Chapter 42

NARRATOR | Ansel Voltaire, District 7

TIME | Day 7

TRIBUTES REMAINING | 11

"Stay still," Ashlyn mutters, holding Wyatt's injured leg in place. "If you won't let me treat this, it'll never get better."

"I know, but you just looked at it," Wyatt mutters, his eyes pointed to the sky.

I keep my mouth shut, observing my allies. Ever since the attack yesterday, we've all just pretended that nothing happened, that everything's the same as it was. Ashlyn has become obsessed with healing Wyatt's leg, and she's barely spoken a word to me all day.

How much longer are we going to keep pretending before we buckle up and accept the truth? Eddie is gone, and I feel his absence every second. He was a quiet boy, but his presence brightened up our group in a way that I'm only fully understanding now. With him and Safira gone, only Ashlyn and I are left from our original group, and Ashlyn's pretty much gone considering the way she's been acting.

My mind automatically thinks back to my conversation with Eddie. The last conversation we had before he died. He told me to keep calm, and I'm trying, but I don't know how much longer I can last. The suspicions I had back then have only grown stronger; Ashlyn is obsessed with Wyatt, and there's nothing I can do to get her back. The group we started in Training - the group that promised we'd protect each other - is gone. I have nothing left.

I can feel panic starting to crawl up my body, and I don't have any energy left to fight it. My support system is gone, and I'm left exposed in an Arena full of murderers. Violet attacked us out of nowhere a few days ago, and what's to say that she won't do the same thing today? The next time she does attack, I won't have Eddie by my side to protect me. Ashlyn and Wyatt will defend each other, and I'll be left to die.

The thought makes my blood boil - how did everything change so quickly? I've known Ashlyn since the first day of Training; I was always closer to Eddie, sure, but we all swore to each other that we'd stick together until the very end. Now, it feels like my last ally has forgotten about that promise. For a boy from Twelve who's an inch away from dying at any moment. Really, what does she see in that boy?

"I'm going to grab some berries," Ashlyn decides, grabbing a container from her bag. "I saw a bush down that way."

Ashlyn makes her way through the trees, leaving Wyatt and I alone. I glance over at the other boy to see him staring at me.

"You're lucky to have her," I blurt out before I can stop myself. "You'd be dead if she wasn't so obsessed with you."

"We're both lucky," Wyatt says lazily. "She's better than both of us put together."

"Oh, trust me, I know," I bite. "I've known her longer than you, remember that."

"Why won't you just leave me alone for once?" Wyatt says, propping himself up to get a better look at me. "This isn't a competition and you should know that. Ever since I've gotten here I've been nothing but nice to you and you want nothing to do with me."

"Yeah, I don't," I huff. I know I shouldn't be acting like this - Wyatt really hasn't done anything to me personally - but I just can't hold back my frustrations anymore. With Eddie's death and Verity's betrayal piled on top of everything else, I've reached my breaking point.

"Is that so horrible?" I push. "I don't want you here, and I never did, if I'm being honest. But it's fine - Ashlyn wanted you here, and Eddie agreed. I went along with it because I knew it was the best thing for our group. Well, the group's all gone now, so what was the point in the end?"

"Don't forget who split his leg open to protect Eddie yesterday," Wyatt says, pointing his finger at me. "And who protected you from Evelyn when she had you pinned to the ground? If you think I've done nothing for you, Ansel, you're too selfishly blind to see what really matters. And I won't stand for it anymore. All you do is make me feel like an outcast, clinging to everyone else and trying to drag them away from me. Well, there are only three of us left, so there's nothing you can do. I swore to Ashlyn that I'd protect her, and she swore that she'd stick by my side. If you don't want to be a part of this team anymore, then you can leave. "

"She swore the same thing to me," I spit. "If that even matters anymore. Sometimes it feels like it was all a lie."

"Ashlyn's a girl of her word," Wyatt shrugs. "I see the way she looks at you, Ansel, and you're an idiot if you don't see it. She wouldn't abandon you for a second. But if you really want to be jealous of what we have and walk away, that's your choice. If you want to be like Verity, I won't stop you."

"Who's leaving?" I hear Ashlyn say, and my heart nearly stops. Wyatt and I both freeze, turning to face the girl as she re-enters our camp.

"You tell me," Wyatt shakes his head. "Because I'm not."

I open my mouth to retaliate, but Ashlyn holds up her hand, stopping me in my tracks.

"I heard enough," she sighs. "I don't know what's come over you, Ansel, but it needs to stop. We are a team no matter how small we've become. We started as a team and we'll stay that way. If you're asking me to make a choice between the two of you, I'm not going to because you both mean the world to me. But that doesn't mean I don't love you. You need to get out of your head and start seeing that."

Everything starts hitting me all at once - the weight of this conversation, the aftershock of Eddie's death, and the realization of how horribly I've been acting. Tears start to spill down my face before I even have the time to stop them.

"I just don't want to lose you, too," I choke out, and I suddenly become aware that this is my biggest fear. Losing Ashlyn just like I've lost Safira and Eddie.

"I've clung to our group from the start because it helped me convince myself I was safe in here," I confess, "and that's why Safira's death was so hard for me. Because I felt all of it crumbling down and there was nothing I could do to keep that sense of security I had in the beginning. Eddie's gone now, and I just feel like I'm losing you, too..."

"Come on, Ansel," Ashlyn sighs, sitting next to me and wrapping her arms around me. A few feet away, Wyatt averts his eyes; he doesn't look upset, necessarily, but I still get some satisfaction at the sight.

"It's been a long couple of days," Ashlyn says, resting her hand on my shoulder. "But I don't know where this is all coming from, and I think you're riling yourself up. The three of us have to stick together, and I care about you just as much as I care about Wyatt. If I don't make it out of this Arena I need it to be one of you two."

"Without the two of you, I wouldn't be able to survive on my own," Ashlyn shrugs. "I know I wouldn't. And no offense to Wyatt, but he wouldn't survive without us, either."

I glance over to the other boy; he's nodding slowly, his eyes dark.

"I don't know about you," Ashlyn shrugs. "You're the lumberjack, and you're probably the strongest fighter out of all of us. So if you want to leave and try this out on your own, that's your decision. But if you think I'm choosing Wyatt over you, I'm not. That would be a stupid reason to leave all of this behind."

"I'm not leaving," I whisper through my tears. "I'm not. And I'm sorry that I made you feel like I might."

We sit in silence for a second, but I can't sit here any longer with Wyatt avoiding my gaze. I'm mature enough to know that I've mistreated him, and I'd rather have him as an ally than an enemy.

"And I'm sorry, Wyatt," I say a bit louder, causing him to glance up at me. "I let myself get paranoid and jealous and the way I treated you wasn't right. Ashlyn sees something in you that I don't, we both know that. But we are a team at the end of the day."

Wyatt just nods, his face turned up to the treetops. "All good," he sighs.

Ashlyn looks at me, and I just shrug. Wyatt and I will never be best friends, and I doubt we'll ever try to be. Still, I can't forget how important allies can be in this Arena. I'd rather be working with Wyatt than against him, that's for sure. If the time comes to start eliminating my competitors, though, I won't have a problem with taking Wyatt out of the Games. Everybody has to go at some point.

A/N - Y'allll Ansel is such a mess right now so sorry if this chapter came off a little too whiny lol, he's dealing with a LOT right now and I wanted to show that the exhaustion and turmoil of the Games can force people to their breaking points!

I FINALLY got around to doing some writing and the next chapter is one of my favorites I've ever written so I'm excited for you all to read it :)

~S