On Tuesday, the second day of the new school year, class was canceled due to an extreme flood warning. The heavy rain persisted in Hillwood, with a rhythmic patter drumming against Sid's window as he slumped on his bed, the glow of his TV illuminating his face in the dim light. He lay watching "Yo Earnest!" reruns when his heart sank in as he came across the latest ad campaign for Yahoo Soda. To his surprise, none other than his best friend Stinky showed up front and center, clad in overalls and a wide-brimmed straw hat that made him look like he had just wandered off a country fair set.
"Stinky? For real? On my TV?" Sid muttered, bewildered at how fast things unfolded. They'd been friends so long, and it felt surreal to see Stinky's goofy grin plastered across his television, touting the drink like the elixir of life. As the screen blinked with images of Stinky laughing with a group of cheerful adults—who were more caricatures of rednecks than real people—a strange knot formed in Sid's stomach.
The new school year had started with a bang, but more like the bang of gang war activity in your neighborhood. With breakouts, voice cracks, and a growing rear, Sid tried to navigate the hormonal chaos of puberty while grappling with burgeoning feelings he didn't quite understand—especially when it came to boys like Stinky. Sid crawled into Mr. Simmons' sweater and stayed inside until school opened back up tomorrow.
First thing in the morning, Stinky showed up to school looking like a whole new person. Just yesterday, Stinky had his hair upright in a crew cut, wearing an olive-colored, short-sleeved, dress shirt and accessorized with spiked, leather bracelets. Today, he had side-swept hair, sporting a yellow Yahoo Soda polo and green Yahoo Soda shades. Sid hated to admit it, but he liked the new hair, at least.
"Hey, look! It's Stinky, the Yahoo Soda Boy!" one kid called out down the hall, pointing at Stinky as he walked into the school, blissfully unaware of the whispers that followed him like a shadow.
Sid cringed as laughter erupted around him. It could be seen as a simple jest, but he felt a flicker of protectiveness for his friend. "He's more than that!" Sid shot back, feeling a surge of heat in his cheeks.
Stinky strolled up to Sid, his eyes sparkling as he launched into tales from the set, completely oblivious to the ridicule. "They had me sippin' Yahoo while ridin' a mechanicawl bull! Can ya'll believe it? I feel like a stawr!" He laughed, and the sound echoed in Sid's heart, a mix of joy and sadness that left him feeling adrift.
As the day rolled on, Sid found himself gazing at Stinky a little longer, his heart racing at the simplest interactions, a nudge at the shoulder, a shared joke—the kind of things that used to feel so innocent. Stinky's laughter felt infectious, but it also tugged at something deeper within Sid. He tried to brush off the feelings; after all, it was Stinky—his buddy, his best friend. Still, as his emotions churned, the truth simmered just below the surface.
That afternoon, as they hopped into Stinky's new limo to ride home, Stinky wore an oversized Yahoo hoodie from the merch line, like one of his goofy billboards coming to life. "Ya don't think I look stupid, do ya?" he asked, fiddling with the hem.
Sid felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him. "No! I think it's cool. You're, uh, representing the brand and all," he lied, screaming on the inside, "Where's your dignity, Stinky!"
By Thursday, the mockery had intensified. Sid watched helplessly as classmates dubbed Stinky the, "Yahoo Yokel," a title that seemed harmless yet cut deep when Stinky, in all his excitement, wore it like a badge of honor. Sid began to see the ad campaigns more critically, each commercial twisted Stinky into a caricature, playing up the rustic charm to the point that it almost became cartoonish.
"Do you feel good about what they're doing, Stinky?" Sid finally blurted out in frustration as they lounged in Stinky's new luxury apartment bedroom, rain splattering against the upscale window wall.
Stinky stopped, looking genuinely confused. "What do ya mean? It's fun! People love it! I'm the Yahoo Yokel."
"Yeah, but they're laughing at you, not with you!" his voice cracking with each emphasized word. His emotions battled his desire to support his friend and his eyes almost welled up with tears.
Stinky shrugged, not yet able to accept what Sid had to say. "Don't be silly, Sid. It's all a part ah bein' a stawr. And listen, why don't ya stay here at mah new place tanight? I've got a new bed big enough fer tha both ah us!"
Sid felt his face turn beet red. "Uhm, I can't! I've got a ... special extra credit assignment for Mr. Simmons I gotta get to work on. Bye!" Sid zipped out of there faster than Stinky had time to say anything back to him, the Yahoo Yokel looking down at all his new stuff, disappointed.
That night, Sid lay restless in bed, the weight of it all pressing on him like the damp air outside. He needed to tell Stinky how he felt—about everything. Could it ruin their friendship? Would Stinky even see him that way? Sid turned the thoughts over and over, a dizzying cycle of self-doubt. Then another person came to mind: Brainy.
Sid reached down to touch himself, feeling his penis grow aroused at the thoughts of these boys, standing a head or two above him, Brainy's breath on him coming out his asthmatic mouth, and Stinky's from his nose caverns. "Oh-God!" Sid thought about sticking it in Brainy's mouth, then for some strange reason, in Stinky's nostril. Pulling each boy down on him, making love to their face holes one after the other, when-"Hey, Big Guy-UH!" Ray had entered the room—only to immediately pick up on the scene—turning back around and shutting the door.
Sid yelled in his head, "No freaking way. Why me? WHY NOW?!" He beat a fist down on his bed, still smelling the scent of sex all over himself as he squirmed uncomfortably at what just happened. He crawled into the big sweater and went to sleep, immediately.
It wouldn't be until the next day at school, Friday, during gym class, that things finally started to unravel. Stinky tossed a basketball with that kind of enthusiasm Sid had always loved when another student shouted, "Hey! Watch out for the redneck! Better not drop your Yahoo!"
Laughter rippled through the gym, and Sid's heart sank. He saw the color drain from Stinky's face and rushed to his side, feeling an overwhelming wave of protectiveness. "Hey! CUT IT OUT!" Sid shrieked, confronting the group that had been taunting Stinky: Harold and Joey.
"What's your problem, Sid? It's just a joke!" Harold squealed, ready to defend the crowd. Sid's eyes darted to Joey, the much smaller of the two. Joey had always been one of the only boys in their class actually smaller than Sid; he got ready to pounce.
Sid couldn't hear as everyone shouted. He ended up on top of Joey like a wild animal. He scratched, he pulled, and he punched. Joey became extremely passive, taking it without a struggle.
Sid turned his head to see Stinky, who looked extremely vulnerable, but Stinky just stood there as a crowd formed. Sid did the only thing he could think of, he jumped up and hugged his friend tightly, now crying.
"You're not a joke, you're my friend," Sid wept.
The silence that followed turned deafening. Aside from his own tears, all Sid felt was Stinky's warmth seeping into him through the mesh fabric of their gym tees.
After a moment, Stinky laughed softly, "Well, thanks for that."
That's when Sid saw him, Brainy stood watching closely, not even open-mouthed breathing for a change.
Suddenly, thick, gruff hands grabbed Sid and Joey by the scruffs. "I saw everything. You boys are in BIG trouble," Principal Wartz broadcasted. Luckily for Sid, he evidently hadn't seen everything. The short, stacked old man dragged them out of the gym by their collars.
As Sid sat next to Joey in the principal's office, he was surprised to see he hadn't left much of a mark on the tinier boy. Joey's sobbing became all the more confusing when considering that. They'd been left in there by themselves for a moment, a questionable decision, but it resulted in a moment of solace.
"Why me?" Joey urged, his wide mouth opening to show off his prominent, missing tooth. Sid didn't understand and Joey could tell. "Harold'sh the one that shaid it," his lisp flared.
Sid admired the gap in the boy's mouth, strangely taking to his speech impediment. "I-dunno." Sid did know, though—because of the size difference—because Harold was way bigger than Sid and Joey was way smaller than Sid. "I'm sorry, Joey. I just got so mad."
Joey sniffed, "Everyone picksh the shmall fry." He looked to be affected by more than that, though.
"Is that why you're still upset?" Sid couldn't make out Joey's emotions.
"No ... It'sh-" An enormous man kicked the door open.
"JOSEPH! GET UP, BOY!" the supersized man shouted at the top of his lungs. He grabbed the toylike boy by his tiny arm, lifting him and immediately beating him across the rear like he wanted to spank the child's soul out of his body.
"Holy shit!" Sid couldn't censor himself, jumping out of his seat as he watched the undersized boy get manhandled. This didn't compare to what Sid had done, this man wanted to kill Joey.
Sid saw Ray walk up behind the walloping man, just as surprised at the beatdown. Shortly after, Wartz could be seen next to Ray, with a completely different look on his face.
"That'll teach him," Wartz could be heard in the rear, Ray and Sid watching on with horrified looks as Joey got dragged out of the school like a ragdoll. Sid could swear he saw Wartz lick his lips before having a pointed request, "I can see Joseph's father is dealing out a corporal punishment. How will you be handling Sidney, sir?"
Ray seemed dumbfounded, "Uhm- I'm gonna ... seriously corporally punish him! As soon as we get home!" Ray didn't really mean it, but he tried to say what he thought Wartz expected of him in this situation.
Sid let it all slide out in a frenzy, "Are you fuckin' kidding me?! Someone needs to call the goddamn cops! Joey's having the shit beat outta him!" his voice cracked as he cursed uncontrollably.
Principal Wartz scoffed, "Watch your mouth, you little, crackly pipsqueak. You messed up Joey before anyone else got to him." The portly man bent forward, getting his bumpy nose close to Sid's own. "You'll get yours. Now get out of my school. You're suspended for the rest of the day."
Ray awkwardly took Sid out, both of them very shaken up from everything that happened so far, having little to say for a moment. In the car, Sid started bawling his eyes out.
"Dad! This is crazy, that's not normal! Dads shouldn't touch their sons like that! Am I the only one seeing how crazy this is?!" Sid wailed in hysterics.
Ray came back at Sid, stressed out in his response, losing whatever cool he planned on coming into this situation with, "What did you want me ta do, Sid? That man's two heads tall'a than me! And your principal has a point, they're gonna blame whatev'a condition Joey is in on you now! Then he's just gonna get it worse!"
Sid felt himself go limp in the passenger seat. "Take me home, Dad." He felt utterly dispirited, and he couldn't believe what an awful spiral this day had turned into.
When Sid got home, there were twenty new messages on the answering machine. Could it be Stinky? Did something worse happen to Joey? Sid's mind wandered.
"What's all'a this?" Ray asked aloud as message after message played out all the same. Breathing. Heavy breathing. Froggy, asthmatic breathing. Brainy.
"It's just some prank, Dad. Delete it!" Sid ran to his bedroom, the reverberation of rain picking up again outside.
Sid knew things were going to be changing. Like this, though? All of this? He couldn't believe it. He turned on the TV right when Ray knocked on the door. "Ugh, that was fast ... Come in."
Each drop of rain outside echoed the tension lingering in the room after the tumultuous day. Ray shuffled in from the small corridor, his expression a mix of concern and resolve. The man hit the mute button on the CRT television set and sat down at the end of his son's bed. The creaky, metal frame always managed to remind Sid of his cracking voice, his head buried in his hands, the faint smell of mildew from the damp walls mixing with his frustration and shame.
Ray sighed deeply. "Kiddo," he said softly, "I know today got rough. You didn't deserve to be thrown into that mess." Sid peeked through his fingers, tears glistening in his eyes as he recounted the encounter with Joey's dad, and how his voice had wavered in the face of authority. Ray leaned over, wrapping his arm around Sid's shoulders, drawing him close.
In a unique moment that felt almost sacred, he pulled out a small, battered book from his back pocket. The composition notebook had a classic black-and-white marble pattern. "Rememb'a this?" he asked, opening it to reveal years-old sketches of original characters. "At your age, I designed characters to unleash my feelin's."
Together, they flipped through pages filled with vibrant drawings, each one sparking laughter and memories that softened the gravity of the day. Sid loved these personalities. There were cool female figures and studly men, as well as wholly original characters that were barely even human. There were also some more risqué-themed drawings Ray had to brush past briefly to keep things light.
As thunder rumbled softly outside, Ray nudged Sid playfully, saying, "How's about we create a new hero togeth'a? One who always stands tall, even in the rain."
With that, they began to sketch, the storm outside gradually blending into the background as laughter filled their tiny sanctuary, the weight of the world lightened by imagination and shared creativity.
Right when they were having the most fun, though, Stinky came on-screen in one of his Yahoo Soda advertisements. Stinky came out topless, wearing little more than a boxer's get-up. He punched out his opponent with flashing red and white stars filling up a black screen before it cut to the boy with one foot on his downed opponent, one hand on his hip, and the other with a bottle of Yahoo Soda gripped in his oversized boxing glove.
The TV's volume remained muted, but Sid could still read the closed captioning, with Stinky's character's name displayed in square brackets: [YAHOO YOKEL] ALL'S I KNOW IS, YOU BETTER NOT TOUCH MY YAHOO Sid wanted to feel upset, but instead, he took inspiration from Stinky's character, and his ended up as a boxer, as well. He had some other familiar traits: like a giant, hooked nose, a thin mustache, and a missing tooth. However, being a cartoon dog helped to make it wholly original in Sid's eyes.
"I like it! What's its name gonna be?" Ray asked, grabbing the book to get a closer look.
"I dunno, you name it for me," Sid shied away from his creation.
Ray denied him, though, "No way, it's yours. We'll just wait 'til you can come up with a good name." The familiarity of the character's physical features only just now sunk into Sid and the fun of it all died down.
"It's already pretty late. Time flies when you're havin' fun," Ray declared. Sid suddenly let guilt wash over him again about everything, and Ray could see it on his face. "Hey, don't be like that!" Ray teased, beginning to tickle Sid.
Sid kicked and protested, "Stop! OKAY! Okay!" his voice cracked before he caught the frog in his throat and sighed. "Goodnight, Dad."
"Goodnight, Son. I hope you have good dreams," Ray shared as he walked out and closed Sid's door.
As Sid lay in his bed, the events of the day swirled in his mind like autumn leaves caught in a spiraling windstorm. He looked at his creation on paper and he found comfort in each pencil stroke. The concept had taken on hints of Stinky's goofy charm, Joey's prickly attitude, and Brainy's curious quirks, fusing into an absurd but heartwarming figure. The awkward encounter with Brainy replayed in his head, then Stinky's new look and the work it was tied to, and finally Joey. What a mess.
Sid's eyelids grew heavy, and he slipped into a dream where the character he had drawn came to life, morphing into a fantastical world where he teamed up with it to face challenges together, filled with hilarity, understanding, and camaraderie. In this twilight space, he let go of the weight of the day, surrendering to the comforting embrace of sleep, where the complexities of friendship and the stirrings of his own heart intertwined in a patchwork of color and joy.
When Sid woke up, he came to in a soiled bed, and body. "I came!" He finally did it. "I finally came!" After experiencing orgasms on a regular basis for years—ever since he started humping furniture as a toddler, switching to stuffed animals by the time he was a small child, then outright touching himself at his current age—he'd never ejaculated until now, and It felt like winning the puberty lottery. Sid's day was made, but his bedding would have to be washed. He enjoyed the rest of his weekend by staying inside, keeping away from the judgment of his peers, drawing lots of provocative pictures, and simply enjoying his newfound bodily function.