Jax and Tara are still settled down on the couch, all wrapped up in each other again. Her head against his shoulder, her legs thrown over his thighs, slightly bent at the knee, and in turn, his arm wrapped around her with his hand resting on her hip, pulling her closer against him.
The TV is on, and Jax has the remote in his free hand, flipping through the channels, trying to see if anything good, preferably funny, is on at the moment. Tara cuddles against him, with her eyes closed, and if it wasn't for her fingers continuously playing with his beard, he would've thought she was fast asleep by now.
He drops the remote beside him, runs a hand from her knee up to her thigh, and back again, then softly kisses her forehead, looking down at her for a moment, no longer giving any mind to the show he decided on.
Once more he finds himself going back to earlier today, and what Dr. Reed said about Tara needing to fill in the holes to regain her memory, and of course he also thought about her tearful admission that she thinks she somehow provoked Juice into attacking her.
His hand leaves her knee, and instead grabs a hold of her hand that is playing with his beard, and gently kisses each knuckle of her fingers, one by one, his eyes trained on her face as he does so.
"Can I ask you something?" He says in a low hushed voice, waiting for her to open her eyes, and acknowledge his question.
Tara slowly opens her eyes and looks up at him then, she looks sleepy, but also so utterly at ease at the moment, that he almost considers abandoning the idea to question her again. But deep down he knows if they don't talk about this before they crawl into bed, he'll end up just tossing, and turning all night again.
"Sure." Tara nods, lifting her head off of his shoulder, and sits up a little so she can keep her eyes trained on him now, curious about what he is about to ask, and secretly hoping it isn't about John. She didn't have a chance to confront John about what he said to Jax yet, or rather how he worded it so obviously with the intent to get a rise out of Jax, because there was another emergency, and he rushed off right after his part of the surgery was completed. She'd find him tomorrow and have this talk for sure.
He hesitates for a second, going over the way to word this question just right in his head. "What do you think you might've done to Juice, to provoke him?" He knows there is nothing that would in any way excuse or somehow justify what Juice has done, but he wants her to answer the question because he needs to understand where all of her fear, and doubt was coming from.
Tara takes a deep breath and sighs, her eyes grew big, and she suddenly looks wide awake again as she thought about how to best answer that. She shrugs her shoulders for a moment, "I'm not sure." She pauses, thinking. "Maybe ... maybe I pulled my gun on him, maybe even fired it ... or maybe we argued, or something. I don't know."
Jax nods, but it just doesn't quite add up, "What would you, and Juice have to argue about?"
"Well, for one I didn't like it that you had him watch me the days before." Tara answers honestly, "And I'm sure he told you that I backed over his Harley too."
"I'm sorry." Jax answers, not sure what else he could say, knowing full well that he treated her badly during that time, having her watched like he did. In hindsight, he can see now how that must've made her feel. "But none of that would justify him going after you like he did."
Tara neither nods, nor says anything to that, because she knows he is probably right, but she is struggling with the why me of it all, that it comes naturally to think she must've done something to provoke him, maybe not deserve it, but provoke him nonetheless.
"About what Dr. Reed said, trying to get your memory back. I've got an idea, if you're not too tired yet?" He wonders out loud, waiting for her agreement.
"What kind of idea?" Tara asks, curious about that now too.
"Hold on a sec," Jax says, and lifts her legs off of his lap just long enough so he can slip out from underneath, and walks over to the coat closet by the front door.
Some of his personal belongings are still packed away in boxes, which are still scattered in a few different places across the apartment. Some in this closet, some in the linen closet, some under Tara's bed, until he'd get around to unpack them all, and really move in. He scans the scribbling on the outside of the cardboard box, turning it to the side to find out what it says.
Tara suddenly appears right beside him, watching him, "What are we looking for?" She asks, watching him examining the next couple of boxes on the shelf up top, too high for her to even reach without a step stool.
"It will just say personal," Jax answers, realizing that none of these boxes are it, and drops his arms back to his side, before he turns, and closes the closet door again.
"Personal?" Tara repeats, before she says, "I'll go check under my bed, you check the other closet." And with that, she disappears down the hall, and slips into her bedroom, while Jax heads for the linen closet in the hallway next to the bathroom instead, both now in pursuit of this one particular box.
When Jax can't find it in this closet either, he steps into the bedroom to help Tara, but stops short in the doorway, taking in the sight that greets him, and a grin spreads across his face.
There was Tara, on her elbows, and knees right next to the bed, ducking her head, and upper body down, pushing the bed skirt up to look, and reach for the boxes beneath, and with her pajama shorts barely able to contain her curvy behind, she unintentional presents him with the most beautiful view.
Jax just stands there, almost dumbstruck, and practically salivating at the mouth, when her tank top rides up on her back, and the crow tattoo comes into view too, rubbing salt in the proverbial wound some more.
All the things he'd like to do with that, do to her, he thinks to himself for a split second, but then quickly reminds himself of the conversation he had with Greg earlier today.
You need to lay off her! That is pretty much a direct quote from his friend, and coworker, if he recalls correctly.
And he knows Greg's advice is spot on, knows that he needs to give this coming-on-to-her shit some goddamn rest. Give her a minute to get better, figure her feelings out, and let her be the one to make the first move. And he swears he will do all of that, for her, just maybe not right this minute, because this right here is just too fucking good to pass up.
So he steps further into the room with deliberate quiet steps, and before the voice of reason within him can stop him from being stupid, he's already down on his knees right behind her, and within the time span of just a second or two, his hands are roughly grabbing at her hips, pulling her toward him, thumbs quickly sliding across the far edges of the crow, like he's done countless times during sex, and then he draws one hand back, and gives her an opens palmed smack against her right cheek.
Tara jerks upward, and lets out a shriek, startled at the sudden unexpected touch, and subsequent sting, and hits her head with a loud clunk against the bed frame that holds the mattress up right above her. Jax instinctively backs off now, and Tara mumbles some choice curse words as her face reappears from under the bed, rubbing the spot on her head when she meets Jax's eyes, glaring at him, "What the hell?"
"I'm sorry," Jax answers not very convincingly at all, and has to bite his lip to not let a laugh escape. But he's not at all put off by the look she's giving him, and leans in, rubbing his hand across the same spot on her head she's been rubbing, giving it a quick kiss. "I didn't mean to startle you, but your ass looks just so goddamn perfect ... I just couldn't help myself."
She doesn't even know what to say to that, because once more today he managed to piss her off, and turn her on all in the same breath. She shakes her head at him, trying to act mad, but she is about as convincing at it as he is with his apology. And to further discredit herself, she can't stop the heat from rising in her cheeks, nor can she deny the small smile that appears on her face that she's trying her best to hide, but to no avail.
Seeing the flush rise on her face, and the smile tugging at her lips, he grins again himself, but that's when Tara actually protests, and shoves him hard against the chest, "That's not funny, Jax." And yet, she's smiling herself.
She gets up off the floor now rather hastily, and steps aside for him to take her place, "Your box is under there, but you'll have to get it yourself now." She folds her arms in front of her chest again, "I'm not bending over for you again."
"Ever? Or just tonight?" He teases her, but when she just looks away from him in annoyance, he relents. "Fine, I'll get it," Jax answers, still grinning, and leans down, much like she had, arms outstretched, reaching beneath the bed.
Now Tara actually has to bring a hand up to cover her mouth, to muffle the laugh at the sight of him with his ass up in the air. Not even the way his muscles flex on his back, seemingly bringing the reaper to life can sour her mood at the moment. And she can't help but wonder if he is pushing his ass up like this on purpose to amuse her, or if this is actually like she presented herself to him without even knowing it just moments ago.
The grin on her face is so big, her teeth are showing, and she's watching him intently as his upper body appears back from beneath the bed, pulling the cardboard box along with him. But before he even manages to scramble to his feet, she's teasing him just a little bit too now. "FYI, you have no idea how lucky you are that I don't own a strap-on."
Jax twists around, the box under his arm, and meets her eyes in the same instant he's suddenly registering what she just said, but his face turns serious, and so is the look in his eyes when he speaks up, "I've been inside enough to know that that shit ain't funny."
The smile from Tara's face disappears instantly at the look in his eyes, and the humorless tone of his voice, and guilt rushes over her, "I'm sorry ... I-I didn't realize ..." She half stutters as the words die down, and she realizes that they've never talked in detail if something like that ever happened to him.
But then a big sheepish grin spreads across Jax's face, and he starts laughing, loud enough that it might wake the boys, and she realizes that he's just messing with her, and involuntarily a smile creeps onto her face too now.
"Asshole." She slaps his chest, playfully, but can't stop herself from joining in on the laughter too.
He grins ear to ear, pride in his eyes that he can get one over on her, and says, "You should've seen your face, Babe ... that was fucking priceless."
"You're a real piece of work, Teller," Tara mumbles back, still smirking too. "Prison rape is no joke."
"Says the girl that just threatened me with a strap-on." He quips back without missing a beat, one eyebrow deliberately raised when he smirks back at her once more. "By the way, that shit ain't never gonna happen."
Tara shrugs, "We'll see." And has to bite her lip at the expression that crosses his face for a split second.
He has a big old grin plastered on his face again when he finally lowers the box under his arm to the bed beside them. He starts picking at the tape, but Tara grabs a nail file from her vanity, the medal kind with the pointy tip, and wordlessly holds it out to him instead.
He pokes, and slides the tip of the file along the tape, then hands it back to Tara before he unfolds the flaps to look inside, to make sure he wasn't mistaken, and that this is indeed the box he has been looking for.
Tara steps up beside him, peeking past his arm to see what he could possibly have in there that can help jog her memory. She watches on while he pulls two shoe-sized boxes out, lids askew, and puts them aside on the bed without another thought. She's seen these before, and knows they hold some of those little journals he kept around their home back in Charming, and as if on cue Jax grabs a handful of said journals that have fallen out into the bigger box, and neatly places them back where they belong amongst the others in the shoe-sized boxes instead, before he finally replaces the lid on both those boxes.
But then reaches down into the bottom of the big box, and Tara isn't sure what she expected, but is surprised that all he's retrieving now is a couple of manila folders, before he returns the journal boxes, closes the box back up, drops it down to the carpet with a thud, and at last pushes it back under the bed with his foot.
Her eyes flitter up to his, and she can see the carefree fun they just had moments ago has all but disappeared again from his face, and his eyes too.
"What is it, Jax?" Tara asks, no longer able to hold her tongue, curiosity eating at her at the way he's acting so secretively.
"Sit with me," Jax says, and reaches for her hand, pulling her onto the bed with him, both of them settling against the headboard side by side. In all honesty, he never intended for her to see these files, but that was before he knew that the shit she doesn't know about that night seems to haunt her more than what she's been told.
Yet he still hesitates for a long moment, and stares at the two folders in his hand, one last moment of doubt if he is making a mistake here, or not, by showing her these.
"Here." He hands them over to her, having made up his mind, and Tara looks up to search his face again before her eyes flicker back down to his hands, and she finally takes them from him.
"What is it?" Tara asks for the second time now, because the reluctance in his eyes has her suddenly reluctant, and nervous herself. She can't help but wonder what could possibly be in those files that would explain this sudden shift in his mood again.
"It's the ..." He pauses and clears his throat. "It's a copy of the police reports from that night. Reports, crime scene photos, you know, everything they've got." But when Tara still makes no move to even so much as open either one of the two folders, he adds, "Thought it might jog your memory if you look at these ... you know."
"Right." Tara answers, eyes fixed on the folders in her hand, gathering the courage to actually look at them.
She wonders momentarily how he even got his hands on these, but honestly, at this point, she's really not all that surprised anymore that he did. Jackson Teller is nothing if not resourceful.
She's not so sure she can do this though, but at the same time, she knows Jax is only trying to help her. But at what cost, she wonders as she feels her heartbeat quicken, and her palms turn sweaty once more at the thought of what these files might entail. Undoubtedly she's about to discover something she is going to wish she didn't know.
Feeling her understandable reluctance, Jax moves closer to her, and drapes his arm around her, his hand reassuringly massaging one shoulder to ease some of that tension in her, before he speaks up, "Look, you don't have to do this. You don't have to look at them if you don't want to, Babe."
He shakes his head to himself, suddenly regretting letting her know that he had these, "I just thought ... I needed to know everything they found, and I thought maybe if you knew too, you wouldn't keep wondering what happened, maybe it would even get rid of those fucking nightmares."
Everything he just says sounds so right, and Tara knows it too. She keeps imagining the worst, and has nightmares about it because she simply can't remember, and what's in these files was probably the best approach to bring some memories -hell, maybe even all of them back. So with one last deliberate deep breath, she flips the first folder open and begins to read.
Jax sits by silently at first, reading along over her shoulder, even though he must've read everything a thousand times already. His eyes flicker to her face at some of the more gruesome details, gauging her reaction, and ready on a whim to toss the fucking thing across the room should it get too overwhelming for her.
But she keeps on reading, and they continue to work their way through the pages, looking over the pictures of their kitchen that were -to Jax's relief- taken long after she'd been rushed out of there by ambulance. He doesn't need an actual picture of that moment, it was already forever burned into his mind, and he hopes as time goes by, it will eventually fade more, and more with every passing day.
He points out some things he thinks might help her remember or at the least ease her mind about her own actions that night. Like her purse still sitting on the kitchen table, and according to the report nothing of value was missing, including her gun. He flips a couple of pages ahead, to show her the report where it says they tested her hands for gunpowder residue, but there had been none. So her idea that she might've fired at Juice was out of the question.
They examine everything further, both of them in an almost too matter-of-fact kind of manner, in a glaringly obvious effort to detach themselves from how that night derailed both of their lives, and could've scared their boys for years to come.
There are more pictures. Gruesome. Pictures were taken at the hospital of her wounds. Not just the ones to her head, but other bruises on her body too. Jax can't help but cringe at the sight of them, even after he's seen them countless times before, they still get to him.
Then there are the ones that show all the blood-tinted water in the sink, the blood smeared all along the dishwasher, and cabinets, broken dishes scattered all around, and at last a puddle of her blood on the floor.
But Tara doesn't even flinch, she's much too invested now, she's somehow able to detach herself from the reality that this was all her blood, and he can't help but feel a sense of pride at how well she's handling looking at all of this stuff, because despite his best efforts he still has to fight to keep the bile from rising in his throat at some of this shit.
Then the next set of pictures is of him, the main suspect found at the scene of the crime. Before they took all of his clothing into evidence, they photographed him too. There are pictures of him from all different kinds of angles, and now Tara finally loses that brave face she's put on this entire time at the sight of him from that night.
There's some blood on his clothing, and dried blood on his arm, smeared distastefully over the letters of his Thomas tattoo from when he'd held her. But what stands out the most to Tara above all else is his face. It's what truly devastates her, the haunted expression on his face, the bleakness in his eyes, the eyes that are still holding tears even as these pictures were being taken.
And her heart aches so much for him when she takes it all in, and turns her head toward him then, dropping the folders to her lap, reaching for him, kissing his sweet face, and clinging to him for a long silent moment.
She's been the one that is so viciously attacked, yet now, as she looks at all this evidence, the pictures of him, she's finally able to see past her own issues and suffering, and feels some of his pain too. She can't imagine what he must've gone through, can't fathom it if roles had been reversed, and she'd found him like that on their kitchen floor.
And yes, she knows he told her countless times how he'd thought she was dead at first, or how he wondered if he'd ever get to see her again, but as that old saying goes -a picture is worth a thousand words-, and it rang more true to her than right this moment.
Tara sobs just a little, and Jax fights not to join her, instead some silent tears slip from his eyes while they cling to each other so tightly, so desperately. They remain like that for a little while, letting it all out before they manage to put themselves together again. One kiss and gentle touch at a time.
But eventually, they wipe the tears away, and turn their attention back to the files, even looking through the second one too, which is about Eli, but naturally contains some stuff that pertains to her as well.
But as far as regaining her memory is concerned, nothing happened, at least not yet, but she is thankful nonetheless that Jax finally let her see all this, because it does answer some things she spent hours upon hours wondering about. Along with the few other details she now knows, that she didn't know before.
She knows now she didn't pull nor fire a gun that afternoon. There were ironed clothes, and an ironing board, yet no iron to be found anywhere in the house, which suggests it was used as a weapon against her, and whoever did this took it. She imagines it was the cause of the bruises on her body.
What exactly caused the puncture wounds to the back of her neck, and head couldn't be determined, all they knew was it had been something rather pointy, but blunt ... not sharp, like a knife. None of the cutlery around the kitchen turned out to be it, so that key evidence had been taken by Juice as well.
The police and the feds didn't know what kind of weapon Juice carried, but Jax did, and he knew that the bullet remnants retrieved from Eli's body were a match to the ammo used in the gun Juice was carrying. Further evidence of Juice's guilt in Jax's eyes.
Jax doesn't know why Juice did what he did, and he fears they may never know the truth why, but nonetheless, he decides to share his own thoughts on what he believes happened that day with Tara, based on all the evidence in these two files spread out before them.
He believes that she and Eli must've been standing in the kitchen when Juice entered the house. He must've fired at Eli, who still had his back turned, first, but before he could fire at her, she'd somehow gotten the gun away from him.
Maybe she'd thrown something at him, he can't be sure, but he pictured a struggle ensued, maybe even for the upper hand to get to that gun again first, which ended in him hitting her with the iron, and ultimately stabbing, and trying to drown her instead.
The way the place looked afterward, he knew she'd put up a hell of a fight, but what ultimately saved her was Juice's negligence in not realizing that she wasn't dead. He was too worried about disposing of the weapons, even going so far as to wipe some of the blood up, yet left the dirty rag, and in the end, he left the biggest piece of evidence behind by letting her live.
Tara let Jax's theory sink in, seeing that the details from what was in those files seemed to collaborate with what they already knew after Juice went after her for the second time in the hospital.
But now, after yet another disturbing rollercoaster, they are both exhausted, not just physically, but all of this has taken another emotional toll on them.
Jax stashes the files away in the bedroom closet, high up, so that the boys couldn't accidentally find them and be scared by the pictures of the horrific scene in the house they used to call home.
He wants a cigarette so badly, but despite his fiending for some nicotine, he just can't bring himself to leave her side right now for long. So instead he hurries as he double-checks that the front door is locked and bolted, and that the security chain is in place, before he goes about the apartment to turn the TV and all the lights off too.
Back in the darkened bedroom, he quickly slips beneath the blankets right beside her.
She turns around to face him, a little afraid of what tonight's dreams might bring, she reaches out to him, her hand on his arm, "Can you hold me, please?"
"Of course." He says, and pulls her into his embrace at once, kissing the top of her head again, relishing the scent of her filling his nostrils again.
A beat or two passes silently, before he speaks, "I love you, Babe."
"I love you, Jackson." She answers in a whisper against his chest, then adds, "So much."
X
The next three weeks seemingly go by more quickly, and also less drama-filled, which is nice for a change.
He works late on occasion, and so does she. But whenever they are both at home, they are all about spending quality time as a family. Which means lots of board and card games in the middle of the week, impromptu trips to the ice cream parlor in town, and even more frequent visits to the playground the boys love so much.
About two weeks ago, they spent Thanksgiving with Mrs. Ellie and her daughter Allison. Both of them did most of the cooking, since, unlike Jax, Tara had to work for a couple of hours that very morning. But overall, it had been a nice day spent with good food and good people.
A day or two after that, Jax gets a long-awaited call from Bobby. Back when SAMCRO started Diosa Norte, Jax had used the majority of his own cash to front the starting cost, everything from the renovations, and decorations of the old Elks Lodge, along with the starting pay of some of the girls. But finally, Bobby called to let him know that the money SAMCRO still owes him is finally washed, and they'd be able to write him a big juicy check outright in the upcoming days. He'd have to pay some taxes on it doing it this way, but Lowen is already consulting with a colleague of hers, who specializes in tax laws and would find a workaround that would be getting him the most bang for his buck, so to speak. Needless to say, Jax is elated that he'd finally have some much-needed cash on hand again.
He and Tara still haven't combined their bank accounts again, but he's pretty much been writing her a check every pay period, over the exact amount of his paycheck, since all the household bills are being paid out of her account alone. Rent, utilities, groceries, Abel's preschool ... you name it, she is paying for it.
That only left him with the monthly payments Bobby and Chibs had been sending him when they'd bought his share of T-M from him months ago. It isn't much, but with the few savings he still had, it's been enough to pay for his gas and insurance, for the truck and the bikes, his nicotine addiction, and also the odd thing here and there he'd pick up on occasion for Tara or the boys on his way home.
So having money coming his way, big money, is lifting a weight off of his shoulders he hadn't even realized was there, considering everything else that has been going on between them, and not to forget the reappearance of the Kohn problem.
But he hasn't told Tara just yet about the windfall that is coming their way, because he wants to have the check in hand, or even better, deposited in the bank, before he shares the good news with her. Things concerning the MC went sideways more often than not, so he'd keep his mouth shut until it was a done deal.
He already has some plans for the money though, and hopefully, she'll agree. Once he has that cash, he wants to start looking for a better and bigger place for them.
Instead of an apartment, he wants to find a house with a yard big enough for a swing and a slide, with at least two more bedrooms than this place, so the boys wouldn't have to share a room anymore, and a garage too, so he'd be able to store his bikes at home, instead of having to leave them locked away at Baker's Automotives. He can already envision the look on Tara's face when he told her. She'll love it.
There is nothing that makes him happier than to see his wife and boys be happy too. Seeing them smile can almost make him forget all the horrible shit that happened in their past.
He tries to focus on the good as much as he can, instead of dwelling on the bad, like the truth about Gemma, which still haunts him when he lets his mind drift there, or the fact that Juice is still at large. He tries his best not to think about all that shit, and in turn, he and his little family are happier than they've been in a long time. Everything is going great right now, and they are finally doing better emotionally too.
Tara in particular feels so much more at ease around him, falling asleep comfortably in his arms night after night, and he credits it to the fact that he is not pushing her about sex as he was before.
Sure, they still have the occasional make-out session on the couch after the boys are asleep, some of them quite hot and heavy, but he's been respectful of her wishes, and in turn, he sees such a change in her in just a few weeks, that it now furthers his resolve to wait it out, and let her be the one to approach him about taking that next step.
It isn't easy by any means, because every day he wants her more than ever, but he knows doing this her way is the right way to go about really fixing what is broken between them.
So overall, they have been happy, but tonight, something is about to change, and it isn't necessarily for the better, but he doesn't know that just yet.
He already fed and bathed the boys, and just finished reading to them, ready to tuck them into bed for the night, when he heard the apartment door unlock. It is already past eight-thirty by the time she comes through the door, but she is glad she made it just in the nick of time to at least give their boys a hug and a goodnight kiss, especially considering the news she is about to share with their father.
She steps out of the boys' room, and follows the smell of food in the air that leads her all the way to the kitchen. Jax picked up some Thai food on his way home earlier, and while Tara was busy tucking in the boys for the night, he fixed her a plate and heated it up for her already too.
"Thank you." She says, giving him a quick kiss on the lips, and looks up at him gratefully when she sees the plate he just put on the table for her. Her schedule changed so much today that she hasn't had a bite to eat all day, and by now she is hungry, to say the least.
"How was your day?" She asks him, before she begins to eat.
"Pretty good actually. We got busy for a while, but we all got out of there on time." Jax says, putting the last of the dishes from the sink into the dishwasher, and spinning around to face her, leaning back against the kitchen counter behind him.
"Yours?" He asks in return, his eyes now completely trained on her, because he can sense there is something off about her tonight.
Tara nods, "Mine was good too, ... mostly." She adds, before she takes another bite, and Jax raises his eyebrows curiously, not so much at her words, but more at the tone in her voice.
She continues to eat, taking a few sips of her water too, when the spiciness of the curry is beginning to get to her. But Jax remains quiet, giving her a moment to finish up her plate, before he confronts her about what is making her look so on edge tonight.
A few more bites, and Tara is done. She stands, rinses the plate in the sink, and places it in the dishwasher herself, ignoring Jax's eyes on her every move, while she proceeds to start the dishwasher now.
But then she turns back toward him, leaning against the counter too, mimicking his stance right beside him, when she finally looks over and meets his eyes.
"What's wrong, Babe?" He says, not liking the vibe he is getting from her. Why does she seem so nervous?
"I have to tell you something." She starts, and reaches for his arm, as if she is already trying to comfort him for what she is about to spring on him next.
She sighs deeply, and meets his eyes straight on, a flash of guilt in her eyes. "There's a medical conference in Boise, and I have to go to represent Medford Memorial."
Jax releases the breath he's been holding, realizing that this isn't at all the kind of bad news he anticipated. Juggling the kids on his own for a few days he can deal with ... this is nothing!
"Idaho?" He asks, confirming that's the Boise she is talking about, and Tara simply nods.
"When?" Comes his next question, still slightly confused as to why she was so nervous to tell him about this.
"The day after tomorrow. I'll be gone for five days, filling in last minute for someone else. The hospital already changed the booked flight into my name, it leaves around noon." Tara replies without missing a beat.
"Shit, that's fast." He answers, wondering some more if that's what has her all worked up.
"Yeah, I know." She nods yet again, folding her arms in front of her chest, and he can see that flash of guilt in her eyes once more now, while she remains suspiciously quiet.
"It's short notice, but I sense that's not what's got you all twisted up." Jax can't stand this another minute longer. "Babe, just spit it out already?"
"You're right, it's not." She confirms, and looks anywhere but at him when she finally adds the bit of news she just knows will probably result in a fight, "Including me, there's 5 of us going, and one of them is John."
"Motherfucker." The curse escapes his lips instantly, and his voice raises. "You've got to be fucking kiddin' me."
"I wish I was." She replies, even though she knows he said it in a rhetorical sense. She dares to look up at him now, her eyes pleading with him to understand, "I've really tried to get out of it, because I know this wouldn't sit right with you."
"Yeah. No shit." He replies, his voice dripping with anger and sarcasm.
Now that the ugly news has been revealed, she just wants to reassure him as best as she can that he's got nothing to worry about. She leans into him beside her, and places a few sweet kisses against his shoulder, "I know how much you hate this, but you know that you've got nothing to worry about, right?" She wants so much to hear him say that he knows that to be true.
But Jax is pissed, and the more he thinks about it, the more pissed he gets. "So this conference ... it's at a hotel or some shit? The same hotel you all will be staying at?"
When she just nods her answer, he wants to punch a wall or something ... the thought of that fucker prancing around his girl nonstop for five uninterrupted days and nights in some fancy fucking hotel has him seeing red.
Deep down he knows she's faithful and loyal to a fault, and wouldn't risk what they've been working so hard to get back to. She's smarter than him that way, and wouldn't make his kind of mistakes, but knowing all of that doesn't help him in the least. He can't help the way he feels, he wishes he could, but he just can't.
Jax grabs his cigarettes, and lighter off of the kitchen counter, then reaches for his keys on the kitchen table before he quickly turns, and without another word heads for the door.
"Jax." Tara cries after him, "Please don't leave now, not like this."
"Don't wait up." Is all he replies angrily, not looking back before he slips out the apartment door.
X
Author's Note: Hope you liked this chapter. Please let me know what you think. Can't wait to hear from all of you. xoxo, Skater