Chapter 51
NARRATOR | Minna Feinberg, District 3
TIME | Day 16
TRIBUTES REMAINING | 7
This feeling of complete and utter defeat is like nothing I've ever experienced. I have nothing left to give, nothing left to fight for, and it's devastating.
The energy I felt a few days ago at the Feast is long gone now. I'd felt hope then, a feeling that I could turn my fortunes around. Now I realize how naive I was.
The Feast was when everything started to slip away from me, really. I stuffed so much food into my tiny body that I couldn't handle it, and I threw it all back up. The extra food I stole only lasted so long, and I'm back to starving again... After a week of withering away, the return of that feeling is too much for me to handle.
If Kylie was here, what would she do?
That's the question I've asked myself countless times since I lost my best friend. Kylie always knew the answer, always knew the best way forward. These woods were her home, and I was just a guest. Now that she's gone, I'm lost.
I've fought hard for Kylie's sake, but there's only so much I can do at this point. I'm not the same girl I was in Training; I can forage for food now, and I know how to lay traps out. I know the signs that it's about to rain, and I'm able to hide myself in spots where the other tributes won't find me. I feel more capable than I've ever felt in my life, but it's just not enough. No matter how strong I am, the other tributes are stronger. No matter how tough I am, the Arena is tougher...
Nothing has gone right since I was left alone; when ash filled the sky, I ate up the last of my food and starved. I tried to put my foraging skills to use, but there was no food left in the Arena for me to find. Now that the Feast, my last hope, has come and gone, I have nothing left.
The dark mushrooms tremble between my fingers as I lift them from the ground. They weren't here a few minutes ago, and I know the Gamemakers put them here for a reason. They're deathcaps - poisonous and instantly fatal. The Gamemakers are taunting me because they know I'm at my lowest. You want a way out, so here it is. Give us the show we want.
The fiery part of me, the part that Kylie brought out, wants to spit in the face of those Gamemakers. They want me to take these mushrooms and die a dramatic death, and I shouldn't give them what they want. They've stripped me of everything I had except my life; it's the only thing I have left for myself.
And what about James, my mentor? I know he's out there rooting for me, but we both know my chances were slim to begin with. Nobody from Three has survived the Games in years. We're just not strong enough to compete with the others. I want to fight for my District, but I've been in this Arena so long that I've nearly forgotten the place I once came from. District Three slips farther and farther away from my grasp, and I've lost hope of returning home. I didn't have much to return to, to be honest. But it was something.
As Kylie's absence grows longer and longer, the determined part of me has disappeared back to where it came from. I have no fighting spirit left, no more energy to cling to what I have. The Gamemakers can take it; I'm too defeated to care anymore.
I hear a boom overhead, pulling me from my thoughts. Birds fly out of the trees above me, startled by the sudden sound. It's a cannon shot, the first I've heard since the Feast... another tribute gone, just like that.
I'm so close to the end, I can feel it. Only six of us are left - I could have never imagined making it this far, so who's to say I can't make it to the end?
I just can't afford to be that optimistic anymore. This pain I've endured for so long is taking over my mind, and I can't stand it anymore. Kylie's long gone, and I've done nothing but suffer ever since. It's time for me to finally rest.
Silence surrounds me as I stare down at the mushrooms in front of me. A month ago, I would have eaten them without hesitation; they look like any other source of food in this Arena, and I wouldn't have known any better. I've come so far from back then, and the fact that I'm still here proves that. But it wasn't enough. I know the danger that sits in the palm of my hand, but that knowledge doesn't matter anymore.
The mushrooms pass between my lips, and I swallow them whole before I have time to think twice. This is the best option for me... it's time to be free.
My lips are curled in a smile as I feel them go numb. I'm proud of myself, the girl from Three who everyone thought would be the first to die. I did alright, didn't I?
Somewhere out there, Kylie is smiling back at me. I know she's proud of me... we'll be reunited soon enough.
I can feel her arm extending towards me as I slip away. I feel myself reach out, and she pulls me gently away.
A/N - And now we say farewell to Minna :( we're down to five tributes! The other tribute who died will be revealed in the next chapter so stay tuned!
~S
PS sorry this chapter took literally a month lol I'm trying to write and it's just NOT HAPPENING