Chapter 31

NARRATOR | Lucas Li, District 6

TIME | Day 4

TRIBUTES REMAINING | 15

I watch as three words etch themselves into the sky. NO FALLEN TRIBUTES. The words fade slowly, a painful reminder of how far we still have to go.

I'm glad to see that nobody died today, even though I know I shouldn't be. After everything that's happened in the last few days, I think I've seen my share of death to last me a while.

Declan and I wordlessly prepare for sleep; Violet has been getting more paranoid by the minute, and she's started insisting that two of us have to keep watch instead of just one. Declan and I get to sleep first, and we'll have to take over midway through the night.

I crack my eyes open, watching Evelyn as she looks over us, and I shudder at the sight of her. The darkness obscures most of her face, but I can still see the evil expression in her eyes.

Where did everything go wrong? After so many days of being an outsider in this group, I finally had what I needed after the Bloodbath: power. Power over Evelyn, because she didn't want Declan to see her as a murderer. She killed the girl from Twelve, and I could've told him. Declan wouldn't have been able to look at his District partner the same again. With Evelyn on the outs, I would rise in her place.

I was stupid, though. I thought that keeping Evelyn's secret would let me hold something over her, to help me even more in the long run. I don't know how she did it, but she twisted it around on me, and now I have nothing.

Everything that happened yesterday is still seared in my mind. Violet, fueled by Evelyn and me in her ear, led us to the fire where we found the girl from Eight. Violet wanted to turn back the whole time, but we kept poking her, kept telling her we were in danger if we didn't. When we saw the girl, Violet said she couldn't kill her, and then we realized how screwed we were.

I was cornered, worried that the others would throw me under the train and make me kill the girl, and I did the only thing I could: expose Evelyn for what she did. I told them that Evelyn had killed that girl in the Bloodbath, so it only made sense for her to kill another if she already had blood on her hands.

And what did I gain? Nothing. Evelyn denied it, saying I'd made it up, and Declan believed her. I didn't realize how tightly bound he was by her, but he ate up everything she told him. Evelyn told Violet that I needed practice, that I was the worst with a bow and arrow. How could they keep dragging me around if I didn't know how to kill?

At that moment, Evelyn caught my gaze, and I could see everything in her eyes. This whole time, I thought that Violet had all of us under her control simply because we needed her to survive. In reality, Evelyn was the one pulling our strings like puppets, and there was nothing I could do to free myself.

And so I was forced to kill the girl. Karla was her name. I fired an arrow, and it hit her in the shoulder. Evelyn was right, I've never been good with a bow. Karla tried to escape, but she slipped and fell. Violet grabbed me by the arms, forced me to raise the bow, and aimed for me. And I let the arrow fly that killed her.

I should be mad at Violet, I know. She's been a mess for the last few days, and it's the reason why I'm in this whole situation. Really, the death of her brother is the whole reason why she's here, and it's the reason why our alliance is the way it is. I don't understand her obsession, though; she was close to her brother, but he died five years ago. Sure, I don't want my parents to watch me die, but they should just be grateful that I'm stuck in here and not them.

I'm not mad at Violet, though. Violet is the reason why I'm not dead yet, and she's the reason I have even a sliver of hope in these Games. I owe everything I have in here to her, and part of me sympathizes with her. The anger that originally fueled her through these Games has been replaced by fear, and Violet has turned into a neurotic mess at the hands of Evelyn and me. I'm still not sure how to feel about the whole thing; Violet needs to be driven to kill the other tributes or I don't stand a chance, but is emotional manipulation a price I'm willing to pay for that goal?

I watch as Evelyn looks over our group, her eyes reflecting the moonlight. I know that Violet was the one who forced me to kill Karla; she was the one who grabbed me and made me shoot that second arrow. Still, I feel resentment towards Evelyn for what happened. I can feel her grasp tightening over my throat, and there's nothing I can do to escape from her. I'm stuck in this position because there's nothing else I can do.

So here I am, back at the bottom again. No friends to truly count on and nobody looking out for me, the boy from Six who betrayed his own District partner to be here.

Would everything have been different if I'd just said no to Violet back in Training? If I had begged Dina to protect me in the Arena, she would've caved, I'm sure. We had our history back in Six, but I know how loyal she can be. If I had entered the Bloodbath by her side, she could be alive right now. Instead, she's dead and I'm miserable. Why can't I do just one thing right...

When I finally let my fear of Evelyn fade enough to sleep, Karla haunts my nightmares. I watch her die over and over again; soon enough, it's me who's being shot, and I'm unable to move as I watch Evelyn grab Violet's arms, pull back the bowstring in her hands, and fire.

It's only a matter of time before my dreams become a reality and Evelyn twists the knife into my back, but there's nothing I can do to save myself. Without Violet, I am a dead man walking... I am trapped in an alliance with a pack of wolves, and they have me cornered now. The minutes are ticking down until they rip out my heart, but I know that I'm trapped with nowhere to run.

Oh, Lucas, I can hear Dina sigh, just like she did back in Six. What have you done?