Jax pulls his truck into the only empty parking spot across the street from the apartment building. It has taken him much longer than he'd anticipated to get here. There had been an accident on the highway earlier, which caused a traffic jam that stretched on for several miles and hours. It wouldn't have been that big of a deal had he been on the back of his Harley, but in his truck, he was stuck in the middle of it all, just like every other sucker around him.

Because of that, the drive had been long and exhausting, but as he climbs out of his truck he suddenly feels a surge of energy at the mere thought of being reunited with Tara and his sons.

He drops his cigarette and grinds it into the ground while his eyes scan the row of parked cars, and he sighs in relief when he notices Tara's Ford among them. Even though the building looks nothing like he'd pictured it in his mind, there is no doubt anymore that he has the right address.

Jax waits for a car to pass before he crosses the street, his feet picking up speed with every step he takes. When he reaches the front door he tries to push it open, but isn't really surprised when the door won't budge. His eyes scan the illuminated numbers with their corresponding names next to their individual doorbell, and he quickly finds hers.

206 - Knowles.

That's all it says. He knows he really has no right to be upset, but he simply can't help the way it makes him feel. He'd envisioned -or more he had hoped- that her nameplate would read Knowles-Teller, and seeing that she's gone back to her maiden name stings more than he'd like to admit. But then again he can't really blame her. Could he?

His finger hovers over the button right next to her name, but then he suddenly freezes and lets his hand drop back down to his side. He has envisioned this moment over and over and over on the long drive here, but now that the moment has finally come, he wonders how it will all play out after everything that has happened between them. After the way he's disappointed her again by not leaving Charming with her all those months ago, even though everything he has done was, and still is, for her.

She had taken their boys and finally broke free of Charming, yet he had once more broken her heart when he decided to not leave alongside them. He knew she didn't understand why he did what he did, but despite his decision to stay, they had parted ways on good terms.

He'd called her almost daily after she'd left. And in the beginning, he tried to explain everything that was happening with the Club and why he had to stay behind a bit longer, but eventually, she told him to stop. She'd told him that she simply wouldn't, she just couldn't be part of it anymore. The Club, the life, and his broken promises. If only she knew the whole truth.

So he did what she'd begged him to do. He still called her whenever he could, but all their conversations revolved around the kids and their new life in Oregon. No more talk of Charming, Gemma, or the Club.

Jax laughs inwardly at the irony of it all, he is after all the former president of SAMCRO for Christ's sake, and yet here he is now, standing outside her apartment building, scared shitless to ring her doorbell like the sorry excuse of a man he'd turned out to be.

He has to do better for her. He simply has to.

That last thought strengthens his resolve and without another second to spare he impatiently pushes the button several times, and unconsciously bites his lower lip as he waits with bated breath for what's to come.

"Yes?" Comes her tentative voice over the intercom system Jax hasn't even realized was there.

"Tara?" Jax replies in a questioning tone, even though he'd recognize her voice anywhere.

"Jax?" Tara answers clearly surprised.

His eyes light up at the sound of his name on her lips and the worried expression on his face is quickly replaced by a joyous smile as he replies on an exhale. "Yeah, it's me, Babe."

"H-How?" She stutters, clearly caught off guard, but followed just a second later by a "Hold on," before the door buzzes loudly, and allows Jax to finally step inside.

He takes two steps at a time up the staircase, turns the corner, and stops short when he sees a door open at the end of the hallway. A beat or two passes before the door opens all the way and a delighted Abel comes running down the long corridor, yelling "Dadddddyyy" as Jax scoops the boy up in his arms.

Jax wraps his arms around his oldest son, closing his eyes to truly relish in the feeling of his tiny arms wrapping around his neck in return.

"I missed you so much, Abel," Jax mumbles into the boy's ear, before he opens his eyes again, and finds Tara standing awkwardly in her doorway, watching the scene play out in front of her.

"Hey." He says, trying to sound casual even though his heart is beating out of his chest as he steps closer toward her with Abel still in his arms.

"Hey." She replies with a shy smile on her face that doesn't match the nervousness he can clearly see in her eyes, probably matching his own.

A door creaks open somewhere, catching both their attention, before Tara steps back and holds the door open in a wordless invitation for Jax to step inside.

Jax quickly glances around and takes in the small living room when he hears the door click closed behind him. Once again her place doesn't look anything like he'd imagined, nothing like he'd hoped. It isn't bad by any means, but he'd wanted so much better for her, for his sons. He still does.

Jax turns toward her with Abel still in his arms and is just about to say something, when Abel asks the question that lingers on Tara's lips. "What are you doing here?"

Out of the mouth of babes!

Jax glances awkwardly from Tara to Abel, while he tries to find the right words that won't lead to a hundred more by his inquisitive son. "I missed you guys, so I came to see you, and Thomas ..." his eyes connect with Tara's across the small distance, "... and your Mom."

After months of conversations with Abel and Thomas over the phone and over Skype, Jax knows Abel won't be satisfied with that answer alone, but before he can think of another thing to add, Abel has already voiced his next question out loud. "How long are you staying?"

Another awkward glance is shared between a husband and wife, and he can feel Tara's eyes on him as he looks back at Abel before he replies. "How about forever, little man."

"Forever, Daddy?" Abel screeches and his eyes shine with excitement at the news, but when Jax dares a hopeful glance at Tara, he notices that she, unlike his son, doesn't seem thrilled at all.

Despite Tara's disapproving look, Jax answers his son with the same excitement in his voice. "Yeah, buddy, forever."

Tara is just about to say something when a cry echoes through the small apartment, and she quickly steps around him and Abel, and heads for one of the back bedrooms down the hall.

Jax can hear Tara talking to Thomas, trying to soothe him as she walks out into the living room with him.

Jax's smile grows wide and his eyes light up once more when Thomas stops his sleepy tantrum the instant his little eyes land on the over six-foot tall figure standing by the front door.

"Let me give your brother a hug." He says as he lowers Abel to the ground and steps further into the room toward his second son, who's still holding onto his mother's hand for dear life.

"Thomas." He proudly exclaims at the realization that despite the long absence from his life, his youngest son not only recognizes him, but judging by the smile on his face and the outstretched arms, he's more than happy to see him. "Daddy."

Jax engulfs Thomas in his arms, savoring the feel of his boy reciprocating the gesture when his tiny arms wrap around Jax's neck with a big smile on his face!

Tara can't help but smile herself, watching her son and his father reunite. Despite the misgivings she's feeling, this sight warms her heart.

"Tommy can talk now too." Abel interrupts the reunion.

Jax nods as his eyes scan over the boy in his arms, soaking in the changes he hasn't noticed in the pictures and videos that Tara has sent him every week. "I know. You're a big boy now, aren't you, Thomas? Your Momma told me all about it."

Tara has indeed kept him informed of every milestone in both of his sons' lives. Yet to see for himself how much he'd grown even more in just a few months is still surprising to Jax. Thomas isn't a baby anymore now, at almost three years old, he is barely a toddler, the kid has grown into a boy.

Jax can't shake the pang in his heart at the thought of how much he has missed ... not just over the last couple of months, but even before that.

He'd missed so much when he'd been locked up and even after he got out, the Club life had consumed him so much that it hadn't left him with much time to spend with his kids. More times than not they had been in bed by the time he'd made it home.

As he pulls Thomas closer and places a kiss against his forehead, he makes a silent vow to never be an absent father again, come what may.

X

Tara's heeled boots click rhythmically on the pavement with every step she takes toward her car. She fumbles with her car keys to unlock her door when her eyes fall on the truck parked on the other side of the street. She hesitates for a moment, glancing up at her own apartment windows before she turns around on her heels and quickly crosses the street.

She awkwardly stares at the truck, before she leans in closer, trying to peek through the dirty glass of the bed topper in the back.

The truck is in fact loaded with bags and boxes, and the thought begins to sink in that he has really meant what he'd told Abel earlier. Forever? Was he really going to stay for good?

Tara's heart beats out of her chest, and she hurries back to her own car, quickly slides into the driver seat, and lowers her head defeated as the tears begin to well up in her eyes. This can't really be happening, can it?

For the first week -who is she kidding-, for the first month she'd hoped and dreamed that he'd show up. That he'd call and tell her he was on his way. That she'd come home from work and he'd be sitting there, waiting for her and begging her for forgiveness ... begging her for one more chance. And she'd fight the urge to run into his arms, make him grovel for a while, but eventually, they'd end up ... together ... happily ever after.

She sits up straight and folds down the visor to look in the mirror, shaking her head at her own reflection for being so weak.

Stop it! She scolds herself as she begins to wipe the unsightly black mascara tears from her face and tries to make herself look presentable again.

She can't go back there, she just can't let herself become that vulnerable again, that weak again.

If he is really here to stay, ... good for him, at least her boys won't grow up without their father, but she just can't be that girl anymore, his girl. The one that is lonely and desperate, and forever taking him back, no matter what he's done or how much he's hurt her.

There was a time when she'd truly believed that Jax and she had the kind of love that could conquer it all, come what may. That they had been put in each other's lives to make the other one whole, make the other one better. But time and pain and sorrow have proved her to be wrong. Their story isn't a fairytale at all, this isn't a love story, ... hell, this is a drama, a heartbreaking tragedy with no happy end in sight.

"Shit!" She curses when she realizes that she's been sitting in her parked car for nearly ten minutes, so she's fumbling with her keys to finally start the engine.

She'd simply go get some Pizza for dinner, they'd watch a movie with the kids, and Jax could help her with getting the boys into bed, and then ... well, then they'd have time to really talk, and she'd make it crystal clear to him that she has moved on. That this thing between them is over, that he's too late.

She'll tell him how painful it all has been, and how she's finally put the pieces of her heart back together, ... the pieces he'd broken, not just once but over and over again. And she'll tell him that this is all she is willing to give of herself. She'll be the mom, and he'll be the dad, and they will co-parent, and raise these beautiful babies together from here on out, but she won't be more than that to him, no more than a co-parent.

She'll tell him that she's finally met someone she can see herself having a real future with and ... and that he's a good man and even though she hasn't introduced him to the boys yet, she knows he'll make a good father ... no, scratch that, Jax will hate that ... he'll make a good step-father ... yes, yes, a step-father.

And if he met someone ... or maybe he already has met someone ... she'll tell him that she is happy for him ... and that she'll hope he'll choose someone with their sons in mind ... because if some woman is in his life, that woman would ultimately also be in their sons' life and he'll need to make sure she ...

Tears well up once more as the images of him with Ima and Colette flit through her mind.

Furiously wiping her tears away again, she glances at the clock on her dashboard again and forces herself to regain control.

She won't let him do this. He can't just swoop back into her life as if the last year hasn't happened, as if he hasn't broken her heart and every promise he's ever made to her. She is finally free of that life and she'll be damned if she'll let him take her on that downward spiral all over again. No, she won't let him do this ... she won't let him make her feel like that love-struck teenager again.

She has made a life for herself here and even though it might not look like much to him, it is hers and she is happy, and he can't just come back and ruin it all for her, for them. Hell no, she won't let him.

X

Author's Note: Please review if you liked it. Thank you.