Jax recognizes the rumbling sound of the motorcycles pulling into the parking lot outside Baker's Automotive Repairs, and with mixed emotions heads out toward the parking lot.
The call from Chibs earlier that morning was unexpected, to say the least, but at that point the guys had already been on the road for hours, not leaving Jax with much of a choice in the matter.
The Sons decided to drop by and visit on their way further north for some Club business. Jax doesn't know what that business entails exactly, and even though he is somewhat curious about what his Club is up to these days, he bites his tongue and refrains from asking. He doesn't want to risk getting pulled back into it somehow, especially not now when he is finally making some headway with Tara.
The date he proposed over three weeks ago has been postponed and rescheduled more times than he can count, because both of them have been hit up with a lot of unexpected overtime.
But now they have finally been able to definitely clear their schedule for this weekend, along with Christy's offer to not only watch the boys, but keep them overnight at her place, so their date is practically set in stone. Just a couple more days, and he couldn't wait to finally have Tara all to himself again.
That being said, Jax's smile couldn't have been brighter when he saw all the bikes park nicely in a row and one brother after the next came to embrace him in a hug. He'll be lying if he says he doesn't miss them. He misses the camaraderie or even the thrill of danger that the life entails, but at the same time, he has no regrets, because he knows he has made the right choice. He finally knows what he loves the most and what he ultimately couldn't live without. And her name is forever tattooed on his chest now. Tara!
Eric Baker, his boss, agrees to let him take a longer lunch break since his friends are in town, with Jax's promise that the truck he's been working on would be finished before he heads home tonight. So Jax climbs in his truck and the Sons climb on their Harleys, heading out to the nearest place to get a bite to eat and reminisce about times long gone.
Unbeknownst to Jax, Tara arrives just in time to see the last bike pull out of the parking lot, following the caravan led by him.
It appears they hadn't noticed her, and in all honesty, she prefers it that way. She quickly parks her car, and is quite surprised how much seeing the familiar bikes and kuttes has actually shaken her up.
Hundreds of different thoughts are running through her mind. What were they here for? Why hadn't Jax said that they were coming? What did any of this mean?
She simply couldn't ease her mind, nor shake the sickening feeling that began to form in the pit of her stomach.
She pulls out her phone and contemplates calling Jax, playing dumb, just to see what he'd say. To see if he's telling the truth about where he is right now and with whom. She wipes an unexpected tear that escapes her eye and shakes her head before taking in a deep cleansing breath as she puts her phone back into her purse.
No. She shakes her head again. She won't do that. If they really want this relationship to work, then she needs to work on trusting him again, and this is as good a first step as she could think of.
So Tara puts her car back in gear, and heads back to the hospital. She'll just share the lunch she bought for him with Christy instead, hoping to busy her mind with hospital gossip and work, to keep from imagining the meaning of the Club's visit.
X
Jax couldn't help himself from laughing out loud at the stories the guys were sharing with him. From what he's heard so far, it sounds like the Sons have continued down the path he's hoped for and laid out for them before his departure. No more gun running, and definitely no more drugs.
He knows well enough that that doesn't mean it is all peace and quiet now in Charming, but the violence has ceased for the most part. They've been whole for a while now, and Jax is glad to hear it.
"So the Doc and you? You manage to patch things up with her? You're all good?" Bobby asks him with his arm draped around Jax's shoulder as they are leaving the diner.
Jax nods and smiles reassuringly at the older man beside him, "Couldn't be better!" He lies, embarrassed to admit to his brother that Tara hasn't made things easy for him at all.
"Good to hear." Bobby nods approvingly, and pats Jax's back in a fatherly gesture, before he adds. "Well, Charming is surely changing, so who knows, maybe one day you, Tara, and your boys will find your way home again."
Jax lit a cigarette, giving Bobby a quizzical look, "Changing how? Another addition to Charming Heights?" He joked.
Bobby settles next to him, lighting up himself as they wait for the rest of the guys to pay their tab and follow them outside, "They're building some kind of amusement park. Another one of Hale's fucking projects." Bobby shakes his head in irritation. "Right outside Charming, in the middle of nowhere, off of I-580."
With the threat running through his veins, Jax knows right away where Bobby is talking about. He chokes on the smoke in his lungs, unable to keep from coughing. "You're shitting me. Out there?" He shakes his head in disapproval. "It's nothing but fucking hills and rocks and dust out there. It will cost a fortune just to level it all."
"I know." Bobby nods. "Hale's going overboard with this shit. I mean, come on, he's trying to turn Charming into goddamn Disneyland!" He raises his eyebrows to new heights and shakes his head in disbelief.
Jax suddenly felt nauseous, but despite the bile rising in his throat, he took another long drag from his cigarette. "So when's that all happening?" He tries to keep his voice from wavering with worry.
Bobby drops his cigarette to the ground and grinds it out with his boot. "Shit, I think they're already breaking ground this coming Monday, man. Hale isn't wasting any time."
Fuck!
X
Tara stares at her phone for the hundredth time, rereading the message from Jax that he'll be working late tonight.
She has just finished tucking the boys into bed, and starts rinsing the dishes before placing them in the dishwasher, when she hears the front door unlock and Jax quietly steps inside.
He hangs his coat and beanie by the front door, and quickly steps into the kitchen.
"Hey, Babe." He smiles at her as he steps up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist, placing a small kiss against her shoulder. A groan of contentment vibrates in his throat as he relishes the warmth her body emits. He missed her, and needed her all day, yet also feared having to talk to her tonight.
"Hey," Tara replies and leans into him, but immediately wonders if he would mention that the Sons are in town, or if she would have to bring it up. She hates this awkwardness. She has so many questions, but wishes he'd bring it up first, so she wouldn't seem like she is interrogating him.
"Boys are asleep?" Jax asks, and Tara nods.
"I just put them down five minutes ago. If you head in there now, they might still be up."
Jax thinks about it for a moment, but decides against it, "Nah, I don't want to get them all riled up again, I'm pretty tired myself." He steps over to the fridge, and reaches for a beer.
"There's a plate of leftovers in there too." Tara nods toward the fridge, and Jax opens it back up, looking for the food.
Tara watches him out of the corner of her eye, as he unwraps the plate and puts it in the microwave. There is a worried expression on his face, and her stomach twists once more with the fear of what that might mean for them. She knows him well enough to know that something is worrying him. It is written all over his face.
The microwave hums along, and Jax leans against the kitchen counter, giving Tara a once-over as she finishes loading the dishwasher. He folds his arms, contemplating how he should even begin to bring this up. He knows she will not be happy with him. Truth be told, she'll probably be pissed.
"So, the guys called me this morning, they were heading north and stopped by the shop around lunchtime." He blurts out with the most nonchalant tone of voice he could muster.
"The guys?" Tara looks over at him, pretending to not know who he means, before she focuses her attention back on closing and starting the dishwasher.
"The Sons." Jax quickly clarifies, and gives her a weak smile.
"Oh." Tara tries to sound surprised. She dries her hands on a kitchen rag, before folding the piece of cloth neatly onto the kitchen counter.
Jax impatiently, and to keep his hands busy, opens the microwave and retrieves his food. Even though he knows it is nowhere near hot, barely lukewarm if he's lucky.
He begins to scarf down his food, as he tries to buy himself some time. He spent pretty much all day wondering how he was going to tell her about this, but now that the moment is here, he hates having to do this to her. He knows if he tells her the truth, she'll be worried sick. But he isn't sure if their relationship could take any more lies.
Tara watches him take yet another bite, but impatiently can't hold her tongue any longer. "What's going on, Jax?"
Jax looks up at her then, trying to act surprised at the now worried expression that is displayed on her pretty face.
But before he can even speak up, Tara beats him to it. "I can see it on your face." She folds her arms in front of herself and frowns, "What is it? Just spit it out."
Jax swallows the bite in his mouth and lets the fork drop onto the almost-empty plate with a clank. He wipes his hands down his face, as if that could somehow erase the worried expression, but it only makes it more obvious to Tara how serious this must be. Of course, it is, … it always is with the Sons.
Tara suddenly speaks again, her voice breaking mid-sentence as a tear rolls down her cheek. "You're going back to Charming, right?"
Her trembling voice and tearful eyes finally snap Jax out of his stupor and he quickly gets up and steps right in front of her, his hands framing her face.
He shakes his head at her no, even though he says yes, "Yeah, but it's not like that."
"It's not like what, Jackson?" There's now an obvious hint of frustration in her voice. "SAMCRO comes calling, and here we go again ... you choosing them over us." She steps away and turns her back to him, trying to hide the anger and disappointment on her face. "I knew this was gonna happen ... Jesus Christ, I knew it."
Jax spins her around, trying to get her to look at him again. "Babe, it really isn't what you think. This isn't about the Sons, this is about us. You and me!"
There's truth in his eyes and his voice, so she wipes her tears away and stares up at him in utter confusion, "What do you mean?"
Jax swallows the lump in his throat, and pulls her back with him toward the table and chairs. Tara takes the hint and sits in the chair that Jax pulls out for her, and he settles in the chair right across from her. He pushes the plate to the side and reaches across the table. Tara complies wordlessly and reaches out to let him hold her hands. A gesture that seems ages ago now, yet still familiar all the same.
There is no use trying to sugarcoat any of it, so he just begins telling her everything he knows. Straight to the point. "Bobby told me that Hale's building some theme park, right outside Charming. They're already breaking ground this coming Monday." Jax clears his throat. "I know I never told you what I did with the body ... but they're gonna dig right where I buried him. Where I buried Kohn."
Tara's eyes go wide with the realization of what that means, "Oh my God."
In an effort to ease her mind, Jax goes on to explain the plan he's already come up with. After all, he hasn't been able to think about anything else all day and feels the need to share his solution to their problem. He needs her to know that he'll fix this. That this is something he can and will fix for her, for them.
So he tells her how he is gonna drive back to Charming, dig up Kohn, and pay Skeeter to burn the remains after hours, until there's nothing left to bury. It makes the most sense not to rebury him, because he doesn't want to risk the body being discovered again later on down the road.
He's thought of everything. He has already talked to his PO and got permission to head back to California for the weekend, of course, under the disguise of picking up his bikes. He already talked to Skeeter too, and made sure the man is still willing and able to do what needs to be done, all the while keeping SAMCRO out of it altogether.
Tara listens carefully to everything he says, and waits until he is done before she speaks up. "So you really never told the Club about this? About what we did?"
Jax shakes his head, "No, I didn't. And honestly, I'd like to keep it that way."
Tara is in shock, no doubt, and it takes her a moment to let it all sink in. But when she is finally able to think straight again, she realizes what she has to do. "I have to come with you."
Jax immediately shakes his head, dismissing her idea, "No. No way."
"Jax, this is as much my problem as it is yours." She counters.
"If we both get caught with the body -" He starts to object.
But Tara quickly cuts him off. "And if you alone get caught with the body, you really think I'll be home free? I'm a doctor, Jax. I know how this works. My DNA is all over that man ... Jesus Christ, he's wrapped in my goddamn shower curtain." Tara tries to get him to understand how this affects her too.
"I burned his remains for as long as possible, before I buried him. There's probably no DNA trace of you left." Jax tries in turn to still convince her to see it his way.
"Probably no DNA? Probably isn't good enough." She replies. "And besides, we both know you won't be able to dig him up and lift him out of that grave by yourself, not after all this time, not after he's been decomposing for all these years."
Jax shakes his head to himself, avoiding her eyes, because he knows there is some truth to what she is saying, but he doesn't want her involved. He doesn't want her to risk getting caught with him. He wants to keep her safe.
"The two of us can dig faster than you alone. It will be over faster. Less chance to get caught."
"Why are you doing this, Babe?" Jax shakes his head, looking right at her this time. Did she not trust him to fix this either? She has to know that he won't let her down this time. "Do you not trust me?"
She reaches for his hands again and squeezes them tight, "I just don't want to sit around anymore, waiting and hoping that you or someone else will fix my problems for me ... I'm done sitting on the sidelines of my life, Jax. This is something -one thing- I can do to fix a mistake I made. I need to do this, Jax. Really, this isn't about you or whether I trust you or not with this ... it's about me taking charge, fixing my mistake, and erasing the Kohn chapter once and for all. I need to be there and see with my own eyes that there is nothing left of him."
Jax closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, contemplating everything she's just said. He doesn't like the idea of her tagging along, and getting her hands dirty yet again -literally. But at the same time, he understands her need for closure. He knows he is partially to blame, he should've dug a deeper grave, somewhere even more secluded. Should've washed the son of a bitch in bleach, clear him of evidence that could be used against either one of them. But he hadn't done any of those things, and as much as he hates to admit it, but she is right. If he gets caught with Kohn's corpse, he has no doubt that she'll take the fall too ... even if he confesses to having done the deed alone.
He opens his eyes and looks right at her with a stern expression crossing every feature of his unshaven face, "Alright, but we gotta be smart about this, Babe. No mistakes. Let's get rid of that piece of shit for good this time."
X
Author's Note: Please leave a comment if you're still interested and want me to keep working on this. Thanks, xoxo, Skater