Laterigrade

LAT-er-i-greyd | adjective

1: having a sideways manner of moving, as a crab

"Miss Granger," he announced, popping his head into her private research laboratory, "tomorrow the Moly flowers will be blooming in the Insh marshes. As my apprentice, you will accompany me to harvest them."

She nodded. "Of course, sir, I look forward to it." She had, of course, known that the flowers should be ready for harvest soon but had been waiting for him to say something about it.

"We will meet at noon in the Great Hall then."

oOo

Hermione slogged quietly through the marshes behind her master. Upon their arrival in the marsh he had wordlessly handed her a pair of galoshes, which she had donned without comment while he did the same. The wet ground sucked at the soles of her footwear with every step, making a loud shlorp at every footfall.

"Would you be quiet?" Professor Snape groused.

"I'm trying," she answered shortly. "How exactly am I supposed to keep my shoes from sticking? Anyway, it's not like the flowers are going to run away, is it?"

He rolled his eyes at his apprentice. "It's not the flowers I'm concerned about."

"He's quite right, you know," piped a tiny, squeaking voice. "It's dangerous out here."

Hermione's eyes roamed around the flat lands around them, searching for the source of the words. A step backward was met with a loud crunch.

"Ack!" squealed the voice. "You've killed me!"

She and the professor stared down at the shattered form of a small crayfish beneath her shoe. Before either of them had a moment to react, a shriek filled the air. Severus whirled around toward the sound and was greeted by the sight of what he had taken to be a large grey rock rising from the water.

"Oh, shit," he hissed. The rock had taken shape before them, its large stalk eyes locking in on them. The crab opened its maw and screamed its anger at what, they could assume, was the death of the talking crayfish. Had he been any other man, the sight of a giant, four-meter-tall crab menacingly waving its giant, two-meter-long claw – the claw alone was longer than he was tall – at them may have resulted in the loosing of his bladder but Severus Snape was not any other man.

"Holy mother of god," Hermione whispered, remaining where she was behind him. "What do we do?"

A good question. He was reasonably certain the thing would not understand their words to be reasoned with, which left fight or flight. They probably wouldn't be able to outrun it. Apparition, maybe, but dammit, he needed those flowers. It was the only day they would bloom until next August. "Blow it up," he said hesitantly, hating the way it came out almost as a question.

"Reducto!" she shouted. A blast of blue light flew past him and hit the crab squarely in the chest. Really, it just seemed to piss the thing off further. With a roar it was scuttling in their direction, moving sideways out of the water and onto the land toward them.

"Expulso!" Severus aimed at one of its eight legs and was rewarded when a chunk of the appendage blasted off, resulting in a spray of bright blue blood. With what almost sounded like a growl, the crab shuddered and the injured limb dropped to the ground.

Hermione followed suit, blasting off another of the creature's limbs. Seeming to understand what they were doing, the creature roared again and charged. They dove to either side, Severus getting a mouthful of marsh grass before scrambling to his feet and beginning to run. As the thing's giant claw closed around him and he felt the ground falling away, Severus realized how right he had been about being unable to outrun it. And it was running minus two legs. He struggled – in vain, he knew, but what good would he be if he didn't try – to free his wand arm from where it was pinned by his side.

"Granger!" he yelled. "Hermione!" If she didn't make puffs out of the damn monster soon, he'd end up as crustacean chow. What an exceptionally unfortunate way to greet your death. If the giant snake hadn't killed him, he would be very upset if this thing did.

She pulled up short and turned back. Snape was squirming in the grip of the creature, dangling five meters off the ground. I hope he's not afraid of heights, whispered a little voice in the back of her mind. "Expulso!" she shouted again, aiming for the joint of the giant claw, then cushioned his sudden fall with, "Molliare!" Missing its main weapon, the crab looked much less intimidating but she had no intention of underestimating it. It would be just her luck for it to pull another one out of its ass and come at them again. "Avada kedavra!"

Severus's eyes snapped to the overgrown crab cake in time to see it sway slightly and worry that it might fall on him. Instead, it toppled backwards, hitting the ground with enough force to make the earth tremble. Birds screamed as they flew from their hiding places in the tall grasses. He felt like dust should have blown up from the carcass, but it was a marsh, he supposed. Everything was too wet for dust. As he turned his attention back to wiggling his way out of the claw that still gripped him, he heard her laugh.

After successfully separating himself from the appendage, he raised an eyebrow in her direction, suddenly concerned for her sanity. "I don't see what's funny," he said dryly. His heart was still pounding in his chest. The last thing he wanted to do was laugh about the whole thing. Perhaps after a stiff drink he might see the humor.

"You… you almost died by giant crab," she snickered.

"And you," he drawled, feeling a bit vindictive, "used an Unforgivable."

She sobered quickly. "I saved your life."

"That may be, but it's not what I said."

"I used it on a giant crab."

"Yes. But I'm pretty sure it's still Unforgivable."

Her face paled dangerously. "You wouldn't turn me in."

He smirked. "No. You did, after all, just save me from being eaten by a crab. I won't tell if you don't."

She huffed at him. "You're awful."

"I've been called worse," he agreed with a shrug. He dusted himself off. "Now, we have flowers to harvest."