Even though the impending disasters loomed ahead we took some time to get used to Erebor. We may have had that luxury because there were hundreds of dwarves present, all working on fortifying and strategizing and I did not need to participate. I felt I wouldn't be very helpful in any of the events to come.

At least one to two dwarves from the company were by my side throughout the day. Those who spent the most time were Thorin's nephews. They seemed to be trying to help me feel at home. They gave me tours, practiced archery with me, and introduce me to foreign dwarves, and, together, we'd spend our time keeping Thorin on the opposite side of the mountain. Away from the gold.

Thorin wasn't happy about it but he complied with our wishes and misdirections.

The day after I'd arrived I'd pulled Bilbo aside to mention to him the One Ring I knew he had on his person and the affects it may have on Thorin. After he'd gotten over his initial shock of me knowing this kind of information he tossed his head too and fro.

"I suppose I should have figured you'd have all sorts of secret knowledge about all of this." He puffed, "I can keep away if necessary for now." I gave him a quick hug and prayed it would be enough.

Bilbo began to keep his distance from Thorin. Thus also cutting the times I saw him. I was starting to miss his presence while also feeling guilty for his solitude. I hoped he was making some new friends with the people of the mountain. I figured I'd find him some time soon and sneak away to the library with him. I assumed he would appreciate the visit and the little getaway from his hiding game.

Bard and his town, though he hadn't quite become the true leader of the new people of Dale, had wandered in days after our arrival. Traveling with numbers had slowed them down. Since the original leader of Lake Town had not perished in the dragon flames there had become a strange tilt in power. His power residing mostly in his wealth, the Mayor of Laketown had been almost overtaken by Bard's charisma and compelling plans. The mayor had little power to convince the crowds against any advances toward Dale. And the retaking of Dale would solidify any question of leadership. Bard's lineage was still known. And the current favoritism towards him and the desire for the new life in Dale left the mayor in no position to oppose.

I was glad for his leadership. Since the slaying of the Mightiest of Calamities, Bard's confidence had skyrocketed and you could see the hope and willingness to follow all of the people now held. And he was good at talking with Thorin. Since he was already present and sharing, and Thorin had been derailed from his hellbent self destruction, their common chatter and planning seemed to be bringing them into a camaraderie and the good beginnings of respect and trust.

It seemed like an additional distraction for Thorin, which was always a blessing.

Today though, was another tour through the mountain with Fili and Kili. A nice break from the tensions boiling around.

The tour took us deep underground, further than I'd ever thought the hallways could go, and I started to feel a foreboding. Windows or doors were nowhere to be found. No escape from the mountain anywhere close. The deeper we went the more I realized if anything were to go terribly wrong, like having a ginormous dragon sieging the mountain, the less likely anyone inside was to escape alive. I thought about all of the dwarves that had to be vacated from the halls and rooms who had not made it out of the last attack. My breath beginning to quicken I paused mid tour. Kili had not noticed and was still explaining the effort it took to dig and remove rock from this far underground. Fili had paused with a sidelong glance at my stiff figure.

"I really think you guys need more escape routes in this place. The only exits are miles away." Saying it out loud did not help me feel any better. Feeling a little dizzy, I sat myself onto the stone floor and took some deep steadying breaths. Fili came and set a light hand on my back while Kili squat in front of me looking concerned.

"The Lonely Mountain is a fortress, Sharae. If anyone comes to attack Erebor there's only one place to do it and that's through the front gates," He explained. It seemed like he was trying to comfort me but it wasn't a helpful thought. Probably because battles were not my forte. He continued on, "From the gates we can control the battle, we have the high ground and our concentrated forces. There was a reason we hadn't fallen from power before the dragon." He grinned at me. I laughed nervously. His chipperness faded and he sighed at my obvious apprehension, "Perhaps we should hold the rest of this tour for later, when you've become more accustomed to the mountain." He held a hand out to me and I took it while nodding. Fili helped lift me from my sitting position and, with a dwarf on each side of me, we wandered our way back to bustling civilization.

Though our tour was cut short I could tell Fili wasn't ready to depart to other tasks that were sure to be waiting for him. I nudged him a little with my elbow.

"Maybe it'll be ok if we do a small tour outside the gates? I know Thorin is on edge about everything lately but if we don't wander far it might be ok?" Fili looked slightly uncomfortable.

"Thorin said you'd probably ask and had already given us firm instructions not to leave the stronghold."

Damn, Thorin was too good at being in charge. I sighed not really knowing what else to suggest considering my newness to the city.

"But…" he glanced at me, then returned his eyes to our path, "There is a place we could get at least a glance of something similar." He smiled across at his brother, who was already grinning, and I knew mischief was afoot.

"A little rule breaking has never slowed us down!" Kili half whispered across to his brother. They both grinned widely, "We'll need a distraction though."

Bofur, Bifur, and Ori had been up to the task. With their abilities to distract with food and entertainment the trio had the Thorin distraction well in hand.

Fili, Kili, and I snuck up a smaller set of stairs, down a long hallway and up another small flight of stairs that ended in an ornate landing with a finely carved door. Kili listened at the door and then swiftly pushed it open and shuffled us inside. He closed it behind us quietly.

When I finally took a look around I was flabbergasted. It was a living quarter, vaulted, with a small kitchen, bedroom, huge lounge area. Intricate needlework lined the walls with golden swirling threads and deep, warm colors. The furniture was hand carved, huge, and stained a dark brown. The rugs below our feet were thick and weaved into majestic patterns. A beautiful fireplace was carved into the stone wall of the room with a hearty mantle above it, covered in chests and gold figures and large, unique gems.

With an array of sconce like candles around the whole room it almost felt like a home back in the present time, well lit, comfortable, and inviting. The place was welcoming and warm and I would have liked to have stayed in there forever but the boys had already rushed me across the whole room, straight to the other side were there was a bright archway with heavy curtains pulled to the side. After being pushed quickly into the bright lights ahead I was blinded for a second. As my eyes began adjusting to the harsh light, I started seeing shapes everywhere around me. This better not have turned into a prank against me. I almost frowned. But instantly after that my eyes truly saw.

I was surrounded by gardens and giant plant life. We had walked into a greenhouse with sunlight flooding from above, and though we weren't outside, somehow the beams were enough to warm the whole room. A loud pair of, what looked like, bullfinch twittered while darting between large leaved plants. Some of the plants reached the canopy of this impressively sized greenhouse. On the ground below, paths led to all the plants and garden beds filled with what smelled like the woodsy tobacco they sometimes smoked in their free time. Fuzzy mosses coated most surfaces not filled with large, overgrown foliage. Groups of minuscule, peaceful bugs bobbed lazily in the sunlight just above it.

It was like a fairyland inside a fairyland.

Feeling overwhelmed with the immaculate peacefulness around me I began to cry.

Fili took me by my elbows and lowered me onto the mossy earth as I continued to sob.

And then I lost track of everything going on around me.

I felt like I'd been going through this whole ordeal like a robot with one purpose. Keep everyone alive, including myself. My feelings had been so bottled up as I had assumed the role I needed to take that I had failed to introspect.

I was scared. Well and truly.

I'd been so confident, before, that my purpose was enough. That it could save them. But the reality of this place had sunk in. After so many battles, so many injuries, so many memories. This place was real now. Like a dream state ending, though I knew it was real all along, now it was life. My life, my people, my future, my choices. And, while I believed I was brought here by fate for a very specific purpose, I also knew I could screw it all up. I could be not good enough, I could overthink things, I could make a wrong move. And then it could end. The people I was trying to protect gone, this world gone.

And though I'd been fearful of the deaths of Thorin, Fili, and Kili I hadn't realized that my fears were growing, and why.

And the reason why had been growing daily.

I loved them.

While I had known of them previously, and read about them, and watched their movements as an observer before ever coming here, now, I was in their lives. They were in mine. We kept each other alive, we laughed with each other. We cared. And, while the deaths of any of these dwarves would have broken my heart before, now, it would destroy me. I don't know if I would ever recover.

And the fear I'd been harboring had been growing every day. That I wouldn't be enough. That I couldn't ever be enough to change fate so drastically. That they would be taken away, just like my family. More permanently, more violently.

I had some tricks up my sleeve, I had fate on my side, but I was not a warrior, I was not a seer, I was fragile to this world of magic.

I took an unsteady breath, tears starting to run out.

Coming back to where I was my breathing settled, the earth seemed to reappear under my legs and the gentle touch of warm hands soothed my rigid body.

I lifted my head slowly, with waterlogged eyes. Fili was on my left, crouched, with his arm around my shoulder. Kili was on my right, head bowed, lightly gripping my arm, his other hand resting on my knee. And sitting in front of me, cross legged, head bowed, and hands gently supporting my own, was Thorin.

And it wasn't strange. And my usual awkwardness wasn't triggered. It seemed like a gentle prayer. It must be something taught to them to comfort those around them. And must have been practiced since times long past because it was perfect. Every ounce of the impending doom I'd been feeling was melting into the earth beneath me and my breathing felt airy and free like I couldn't remember it ever being before.

I took in a deep, peaceful breath and drifted into sleep where I sat. Amongst my friends and the steadily floating, delicate little moss gnats.

Thank you for keeping with the story. It is very appreciated ˜