and swallowed.
Naruto stared right back at her.
Someone had to break.
Eventually, one did.
(.0.0.0.)
School sucked.
Cinder had known that the moment she set foot inside.
Scary, scary, scary!
Her heart pounded like war drums, slamming against her ribcage so hard she thought it might just launch itself out her throat and roll down the hallway.
But that wasn't even the worst part.
Atlas Academy was ugly.
Cinder could say that with absolute confidence, as though she were a world-renowned architectural critic instead of a terrified little girl trying to suppress a full-blown panic attack. Nevermind the icky feeling of paper in her belly; compared to Naruto's colorful, messy, lively home—this place was a prison.
Cold.
Empty.
Emotionless.
Like someone had designed a building but forgotten to give it a soul. White walls. Grey halls. Dark blue banners. Long, winding corridors stretched like a maze designed to slowly drain the will to live. The uniforms were little better. White long-sleeved shirts. Grey pocket-vests. Stockings. Boots. A stupid little black beret that ITCHED LIKE IT HAD BEEN WOVEN FROM A MILLION NEEDLES.
Cinder could already feel her dignity dying.
And worst of all…
...it was her own fault she was here.
In short order she found herself sat crammed into one two rows of twenty-five along the wooden table in the lecturing hall. Others higher seats were no doubt occupied by students of higher rand and older years, but even their outfits were drab and devoid of color.
That settled it. Cinder REALLY didn't like Atlas Academy.
She should have told him; should have swallowed her pride and admitted that she couldn't write. Maybe then he could've at least taught her something before sending her to face her doom.
But no. Cinder Fall never admits weakness. And now she was here.
Completely, utterly, hopelessly illiterate.
Cinder stared at the board before her - bunch of squiggles and nonsense.
She stared at the book in front of her.
More squiggles. More nonsense.
She could feel it. The walls closing in. The existential despair creeping up her spine.
And Then Came the Lesson…
Numbers?
Gibberish.
Letters?
Absolute nonsense.
Reading?
A cruel and unusual punishment invented solely to make her look stupid.
Cinder tried to comprehend it all. She really did. She squinted at the board, willing the symbols to make sense. She glanced at her book, turning it slightly as if the words might magically unscramble themselves if she held it at a different angle.
They did not.
And the worst part?
That was yet to come.
Because sitting at the front of the classroom…
Was her.
Winter Schnee.
Cinder immediately disliked her on principle. Maybe it was the perfectly knotted tie, the flawless way she carried her books, or the air of smug superiority that oozed from every fiber of her being. Or maybe—just maybe—it was the way Winter took one look at her, wrinkled her nose like she had just smelled something unpleasant, and scoffed.
In conclusion, Winter was everything she wasn't.
Poised. Confident. Smug as hell.
That was it. This was war.
She sat perfectly straight, perfect little hands folded, answering every question the teacher asked as if she were the one running the class. She was one of THOSE girls; she knew them well; the teacher's pet, the kind that snitched to the matrons back in the orphanage in return for favors, the sort that just HAD to be better than anyone else. They could smell weakness.
She was a guppy in an ocean. Winter was the shark. And there was blood in the water.
The Schnee knew she couldn't read.
Cinder could feel it. That insufferable, holier-than-thou aura radiating from her seat like she was basking in her own intellectual superiority.
The final straw came when Winter leaned over, peeked at the indecipherable mess in Cinder's book, and whispered—
"Oh dear. Do you need help? I can read this to you if you want."
Cinder hissed at her. "I don't need your help."
Her eyes went lidded. "Is that so...?"
"Miss Fall?" the teacher tapped the blackboard suddenly, distracting her. "Can you read the first line of this passage?"
Winter's eyes snapped toward her.
Cinder stared at the book.
Her soul left her body.
PANIC. PANIC. PANIC.
"...No," she muttered, feeling her pride wither away like a leaf caught in a storm, tumbling into the void.
A murmur passed through the class. Someone might've laughed. She never knew who.
Winter's lips twitched into something almost a smirk.
"Teacher, should I help her?" She asked, voice laced with sugar-coated condescension.
Cinder's eye twitched. Help?! From her?! Never!
And then—she had an idea.
Mad, desperate, reckless.
...and her only hope.
Naruto had mentioned that he taught privately at the Academy on occasion when he wasn't out fielding missions; that some of his work involved the Schnee family. Which meant he'd taught Winter. Which meant...!
She sat up straight, cleared her throat, and looked Winter dead in the eyes. "Who are you supposed to be?"
Winter's entire face froze. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me," Cinder continued, flipping her hair with all the grace of someone desperately clinging to their last shred of dignity. "My teacher would never take on another student."
"Teacher?" Winter blinked. Confusion flashed across her face, but only briefly before she scoffed. "You mean Specialist Uzumaki? Impossible. I am his only student."
Cinder grinned, eyes gleaming with mischief.
"I'm not his student," she declared, savoring the moment. "I'm his daughter."
DEAD SILENCE.
Winter visibly malfunctioned.
The classroom collectively gasped. A student dropped their pen. The teacher almost swallowed their chalk. Meanwhile, little miss perfect had gone so pale she could've been mistaken for a ghost. Cinder basked in it all and allowed a single victorious giggle to slip past her lips.
Mission accomplished~!
Winter bristled instantly.
And thus, in that very moment—
A bitter, unspoken rivalry was born.
Winter's arms crossed. Her back straightened. She tilted her head just slightly—not enough to be outright insulting, but just enough to let Cinder know she was being judged.
"You're lying, churl." she retorted, tone laced with aristocratic dismissal as she threw her own words back into her face. "My mentor may have a son, but he has no daughter to speak of, let alone a pitiful wretch such as yourself."
Churl?
Cinder had no idea what that meant, yet it sounded like an insult. It was an insult, right? Why did she have to use such fancy talk?
Sure, she might not know her words and numbers, but she knew this game all too well.
She grinned, baring her teeth like a wild animal backed into a corner but absolutely ready to bite.
"You're right, he didn't." Cinder declared with the confidence of a con-artist pulling off the biggest scam of her life, "He didn't."
She gave Winter a moment to think she'd won, an instant in which she would lower her guard.
Then he leaned forward, voice dripping with undeniable, unshakable audacity—
"Until he adopted me."
BOOM.
Winter's face went white—like, actually white. Not normal, human, healthy white. No. Ghost-white. Paper-white. "I just saw a spirit from the afterlife" white.
A stunned silence settled over the room. Cinder clasped both hands behind her head and savored it, happy to have the spotlight off her.
Oh, this was fun.
And then Winter's face went red.
Some say children know how to hurt us the worst; and they do. The Schnee went right for her throat in the worst way possible.
"You...!" The sullen Schnee sputtered, but only for a moment. "You're nothing! No one! You're uncouth, undisciplined, untrained, can't even read or write, and your hair's a mess! Who could possibly want you?!"
Now it was Cinder's turn to recoil. Winter's words stung worse than any slap, cut deeper than any sword, struck her right in the insecurity. A punch would've hurt less.
Cinder reacted accordingly.
CRACK.
A sickening pop filled the air.
Something broke in her fist but she didn't care; because winter staggered back, hands clutching her nose as crimson dripped down onto her perfectly pressed uniform. She sniffled, but that only resulted in yet more blood pouring down the front of her tunic.
"THAT'S NOT FAIR!" she wailed. "I DIDN'T HAVE MY AURA UP IN TIME!"
Cinder blinked. "Aura? The hell is that?"
Winter froze.
Her face went through five different emotions in the span of two seconds as her entire worldview shattered.
"YOU… YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE YOUR AURA UNLOCKED?!"
Cinder raised her fist. "Then I'll punch through yours!"
Winter, still clutching her nose, declared vengeance upon Cinder's entire bloodline. Cinder, standing on the tips of her toes to glare up at her taller opponent, threw down a challenge to fight to the death (or at least until lunch break) which in turn resulted in the following. Winter dove on her.
Cue the chaos.
Cue the screaming.
Cue the absolute legendary spat that followed.
Tables were nearly flipped. Students hid under their desks for safety. The fallen were left where they lay.
Chaos seized the class.
(.0.0.0.)
Naruto's scroll rang, heralding trouble.
He paused. Blinked.
Sighed, now.
A deep, soul-weary sigh that spoke of years of suffering, patience stretched thin, and the knowledge that whatever was on the other end of that call would bring him nothing but pain. He stared at the ringing device in his hand, weighing his options. Answer it… or throw it into the abyss and pretend he never saw it?
The ringing continued unabated, growing louder with each passing moment.
He knew he had no choice.
With the grim determination of a man facing his execution, he swiped the screen and brought the scroll to his ear.
"What happened this time?"
Ironwood's voice, clipped and tired, came through immediately.
"Naruto. I have three problems. One of them is Cinder. Another is Winter."
Naruto rubbed his temples. "You're gonna have to be more specific."
Ironwood exhaled sharply.
"They started with detention," he began, "which escalated into a broom duel."
Naruto nodded. "Sounds about right."
"Which somehow evolved into a full-contact mop battle in the training hall."
"Yup, still checks out."
"Then Cinder locked Winter in the supply closet."
Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose. "And how did that go?"
"Winter broke out by launching herself through the door using a mop handle as leverage."
Naruto muttered a curse under his breath. "Of course she did."
"Then," Ironwood continued, voice strained, "Cinder retaliated by setting up a tripwire using wet rags. Winter, not to be outdone, countered by coating the floor in soap to neutralize Cinder's movement."
Naruto buried his face in his hands. "And then?"
"Then the cafeteria got involved."
Naruto's head snapped up.
"…The cafeteria?"
A heavy silence.
"…Naruto, there was a food fight."
He inhaled slowly. "Please tell me you're joking."
"Winter weaponized a tray as a shield. Cinder dual-wielded baguettes like they were swords. The janitorial staff has called for my resignation."
Naruto stared at the floor. He was a man of many battles. He had fought gods. He had faced world-ending calamities.
But nothing… nothing had prepared him for this.
"Why am I not surprised-wait." An awful thought occurred to him. "You said there were three problems. What's the third?"
His old friend heaved a sigh of his own. "Who do you think?"
"What did Tyrian do...?"
(.0.0.0.)
"Tyrian again?"
Naruto's voice was calm—too calm. The kind of calm that made people nervous.
The teacher standing before him winced and nodded clumsily. "Y-Yes, sir..."
...that will be all. I'll take it from here."
Credit where it was due, the boy didn't budge from the bench; didn't raise his gaze, didn't move at all. The stinger of his tail twitched as he heard his footsteps draw closer, but he kept his hands together, gaze affixed upon the metal flooring. There wasn't so much as a scratch to be seen on him. He took some small, petty pride in that.
Naruto sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Show me your hand."
Tyrian flinched. Just a bit. Barely noticeable.
But Naruto noticed.
"Tyrian."
Reluctantly, the boy obeyed, slowly unclenching his fingers to reveal bloody, bruised knuckles. The skin was raw, split in places, fresh cuts staining his tiny fists.
He couldn't help himself; he was just a boy, after all.
His caretaker—his father—crouched before him, taking a moment to inspect the damage. He didn't scold him. Didn't lecture him. Didn't threaten to throw him out like the people in the Bad Place used to. Instead, Naruto released a breathy sigh, shaking his head before pulling out a roll of bandages with the infinite patience of a man who had done this many times before.
Tyrian fidgeted as Naruto carefully wrapped his hand. He could have healed him—Tyrian had seen that strange golden glow before.
But he didn't.
Probably because they weren't alone.
The boy bit his lip. "...Aren't you angry?"
Naruto finally looked up, blue eyes calm and steady. "Should I be?"
Tyrian scuffed a boot against the ground. "Maybe...?"
Honestly, he wanted Naruto to be mad. Because anything was better than this. The silence. The patience. The fact that Naruto never seemed to get angry at all.
"Wanna tell me why you punched their lights out?"
The anger came back immediately.
Hate.
Something dark and ugly rose within him; the dark feral anger he worked so hard to suppress. Not for the man before him, no but of these who dared speak ill of his lord and master his savior and protector, the divine being who had saved him from the Bad Place when no one else would. Anyone who would scorn such a being deserved death!
Tyrian kicked his knee against the bench, fists clenching again. "The other kids said terrible things about you! They called you a coward and a weakling! A failure! A traitor to Atlas!"
Naruto tilted his head, whiskered cheeks dimpling in a small, knowing smile. "Are any of those things true?"
The faunus winced.
He stared at the white Specialist's coat Naruto always wore, the symbol of Atlas pinned neatly to the chest.
"...Well, no..."
Because his dad was awesome. He was one of the best Specialists in Atlas. People whispered that he might even become General someday.
Tyrian didn't care about that; all he cared about was the fact that Naruto had saved him. That he had taken him out of the Bad Place.
Naruto nodded, satisfied. "There you have it, then. You're my son. My son doesn't stab people."
Tyrian squirmed. "...So you're not mad?"
"Not as such." The whiskered warrior chuckled, rolling up the bandages. "You gave the kid a black eye, so I'm sure he's learned his lesson. I would've been angrier if you stabbed that boy with your tail."
Tyrian froze; his whole body tensed, like an animal caught mid-pounce.
Because he had wanted to.
He could still feel it—the rush. The heat.
It had felt good knocking those bullies down. He had felt strong when he saw them cower.
Naruto's eyes darkened.
"Tyrian, no." His voice was firm, not angry—but unshakable in his conviction as he repeated his earlier statement. "You're my son. My son doesn't stab people."
The rebuke still stung and the boy hiccuped, eyes darting down in shame. "Okay..."
For some reason, that shame seemed to sadden his divine savior.
"Look," he sighed at length, "I'm not saying you shouldn't be angry for my sake; on the contrary, I'm actually kinda happy you feel that way. "
Tyrian's head shot up, eyes wide. "You are?"
"Yup." A scarred hand tousled his brown hair with lazy affection. "Knowing you care enough about me to throw down with complete strangers for my sake? The means something." This time, there could be no mistaking the preening parental pride in his gaze. "I know you could have killed them; that it would've been easy for you. But you didn't do it. And that warms my old heart."
He laughed a little at that; a nervous giggle escaping him despite his own anxiety. "You're not that old...
Naruto -Dad!- chuckled ruefully and took his hand from his head. "Feels like it, sometimes. What I'm trying to say is this. Its alright to care; in fact, caring is a very good thing. It means you value the bond between us; an' there's a chance that you might establish other bonds in the future as well. That, little scorpion, is a very good thing."
He sulked. "But no killing."
"But you kill people all the tiime."
"Not where children are involved, I don't." a finger booped his nose firmly. "If you find yourself fighting a Grimm? Stab away. A crazed criminal that you're certain they can't be saved? Beat them down. Some psychopath who delights in death and destruction? Off with their head! Just remember. "There are worse things than death.
Tyrian tilted his head, rather liking where this was going. "Such as...?"
"Humiliation, for one." his adopted father took his finger away, holding it in the air as he delved into a lecture. "A dead enemy will only serve you once, but a terrified enemy is a gift that keeps on giving; because folks will see that fear and wonder what caused it; then it'll spread to others in return. Here, lemme tell you about this mission Jane and I ran once against some nutjobs in Mantle; we had them jumping at their own shadows for weeks-
Tyrian liked Miss Jane. She understood him. The people who could were few and far between.
Father's scroll vibrated at the very moment; a merry jingle demanding his attention.
Naruto glanced at the device, saw the Caller ID and quickly silenced it.
Tyrian grinned, quietly delighted. "Was that miss Jane?"
Father whistled innocently. "Perhaps."
"She calls you a lot lately...
Naruto coughed into a fist, cheeks red. "That's neither here nor there. Do you understand the point I'm trying to make here, Tyrian?"
Tyrian tilted his head in a manner he hoped conveyed understanding. "Do as I say, not as I do?"
Dad snapped his fingers together. "Exactly. Get it."
His head bobbed. "I think so."
Oh, yes. He understood perfectly.
After all, Dad wasn't from the Bad Place but Another Place. He'd figured it out a long time ago. He could do so many things that an ordinary Huntsmen couldn't; used all kinds of weird techniques, appeared in multiple places at once; why, sometimes it even seemed like he could see the future itself; like he knew where to be before trouble happened, or better yet, where it would happen. He always had plans within his plans, always always looked underneath the underneath and always always always outsmarted the bad guys.
There could be only one answer for this.
A single clear-cut answer.
Father was a God.
Maybe one of the Brothers, maybe not, it didn't matter. Nothing else made sense. Truly, he and Cinder were blessed by his love, even if he kept most of his powers hidden for some reason. He could've smote all the foolish unbelievers; instead he chose to play at being human and adopt them -adopt them all!- like a good father should.
But that was alright; Tyrian was good at keeping secrets; he wouldn't tell a soul.
And so the misunderstanding persisted.
Dad patted his head. "Good boy."
The warmth in Naruto's tone made something tighten in Tyrian's chest. Was this what it felt like to have a proper parent? Cinder was a fool to scorn it in her skittishness. She'd come around in due time; that or she'd be brought around by force. No other outcome would be accepted.
"...Now then, what do you want for dinner?"
He perked up instantly. "Pizza!"
"Not spaghetti?" Naruto teased. "Your sister will be disappointed."
Tyrian huffed. "Cinder wants that every day!"
Naruto laughed and stood, ruffling his hair before taking ahold of his hand. "Fair enough. Pizza it is, then."
And for a moment—just a moment—Tyrian forgot about the fight, the bullies, and the anger.
Everything was okay.
Until—
An intercom chimed above them.
"Would Specialist Uzumaki please come to the Headmaster's office? I repeat, would Specialist Uzumaki please come to the Headmaster's office?"
Naruto froze. "Riiiiiiiight, I almost forgot about that other problem.
Tyrian followed his gaze and shrugged innocently.
"Wasn't me~!"
(.0.0.0.)
Several minutes later—Naruto arrived.
Arms crossed and expression exhausted; he wore the look of a man who had seen too much. By the time he stepped into the office, Ironwood was already looming large over Cinder and Winder both, chewing both out in the background like a disappointed father. Which, he supposed was possible. James might be gruff at times, but he genuinely considered all the students and staff at the Academy his family. The man was loyal like that, stoic and steadfast in his devotion to Atlas.
A shame the same couldn't be said for his charges at the moment.
Winter was still sniffling, nose red and swollen.
Cinder stood defiant, refusing to regret a single thing.
Neither noticed him -nor his sigh!- as he stood there, face carved from stone in the doorway, watching the two most unruly gremlins in all of Atlas glare daggers at each other from opposite sides of the room.
Winter Schnee, battle-scarred (from a single punch) but unbroken.
Cinder Fall, victorious (but stuck in detention).
Each had their arms crossed.
Each refused to sit anywhere near each other.
Each radiated so much unfiltered rage that the room practically crackled with tension.
Ironwood stood at the front of the room, his hands behind his back, stern as ever.
"You two will remain here until you learn to get along," he declared, voice calm but firm. "Am I understood?"
Cinder and Winter immediately began shouting and pointing at each other.
"IT WAS HER FAULT!" they yelled in perfect synchronization.
Ironwood pinched the bridge of his nose.
"You're cleaning the training hall," he decided, ignoring their protests. "No one leaves until it's spotless. Understood?"
Cinder and Winter scowled at each other.
Neither was willing to admit defeat.
But deep down… they both knew.
This was war.
For his part, Naruto was content to linger in the shadows for awhile longer, if only to see whether or not they would make up...eventually. With Tyrian waiting happily in the hall outside, there was no need to reveal himself just yet. James seemed to be at least tangentially aware of him given his instincts, but Cinder and Winter remained blisfully ignorant of his concealed presence. Sometimes it paid to be a shinobi. He didn't often have an excuse to utilize his stealth skills outside of combat. Maybe he ought to use these more often. He smiled a little as he considered scaring them.
It was not to be.
The door swept open behind him, rattling against its hinges as someone barged through, subsequently forcing him to step away and dodge inside lest he be bowled over completely. It was an easy matter to maintain his jutsu, but judging from the noise, he was almost certain he'd been noticed.
And just when he didn't think things could get any worse.
"What is the meaning of this?!"
It did.
He was only mildly surprised to find Jacques Schnee storming inside; moreso that the man cared enough to show his face here. Wasn't he busy trying to ruin lives and firing hundreds of faunus before breakfast? Hands swinging restlessly at his sides and white mustache aquiver atop his lips, he stalked forward, swearing as he he went.
"You have some nerve dragging me down here, you insolent wretch!"
Ironwood was quite immune to his vitriol, even Cinder to a lesser extent; if only because she simply didn't care who he was.
Winter wasn't so fortunate.
She wilted under his works, visibly shrinking in her seat.
Jacques didn't relent for a moment, practically frothing in his frivolous fury.
"You disgrace yourself, daughter! Your behavior has stained the Schnee name! What do you have to say for yourself?!"
Ahhh. It all made a twisted sorta sense now. Of course he didn't care about family. He'd been foolish to think so. Which meant he hadn't come down here to support his daughter at all, for another far more sinister reason. It was only ever about reputation with the Schnee patriarch, the prestige, the pride, the glory of having an impeccable daughter. Winter had brought all that crashing down with her little tantrum; her spat against Cinder would probably be all over the news by tomorrow, assuming it wasn't already.
Paparazzi loved a scandal.
Winter bridled like the surly child she still was and tried to defend herself against what she saw as unfair treatment. "But Father, she started-
He struck her across the face before she could get her aura up. "You will speak when spoken to! Not before."
James burst to his feet. "Jacques! You're out of line!"
The mad mogul scoffed. "Am I? I've half a mind to haul her out of here by the ear for all the trouble she's caused me...!"
Right, then. He'd hidden long enough.
Schooling his face into am impassive facade to mask the murderous intent beneath, he canceled the jutsu With a subtle pulse of chakra and allowed himself to be seen, stepping forward as he did.
"I believe you've made your point."
Cinder perked up. "Dad?"
Winter jolted. "Sir...?"
"Who...?" Jacques noticed him about it later and bridled, puffing his chest out like some grumpy grouse to make himself seem more of a threat. "Ah. Uzumaki." his mouth curled in a derisive sneer. "I didn't see you there." he looked to Cinder and the sneer deepened. "I thought that might've been your brat int he hallway. I wasn't aware you had taken on another...urchin. Surely this won't distract from your duties...?"
Cinder hissed. "Asshole...
"I beg you pardon?!"
Naruto patted her head, pushed her gaze down and likewise forced himself to smile. "I'll handle it."
"Good." he looked to his daughter, noting the bruise he'd given her as one might an annoying gnat. "Winter is clearly in need of better training. You'll see it done, I trust."
If looks could kill Jacques will be so much on the floor. He imagined it for a moment, exhaling a plume of napalm to burn him alive.
Winter buried her head into his leg and held tight, preventing him from doing so.
Even then, it was so terribly tempting to lash out and tear Jacques head from his shoulders. Maybe even rip his visage clean off, leaving him a screaming muffled mess of a man. with naught but a nose to his name. He knew some absolutely vile jutsu that could make his life hell. Or maybe he could just feed him to Kurama. But he couldn't very well do that here, now, could he? There are witnesses. Ironwood wasn't someone so easily silenced.
Jacques knew this. Maybe he didn't regardless, he kept digging that hole when he looked his way. "Do you have something to say?"
He did, but he had an example to set for the kids.
"I thought not." His peace, said, the arrogant little bastard granted Winter one last glare, clasped both hands behind his back, and stroke out the way he had come. "I shall see you at home, Winter. See to it this doesn't happen again."
Didn't stop him slamming the door on his way
Winter was silent as the grave.
James exhaled at last. You did well to restrain yourself, Uzumaki."
Naruto didn't answer.
"Uzumaki?"
He took a deep breath to master himself. Right. Restraint.
Frowning, he looked to Cinder and Winter.
The girls trembled.
(.0.0.0.)
The mighty halls of Atlas' training facility, once pristine, were now ground zero for the most passive-aggressive battle of wills in the history of detention.
Winter stood near the storage room, sweeping with precise, efficient strokes. Every movement was crisp, controlled, and perfectly calculated.
Cinder, on the other hand…
Cinder was making a mess on purpose.
She casually knocked over a bucket of water with her foot, watching as it spilled right in Winter's direction.
Winter's eye twitched.
"You did that on purpose," she seethed.
Cinder gasped, placing a dramatic hand over her chest. "Me? Winter, I would never!"
Winter took one deep, slow breath. "Fine."
If Cinder wanted war… Winter would oblige.
Anything to distract her from what Father had done.
With a calculated flick of her wrist, Winter took her broom and swept a cloud of dust directly into Cinder's face.
Cinder coughed. Violently.
She glared through the haze of betrayal and allergens.
Winter smirked.
It was on.
(.0.0.0.)
The acts of war that followed were thus:
Cinder "accidentally" knocked over more water buckets.
Winter "slipped" and flung a mop full of soap at Cinder's head.
Cinder retaliatedd by leaving a wet rag where Winter steps, sending her skidding into the wall.
Winter somehow managed to weaponize a broom like a sniper rifle and launch dust clouds at Cinder's face.
Soon, it wasn't detention anymore.
It was a battlefield.
(.0.0.0.)
Naruto sighed as he leaned against the doorframe, watching the carnage unfold.
Winter held the high ground, armed with a mop and a bucket of dirty water.
Cinder was below, crouched like a feral cat, armed with two rags, a dustpan, and pure spite.
The room was worse than before.
The floor was slippery, the walls were wet, and somehow, a single unlit candle had been knocked over, defying logic.
Ironwood was due back in five minutes, and still there was no sign of parley between the two of them.
Naruto clapped his hands together. "Alright, that's enough. Both of you, sit down."
Cinder and Winter glared at him, then at each other.
Neither moved.
Naruto sighed.
"Fine." He folded his arms. "Winter, if you don't listen, I'll tell Weiss you lost a fight."
Winter froze.
Cinder smirked.
"...That would be a blatant lie," Winter said stiffly, but her stance had shifted.
Naruto turned to Cinder. "And you? If you sit, I'll personally tutor you in reading and writing."
Instantly, Cinder sat down.
Naruto narrowed his eyes. "...That was suspiciously fast."
Cinder grumbled, crossing her arms. "Don't make threats you can't take back."
Finally, detention fell silent.
For all of two minutes.
Then Winter muttered, "Illiterate street rat."
Cinder responded by whipping a wet rag straight at her face.
Detention lasted three extra hours.
(.0.0.0.)
RING.
A phone chimed in a dimly lit room, its soft hum slicing through the silence like a knife.
A pale hand picked it up, fingers idly spinning a combat knife between them.
"Been a while since you called."
The voice was smooth, casual, but there was a sharp edge beneath the words—like a blade hidden behind silk, ready to slash forth at the slightest provocation.
"Don't worry." came the reply, confirming her suspicions as to the caller. "This is a secure line. It's untraceable."
The aspiring huntress leaned back in her chair, twirling the knife lazily. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"How would you like to make some extra lien?"
A slow smirk curled across her lips. "Easy for you to say. I've got class in the morning."
His counter was immediate. "One million lien."
The knife stopped spinning, faltered and fell to the floor. Her red eyes gleamed. "…I'm listening."
"I need you to make an example of someone. I can't be seen to. Hence why I require your assistance.
Interesting. Wasn't often he made offers like this. What did he do?"
The voice on the other end was clipped. Cold. Professional. "He gave my student a black eye."
She arched a brow. "Little Winter?"
The silence was his answer.
A pause followed; etched with the barest hint of amusement.
She smiled. Ever so softly. "Did he now?"
Oh, this was going to be fun.
"Sure, why not? I'm free."
"Make sure you wear a mask. I don't want this being traced back to us."
The huntress rolled her eyes. "I am a Huntress."
"Huntress-in-training." came the counter.
"Fine, Huntress-in-training," She amended with a huff. "Not a superhero, not some godsdamn vigilante. You wanna hire me, you know my rate. Make it worth my while and—I'm not dying my hair."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
"I want three million lien, then."
"Deal. But you have to use a different weapon. Yours is too recognizable."
...he had a point, loathe though she was to admit it. "Ugh. Fine. Do you want this little bastard dead or alive?"
"I'll leave that to your discretion. You get half now, the other half when the job is done."
A slow, predatory grin spread across her face. "Pleasure doing business with you."
One last thing.
"Yeah?"
"Take his right hand."
He brow furrowed. "Any reason why?"
"It was the hand he used to strike Winter."
CLICK.
The call ended.
She pouted at the screen.
"Booo. Hung up on me already?"
She tossed the phone onto the bed and stretched, rolling her shoulders with lazy ease.
"Oh well." Her fingers traced the hilt of her weapon as she licked her lips. "I do love chasing the strong ones."
(.0.0.0.)
The attack came in the dead of night -and without warning.
One moment, Jacques Schnee was peacefully reading his newspaper, smugly gloating over the profit margins he'd squeezed dry by laying off another two dozen Faunus workers. Business was booming, Willow was learning her place-beneath him!-and he'd disciplined his unruly daughter. Life, insofar as he was concerned, was good.
The next—
BANG!
Someone kicked down the door to his office.
Not a polite knock.
Not an announcement.
Full-on, bone-rattling, hinge-shattering destruction.
A dark figure strode in, dressed in black and white, their face hidden beneath a bone-white mask.
Jacques barely had time to raise a hand before—
CRACK!
A fist smashed into his face, sending his monocle flying across the room like a cheap frisbee.
"Agh—W-WHAT?!" he wheezed, staggering back.
A woman?! In his home?!
He flailed for the panic button under his desk, his one last hope for security.
SHNK.
He lost the finger.
Jacques let out a blood-curdling shriek.
"SECURITY!" he wailed, his voice rising several octaves. "SECURITY! HELP!"
A sword slashed in a horizontal arc, barely missing his gut.
Jacques crashed backward, feet slipping on his overpriced marble flooring.
Then—
A clenched fist barreled into his face at mach speed.
BANG!
The impact launched him airborne. His body cartwheeled gracelessly through the air before landing on his arse with a brutal thud.
Jacques crawled backward like a drunken crab, sheer panic overtaking his senses as he struggled to make sense of what was happening. It was all too fast, too fierce, too furious; he could scarcely made heads or tails of what was happening. Clutching his wounded hand to his chest, he tried to drag himself away, to no avail.
His attacker pursued, rusty sword in hand.
"Y-Y-YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!" he shrieked. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?!"
His attacker didn't listen.
They didn't speak.
They weren't acknowledging him at all.
The only thing Jacques saw was their shadow looming over him, eyes burning through the mask like twin embers of rage.
A hand seized his collar.
Jacques was yanked forward—no room for resistance—
And then—
BAAAM!
Blazing knuckles smashed into his schnoz with a ferocity that could split mountains.
PAIN. UNFILTERED. PURE. HOLY. PAIN.
His nose exploded like a faulty dust cartridge.
He raised a feeble arm to defend himself.
The attacker lopped it off at the wrist.
Jacques stared in horror.
Shock settled in.
And then—
Blackness.
(.0.0.0.)
Qrow didn't looked up from his textbook as a red portal spiraled open before him.
He didn't even blink.
"Where were you?" he asked dryly.
A tall, black-clad figure wearing a mask stepped out of the portal, blood all over her.
She glanced at him for a moment and shrugged, as though to say "so what?" strode past him, and flounced onto the floor.
"Just doing a little extra credit," Raven Branwen muttered, idly wiping her blade.
Qrow raised a brow. "Sis… there's blood on your face."
Raven scowled.
"There's about to be blood on yours if you don't help me clean this up."
Qrow sighed. "You're lucky Summer and Tai are out on the town."
Raven's face scrunched up in a frown."...What do I care? They're weak."
Ah. There it was.
Qrow knew his sister. Loved her, even. But sometimes…sometimes, he worried about her. Raven had always prioritized strength over everything. Power over weakness. Prestige over bonds. Pride over shame. She loved their team—but only because they were strong.
She would never kill someone for money.
But hey, Dust was expensive.
And Omen used a lot.
Harbinger, too.
They were already third-years at Beacon. Had to keep stocked somehow. And if that meant thrashing some bad dudes every now and again, then so be it.
Funny thing was, their "patron" always seemed to know whenever they were running low. He always had a job lined up for them just before they ran out. He'd never met the guy face to face, but evidently Raven had, because she had a freaking portal to him and come rain or shine, she always accepted. Always. Without fail. Sometimes to the detriment of Team STRQ, even.
Tai and Summer were nice, but they were nice you know? They'd never go for this sorta thing. Hence why they kept it a secret.
Qrow couldn't entirely blame her. Their teammates had a normal life. Normal parents, normal everything.
He and Raven...well, they hadn't.
Nobody was normal in the Branwen Tribe.
Still, she really looked like she'd laid into a poor bastard this time around. He almost pitied them. Almost.
"So?" Qrow took a swig of whiskey from his flask. "Who was it?"
Raven wiped her blade, voice casual. "Jacques Schnee."
Qrow choked on his drink.
"PFFFT—COUGH—WHAT?!"
He wheeze violently, pounding his chest as his booze betrayed him.
Raven folded her arms. "What?"
Qrow wiped his mouth, wheezing. "Jacques Schnee? As in the Jacques Schnee?*"
Raven nodded.
He flung up his arms. "Why?!"
His bitch of a sister crossed hers and glared back. "Hit his kid."
"The little Schnee brat?"
Qrow took a long, slow sip of whiskey, let it settle, thought about complaining...
.
..
...then thought better of it.
"On second thought, nevermind. Couldn't have happened to a worse guy."
He wasn't about to snitch. Snitches got stitches and Raven had a mean right hook.
"Yeah, yeah," he waved a hand. "Give that rusty old thing here—we need to get rid of it."
Raven smirked.
"Thought you'd never ask."
(.0.0.0.)
Winter Schnee stood in her father's office, eyes wide.
The room was a disaster; no, to call it a disaster would've been tame. The once pristine marble floors were now stained red with blood. The desk was shattered. The windows were broken. A single white glove, torn and soaked in red, lay forgotten in the corner.
Winter gritted her teeth.
Her father, Jacques Schnee, had been beaten within an inch of his life.
Some masked lunatic had broken in, trashed the place, and left Jacques Schnee unconscious and humiliated.
Winter didn't care one bloody iota about Jacques Schnee the businessman.
She didn't particularly like him as a Father at the moment, either.
But this? This was a disgrace.
Mother didn't care, and Weiss was too young to understand, yet she knew better, didn't she? She could already hear the whispers among the servants. The rumors. The talking behind closed doors. A Schnee had been attacked. Brutalized. A message sent against the very heart of Atlas. If they didn't retaliate, their family name would become a joke.
And yet.
She paused, suddenly. Frowned now as something caught her eye at the edge of Father's desk.
There, amidst the blood, a hint of something darker.
She knelt to retrieve it, uncaring of the mess she made of herself. The blood never bothered her anyway. She plucked the item -evidence!- in question free and held it up before her face.
All the color drained right out of it as she beheld her prize.
A single strand of black hair, dark as night...
On second thought, daddy dearest could deal with his own problems.
She didn't have a death wish!
(.0.0.0.)
Jacques awoke in his bed, groggy and sore.
His head throbbed. His face ached. Everything did, really.
Groaning, he reached up, only to feel bandages around his nose.
He touched nothing.
He blinked.
Hard.
His right hand wasn't just missing; most of his nose was flat out gone; someone had pummeled it clean off his face. He had to breathe through his mouth, little raspy gasps powered by a machine. He hadn't simply been beaten, he had been broken. It would be a long road to recovery, assuming he recovered at all.
How could this happen to me? I'm the most powerful man in Atlas! Who would dare do such a thing?!
Was it those wretched Faunus? Had they rebelled at last?!
Despairing, he forced himself to focus.
In short order, he found Willow stood before his bed, one hand over her stomach looking, the other resting on the machine that allowed him to breathe. She looked...dare he say pleased? No, she couldn't be. She wouldn't dare. He refused to believe it. Her smile vanished between one blink and another, leaving him to wonder if he'd imagined it at all.
"Willow…?" he wheezed.
His wife narrowed her eyes, but said nothing as she let her hand fall.
"Who did this to me?" Jacques demanded. "Have you found them?! Have you punished them?!"
Willow hesitated.
Jacques glared.
Willow and turned away. "We don't have any leads, dear."
Jacques fumed. "This is unacceptable! When I find out who did this, I will have them—"
His scroll beeped.
A notification.
A bank transaction.
Jacques opened it—
And screamed.
"WHO SPENT A MILLION OF MY LIEN?!"
Willow walked out of the room.
Jacques wailed.
(.0.0.0.)
Naruto read the message and closed his scroll with a grin slick as sin.
Cinder noticed.
Kinda hard not to, really.
The way he leaned back, the lazy smirk, the sheer smugness radiating off him like a sunbeam on a summer afternoon.
He was way too damn pleased with himself.
Cinder narrowed her eyes. "What did you do?"
Naruto chuckled, stretching his arms behind his head.
"Listen, kiddo," he said, voice full of mischief. "Sometimes the best lessons aren't taught in a classroom."
He paused for dramatic effect, tilting his head.
"We call them life lessons."
Cinder frowned, not quite comprehending. "What kind of life lesson?"
Naruto's grin turned positively fox-like with a sicker. "The kind that let you fleece a billionaire blind."
Come to think of it, hadn't there been an attack on the Schnee manor? She remembered Tyrian mentioning her.
Which meant...!
Her eyes narrowed, widened, bulged now in realization. "You robbed Jacques Schnee?!
(.0.0.0.)
Clever girl. She caught on quickly.
Naruto shrugged. "More like a forced charitable donation."
Cinder loosed a little giggle.
She didn't even feel bad.
Not one bit.
"Alright," Naruto said, shifting gears. "Now, then." His tone softened as he took her by the shoulders and steered her towards the table to sit. "You really don't know how to read or count, huh?"
Cinder stiffened as her smile disappeared as quickly as it came. Her arms crossed. "I—It's not my fault!"
She tried to sound fierce—tried to bite back like a snarling wolf—
But in reality…
It was more like a baby bird chirping for attention.
Naruto bit back a chuckle.
Cute.
"C'mere, you."
Cinder huffed, but she obeyed, hopping onto a chair besides him.
Naruto pulled out a notebook and a pen from a nearby drawer, careful to hold both out the way so as not to startle her.
"Alright. Let's start easy."
He tapped the page.
"Write your name."
Cinder squinted. "I don't know how."
Bemused, her wrote it for her in simple print. Not cursive. Cursive was evil. The bane of men and monsters everywhere.
Cinder studied what he'd written and she grabbed the pen awkwardly.
Her tongue stuck out slightly in concentration.
Slowly, she started writing.
M… y… n… a…
"My name is Cinder."
The letters were wobbly, uneven, and barely legible.
Cinder stared at it.
Then at Naruto.
Then back at the paper.
She puffed out her chest. "NAILED IT."
Naruto grinned.
"Perfect. We'll make a scholar outta you yet. Now for the rest...
It took less time to teach her than he thought it would; she was behind to be sure, but clever and willing to learn. She was by no means a master in a single night, but he could impart the barebones basics to her and teach her further himself, perhaps even homeschool her for a bit before he sent her back to school. It would also give her and Winter time to cool off. He didn't think Atlas Academy could survive another clash between them. Tyrian, at least, he could trust to control himself. Somewhat...
Naruto tapped the paper in front of Cinder.
"Alright, kiddo. Now that we've got writing covered, it's time for math."
Cinder groaned. "Math is stupid."
Spoken like one who didn't know.
Naruto grinned.
"Nah. Math is important." He leaned back, cracking his knuckles. "If you wanna be a badass, you gotta know how to count. Otherwise, how are you gonna tell how much money you steal—I mean, earn?"
Cinder tilted her head. "…I mean, I'd say just grab all of it."
Naruto paused.
"…Okay, fair."
He handed her a pencil.
"Let's start easy. What's 2 2?"
Cinder squinted. "Uh… fish?"
Naruto facepalmed. "Alright, alright. Try again. What's 5 - 3?"
Cinder drummed her fingers. "…Murder?"
Naruto choked. "WHAT?!"
"See?" She pointed at the number five. "Five fingers. If you take away three…" She wiggled her fingers dramatically.
"…You only have two left. And now that guy has three missing fingers. Murder."
Naruto stared.
Opened his mouth.
Closed it again. "…Okay, first of all, I'm proud of your creativity. Second of all, WHAT THE HELL?!"
Cinder grinned. "See? Math is fun!"
Naruto rubbed his temples. Sage save him from this surly girl. He'd known Cinder was a bit broken when he took her in, but he hadn't realized she'd be quite this bad. Seemed he had his work cut out for him. Teaching Tyrian had been...an experience, but nothing like this...
.
..
...this was going to be a long night, wasn't it?
"Alright, moving on." valiantly, he rallied. "Let's talk about multiplication—"
Cinder held up a hand. "Nope. That sounds like a scam."
He sighed. "It's not a scam."
"Sounds like a scam."
"It's literally just adding the same number over and over—"
Cinder glared. "Why not just add the numbers, then?! Why make it COMPLICATED?!"
Naruto sighed. "Alright, fine, let's try division—"
"OH, EVEN WORSE."
"Cinder—"
"YOU'RE TELLING ME SOME NUMBERS CAN'T BE DIVIDED?! THAT'S JUST LAZY NUMBER DESIGN!"
Naruto slammed his forehead onto the table.
"Alright, fine. Let's move on to something cool." He grabbed a fresh sheet of paper. "Let me introduce you to… IMAGINARY NUMBERS."
Cinder froze.
She stared at him.
"…What?"
Naruto grinned. "Imaginary numbers."
Cinder's eyebrow twitched.
"You mean to tell me," she said slowly, "that math is already awful and boring and now we're making up numbers that don't even exist?!"
Naruto nodded proudly. "Yup."
Cinder stared at the page.
The symbol 'i' was written down.
"'I' equals the square root of negative one," he explained.
Cinder twitched.
"BUT YOU CAN'T SQUARE A NEGATIVE NUMBER!" she shrieked.
"That's why it's imaginary!"
Cinder snapped and flipped the table. "NO! I REFUSE! I'LL FIGHT THEM!"
"Wait, what?"
"YOU SAID THEY'RE IMAGINARY?! THEN I'LL IMAGINE PUNCHING THEM!"
Naruto leaned back, watching as Cinder shadowboxed the air, throwing punches like she was physically brawling with the concept of abstract mathematics.
"TAKE THAT, YOU FRAUDS!" she shouted. "And this! And that! And some of those!"
"Kid, what are you doing?" Naruto chuckled.
"I'M DEFENDING COMMON SENSE!"
"…Okay, but math still exists."
Cinder grabbed the pencil and brandished it like a kunai. "NOT IF I KILL IT!"
Naruto found himself laughing, mildly incredulous at it all. "Alright, alright. Let's take a break before your brain breaks.
Cinder huffed, victorious. "Good. 'Cause I think I just won a war against math."
He shook his head. "You're definitely one of a kind, kiddo."
Cinder beamed. Maybe learning wasn't so bad after all.
And then his scroll rang.
(.0.0.0.)
Her owner's scroll rang, ruining the moment.
The moment it did, Naruto's smile vanished like so much morning mist.
Cinder couldn't help but notice just how bright his eyes were for a moment; how focused he looked; as though a switch had flipped somewhere deep inside him.
Rather than retort, he held a finger to his lips and placed it to his ear.
A cultured voice answered almost at once, rich and indignant, but she couldn't make our the words.
Naruto's response however...that was another matter entirely.
"Making a fuss is he?" leaning over, he laid his chin to rest against one hand. "Well, we expected as much. Jacques always had more money than sense. Don't worry about it, Watts. We'll just have to twist the knife harder. Target his shareholders in Mistral; that'll give him something to sweat over. They're just as guilty anyway. Feel free to use that while you're at it. I'm sure he's just itching to stretch his legs after last time...
Another muffled response she couldn't quite decipher, but it sounded pleased.
"Yup." he smacked his lips. "You too. Let me know how the paladin's coming along in the meantime."
His peace said, he closed the scroll down and looked back to her.
The smile returned, just a bit dimmer than before.
"Want some ice cream?"
Nevermind! Happy thoughts!
(.0.0.0.)
"How's our project coming along?"
Doctor Arthur Watts folded his hands behind his back, his tone smooth, calculated, and expectant as he gazed through the reinforced glass.
Professor Pietro Polendina sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "If you're asking about the Penny Project, we're still in the barebones phase—"
"Not her," Watts cut in with a sharp wave of the hand. "I'm sure she'll be… spectacular." His eyes gleamed. "I was referring to the other project."
Pietro exhaled sharply.
He knew full well what his rival was referring to; in truth it was something he wished they were well rid of. Atlas was meant to be a bastion of order; a city of progress, of peace, the only kingdom with a standing military, one that stood at the very forefront of technology.
But sometimes to make an omelette...
...one must break a few eggs.
"Ah.." He stepped forward, tapping a few keys on his console. "That."
The opaque glass shifted, revealing a massive containment pod filled with a swirling mixture of synthetic fluids and cryo-gas.
No signs of movement. But a lack of movement didn't signify a lack of existence as he well knew.
"He's in there," Pietro muttered, tapping the glass lightly.
Watts leaned forward. "Can you hear me?"
A moment of silence.
Then—
"I can." The voice was deep, rich, and unsettlingly smooth, velvet satin wrapped around a knife. "Yesssss."
Watts smirked at the response. "Apologies for the damage you suffered. We recovered what we could."
The creature -Pietro shuddered to call it such-inside the pod chuckled. "You have my thanks."
"Are you… aware?"
"Are you?"
"Evidently so. "Watts's smirk grew wider. "We have a task for you."
We?! As if he had any part in this madness!
But he was part and parcel to this now, wasn't he? The Penny Project required funds. Funds meant a patron. A patron meant doing unsavory things in the name of funding. Atlas wanted more soldiers like Specialist Uzumaki, living weapons to terrorize their enemies, and they weren't afraid to take a few...shortcuts to get them.
The voice from the pod purred anew, humming almost noncommittally; the being within was clever, dangerously so.
Watts pretended not to notice. "Do this, and I'll see about getting you more privileges."
A brief pause.
Then—
"And just what, pray tell, might that task might that be?"
"Just the kind you're good at," Watts said airily. "I need you to arrange an… accident for a few people."
"A treacherous, underhanded sneak attack?" The voice was practically delighted. "Ohohoho, I like you, human. Yesss."
Pietro paled and pretended he couldn't hear him.
Silence.
Then—
"What manner of accident?"
Watts's smile turned razor-sharp beneath his mustache. "The lethal kind. I'm told you specialize in that."
The pod hissed, vents releasing a cold mist that made Pietro shiver in his boots.
Don't say a word. Don't attract its attention. Don't make any sudden moves.
Watts leaned in. "Have you chosen a name for yourself?"
A low, deep chuckle resounded in kind. "I have."
"…Are you going to tell me said name?"
More laughter.
Then—
Watts's smirk twitched. "Your designation?"
"All in good time," The figure inside the smoke shifted, unseen. "I've studied the material you've given me, and I find myself rather fond of it."
The voice sharpened.
"Call me… Megatron."
Watts tilted his head, amused. "Don't make me regret this."
"Perish the thought!" Megatron purred. "We're two peas in a pod, you and I. Now then, the humans." His tone darkened, rich with amusement and menace. "How would you like them to die?"
Watts gestured lazily. "Dealer's choice."
The pod hissed open.
A massive, towering form stepped out, casting an enormous shadow over them both.
Pietro whimpered.
Watts did not move.
Together their eyes trailed up.
Pale lavender skin. A long, sinuous scaled tail that lashed against the ground, denting metal floors. Piercing, reptilian eyes. Powerful jaws that could shatter aura and crush bodies in an instant. A monster made of flesh and metal. It was an abomination in every what mattered, a beast that loomed large, straight out of Remnants past, a time when men did not walk its surface, but something far more dangerous did...
"So that's the form you've chosen?" Watts mused. "Fitting, I suppose."
Megatron smirked, baring sharp, predatory teeth.
"I had precious little DNA to work with given what was provided," he admitted, flexing his claws. "Terrifying, is it not?"
Watts chuckled. "It's certainly going to make an impression."
Megatron's eyes glowed. "Then I have your leave to wreak havoc upon these humans?"
Watts smiled.
"Not just havoc." He leaned in, eyes gleaming. "Terrorize them. I want Jacques Schnee to have no allies after tonight. I want them to SEE their deaths coming. I'll ensure a full communications blackout in the meantime. You'll have carte blanche to do as you please.
Megatron hummed. "Terrorize, you say?" He rolled the word on his tongue, as if savoring it. "I believe I shall keep that word, yes."
His smile grew wider.
"Terrorize."
The walls rumbled as he vanished into the night.
Pietro slumped to the floor and wiped a beat of sweat from his brow. "I do hope you know what you're doing...
Distant laughter shook the facility, causing him to quail a little.
Penny was going to have quite a terrifying older brother...
(.0.0.0.)
"Terrorize~!"
Isn't it amazing how a single word can strike fear into the heart of mortals?
Case in point! Dropping out of the sky to land amongst one's victims with all the force of a thunderclap.
No one quite knew what to do when a damned dinosaur landed in their midst of their mansion. Least of all when said Tyrannosaurus Rex transformed into a towering android to loom head and shoulders above them with a face-and-body-custom made for murder.
He was well aware of how he must appear, all cold dark metal melded with the flesh of a beast thought long since dead, his right arm ending in a carnivorous maw, his left clutching his former tail like a sword. And his smile. He'd been practising that. The best way to instill fear was not through words, but deception.
Take a smile for instance.
Why, with but a simple smirk, he sent them and their security teams scurrying for cover.
Someone lost their bowels; he could smell it. One had the gall to actually insult him.
"What the hell is that thing?!"
"Thing?" he tutted indignantly as bullets pinged off his impervious hide. "How rude. I! AM! MEGATRON!"
Laughing, he lashed out with one hand, casually catching one in the jaws of his right arm.
"Pop goes the human~!"
Blood spattered across his chasis; shame, that. He'd need an oil bath later.
"We must pay attention my good fellows!" he laughed deeply, savoring their fear as he cast the corpse aside. "Otherwise, dear me, look what happens!"
He'd been waiting to use that line for some time now, yesss.
The humans fled from him, screaming.
He gave chase.
Some tried to beg, to curry favor with him. Those he killed quickly, uninterested in their pleas. So fragile these mortals. None of them had the spark -he wasn't talking about aura- not like that blond one and those who worked with him. Sly, sneaky, scheming, with the bite to back up his bark, yesss he could work with that.
And if he was raising children to be more like him? Allies! Comrades!
More minions to use in his eventual world conquest!
A lizard such as he could be patient, even if he had to wait a hundred years!
"I believe I shall savor this, yessss." he lumbered forward, wearing a grin. "You may run if you wish. I'll enjoy the chase~!"
That night, the streets of Mistral ran red with blood.
(.0.0.0.)
Come the dawn, Jacques Schnee stared at his scroll in horror.
His bank account.
His beautiful, overflowing, highly unethical bank account.
It was… gone.
The funds had been transferred.
Not stolen.
Transferred.
"WHO THE HELL MOVED MY MONEY?!"
The butler beside him paled. "Sir, the transaction says it was an investment—"
"INVESTMENT IN WHAT?!"
"…An orphanage."
Jacques' scream shattered glass.
Darklord331 AN: HELLO EVERYONE!
What started as a simple upgrade turned into a extravaganza featuring the Schnee and Fall. I strongly believe it would go exactly like this: over-the-top villain theatrics, unnecessary explosions, dramatic grins, and an entire city questioning its life choices.
Let's pour one out for Ironwood, the true MVP, who wakes up every morning, takes one look at his city getting demolished AGAIN, and just sighs into his coffee. The man is tired.
Thank you guys, we'll see what chaos will unfold in the future~.
Neonzangetsu: Do you recognize him?
It could only happen in this story. The parody tag really gives me a lot more room to work with.
In other news, Raven for the win. Actual Raven who doesn't know about Salem yet, not the cowardly craven we got in later seasons. Yeah, don't mess with the specialist. It's heavily implied that despite only being on Remnant for a year, our boy knows some people work. Team STRQ for instance, or rather, a certain broody bird through said fledgling team in Beacon.
After all, Naruto, Uzumaki, can't be seen beating up, Jacques Schnee, but someone else certainly can, and if they were wearing up full facemask, then, oh no, nobody one can identify them...
This chapter took a lot out of me, time to sleep! Have a great day! Sooooooooo, do you want this to be a story? Would you like weekly updates? Yes? No? Maybe so? Make yourselves heard. I bow to feedback! Pairing might be a single pairing, or might be harem, or there may not be one at all. You decide! Do let me know in your reviews~!
Aaaand there we go. As ever, reviews keep me alive. Without them, I cannot write. So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...
...Review...Would You Kindly? And have some previews -potential blot bin things- that I'm working on.
References ahoy~! Hopefully this will sate my muse for the time being.
And as ever:
WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!
SPOILERS LAY AHEAD!
YE BE WARNED~!
SERIOUSLY!
HEADS UP!
(Previews! Mind you, most of them are condensed for good reason!
Refereces ahoy~!
(Previews!)
"A most deceptive scheme! Why, its downright treacherous! I think I rather like this plan, yesssss...
"Don't you start! Cinder's rebellious enough. I don't need you giving her ideas!"
I believe the small human is fond of me...
Only because you give her piggyback rides.
x
He did what?
Ozma pinched the bridge of his nose.
His current host -Ozpin!- was still quite young and he enjoyed conversing with him regularly. Perhaps someday they would run Beacon together again, but for now they were naught but a regular Huntsman in the field, a powerful one, but just that. Not a teacher, not bound to the Academies in any meaningful way.
Untethered, they could go wherever they pleased.
And besides, his friend had raised a valid point just now.
Perhaps he had the right of it.
Beacon would do well to follow such the Atlas initiative.
He'd grown so used to relying on the next generation that he'd never thought to start earlier.
Perhaps it was time he remedied that..
Maybe take on an apprentice...or two...or three...
x
Naruto quirked a blond brow. "And you are?"
"Doctor Harley Sawyer. Now if you'll excuse me, I have important work to do...
EDIT: If you know who this guy is...oh dear indeed. Somebody better keep an eye on him...
x
"I understand your husband recently lost an arm. My condolences."
Willow took a long drink from her bottle. "And as I understand it, you're keeping an overgrown cybernetic lizard in your basement.
Don't let Megatron hear you say that. He's sensitive.
He killed seven shareholders overnight.
"I'm afraid I have no idea what you mean?"
She wore the biggest smile. "Don't you?"
x
Why do they call you the Blizzard?"
My semblance allows me to control the elements.
He was lying and she noticed.
Clever girl.
x
Salem made an annoyed noise. "He's just...adopting all the urchins. I don't understand? What's his aim?"
x
You're collecting kids like trading cards. What's wrong? Daddy not love you enough?"
"Evidently yours didn't if you feel the need to bother me. Have a nice day."
"Hey! Where are you going?! Wait! I SAID WAIT!"
x
This is the man who prevented Mountain Glen, girl. Show some respect...
EDIT: Hey, thanks for reading! Hope you have a great day, and lots of luck! Looking forward to your feedback~!