AN: To avoid a MASSIVE spoiler, I changed something in this chapter. Whenever Captain America: Brave New World comes onto D I will add it to this story.
Chapter 31 Deadpool 2
Tony's point of view
"All right, come on everyone, we're still a bit behind. This is the last film we will watch today."
Two years after the events of the first film, Wade Wilson has become a mercenary who works worldwide, killing various criminals. Following an aborted attempt on the life of the head of a drug cartel operating in his home city, Deadpool returns home to his girlfriend Vanessa Carlysle to celebrate their anniversary. Deadpool gifts Vanessa a skeeball token, in reference to their first date, and the two agree to start a family.
"That's pretty cute" said Pepper
"What is Skeeball?" Harry asked.
"It's only God's favourite sport!" Constance exclaimed.
Later that night, the drug lord attacks Wade at his home and, in the process, Vanessa dies. Wade chases the criminal through the streets and embraces him on the road as a truck runs into them and kills the drug lord.
"OK, killing is wrong but every so often it's essential"
Six weeks later, Deadpool decides to kill himself by blowing up his apartment with several barrels of high-grade fuel. During his 'death', Wade has a vision of Vanessa in the afterlife; she says that his heart is not in the right place yet, leaving Wade confused. Colossus arrives at the now-destroyed apartment and brings a dismembered Wade back to the Xavier Mansion in an attempt to recruit Deadpool into the X-Men and help him get through his grief.
"Wait a second, Xavier Mansion as in Charles Xavier?"
"Yes"
"Wow"
Cable, a cybernetic mutant in the future, is standing over his killed family, and he travels to the past to get revenge on the killer or to stop his family from ever dying by the killer's hand.
"Oh yes," Loki said sarcastically, "Revenge is a great idea!"
In the present, Deadpool eventually agrees to join the X-Men and, together with Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead, responds to a situation involving a young mutant named Russell Collins, who calls himself Firefist. He is able to produce extremely high temperatures from his fists that can ignite nearby objects.
"Damn mutants" Vice President Ross growls. "The world would be a much healthier and better place without mutants."
"Now Thaddeus." President Ellis chides, "We need to learn to live in harmony with mutants."
"Friends with mutants, right!" Ross growls.
"That, Mr Vice-President, is a line from The Simpsons" said Constance, glaring at him. Hands on hips.
"What episode?" Ross asks.
"Season 9, Episode 4 Treehouse of Horror VIII" Constance growls, eyes flashing
"Hey big guy, the sun's getting real low" said Wade
"Oh you didn't!" Bruce yelled.
"Yeah, I did" said Wade sheepishly
"What?" I asked.
"Wellllllll, I kinda sorta used the Hulk's anti-Hulk line." said Wade
After several failed attempts to calm down Russell, Wade discovers that the headmaster and staff of the orphanage have abused him, physically, and ends up shooting one of the staff; this leads to both Deadpool's and Russell's arrest, whereupon they are restrained with collars that negate their mutant powers, including Deadpool's healing factor which means Deadpool's cancer begins to briskly kill him.
"Are we stuck in a time loop with this film?" Constance asked.
"Maybe" I replied.
Cable arrives to Deadpool's timeline and asks a couple of people what year it is after throwing his gun into the trunk of their car. They call the question dumb, but he quickly incapacitates them with taser shots before taking their beer and truck.
Meanwhile, Wade and Russell are taken to the Ice Box; an isolated mutant prison that houses several dozen mutant criminals, including Black Tom Cassidy, wearing the same collars.
Bruce angrily stood up and glared at Ross.
"Who thought those collars were a good idea?" He snarled, his eyes glowing dangerously green.
"Bruce, do you need a lullaby?"
"Maybe"
The same night, in a motel, while watching the news, Cable uses his eye's advanced scanning and holographic capabilities to scan his many weapons and pick out the perfect pieces needed to build a better gun. Then he shows skills of engineering as he is able to make a new futuristic rifle using parts which are outdated for his time.
"Hmmm… using old technology for new technology…" I murmured.
"That won't make it…. Ummmm…. Incapable of making mistakes, but it might improve some bugs and glitches in the more modern tech, and it would save a lot of it from going to landfill, so… bonus. I know there is one word for incapable of making mistakes but my pestilential nuisance of an asinine excuse for a brain isn't exactly braining right now, so… incapable of making mistakes it is" said Constance.
"Infallible" said Bruce
"Huh?" Constance asked, bewildered.
"The word you are searching for is infallible" said Bruce
"Oh. Thank you. Lousy brain. It doesn't matter how much vocabulary I study, my brain just does this and BOY is it annoying".
The next day, during Wade and Russell's incarceration, the facility is broken into by Cable, the cybernetic mutant from the future who has travelled to the past in order to kill Russell. Deadpool manages to throw himself and Cable out of the prison, while Russell stays inside. Deadpool has another vision of Vanessa, who helps him realize that he has a chance to save the boy and redeem himself for not being able to save Vanessa.
"Do it dude, be the hero" said Peter.
Deadpool organizes a team of other mutants with Weasel to fight Cable and save Russell, consisting of Domino, Bedlam, Shatterstar, Zeitgeist, Vanisher, and Peter (a normal human), whom he calls X-Force. Together, X-Force launch their assault on a prison truck transporting the prisoners and Russell to a new site by leaping from a plane and parachuting in. Though, all members other than Deadpool and Domino die in the landing due to various accidents.
"Well crap!" I exclaimed.
Domino infiltrates the truck but encounters Cable, who launches his assault and tries to kill Russell. During the fight on the truck between Deadpool and Cable, Russell manages to free Juggernaut who devastates the truck and escapes with Russell.
"OK, well… at least we tried, right?"
"At least you tried to do the right thing"
Cable decides to team up with Deadpool after realizing the Juggernaut is free. Together, they agree to stop Russell from killing the abusive headmaster, an act which sets Russell down a path that ends with the death of Cable's family – the reason for Cable travelling back to the past in the first place.
"Wow, this is so reminiscent of the case involving that YouTube family… the mother was arrested for several crimes against minors. So was the mother's 'therapist' friend."
"I think I know who you mean."
"She has 6 kids. The channel was called [name redacted]"
"Yes, I know who you mean now."
"Deadpool agrees to help Cable if he gives him thirty seconds to talk to Russell to try to prevent him from killing the headmaster.
Deadpool, Cable, and Domino arrive at the orphanage to stop Russell and the Juggernaut, but face difficulty fighting the latter, who proves too powerful for them. However, Colossus arrives and distracts him long enough for Cable and Deadpool to catch up with Russell.
What ever happened to the family with 19 kids?"
"Oh, the eldest was arrested and sent to jail for crimes against minors. The eldest daughter married, and there has been an abundance of grand babies born in the past couple of years".
"What about the other family they were friends with?"
"Well, they weren't in legal trouble, but their show got cancelled"
"Awwww"
"Again, an abundance of grandchildren arrived"
"Well, that's nice at least"
Cable and Deadpool manage to reach Russell before he has a chance to kill the headmaster, and Deadpool tries his best to talk him down; even putting on the collar to halt his healing factor and offer himself in the headmaster's place. Cable takes a shot at Russell, but Deadpool leaps in front of the bullet and is shot in the heart.
"Are all the grandchildren homeschooled?"
"No, 6th eldest send their children to school. All the first gen children were homeschooled, except for the cousin, who is an only child. She went to school. The 4th eldest had her oldest son enrolled in public school, but they didn't continue with it. She decided to start homeschooling again."
"OK. We are a little off-topic here".
After an extended and long death scene, Wade finally dies and succeeds in saving Russell, who loses his desire for revenge, and succeeds in saving Cable's family in the future; evidenced by the formerly burned teddy bear Cable has been carrying returning to normal. Deadpool's death allows him to reunite with Vanessa, though she once again tells him that it is not yet his time.
"What about that family with the controlling mother and two sets of multiples?"
"The parents divorced, one of the sextuplets got institutionalized by the mother because he has 'special needs' but it is actually more a case of the mother is a controlling bitch and has zero empathy."
Feeling remorseful, Cable travels back in time to just before the fight and discreetly places the skeeball token he had previously taken from Deadpool over his heart, stopping the bullet that would have otherwise killed him. The headmaster is run over by Dopinder following some additional anti-mutant remarks. During the mid-credits, Deadpool has Negasonic Teenage Warhead and her girlfriend, Yukio, repair Cable's time-travelling device to allow him to perform several tasks, including saving Vanessa and Peter from their deaths. They also shoot an alternate version of Deadpool in an effort to "fix the timeline."". Finally, actor Ryan Reynolds after he reads and approves the movie script for the Green Lantern film.