Chapter nine- I'm here
When the world seems cold and meaner still
When every step's a step up hill
I'm here
I'm here
When the friends you had don't call your name
When the rocks you leaned on, give way
I'm here
I'm here
I know you've been drifting lately
You're an island and I've got no boat
You think you have to go it alone
But you don't
I'm here
I'm here
-I'm here, Sweet talk radio
6 days later- April 10th
The three photo albums sat heavily on Jo's lap as she flicked through them to find the photos that she thought would be best to help jog her husbands memory. She had spent the last three days showing him every picture in sight and now thought that she needed to put a little more thought into what pictures she showed him.
Jo takes out a wedding photo from the album. Standing against the picturesque Mountain sunset background was Jo, wearing a white wedding dress with her arms wrapped around Chris, who was wearing a black tux. They looked at each other with their foreheads pressed against each other.
"Do you remember this?" Jo asks.
Chris grabs the photo and studies it for a few moments, "no Ma'am," he replies, almost bluntly.
"Are you sure? Take another look, I really think that if you look at it a little longer you will," Jo begs.
"I said no," Chris snaps, which causes Jo to jump slightly. He had never been one to have a short temper like that. It took at lot to get him to that point. Even an argument was more often then not was more of a heated discussion. There were of course arguments that surpassed the 'heated discussion' criteria, but not often.
"You're just stressed and tired, maybe you should get some sleep? Sarah said you tossed and turned a lot last night and you need to be rested enough for Physical therapy later," Jo suggests.
Out of the corner or her eye she could see Meredith, Leah, Heather, Steph and Shane standing outside of Chris' ICU room. Jo looked down at her watch, it was 8:30am, time for second rounds. They'd been standing there for a little while, at least 5 minutes if she had to guess.
"You can all stop hovering you know. You can come in and do rounds," Jo instructs.
Meredith nods her head, "lets go," she orders. And with that all of the interns followed her into the room. "Who's presenting?"
"I am," Shane replies. "Christopher Wilson, 28. Awoke from a prolonged coma 3 days ago three weeks post op from surgery to remove a fragment lodged in his brain stem. Christopher had a CT scan after he awoke from his Coma showing sings of developing a new identity. He was diagnosed with Hysterical Amnesia, in which a person does not recall their own identity or past. He woke with limited mobility, an expected side effect of brain injury and long term comatose state," Shane explains.
"And what's the course of treatment?" Meredith asks.
"PT for mobility issues. Memory jogging, including looking at videos and photos in the hope this with trigger the effected areas," Shane responds.
"Great, lets move on. Thanks Jo," Meredith replies.
"Ah, before you do, can you get him something to help him sleep?" Jo requests.
Meredith nods her head, "sure." She walks over to the trolley in the room and pulls out a medicine vial. She preps 5ml of the solution and injects it into his IV line. Jo watches as her husband calms and drifts off to sleep, almost instantly.
"Thank you," Jo replies.
"You're welcome. Lets go," Meredith and the interns exit as Bailey walks in.
"Chief Bailey, what are you doing here?" Jo asks.
"I just wanted to check in, make sure you were doing okay and to see if there's anything I can do for you?" Bailey asks.
"Invent a time machine so I can go back and make the accident never happen?" Jo asks hopelessly.
Bailey sighs and pulls up a chair and sits next to Jo, "You know I can't do that."
"I know," Jo responds.
"You know, you've never actually spoken about how the accident happened. It might help if you did?" Bailey questions. "You don't have to talk to me, but talking to someone would be of benefit. We have a great councillor here."
"It was a car accident. We were having an argument, on the way to pick up Theo from daycare, over money no less. He'd just gone out and booked a room at a fancy hotel so we could go on a baby-moon before Grace was born. We definitely couldn't afford what he spent and things got heated and I made him pull over so I could get out and walk. I was walking down the street and he was stoped at a traffic light. When it turned green he started to go, but a truck ran through a red light and hit the front passenger door side on. I watched it all. I called 911, but I froze, I didn't help him. I didn't know what to do, it was a mess. The ambulance, they were quick to arrive, 2 minutes I think. I don't really know though, it was all a blur. Before I knew it we were at the hospital and I was yelling at them to save him," Jo says emotionally.
"It sounds like you went though a lot. You're still going through at lot, make sure you're taking time for yourself... to look after you," Bailey advises.
"I can't. There's no time. Between this internship, looking after Chris and the kids," Jo argues.
"Go home Jo, leave the kids here and get some rest. I'll drop them to your place tonight, fed and clean," Bailey begins.
Jo interrupts, "I can't ask you to do that Bailey. They're my kids and Chris, he needs me."
"No, Jo, this isn't a discussion or an argument. I'm telling you. I can see the massive bags under your eyes. You've been here for 12 hour days since Chris woke, and I admire your love and dedication, I do. But you will burn out. It's okay to admit that it's all too much, that you need to take a break" Bailey replies.
Jo looks at Bailey with tears welling in her eyes, "I'm not okay. And I want to be okay, there's a lot of people who need me, but I'm not."
Scene break
She had been asleep on the couch for a few hours when she heard the doorbell ring. Jo slips her slippers onto her feet and walks to the front door. Her hair was a mess and her clean Pyjamas were now crinkled. Jo unlocks the door and sees Bailey standing with Theo and Grace in her pram next to Bailey.
"Hey guys," Jo smiles. Theo rushes over to Jo and gives her a hug.
"I Love you mummy," Theo says excitedly.
"I love you too buddy," Jo smiles. Theo lets go of his mum and runs to the living room and play with his toys.
Bailey chuckles and smiles at the interaction. Jo begins to grab the pram from behind and Bailey helps to push the pram in "And Grace is fast asleep. That's one perfect baby you have there."
Jo laughs, "most of the time she's pretty great, but this 'perfect all the time' thing is just an act she puts on for everyone who's not me."
"Tuck did the same thing, believe me," Bailey responds with a grin. "Did you get some sleep then?"
Jo nods her head, "I did. I came home and had a bath with a glass of wine. God, I haven't done that in a long time. I had something to eat and then fell asleep on the couch. Thank you," Jo says great fully, "I needed that."
"I'm glad to hear it, Bailey says as she goes to walk out the door. But Jo?" Bailey asks as she turns back around.
"Mm?" Jo responds.
"Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. If it's too much and you need a break, you can always come to me," Bailey states firmly.
"Thank you," Jo smiles. "Amelia called while I was taking a bath, she's discharging Chris tomorrow afternoon. I'm going to take him to Connecticut for the weekend once he's okay to fly."
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Bailey asks.
"Pictures aren't enough. And I think that seeing his family will be good for him, and they'll be able to help me," Jo replies.
"Are you taking the kids?" Bailey asks.
Jo nods her head, "yeah, I think so. It's be good for them to see their grandparents again."
"Okay good. Take as much time as you need. If you need more then a weekend, tell me," Bailey responds.
"I will. And thank you again," Jo says.
Bailey nods her head and then turns around. Jo watches as she leaves and then closes the door.