'On the edge above the world
No matter what I do I can't do one thing -'
Cindy couldn't help but think about the look Lola gave during class - it wasn't a glare, it wasn't malicious, but it wasn't nice either.
'Breathe
(More than you know) (More than you-)
Just, breathe, breathe, breathe
(More than you know) (More than you know)
Just, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe
(More than you kno-o-o-o-oh)
She remembered how the kids at Lola's table glanced at her, the same look. It made her uncomfortable enough that she even tried talking to Keemia Marko. She said that ever since her father became Sandman, it had been hard to make any friends, much less seem like a person worth people's respect. It turned out parents, especially mothers, didn't want their children to become associated with the daughter of a criminal.
It made her think,
About herself, About her dad,
Her mother.
'On top the world (Can't sleep)
A throne of air, (The only thing) No one cares, (On my own) A lonely king, (Alone)
I'm-in-the-world-and-I-can't-even-
Breathe (Breathe)'
In science class, she overheard from her classmates how 'Mr. Parker' made things seem straight forward and clear, while this current teacher seemed not at all into it and was just here for the paycheck. There was a clear charisma and enthusiasm that was slowly infectious from Mr. Parker that this new teacher didn't have - not here for a long time, but certainly left an impression.
And once again, she felt Miles zip away from the school grounds.
(More than you know) (More than you-)
Breathe, breathe, breathe
(More than you know) (More than you know)
Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe
(More than you kno-o-o-o-oh)
Waiting for Miles at the end of the school day, Rafferty approached her, asking if she wanted to go to her place to her hang out. She tried putting on her best smile saying that Miles wanted to take her somewhere. Rafferty told her to stop smiling at once, but said that it was okay. Not long after her, she spotted Keemia standing nearby staring at her with the intent to say something. It was obvious to Cindy that Keemia's past experiences were keeping her from stepping forward.
When it got to a point that Cindy, herself, considered taking action to start the conversation, Miles arrived with Hailey. When asked if she was ready to go, Cindy said yes, but not without glancing at Keemia, who was crestfallen in her inability to even strike up a conversation.
Glancing back at her one more time, Cindy saw her sitting under the shadow of a tree in the school courtyard all by her lonesome.
Remembering Marie and Mr. Harris,
Cindy remembered Marie's words -
"I wanna see her again... The smile she had was sad..."
'On the edge above the world
No matter what I do I can't do one thing
Breathe -
Just, breathe, breathe
(More than you know)
Just breathe, breathe, breathe
(More than you know) (More than you-)
Breathe, Breathe, Breathe, Breathe
(More than you kno-o-o-o-oh)
Sleep (Please)
Sleep (Please)
Let me sleep'
There was a tap on her shoulder - Hailey.
Her fingers moved, and Cindy read, 'We're here.'
Cindy paused the music on her phone. They were in the suburban neighborhood. Green grass, nice houses, nice looking people. Peter and Mary-Jane's house was almost picture perfect - white wooden boards, mowed grass, white driveway, fenced yard. It was evident, however, that an attack had happened on the house during the invasion - there were patches were the paint was more whiter, some patch work that looked to have been finished recently.
There was the sound of a door opening from the back.
"Pete?" Miles called out.
A beautiful young woman with red hair walked out from the drive way, she beamed a smile as soon as she saw Miles and Hailey.
"Miles! Got here a little early. Peter wanted to whip up some food. He got excited about learning a new recipe. And this is... Cindy?"
Cindy made a smile and hated how she recognized how she waved hello, like she did when first meeting Miles and his mother.
She could see that there was an acknowledgement or recognition coming from this woman, Mary-Jane Watson, but Mary-Jane didn't bring it up and made a warm smile.
"Nice to finally met the only person who could out run Miles AND Peter. You guys head on in, Pete wanted me to get something from his office, I'll be with you guys in a little bit."
As they neared the front door, the aroma of cooked meat permeated through it. The moment it was opened it were as though the world inside the house was made of juicy, rich meat. The scent alone made Cindy's mouth water so much she had to swallow.
She averted her eyes and frowned - old habits died hard, especially when it came to foods she liked.
The kitchen was visible from the front door, a window frame cut out from the wall separating the kitchen to the dining table, giving view to Peter cooking at the stove.
He looked up, "Oh, hey, guys! Its almost done, trying something a little different this time."
Miles chuckled, "Listen, man, I know you work at home now but that doesn't mean you need to get like this."
"Gotta have another way to relieve stress than fighting criminals, and it feels nice to have a hobby, even though I've only gotten the hang of it recently. You've been doing okay, Cindy?"
"Yeah." She said.
They settled at the dining table as Mary-Jane entered the house through the back door.
She gave Peter what he needed and sat down at the table.
Cindy couldn't help but look away, something about her just felt off.
"Peter's told me what happened, Cindy. And how he has this strange connection with you."
Cindy looked at her.
"And from what I've heard from Miles, you've been through a lot. So, where are you most comfortable to start?"
Cindy paused, not certain of what to say. When the clicking of the stove turning off came from Peter finishing cooking, she felt the obligation to say something, not wanting to be rude.
"I guess... the connection thing."
"Is it just you and Peter?" Mary-Jane said.
"You said you felt who I was before we even met." Miles added.
"Right... Um... Its... odd. It seems to only happen to people that I know or like. I didn't even realize until yesterday that I started sensing what people were feeling. I felt those people in the black suits wanting to kill Peter, that's why I..."
'Is it the strongest with Peter?' Hailey gestured, Miles relied the meaning to Mary-Jane.
"Yeah." Cindy said as Peter was giving out the plates that had individual burgers on them.
"Is it because," Peter said as he sat down at the table, "We were bitten by the same spider?"
"Probably." Cindy then devoured the hamburger while everyone watched on in awe - when she was sucking her fingers for the little burger grease she finally noticed their looks and blushed, "Uh, sorry."
"...Good thing I bought some other stuff before cooking." Peter said as he stood back up, "Sandwich? Turkey or chicken? Condiments?"
Cindy couldn't look at anyone in the eye, "Both. Three with four slices each. Nothing else."
"...And I thought Peter had a big appetite." Mary-Jane blurted out.
Cindy frowned and hunched.
"Oh, sorry! Did I say that out loud?"
Cindy meekly held up a hand, "No, its fine... Its fine..."
As Peter prepared her second meal, the small talk continued -
Comparisons about powers, revealing that Cindy's powers were more or less the same as Miles's and Peter's on a fundamental level. But there were questions that Cindy didn't want to answer, like further elaboration to her life after she got her powers. Why her mother died, etc. Everyone saw the discomfort on Cindy and backed away from those questions.
Then the inevitable question came -
"So," May-Jane said, "Why run around at night as a vigilante? And I hate to ask, but, its going to come up eventually - are you connected to Black Widow in anyway?"
"Uh..." How does she say it, "...I grew up with my powers and it... affected me."
"As in..." Peter said, prompting her to continue as he set her sandwiches down in her plate. Cindy gulped - she had bothered coming this far, she might as well sing her heart out.
Yet she hesitated.
"I... I feel an urge to... hunt... I call it the Calling."
"What happens if you don't appease it?" Miles said.
Cindy didn't answer.
Mary-Jane sighed, "...We are aware of what happened at the shipyard." Cindy jumped, "Black Widow fighting against the Imposter. But, why did you cover your eyes? And... more importantly, why did you -"
"I didn't -" Cindy blurted, then paused, having second thoughts about coming here.
"Cindy," Peter said, "We're just making sure you're not going to, well... become a Super-Slasher."
"If it helps," Mary-Jane said, as Hailey put a comforting hand on Cindy's shoulder, "Freddie Waltkins, the first person you... dealt with, had a long rapt sheet. It was only because he was associated with Fisk's men did he not get arrested sooner."
"Were... all of them from Fisk?" Cindy muttered.
"Some. But they were mostly of people who had criminal records. Some small, some big. The only one missing and likely who got away was Harris Porter. Although... every time I think about his record its feels fishy."
"Was he framed for something?" Miles asked.
"Its the only reason I can think of - he was only charged with domestic abuse but it turns out he was going to get a lot more until a blind friend of ours stepped in. He did the best he could but it turns out his wife - ex-wife, is in league with influential people in the city."
Mary-Jane sighed once again and Cindy could hear her say very quietly, almost inaudible, "...Its always..."
Everyone at the table took a moment to eat some of their meal before starting the conversation again,
With Cindy daring to answer the question previously, "...Its complicated. I, uh, the Calling - I've thought about it and it could only be because the spider that bit Peter was already partially mutated and was fighting for its life when it bit me."
"...And you think that instinct transferred to you?" Peter said.
Cindy stiffly nodded, "...What happened at the Shipyard... its what happens when the Calling becomes too much or... when I lose control. I saw that Freddie guy shoot the officer and I..." Cindy took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
"Does your dad know about this calling?" Peter said.
Cindy's eyes shot open and shook her head, "No! He's finally become the happiest he's been in years, I don't want to put more on the pile."
"What else did your powers do?" Miles said, changing the topic, "I mean, you said you grew up with them."
"My eyes are more sharper, and they're bigger than usual because of that. I can hear more better than maybe even you or Peter,"
"What would happen if you go to a concert then?" Peter said.
"I wear ear buds for a reason. Uh, I'm also tall because of it. I've speculated that my eating habits put the fat into my muscles rather than the usual places. And I can obviously go faster than you and Miles without using my webs."
"Why don't you swing, by the way?" Miles said, "When I was chasing you that one night you kept zipping but you barely swung, if you did."
Cindy remembered that small space, "I, uh... never really got the chance to learn. It also... kinda just feels weird in my arms."
Hailey's fingers moved - 'Right! Your webs are organic! Is it a health issue if you leave them inside?'
"Not really. It does feel weird if I shoot a line out and reel it back inside."
"Anything bad if you leave it in for hours that way?" Peter said.
Cindy grimaced, "If I leave it in there for a long while, maybe like a day or two, it'll feel like I have backed up mucus."
Everyone else grimaced hearing that.
"Well, I can teach you how to swing, besides work I've basically got a lot of free time." Peter said.
"Yeah, sorry to say, I've got enough on my plate as it is already. Spiderman-ing, school stuff, helping by mom -" Miles paused, then he looked at Peter, "Actually, whatever happened to the hologram stuff you made? You got it all, right? I even helped you pack some of them."
"Uh... Had to make ends meet." Peter said, "Don't worry, I broke it down to basic stuff. No grandma or kids are gonna have hologram care-takers. Maybe hologram clocks."
"Oh," Mary-Jane said, "So that's where that cash came from."
"Yeah..." Peter said, "My ends as Spidy prevented me from getting a job that way.."
"You made hologram training for Miles?" Cindy said, waiting for the right time.
"Had to leave with MJ to Symkaria, had to teach Miles that way."
"They were great, at the end of the day." Miles said, "Sad you can't experience them."
Cindy made a small frown and looked away a moment, "Yeah..."
"Well," Peter said, "I guess that depends on whether you're a hands-on person, hearing, or learn through watching. Tomorrow's the weekend, you have anything to do then, Cindy?"
Cindy shook her head.
"I can... probably squeeze in some time for a lesson or two today, that alright?"
"Uh, no. I actually got something to do after this."
"No problem."
"Oh!" Mary-Jane said, "Peter said that you could make your outfit out of webs? Its just something I've thought that was weird, reading about it from my viewers."
Cindy merely held up her open palm and everyone saw a white mass pushing up from her hand, from her palm to her fingers, making everyone at the table yelp and become startled.
"Oh! Oh, that's just your webs..." Peter said, then nervously laughing.
Cindy then used her other hand to start wrapping the webs around her hand with experience and signs of finesse until she had a form-fitting web-glove. She even showed how flexible it was by flexing her hands.
Hailey's fingers moved - 'Maybe you can give me some tips?'
"Uh..." Cindy said, looking at the others.
"I think its just something spider people have innately." Mary-Jane said, before looking at Peter, "You had that first suit for how long until you made the white spider one?"
"Uh..." Peter laughed nervously, "Long time."
After that, everyone started talking with each other, some of them getting into the conversation by overhearing others. After a moment, it was down to Miles and Peter talking about college and Mary-Jane and Hailey talking about her podcast, the New Normal. Somethings that Mary-Jane didn't understand through sign-language Hailey used her phone for texts.
However, rivers flow their own individual way and Cindy flowed to the side overtime, unable to make any contributing input to the established conversations without breaking the flow completely.
Cindy looked at them all,
She pulled her phone -
'I'm-in-the-world-and-I-can't-even
Breathe (Breathe)'
Although delving into her own world, every now and then she glanced at everyone else to see whatever it was they were doing - the ladies going from the kitchen to grab a drink then going to the room opposite to it to look at something, by Mary-Jane's grin. She vaguely heard something about pictures.
By the smiles of Peter and Miles, with Peter taking the lead in the conversation, it seemed that Peter was recounting a story from his days in college, maybe even more.
For a moment, she stopped the music and heard a name -
Gwen Stacy.
Whoever she was, Cindy could tell that she meant a lot to Peter. Not just by the emotions that were radiating from him and getting picked up by her senses, but the way he smiled, they way his eyes glinted with a joy and happiness, as well as a undertone of sadness.
This Gwen Stacy was dead.
If the emotions of a person were different temperatures of water, Cindy could feel the water cool down.
She frowned. Feeling this made her think about the other people in her life -
Or rather, how she would be without them.
Her Father,
Her Mother -
Her head perked up.
She realized -
She didn't have many people in her life.
It was odd, thinking about it now.
It was just her,
Those two,
And... that was it.
She didn't realize she was tearing up until she felt its hot caress streak down her cheek.
Peter suddenly looked over his shoulder and saw Cindy standing all by her lonesome in the corner of the room.
Doing so, caused Miles to notice as well.
Cindy wiped the tears away as Peter got up from the table and walked to Cindy.
"I know that you aren't really okay right now," Peter said, "But, anything else you want to get off your chest?"
Cindy shook her head.
"Okay. I'm not going to pry, but..." Using his web shooters, Peter snatched Cindy's phone, she would have caught it had she not wiped another wave of small tears, but even then she felt that there was no mischief or malice in Peter's intent.
After a moment of tapping later, Peter handed back her phone, revealing that there was a new contact on her phone list.
"Anytime you need to talk, my numbers right there."
Cindy blinked, "Okay..."
"Miles told me you got his, so, if its not too long he can chip in as well. Listen Cindy, we still don't know much, but, something tells me you really went through a lot. Can't really imagine it - I've lived with my powers since I was fifteen, but you grew up with yours. As the older Spiderperson I have to say this - you gotta open up to the right people. Keeping it all in without talking to anyone, the consequences are worse than being alone."
"...Okay."
After parting ways with everyone, Cindy instead of going home she made her way back to the park where she met Harris and Marie. Even though it was nearing evening, she had hoped to chance upon them both being here.
Something about Marie reminded Cindy of herself.
Was it her circumstances?
Was it because of her stance on her mother?
Was it pity?
Cindy sighed as she sat down on the park bench.
She could feel her mother staring at her from her vantage point,
Far, far away.
She remembered her Mother's vow against the monsters vying for her -
Did she know?
Would she kill Harris?
Like those that she made 'missing?'
She tried to ignore them, those dreams. Climbing walls, swinging through the night, running along or atop buildings.
The fights,
The crying,
The screaming,
The hunger,
The emotions like beacons of fire.
The moth drawn to the flame, but never burning - putting the fire out but taking a coal or more, keeping it safe.
Police sirens went off in the distance, and, sure enough, she spotted Peter swinging through the sky. She stared for a moment where he disappeared from view before looking down and staring at her hands.
What was preventing her from becoming like Peter and Miles?
What was preventing her from becoming like her mother?
What was she so afraid of?
The Calling.
The Smiling Spider.
Herself.
She sighed and leaned back against the back rest of the bench, leaning her head back.
She took hold of her phone.
Tap.
'Im-in-the-world-and-I-can't-even-
Breathe (Breathe)'
She closed her eyes,
Then opened them.
'(More than you know) (More than you-)
She sat up, looked back, peered through the trees, hearing beyond them.
'Breathe, Breathe, Breathe
(More than you know) (More than you know)
She looked at her bag, knowing full well what was inside. She glanced around, looking for Harris or Marie. Neither were seen.
'Breathe, Breathe, Breathe, Breathe
(More than you kn-o-o-o-oh)
Tap.
"Its her ain't it?"
"Yeah. The only one."
"Uh-huh. C'mon, lets give her a personal meet n greet."
"With a healthy diet of iron and sandwiches."
"Bet you guys had a lot of dates at Prom with that charm."
Everyone looked up at a woman wearing a spider man costume under a green jacket and wearing black and white sneakers clinging to the wall above them.
"Doth Mother know, of all the games thou play thou haveth none for thyself?" She continued, waved her hand articulately.
"Its that Spider-chick from the video!" One of them pointed out.
Cindy gasped and put her hands over her mouth, "Omigosh! Am I famous?" She leapt off the wall and landed before them, "C'mon guys, and, uh, girl, take it from me, fame ain't everything. Nor is it worth -"
She looked over at the person they were ganging up on - a young brunette with purple highlights in her hair, tan skin, and glasses.
Uh oh, she thought.
"- ganging up on a young woman. C'mon." She continued, then shoo'd with her hand, "Just go home and eat some ice cream or something. By nice to your momma's for once, tell 'em you love 'em."
The group paused, glancing at each other then looking at their target. Then back at the Spider Woman in front of them.
Who raised her fists, "C'mon, guys. You all know I know kung fu."
Frowns appeared on the faces of the group before they started to turn away, shaking their heads. Although they decided it wasn't worth it, it didn't stop them from shooting glares back over their shoulders.
Once they were out of sight, Cindy hung her head and sighed.
Ironically enough, she was hoping that a fight would happen -
She turned to face the young woman she saved
- because now, she has to deal with -
"Omaigosh, thank you so much!" She gasped, looking Cindy up and down, "I didn't really believe the video of you fighting the guys in the black suits before uh... But you really are a Spider woman!"
"...Yeah."
"I'm Danika Hart, by the way. From the Danikast."
"I can see..."
"Sorry about that. It was just some people that are disagreeing with me about my podcast, I only wanted to get a bite to eat."
"Uh huh..."
"Things have been antsy, though. With the Devil's Breath incident, that Roxxon stuff, and just recently the Symbiote invasion. And now recently there's the cases of people suddenly becoming aggressive out of no-where. I guess there are just a lot of people looking for an escape of some kind."
"I..." Cindy paused, realizing what Danika said, "Yeah... I guess. And I guess a lot of people don't know how to find the healthy ones."
Danika flashed a sad smile, "Right? With everything we have today, its just weird how things can easily go ignored or be done in a drastic way."
"Yeah..."
"So!" Danika's eyes sparkled in fascination, "Is it official that you're the new Spiderperson in New York?"
Cindy flinched, "U-uh..."
"And why aren't you wearing a mask like the Spidermen?" Danika said, waving a hand around her mouth, "Well, with your hair THAT thick I imagine it would be uncomfortable wearing a traditional mask like the other two."
"W-well... You're not..."
"Anything different you have compared to the Spidermen? The OG has his gadgets, his experience, moving like a gymnast, the one in Harlem has his electricity. In that video, you moved really, rea-lly fast. You a speedy Spiderman - sorry, Spiderwoman?"
"Um..." Cindy found herself meekly raising her hands, leaning away despite Danika being no where near Cindy.
"And, uh... I can tell you haven't found your stars and stripes yet - or, rather webs and suit. Y'know, the webs on the suit?"
"Y-ye -"
"Oh! Shoot! What time is it?! Oh, I'm late picking up my order! Hope its still warm by the time I get there." Danika picked up her stuff, then waved as she jogged away, "Sorry, see ya, nice to meet ch'ya!"
Cindy eyed where Danika disappeared for a moment then went to the nearby alley wall and leaned against it with one arm. She put her forehead against her forearm and let out an exhaustive moan, her voice cracking as she did. In that moment, a mother and her son was passing by the alley. Hearing Cindy, they looked over. The son opened his mouth, about to point, but the mother took her son's hand and scurried off seeing a possible nutjob in the alley wearing a spider man costume.