The water is hot, almost too hot for comfort, but Tara embraces the stinging liquid cascading down her body as a welcoming distraction, relishing the feeling of it momentarily drowning out the world around her.

It's been a very long day. Truthfully, it's been a long couple of days. Ever since SAMCRO invaded their quiet solitude, and Jax told her about Kohn's body possibly about to be discovered, she's been worried sick, and has longed for this very moment. The moment this nightmare would be over, and she'd be washing off the last remnants of the day when they finally got rid of Joshua Kohn for good.

Yet never in a million years had she anticipated this day to end at Diosa of all places. As much as she hates the sheer existence of this place, it isn't worth arguing over when Jax suggested for them to spend the night here, at least not in hindsight of what else they have done today. And besides, she feared his next suggestion would've been Mommy-Dearest, Gemma's place.

She hadn't set foot in the matriarch's home since the day she'd been desperate enough to pull a gun on Chief Unser and Wendy to get her boys out of there. The memory of that day, and Wendy blurting out that she is truly Abel's mother comes back to the forefront of her mind, and she feels a rush of anger surge through her as if it had happened just yesterday.

Tara knows that Gemma taking Wendy in like that had been nothing more than another ploy to rile her up, and push her out of the family even more, but it still stings despite knowing that. And now, truth be told, she'd rather sleep on the cold hard ground under a bridge somewhere than ask the former queen for a hot shower and a warm bed.

But she doesn't want to think about it anymore, but rather tries to focus on the good. The nightmare is in fact over. Josh is gone. That is truly all that matters now.

Josh is nothing more than a pile of dust, and she should feel relieved yet she is still shaken up about almost getting caught with his body in the back of their truck. The moment when she spotted the blue and red lights behind them, and the panic that crippled her at that moment has been replaying in her mind a few times since then, no matter how hard she tries to forget.

So she definitely needs this moment of solace to let go of today's frightening events. Shake off, or rather wash off all the panic and anxiety that has been haunting her for days. She is well aware that she is taking her sweet time, and that Jax is probably wondering what is taking her so long, but she couldn't help herself. She feels safe in here under the water, for the first time in days. The water soothes her still frayed nerves, and slowly but surely brings a calmness back to her that she's been missing since the moment she's seen SAMCRO pull out of the parking lot of Jax's new place of employment.

Tara steps out of the scalding hot water just long enough to lather her hair and her body with the fruity and flowery smell of her body wash and shampoo, willing the lingering smell of earth and decay to finally vanish from her nostrils.

But when the water begins to lose some of that distracting heat, she realizes with a heavy sigh, that it is time to get out. The small bathroom is filled with hot steamy air, obscuring her view, but she honestly doesn't mind. She dries off as well as she can considering the humidity in the small bathroom, before wrapping the towel around her.

Wiping at the mirror to take a look at her own reflection, she isn't really surprised by just how exhausted she looks. She is tired, not just sleepy-tired but mentally too, and it certainly shows. Not for the first time today, she wonders how she's been able to handle all this stress for so many years. She honestly can't answer that question, all she knows is that she could never go back to the life again.

X

Jax leans back in the chair, hangs up the phone, and absentmindedly slides it across the small table. He watches as the rectangular device stops sliding just in time to not fall off of the edge and onto the carpeted floor. It is one of those newer smartphones, an iPhone, the kind he never dared to own before out of fear it would or could get tracked somehow. But Tara has finally convinced him to get it, yet it would still take him a while before he remembered that he couldn't toss it about like his old and easily replaceable prepaid ones. It is much more fragile, and much more expensive too.

He runs a hand through his still-wet hair, pushing it back out of his face as small drops of water pearl down his shoulders onto his bare chest and back. When he stares at the phone on the edge of the table, he can't help but smile while his mind goes back to a couple of weeks ago. He could still picture the smirk on Tara's face when she teased him for still carrying that old prepaid around.

'Don't you think it's about time to join the twenty-first century, Teller?', she asked one night as he was deleting old messages from his phone. It had taken him by surprise, because he honestly couldn't remember the last time she teased him and called him 'Teller' like that. The look on his face must've been something, because she laughed at him then, thoroughly enjoying herself as she teased him so utterly carefree. He couldn't help but wonder if after today they would find their way back to that carefreeness once more.

The sound of the shower finally turning off brings him back to reality, the here and now. Tara has been in there for what seems like forever, he notes as he glances at the clock on the wall on the other side of the room.

He knows after her meltdown outside of the crematorium, she's tried her best to put on a brave face for him again. And he also knows that she knows that they are truly in the clear now. There is really nothing left this time to tie them to Kohn's disappearance all those years ago.

But he also knows that the fear of getting caught, and the anxiety she feels aren't as easy to shake after a day like today. So he sits patiently waiting, giving her the time she needs to cope, time to wash that fear and maybe even guilt, along with the dirt, and grime down the drain.

He's still feeling some of that adrenaline run through his own veins too, so no doubt she's feeling it. The burdens that come with the life always faze him one way or another, but in the end, he can compartmentalize them somehow. Do what needs to be done for the greater good of the Club, or his family, and not dare to look back.

But he has to admit that some of that ruthlessness that he's embraced so willingly once he was at the head of that table, holding the gavel, has already disappeared in the short amount of time he's spent up in Oregon. And he also knows that in general, that is a good thing. That being away from Gemma, and SAMCRO, and raising his boys with the woman he loves slowly but surely is turning him back into someone resembling a human being.

But at the same time, it scares him too. He is scared that if push comes to shove, would he have been able to protect her today? Snap back into his more ruthless self, into the monster that Tara called him once? He wants to believe he could've pulled the trigger to protect her, even on someone they know and have grown up with, like Candy Eglee. But he isn't so sure!

Jax sits up straighter in the chair when the bathroom door finally opens. He leans forward and rests both his arms on the small table in front of him, playing mindlessly with his lighter in hand, his eyes glued to the crack in the door, waiting for Tara to appear, but a cloud of steam emerges instead.

Tara tucks the towel a little bit tighter around her, before she finally steps into the bedroom, glancing at Jax as she passes by him, and reaches for the overnight bag on the floor beside the queen-size bed.

He watches her as she picks up the bag, and puts it on the chair opposed to him, before she begins rifling through it. Her eyes look tired, and her exposed skin is red and blotchy, but her hair is neatly brushed back. Still dripping wet, it looks even longer and almost black in color in the somewhat dimly lit motel room.

"You feel any better, Babe?" Jax asks with a gentleness to his voice that almost makes her want to break down in tears again. She knows he is just trying to make her feel better, but it makes her more emotional the way he's been tiptoeing around her like she is some fragile porcelain doll. And he's been doing it for days.

"Yeah." She nods, trying to keep her emotions in check. "A little." She dares to look up at him from the clothes she is pulling out just long enough to acknowledge him, and his question.

Jax just nods in agreement, but he can feel the still lingering anxiety coming off her in waves. He wishes he knew how to take it all away and make her feel at ease, but he just doesn't know how.

"You hungry?" He blurts out. "I ordered some pizza from Giovanni's. Pepperoni, spicy Italian sausage, peppers, and mushrooms. Your favorite."

Tara feels her towel loosening as she stands up straight, she quickly clutches her clothes to her chest to keep the towel from falling, letting the lid on the carry-on-sized suitcase fall shut on its own.

She's been so consumed with worry that up until now food has been the last thing on her mind, but she suddenly realizes just how famished she actually is. It certainly seems like her appetite is coming back. That has to be a good sign, she wonders to herself.

"Thanks." She smiles. "That sounds good, I'm starving, actually." She adds, as she graces him with a small smile of genuine gratitude this time.

"Me too." He replies, and returns the smile as he dares a glance at the clock on the wall once more, "They should be here any minute now."

"Great," Tara replies, rounding the table and heading back toward the bathroom when there is a sudden knock at the door.

"That's probably them now." Jax says out loud, standing up from his seat, and watching Tara quickly slip inside, closing the bathroom door behind her, before he half-yells over his shoulder "Come in." and reaches quickly for his wallet on the table.

Jax's back is turned as the door quickly opens and closes behind him with a creak. He silently begins counting out the cash for the pizza in his hand. "How much do I owe you?" he asks out loud, and looks back over his shoulder at the pizza delivery guy just in time to hear her reply.

"For you, Jax? You know you're free of charge." Colette answers with amusement in her voice, and dares to smile sheepishly at him, giving him a seductive once-over as she steps further into the room toward him.

Fuck! This couldn't be happening.

It only takes him a second to gather his wits, and realize that this isn't a nightmare he's concocted in his sleep-deprived head.

He's never angrily regarded Colette before. Because unlike Ima, who had viciously dangled their dalliance in Tara's face at the first opportunity, Colette hadn't intentionally tried to hurt Tara, so who is he to blame her for his mistakes?

But now she is here, in their room, dressed in nothing but a satin nighty and high heels, and the thought of what it would do to Tara's already fragile state of mind has his pulse racing, and his face growing grim with anger.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asks in a hushed yet angry and urgent tone of voice that couldn't be missed. His fist clenches around the dollar bills still in his hand, and he dares a quick glance at the closed bathroom door behind him, before he steps closer toward the unwanted intruder. "You need to leave." He brushes her hands off of him almost violently, taking brisk steps toward her, leaving her no choice but to take a few steps back.

Colette sees how his facial expression changed the moment his eyes landed on her, but she doesn't understand what she's done to evoke such fury directed at her. It doesn't make sense, but she realizes quickly that she must have somehow misread the news of his return to Charming.

Suddenly embarrassed by her wrongful assumptions, and her own state of undress, she folds her arms in front of herself, but before she could even utter a reply, Jax practically growls at her through clenched teeth, closing in on her some more, "You need to get the fuck out of here. Right fucking now."

At that, Colette's eyes widened with shock and hurt. It isn't so much his dismissal, but the delivery, stings more than she'd ever admit. But then again, in her profession, this is nothing new to her, really. She's been on the receiving end of changed moods and changed minds by brooding men more times than she can count and she's inadvertently grown a thick skin for that very reason.

With her head held a little higher, she returns his angry stare with a look of boldness. "I don't realize I am not welcome here," she mumbles, in no mood to argue as she takes a step backward toward the door to leave, giving him a smug once-over as if to say 'Your loss', but then she freezes when suddenly the door behind Jax opens, and to her surprise, Tara emerges.

Jax hears the door open behind him and glances over his shoulder, but Tara has her eyes already trained on Colette instead. He closes his eyes, pinches the bridge of his nose in obvious frustration, and mumbles under his breath, "Shit." Taking a few steps away from Colette, as if his mere proximity to her would somehow determine his guilt in her unexpected appearance here. This is what he's tried to avoid from happening. He knows without a doubt, there is no way in hell this is going to end well for anyone involved.

Colette's eyes light up with obvious surprise when she recognizes the brunette as Jax's wife. Her dark hair is longer, and dressed in PJ shorts and a tank top she looks a lot more slender than Colette remembers from their last encounter. But now it all makes perfect sense, and she suddenly understands Jax's reaction toward her being here. She clearly hadn't expected his wife to be here with him, or she never would've set foot in his room in the first place.

"What the hell is she doing here?" Tara hisses, and looks from Colette to Jax for an answer, her face turning stone cold at the sight of her husband and his whore.

"Babe, it's not what you think." Jax tries to explain, his eyes pleading with her to not jump to conclusions, but to hear him out. Yet even he can't deny how ridiculous he sounds, once the words have left his mouth.

"Really? Your whore is here, but it's not what I think?" Tara says sarcastically, and with her eyebrows raised to new heights looks at him incredulously, before she turns her anger toward the other woman instead. The woman he's betrayed her with. The woman he's destroyed her and their marriage with.

But to Tara's surprise Colette held up her hands apologetically, the universal sign of surrender short of waving a little white flag, obviously aware of her own mistake now. She has her eyes trained on Tara, "Look, honey, I'm sorry. I heard Jax is back in town. I clearly misunderstood. I thought ..." But the words die down on her tongue as she shifts closer to the door. She almost stutters "I'm ... I'm sorry. I'll leave you two alone."

But Tara isn't about to let her off the hook that easily, "You thought ... what?" She angrily demands to hear the rest of that sentence. "What were you thinking walking in here, dressed like that?"

"Babe? Come on?" Jax tries to interject, not liking where this is going one bit. and desperately needing this encounter to end.

Tara turns her attention to him just long enough to shoot him a look of defiance and fury. "Stay out of it, Jax." And if looks alone could kill, he would drop dead right then and there.

"I wanna know what she thought," Tara repeats inquisitively, her eyes sternly meeting Jax's, before they drift back to the blonde Madame just a few steps away from her.

"I don't want any trouble," Colette answers, and shifts some more to reach for the doorknob.

"Tell me," Tara suddenly yells, startling Colette, and stops her dead in her tracks, unable to keep her cool any longer.

"I thought he needed me ... wanted me." Colette suddenly blurts out in obvious frustration, and is too tired of carefully choosing her words around his wife another second longer.

Tara's face grimaces even more in anger and disgust, as her eyes throw daggers at the woman standing across from her. Every word oozes with venom when Tara calmly replies. "I handle all of his needs and wants, honey." And the term of endearment Colette has used on her just moments ago, now sounds every bit like the insult Tara wants it to be.

Tara's proclamation would've elated Jax had the circumstances been different, but right now it merely evokes a frustrated groan as he runs a hand over his weary face, turning his attention toward the blonde once more. "For Christ's sake, Colette, just get the hell out already," he practically growls at her. He knows there is absolutely nothing she could say that would somehow make this end amicably. The longer they talk the more is said, and it can only end worse.

But Jax's words fall on deaf ears as the blonde is now riled up as well. Colette tried to keep her cool, knowing she was in the wrong for barging in here like she had, but suddenly Tara's words evoked a sense of pride in her she's long thought forgotten, and she simply couldn't help herself. "That's odd, because he needed and wanted me plenty in the past." Colette dares to look at Jax, before smirking back at Tara, feeling momentarily like she's suddenly gained the upper hand in this battle.

At those words, Tara simply couldn't stop the image of Jax and her in bed together from clouding her vision with tears again. There is still so much hurt, and anger, those memories evoke in her, so many lingering emotions that she hadn't been able to shake no matter how much she tried. Seeing her again, here, like this, combined with all the shit she's gone through today, made her see rs and Tara finally snapped.

It all happens so fast, before either Jax or Colette could even utter another word, or otherwise react, Tara has charged at Colette with the speed of a bullet. Her knuckles connect with Colette's left cheek and the blonde falls to the ground like a sack of potatoes, crying out in pain. Tara drops to her knees in front of her and draws back once more. Colette raises her hands up in a desperate attempt to fend off the attack, but it is too late.

Another perfectly placed right hook, and the distinct crunching sound of her nose breaking echoes through the room, along with Colette's strangled cry as blood begins pouring down her battered face.

"Tara! Jesus Christ." Tara hears Jax yell, as two arms encircle her waist, and forcefully pull her up, and away from Colette, before she can throw another punch.

"Let go of me!" Tara protests loudly against him, but to no avail, his hold on her is too strong as he practically drags her away from the scene of the crime.

"Tara, stop." He huffs at her in frustration as she continues to struggle against him, but finally releases the tight grip he has on her.

Colette moans in pain behind them, causing both their heads to turn toward her, but when Tara tries to approach her once more, Jax is quick to step in her way this time, blocking her from doing any more damage than is already done. "Babe, stop it." He nods his head toward Colette who is trying to get back to her feet, while she's holding one hand protectively over her bloody nose. "You got her good."

Colette mumbles something incoherently under her breath, but when she dares to shoot the couple one more look, Jax frowns at her and points a dismissive finger toward the door, "Just get the hell out."

The moment the door closes behind Colette, Tara disappears into the bathroom and angrily slams the door shut behind her as well.

"Jesus fucking Christ." Jax curses to himself and stands there dumbstruck for a few seconds, before he decides to follow Tara into the bathroom, bracing himself for the argument he is sure is about to ensue.

"Hey." He says, as he steps through the door, instantly recognizing the small sobs, but still trying to get a look at her face to see if she is really crying. Of course, she was!

Just then Tara turns toward him long enough to let him see her already tear-streaked face, "Don't Jax, just get out, alright? Please, just leave me the hell alone right now." To his surprise, the anger in her voice has been replaced with sadness and defeat, which he couldn't quite wrap his head around. After all, Colette just limped out of here, with a bloodied broken nose and hurt pride.

But Jax couldn't help himself. No way in hell is he leaving now and giving that anger and sadness some time to fester even more.

He quickly steps up behind her and reaches for her right hand, tugging at it before Tara even knows what he is doing. "Jesus Christ, Babe." he shakes his head at her in disapproval, and pulls her with him toward the sink, turning the faucet on and carefully rinsing the blood from Tara's bloody knuckles.

"I said leave me alone," Tara repeats yet doesn't put up a real fight against him either.

Instead, she winces in pain as the water hits the open wounds, but avoids his eyes at all costs as she wipes her tears away with her other free hand.

Jax abruptly lets go of her hand, turns around, and slams the toilet lid shut, before he motions for her to sit the same instant he utters the word at her in obvious irritation. "Sit."

Tara looks at him perplexed for a long moment, wondering why he acts like he has a right to be mad at her, and in turn, it brings her own anger to bubble quickly back up to the surface. She continues to hold her hand under the stream of cold water, defying his orders for her to take a seat, while she gives him a cold shoulder instead. Yet, the ability to hold her tongue on the matter, merely lasts a handful of seconds.

She shakes her head angrily to herself, watching him out of the corner of her eye as he rifles through the medicine cabinet, and the cabinet under the sink, she assumes looking for the first aid kit.

"You don't get to be pissed at me." Tara suddenly hisses in his direction, and in return gets his undivided attention, and with it a stone-cold stare. "If anyone has a right to be mad here, it's me." And she'll be damned if she'll back down now. "You heard what she said. She provoked me, Jax. I've put up with a lot of shit over the years, but I'll be damned if some goddamn prostitute is going to talk to me like that."

Jax slams the cabinet shut with a bang, if it is supposed to scare her, he is out of luck. First aid kit in hand now, he practically shows her away from the sink toward the toilet, forcing her to take a seat after all. His jaw ticks with suppressed rage as he does so, and the look he gives her speaks volumes as well. He kneels down on the floor in front of her and begins digging through the first aid kid, not even looking at her when he says, "You seriously think I'm pissed because you hit her?"

"You pulled me off of her." Tara interrupts stating the obvious and not the least bit intimidated by his behavior or demeanor toward her. Somehow the adrenaline still running through her gives her a bravery she seldom found anymore these days.

Jax shakes his head at her and looks up, before he angrily grabs her right wrist, "I pulled you off of her because of this." Holding her bloody hand higher, and right up to her own face. "Less than twenty-four hours back in Charming, and you already fucked up your hand ... again."

That shut her right up, -temporarily at least- because she knows he is right, but it doesn't change the fact that she is still pissed at him too. "It's not broken." She half-heartedly supplies in a weak attempt to justify herself.

Both remain quiet for a long moment, and Jax avoids her eyes as he carefully dabs the skin that has split open on her knuckles with an alcohol swab, ignoring her wincing at the contact. He follows it with a dab of Neosporin on some gauze, gently placed on the open wounds, and then takes his sweet time as he carefully wraps her hand up in a bandage.

But as he secures the end of the bandage in place, so it won't come loose, he can't hold back any longer. "How many months has it been since you finally got cleared for surgery again?" he asks, without taking a breath between words. She knows the question is rhetorical, and he is not expecting an actual answer, but the righteous look he gives her now bothers her just the same.

"I don't need a lecture from you on how to conduct myself in a whorehouse." Tara replies angrily, refusing to let him turn the tables on her. She has every right to be mad, and do what she's done. "Who the hell do you think you're talking to?" She proudly dares to throw her own rhetorical question in his face in return.

At that, and even though he is still angry, he can't help the small smile that forms on his lips at the feistiness in her words. He raises his eyebrows at her as he focuses his blue eyes solely on her now, almost making her regret what she just said as she tries not to squirm under his scrutiny.

Maybe it is time that he clarified what he meant, "I really don't give a shit if you want to beat the holy hell out of her. After that shit, she said, be my guest. All I'm saying is be fucking smarter with your choice of weapon, Babe."

Again, he has a goddamn point.

Tara draws her lips in a straight line and holds his gaze for a long moment before she finally concedes and nods her head in agreement. With that, he gently tugs her bandaged hand closer to him and kisses it, before looking back up at her. His eyes suddenly reflect gentleness again when he says, "These hands still have a whole lot of good to do, you know. Got some more babies to save." He reaches for her other one and gives that one a gentle kiss as well, before he looks down at them in awe. "Your hands, they're like the yang to my yin, Babe. Can't go around fucking them up, because you let someone like her get under your skin."

Jax stands and puts the first aid kit back where he's found it, as another moment of silence hangs heavy in the air, with Tara still remaining suspiciously quiet.

Jax turns around then, facing her once more as he leans against the sink behind him, and crosses his arms in front of his still bare chest. "Look, I had no idea she'd be here. Maybe I should've asked Bobby when I called him, but honestly, she was the last thing on my mind. I'm sorry." He says, sincerely.

Tara closes her eyes, lowers her head, and pinches the bridge of her nose with her un-bandaged hand before she lets out a sigh, "I know, Jax." She nods, but still doesn't look up at him to meet his penetrating gaze. "I know her showing up like this is out of your control, but it doesn't make it hurt any less, you know." The pitch in her voice rising on the last few words gives away the tears that begin to form in her eyes once more.

He knows there is really nothing he can say to fix the way this encounter with Colette made her feel. All he can do is try to lighten the mood, so he gives it his best shot, "You want me to drag her back in here by her hair, so you can finish her off? With the gun this time, of course."

At that, Tara finally looks up at him, a sad smile gracing her lips just for a fraction of a second when she replies "Don't tempt me."

Jax laughs, but Tara tries not to crack another smile at the sound of it.

He smirks, "I could call Skeeter, and see if he could give us a discount. You know, maybe some 'buy one, get one half off' kinda-deal."

Tara shakes her head, trying to hide the smile on her face with both of her hands.

This is sick. This is not funny.

Murder isn't supposed to be funny, but she can't help herself. As she tries so hard not to laugh out loud, she can't stop wondering if maybe today's events have finally pushed her over the edge herself. Just maybe, she is finally losing her goddamn mind like the rest of the residents in this poisonous town, when a stifled laugh bubbles from her throat after all.

X

Author's Note: Please review and let me know what you think. Thank you, xoxo