Tara and Christy left to head back to the apartment over half an hour ago, and were hopefully already on their way to get some Chinese or Mexican takeout. By the time they had taken off, they'd been undecided about which one to get, but neither Jax nor Jason cared either way. Both of them were hungry enough right now to eat just about anything the girls decided to bring home to eat.

The wind has gotten stronger as the day went on, and by now the sun has all but disappeared behind a veil of thick darkened clouds, when Jax finally put his foot down and announces that it was time to go home now, before it would start raining and they'd all get soaked down to their skin.

But Abel is having a blast defying his father for a long couple of minutes, getting chased around the playground, but with the help of Jason, they finally manage to capture the rambunctious four-year-old along with his three-year-old accomplice, in a fit of laughter and giggles.

Jason holds Thomas' little hand and Jax carries Abel bent over his shoulder, while the boy still tries to wiggle free from his father's strong grasp on him. Abel giggles out loud in delight when Jax playfully spanks his behind on the way to the truck. "If you keep this up, you're gonna wear yourself out, little monster." Getting him to sleep should be easy tonight.

Jax shakes his head at his son's antics but smiles just the same, as memories of his own childhood flood his mind. He could vividly remember both Gemma and JT chasing after Tommy and him around Charming Gardens and the lot at T-M more than a time or two.

He'd been little, just like his own sons are now, and honestly, if it wasn't for picture albums and a handful of old videotapes that held proof of those joyous days, he probably wouldn't remember any of it, considering how young he was at the time. And now, he thought with a heavy heart how those memories suddenly felt even more bittersweet than they already did before, knowing what their once happy family turned out to be.

"Mommy and Daddy sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Abel yells out in a sing-song voice and laughs out loud at his own little song, before he quickly repeats the line once more and laughs again. "Mommy and Daddy are sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"What?" Jax blurts in return, pretending to be offended, and actually pulls his son off his shoulder and into his arms instead, searching the young boy's face, "Who taught you that song?" Jax tickles him as he asks the question.

"Aunt Christy taught me ..." Abel answers with a grin that matches Jax's to a T, then adds, "... when you were kissing Mommy like this." Abel puckers up his lips and makes kissing noises, enjoying the fact that he could tease his father with it, he only stops long enough to look down at his little brother as they both burst back into fits of giggles.

Jax tickles him some more at that and makes him writhe in his arms as the boy fights to breathe between laughs and giggles. "Yeah, that sounds like something Aunt Christy would teach ya'." Jax looks over at Jason for just a fraction of a second, but the other man just shrugs innocently, yet smiles at the exchange between the father and his sons.

He finally lets up and gives Abel a chance to catch his breath, "First of all, that's a girl song. And second, your Mom and I weren't even in a tree." Jax playfully answers, and Abel laughs out loud once more when his dad sticks his tongue out at him, which Abel quickly reciprocates. "You gonna sing that song for Mommy when we get home? Bet she'll love it. Girls like that kind of stuff." Jax muses, and smiles when he pictures the look on Tara's face.

"Okay. I will." Abel answers in less of a playful tone, and seemingly winded now hugs his father's neck, making it finally easier for Jax to carry him the rest of the way.

But just when they reach the truck and Jason begins to buckle Thomas into his car seat, Abel speaks up once more, before climbing into the vehicle himself. "Daddy?"

"Yeah?" Jax replies and holds the door to the backseat open for Abel to climb on in, as sounds of thunder suddenly roar in the distance.

"Are you and Mommy now married again?" Abel asks, looking up at his father with big blue eyes that also match his own, and it suddenly dawns on Jax that the boys haven't seen Tara and him kiss like that in a very long time.

Sure, they've shown affection toward one another, hugging, holding hands, kissing on the cheek, or cuddling with the boys on the couch watching cartoons. But until this very moment, he never even considered that his sons were keeping such close tabs on what mommy and daddy were or weren't doing, and that passionately kissing their mother would be equaling marriage in the mind of his four-year-old.

He suddenly realizes he hadn't answered him, and quickly speaks up to soothe the worried expression that had crossed Abel's face now. "Of course, little man, your Mom and I are still married." Jax pulls Abel's beanie off of his head and ruffles the boy's hair up in a playful manner as he crouches down to be at eye level with his son.

He can't help the overwhelming feeling that he's failed his kid one way or another by leaving him confused on the matter of where their marriage stands. If he knows one thing though, it is that he is utterly unprepared to have this conversation without Tara to back him up. "We've been married this whole time, buddy." Jax sighs, "Listen, Abel, we gotta get outta here before it starts to rain, but tonight before we go to bed, you, Tommy, and Mommy and I, we can talk more about all of this, ... alright?" It was all he could think of to say for now, and at the very least he knew he'd bought himself some time, but deep down, he counted on Tara to know just what to say, because he truly doesn't know.

Abel nods seemingly content with his father's response, and Jax quickly stands, places the beanie back on Abel's head, and steps out of his way. He reaches out though, to help Abel up into the truck, but the blond boy shrugs his father's hand away in protest as he promptly climbs inside the cab, "I can do it by myself, Daddy." Abel says and gives Jax a pointed look once he manages to settle into his booster seat all by himself.

Jason has already climbed into the passenger seat and he and Jax share a knowing look when Jax gets in, before he starts up the truck and they sped out of the parking lot.

X

Several hours later, they all sit around the kitchen table with playing cards in hand. Abel sits on Tara's lap, and Thomas sits on Mrs. Ellie's knee, who's come over to join in on the fun and the food, and is now bouncing the youngest Teller up and down to keep him content.

But they weren't playing Hearts, Rummy, or Crazy-Eights, instead, they found themselves in an Uno battle that the adults seemed to enjoy way more than the two children ever did.

"Uno," Abel shouts, and can barely contain his excitement, while he and Tara watch each player take their turn, hoping to be able to play the last card in their possession and ultimately win the game. Which is what happens when Abel throws the last card on the table, grinning ear to ear.

Tara squeals in delight and kisses her laughing son on her lap repeatedly on the cheek as she pulls him closer at their triumphant win.

"We are the best, Mommy," Abel announces proudly and raises his little fist in the air, giving his little brother across the table a pointed look.

"But even the best have a bedtime, buddy." Jax interrupts the laughter, and Abel looks back at his mother in disappointment, "Not yet. Pleeeeeease."

But Tara shakes her head at him since they've already been giving a heads-up that bedtime is quickly approaching. She smiles though when she says, "I've been told by someone, that you and Thomas have been staying up late all weekend." Abel shoots an accusatory look at Jason before he turns his attention back to his mother, "But you've got school tomorrow, and Daddy and I have to go back to work too, so we need to catch up on some sleep tonight, don't you think?"

"I'm not tired at all. I'm fine." Abel shrugs his shoulders at his mother and looks around the room as the adults surrounding him can't help but chuckle at his nonchalant reply.

"Well, I'm not." Tara answers with a straight face, successfully suppressing a smirk, "I'm very tired, your Dad's probably tired, and I bet Tommy's tired too."

Abel looks over at his little brother for a second, and when the three-year-old yawns as if on cue, Abel concedes, yawning himself, "Fine." But the look on his face lets everyone know that he is not happy about it.

"I'll get them ready for bed." Jax says and stands, "Come on, boys, say your goodnights." He waits until both the boys make their rounds, giving every adult a hug before they take their father's hand and leave the room.

X

Tara steps into the bathroom and watches from the doorframe as Jax helps Abel brush his teeth, while Thomas plays with one of the toy motorcycles Gemma gifted to them, waiting his turn as he tries to mimic the sound of a Harley.

Jax looks over his shoulder at Tara, "Everyone leave?"

"Yeah." Tara nods, and leans down to kiss the top of Tommy's head, brushing her hands through his soft blond hair, and her youngest looks up at her and holds up his newest toy in delight, "Look, Mommy."

Tara nods, "I know. It's pretty."

"Motorcycles aren't pretty." Abel interrupts without missing a beat, toothpaste dripping from the side of his mouth, as he looks almost offended from his mom up to his dad right beside him, "Motorcycles are awesome. Right, Daddy?" That's when Tara notices the other Harley still clutched in Abel's hand as well.

"Right." Jax grins back at Tara, "Kid's got a point, Babe."

"Yeah, yeah." Tara sighs in mock annoyance, yet winks at Jax, "I think there's a little too much testosterone in here for my liking, so I'm gonna pick up a little bit." She points her thumb up behind her, in the direction of the living room and kitchen. "Call me, when you're ready for goodnight kisses, alright?"

Abel is perched up on a small plastic stool, leans forward and spits a mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, and glances back at his mother, "Alright." He then proceeds to use the sleeve of his pajama shirt to wipe his mouth without giving it a second thought.

"Alright." Thomas agrees with whatever Abel just agreed to, and waves at his mom before she leaves the room.

X

Cleanup isn't all that bad today, since they ordered in and used mostly plastic plates and silverware to eat. So she only had cups and mugs to put away into the dishwasher, everything else was going into the trash instead.

But as she busies herself, picking up the boys' toys strewn across the apartment, and wiping down the table and kitchen counter, she is already trying to figure out what or how to explain their current relationship to Abel.

Jax pulled her aside earlier today, and filled her in on what Abel asked, and now she finds herself wondering what other things might've been boggling his little mind this whole time without Jax or her knowing.

Was her half-way-in, half-way-out indecisiveness playing mind games on their kids? She didn't like the thought of that.

X

Abel and Thomas are both snuggled up in their beds, waiting for their parents to come inside to give them goodnight hugs and kisses, while Tara and Jax huddle in the hallway and speak in hushed voices, trying to decide how to approach this. Neither of them really has a plan, so they decide to play it by ear, trying to answer any questions Abel might have as honestly as they can, without revealing too much that might lead to yet more confusion or questions in the long run.

By the time they step into the room, Thomas has already drifted off to sleep, and Abel is fighting to keep his eyes open too, but wins that battle once he sees his mom and dad approach him.

Tara tucks the blanket in around Thomas and kisses his little forehead, before she kneels down next to Abel's bed, brushing his hair back with her hand, while Jax takes a seat on the side of Abel's bed.

Tara glances up at Jax and hesitates for a second, but then decides to finally bite the bullet and begins to speak in a hushed voice to not wake their youngest again, "Dad said you have some questions about us being married, sweetie?"

At that, Abel props himself up on his arms, his attention clearly piqued again, "Daddy says you are still married."

"He's right, we are still married." Tara confirms, she leans closer to him, trying to meet the young boy's eyes, "Remember your Daddy and I got married a while ago."

Abel nods his head, "Yeah."

"So why, um ... I mean, is there anything you want to ask me and your Dad about that? You know you can ask us if you're confused or ... well, anything really, honey." Tara sort of stammers, trying to figure out how to get him to open up, yet not wanting to turn something into an issue if it actually isn't one.

Abel looks up at his dad, before his eyes drift back to Tara, "Why did Daddy not come to our new house with us right away?"

Tara speaks up first, because this was something that they've discussed before, so she knows how to answer this particular question rather confidently. "Remember when we talked about that before, Abel? Daddy stayed in Charming because that was where he worked, that's where his job was, remember?" Her voice is soft and reassuring.

"But now he works here where we are," Abel asks, but it doesn't sound like a question, but rather himself confirming something he already knows.

Jax nods, "That's right. I've got a new job now, right here in town, so I can be with you guys. So we can all be together again."

"Okay." Abel nods contently with that answer, and Tara and Jax share a look of relief, hoping that this was pretty much over now and they hadn't screwed up their kid as much as they feared.

But then Abel decides to add something else, and this time he actually pushes himself all the way up into a sitting position, and it dawns on both his parents that he was just getting warmed up, "Aunt Margaret and Uncle Dave are married, Aunt Christy and Uncle Jason are getting married, and Grandma and Grandpa Nero are not married at all."

Tara looks at Jax in confusion, before she looks back at Abel trying to figure out what he was trying to say, "That's right." She pauses, hoping once more that this could possibly be the end of it ... but no such luck.

"But everybody sleeps in a big bed." Abel blurts out and looks pointedly at his father before he adds, "Nobody sleeps on the couch."

Well, shit!

Tara and Jax look at each other, neither of them sure how to answer what Abel is obviously implying.

But just in case his parents haven't caught on, Abel quickly decides to add, his eyes on Jax once more, "Why are you sleeping on the couch, Daddy?"

Now that the question is actually voiced out loud, Jax looks over at Tara for help once more, but she lowers her gaze, avoiding his eyes, throwing him to the wolves, or the wolf pup in this instant.

Jax curses to himself inwardly, trying to think of how to answer this, his brain scrambling for the right words to come to him, "You know how sometimes Tommy takes your favorite toy without asking and won't give it back, or he'll scribble over one of your best drawings, and you get mad at him? And you fight?" He starts, and now Tara actually looks up at him in alarm, but it is too late to backpedal.

Abel nods, and Jax continues, "Well, it's kind of like that. See, I did something bad, that made your Mom mad, so we decided that I should sleep on the couch for a while. That's all, it's nothing to worry about, son."

Tara shakes her head, figuring this would not be that easy, and just as predicted, Abel fires away, his eyes on his father again, "You and Mommy are fighting?"

Tara hurriedly intervenes now, clearly regretting letting Jax take the reins on explaining his shortcomings in the first place.

"No, baby, we're not fighting." She forces a big toothy smile on her face for the sake of their little boy and ruffles his hair playfully in an attempt to lighten the mood in the room once more, "Weren't you singing songs about your Daddy and I kissing earlier today?"

She gestures to Jax with her hand, "You think I'd be kissing him and he'd be kissing me like that if we are fighting?" Tara shakes her head, as if to answer her own question. "No, of course not. You wouldn't give your brother hugs and kisses if you were fighting with him, would you?"

"No, never." Abel shakes his head and actually smiles again, and Jax looks gratefully back at Tara, relieved that she's managed to remedy his mistake in his choice of words.

"So you are not mad at Daddy anymore, right?" Abel suddenly asks, and now it is Jax who raises his eyebrows pointedly at his wife, awaiting the answer almost with the same curiosity as his eldest son.

For Abel's sake, Tara refrains from rolling her eyes at the stupid expression on Jax's face, but it is a tall order. She decides to focus on Abel instead, smiles sweetly at him once more, and shakes her head, "No, I'm not mad anymore. Everything's okay, I promise."

Her heart sinks at the meaning of her own words, hoping she didn't just make a mistake like Jax had just moments before.

All the questions she asked Christy out loud earlier today came rushing back to her. What if she couldn't forgive him? What if their relationship was not going to be okay, like she just said. What if nothing works out and she has to admit to Abel that she lied to him, and breaks his little heart like her own has been broken? What then?

She hates this. Hates everything that happened, and hates the fact that they hadn't hidden their problems with each other from their kids as well as they thought they did. They have been so utterly naive and downright stupid, thinking the boys wouldn't catch on to what was happening.

But if Abel's questions hadn't been a sucker punch enough, he adds one final blow, "So are you and Daddy gonna sleep in the big bed because you're not mad anymore?"

Tara keeps her eyes trained on Abel, even though she can practically feel Jax's eyes burning holes into her. She obviously hesitates on how to answer that question, but again, for Abel's sake she fakes yet another smile and goes against her better judgment when she answers him, trying to sound truthful and lighthearted, even though she feels neither at the moment, "Of course, baby."

Tara leans forward, and places a kiss on Abel's forehead, hoping this is finally the last question he would ask tonight, because she isn't sure she could handle much more of this little Q&A session she's found herself in.

Abel smiles brightly at his mother's response, clearly relieved and it does make Tara feel justified having said what she said. Both her sons' happiness was her utmost priority, and if that means she needs to rethink Jax's sleeping arrangement to do away with Abel's worries, then so be it.

Jax finally decides to speak up again, and leans over Abel, "That's all you want to know, right? 'Cause it's getting late." When Abel nods, Jax pulls back the blanket for Abel to settle back down under it again, before he leans even further down and kisses his son's forehead, just like Tara just did. "Goodnight, son."

"Goodnight, Daddy." Abel answers cheerily, before his eyes land on Tara once more, "Goodnight, Mommy."

"Goodnight, baby." Tara answers and kisses his cheek this time, before she tucks the blanket tighter around him and gets up to follow Jax out the door.

Tara closes the door behind her and they both walk all the way into the living room before they stop dead in their tracks, and look at each other in a mixture of regret but also relief.

Tara shakes her head at herself and she was just about to say something, but Jax beats her to it when he whispers, "I know, Babe, that sucked."

"It did." Tara also whispers when she answers, and folds her arms in front of herself, still reeling from what had just gone down in there. She looks up at Jax then, her eyes boring into his with determination, "We have to do better, for them. Whatever is going on with us ... we can't let it touch them, Jax."

"I know." He says again, "Trust me, Babe, I know." Jax answers sadly, swiping a hand down his face in worry.

There is a long silent pause between the two of them, before Jax points out the obvious elephant in the room now, "I guess, I'll set my alarm a bit earlier, stash all the bedding from the couch in the linen closet before either one of 'em gets up, and -"

"No." Tara interrupts him and shakes her head before she quickly adds, "Because sooner or later someone's gonna have a bad dream, want a drink of water, or needs to go pee in the middle of the night, and they'll find you still sleeping on that couch. And we'll be right back to square one, with them wondering if we're fighting or not, or if we're still married, and then on top of it all, also thinking we're lying to them ... I can't take that chance."

Jax takes a few steps over to the oversized armchair, and sits down on the armrest, his eyebrows almost raised to his hairline as his mind stews over what Tara just said, wanting to make sure he understands what she is actually suggesting, "What are you sayin', Babe?"

"I guess I'm saying it's time for you to move into the bedroom." She quickly replies, but instantly adds, "But this doesn't change anything between us. I mean, what we talked about last night still applies, Jax. Relationship-wise I'm not there yet, and I need to know that you understand that." Her face is serious, as is the look in her eyes that she is giving him, despite the small smile that begins to tug at the corner of his lips now.

Jax's eyes scan the coffee table for a second, noting the boys' box of crayons as he reaches out and grabs a random one, "So how's this gonna work? Draw a line down the middle of the bed that neither of us crosses?" He smirks, knowing just how ridiculous that suggestion sounds.

Tara shakes her head, "No, of course not." She grabs the crayon right out of his hand and throws it back on the coffee table beside them, "Don't be ridiculous." But then she pauses, trying to find the right words for how this is going to work out between them.

Normally, her heart would be beating out of her chest right now at the mere thought of climbing into bed with him tonight, but right now, she was honestly just concerned about Thomas and Abel, and what was going on in their little minds. She knows she has no choice but to put her own feelings aside, for their sake.

She folds her arms again then, before she speaks, "It's gonna be just like it was last night, when I couldn't sleep and I came out here." She gestures with her hand toward the couch, where they spend the night wrapped up in each other's arms, but without all that sexual tension, because both have still been too shaken up from her nightmare.

"Just two consenting adults -" She stops herself, catching her own mistake of how she worded that, but it was too late. Jax is already smirking, holding back a laugh and Tara raises a hand to cover her mouth to hide her own smile, looking away from him, "Shit, I didn't mean that, I mean the opposite." She tries to retract, "What I meant -"

"Hey, speak for yourself, Knowles. I am very much consenting in any way, shape, or form." He interjects and revels in her obvious embarrassment, and the way her own words managed to make her squirm and even blush.

"You're an ass." Tara quips back, and finally dares to look back at him, no longer hiding her smile now, "You know exactly what I meant ... what I was trying to say."

Jax stands, steps right in front of her then, and pulls her against him, locking his hands behind her back, while Tara braces her palms flat against his chest to keep the illusion of some space between them, "Yeah, I know what you meant to say, but you worry way too much, you know that?" He says, no longer smirking and trying to ease the uneasiness that was coming off of her in waves now again, "The way you keep reminding me over and over again about the boundaries you've set, I gotta tell ya', Babe, it's starting to make me think, that you think I don't possess any self-control at all. It takes two to tango, darlin'. So if you don't wanna tango, then neither will I. So stop worrying, alright?"

Their little tender moment is interrupted by Jax's cell phone ringing, and he reluctantly lets go of her and reaches into his back pocket to retrieve it.

He instantly recognizes the area code as one from Belfast, and Tara follows him with her eyes as he quickly answers the call and steps into the kitchen instead.

Tara hesitates to follow him, not entirely sure if he is comfortable with her overhearing the conversation, but as if he could read her mind, he pokes his head back into the living room, giving her a quizzical look as he waves his free hand in a gesture that tells her to come along.

She quickly, but silently steps into the kitchen with him, but pauses, leaning against the doorframe, while he takes a seat at the table. But then he puts the phone on speaker before he lays the device on the table and nods at Tara once more, wanting her to take a seat too.

"I was wondering if I might ever hear from you again, Jackson," Maureen says with an even heavier Irish accent than Tara imagined her to sound like. "But I have got to admit, I thought it would be a lot sooner."

"I got your letters from JT." Jax starts, getting straight to the point, but then retracts, "Well, my old lady found them first, but eventually I got them."

There is a moment of silence on the other end, and for a second Jax thinks that the call might've already been disconnected, but then Maureen suddenly speaks again. "I'm sorry I took the cowardly way out by hiding them in your bag instead of giving them to you myself."

She clears her throat, and it is obvious to both Tara and Jax that she is biding her time, and Jax takes the opportunity to speak, "Don't worry about it. I understand why you didn't want to do it out in the open." With Clay right there, is what he leaves out of the sentence, but the meaning is the same.

"Aye." Maureen answers, and you can hear her sigh audibly, hesitating again before she decides to speak up, "Forgive me, Jackson, but when I overheard the conversation between you and your ma in my kitchen that day, about you wanting to leave wee Abel be, so he wouldn't grow up in the Club, about changing your father's legacy ... I just wanted you to know more about him, about your da. I wanted you to know what I know."

Tara holds her breath as she searches Jax's face, trying to read him to better understand what she just heard the other woman say. But Jax's eyes are downcast, avoiding meeting hers at all costs now, and by doing that, by not looking back at her, it tells her everything she wants to know. She has in fact heard Maureen just say that Jax was going to leave Abel behind, and Tara has to fight to keep her emotions in check, not wanting to let him see the tears begin to pool in her eyes.

"I know," Jax replies to Maureen, his voice heavy with emotions of sadness and regret too. The tear-filled memories of that day and of that moment in conversation with Gemma come back to him like a sucker punch to the chest, knocking the wind right out of him. He didn't realize that Maureen overheard their conversation, so naturally, he didn't anticipate her to mention it or he never would've put her on speaker for Tara to bear witness and find out the whole ugly truth this way.

He pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration, but he simply can't bring himself right now to look up at the woman he loves sitting across from him. He kept this from her all this time, and he knows the time has come to pay the piper, and he knows having to explain himself all over again would have all those feelings come back to haunt him once more. But right now, right this moment, he has to push those thoughts aside and get back to why he'd been trying to get Maureen on the phone in the first place. To find out the truth about JT, Clay, and Gemma.

Tara's chair noisily scrapes across the linoleum floor when she pushes it back to stand up, leaving Jax no choice but to finally look up at her. But now she wasn't looking at him as she took a few steps away toward the kitchen counter, where she stills with her back turned to him. He knows he fucked up once more, but the damage is already done and there was no turning back now.

He turns his attention back to the phone in front of him, and carries on with what this call was really about, "Look, my mother got a hold of those letters before I did. The ones she turned over to me, the ones I read, made it sound like JT was in fear for his life. That he suspected Clay would try to kill him. Now my old lady says she read letters that also suggest Gemma knew about what Clay was trying to do. That my father thought his wife and his best friend were plotting his death to keep the MC in the gun business." That is all he says, he doesn't come straight out and ask for confirmation, or asks if it is true. He simply said his part and now waits for Maureen to hopefully fill in the blanks, or refute some of what he said. For the love that he still feels for his mother, despite everything she's done this far, he hopes for the latter to happen.

He could hear the woman on the other line take a sip of something, liquor he presumes, but it could've been a cup of tea, he wouldn't know. He dares another glance at Tara, who is still refusing to turn and look at him, but he can tell she is wiping tears away from her eyes. As much as it breaks his heart, he can't allow himself to focus on that right now, he needs to hear the truth, no matter how ugly it might be.

"I'm sorry, Jax, but what your old lady said is true." Jax's heart sinks, and he lowers his head and swipes his hand down his face, before wiping away the tears that begin to fall from his own eyes now.

"I didn't have the heart to tell you, not that you would've believed me if you heard it from my mouth. I thought it best if you heard it from your da himself, in his own words ... it's a painful truth, but it's a truth nonetheless." She sighs once more, "Now you can take my word and the word of your old lady who's read all of what your da wrote ... or you can believe your ma, the woman who ended up marrying the man responsible for your da's untimely death. The choice is yours, Jax. I'm sorry." She repeats once more, the sorrow evident in her voice as she speaks.

"Thank you," Jax says and wipes away the tears that fall so freely now that he knows the whole truth. "Tell Trinity -" He chokes, not knowing what he wants Maureen to tell her.

"I'll tell her you're well. And you wish her well." Maureen supplies the words for him, before she quickly elaborates. "She met a nice lad, got married a little while back, and moved away with him. She's doing real well for herself, away from all this."

"I'm glad," Jax replies, and he means it. The circumstances under which he found out he had a sister still not only embarrassed him, but also made him feel ashamed, knowing what he knows now, that Tara had been taken by Salazar.

It seems like every decision he made from the moment Abel had been taken, had been the wrong one. He'd been on a downward spiral of self-destruction, or at least that's what he told himself to justify his actions in hindsight.

Then there is a click on the other end of the line, the conversation has come to an end and he can no longer avoid the inevitable confrontation with Tara. He looks over at her, fighting the urge to stand and pull her in his arms.

Part of him was still processing what he found out, but deep down he already knew Maureen was going to confirm what Tara said earlier today, because he knew Tara would never accuse Gemma of something like that, unless she truly believed what she read was true. But still, the last remnants of hope got destroyed by Maureen's words, and he has to come to terms with it.

And yet, here he was, turning his attention to Tara's heartbreak instead, because it was easier to deal with, easier to fathom than let the truth about his mother really sink in.

"Tara." He finally speaks, turning in his seat toward her, yet remaining seated a few feet away from her, "Please say something."

Tara wipes at her face with both of her hands before she finally spins around, leaning back against the kitchen counter, but refusing to look at him still.

"What the hell happened in Belfast, Jax?" She could no longer hold her tongue. "Why would you even consider for a second to leave Abel behind in ... in a whole other country? What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was in a bad place then. After Donna, after Sack ... I pushed you away, because I wanted to keep you safe, wanted something better for you, away from the Club and away from me ... I let Abel go for those same reasons." He admits the ugly truth out loud, and tears in his own eyes begin to well up once more. "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry you did it, or you're sorry I found out?" Tara says with contempt in her voice.

Jax huffs, "Both."

At that, Tara finally looks up and meets his eyes, red-rimmed as they were, matching her own. "You should've told me. I shouldn't have found out like this, by accident."

"I didn't even know Maureen knew." Jax weakly replies. "I had no idea she would spring this on you ... on us."

"Obviously," Tara answers scathingly and swipes both hands down her face, trying to dry her eyes and her tears for good as a long silence stretches out between them.

She shakes her head to herself then, because as heartbroken as she feels about the revelation that the boy she raised and loved had almost not been brought back to her at all, she knows that this isn't all about her. She isn't done talking about this yet, there is more she wants to know, but it would have to wait. She'll find out the whole truth later, but right now is not the time. Abel is here with her, with them, safe and sound and hopefully peacefully asleep.

But Jax on the other hand, the man she loves, the father of her sons, has just gotten the proof he sought out to find from Maureen's own mouth. And she can only imagine how devastated he is feeling, and yet here he is trying to mend fences with her instead. Guilt rushes over her as that thought begins to unravel in her mind.

Tara knows he hoped that maybe she misunderstood what she read. And even though there was no doubt to her about what JT expressed in those letters, she remained open-minded and didn't want to take his last hope away by arguing her point.

But now, as she looks at him, the ugly truth hangs heavily in the air between them. The look in his eyes and the expression on his face speaks volumes, and her heart breaks for him all over again, just like it did the first time she read those letters years ago.

She finally dares to step closer to him, right in front of him, and steps between his knees, her hands reaching down and pulling him into her. "I'm so sorry, Jax." That's all she says, their previous argument is all but forgotten now as Jax welcomes the embrace and presses his cheek into her torso, while his hands snake around her thighs, to eventually hug her lower body half even closer to him. Holding onto her as if she is his lifeline.

She looks down at him, and strokes her fingers soothingly through his long blond hair, like she's done countless times to their children, who are the spitting image of him. She bends down then, giving him no choice but to loosen the grip he has on her, and places several kisses against the top of his head, before she allows him to pull her onto his lap and pull her close once more.

Tara curls her arms around his neck, and he rests his head against hers. "What are you thinking?" She dares to question out loud, wishing she could actually read his mind.

Jax sighs loudly, "I don't know, Babe ... Now that I know for sure, I don't even know what to do about it." He lifts his head then and looks right at her, waiting for her to look back at him and meet his eyes, "What do I do, Tara? She's my Mom, what am I supposed to do?"

Tara sighs, her eyes never leaving his, before she swallows the lump that formed in the back of her throat as the thought occurred to her what he might be considering, "There's really nothing you can do. I mean, it's like you said, she's still your Mom. You can't hurt her, Jax ... at least not physically."

She pauses for a long moment, while his eyes still remain trained on hers, waiting for her insight on how to handle this ugly truth. "I think you just have to let her go. Make a clean break."

Jax nods, letting Tara's thoughts on the matter settle in his mind, "Yeah."

But Tara can see the anger flash in his eyes now as the reality of it all begins to really faze him, and she fears he might do something stupid and irrational after all. "Please promise me that you're not going back to Charming, back to hurt her. It's not worth it. If you do that, it will hurt us too. So please, don't." She says pleadingly. The desperation is obvious in her voice. His actions now could potentially destroy everything they fought so hard to rebuild between them.

He takes a long moment to consider her plea, and the desperate tone of her voice helps him make a decision rather quickly. "I won't."

Jax shakes his head, and despite everything, he couldn't help his mind from going back to the conversation they had with Abel earlier.

If he's learned one thing from all of this, it's that he would try his best from here on out to be a better parent to his kids, and a better partner to Tara ... he'll break the cycle, break this sickening pattern once and for all, and be better than Gemma and JT had been to him, his little brother and each other.

He clears his throat. "I'm not going anywhere, Babe." He sits up straighter once more, and leans closer toward Tara again, resting his head against hers as they sit in silence for a little while longer.

Tara is the first to pull back, disturbing their moment of solace, and frames his face with her hands as she looks back into his eyes again. "It's getting late, let's go to bed, baby. Together."

Jax isn't sure he'll be able to find any sleep tonight, but he plays along and pretends for her benefit. "That sounds nice." He answers truthfully and leans in for a tender kiss.

X

Author's Note: More revelations? More growth? Please let me know your thoughts, I can't wait to hear from you. Thank you for reading. xoxo, Skater